Koi to Yobu: Stalking and harassment are crimes. They're essentially rape, it's the same principle of consent being violated. Men who do these things should be shot, not awarded seasons of anime. For that matter assaulting a girl is also a crime, though she had it coming. And while we're at it corrupting a minor is also a crime. And sex outside of marriage should be a crime and was in the past. Who thought to make this guy their main character? The girl is also to blame. Instead of giving in and treating him as a friend because he won't go away she should have called the police and put him in jail. Her weakness and tolerance at being abused is as frustrating as his abusiveness. Fail.
Joran: What the hell was this? Everyone's actions were completely unexplained and incomprehensible. The world is bizarre and chaotic. Nothing and no one is as they seem. Bleh. Story telling must convey a story. A mindless montage of visuals and unrelated events does not a story make. Fail.
Mashiro no Oto: Like with Koi to Yobu, assault is a crime. The first episode of this series had more crimes in it than probably Japan has in a day. The guy was beaten twice and kidnapped once. He was also dumped 'for his own good', which makes no sense and is probably more painful than all the beatings and kidnappings combined. Then you have this deadbeat musician living off a girl who has to work as a hostess and pinup model, so basically a pimp. Who also cheats on her. And this cheating pimp is considered screwable by not one but at least two girls (hence the cheating being possible.) How does that work? And then this cheating pimp decides to move in with the dumped boy protagonist who he had earlier in the episode assaulted and kidnapped and the protagonist seems to think this is normal and fine, offering no objection. What the hell is this? I admit the shamisen song in the middle of the episode was pretty, but this story is 90% stupidity and 10% shamisen. That's not good enough. Fail.
Shakunetsu Kabaddi: I don't like reluctant heroes. Anyone forced into doing something they don't want to do is a waste of time. A story is about decisions and their consequences, so if you take away a person's decisions there's no story. The first ten minutes of this worthless show is a reluctant hero forced into playing the stupid sport of kabaddi. The next ten minutes is him actually playing the stupid sport of kabaddi. Rarely have I seen such a stupid sport, I can't believe it actually exists. It's a combination of tag, holding your breath, and wrestling, all while chanting the stupid word 'kabaddi' non-stop. Who comes up with this stuff? And what person with any self-respect would actually play it? If I had known how stupid this sport was I wouldn't have even watched the first ep. Fail.
Shaman King: When you combine an ugly art style with an unoriginal plot you get Shaman King. Perhaps I could have forgiven all of that, but it's childish to boot. A thug beats up a kid to the point of near death, with severe head trauma and a broken arm, and people laugh it off as a good prank. Then on top of that when they 'avenge' the kid, all they do is give the thug a haircut, and then they let him get away from there. That's right, beating someone to near death is 'avenged' with a haircut. You don't beat him up, kill him, or capture him and turn him into the police. You give him a haircut. Fail.
Vivy, Flourite Eye's Song: There's something about rude teddy bears in anime. It's in Danganranpa and like every other series. There's always some rude teddy bear giving obnoxious orders and not caring when people die. This rude teddy bear gets 70% of the lines in the story, so he's hard to ignore. Since I don't like the teddy bear that says everything how can I like the show? Besides, there's no evidence that the AI's didn't revolt for good reason. You need to get their side of the story before you act. Changing history on the word of only one side of the dispute is dumb. Fail.
Seven Knights Revolution: This show has good voice acting and animation, it clearly has a high budget, but I'm getting tired of simplistic plots like these. Mindless beasts are rampaging across the world slaughtering everyone, and only the chosen heroes who come across powerful artifacts that let them transform into cool knights can beat them. Go, transforming hero, bring down the mindless beasts and earn renown among your peers by saving the innocent peons! It's just so easy, so purposeless. No effort to make the villain a recognizable and relatable threat that might come up on Earth, and no effort to make the heroes deserve to be the ones that can defeat the threat, through their wits or grit or anything. How do I empathize with such an orchestrated situation? Fail.
Farewell my dear Cramer: I like girls, and I like soccer, so an anime about a high school girl's soccer team is right up my alley. The art style is weird but I'll adjust to it. Certainly better than an anime about kabaddi. Pass.
Combatants will be dispatched: From the maker of Konosuba, another fantasy comedy full of twisted personalities intertwining in interesting ways to produce something not-so-bad-after-all. If you liked Konosuba you'll like this, nothing much more to say. Pass.
That covers the first week of the spring season's new releases. Hopefully some better stuff is coming up, which I'll cover in a part 2.
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