ILLYRIA
Chapter 1.
The
barbarians charged, blue-streaked bodies waving spears and long oval
shields. Their war cries echoed through the chasm, sending their
chilling screams across the Lyrian ranks from all sides. He could
see the panic, the nervous fidgeting in his men, the shifting back
and forth. The shield wall was breaking, gaps were appearing in the
ranks as green recruits tried to push their way behind those trying
to hold their ground. Confusion was spreading, sending his legion
into a disordered mass. Marcellus stepped forward, shouting at the
top of his lungs to hold the line, to reform ranks. He opened his
mouth—and no sound came. He could not get the air through his
throat. He pushed, his whole lungs pushing to get the air, the
command, out so that his army would not be crushed against the chasm
walls. But nothing came. And with horror he realized it was too
late. The legion behind him had turned their backs to the rushing
foe, had thrown down their swords and shields so as to flee the
faster. He stood alone against the entire blue-painted barbarian
charge. For some reason the Eagle banner of the tenth legion had
been set aflame. Marcellus could not understand it. The sacred
banner, the banner that legion had lived and died for over a century,
was burning to tiny cinders before his eyes. His entire life, ashes
floating away in the wind. The first barbarian reached him, and
Marcellus swung his gladius for the incredibly tall and muscled body,
but the barbarian nimbly ducked under the swing and thrust his spear
into Marcellus’s unprotected right side. The spear sank deeper,
piercing the organs beneath his ribs, the fire of the wound chasing
him into the awaiting darkness. He tried to scream with the pain,
but no sound would come. He screamed and screamed in silent agony.
A
tiny gurgle escaped his throat, and Marcellus awoke, his body awash
in cold sweat. He threw his blanket off shakily, sitting up to make
sure his side remained whole. The tent was still dark in the gray
hours before dawn. There was the quiet orderly shuffle of cooks
preparing the breakfast meal and sentries making the rounds. The
tenth legion, alive and well. Marcellus allowed a long and shaky
breath to escape his lungs. Just a dream. Just a horrible dream.
“Are
you alright, sir?” Bernadine asked. The best slaves almost had a
sixth sense tuned to the slightest alteration in their masters.
Bernadine must have woken up the moment Marcellus had shifted in his
cot.
Marcellus
rubbed his eyes, letting the drowsiness of sleep fall off from him.
Now that he was awake he might as well make his rounds. Too much
sleep would leave him groggy for the rest of the day. “It was
nothing, Bernadine. Just a bad dream. Please, don’t trouble
yourself about it. There’s still an hour before muster.”
“A
bad omen, to have a nightmare before the day of battle.” Bernadine
murmured, casting about for his cloak. This far north the
countryside could get very cold.
“It
was nothing.” Marcellus said more emphatically. The last thing he
needed was a rumour of bad omens tunneling like some worm through the
legion’s courage. “Say nothing of it.”
“Of
course, sir.” Bernadine nodded, bemused that Marcellus had even
bothered to order it. He was right. Bernadine had served Marcellus’
household for twenty years and had never betrayed their confidence.
That dream had shaken him up badly, if he was beginning to doubt the
tact of his own slave. Marcellus ran his hands through his hair,
wiping the sweat from his forehead, and pulled the tent flap back to
reveal the familiar layout of his camp.
The
ghostly light of the unrisen sun gave a sort of surreal cast to the
legion. Dim gray shapes walked through the foggy and silent camp
tending to horses or small cooking fires. Except for the human
motion and noise, the night was doused in a total silence. It was
too cold for the insects, and too early for the birds. Two men
outside his tent saluted sharply, fist to chest, as the banners of
the tenth Eagle and the personal Sunhand banner of the Marcellus
family waved in the chilly morning breeze. Ringing the camp was a
hastily but expertly crafted ditch and wooden stockade. Sentries
paced back and forth along the edge. The cold kept everyone moving
briskly, using the heat of their own exertion to combat the northern
chill. Most of these men came from the seashore or the countryside
nearby. The balmy winters of the south gave little preparation for
the northern borderlands of Illyria. In truth, the barbarians had
already pierced uncomfortably far into the countryside. They had
come like some winter monsoon, howling down from the north and
overwhelming the armies that had dared to stand in their path. Of
course the barbarians hadn’t yet faced a legion, but the reports of
their numbers were daunting enough. The Ogres who inhabited the
northern forests had no cities to speak of, but the populations of
their tribes reached into the millions. The Suweii tribe, it seemed,
had decided to emigrate en masse to the fairer soil of the south. If
they were not repulsed, the entire northern border would collapse as
all the other Ogre tribes watched the incursion and followed its
example. The Ogres were canny and cautious. If Illyria ever showed
a sign of weakness, they would come in the hundreds of thousands to
rape the land. This invasion had to be stopped now. Now, before the
Suweii tribe multiplied into ten, twenty more. Before the barbarians
believed the fame of Illyrian warriors was a thing of the dusty past
and that they had now grown soft and pliable. And winning the battle
would not be enough. The battle could not emerge as a dubious
victory, or a stalemate. If the Ogres once believed they could stand
against an Illyrian Legion, they would come hurtling down from the
mountains like an avalanche. The Suweii tribe would have to be
utterly annihilated. Wiped from the face of the earth.
Extinguished, as an example for all the rest that invading Illyria
was tantamount to suicide. So that the Ogre children would grow up
learning of the fierce Lyrian demons that devoured those who ventured
too far from home. That was the story this battle would have to
generate. The story that would protect Illyria from the Ogres for
the next ten generations.
“Sir?”
An attendant approached, waiting for the reason behind Marcellus’
early rising. Marcellus’ back ached from the cold, the scars of
too many battles coming back to haunt him. “Tell all the marshals
to assemble at the field headquarters. We have today’s march to
discuss.”
“Consul.”
The attendant saluted, and left to wake up those marshals still in
their beds. The tenth Legion had grown used to Marcellus’
attention to maneuver. Even when he served as a Marshal in the
marchlands, his battalion would march twice or three times as far as
the rest of the legion. The other marshals would joke about
Marcellus’ Nomads, because he could not seem to settle his men down
in any one place. But the Consul had nodded in quiet approval. That
was a long time ago, when he still served under that legend who had
almost single-handedly doubled the size of the Republic. Marcellus
wondered if Maximus would have been so eager to wage that war, now
that he saw how the huge expanse of frontier strained Illyria’s
armies on every side. Legions could no longer be stationed at the
borders, but instead as response units who would go to face barbarian
raids only after they’d wreaked their havoc. Raids would come and
go before the Legions could even reach the battle. Raids that kept
any serious settlements from even inhabiting the borders of the
Republic. It wasn’t right. Citizens going without protection,
having to hold their own. Marcellus could only hope that the
barbarians brought under the Lyrian umbrella of civilization would
convert in time to form new Legions capable of holding the line. So
much rested on whether or not the conquered provinces embraced the
life of civilization over the tribes. If their worship of Bales and
Vosta and all the others fell away for the reverence due to the
Goddess.
If
Maximus were still here, he’d laugh at Marcellus’ constant
fretting and remark that the same skill that had conquered the land
would protect it. But Maximus wasn’t here to lead the armies
anymore. Only his marshal of the Nomads remained to finish the work
Maximus had begun. Now Marcellus was the consul, now Marcellus had
to crush the Ogre tribes with the same ruthless efficiency as the man
he would have followed into the depths of Hell. The mantle was his.
Now the Sunhand banner flew beside the flag of the Tenth Legion.
Marcellus tried to surreptitiously rub away the aches of his body as
he made his way to the field tent. He almost had
followed Maximus to
the gates of Hell. Twice. He was prouder of those scars than
anything else he owned. They were the proudest achievement of his
life.
Now
the cook fires were into full swing, the smell of roasting mutton
permeating the air. It was a good smell. The smell of a legion
operating with perfect assurance and efficiency. An army that
trusted its leaders and trusted themselves. An army that was calm
enough to eat breakfast before they set out to do battle. Knowing
that they would come back alive.
“Consul?”
The marshals had gathered beneath the field headquarters, unrolling
carefully kept maps to read by the light of the burgeoning dawn.
“Fabius.”
Marcellus grinned, clasping wrists with his most trusted underling.
Fabius had served under Maximus as well. When Marcellus’ wing had
given way, Fabius’ had held. So well that he detached his back
ranks to swing left to the rescue. Fabius knew defense as well as
Marcellus knew how to move an army. He was the one man Marcellus
could trust to take over the Legion.
“Another
nice day for marching homeward, Consul?” Fabius asked wryly.
“Every
day is a nice day to march homeward.” Marcellus responded, and the
marshals all laughed in assent. No one liked the fact that the
Legion had been retreating for the past ten days before the barbarian
incursion. That the Legion had not offered a battle before it had
turned tail and made for the sea. But Marcellus could not risk a
battle that would not be decisive. This battle had to be the only
battle, before it
became a war for the survival of the whole Republic.
“Gentleman,
today will be a tricky one for all of us. The barbarians are hot for
a fight. They’ve given up on provisions or looting or anything so
that they can catch up to us today. And today we’re going to let
them catch us.”
A
cheer broke out from the marshals, eyes lighting up like hounds
delighting with the sudden knowledge that they’d been unleashed.
“Shall we form the line, sir?” One delighted marshal piped up.
He was too young to be a marshal. But Marcellus had seen a fire in
him. He would do okay, if that enthusiasm didn’t kill him first.
“Not
here. We’re going to march ourselves into a corner. We’re going
to pin ourselves to the wall. We’re going to retreat until we have
to turn and fight
because the barbarians have left us no place else to go.”
“You
mean marching into the gorge of Amelia? But that ground is boxed in
on three sides.” The murmur of the marshals gave a note of unrest.
Marcellus always chose the best ground. They knew that, and that
was why they followed his marches whether they went forward,
backwards, up, or down. But this?
“The
barbarians will see us cornered, they’ll see us panicked, and
they’ll come charging into that gorge without forming any ranks or
any plan of battle. They think they’ve already defeated us. That
today will just be a matter of mopping up.”
“And
won’t it be true?” Fabius asked. “The Legion is always ready
to fight, but their backs to the wall with thousands of Ogres
screaming down their throats?”
Marcellus
shivered from the image of the burning banner in his dream. “The
barbarians are confident. They’ve defeated three garrisons and are
now routing a Lyrian Legion. We are going to use that confidence.
We are going to destroy them with that confidence. Once they see us
in that gorge, they won’t keep any reserves or any guard. Their
entire tribe will rush into the teeth of these mountains. And behind
them the second half of our Legion will emerge from the forest.
We’ll wait until they’re fully engaged, and then the hunters will
become the hunted. They’ll be packed so closely together that they
won’t even be able to turn around before they’re spitted on our
swords. And then all their courage will turn to panic. No matter
how brave a man is, the moment he believes he’s about to be stabbed
from behind, that man will throw away all his courage and take to the
hills. But this time the hills will be too high for them to go
anywhere. They’ll be pigs penned and helpless and awaiting the
slaughter.”
The
marshals almost whistled in awe. Fabius pulled the map of the gorge
closer to avail his aging eyes. “The timing will have to be
perfect.” He commented. “Too soon, and they’ll be able to
turn to meet the threat. Too late, and they’ll have crushed the
first half before the second can engage. Splitting an army is always
risky. What if the soldiers can’t organize quickly enough to come
to our relief?”
“Fabius,
I’m entrusting the Eagle to you.” Marcellus said. “You’re
my anvil. Leave the hammer to me.”
“Will
you want the Sunhand?” Fabius asked calmly.
Marcellus
hesitated. The Ogres probably wouldn’t understand the significance
of the Consul’s banner. But if they noticed in time, if they knew
it to be a ruse and managed to wheel around. . . “The Sunhand goes
with you. My son shall carry it.” Marcellus gave a nervous
breath. “The Sunhand Banner must be protected. Do you understand?
It is the honor of my family.” Fabius nodded, hiding the knowing
smile that Marcellus could read in his eyes. He would have had to
punch him, if that smile had reached his mouth. He’d be damned if
Publius died in his first engagement. He’d be damned if his
firstborn son died in this battle today.
“Shall
we wake the troops?” A marshal asked, judging how long it would be
before the sun rose.
“No.”
Marcellus shook his head. “Everything needs to be normal. The
legion will be unsettled if we do everything different today. Let
them sleep until muster. Let them have long enough time to eat and
go to the latrines and form up into order. We want
the Ogres to be on
our heels, mad with the scent of victory. We can spare a few hours
now.”
The
Marshals saluted, taking it as a dismissal. He knew that some of
them didn’t like him or his methods. They had lived during a time
when Illyria won every battle, and their pride had grown accustomed
to it. War meant riding out and crushing the barbarians with the
ease of a midday stroll. They didn’t like retreating and plotting
and using sneaky ambushes and strategies. War was some sort of
honorable duel to them, where everything should be fair and even.
Where courage should determine the victor, not base trickery. The
Goddess save the world from leaders who thought war should be fair.
If Marcellus had his way, every fight would be between men unarmed
and tied up against a dozen Legions. If Marcellus had his way, there
wouldn’t even be a war, much less one that posed a risk to the
Republic. But it couldn’t be helped. Illyria was the land of
plenty, and to the barbarians looking in, it was a ripe fruit for the
picking. He had to teach them that this fruit had thorns. That
trying to pluck it would result in nothing but a bleeding hand. It
was the only language they understood, the flash of sword on shield.
It was the only language they shared. Mahara’s gift to the world.
“You
always get that gloomy face before a battle.” His son noted,
strolling over as he juggled a leg of mutton and wheat biscuits.
“It’s like you see something no one else does. Disaster. You
always see disaster. You look at the Legion and the only thing you
can see is some catastrophe that will wipe it out. Some mistake
you’ll make or some unexpected trick of the enemy. They’re
Ogres,
father.”
Marcellus
gathered back his thoughts to look at his son. Publius had the fair
northern hair of his mother. His blue eyes seemed to collect all the
light from the foggy morning and burst back into the world with glee.
The son had the fair skin of a lass. Not a scar on the boy, and
clean-shaven. If they dressed him up as a girl none could have told
the difference. But only a boy had that fierce excitement of a first
battle. Marcellus had known that feeling. The wish to do some
incredibly heroic feat and win the acclamation of the entire army.
His first battle had been one of the most dangerous in his life,
because of that stupidity. He would not let Publius make that same
mistake.
“You’ll
be reporting to Fabius today, son.” Marcellus said. “He will
give you instructions from there.”
The
coldness of his voice struck Publius like a slap. “Of course,
father.” He almost saluted before he remembered that his hands
were full of biscuits. Publius would be angry with him. He could
already imagine exactly what he would say: “What,
father, you will disgrace me so? Will you disgrace yourself, when
the legion sees how far you trust your own son?” Perhaps
when he was younger those arguments would have reached him. But now
he understood that some things were more important than disgrace. It
didn’t matter what the legion thought, or what shame Publius would
feel. Because he would be alive. He wouldn’t have to go back to
Lydra and tell her that her son had died. That he had killed their
son, before he ever had a chance to live. That was the only thing
that mattered. Publius would understand things after the first
battle that no amount of training can teach a soldier. Once he
survived this battle, Marcellus could trust him to exercise caution
and reserve. Only after one’s first battle does one realize that
he could die—unless he’s already dead. Marcellus couldn’t
trust Publius in battle until he learned that lesson. He had to
understand. If Publius hated him after this, Marcellus would hate
himself. He had to understand.
The
trumpet calls of muster bleared throughout the camp. Marcellus
rolled up his maps and placed them reverently back into their case.
These maps were the essence of war. Choose the ground of the battle,
and the battle is won. The truth of that was reflected by the fact
that Marcellus was the Consul of Illyria. One of the most respected
men in the entire Republic. And the successor singled out by Maximus
on his deathbed. All because of these maps. He slid the mapcase
into the pouch beside his belt, and went to get breakfast.
His
knife made quick work of the biscuits and mutton, carefully inserting
the roasted meat into the inviting buns. Some people ate them
separately, but Marcellus always felt the two together was a meal,
and apart they were only rations. He didn’t understand the
difference, but it was there. And so he ate them together.
“Will
the Eagle banner fly today?” A soldier asked.
“Will
the Sunhand see blood?”
“Will
Illyria witness our triumph today?”
Marcellus
looked at the soldiers with their eager attentiveness upon their
Consul. They trusted in him as only years of campaigning and
victories could earn. They had retreated for ten days with no
complaints, every evening making a new fortification before settling
down to sleep, and demolishing it every morning before they began
their march. He loved the tenth Legion for that. “Legionnaires!”
Marcellus shouted to quiet their questions. “Today will be the
last day of the Suweii under the sun!”
And
the entire legion broke out into frenzied cheers. Because whenever
their Consul had promised victory, it had been true. They believed
in him. They believed they would win no matter what the
circumstances if only he said they could. That was why they were
willing to do whatever he asked of them. Because they knew it was so
that their Consul could give them this triumph each and every time.
In the midst of their cheers the legion formed into the line of
march, scouts and pickets fanning out into the countryside, and in
rapid efficiency their sleeping camp became a Legion on the move:
the most terrifying military power on earth.
Fabius
spurred his horse forward to ride beside Marcellus. The two horses
snorted warnings to each other, nipping at each other’s necks.
They seemed to know that the two leaders of the legion were riding
them, and fought for preeminence accordingly. Marcellus jerked
Vale’s reins hard and the horse took two skittish steps sideways
before settling back down.
Fabius
pulled on his mustache. “It’s not like you, to fight far from
the Eagle.”
His
dream flashed through his mind as more a feeling of dread than any
coherent image. “I trust you.”
Fabius
nodded, as if that were taken for granted. “I can promise you half
an hour. But the Legion doesn’t have the same fervor with me.
They see me as the solid and wise counselor, the one who will get the
legions out of trouble. Not as their leader in battle. I can’t
bellow warcries and fire up the legionnaires. It won’t be the same
legion without you.” They both knew the danger wasn’t in the
actual battle. Trapped against the canyon walls, however, the Legion
would be torn to shreds the moment they broke into rout. Amelia’s
Gorge promised the total destruction of whichever army that broke
within its maw. This battle would be one of courage, in the end.
Whether the Legion had enough faith in Marcellus’ daring
counterattack to hold their ranks amidst the huge Ogres with their
incredible numbers and chilling screams would mean the difference
between total victory or total defeat. And Fabius could only promise
that kind of courage to stand for thirty minutes under his command.
“I
can’t be in both places!” Marcellus said. “And they need me
in the forest just as much. Without my lead, they’ll either come
too early or too late. Or else they’ll get lost and not turn out
in the right place. A regiment without a banner or
the Consul is
nothing but a mob.”
Fabius
snorted. “There are a lot of gray veterans behind us who would
have a thing or two to say about that.”
“Let
them. We’re pretty gray ourselves.” Marcellus challenged.
“Do
you remember when Maximus led us against the Lucian battlements?”
Marcellus
nodded. “A long time ago.”
“You
hated it. You were like a child deprived of his favorite toy.
‘There’s no strategy to scaling rocks!’”
“It
took Maximus two years to conquer a single city. Attacking
fortifications is the most pointless and unequal battle known to man.
In sieges the attacker usually starves before the defender. It ties
down a huge number of assaulters with a tiny number of defenders.
Storming the city means fighting on ground of their choice. And
you’re more likely to starve the women and children than the men.
I’ll never attack walls. If the Senate asks me to, I’ll resign.”
Fabius
nodded. “It’s just that. There are a lot of gray men who’ve
scaled too many rocks and marched too many miles. They’ll stay the
course, for their love of you and Illyria. But it has to end. Some
of these men haven’t seen their wives in five years. They don’t
even know if they have wives anymore.”
“I’m
not Maximus.” Marcellus said. “I’m not searching for new wars
to prove myself with. My father died fighting the Ogres. I’ve
been fighting them all my life. Now my son is fighting the Ogres.
It has to end somewhere.”
Fabius
looked at the horizon, looking backwards in time. “He was a great
man. All he had to do was stand there, and a nimbus of power
emanated from him. His whole life he searched for a challenge, for
his match. But he couldn’t. No one stood a chance against him.
He just won and won all his life.”
Marcellus
nodded. “We had a little to do with that.”
Fabius
shook his head. “He made
us people who could
help him. He saw the potential and he cultivated it. Any
achievement we have is a part of his.”
“Tributaries
flowing irresistibly into the greater river. The greater our size,
the greater the river’s.” Marcellus said.
“That
was Maximus.” Fabius said. “Like lodestone. He just has a pull
on the world around him. The whole world seemed to lean towards him.
As if listening for the next word that would come out of his mouth.”
“He
owned the entire age. You talk about the last fifty years and his is
the only name in history. That’s more a mark of shame than of
pride, though. There is room for more than one person in this world.
Illyria should be more than one person. It has
to be, if we want
to remain Illyria.”
“I’ll
hold you to that.” Fabius answered gravely. “Let’s make this
the last fight. Don’t stretch the campaign with the Ogres into
eternity. Let’s just win this war and go home.” Marcellus
looked at Fabius, really looked
at him, for the
first time that day. Silver hair was competing with his dark brown,
and his mustaches were sprinkled with salt. Crowfeet stamped across
the edges of his eyes, and lines of worry and concentration etched
themselves around his mouth. It was a face that had seen more
battles than the Goddess could count, a face that could count how
many times it had ever smiled. Marcellus enjoyed being Consul. He
loved his Legion and he loved winning. But Fabius was only here to
get the job done. He fought because he knew there was no one else
who could replace him. He put Illyria before himself, with only the
quiet solace of knowing it was worth it. If Marcellus went on
fighting wars, if he used the dedication of good men to Illyria as
fuel for the fire of his own glory, he would be nothing less than
Mahara’s dog. Using the virtue of others as the very chains to
enslave them was the greatest evil Marcellus could imagine.
“The last fight then.”
Marcellus promised. The two clasped wrists, and Fabius dipped back
to rejoin the Eagle. Marcellus tried to gauge the distance between
the Legion and the barbarians by the sun. He couldn’t tell. He
might have cut this one too close. He pulled his mapcase from his
pouch, unfurling the map in his lap. The mountains he’d sighted
this morning loomed a bit closer, and now he judged the angles from
the two to plot the distance to the gorge. Riding on his horse with
a map in his lap was hardly the best of circumstances for
triangulation, but it couldn’t be helped. The legion had to look
as though it were on the run. It couldn’t wait for him to stop and
calculate at his leisure.
“Summon
the marshals of the first through fifth detachments.” He ordered
his attendant. He watched the sun with a worried glance until the
marshals had made their way forward.
“Consul?”
The young marshal asked.
Marcellus
dismounted, rolling out his map onto the ground. “Gather round,
sirs.” He motioned, and the marshals crouched into a circle around
him. Marcellus grabbed a nearby twig. “According to my reckoning,
we’ll be in the gorge in thirty minutes.” He pointed at the
point he’d triangulated. “With the barbarians hot on our heels.”
The
marshals gave a worried murmur. He’d cut it too close, this
morning.
“Now
as soon as we enter this forest, I want you to break off from the
legion and cut like so.” He drew a diagonal line at 45 degrees to
the right and left of the gorge. “It is necessary that the Ogres
have enough berth to go straight for the gorge.” He ordered
emphatically. “Do you understand? Your detachments are to hide
like rabbits. You’re to burrow like mice, or the Ogres will
destroy us piecemeal and after us Illyria. No heroics. No noise.
Nothing.”
The
marshals nodded gravely.
“Now
I want a line of trumpeters to connect our two regiments. The moment
I give the signal, the trumpets will resound across the forest. We
have to attack together. Without our full weight they’ll tear us
apart. There must be no
hesitation.
Regardless of the way things look from your perspective, you hear the
trumpet and you charge. Do you understand?”
The
marshals murmured assent.
“Good.”
Marcellus stated with finality, rolling up his map. “Now get back
to your columns and put everything in order. I’m counting on you.”
He slipped the map back into its case and into his pouch, wincing as
he stood from the sudden change in position. Old wounds protested in
the cold. It was just a part of life. Soon enough his horse took
him into the woods, and he had nothing left to do but wait. The
tenth legion marched blithely ahead, the two banners waving under the
trees to call as much attention to itself as possible. Soon enough,
that legion would about face in the gorge, trapped like badgers, and
the Ogres wouldn’t be able to tell their numbers. Soon enough his
charge would break them from behind. All his planning was over. Now
it was just time to wait for them to reach fruition.
Dismounting
from his horse, Marcellus signaled his detachment to hug the ground.
Carefully taking out his spyglass, he lay on the ground with his
elbows propping up his chest. Before an hour had passed, the
blue-painted Ogres rushed in pursuit. He tried to count their
numbers, but they came too fast and with too little order to form any
reliable count. They covered the ground like ants, crashing through
the forest without a care for anything around them or behind. They
knew the legion was on the run, that they had finally caught up to
the cowards. They knew they had nothing to fear. Marcellus counted
thousands. Tens of thousands. Could
Fabius hold for thirty minutes? He
had to wait for all of them to become fully engaged in the gorge.
Fabius had to
hold.
Five
minutes passed. Ten minutes. Where
were the scouts? A
centurion behind him muttered something under his breath. Marcellus
turned on him sharply, standing at his full height above the
crouching detachment. For some reason a thing as simple as height
made all the difference. “What did you say, centurion?”
The
centurion gulped. “It was nothing, sir.”
Marcellus
smiled toothily. “Something like this: ‘An ill omen, to be
fighting under no banner.’”
“Just
idle talk, sir.” The centurion plead.
First
my dream, now this. Could they be right? Is this auspicious? Did I
leave some vital part out of my plan? Have I made a mistake and
angered the Goddess? No. My plan is perfect. This battle will be
perfect. All the omens be damned. Marcellus
smiled wider. “No, Centurion, I believe you’re right!”
The
detachment almost let out a gasp of startlement.
“Why,
just this morning when I went to the latrines, my piss was green!”
Marcellus shouted. And the men laughed in shock. “And when I
looked up at the sun, why it had risen in the West and was traveling
merrily eastwards!” The legion laughed even more, getting into the
spirit of it. The centurion had a bemused look of having escaped the
executioner’s ax. But Marcellus hadn’t done it for him. Chewing
him up would only seek to replace one fear with another. It would
mean ‘the fight is scary, but I’m terrifying, so charge the enemy
so as to run away from me.’ That
was not good enough. These men were too proud to fight like the
slaves of Leucadia. They fought out of love, not fear. They fought
out of pride, rather than out of cowardice. Lacerating the Centurion
would have thrown all of that upside down. The
best way to conquer fear is to belittle it. If the Legion finds
their fear something laughable, then they’ll discard it as not
befitting their dignity. This way, I use their pride. I don’t
tear it down. It’s better this way.
“Consul
sir!” A scout shouted at a voice barely below hysteria.
Marcellus
signaled the legion to rise and arm. Thank the Goddess, there was
still time. “Report!”
The
scout saluted fist to chest. “Sir, the barbarians are pressing
them hard. There’s hardly enough room for them to swing their
weapons, there are so many. But there’s more!” He paused to
take a breath. Marcellus and the whole Legion stood transfixed.
“Sir, their women and children are watching the battle from within
the Gorge! It is impossible to reach the Ogres!”
Marcellus
reeled. How could they! How could even Ogres be so stupid! The
thoughts raced through his head in ever-increasing fury. The
whole Suweii tribe must be extinguished. I can hold for thirty
minutes. I swear this will be our last fight. The story of this
fight will protect Illyria for the next ten generations. Failure
here will mean the Ogres pouring in like an avalanche. The
thoughts were like nails being driven into the coffin that was
entombing his soul. If he gave this order, the women and children
would not be able to escape the fray. If he didn’t give this
order, Fabius and the tenth Legion would be destroyed, followed
shortly by the rest of Illyria.
Why
hadn’t I listened to Her? Why had I mocked her omens? She was
practically screaming at me not to do this! How many innocents will
die from my impiety? The
entire legion awaited in silence. “Attendant,” Marcellus had to
stop and try to unclog the knot in his throat. “Attendant, sound
the attack.”
“Sir?”
The attendant asked, eyes widening.
“I’ll
take full responsibility!” Marcellus roared, turning on his
attendant with fury. “Now SOUND THE ATTACK!”
The
attendant nodded, shakingly lifting the trumpet to his lips. The
horn pealed through the forest, instantly being caught and copied by
a hundred more, until the whole forest was one blast of sound.
Fifteen minutes had passed. The legion boiled out of the forest with
the knowledge of their comrades’ distress. The brazen arms of
thousands of well disciplined legionnaires following the Ogres mad
rush only minutes before. Marcellus brought up the rear, exhorting
the detachment to keep rank and order, to press without hesitation,
to forget the horrible words of the cursed scout who had turned to
rubble all his carefully laid out plans.
In
the din of the battle, all the Ogres shouting at the top of their
lungs and trying to push forward in the narrow confines of the gorge,
the trumpets never had a chance of being heard. The Ogres were so
tightly packed that they couldn’t even swing their weapons for fear
of hitting each other. The women and children watched with terror as
the Legion trampled through them to reach the foe. Their cries and
screams of warning equally drowned out by the clash of steel. The
Ogres couldn’t even tell they were under attack when their hindmost
ranks started getting spitted from behind. To the few who did notice
and tried to turn about the Legion riddled with javelins, silencing
anyone who seemed to have any bit of initiative or intelligence. The
battle was over before it began. Eventually the rush of thousands
caught the attention of the Ogres, but by then it was too late to
mount any defense. Behind them and ahead of them, the disciplined
shield walls and darting bronze swords began to create devastating
holes in their line. Ogres turned about in panic, not knowing
whether to fight those to the fore or rear. Ogres began pushing from
the middle to reach the edges to reach the fight, and from the edges
towards the safety of the middle. Barbarians began to trample each
other, or even fight amongst themselves for the chance of escape.
The battle became a rout, save for a few last pockets of resistance.
Marcellus watched it all from the rear, shouting for the Legion to
press on. Until his eyes caught upon a circle of blue-painted boys,
and his voice left him.
The
lads turned to and fro, eyes quivering in terror from the jeers and
taunts of the victorious Legion. Like fawns separated from their
mother by racing wolves. They could not have been older than
eighteen, their smooth cheeks and slender builds in total contrast to
the wild and brutal men around them. Eyes flitted between them,
looks of anguished love for the companions left and right to them.
It looked as though they wished to cast down their arms, to weep and
plead for the mercy they could not hope to find, but with each
terrified look to another, hands reclenched around spears, shields
half-lowered came back to their guard. Marcellus watched, frozen in
time, and something quivered inside his breast and snapped. The
slaughter was everywhere, fleeing men trampled under from either
side, fleeing men pushing and striking each other for the supposed
safety of the other side, wives and children throwing themselves upon
their own swords, hanging themselves from the trees, cursing and
savaging their own fleeing warriors who had escaped the Lyrian jaw.
Jubilant cries rose from all sides, the rush of triumph and vengeance
for those armies crushed before them. All was noise and panic and
death. But Marcellus could only see this one band, this one last
vestige of resistance surrounded on all sides. His eyes could only
see those boys, some no older than his youngest son, and tears burned
silently down dust and sweat stained cheeks. With howling eagerness,
Lyrians crashed down from all sides, and the children vanished from
his sight.
Two
hours later, the army emerged in a daze. The fumes of death
chokingly strong, the bodies packed so close that it was impossible
to take a step without walking on top of them. The earth was caked
with blood and flies, and the Tenth Legion emerged from it as from
some mythical doomsday. Their eyes were glued open with horror, so
that nothing they saw registered to dull and worn out brains.
Marcellus was careful to avoid the Sunhand banner. He had fought
enough battles today. That one could wait for tomorrow. If he had
his way, it could wait a year. Or two.
“Your
report?” He asked, his voice completely dead.
“We
count forty thousand dead.” The attendant answered in a whisper.
The
number was too large to have any meaning. Forty thousand men simply
could not die in a single day. It was impossible. He could not have
killed that many men. Don’t
fool yourself. Not ‘men’. Women and children. Forty thousand
men, women, and children. The entire Suweii tribe. Just as you
wanted. Just like you prayed for.
“And
ours?” He answered in the same dull tone.
The
attendant gulped with an air of apology. “Five.”
Chapter 2.
That
night the Legion made as much distance as possible from Amelia’s
Gorge. There was no attempt to bury the dead. Such a burial would
create another mountain, and no one wanted to remain in that cursed
charnel heap any longer than necessary. Ghosts might wish to wreak
vengeance upon them. Or the humors of the air released by all the
blood and flies might infect the legion with all manner of ailments.
Nor did they attempt to take spoils from the dead. The Ogres were so
poor there was nothing left to take. Their huge, tall bodies were
their only possessions; much good it had done them in the end. The
evening meal was passed around with an unusual amount of clamor and
argument. The bonfires the centuries gathered around were a little
larger and brighter than normal. Noise and bright fires, they hoped,
would scare the spirits away. And remind them that they were still
alive.
Once
Marcellus made sure the evening stockade was well under way, he made
for his own tent to write a report. He passed under the Eagle and
the Sunhand with a sigh of relief, and then stopped dead upon
entering his tent.
“Father.”
Publius saluted, fist to chest. Marcellus looked at the oil lamp
and his desk and his supper and his cot that Bernadine had laid out
for him. That’s all he wanted to do now. To write his report,
eat, and go to sleep. Why did it always have to be more complicated?
“Father,”
Publius insisted. “Why did you give me the banner? Why was it my
duty to be the last man standing, the duty of the entire legion to
protect me? Of all the people in this entire Legion, why did it have
to be me? You knew
how much I wanted
this fight, and instead you made me hide in the safest place possible
like some child!”
Marcellus
wiped his forehead with a grimy hand. “What is it you want from
me?” He asked with resigned exhaustion.
“I
just don’t understand, Father. I try so hard to make you proud, to
fight like you do. To show the Legion what kind of son you have.
And you disgrace me. You disgrace yourself, and for what?”
Sheole,
Sheole. This is
your gift, isn’t it? The one that steals sons from fathers,
daughters from mothers, husbands from wives. I hate you most of all.
“Publius, today
I hope you learned something about war. It was something you had to
learn, before you could ever fight like I do. Because I fight to
live, and you fight so that you’ll be the first and bravest to
die.”
“A
lie!” Publius shouted. “You were never afraid! When you held
your shield over Maximus’ fallen body, the blows of ten men driving
you to the ground, you
weren’t afraid to
die! By the Goddess, father, just today you have won the greatest
victory our Republic has ever known, and you—“
“Not
a victory.” Marcellus interrupted quietly. “It wasn’t that.”
Publius
fell to his knees, looking upwards at his father with a pleading
look. “I love you and admire you so much. Why can’t you find a
place in your heart, just a tenth part of what I feel for you, for
me? Why can’t you trust me as much as you trust every other man in
this legion, your own son? Why can’t you find anything good in me
at all? Why am I such a failure?” His whole body shook with
emotion
Marcellus
watched his son with that same dead look as before. It hurt too much
to register anymore. “Today you carried the banner, the honor, of
our family. You faced the headlong rush of ten thousand warriors and
held them for twenty minutes alone. And your courage and faith in me
inspired the whole tenth Legion to stand. This I learned straight
from Fabius’ mouth. Today you have every reason to be proud. You
have failed no one. Not yourself, not me, and most of all not
Illyria.” Publius dared to look his father in the eyes.
“Now
stand up. It is shameful for a son to beg anything from his father
that I would not already give. You must see to the night’s watch.
And I must tell the City of our victory.”
Publius
nodded grudgingly. “Do you really think anyone would attack us
tonight?”
Marcellus
sighed. “Of course not. But if I don’t build the stockade even
once, then the Legion will find reasons not to build one for the rest
of eternity. I can never stray from discipline, however stupid, and
hope to keep all these men alive and returning to their families.”
“Of
course, father.” Publius nodded. As if to say, ‘Of course
everything you do is right and wise. I should never have thought to
question your judgment.’ Marcellus remembered to thank Illyria for
blessing him with this son. If Illyria would ever listen to him
again. Illyria, if
any vengeance must be had, let it fall on me. Curse not this loyal
Legion for what they did. It was by my hand. It was my impiety and
my command. All the blood is mine, all the retribution be mine as
well. I beg this of you, for all the years I’ve served. This is
my only boon for all those years.
“Sir?”
Bernadine touched him lightly on the arm. “Are you feeling well?”
Marcellus hadn’t even noticed when Publius had left the room. He
blinked, trying to remember what he was going to do. A report. He
still had to write a report.
“I’m
just tired, Bernadine. You can sleep if you like. I’ll be ready
in a bit.”
“I’ll
stay up a while, if you don’t mind.” He replied, settling into
his chair with his supper. He had waited to eat until after
Marcellus. It was little things like that that Marcellus loved him
for. He pulled up his chair and leaned over his desk, carefully
dipping his goose quill into the ink. Marcellus fondly remembered
the childhood tales of how the geese once saved the City from
conquest by fierce barbarians. There was a holiday of thanksgiving
for the geese every year, where the girls dressed up in white and the
boys wore horrifying masks, and the tale was reenacted every year to
show Illyria that they had never forgotten her protection in all
those years. When was the last time he had been home for that day?
When was the last time he had seen Marcus playfully sneaking up the
cliff walls, each step an exaggerated motion of stealth and malice?
The last time he had seen Jania gleaming like snow, playing the flute
like the trumpet-cry of the geese, warning all the men: ‘To arms!’
‘To arms!’ A blot of ink dripped from the quill onto the
parchment, ruining the whole sheet. Marcellus sighed and crumpled up
the paper, trying to remember again what he was supposed to be doing.
Oh yes, a report.
He
dipped his quill again, and placed it over the paper. His hand began
to shake, small tremors traveling up his arm. He pushed the quill
towards the paper, but his hand began to shake even more. By the
time the quill hovered less than an inch from the parchment, his hand
was shaking so violently no amount of will could get his hand to
approach any closer. He watched with wonder his hand clutched around
that quill moving with a will of its own. He simply could not reach
the paper. With a curse he threw down the quill and grabbed his
wrist massagingly with his other hand.
“Bernadine,
could you please fetch an attendant?” He threw himself back
against his chair, looking blankly at the roof of his tent. It must
be his nerves. He was just too tired. “Tell him I am indisposed.
Tell him he will have to give the report. Take my seal. That should
be enough.”
Bernadine
nodded tactfully, journeying into the cold night without complaint.
Marcellus yawned again, dousing the light of his lamp. Then he
thought Bernadine might have needed that light to find his way back.
But it was too late. He was too tired to do anything right.
Marcellus crawled into his blankets and fell asleep. He did not
notice when his slave made it back.
Marcellus
relaxed in his bath. Old wounds throbbing from the cold were heated
and cajoled into a feeling of painlessness. He was weightless, the
only sensation in his body that of well-being. It was the first time
he could remember in years that this body hadn’t been aching about
something. He gave a contented sigh and immersed himself to his nose
in the great bowl of steaming water. High above him was a blue sky
that showed no sign of storm, the great mountains set all around him
to form a giant bowl for his bath. A natural hot spring? A heated
lake this far north? Marcellus shook his head, not wanting to think
anymore. It was enough to just feel.
His muscles grew lax and his hair streamed out behind him. He would
have to show Lydra this when he got back to the City. His own
private retreat. They could leave the kids with the slaves, and come
up here for a summer and remember how being young felt. He smiled in
anticipation of that, imagining months of solitude together with the
northern beauty who still brought all eyes of a crowd to rest on her.
The only competition Lydra’s exotic complexion faced was that of
her own daughter’s. Their beautiful Jania. Their perfect snowy
Jania. How he missed seeing her.
But
there was something wrong. The water was cooling, the steam drifting
away. And something else. It was becoming stickier, congealing
around his body and coating his hair. The steam finally left the
lake entirely bare to his eyes. A
lake of blood. Marcellus’
eyes dilated in horrified recognition. He
was swimming in a lake of blood! The
mountains took on the familiar shape of Amelia’s Gorge, laughing at
him with malicious glee. He felt a brush of something icy-cold on
his ankle, and he screamed, pulling free. He looked to the rims of
the bowl with mounting comprehension. It was a bowl of flesh. A
carefully crafted bowl of human corpses. All the people he’d
killed. He tried to swim free, but the blood had become so solid and
sluggish that he couldn’t move through it. And beneath him, slowly
inching towards him, were a group of young boys with blue eyes gaping
at him like fish, trying to pull him under, trying to grab his
ankles, trying to—
Marcellus
woke, trembling in fear. He didn’t move for a minute, sweat
crawling on his body and his breath slowly coming back under control.
He didn’t want to move, for fear he was still in his dream. He
didn’t want to put reality to the test by throwing off his
blankets.
“Sir?”
A sleepy whisper came from nearby. “Are you awake?” And
Marcellus was flooded with relief. He was awake. And Bernadine was
here. Someone else was here who was still alive.
“Another
nightmare?” Bernadine soothed, lighting a candle to bring another
sense of safety to his master. Nothing like fire could ease the
human heart. Marcellus gazed at the candle and his slave thankfully,
like a child to his mother. Fire.
Necia’s gift. Blessed Necia. “You
simply must visit the temple of Illyria when we get home.”
Bernadine said. “This is the work of vengeful spirits. Illyria
will chase them from you. Just don’t you worry. It’s only a day
now. By tonight you’ll be sleeping back in your home with your
family under the protection of Scamander’s gates.”
Marcellus
nodded, still shaking. His sweat felt too much like blood. He had
to wash it off. He had to wash and wash until he couldn’t even
remember how it felt. Bernadine didn’t know that the nightmares
came from Illyria. That he had begged for her to punish him and him
alone for his impiety. That this was her boon to him. That his
penance and suffering would go on regardless if he was in the City.
Until she thought it was enough. Marcellus didn’t dare pray for it
to end. He had made a deal with her. So long as he honoured it, so
would she. His legion would suffer no evil. He had to be strong
enough to protect them. Just as he was smart enough to protect them
from Ogres, now he must be strong enough to protect them from the
retribution of the Goddess. That was what Consul’s were meant to
do.
He
left the tent to dunk himself in the river nearby. It wasn’t dawn
yet, but close enough to make no difference. The water would be
cold, even as far south as they were. But that was fine. Cold water
to wash away the hot blood. The symmetry of it brought a sort of
peace to his mind. The legion, even a day out from the City, sat
encamped within a ring of dirt and a ditch. The sentries might have
been a little relaxed, but he could understand. They were all happy
to be home. The wars were over. Marcellus and the entire legion
felt sure that no Ogre would dare cross their borders after their
victory. They would have to be courageous beyond the point of
insanity. His sins had bought Illyria their first peace in fifty
years. The first real lasting peace since Maximus had begun his
conquests. That was worth one soul. Just one soul to save the lives
of millions, now and to come. That had to be a fair exchange. He
would not begrudge the Goddess that. He plunged himself into the
river, staying in it as long as possible before his extremities began
to go numb with the cold. His scars at first made him wince, but the
icy cold seemed to take the pain away from them as effectively as
heat. When he emerged, a messenger had found him who seemed as
though he’d walked the whole circuit of the stockade without
success.
“Consul
sir!” The messenger saluted. “I bring word from the City!”
He made his way down the riverbank and handed over his message tube.
Marcellus took the time to dress himself again, the cold having
cleared away his head and leaving his flesh tingling in a nice way.
Marcellus
looked over the message, then read it again. He handed it back to
the messenger carelessly. “What does it say?” The messenger
asked, rolling the parchment back up. “If I may ask.” He added
after a moment.
“The
Senate greets the tenth Legion with gladness for Illyria’s
providence and so on.” Marcellus answered. He hated how many
words cityfolk used. Words seemed to flow out of their mouths like
sewage in a never-ending cascade. One could sift through it for
hours and not find one solid meaningful comment among them. Not like
with the Legion. Every word clean and precise and sharp as a sword.
He had forgotten how much he hated being back in the city with its
crowds.
“But.
. .are they serious?” The messenger gaped in wonder. “No
Triumph? No procession? After the greatest victory this Republic
has seen, not one
word in
commendation?”
Marcellus
shook his head. “It’s just as well. I wouldn’t have accepted
a Triumph had they given me one. That battle should be forgotten as
soon as possible. And Illyria should never have it cheered. Best
that the City never even knows of it. At least then they won’t
share its taint.”
The
messenger seemed not to have even heard the Consul. “They’re
jealous! The Senate is jealous of your accomplishments and they’re
stealing our Triumph. I can’t believe they have the gall to greet
you like. . . like. . .some departed cousin
from the
countryside!”
“Leave
off.” Marcellus said. This time with an air of command that lent
it finality. He took a deep breath of the air, loving the scent of
the sea and all the other smells of the south. “We’re home.
That’s all that matters. Home with our families after all these
years.”
“Of
course, sir.” The messenger answered deferentially. He was too
young to know what ‘all these years’ meant. But at least he was
wise enough not to show that. Marcellus didn’t feel like saying
anything else for a while. There would be words enough in the City.
Enough and more. Hopefully he could collect his family as quickly as
possible and settle off onto his farm. Let the curse be his and his
alone. He would not bring it to the City, where it could fall on the
heads of so many. He wanted to hang up his weapons and farm for the
rest of his years. The Senate would not be jealous or fearful of him
then. For once in his life he wouldn’t have to be anyone’s
enemy. He wouldn’t have to be fighting anyone.
It
was not a Triumph, so the tenth Legion did not enter armed. Nor did
the banners fly, as the legion had been disbanded before they entered
Scamander’s gates. But everyone understood what was happening, and
the streets were still lined with citizens of all ages cheering on
their returned heroes. Young girls presented all the centurions and
marshals with garlands of flowers, because they were not allowed to
present them with laurel crowns. They kissed the men, young and old
alike, on the cheek and ran off before the men could give any
reaction. The legion still paraded in perfect ranks, though they
were only citizens on a stroll. Flowers rained from the rooftops and
windows. Not a soul in the city could have avoided the sound of
their elation. The one person they all expected to find, the one
person the Senate feared most would appear, was not seen. Marcellus
had snuck in secretly that night, dressed as a private citizen in
full accordance to the Senate’s decree. He watched his Legion with
pride. It hadn’t been their fault. They had fought with courage
and faith. They deserved this Triumph, after so many years of the
cold, long marches and short rations. He alone could not show his
face to Scamander’s citizens. So he watched from the crowd, until
Fabius ended the parade at the feet of the Assembly.
In
a dead silence, the crowd awaited the exchange between the marshal
and the Senate. Not many people understood why
this moment was so
tense. They only had a strange feeling that today was dangerous.
That a great clash of powers was happening, a danger to the entire
Republic. Which made no sense, because the whole point of the
Triumph is that the danger had finally been put to rest. Marcellus
understood the danger. Maximus had wielded such authority that the
Senate had not dared to defy his will. The people had sided with
Maximus, though they did not realize they had. If Maximus had wanted
to rule instead of to conquer. . . .The Senate could not be sure of
Marcellus’ allegiance, as Maximus’ appointed heir. Had Maximus
intended for Marcellus to take the crown he had denied himself? Did
Marcellus intend to use this Triumph to place himself as something
beyond the law? Marcellus shook his head regretfully. Maximus had
gone too far.
Sometimes a person could be too great for his time. But never, not
once, had he or anyone else plotted against the Republic. Maximus
was too possessed by his Vision to let anything stand in his way. He
had not intended to disobey the Senate. Marcellus believed that to
his core. His love for Maximus and his love for the Republic were
both valid. They had to be, or else he would consign himself to the
crucifix as a traitor to the State this very day. His soul Illyria
could claim, but his honor and his pride remained. It was the last
thing he held. The last worth his life had. Any death was better
than losing the value of his life.
“The
Senate greets you in the name of all Illyria.” The Senator
emphasized. “You are welcome back as citizens of our city. As
heroes.” Not
legionnaires.
Fabius
bowed gracefully. “And we return to Scamander as fathers,
husbands, and sons. As citizens of our great Republic, and as
worshippers of our great Goddess. Our loyalty has always been and
will always be to Illyria.” Marcellus and Fabius had worked that
speech out days before they had even seen Scamander’s walls.
After
a long hush, the city broke out into redoubled jubilation. Whatever
danger they had sensed, it was now past. Some fear that played at
the corner of their eyes had suddenly vanished, and the wave of
relief filled the entire crowd with euphoria. Marcellus marveled at
how the entire world could have changed had Fabius said something
else. How one single decision could shake the pillars of heaven and
the depths of hell. No
one should have that kind of power. No one person should ever have
the power to change the world. It is usurping the role of the Gods.
Marcellus left the
crowd, the only person wrapped in a gloomy silence, and headed back
for home. The empty and silent cobblestone streets felt like the
fitting homage Scamander paid to its greatest Consul.
Lydra
laughed in response, the entire family gathered in couches around the
dinner table. It was the first time they had all been together in
three years. She had counted every day.
“But
how could the city have been so prepared? How could they have found
all those flowers in just a day before the Legion arrived?”
Marcellus asked in bemusement.
“We
knew the very same day you fought, Papa.” Marcus piped up
enthusiastically. “I calculated it back, and it matches the very
same day you had the battle!”
“Calculated
what?” Marcellus asked. The boy was so happy to say the words
that he’d left them bereft of meaning.
“The
voice!” He exclaimed. “A voice came from the sky, like the
ringing of a great bell. The whole city heard it. It said that we
didn’t have to worry anymore because the Legion had won a great
victory and soon you’d all come home. On the very same day you
won!” He seemed anxious to repeat that, to make sure he
understood.
Marcellus
looked at Lydra, who nodded in affirmation. Whether or not it was
true, Marcellus would not venture to guess. But he believed it was
true, and why steal away a child’s belief in miracles, if there was
even the slightest possibility that they were real? Marcellus gave
Marcus a smile of approval. “Well that will be something
remarkable for all the histories.” Marcus laughed and agreed.
“Marcus
has been studying Carian, father.” Jania said supportively. “He’s
going to be a poet. Show father your poem, Marcus!”
Marcus
blushed, trying to sink under the table. Soon the entire family was
shouting at him to recite his poem, and Marcus gave in, striking a
pose worthy of a bard.
“Ahem.”
He coughed, bringing silence to his crowd of four.
“Three Goddesses watch at
Heaven’s door.
First came Datia,
with air to breathe and water to drink.
Next came Necia, with
earth to hold and fire to rule.
Last
came Illyria, to seed the world with life.”
Marcus paused for dramatic
effect.
“Three Demons prowl at
Hell’s gate.
First came
Zakine, with suffering and death.
Next came Sheole,
to rend the human soul.
Last came Mahara,
with greed and war.”
Marcus paused again, the
audience hanging on his every breath.
“Who shall we embrace?
Whose gifts do we enjoy?
The treasures of life and of
death, how much we love them twain!
But I? I will choose the songs
of death’s bane.”
Lydra and Jania, who had heard
it all before, gave hearty cheer. Publius voiced his approval with
the greatest zeal. Marcellus could only sit dumbstruck, wonder in
his eyes. Where did
the son I left behind go? Where was that mischievous Marcus? That
little boy he had hugged and dandled on his knee? Everyone
looked at Marcellus in expectation, Marcus most of all.
“Is
this what the Carians teach you?” Marcellus finally asked.
“Mm.”
Marcus nodded, smiling hopefully.
“Then
Caria must know a lot.” Marcellus remarked. And Marcus screamed
with glee. In a moment the boy was in his arms, and all the years
slipped away and he was the son Marcellus had always loved and known.
“You’ll
let me join the Academy?” He begged. “You’ll let me go to
Caria?”
Marcellus
laughed. “Isn’t that a little early to be asking?”
Marcus
gave a little frown. “I want to know now, in case you leave for
good next time.” Marcellus looked in shock into his son’s eyes.
He didn’t mean it.
He didn’t mean it to hurt.
“I
won’t leave again.” Marcellus said. Stroking his son’s hair
and holding him tight. “The war is over. I won’t have to leave
you ever again.”
And
Marcus nodded in understanding. Because Father never lied. When he
said something, you could believe him because it was true. Marcus
tried to bite back a tear.
Marcellus
touched the drop on his cheek tenderly. “But why do you cry?”
Marcus
sniffed. “I know it’s stupid,” he answered. “But I’m
just so happy they won’t stop.”
After that Marcellus decided
he would never fight again.
Chapter 3.
Lydra lay in bed, idly tracing
the scar that ran across her husband’s breast. The contours of
their bodies had slid into one another with such natural ease that
any doubts of unfaithfulness melted away. They lay together as two
parts of a whole, as if they’d been together only last night and
not three years ago. She wasn’t really aware of the world around
her, but rather floating in a cloud of happiness that excluded
anything else. Nothing mattered anymore, because everything was
exactly as it should be.
“No new scars.” She
mused.
Marcellus lay still, his eyes
gazing at the ceiling or perhaps something further off. “No. For
Publius or me. I brought us back safe.” Lydra knew how much
satisfaction he got out of being able to say those words to her. And
how much she got to hear them.
“Tell me how you got this
one.” She said, her fingertips tracing the long line across his
breast and waist.
“You know how I got it.”
He answered, a slight trembling in his body of laughter that she
instantly felt. It was like they were communicating in a truer way
than words, when they slept together.
“Tell me again. I like it
when you tell me.”
“Maximus heard of an
especially fierce Ogre tribe, the Anembrones, and decided if he could
crush them all the Ogres who still thought to resist us would
surrender out of fear. Consuls have been arguing about it since the
beginning of time—does military strategy involve striking at the
strongest or the weakest point in the enemy line? You’d think they
could figure it out by now, but both strategies seem to work just as
well. Of course Maximus struck the strongest, he always went after
the strongest and fiercest battles he could find. That was his
nature. I was just a legionnaire then, but I decided that night to
find the Anembrone camp and steal all their horses. Their war
leaders would ride these massive horses and look like some Giants
from the dawntime, and I figured that without those horses the Ogres
wouldn’t be quite so brave or fearsome.” Marcellus looked at the
ceiling, trying to remember what it was like in those days when he
was so young. What kinds of things made a person take such suicidal
risks. Idealism, of course. Ambition. Admiration for his Consul.
Invincibility.
“It
went well at first. I’d covered myself with dried mud so as to
blend in with the night. The dogs didn’t smell me that way,
either. Ogres don’t post sentries or build encampments, but rely
on these fierce dogs to sound the warning. Large enough to tear out
a man’s throat without standing on two legs. I cut the horses’
tethers and coaxed them with carrots I found nearby. For all I knew
these horses ate flesh, but I figured the carrots had to be there for
some reason.
Then a horse nearby whinnied in distress that it wasn’t getting
any carrots, and then all the dogs started barking and howling. So I
hit the horses with the flat of my blade and shouted at them to send
them running. I guess it would have been intelligent to ride
one of the horses,
but I’d never ridden a horse before and it never occurred to me.”
Lydra
started laughing appreciatively.
“Instead
I ran into the forest, the dogs on my heels and the Ogres just
waking. I thought maybe I could climb a tree, but then the Ogres
would bring me down. And then I remembered dogs didn’t like water.
At least, not being submerged in it. So I made for the river, with
the idea that I could float downstream until I reached the Legion.
Unfortunately, some of the Ogres were coming up from the river from
fishing. They spear their fish. So behind me were these huge dogs,
and in front of me a bunch of Anembrones with spears. I figured the
Ogres were easier, and just charged headlong. Really I just wanted
to get to the river. But they were fast, even surprised. The Ogre
dodged my swing and stabbed for my throat. I dodged, straight into
another spear that sliced like so—“ He cupped his hand over hers
and ran it down his body.
“I was running so fast I
staggered straight into the river. I plunged headlong and started
floating away. I think the Ogres found it so funny they went back to
camp without another worry. I should have died then, but the mud
packed the wound and kept the bleeding down. I knew I had to get out
of the river before I passed out and drowned. I saw the light of
torches and thought maybe it was the Legion, and swam onto the
riverbank.”
“I
lay there dying for a while, when I saw this beautiful girl with a
jar on her head. Come to fetch water. I thought it was Illyria
guiding me to heaven.”
“And
I saw this strange man caked with mud and blood. A mysterious
stranger as if by fate delivered into my arms.” Lydra answered.
She kissed his shoulder and snuggled beside him again.
“She
took me to the village, but they were afraid to help me. The
Anembrones would destroy any Ogres caught aiding the legions. They
told her to throw him back into the river. But she didn’t.
Instead she took him to an old hut. A special place she’d found
while a child exploring the woods. And every day she tended to him
as best she could, bringing food and water and bandages and most of
all her company and warmth. Most of all she brought herself, the new
reason I’d found to stay alive. And every time I saw her, I fell
in love all over again.”
“A
month later Maximus found the village, having crushed the Anembrones
and now sweeping the resistance of all the lesser tribes. He would
have put the tribe to the sword, but he found me. Maximus marveled
at my survival and asked me where I had been. I told him of my
attempt to steal the horses and he laughed like a father listening to
his foolish son. It turned out I had
scared their horses away. And for thanks to the village for tending
to me, he promised that the tribe would never have to pay tribute to
Illyria for the rest of time.”
“And
when you left, I left with you.” She replied. “I loved you when
you were a helpless enemy. I married you when you were just a
foolhardy legionnaire. And now a Consul.” She breathed. “And
now a consul and the father of three wonderful children.”
“Marcus
has grown so much.” Marcellus marveled. “When I left him, he
wasn’t anything. Now look at him. So full of dreams and
potential. He’s found a purpose in life. A goal.”
“He
missed you most of all.” She said. “When he heard a Carian
promising a release from pain, he listened to him days at a time.
And the funny thing is, I think he found it. The Carian really had
given him a release.”
“They’re
a shifty lot. Mercenaries with no particular allegiance to Illyria.
Of course they are a part of the Republic, but sometimes I think they
think that they are
the rulers and we
are the followers.”
“Marcus
thinks they are very wise.”
“He
may be right. I listened to them as a child too, before I joined the
Legion.”
“I’m
glad you approve. I didn’t say anything because he was so much
happier.”
Marcellus
changed the subject. “What about Jania? She was quiet today.”
“You
noticed? Jania is in love. She’s been waiting for you to come
home, so she could marry him. But she could hardly say that when we
were supposed to be celebrating your victory.”
“In
love? My little Jania?”
“She’s
older than many married girls, Marcellus. Time passes while you’re
away.”
“With
whom?” Marcellus rolled onto his elbow to look her in the eye.
“She
wants you to meet him.” She smiled mysteriously. “She wants
your blessing.”
Marcellus
rolled back beside her, giving a long exhalation. “My little
Jania.”
“We
could always have another girl, if it aches your heart so much.”
Lydra teased.
“Gods
no! Three is enough trouble for any man.” He tried to hide the
truth by making it a jest.
“There
was
a distance between you and Publius.” Lydra said. She always saw
through him. Bad liars made the best husbands. “Did something
happen out there?”
“I
don’t know what to do, Lydra.” Marcellus confessed with a long
exhalation. “He wants to be just like me. He wants to raid Ogre
camps in the night and fight ten men at once and die as many times as
I should have. How can I persuade him that he shouldn’t, when I
myself at his age was being as foolish? I can’t say anything
without being a hypocrite. If you ever do anything wrong in your
life, it is enough to strip you of any moral authority you have to
say what is right. All the wisdom of age is useless if you did not
heed it as a youth. It’s too late to redeem your self in age,
because nothing changes the fact of your past mistakes. All he has
to do is point out the contradiction in my words now and my actions
then, and I’m bereft of speech. It’s like I’m arguing with my
younger self, with him.”
“It’ll
all work out.” Lydra comforted, kissing him. “As long as you
love each other, nothing can come between you. The only problem is
that you love each other too much. And you’re both too stubborn to
admit it.”
“The
patricians have invited me to a celebration for my victory. I turned
them down, but I’ll go if that’s where I’ll find Jania’s
courtier.” He decided.
“I’m
sure he’ll be there. He wants to meet you too.”
“Have
you met this man?” Marcellus asked.
“Of
course. Try not to scare this one away, my sweet. She has to marry
someone,
you know.”
“I’ll
try.” Marcellus laughed, kissing her on the lips to seal the
promise. Then he kissed her throat, her eyelids, her ear. Lydra
laughed and started kissing him back. They had dreamed of this night
for the last three years.
“You’re
going to be late.” Lydra murmured in his ear. Marcellus didn’t
need to open his eyes to see her. His head lay upon her bosom, his
arm around her waist, and her hands stroked their way lovingly
through his hair. His head rose and fell with her breath, as though
he had found himself on the gentlest and softest and warmest sea
under the sun. The waves rocked him back and forth, but only to lull
him into a deeper comfort than any solid land could have provided.
He had not forgotten this feeling in the rough and scarce winter
camps, but it was a memory so different from his life that it had
seemed like a dream. There was no way he had a wife this beautiful
and wonderful waiting for him back home. There was no way he had two
perfect children back home. Marching through the northern winter
with only hardship and danger for company, Marcellus had not been
sure his memories of life at home could realistically be anything
more than fantasy. Now he was living the dream. And the cursed
patricians with their cursed jabbering could just wait until he
wanted to wake up.
Lydra
could feel Marcellus’ body forcing itself back into loose
relaxation, and shook in quiet laughter. Which of course Marcellus
instantly felt and only smiled in recognition that he was
being silly and she
was right
but he just couldn’t bear to admit it yet. It was a level of
communication Marcellus had never known until he met her. She was
the only person he could have an entire conversation with without a
word. Illyria’s blessing. There was no better reason to believe
in the Goddess, because his good fortune could only be explained by
the intervention of one.
Lydra
kissed the top of his head nestled on her bosom. “Come on, love.
I thought the Legion taught men to wake up in the morning.”
Marcellus
turned his head to meet bright blue eyes with common southern brown.
“A bad habit I thought to be rid of.” He smiled winningly as she
used her hands to stroke his hair into order.
“I
suppose you think eating right and exercising are more habits that
need forgetting?”
“Any
habit that takes me away from you has to be bad.” He didn’t try
to explain that this was the first night in a month he hadn’t been
plagued by nightmares. Pain was best left forgotten.
Lydra
smiled. “Then you have a lot of habits to forget.”
Marcellus
stretched in place, old joints finding their way back into some
semblance of a natural position. The pain was so customary that he
no longer really felt it. “This boy had better be worth it.”
Marcellus warned. He looked out the window to see the sun winding
its lazy course through a clear blue sky. It was one of those days
it was a sin not to enjoy. He didn’t feel like eating. Eating
fogged up the mind. If he was going to find a husband for his
daughter, he would have his mind whetted sharp with hunger. He
would be like a shark with the smell of blood. Like the lion lean
from the winter months, eyes mad with the desire to hunt down the
stag.
He
fetched his cloak and threw it around his shoulders to trap the heat
of the house with him as he went into the city. It wasn’t all that
cold, but he wanted to be warm enough that the scars didn’t act up
on him. He was going to battle, and one must never show weakness to
the enemy. People in the streets wisely made way from his gloomy
face. He was actually happy with the morning and the festive
atmosphere, but he couldn’t help but fall into a grim
determination. It was the mindset he wore like a second skin going
into battle, he couldn’t have abandoned it if he’d wanted to.
He’d learned to expect the worst in battle, because confidence was
a Consul’s worst foe. Jania had probably met a slick, oily,
slippery eel from Caria. He probably wandered from town to town with
no goals or means in life, his tongue slipping him into one girl’s
bed from the next. Of course he knew Jania would not have loved such
a man, but just the thought of it put a gloomy mask on his face that
stormed like a thunderhead to the sumptuous garden estates of the
wealthy patricians.
Slaves
waited at the gates to invite guests and chase off people looking for
a free meal. Most of the guests were being checked against a list,
but none dared stop Marcellus from walking in unchallenged. If there
hadn’t been an opening in the gate, it seemed, Marcellus would have
walked through it. He hated these people. They sucked the
countryside dry of all its abundance until they had more wealth than
they could manage to waste on themselves. They had to invent new
forms of luxuriant effeminacy simply to have something to do in life.
They looked like squishy slugs lying on their couches, fat mouths
filling fat bellies with wine and sweets. They accomplished nothing,
living only due to their titles and holdings that seemed to increase
of their own will. It made him sick that his legion fought to
protect them. They undercut freemen with their slaves and debtors,
until the freemen could no longer afford to compete with the great
holdings of the patricians and were forced to sell their land or
themselves to make up the debt of simply trying to make a living.
Each enslaved freeman then became a part of the evil that went on to
crush the next. It was impossible that good men who worked hard all
their lives couldn’t afford to feed their families. But the
patricians had worked hard to make it this way, so their affluence
could wax while Illyria’s backbone pined away in servitude. The
race of a Goddess! He
thought in fury. Descendants
of Illyria, living as slaves! It
was unforgivable. It shamed the Goddess, it shamed the Republic, and
worst of all it shamed all Illyrians who were willing to watch
placidly their own kinsmen thrown into chains. If the Goddess’ own
children were stripped of their dignity, who could feel safe? What
would stop the Patricians from buying out Senate seats, or corrupting
the Knights? What would stop these fat worms from burrowing through
all the tissues and organs of the State, filling themselves with the
blood of its victims? Marcellus hadn’t had time to notice or care
about the going-ons of Scamander when all of Illyria was threatened
by violent destruction. But he wondered how many people had followed
the same path. If
all the good men left to the frontiers to protect Illyria’s heart,
who was left to be
Illyria’s heart
but the black refuse that had not dared to raise their heads before?
What use to fight
for an Illyria that abandoned the Goddess and became something worse
than barbaric? No. Scamander could not be left to these men. He
would not leave his wife and children at the mercy of these men.
A
calm resolve washed over Marcellus as he stood gazing at the festive
nobles. I see you
now. As long as I was gone, you managed to escape justice. But I am
here now. And I will not give you Scamander. Thoughts
began churning in the back of his mind, plans he did not even
understand taking shape. But before he could sink into thought the
Patricians had noticed him and come flocking to his side.
“Welcome,
friend!” A large Senator shouted. “Welcome to my home. This is
a great surprise. My servants told me you had declined to show. But
then, what else can you expect from servants?” The rest of the
crowd laughed fawningly.
“Your
servants said truly.” Marcellus answered tonelessly. “I changed
my mind last night.”
“Ah,
well.” The Senator waved it off dismissively. “Was there
anything in particular you wished to see? Anyone you’d like to
meet? I assure you everyone here is watching you out of the corner
of their eyes for the chance to meet you. Is it true that you killed
forty thousand Ogres in a single hour? Not even Maximus has had such
a victo—“
“I’m
not a Consul anymore.” Marcellus broke in quickly. “The war is
over.” He fought to keep a blank face. These men did not deserve
to see the pain that was gripping his heart. They did not deserve to
see the soulfire raging behind his eyes, to know his true self in any
way. He would feel polluted if any of them knew him deeper than his
face.
The
Senator coughed, not sure what to do with a person who refused the
proper courtesies. “Of course. Of course the war is over. This
is a feast in celebration of that very thing, is it not?” He gave
a nervous chuckle in fear that Marcellus planned to catch him in a
lie. Marcellus remained staring at him blankly. “Yes, well, you
must excuse me. I must see—“ The Senator looked around for an
escape. “I must see to the wine. Who knows what vintage my
servants will try to serve?” The crowd seemed to wash away from
Marcellus with equal speed.
Marcellus
took a long, shuddering breath. He couldn’t get the image of
blue-eyed children standing as the only warriors left brave enough to
hold their arms. They
knew they were dead. They already knew they were dead. Their eyes
were dilated with the terror, their entire bodies shaking with it.
Why did they have to die? O Illyria! Why did I refuse to heed you?
Why did I have to kill them? Marcellus
stumbled to the grass, knowing he should not have come. This was a
feast in celebration of butchery. To come here was to take pride in
what he’d done. It was to receive praise for it. It was a
betrayal of himself and those children, to have come here.
“Are
you well, sir?” A clean voice came from above him. A man stood
with two friends, his skin the color of finely powdered nutmeg. He
offered his hand to help Marcellus up. Marcellus looked at his
benefactor, the thin strong body of a man used to action, and clasped
his wrist.
“Forgive
me for asking,” The youth said, “but you don’t seem to fit in
with your surroundings.”
“I
am called Marcellus.” He answered the unspoken question. “You
hardly seem to be a native yourself.”
The
youth nodded in recognition, but not obsequiousness. Marcellus
instantly took a liking to the boy. “My name is Jacob son of
Myrrh. It is an honor to meet you, sir. And as to this—“ Jacob
sent his hand fluttering to indicate the garden, “It is a part of
my job I am hardly fond of.”
“And
what is your job, son of a woman?” Marcellus asked pointedly.
Jacob
smiled, showing a line of white teeth. “Yes, well, the world can
be sure I am my mother’s son. But as to the father?” Jacob
shook his head. “Who can know what seed grows in a woman’s
womb?”
“Your
women are that untrustworthy?” Marcellus jabbed. He supposed the
boy hardly deserved the anger Marcellus felt for himself, but that
did not stop him from venting it.
Jacob
widened his smile. “I only wish our women were as noble and pure
as your own.” He made no gesture to the lazing and laughing women
around them, but his doing so seemed to highlight them all the more.
Marcellus
smiled back to a worthy opponent. “Is bandying words with your
elders another regrettable part of your job, Jacob son of Myrrh?”
Jacob
laughed. “A merchant’s words are his sharpest weapons. I fight
with them to keep these bloodsuckers from stealing the whole of the
goods I come to trade with, and I fight with them against any man who
takes my wrist only so that he can scorn my people.”
Marcellus
nodded, eyeing Jacob once more with weighing scales. “You believe
Illyria’s tariffs bloodsucking? What is the term for merchants who
pour luxury and indolence and effeminacy into our shores?”
“What
is the term for a Consul who slaughters forty-thousand men, women,
and children because they wanted to retain the land and freedom of
their ancestors?”
Marcellus
blinked, the blow taking him completely by surprise. How
dare this boy--? What did he know of--? Then
he watched Jacob’s hard unwavering stare with a new wariness. This
man was a leopard. He had a quiet anger, a cold, quiet anger raging
in those charcoal eyes. And for every sally Marcellus took, he would
strike back with equal strength. Jacob was not attempting to hurt
him with his words. He was showing that he would not take insult
lying down. He was refusing to be hurt.
“The
term for such a Consul is a hero.” Marcellus finally answered.
“Because he had the courage to protect the children of Illyria at
the price of his own soul.”
Jacob
answered in like kind. “The term for such a merchant is a saint,
for his entire life he works to provide happiness to others.”
“You
equate happiness with pleasure?”
“Look
around you, sir. How much of this is yours?” Jacob asked coldly.
“You have fine wine, I will grant you. The finest glass. Feats of
engineering. But how much of Illyria’s greatness is her own?
Lucia gives you the strong horses, Mania your iron and tin, Caria
your statues and paintings and books and schools. Necia invented the
triremes that Illyria sails, our mariners learned the skills that
tamed the sea. We invented the written language you use. Our wheat
and corn feeds your people. Oh yes, you have farmers, but do you
think your farmers feed Scamander’s million every day? The silk
and fine wool is from Datia. Lucia crafts the finest armour and
swords. The powders and perfumes that make your women sweet are
Leucadia’s. The spices and preservatives that make your meals
sweet as well. Necia makes the paper your nation is built upon,
though your laws are chiseled in stone. And Caria, I’m afraid,
gives you the oil for your lanterns and cookfires and the heating of
your homes. Each person has a greatness, Marcellus, just as each
nation does. But each person alone burns shortly before nature’s
hand snuffs them out. It is a weaver’s job, to connect thread to
thread, until tiny wisps come together to form the strong cloth you
wear. It is a merchant’s job, Marcellus, to connect fire to fire,
each nation’s greatness adding new strength to the other. It is a
merchant’s job to be a citizen of the world. We are the
fireweavers who give humanity their greatness. We are the men who
free the Goddesses’ children from the brutish, animal life of the
Jinni, the Ogres, and the Centaurs. We are the tenders of the sacred
flame, and without us Illyria and Necia and Datia would all burn
away, nothing but dust in the wind.” Jacob’s cold voice had
reached a controlled fervency that could not conceal the depth of
belief he had in his words.
Why
would this boy reveal his heart to me? Marcellus
wondered. He has
just stripped naked before me. This is his soul he has allowed me to
judge, his reason for living. He has shown me the value of his life,
his honor and pride. This is not what one shows a stranger. And
then something clicked in his mind, and Marcellus gave a slight
chuckle in appreciation.
“When
did you meet?” He asked lightly.
Jacob
blinked, a warm smile curving around his lips. The smile one gave to
a friend, not an enemy. “She had come to buy perfume at the
market. I had never seen her like. Sun-bleached hair and bright
blue eyes, the color of an ice-sheathed sky. It was the face of a
beauty divine.”
“I
thought as much when I saw her mother. When I see my wife even now.”
Marcellus shared. “I married into a race of angels.”
Jacob
looked hesitantly at the scarred, bluff man. “You will forgive me,
sir, for the deception. I saw you here, and I came to talk to you
because I love your daughter. I knew who you were the moment I saw
you.”
“Nothing
you said was a lie.” Marcellus replied. “Or else I would not be
talking to you now. I would not give Jania to a slick tongue. But I
would to a bright and clever man who uses it to fight for the things
he loves.” I only
wish I could have fought the same.
Jacob
nodded. “We don’t name ourselves after our mothers as a joke,
either. Necians don’t like sharing the truth with foreigners, but
I trust you with it. By naming ourselves after our mothers, we
honour Necia as the mother of us all.”
Marcellus
nodded. “Then I am glad to know my son is a pious man.”
Chapter 4.
Scamander’s
streets took on a ruddy glow from the setting sun. Marcellus paused
a moment to appreciate them, because today he was ready to feel happy
about everything. The streets were wide enough to allow four wagons
to pass each other at once, wide enough to parade a legion on the
march. The edges of the streets dipped into gutters, where an
incredibly complex aqueduct system sent runoff from the hills to
clear off all the waste and wash the city clean each night. Palaces
and temples lined the street, a line of architecture that spoke of
Illyria’s wealth and glory. Some people resented the buildings as
wasteful of the public treasury. Marcellus didn’t agree. These
buildings were solid structures, works of stone that were meant to
stand for all time. They were monuments to the Goddess and her
people, so that Scamander could look upon them with a sense of
reverence and pride. So long as Illyria stood, these temples would
remain. And so long as these temples remained, Illyria would never
forget the blessing that their lives were within the Goddess’
bosom, and not the icy frontiers of humanity. A young boy would look
upon these temples and be filled with love for his city. He would
fight to protect Illyria because of the bright and beautiful city he
remembered no matter how long it had been since he had last gazed
upon it. Art was divine, and it evoked the divine of the human
spirit. He only wished gold would always serve to evoke the goodness
within people.
“You
look like you’re walking in a dream.” Fabius said cajolingly.
Marcellus shook his head, trying to remember where he was and what he
was doing. Old age wasn’t satisfied with making his body suffer,
it had to make his mind slower and stiffer as well.
“I
was just thinking.” He said. “That Maximus was a great man for
the republic. The wealth of this street could never have happened
without his virtual doubling of the state.”
“Too
much wealth from others makes for too many people with no reason to
seek wealth of their own.”
“I
know, old friend. Every day the patricians find new ways to distract
and please the mob. Circuses and plays and music and performances,
they come and go and are forgotten as though they’d never happened.
But these buildings. This street. This is real. This is solid.
This is the wealth of our city, the wealth that will shine forever.”
“The
people respect you, Marcellus, but sometimes they fear having to live
up to you. If you become the tribune, they mutter, all of Scamander
would have to align itself to virtue. They all know you would do
them good, but none of them want to abandon their pet pleasures for
it.”
“I
trust them, Fabius. I trust they will do the right thing. Illyria’s
children are not like Datia’s. I’ve seen our Legions marching
and camping and fighting year after year, decade after decade,
without a single complaint. That sort of virtue does not end at
Scamander’s gates. It is in all Illyria. Because Illyria is in
all of us.”
“I
hope you’re right.” Fabius said, sounding none too sure.
“But
enough of politics for today. Today my little Jania is to be wed. I
will not let politics own this day.”
“Your
little Jania.” Fabius laughed. “When will she be older than ten
in your eyes?”
“Never.”
Marcellus said, smiling. “She can never be older than ten. I
won’t permit it.” The ceremony was supposed to start with the
setting sun, and was located outside the city a fair ways. If they
wished to reach the wedding, Marcellus couldn’t stare off into
space or talk politics much longer. Scamander lay in a valley ringed
by hills, the natural barriers of sea and earth allowing even the
blindest eye to see a potential city. But even their founders could
not have known how great that potential was. Marcellus shook his
head again. Would
you stop going off on tangents? Are you going to see your daughter
wed or not? He
just hated to think that he was really going to give his daughter
into another house. Maybe if he just stood here, it wouldn’t
happen. Maybe time would freeze so long as he stood here. It seemed
like his best plan all day.
“Cold
feet, and you not even the groom?” Fabius laughed, pushing him a
step forward. Marcellus shot him a glare, but at least he was
walking again. There were still thousands of people making their way
through the streets, but he felt like they were the only ones there.
Who else was walking
to their daughter’s wedding? Putting
another foot in front of the first, he refused to keep thinking. He
hadn’t been this nervous when he’d been the first assailant up
the west wall of Taigin. Marcellus had somehow made it to the top,
and killed five men in a row to keep that foothold before the next
man on the ladder came up beside him. That was child’s play
compared to this. He was afraid the butterflies in his belly would
break something, they were flying around so fiercely. He didn’t
even know why he was nervous. It just seemed like something was
horribly dangerous waiting for him at the stream-fed orange orchard
where the bridal torch burned above the glassy winter chalice.
Something was waiting there, lurking, ready to steal away his
daughter from him. His little Jania, the sound of the flute or her
singing never again to greet the morning sun. No more blankets woven
with flowers and birds would reach him in the winter camps of Mania,
so that the whole Legion roared in laughter and Marcellus hid his
face for days in shame. How could he let anyone take her away? That
blue-eyed reflection of the Lydra he had met so long ago? How had he
ever allowed it? And yet he continued walking forward. He had never
turned his back in a fight, even the times when everyone around him
had. Even when he was surrounded by Ogres and his whole wing
collapsed behind him, and only Fabius’ quick relief had saved
Maximus from defeat. His courage could not fail once, not ever, if
he meant to believe he had ever been a courageous man. All it took
to be a coward was to falter once. After that, it was only a
question of how much a coward one was. He refused to have to answer
that question. As black as his soul was, at least it would not be
yellow. He had to have a virtue stand. He’d lost piety. He’d
lost wisdom. He had to keep something, if he wanted to look himself
in the mirror for the rest of his years.
The
two exited Scamander’s walls and began the trek up the hillside.
Other old men might have had a problem with the hike, but the
seasoned veterans hardly lost a stride or a breath. They had marched
too many thousand miles for a hill to reach their legs’ notice. It
was a beautiful sight, the sun emerging from beneath the hill. The
sun had already set on the city, but at the top of the hill it still
clung brilliantly to the horizon. Clouds soaked up the light of the
bleeding sun like sponges, turning gold and orange and purple with
the rainbow dye. And on the far side of the hill, out of Scamander’s
view and alongside a downward hurtling stream, stood the congregation
of family and friends. Publius gave his father a nod of recognition
from below, his Legion giving him leave to attend the wedding.
Marcus waved as well, released from his studies at the Academy.
A small waterfall splashed
behind Jania and Jacob, itself shining with sunfed drops of red and
gold. Bare winter branches were bedecked with ribbons of yellow and
orange silk, giving the look of leaves fluttering in the wind if one
didn’t look too closely. Where the trees did not afford adornment,
long poles were erected and covered with ribbons and lanterns. When
the sun set, symbolizing the end of the old, those lanterns would
spark to life, giving off the bright fresh light of the new.
Marcellus exhaled sharply with the beauty of it. Lydra hadn’t let
a hint out of her preparations, as it was the mother’s job to see
her daughter off. But she must have been working at them ever since
the date had been set three months ago. The pale hair of her
daughter hung in short wisps, a tiny smile on her face that she did
not seem to know was there and a garland of flowers crowning her
head. The long lock of blonde hair lay at a wooden stake nearby, the
virgin’s gift to the Goddess in remembrance of her wedding to the
men of the dawntime. Jacob stood so still Marcellus could not be
sure he was still alive or petrified stone. He looked afraid that
his slightest motion would break something. The poor boy, he still
didn’t know how a wedding was done in Illyria. It was an ill omen,
for a boy to have a part in the planning of his wedding. The Goddess
might not give her blessings to the overproud. Marcellus knew that
feeling. All he had wanted was for the wedding to end, so that he
could escape all those eyes and lay with the woman he loved. Every
wedding was the triumphal torture of a man’s life by women. But he
couldn’t have imagined it any other way.
The
priest stood atop his altar, steaming blood covering his hands as he
carefully sacrificed the bull to the Goddess. Marcellus thought it a
waste of a good bull no Goddess
would have any use for, but he could never have said it. If the
priests were not needed to make sacrifices, then there would be no
more priests. Which the priests were decidedly against. So it was
no wonder they treated any questioning of their rituals as heresy
against the Goddess herself. It was almost funny, if not for the
thousands of sheep and bulls who were slaughtered so pointlessly. No
wonder Ogres were always stronger and larger than Illyrians. They
got to eat their
livestock. The priest carefully washed his hands off and set the
offering aflame. If the sacrifice had gone wrong in any particular,
he would have had to start over with another bull. There was the
tale of a priest once slaughtering a farmer’s whole herd through
the night before the wedding could proceed. Unfortunately, the bride
no longer wished to marry a farmer now penniless, and so the farmer
had went home bereft of livelihood and love. If Marcellus
remembered, the farmer had killed himself soon after, as a lesson to
any fool who married a woman whose eye rested on his flocks. A hard
lesson, but then Illyrians were a hard people.
Presently,
a flute began to play. And then another. Until a whole line of
maidens stepped forward with their sad song. The sun’s dying rays
glinted off those silver-chased reeds and eyes slitted with
concentration before finally escaping to the ether. The song was as
old as Illyria, the evening song that marked the passage of life into
death. The song played so long as any of the sun could be seen,
repeating itself time and again in a mournful cycle as if to coax the
sun to sleep. When the flutes had conquered the sky and stars began
to shine, the priest stepped forward between the bride and groom.
“The
day is dead, winter’s night embracing us with its icy fingers. Who
will brave this cold darkness?”
Jacob
watched silently. Everyone waited silently. A muffled cough came
from the crowd. A few whispers were heard before they were snuffed
out by stern looks. The priest looked at Jacob with a flustered
anger.
“Who
will brave this cold darkness?” He asked again.
Jacob
looked to his left and right, waiting for someone to do something.
Then he jumped with a look of horrified realization. He quickly
opened his mouth in fear that his answer was too late. “I will,
sir.”
The
priest nodded in relief, things falling back into place. “And who
will kindle tomorrow’s flame?”
Jania
stepped forward with perfect poise. “I will, father.”
“Take
your bride’s hand.” The priest ordered, and Jacob quickly
obeyed. “Do you pledge to love and honour this maiden? To protect
her from the demons’ gifts and provide her with the Goddess’
blessings?”
“With
all my heart yes.” He answered proudly, his voice anchored by the
strongest assurance he had in his entire life.
“And
do you pledge to love and honour this man? To bring him the joy of
the Goddess’ hearth and the comfort of a home free of demons’
gifts?”
“On
my soul, yes.” She said, gazing into Jacob’s eyes with sheer
bliss.
“Then
wrap this cloth around your wrists.” He recited gravely, passing
the red silk to Jacob’s free hand. Jacob almost dropped the cloth
out of nervousness, but he finally bound them together
satisfactorily.
“The
day is dead. Winter’s night holds us all in its icy embrace.”
The priest said. “But a new fire has been lit—“ And the
orchard erupted into lantern light that revealed the blowing ribbons
and sparkling waterfall once more. “And with Illyria’s blessing
the sun will rise again to greet it.” Lydra carefully took the
bridal torch and lowered it into the chalice. A hiss of smoke, and
the fire was gone. A man’s love finding its way into his wife’s
womb. The crowd gave out a great shout of cheer, and a line of
fiddlers broke out into a furiously paced song of joy in the row
opposite the flutists. The crowd began to break away into
spontaneous dancing, their shadows spinning about beneath the lantern
light. Jacob and Jania stood watching each other, deaf to the world.
They were content to remain standing there for the rest of time.
Marcellus
roughly wiped moisture from his eyes. The lantern’s smoke had
aggravated them, was all. His little Jania. His little Jania.
Chapter 5.
“The
streets are not safe today, father.” Marcus implored. “Please,
just stay with us. No one will think—“ Marcus realized that was
the worst thing he could have said to his father.
“Me
a coward.” Marcellus finished. “But I don’t care what other
people think, son. Because I will know myself for a coward. Because
I will be one, regardless of who thinks or knows what.”
“Courage
isn’t suicide!” Marcus shouted. Shouted! At his father!
“There is a plot against you. They will kill you today if you go
to the Hall! They will kill you if you even walk outside. Please,
father, by the grace of the Goddess we learned of this plot! How can
you still walk into their clutches like a blind man?”
“Even
if I knew I would die today—“ Marcellus shot his hand out to
stop Marcus’ interruption before it began. “Even if I knew, I
would walk to the Hall. If you don’t understand why yet, then you
don’t understand anything. I have been ready to die for Illyria
for the past thirty years. What is the difference now? Again,
Illyria is threatened with destruction. Again, I am willing to die
for it. How does it change which hand raises a dagger against me?
If no one is willing to risk his life for Illyria, Illyria isn’t
worth the breath used to speak it. Do you think this country will
stand for a minute, a second, if no one was willing to protect it?
Do you think anything valuable can be possessed without fighting for
it? All life is a war! Whether I stand inside this house or walk
into Scamander’s streets, I’m risking my life. And eventually
I’ll lose, one way or another. The only question is what I will
lose for.
You, Marcus? You, Lydra? My home? My cloak? It’s all dust!
Dust and air! Or I could fight for Justice. I could fight for
Freedom. I could fight for the safety of Illyria and the sanctity of
the Goddess. I will die, today or tomorrow. But I will not die for
dust! Not when I need only look upwards and witness the divine!”
“You
can’t die for anything!” Marcus railed. “You can only live
for it! Live for justice! Live for freedom! But what use will
justice or freedom have with your corpse? How will your worm-eaten
innards avail the Goddess or her people or your family or anything?
If you want to save this country, don’t let your pride, don’t let
your ego destroy
the one person who still has the chance to save it! There will be
other days and other times. As long as you’re alive, there is
hope. There is the potential for justice and freedom and virtue to
win the field! Who will the people turn to, with you dead? The mob
is of two minds, father. They respect you as the hero who saved
Illyria, but their eyes are turned by the bounty of free corn and
grain and circuses and parades. You have a city full of good people
who know the Good when they see it, but whose eyes are shrouded with
sloth and luxury. When there is no more goodness for them to look
to, all they will ever see is Mahara and Sheole. You will have
abandoned them to the Demons, father, all so that your pride can be
satisfied as to your own insane standards of courage!”
“If
I let them determine my actions even once, what’s to stop them from
ruling me with fear and violence from then on? If the enemy ever
knows I’m weak, if they ever believe I can be enslaved, then they
will devour me like buzzards that spy a wounded man. If evil is ever
seen to profit them, what will stop them from embracing it at its
deepest roots? No longer will they threaten me for taking to the
streets. They will threaten you,
son. They will threaten my wife. My daughter. They will threaten
everything I hold dear and they will do anything imaginable because
they know I’m too much of a coward to stop them. I must show them
now,
this very day, before they’ve become Mahara’s dogs, that nothing
they can do can ever stop a good man from doing the right thing.
Nothing can enslave a man who chooses to be free. And if they think
their daggers will keep me from making my speech at the Hall, then
they will learn what it means for their soft cityfolk to face a
Legionnaire.” Marcellus strapped on his sword, pulling his cloak
over it so that none could have told.
Marcus
dropped onto his knees, grabbing for Marcellus’ hands. Marcellus
nimbly jumped back, not letting the suppliant’s touch reach him.
Marcus lay there on the carpet, his hands outstretched, like a broken
puppet. And cried. Marcellus remembered something Lydra had told
him those months ago—“He
missed you most of all.”
He watched his son’s body quake with sobs, and felt more
helplessly weak than he had known possible. Here
lays my son crying, and there is nothing I can do. A
great red fire started somewhere in his guts. It dimmed out his
vision and filled it with a wordless rage. They
dare! They dare to turn me against my son!
I—will—never—forgive—them! He
had only known contempt for the patricians until this day. The
hatred he felt now was searing his bones, shooting through his every
muscle. He wanted to rip each of their throats out one by one. He
wanted to carve their corpses apart and throw them into the sea to be
devoured by sharks. He wanted to marshal the Legion and go on a hunt
that would soak this city with the blood of his foes!
“Marcellus!”
Lydra cried out, terrified at what she saw in his eyes. And her
voice came as a bucket of ice water over his head. He shivered,
feeling the anger throb away. He shivered to know what he had been
capable of doing. Illyria,
Illyria, the darkness of my soul! He
rubbed his head, which felt of fever. Sheole’s greatest power was
to bring out the evil in others. He would not let it reach him. He
would not let them bring out the worst in him. He would not fight
their evil with evil yet greater, in an ascending spiral. He would
meet them with good, or else this fight would mean Illyria’s loss
whoever the winner. If only his soul had the strength to be good. I
am the Goddess’ champion,
he laughed inwardly, and
she knows me to be her blackest sinner. But
someone had to fight. No one else dared run for tribune after this.
He could not just recognize his sin and not redeem it. Forty
thousand people lay dead at his hands, and Illyria had shown him a
way to save a hundred thousand in return. It was not enough to want
to be good, to want redemption. It started with this day. Whether
he wished to be Illyria’s saviour or her destroyer or a nameless
slave who surrendered his power to those who were willing to use it.
The choice was his. Marcellus kissed Lydra, murmuring all would be
well. He stepped around Marcus’ crying body, and stepped out the
door.
Marcellus
half expected a crash of thunder to announce the moment, but the city
bustled under the morning sun oblivious. It was his pride, again,
thinking the world revolved around him. Perhaps Marcus was right.
And yet, what else could he have done? Marcellus took his bearings,
and then started on his way through the densest crowds on the largest
avenues to the Senate Hall. To beseech the citizenry for his
appointment as Tribune. Because today Scamander chose who would
represent the people. The patricians already had the Senate under
its thumb. If the tribuneship passed into their hands, it would be
ridiculous to believe Illyria was still a democracy and not an
oligarchy. The wealthy, landed class would continue to accrue all
the wealth and land of the Republic, until they would own everything,
even the bodies and souls of the populace they pretended to
represent. What other choice could he have made? Stay home and
watch the whole thing unfold, knowing it had been in his power to
stop it? There was nothing else he could have done. He did not
think they would dare to kill him in front of everyone. They had
counted on the threat to be enough, but they didn’t have the
courage to go through with it. It would be political suicide, to
assassinate your rival in broad daylight on the day of the election.
Who would vote for a killer? No, he would be safe today. Marcellus
started going over the speech in his head. He knew what to say, just
not how to say it. How to make people understand why he was right.
He was not a man of words, but they were the only things he could
save his country with. A few words controlled the deployment of all
the swords in the world. A man of words had power over men, the
greatest power of all. He could not let them hold that power.
Illyria’s grace be upon him this day, that her wisdom could guide
his tongue. If she loved her people, she would bless Marcellus so.
He was counting on it.
“Your
walk ends here, old man.” A squinty-eyed rat said. Men surrounded
him without trying to look as though they were surrounding him. And
no one particularly was barring his way. Clever of them, to threaten
without looking like it even now. Marcellus gave no answer, he did
not even change his pace. He continued walking forward as if he
hadn’t heard, right by two men who were too hesitant to do anything
about it. Someone grabbed his shoulder, but he shrugged free and
kept walking, still as though he hadn’t noticed. Let
them kill me in cold blood in the middle of the street. Let them
even try.
A
part of the crowd began to hurry back in front and around him, this
time more constricting and obvious. “I said stop!” The rat
raised his voice over the din of the crowd. A few onlookers suddenly
noticed it was Marcellus in their midst who was being ringed about.
A few murmurs broke out in the crowd, ones of anger or distress.
Others quietly slipped away as quickly as possible to avoid being
involved. ‘Let the mighty fight it out, I just want to tend my
crops and hearth.’ Marcellus watched those people leave with
disgust. The only difference between the mighty and the weak was
that the mighty were willing
to fight it out.
“You
should not have left home, today.” The rat said. Oh,
that’s good, convince your killers it is my fault. Convince me
that the blood on your daggers will be my fault, because I decided to
walk the public streets of my own city. And call me ‘old man’
and the like, never by name, because you don’t want to kill a
person with a name. It must be a talent, to deceive yourself out of
guilt or shame. A talent, to forget all the lessons life has tried
to teach you. The only talent stupidity can claim.
Marcellus blank stare seemed to infuriate the rat more than
anything. Oh yes, I
should be fearful or defiant. I should react to you in distress, so
that you know that you are in control. Wouldn’t it be nice, to
think you had power over me? But you don’t. You couldn’t have
power over a worm. The
crowd shifted and swore. Like Marcus had said, they knew Good when
they saw it. Their minds just didn’t follow the true course of
their hearts, out of fear or effeminacy or jealousy or greed. He
wished they all had to fight in the Legion, just so they could learn
what honour meant. But they were his hope, now. His life was in
their hands. What would they choose, their hearts’ righteous anger
or their minds’ sinking depravity? He trusted them. The Goddess
would preserve him. They had no power over one cloaked in her
favour.
“Say
nothing, then!” The rat shouted. “It won’t change anything.
You’ve lost. Now go home. Be thankful you still have a home to go
to!” Most clever,
reminding me of how kind you are to not kill my innocent wife and
children as well. But what happens a week from now, when you demand
my wife, and say ‘be thankful you have your sons?’ What happens
two weeks from now, when you take my sons, and say “be thankful you
have a daughter?’. What happens when you take my daughter, and say
‘be thankful we will not torture and defile her before she dies?’
When a lion devours a deer’s leg, the deer is not thankful to
retain its head. The lion and the deer both know that it will not
end with a leg. How could humans not understand something rabbits
and deer have known all along? Are we really that stupid?
The
rat was losing control, Marcellus’ blank stare and silent gaze
watching him like some wall he didn’t feel like climbing over just
yet. The crowd began to swell with the talk of assassins, and the
loudness of the crowd started to make up for the silence of the
victim. Marcellus understood this as well. A crowd will watch a man
fight and die even against hopeless odds and feel nothing amiss. But
a crowd would not watch a man stand silent and peaceful while his
killers assaulted him. That was unfair. Marcellus smiled. People
were funny. Illyria had a good sense of humour when she made them.
“What
are you smiling about?” The rat asked nervously, looking to see if
armsmen were coming. “I’ll carve that smile off your face!”
He drew his dagger, giving the sign for the attack. But the crowd’s
murmurs became an ocean swell of outrage.
“NO!
NO!” They surged. “MURDERERS! ASSASSINS!” The ring of men
with daggers was swamped by a hoard of angry barehanded craftsmen and
farmers. Those who didn’t get swarmed immediately saw how the
chips had flown and ran for their lives. The murderers who had come
to kill a helpless old man were all beaten bloody or fleeing in
panic. He would have fought, before the first assassin would have
reached him. But Marcellus took his hand off the hilt of his sword,
and pumped his fist in victory. The crowd roared in response. He
could feel the instant bond between them, the bond between a
commander and his soldiers after a victory. He could feel their
loyalty latch onto him, all their worries wash away with the sense of
purpose and strength. Marcellus looked at them with wonder, to see
such a transformation happen in a matter of seconds. Craftsmen and
farmers, simply by fighting together for what they knew was right,
were suddenly an army bent on victory whatever the cost. And from
that point on, Marcellus approached the Senate with a new legion as
escort. Those who saw the entourage gaped in excitement and quickly
joined their ranks. They wanted to be the men who had marched with
Marcellus. They wanted to tell their children that one day they had
protected all of Illyria. They saw the joy and excitement of the
crowd and wanted to be a part of it. A part of something greater.
And
so by the time he reached the Senate, thousands of men were shouting
and marching, until the Senators must have thought they were under
attack. Those who saw the teeming crowd bursting through all the
streets and back alleys thought it was another Corn Riot, which had
once almost burned the entire city down. And at the center, as
though the head of a giant’s body, walked Marcellus in his stately
pace and cloak thrust back to reveal his sword. The crowd saw it and
cheered wildly. Marcellus had come to fight for Illyria. Marcellus
was willing to fight to the death for them,
for Scamander. Everyone who saw him instantly fell in love with him,
like some incredible sorcery. There was a glamour woven around
Marcellus, the Goddess herself charming all those who looked upon her
champion. Only that could explain the great cries of joy that
followed Marcellus’ march to the Hall.
“Citizens
of Illyria, today I come to ask for your vote. You all know what is
at stake here! You all know the content of my adversary’s
character, and what such a rule as his would entail. I will tell you
what will happen under him! No man will be safe in the streets, for
fear of offending the powers that be! No man will be secure in his
property, for the courts and the Knights shall take it from them! No
farmer shall own the land of his father and his grandfather, for the
patricians will come to seize it! Illyria will become a nation of
slaves, and a few rich cutthroats its tyrants!” A tide of no’s!
and Murderers!
And Slavers!
broke through the
crowd, drowning out Marcellus’ voice.
“But
I offer something else! I offer you a Republic, like the Republic of
our fathers! Like the Republic of our grandfathers! Where no one
would use the law as the weapon to silence one’s enemies. When no
innocent need fear an accuser, where no Knight would exile our
brightest and best! I will free all the sons of free fathers! I
will end all the debts that made a man sell his own family into
slavery to stave off starvation. I will free all the children of
Illyria, children whose blood runs with the Goddess divine, a people
free and proud, beholden to none but the Lady our Goddess Herself!”
More cheers wracked the auditorium, people screaming for the end of
debts that poised them on the brink of selling their own children as
slaves to the Patricians and their ancestral homes to become part of
the great holdings of the slave-tilled Patrician fields.
“I
offer free land for everyone willing to claim it! I offer virgin
soil, deep and black, for the plowing! So that famine will never
seize this land again. So that we will never depend on Necia’s
good will to feed our own children! I have seen this land, I know
it’s worth. It’s the very land Maximus has spent the last thirty
years conquering for you. The same land I defended for you last
winter! The frontier is empty for the taking, for I have emptied it!
And it is in your power to fill it with Illyria’s children. It is
in your power to make the frontier populated by Illyrians! I offer
honeybees and large families! I offer a diet of fruits and meat
beside your grain and corn! I offer a land so thickly populated that
the Ogres will never dare to enter it again! I offer the legions
that will be needed to protect it, the legions that will keep Mania
safe for the next ten generations!”
The
cheers erupted anew, this time from young men and women with eager
eyes. The Goddess knew how so many could live in so small a place,
how small the farms were becoming for the lack of room to provide for
more. The Goddess knew how many brave men and women would seek out a
new home, if it meant owning as much land as the Patricians as a
reward for simply living there. It was Marcellus’ greatest dream.
His life’s vision, to see all the land he had fought for brought to
cultivation by his people. To see new cities spring forth from the
very earth, and fill the land with beauty and grace. To justify all
the wars, all the slaughters, all the blood, to make it all worth it,
by bringing an even better life to those who followed after than
those who had gone before. Marcellus would die content, if he could
see Mania become as much a province of the Republic as Lucia or
Caria. If all the war was fought for this great Making, the making
of a whole new land under the Goddess’ wing.
“I
offer you all this! And all I ask of you is your vote. All I ask of
you is to be given the power to bless you!” The cheers became an
ocean’s roar.
The Senate knew Marcellus
would be Tribune before he made his speech. At that point, they knew
he could have been Dictator.
Chapter 6.
Marcus
carefully made his way to the center of the auditorium. It was his
first public performance, and he just knew he was going to trip over
his clothing and become the mockery of the entire city. The people
cheered him wildly, but they weren’t cheering him. They were
cheering Marcellus’ son. Marcus did not accept any praise he had
not earned himself. Taking his pose, he let his mind unlock the gate
to his memory and reveal his poem to the world.
“Shades of the earth, hear
your tale! For today Scamander will know its dread fate!
For every beginning comes an
end. For every dawn an eve.
And on that eve, the sky will
grow dark with the burned-out sun.
Clouds will cover both moon
and stars for seven years. And all the earth shall turn to dust.
And on that seventh hour, when
all mankind will howl with suffering,
There will be no wheat nor
corn. And all the fish will have gone.
The deer shall starve, and
then the wolves. And all the animals shall pass away.”
“And with the quaking earth,
the seas and lands shall split asunder, the gates of Hell unleashed.”
And there will come the
terrible three-headed hound of Hell!
Breathing fire from each face,
jaws gnashing and eyes flashing.
Evil will stalk the earth,
Sheole, Mahara, and Zakine fused into one dread form.
And in their wake will come
all their dogs. The dead souls outnumbering the living.
Greed and envy will come
yipping! All the dogs that once held the slaver’s whip!
Then cowardice and indolence
will raise their cry! All the dogs who lived as slaves!”
“That Cerberus of Cocytus
will howl to the cloud-covered sky.
And all its dogs will howl, so
many to sound like thunder to every ear.
And Illyrians, Necians,
Datians all will groan from their rending jaws.
For cursed we are, thrice
over, and cursed is our lot!
And cursed are the dead! And
cursed are the living! For suffering is our lot!
And cursed were we born, and
cursed shall we die!
The seas will boil, the earth
shall split, and the barren earth shall bear life no more!”
Marcus
fell silent, his voice echoing and reechoing through the auditorium
stone. He did not know what to expect. Who could cheer after such a
poem? The poem befit only the silence of the grave. Marcus watched
the crowd stand still, unmoving, as though pierced by some lance’s
shaft. He had reached them. He had pierced their souls. With a
slight bow, he walked back to his place among the other poets. Not a
sound accompanied him down the stage.
“You
were great.” Dio said as he rejoined the young performers. Dio
moved to embrace him, but Marcus shied away. The boy cast Marcus a
sullen and hurt look, and let his arms drop.
“Dio,
Dio.” Marcus coaxed. “Don’t be like that. It’s just my
father wouldn’t understand.”
“What
is there to misunderstand?” Dio spoke sharply. “That I love you
and am happy for you?”
“He
just doesn’t see it.” Marcus said in frustration. “I
mentioned just the theory
of pure love and he
looked furious! I was afraid he would take me out of the Academy!
He will take
me out if he ever sees us. Or even hears of us. Or anything. The
most innocent caress would be damning in his eyes.”
“I
thought your father supported the Academy.” Dio sympathized.
“He
does, but not when it conflicts with the military virtues. He's
lived in the Legion too long to see us as anything but soft and
weak.” Marcus sighed. “I hate being his enemy. I hate being my
father’s enemy simply because of who I am. A person’s hatred
should only be earned as a judgment for what they do. How can you
condemn someone for what they are?”
Dio
moved to touch him, then dropped his hand with a look of disgust.
“This is just perfect. Our love condemns you in your father’s
eyes, and I can’t even give my comfort in recompense.”
Marcus
barked a bitter laugh at that. “How easy it is for evil to own the
soul. If I asked father if he trusted me, if he were proud of me, if
he loved me, he would be the first to affirm. He doesn’t even know
that he hates his own son. He thinks his hatred of effeminacy
touches nothing, has no correspondence to reality. But hatred always
finds a way. It always finds a way to tear lives apart.”
“I
guess that’s why you read that poem today.” Dio said.
Marcus
nodded. “If anyone thinks I’m happy after that they don’t
deserve to. . .” Marcus opened his fist with the gesture of the
proper words escaping like a bird to the air.
“There
can be joy even in sorrow.” Dio gave him a pleading look.
“I
can’t, Dio. No, I really can’t.
Please don’t ask me to.” Dio grew quiet after that, but Marcus
could feel the question still coming from his eyes. He felt so
helpless with Dio. Like he never added up to what Dio wanted of him.
Like Dio could never be satisfied with what he gave. He loved Dio,
but sometimes it was like that’s not what Dio wanted. It made
being with him so hard. Everything was so hard now. Nothing was
easy. There was no safe harbour left to return to. Just a year ago,
just a year,
everything was easy and safe. What had happened? How had everything
become a source of pain and fear? A year ago he loved his father
more than anything. What had happened? He had loved being at the
Academy, it had been the one place fear and loneliness couldn’t
touch him. Now he was drowned in a surge of jealousy and
possessiveness and feuds. How had this happened? How could anyone
have willed this to happen? It made him want to go home and cry into
his pillow. The soft, quiet tears that never reached his parent’s
door. But once he’d run out of tears and fallen asleep, nothing
had changed. Marcus knew that now. Tears changed nothing. He
guessed that was why adults never bothered to cry. The
other children hate me because I am my father’s son. They hate me
because of the favour everyone shows me. They hate me because I am
better than them, the quickest to answer and the most highly praised.
But do they know I would give anything to escape my father? That
I’d rather be the son of a cobbler if it only meant I could have
one safe place again?
“Marcus?”
The headmaster called. Marcus waved in response. “Marcus, your
father sends word that he could not attend, and bids you the best of
luck.” The headmaster paused. “Though I suppose that hardly
helps now that you’ve already performed. Great poem, by the way.
I didn’t think one so young could evoke such strong sorrow.
Anyway, Marcellus said something about pressing state business.
Something about Lucia, I think. You should probably get home on your
own.”
Marcus
nodded. So I could
have hugged Dio after all.
Marcellus
stormed into the Senate proceeding. It didn’t help that they had
called this session during his son’s performance. But to not even
inform him! They had actually planned
for him to be at
the public show while they had passed their laws without fear of his
veto! These slinking dogs could never be looked away from. While
the cats are away, the mice are at play. And it seemed that
everywhere he wasn’t
mice were.
“I
veto!” He shouted, silencing the current Senator’s speech. The
Senate looked at him with astonishment, a few Senators and Knights
laughing in incredulity before the whole Hall joined in.
Cicero
gave a heartfelt smile to his ally in the tribune. “Perhaps our
honoured colleague would like to learn what he is vetoing?” And
the Senate laughed again before settling down.
Marcellus
took his seat among the Knights and his two fellow tribunes who made
up the people’s voice. Hundreds of years had gone into the shaping
of the Republic. When Tarquin’s line of the godkings had finally
been overthrown and Scamander first established itself as the jewel
in Illyria’s eye, there had only been the Senate. The Senate had
quickly turned to enriching its own classes, however, and robbing
from the powerless and the poor. At first a single tribune, elected
directly by all Illyrian citizens, with the power to veto any law
made by the Senate, seemed sufficient. But soon the Senate found
ways to get around the tribune, by staying in session until the
tribune slept, or calling hurried sessions while the tribune was
away. So one tribune had been replaced by three, so that a watchdog
of the people could always be present. Cicero was of the older
school of tribunes, a man whose virtue was so outstanding that praise
of him had even reached the northern camps of Mania. The third
tribune was one of the patrician’s stooges, installed the year
before Marcellus had been elected. If the patricians had held two of
the three tribuneships, Cicero would have been helpless to stop them.
But together the two old men had worked to break the stranglehold of
the wealthy few. They had even managed to appoint a series of
virtuous Knights, the people’s judges, who were slowly outnumbering
the ones who had been naught more than attack dogs under the
patricians command. Marcellus now understood how the patricians had
seized such power in so short a time. Any Senator who resisted them
was quickly charged with any number of accusations, and the Knights
were already paid to condemn any enemies of the patricians. The most
ridiculous charges were brought upon the most upstanding of
Scamander’s citizens, to the point that the city thought it a game
patricians played at to invent new and worse crimes for their enemies
to be accused of. Theft went to treachery to idolatry to bestiality
to consorting with damned spirits. It didn’t matter what the
accusation was, the punishment would be the same, exile to one of the
million deserted Carian isles, there to await their eventual demise.
Marcellus and Cicero had been working to get these men recalled, but
the Senate resisted them at every step. In the end, it was not
within a tribune’s power to overturn a verdict of the Knights.
Sometimes Marcellus felt it wasn’t within a tribune’s power to do
anything. He hated those days. He hated coming home with those
tired, blank eyes that told his wife that another day of wrangling
had resulted in failure and the Senate had won again. Those were the
days that he curled quietly into her arms. The days that only Lydra
could comfort him through. Sometimes he wished he were fighting the
clean battles of sword and shield, but he pushed those desires away.
He did not intend to ever leave again. There was already a gulf
growing between himself and Marcus, though he couldn’t understand
why. If he broke his promise to his son, that schism might never
close. He had never fought with Jania. Why couldn’t it have been
like that with his sons? But that was nature’s way. A mother
always fought with her daughters, a father with his sons. Sheole’s
gift to the world.
“Rebellion,”
The Senator, a certain Luscius, explained. “Lucia is up in arms
against its governor. And the Legion sent to quell the rebellion
seems to have been swallowed whole.”
“Legions
don’t just disappear.” Marcellus said, lifting an eyebrow in
skepticism.
“Well
this one has, Marcellus. Perhaps Lucians are a bit tougher than
Ogres.”
“Perhaps
so.” Marcellus agreed. “But then, I seem to recall defeating
them as well.” The Senate laughed at the sting, giving the verbal
spar’s triumph to Marcellus. The story of his storming of Taigin
was popular legend.
“In
any event, this Senate must call for a state of martial law in
Lucia.” Luscius recovered.
“You
wish to treat Lucia as a conquered province?” Marcellus asked,
aghast.
“Not
as a conquered province,” Luscius answered. “But as one that
still needs conquering. We cannot allow the loss of a Legion to go
unpunished.”
Marcellus
just looked at the man for a while, at a loss for words. Illyria
remained strong so long as its provinces benefited from being a part
of it. The Legions did not keep the Republic together. The baths
and the roads and the laws and the trading goods and the faith did.
If Legions began to march within the state’s borders, treating
Lucia as somehow a secondary member of the Republic. . .the whole
State would unravel at the seams. Were they really that stupid? Or
were they just pure evil, whose only intention
was to destroy all
things fair?
“You
want to start a war.” Marcellus’ dead voice was not a question.
“After our first year of peace in fifty, you want to start another
war. And this time not with barbarians, but our own people.
Illyria’s own children.” It was too insane to actually evoke an
emotion.
“The
war has already begun. The only question is whether or not this
Senate is willing to fight it, or watch all of Maximus’ toil come
to naught!”
“If
our Legions come as conquerors, despoiling their crops and
slaughtering their women and children, do you think Necia will stand
for it? It was not long ago when Lucia was their
colony. Attacking
Lucia is tantamount to attacking Necia itself. How could Scamander
survive a single day without Necia’s corn and grain? How could you
even think of
fighting the children of a Goddess?”
“Perhaps
it would be compromising, for Illyria to go against Necia’s
wishes?” The Senator asked slyly. Marcellus could feel the ripple
of thought moving through the Hall. A trap. The whole thing had
been a trap, and he had walked straight into it. His son-in-law a
Necian, and Illyria at war with Necia, everything he did from then on
as tribune he could be accused of treachery for.
“What’s
this, you wish to cancel the debts of all sons of freemen? Only a
traitor would propose such a thing. How long have you been in
Necia’s pay? How long have you fought for their triumph over your
own homeland?”
“What’s
this, you wish to give free land to all those willing to move to the
frontier? Obviously you only wish to deprive Illyria of all its
warriors so that Necia will triumph over us.”
He
could already see the speeches they would make. He could already see
that any influence he had as a tribune would disappear the moment the
war began. The people would be screaming for his blood in the
streets. He could not believe the Senate was willing to plunge
Illyria into a war simply to destroy a political enemy. The
patricians had been more honorable when they had tried to murder him
in the streets. A long silence engulfed the Hall, poised, expectant,
waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Marcellus
broke that silence with a confident voice. “I will go to Lucia.”
A murmur went through the assembly.
Luscius
smiled, his prey fully enmeshed in his spider’s web. “But
Marcellus, you should know a tribune has no authority to deal with
foreign powers.”
“I
will go to Lucia as Consul, at the head of your Legions. I will go
to Lucia as your conqueror.” Marcellus responded calmly. A Consul
was appointed by the Senate at the beginning of every war. He had
already laid out his terms. He would resign his tribuneship, if the
Senate appointed him as Consul. The Senate thought they had won.
But Marcellus was resigning now because before long it wouldn’t
have mattered anyway. By resigning now in return for being Consul,
Marcellus was giving away nothing for something. This war was not
over yet.
Chapter 7.
The
Academy was filled with the voice of the Carian headmaster: “At
the dawn of creation, when earth was new to fire and water new to
air, humans would run on all fours beside the animals. Humans hunted
in packs alongside wolves, taking down great mammoths with only teeth
and jaw. And soon it was that wolves and humans were
indistinguishable, both known simply as dogs. But the Goddesses in
their mercy came down to the humans, and taught them to walk on two
legs rather than four. And when the humans stood upright, their
heads pointed towards the heavens instead of the grimy earth, and
they towered over all creatures as kings. And the Goddesses taught
man how to trap fire and wear fur, how to store food and how to shape
stone. The Goddesses taught man how to tame the seeds and beasts,
and how to live in cities instead of packs. And when Man was finally
ready, the Goddesses lay with their kings, and beget children
divine.”
“Three
lines of man did the three Goddesses bless, three empires fair to
adorn their green earth. Datia, Necia, Illyria with lineages proud.
All others live in shadow. The humans run like dogs through northern
snow and southern sand, blind to the Goddess’ starry throne.
Barbarians, bandits, and nomads. Ogres, Jinni, and Centaurs, who
never tasted of the Goddess’ love, nor suckled at her breast.
Bereft of all life’s blessings, knowing only dirt and war.”
“And
three demons did look upon these nations fair, and preyed upon them
fangs bared. Three gifts to poison life and blacken white. Zakine
gave us suffering, that which steals away life and breath for young
and old. Zakine brought the fury of storms and the rattling cough.
Zakine gave our fields thistles and nettles, briars and weeds.
Zakine gave us all things buzzing and biting, all rats and fleas.
Torment is his gift, so that curses first adorned Man’s breath and
ear. Sheole struck at the human heart, casting us about with fear,
shame, guilt, and doubt. Sheole gave us wine and oil and sickly
sweets, to soften and deaden Man’s greatest feats. Pride he stole,
then freedom chained. For indolence and luxury, cowardice and
ignorance, the slave’s virtues are Sheole’s gift. Mahara came
last, with hatred in his eye. Strife was his gift, so that humans
knew naught but war. Envy he gave, so that one man’s balm was
another’s thorn. Jealousy, so that all things praiseworthy were
rather blamed. Greed he gave us, to want all things unearned.
Mahara sowed amongst us arrogance and scorn. And all the slaver’s
tools, be they whip, tax, debt or sword.”
“Divine
is man, and yet also beastly. Our blood from the Goddess is
perfection, sacred and pure. To the Right it turns, as the arrow of
the compass to the northern pole. And in our hearts, where all our
blood flows, truth shines forth and virtue is known. The Right and
Good we all see, as the wisdom of the Goddess reveals: Our heart
rages at injustice. Our soul floats elated upwards at the sight of
beauty. Pride and honour is treasured as life’s greatest rewards.
All of us have the divine, and thus all of us know the divine. Just
as magnets come together of their own volition, through the force of
their own nature, does all Good know and love all other Good. The
demon’s gifts cannot touch our vision pure, just as they cannot
touch the Goddesses our mothers. They fight not with the Goddesses,
nor the human vision divine, but with the beasts that remain. Demons
conquer all humans that ignore the Goddess and remain their primal
dogs. For no virtue is found outside the Goddess’ bound. Sheole’s
dog, or Mahara’s, a dog you shall be. As a dog you shall live,
within evil’s realm. As a dog you shall see, snout rooted in dust
and dirt, never to gaze upon Heaven’s stars. And with dogs you
shall range, in a yipping, barking horde. The demon’s gifts
enslave only dogs, never shall a Man do wrong. For all of you know
the Good, all of you know the difference between foul and fair. Only
those who tear out their eyes, who rip off their ears, only those who
blind themselves to virtue’s teachings, need a demon fear.
Jealousy and greed, envy and arrogance, hatred and scorn, luxury and
sloth, indolence and cowardice, shame and guilt, of all these things
is Man free. And why is a Man free of these?”
There
was a silence as the boys realized Anaxagoras expected an answer.
Finally, a hesitant voice piped up from the semicircle around his
couch. “Because they are only dogs’ feelings?” Dio asked.
“Correct.
But correct how?”
Anaxagoras pursued.
Then
everyone was silent. Giving an answer would only mean being proven
wrong. Dio looked to Marcus, who was usually the first to answer
these questions, but Marcus didn’t seem to be listening. Finally,
Dio took the mantle back upon his shoulders.
“Because
only an animal’s desires would produce them.” Dio answered
bravely.
“Ahhh.”
Anaxagoras leaned back, a small smile trying to work on the corners
of his mouth. “What are people jealous and greedy for?”
“All
sorts of things.” Another boy responded, not understanding.
“Yes.
Things.
People are jealous of things,
they are greedy for things.
And what are people envious over or arrogant about?”
The
crowd was now excited, catching on to the line of thought. “Things!”
“What
causes hatred and scorn?”
“Things!”
“What
do indolent and luxuriant people live for?”
“Things!”
“What
are people afraid of losing?”
“Things!”
“And
what are people ashamed or guilty about?”
“Things!”
“And
why do they care about things?”
Anaxagoras cried out zealously. “Why do they treasure dust and
air? Why do they value the world of flux? Why do they care about
externals? Because they are dogs, and their noses are still buried
in the dirt! The whole starry sky lies burning overhead, all the
things divine that the Goddess gave Man, and all they desire is the
dirt they roll in!
“How
could a Man be jealous of another man’s dirt?
A Man who possesses wisdom, virtue, beauty, pride, honor, freedom,
love, purity, and all things divine? How could a Man be greedy for
dirt,
when the stars of sacred things stretch limitless in the sky? How
could a Man be afraid of losing dirt?
When no power can steal away the things of true value? How could a
Man cede away things divine for externals of dust and air, out of
fear or guilt or shame? How could a Man hate another man for some
external injury, when nothing they do can harm your soul? How could
a Man trade beauty and virtue for indolence and luxury, when one
fills the heavens with fire and the other litters the ground with
garbage? No Man could feel any
of these things,
because all of them stem from valuing dirt! And only a dog who
cannot see the sky would ever desire the dirt his face is buried in!”
Anaxagoras paused a moment to
calm his passion. “In these walls are we Men, and our words will
bring back your eyes and ears, so that you may see the stars of
Heaven once more. Our words will slip away all of evil’s chains,
and you will live free, as the Goddess meant. And you will taste of
her love once more.” The headmaster looked each of the youths in
the eye, measuring their reactions. The children’s eyes were
sparkling and their lips pursed with happiness. They felt like they
had just made a wonderful discovery. And the best thing was, they
felt that they themselves had made it. That they had discovered it
on their own. Anaxagoras knew the Goddess must have inspired his
lecture today.
“Very
well, then. You are dismissed. Make your way safely home, and you
may respond and question me on the morrow. Oh, and Marcus, could you
bide a moment?” The class streamed about, whispering about what
Marcus had done or what questions they had for tomorrow. Eventually
the two sat alone under the great roof of the Academy. The building
was not walled in, but rather supported by a great many pillars on
all sides to let in the sun and air. Nature should never be distant
from man, for love of it was the beginning of love for all things.
“Your
eyes looked distant today, have you nothing left to learn?” The
headmaster rebuked gently.
“It’s
not that.” Marcus apologized, trying to dispel distant thoughts.
“I was trying to understand something.”
“What
were you thinking?” The headmaster kept it secret, but he loved
the boys who ignored his thoughts in the pursuit of their own. They
were the only ones who truly believed the things he taught, because
they arrived to his conclusions on their own path. The rest
memorized empty phrases that never reached their hearts nor paused
their thoughts, and they left to rejoin the ranks of dogs without
another care.
“It’s
my father. He promised me, once, that he would never leave me again.
I don’t understand why my father broke his promise. And I don’t
understand how my father could be a bad man, when I know in my heart
he is so good. I don’t understand anything, and I hate it.”
The
headmaster smiled warmly. “Only those who understand nothing
understand anything.”
Marcus
laughed and nodded. “But please, do you know why good people break
their promises?”
The
headmaster sighed, settling back into his couch. “Things change,
Marcus. People change. Circumstances change. The whole world
changes, while promises remain the same. And sometimes, sometimes
things change so much that those promises are ripped apart, even
against the will of those who made them.”
“Then
why make a promise? Why make a promise you don’t intend to keep?”
“They
do intend
to keep them. But they didn’t know how the changes that happened
would make their promises impossible. We don’t know the future,
Marcus, and that is why it is ridiculous to pretend to know how we
will act in the future. Promises are just more chains, they bind
people into actions they no longer choose out of wisdom but only
duty. What if Marcellus had kept his promise, and remained? Then
there would be war in Lucia, perhaps even war with Necia, and Illyria
without its greatest Consul to protect it. What would Marcellus do
here? What purpose would he serve? Virtue lies in aligning the
power one has to the good one seeks. For the measure of the quality
of a person is found not in the weight of good they accomplish but in
the harmony of their alignment with the Good. Take a poor farmer and
a rich usurer. The poor farmer with his small plot of land gives his
whole life to virtue. All the energy he has, he pours into providing
for the lives of others. The farmer has a tiny potential to do good,
so fleeting and small that you could never notice it. But that
farmer gave us everything. He is in harmony with the divine guidance
the Goddess has given us.
"Now look at the usurer:
How much wealth he owns! How much power he has, to give people the
means to success and prosperity. His potential is enormous, but how
does he exhaust it? Not in doing good, but in adorning his home with
silver and gold. By eating ten times his share, like some sort of
pig, vomiting the excess in a feat of pure wastefulness. By drinking
wine and wearing silk and lending money to those who have the
sweetest tongues and flatteries. That usurer may do more good than
the farmer, simply because even the slightest portion of his
potential outweighs the farmer’s whole. But who is the better
person, Marcus? Who would you rather live beside?”
“The
farmer.” Marcus affirmed.
“Then
take your father. Of all the people in Illyria, he has the potential
to do the greatest good. He is a great man. Your father is the
greatest man in all the Republic. But what if he squandered that
potential by staying in this comfortable and safe city while the
Legions march to war? What if your father watched Illyria become
broken apart and weak and fearful when his leadership could have made
it triumphant? Would he be a good person then?”
“No.”
Marcus admitted quietly.
“That
is why good people break their promises, Marcus. Because your father
knew that being good meant devoting all his power to the Good. When
he made you that promise, he thought that meant staying in this city
and with his family. It was true, when he made you that promise.
But now things have changed, and now the right thing to do is
something else. That is why the only things you can promise are
internal, not external.”
“Because
one only has control of one’s own soul, nothing else.” Marcus
began to understand. “The world is flux and change, and none have
power over it. That is why freedom is a state of mind, a state of
the soul, and not external. That is why a slave can be free, and the
free slaves.”
“Exactly.
And the only things you can control, the only things that you can
predict, is the state of your own soul. The only promise you can
keep is a promise concerning your own soul, not any action, but only
your state of mind. Actions are dependant on circumstances, but
thoughts are your own. Marcellus was wrong to promise an action,
when no mortal can know the future. But he was right to break that
promise, knowing that the promise was wrong to have been made. Only
in breaking it is your father a good man.”
Marcus
nodded, his heart becoming relieved and happy with the knowledge that
chaos had once again become order in the light of wisdom. “How
will I ever be as wise as you, Anaxagoras?”
“Well,
you could start by listening to my lectures.” He teased. “And
after that, it is only a matter of following the good the Goddess has
placed inside of you. You knew Marcellus was good, even when he was
doing something you thought was bad, didn’t you?”
Marcus
nodded.
“That
is the Goddess in you. If you listen to the Goddess, you will always
know the Good. Wisdom is only that. It is only finding the Goddess
inside of you, and heeding her call.”
“I
will
listen tomorrow, I pro—“ Then Marcus laughed. “I can’t
promise I will. But I promise to try to be wise. And I promise that
I love your words and they feel true in my heart. So almost
certainly, I will listen to your lecture tomorrow.”
Anaxagoras
laughed and smiled warmly in admiration. “If you learn this
quickly, soon I will have nothing left to teach. Now go home. Your
poor mother is alone, now. Your brother in the Legion and your
sister in her own home and your father a Consul once more. It isn’t
well for her to be alone.”
Marcus
nodded. “But isn’t my presence or absence just another external
that shouldn’t make any difference to her one way or another?”
“Just
go, you parrot! And don’t talk to me again until they’re your
own words!” And Marcus went home, smiling all the way. He was
happy because he was free. Father was gone, and he was free.
Marcellus
looked at the hamlet his Legion was about to enter. The tenth had
been disbanded, its veterans gaining the well-deserved retirement of
a quiet life. As tribune, he had fought for every legionnaire to
receive a free farmstead for his family and home. The Republic had
almost doubled in size, and yet all the Patricians seemed to believe
that there wasn’t enough land for even Illyria’s bravest citizens
to own a simple farm. The all-too-familiar rage welled up inside of
him, but he pushed it down. That was over, now. He had tried to be
a good tribune. But now he was a Consul, and he knew he was a great
Consul. That rage could no longer be directed at his own countrymen.
A Consul’s hatred lay only in Illyria’s enemies. Vale shifted
restlessly and Marcellus slapped it almost reflexively, only
afterwards noticing the man who had drawn up beside him.
“Too
much smoke for chimneys.” Fabius said. “The third village we’ve
crossed now empty or sacked. I’ve never seen this sort of
desolation on Illyrian soil.”
“I
won’t let this continue.” Marcellus answered. “I’ve come to
make peace, not war. The Goddess knows there’s already enough war
here.”
“Who
is there to make peace with?” Fabius watched the hamlet burn
angrily. “Everyone’s dead or gone. No one dares feed the
Legion, even when we pay for it, for fear of reprisal from the
rebels. The rivers are befouled, the earth scorched. Lucia is going
up in flames, burning itself for the sake of its own freedom.”
“I’ve
never seen its like.” Marcellus marveled. “What was possibly
done to these people, that they’d rather live like this than as
they had before? This is the bravery of desperation. The courage of
those driven beyond all recourse.”
“And
what happened to the First? An entire Legion vanished, with not a
trace of battle and not a single deserter found. Did they just
continue marching into the Sea?”
“Perhaps
these villagers will know something.” Marcellus counseled
patiently.
“Oh
I’m sure they do.” Fabius snorted. “And I’m sure half of
them are the very same rebels this Legion has been sent to quell.
But when we come in, they’ll all be simple farmers too stupid to
know a thing, or even know why their village is a smoking ruin and
all their crops gone though it’s early summer.”
“There
must be a head to all this. Only a leader could make this happen.
Only a great man could cause such zealotry in all these peasants and
craftsmen. All we have to do is find him, Fabius. We’re not
chasing a ghost. And we’ve told everyone we’ve met that our
intention is to return peace and order to this troubled land.
Eventually we will ferret him out, like a snake from his hole. If he
thinks the Legion will suffer from what he’s done, he must know how
many millions will starve come winter if he does not make peace soon.
Anyone brave enough to rebel against Illyria and defeat an entire
legion must be smart enough to see this. A man graced by the Goddess
is not graced in one virtue but in all.”
“You
see some great tactician lurking behind every burnt barn and every
slaughtered cow. Perhaps you’re right. But I see what my eyes lay
before me, naught but chaos and anarchy. Who’s to say Lucia is not
simply at the prey of bandits and raiders? Who’s to say it isn’t
Jinni or Ogres? There is no design to this!” Fabius blew out his
mustaches in disgust. “Pfwaw. Such a waste.”
“I
forgot this was your homeland, Fabius. Where the wild horses run
free.” Marcellus watched the hamlet with a longer sigh. Pain
meant nothing until it touched a loved one.
“The
finest metalworkers in all the world, Marcellus. Silver and gold
almost melting into the desired shape. I never thought I would live
to see this. I thought Maximus had brought the light to Lucia.”
“We
will keep the light aflame.” Marcellus promised. “I will not
let Illyria lose Lucia. Not after we lost so many to gain it.”
“Pfwaw.”
Fabius said. “Who’s to say it isn’t Necia? Nothing regular,
I’m sure, but there have been enough Necian pirates under Jinni
flags.”
“Necia
lost Lucia to the barbarians long before we claimed it for Illyria.
It would be ridiculous for them to claim it now.”
“But
Necia still knows that Lucia flows with their blood. A land once
gained is always felt to be rightfully one’s own. They won’t
forget that in a thousand years.”
“Then
we would do best to make peace with Lucia, so that the Necians look
upon one Illyria, united and strong. War is a vulture that haunts
only the weak.”
“Your
ghost had better reveal himself, then. Or there will be nothing left
to make peace with.” The two horses jockeyed for position as they
entered at the head of their Legion into the abandoned village.
Marcellus slapped his horse again, then gave up and dismounted,
handing the reins off without even knowing who took them. The
villagers would be less intimidated if he weren’t on horseback
anyway.
“Fan
out, find what you can. Centurions, I want everyone to be within
sight at all times. Do you understand? I want all the food and
goods to be taken immediately to the central square. If you catch
any looters, they shall be flogged.”
The
Centurions assented and broke off into search parties for survivors
and supplies. The Legion wasn’t exactly hungry, but they could all
have done with some ham and eggs and chicken about now. If this
continued, the men would have to eat the barley meant for the horses.
Maybe that was how the First disappeared. Marcellus made his own
way through the central avenue, watching peasants poke at burnt homes
and jealously hoard their chickens. Dogs were running through the
streets in packs, already half-wild, barking at the oncoming Legion
and fighting for what food was left to find. Dogs hardly made for
good eating, but it seemed that they and rats were the only things
still alive in this land. Perhaps he should order the dogs butchered
next village. Marcellus took a note of it, hardly watching where he
was going as worries filled his head.
Choosing
the first woman who looked to have a clear head at random, Marcellus
walked up to her in a stately fashion to denote his harmlessness and
took out a gold coin. “You’ve fallen upon harsh times, mistress.
I hope this will come of some use to you.”
She
looked at the coin as though it were some sort of viper. “And what
will I do when you aren’t here and they discover this coin? They
will think you paid me for betraying them. I think I would have
harsher times then.”
Marcellus
cursed inwardly because she was right. “I’m sorry but I must ask
you these things. Who are they? Why are they doing this to you?
Why are you afraid of them when an entire Legion is here to protect
you?”
“That’s
what the last Legion thought.” The girl snipped.
“Do
you know of the First? Anything at all? Do you know what happened to
them?”
She
shook her head. “Even if I knew, I would not tell you. And I
don’t know. They vanished, just like how they
vanish. The
ghost’s army.”
“Who
is this ghost?” Marcellus implored.
She
shook her head again. “I see you are a kind man, Consul. But we
will not help you. Those of us who don’t agree with the Ghost are
too afraid to disagree with him. And I will let you wonder which of
those two groups I lay in. And another thing is you can’t win.
Illyria can’t win no matter how many Legions she sends, they will
all vanish one by one just like the First. Just like yours is going
to. I think I see the Eagle over there. . .yes, the Sixth Legion. A
fine Legion you have brought here to die, Consul.”
“But
you can’t be serious!” Marcellus insisted. “How can rebels,
bandits, or whatever they are defeat a Legion? The Legion is the
strongest army in all the world!”
“I
will tell you a story, Consul.” The girl seemed amused. “Once I
watched a group of boys boxing in the square. There were a lot of
boys watching and a lot of girls besides. The whole village was
excited, cheering for one man’s son or another. Well, these
children, they would stand there, hitting each other back and forth,
beating each other silly. The tallest or the oldest or the biggest
one would last a bit longer and win the match, all bruised and bloody
but still the one standing. Everyone thought these boys were so
brave.”
“And?”
“And
then a little boy, he couldn’t have been more than twelve, after
the biggest and tallest and strongest boy had won, he asked if he
could fight next. Everyone laughed and told the boy that he would
have his chance in a couple years. But the boy insisted, and the
champion was all too willing. So they let the child fight, figuring
he would go down after the first hit and learn a lesson in humility
as well. They would have been right, except the boy wasn’t hit.
For every swing of the older boy, the younger boy would skip aside or
under or backwards. He didn’t even try to hit the older boy,
knowing he wasn’t strong enough to make a difference. And the
older boy kept getting angrier and swinging more wildly, the younger
boy skipping aside, until the older boy slipped and fell from his own
momentum. The whole crowd watched in horror. But all the little boy
did was nod, as if in answer to a question he had asked himself. The
little boy said: ‘I see now.’ That was all he said, and then he
went back home without another look at the crowd or the champion he’d
beaten.”
Marcellus
watched the girl closely, attentively, taking in every word she said.
He thought he understood how the First Legion had been destroyed.
And for the first time in his life, he wondered if he were
outmatched.
Publius
emerged from a street alley dragging a sooty and terrified villager
after him. "Father! Guess who I just dug up out of his hole?"
Marcellus
looked at the short man whose eyes darted back and forth like some
weasel still trying to find a way to escape. "Our Ghost?"
Marcellus asked caustically.
"Better!"
Publius shouted. "The rat who gave him birth! Our Governor!"
Chapter 8.
“Let
me get this straight,” Marcellus rubbed his forehead wearily. The
smoke from the tent was making his eyes ache, and his back was
screaming in complaint from sitting in a chair too many hours to
count. Marcellus wondered what a life free of pain would have felt
like. He guessed it wouldn’t have felt like anything at all.
“You, as governor, independent of any orders from the Senate,
declared this region a state of rebellion eight months
ago?”
“Yes,
that’s right.” The weasel licked his lips, sweat glistening on
his brow. “The Necians, you see—“
“Yes,
yes. I know about the Necians.” Don’t
let a liar get away with telling the same tale twice.
Marcellus thought. If
he has to think up a new lie every time, eventually his lies will
trip over each other. There
was something incredibly angering when he listened to a lie. The
weasel knew he was lying, the weasel even knew that Marcellus knew he
was lying. For some reason, the weasel thought that was far
preferable to Marcellus knowing the truth. At least this way
Marcellus didn’t know why
he was lying.
Except Marcellus had spent five hours figuring that out, and he was
pretty sure he knew that part as well.
“So,
having intercepted secret communications between the rebels and the
Necians, you saw fit to declare the province a state of rebellion,
without informing
the Senate.”
“Yes,
well, messengers were sent, but the rebels—“
“Oh
yes. Of course the rebels were interrupting all communications.
Except, it seems, that the rebels did not interrupt these.”
Marcellus waved a pile of letters asking for military assistance and
supplies.
“I
cannot explain it.” The governor laughed nervously.
“Perhaps
I could.” Marcellus smiled widely, flashing his teeth. “You
raised taxes, let’s see, for the past three years you’ve been
assigned here. Heavy tariffs on foreign goods, requisition of half
the agricultural production outright, plus, it seems, thousands of
laws on what exactly people can do with whatever they had left.”
“The
Necians—“
“Do
not interrupt my explanation, please.” Marcus smiled. “These
exorbitant taxes were then used to raise, it seems, a private Legion
of mercenaries.
All the metalworkers and weaponsmiths were employed by the State by
force of law to arm and equip these mercenaries.”
“Please,
sir, let me ex—“
“No,
no, no. Let me explain for you. I truly think I understand quite
well now.” Marcellus’ smile was so large it made his jaw ache.
“This private army, better equipped and supplied than any of
Illyria’s legions, at the expense of Lucia’s trading,
agriculture, and finest crafts, was meant to unite with the common
resentment of the newly conquered Ogres to rise up in rebellion
against Illyria.”
“I
would never--!” The weasel choked in outrage. “How dare you--?”
“Wait,
it gets better.” Marcellus broke through his sputtering. “You
had a wonderful plan, didn’t you governor? You were going to play
both sides. Your mercenaries were ordered to pose as Legionnaires,
rampaging through the country for rapine and pillage. Then once
Lucia revolted, you could declare a state of rebellion and wield
complete authority over the province. When the Legions came to quell
the revolt, you would declare yourself the champion of the People and
unite the mercenaries and revolutionaries under a single banner.
Lucia would well be under way to regain its independence, except this
time with you as king.”
“I
refuse to listen to this.” The weasel stood up shakily. “You
have no right—“
“Sit
down, weasel!” Marcellus shouted, it was the shout he used to
command the Legion in the din of battle. The governor sat down
before he even realized he had. Then he looked down at his seat in
surprise, gulped, and tried to stand up again. Bernadine had already
crossed the tent and put a firm hand on the weasel’s skinny
shoulder. Imprisoned by Marcellus’ piercing eyes and Bernadine’s
immovable arm, the governor could only watch with horror his
approaching doom.
“But
something went wrong, didn’t it? As a Consul, you quickly learn
that things go wrong with plans.” A flash of pain went through
Marcellus’ eyes, a flash of memory too painful to remember. “Your
pet Legion caught a liking to rape and pillage, and when it was time
to call them back, they had already become feral dogs, rabid dogs
beyond any control. You learn another thing with age, governor:
People can’t pretend to be dogs for long, before they become them.
They sold their souls to Mahara, and Mahara does not give them back.
The revolt did happen, but something else went wrong. Someone,
somewhere, turned the disorganized rabble into a force stronger than
your mercenaries. Not only did he crush the roving bandits, but when
you decided to cut your losses and call in the First, he crushed that
as well. Now you are desperate to be part of Illyria again, because
that is the only thing between you and the hellfire that this Ghost
promised to deliver you to. It seems you forgot that Illyria hates
traitors as much as commoners hate tyrants. That was your last
mistake, governor. I am through with you.”
“You
cannot--!” The weasel gasped. “Not without law--!”
“Is
this not a state of rebellion? As ranking officer, I have the
authority to conduct this war as best I see fit. And I predict your
corpse will have a favorable impact on the populace’s sentiment for
peace. I only wish I could bring you back to life, so that I could
kill you a hundred thousand times in return for every mother and
child whose blood lies on your hands. Perhaps Illyria will find a
suitable punishment for you in Hell.”
That
morning, villagers and legionnaires alike paused in their rounds,
wrenching eyes away from a sight none wished to comprehend. Fabius
and Marcellus watched it with stony eyes, long inured to the worst
horrors sight could bring. The crucified traitor stood atop the
highest standing roof, facing the empty and overgrown fields his
taxes had wrought.
“Do
you think they will see?” Fabius mused. “Eventually the birds
and bugs will steal away his face.”
“I
think they have seen our every movement since we entered Lucia.”
Marcellus smiled wryly. “For once, I’m glad.”
“Do
you think they will come? If what you believe is true. . .I don’t
see how they could forgive us. They were being starved to death,
worked as slaves, denied all the goods that enrich life. . .then
marauded by the army meant to protect them. By the Goddess, Marcus,
if I were them I would rather die living than live on dying.”
“People
want to live, no matter how painful.” Marcus said calmly, watching
the feeble twitches of the former governor. If he stopped moving,
the birds would peck out his eyes. But whenever he moved, the nails
would reopen the wounds in his wrists. He deserved it. He deserved
the worst the human mind could conceive. “The war they are
fighting. . .they are only fighting because they think death is
certain anyway. When they see him, they will find hope again. They
will want to live again, even if their Ghost doesn’t want them to.
They’ll demand to have a chance at life again.”
“It
could be that they are
just bandits. Your
mercenaries gone rabid. Wouldn’t that be a simpler explanation?”
“It
doesn’t feel right.” Marcellus said. “But when I think of a
Ghost, that feels right. I know I’m right, I just don’t know
that I know. My instincts reach answers before they can be reached
by my mind, and sometimes that is the difference between life and
death. Like when I feel like turning around, just to be sure no one
is behind me. It doesn’t have to make sense, I just turn around.”
Fabius
had stopped listening, however, stroking his moustache with a look of
detached curiosity. Marcellus didn’t bother to feel annoyed,
knowing Fabius would only ignore him for good reason. Instead he
just turned to look at whatever Fabius had noticed. A small boy with
bright eyes was picking his way carefully through the street. As
though he had memorized a route and was devoting his full
concentration sticking to it.
“Eyes
like the morning sun.” Fabius whistled. “You were right,
Marcellus. Bandits never inspire eyes like that.” The boy didn’t
seem to have noticed the crucified governor, walking straight up to
the two generals with a look of fixed determination. Not a
determination one wore to mask fear, but one set out to accomplish
his mission. He walked up to Marcellus, craning his neck to look in
the Consul’s eye. “Are you Marcellus?” He asked.
Marcellus
nodded. He supposed it was hardly a secret who the Consul of the
Sixth Legion was. It shouldn’t surprise him that the Ghost knew
his name. It didn’t seem fair, however, that he had no name for
his opponent.
“Will
you come with me?” The boy asked, each word spoken clearly,
checking to make sure the recital matched the words he had memorized.
Fabius shook his head slightly. Let
me go. Marcellus
saw. The two might as well have been able to read each other’s
minds. Marcellus shook his head in return. We
have to play it his way.
“At
least take a guard.” Fabius finally protested. “Just because
it’s obvious doesn’t make it any less a trap.”
“Killing
me wouldn’t achieve anything.” Marcellus said. “Except a war
Lucia knows it cannot win.”
“So
that’s it? He beckons, and you come running?” Fabius
challenged.
“That’s
just about it.” Marcellus responded lightly, not taking the bait.
He crouched down to look the boy at the same level. A moment later
his back screamed in protest, the rest of his muscles following suit.
Marcellus waited for the pain to fade to the background. He had to
remember these things, or someday the pain wouldn’t fade away.
Another time.
Another worry. Every problem can wait its turn.
“Would
you like to ride my horse?” He asked the boy gently. Someday this
child would grow up with the knowledge that an Illyrian had been kind
to him. Such a little thing, but it might be enough to change his
entire life. This child would not grow up hating Illyria as
merciless conquerors, he would not grow up to be the source of yet
another, endless cycle of war, because he would always remember that
there were kind Illyrians, too.
The
boy eyed Marcellus, then at the towering horse, with wariness.
Marcellus smiled. “Think how proud your mother will be, to see her
son so brave.” The boy’s eyes widened in surprise, wondering how
Marcellus knew he had a mother. It was such a comical look that
Marcellus could not help but smile in earnest. His sons were too old
to be amused by. He missed that. But now they were old enough to be
challenging and inspiring. Qualities that far surpassed the ones
that came before. Finally the boy nodded, and Marcellus nodded in
return. He stood—slowly—and picked the boy up under his arms,
tossing him onto Vale’s back. Vale gave Marcellus a glare, but was
tired of getting slapped for the day and did nothing more. Marcellus
nodded at the horse in appreciation. Maybe it had finally learned
who was the master of their partnership.
“What
should I tell the marshals?” Fabius asked.
“Whatever
you want.” Marcellus waived the matter aside as negligible. “When
I return, it won’t matter anyway. I will return with peace.”
The young boy clung to Marcellus’ waist as he kicked Vale into a
canter. He doubted he would have to go far, but he wanted to return
before nightfall to keep the Legion from worrying. The last thing he
needed was a rescue mission.
“What’s
your name, boy?” Marcellus asked kindly.
The
boy seemed to be deciding between terror and exaltation. “Varrus.”
He answered.
“A
strong name.” Marcellus praised. An Illyrian name. “Where am I
going, Varrus?”
The
boy snapped to attention. “You’ll want to make for those woods.
Do you see them?”
Marcellus
answered by turning his horse for the woods. “Will they be
surprised?”
“No.”
Varrus replied confidently. “Father’s never—“ Then his
mouth clamped shut. Marcellus could feel the boy’s murderous stare
on his back, though he couldn’t see it. You
made me think you were a good man, but then you used my feelings to
steal my secrets. Marcellus
couldn’t explain to this boy that he hadn’t meant to steal
anyone’s secrets. Denying it would only make the boy more assured
that it was true. Why couldn’t anything be easy? But then, why
should Varrus trust him? He had lied to his own son. He had no
right to expect anyone’s trust. There was a sinking feeling in his
chest, his heart crushed with the weight of his own sins. Everything
I do goes wrong. Everything I touch withers and dies.
Why should anyone
trust me with anything? From
there on, Varrus only gave him short commands to turn left or right.
He seemed to appreciate the silence. Perhaps the mistake was not
irredeemable after all.
“You
have to dismount here.” The boy explained, shakily trying to get
off on his own.
Marcellus
dismounted and held out his arms to help the boy. “Here.”
Varrus gave him a blank look and jumped off on his own. The horse
snorted in protest. Vale probably hated him more than anyone.
Marcellus sighed and dropped his arms. Everything
goes wrong. A
gloomy cast came over his face.
“You
have to wear this.” Varrus explained, pulling out a blindfold.
Marcellus quirked an eyebrow questioningly. “It’s for your
safety as well. We don’t let people live if they see us.”
Marcellus nodded and took the blindfold. “Take my hand.” Varrus
commanded. His small hand was cold to the touch, guiding him the
next hundred paces.
“Back
so soon?” A gruff man asked. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to
round up the general.”
“Where
is he?” Marcellus asked. He refused to be treated as an object
just because he couldn’t see.
“Wouldn’t
you like to know?” Another voice said, and a crowd began laughing
in agreement.
“I
would like to know. That is why I asked.” Marcellus responded.
He thought there were maybe twenty men standing in front of him.
Ridiculous. The general was running around with only twenty men as
protection? There camp had to be nearby. But then again, his scouts
had never found trace of an armed camp anywhere near. But twenty men
could camp on the Legion’s doorstep and they would never know. It
scared Marcellus because he had never fought such an enemy. Always
Marcellus could see into his opponent’s mind, use his own tactics
against him, lure him into stupid mistakes. He could make the enemy
attack him when he wanted, how he wanted, where he wanted. Because
he understood the enemy. He didn’t understand anything about this
general. He wouldn’t ever attack. Or defend. He was fighting a
bloodless war. The blindfold around his eyes was nothing to how
blind he felt planning this campaign.
“I’m
sorry,” a clean voice came, perhaps a marshal just arriving at the
scene. “We don’t know ourselves. A messenger came this morning
and the general said he had to take care of some business.”
“So
I should just stand here blindfolded until he arrives?” Marcellus
asked.
“That
won’t be necessary.” A voice came from behind. Something oddly
familiar about it. He tried to place the voice, but it could fit too
many men. It sounded Lucian. Marcellus turned around to confront
his Ghost. “Is this what you call courtesy? Asking for me alone
and blindfolded?”
“It
isn’t, at that.” The Lucian admitted. “I could take off the
blindfold if you wish.”
“Varrus
here felt it was for my own safety.” Marcellus replied.
The
Lucian laughed. “Did he, now?”
“I’m
sorry,” Varrus apologized to the general.
“There
is something you should know, Marcellus. Once upon a time, the First
Legion surrendered to our army. They had been starving in their
encampment for a month straight, not able to send out any men for
forage or supplies. Whoever they sent, we lined their bodies up at
their gate in the morning. They were brave men, we thought they
should have a proper burial amongst their friends.”
“I
thank you for that.” Marcellus said coldly.
“I
came to accept their surrender, and the Consul and his marshals
attacked me. They thought that if only I died, they could still
somehow prevail. I had to kill all eight of them.”
“They
should not have broken truce.” Marcellus said coldly.
“Perhaps
you are thinking the same thing.” The Lucian continued.
“I
am not.” Marcellus replied.
“I
had some business to take care of. Bandits terrorizing the
countryside. The more you kill, the more seem to appear to take
their place.” The general continued. Marcellus knew that voice.
Knew it from somewhere. He tried to think of all the Lucians he had
ever met. It was no good. He was too old to remember such things.
“This is the legacy Illyria brought me. Why should I want peace
with it?”
“If
you wish to negotiate, you will take off my blindfold.” Marcellus
answered.
“How
can I trust you?” The Lucian asked.
“If
you wish, my son serves in this legion. He will be your
safekeeping.” Marcellus’ voice had become very flat.
“And
if you believe my life is worth your son’s?”
“Obviously
you have never had a son.”
There
was a short silence, and then the blindfold was taken off Marcellus’
face. The Lucian stood with his hand cupped around Varrus’ at his
side. “He will be nine this summer.”
Marcellus’
eyes widened in recognition. “Sertorius.” All the different
traces came together with the flashing brilliance of insight. Of
course it was Sertorius. Of course it had to have been him all
along. He couldn’t believe how long it had taken him. His only
excuse was a rotting brain with a dusty memory.
“Hello,
Marcellus.” Sertorius actually smiled warmly. “It has been a
long time.”
Chapter 9.
“Too
long, apparently.” Marcellus agreed. His face was clamped in the
gloomy mask of battle, but there was a certain amount of relief in
seeing the marshal alive again.
“But
here, let me make up for earlier.” Sertorius begged. “Come to
dinner with us. I have so much to tell you.”
“You
cannot hope I will join your rebellion.” Marcellus stated firmly.
Sertorius
waved that aside as irrelevant, guiding him to the dinner table.
“How long has it been, Consul? Fifteen years since we stormed the
walls of Taigin?”
Marcellus
sat down to eat. Whatever Sertorius and he had shared, that was over
now. Today they were enemies, and Sertorius must know that. Except,
today they were both allies in their search for peace. So perhaps
Sertorius was doing well after all. “I recall you told Maximus to
his face in front of the entire Legion that it was the greatest
military blunder in history.”
Sertorius
laughed. “Maximus! Ah, when I saw the fire in his eyes after
that, I was afraid he would set me aflame with sheer anger.”
“Open
disrespect tears down the authority of the Consul. Many people could
have died for the lack of confidence you inspired. Many more people
could have died if that lack of confidence had cost us defeat.”
“You
knew it was a blunder.” Sertorius parried. “We all knew, but he
wouldn’t listen.”
“I
did not voice my objections in front of the Legion.” Marcellus
pointed out judiciously.
“Which
is why I stand here today, and you stand there, Maximus’ proud
successor.”
“Who
can know why anyone stands anywhere on any day?” Marcellus asked.
“Only Illyria could see a design to my life, much less the lives of
everyone together. I seek only to align myself with Her will.”
“I
don’t see any design to Lucia in flames.” Sertorius countered.
“And if you come as a conqueror at the head of Legions ‘aligned
with Her will’, then She is only my enemy.”
“I
come as no conqueror.” Marcellus said. “I came for peace, and I
am the only one
who came for peace. If you do not deal with me, Sertorius, Lucia
will be buried in Illyrian arms.”
“After
Maximus dismissed me from the Legion to carry out his conquest of the
world—you know he would have tried had he only lived long enough—I
tried to understand some things, Marcellus. I thought about how the
Legions fought, and why they won. And I thought about how the
barbarians fought, and why they lost. I suppose Fabius is still with
you? Well, no matter. I studied you two the most, and I came to a
startling realization.”
“What
is that?”
“Wars
are incredibly stupid.” Sertorius laughed, eating his food without
another care. “What were we fighting for? Wealth? Land?
People?”
“For
the glory of Illyria, and the betterment of all those under Her
wing.” Marcellus supplied helpfully.
“Yes
yes that’s all very well.” Sertorius scoffed. “But once I
figured out that wars are stupid, I finally understood why people
fight wars the way they do.”
“How?”
Marcellus prompted.
“War
is a game.” Sertorius answered. “The players enjoy it for the
sake of playing. The soldiers love it for the sake of fighting. War
is a game played by a very few people who enjoy it. Like swimming.
Or wrestling. Or boxing. Just another game.”
“I
deny that.” Marcellus said simply.
“It
surprised me at first too.” Sertorius forgave. “But only after
I realized that did all the rest make sense. In your world,
Marcellus, all truth bends around a falsehood, warping and twisting
your whole life out of place. Out of alignment, you would say. And
it would be so obvious to you, except that you need
to believe the
falsehood to be true. Why? Because only that falsehood gives value
and purpose to your life. You have to believe you were fighting for
something. If you don’t, the gaping void of truth would open up
and devour you for all the suffering you’ve caused. If you ever
admitted you did it for love of the game, then you would know your
heart blacker than the worst killer. Blacker a thousand times over.
The worst sinner this world has ever known.”
“Sertorius.”
Marcellus snapped. “I did not come here for you to chatter.”
“But
I will chatter,
sir.” Sertorius glared. “Because I want you to understand this.
Not just for you, but for all the other innocents that will
eventually fall beneath your blade. I want you to understand this so
that no more Lucias will cake your boots with blood and ashes.”
“You
think this is my fault?” Marcellus looked amazed.
“Yours
and all those who think like you!” Sertorius accused passionately.
“You and all your bloody soldiers and commanders and their bloody
games.”
“I
did not come here to be insulted.”
“Then
shut up
and just listen! You wish to align yourself with the Goddess? Well
what stops the Goddess from showing you Truth through me? What stops
the Goddess from granting your prayer by showing you the way you need
to take? Are you really so sure that everything you do is right?
Are you really that arrogant?”
Marcellus
began to listen.
“Things
begin to make sense one you realize war is a game. Why did Maximus
lay siege to Taigin for two years when the rest of Lucia fell in less
than one? We could have gone around, left Taigin sitting alone
surrounded and helpless. We all knew we should go around.”
“It
was a mistake.” Marcellus explained.
“But
it wasn’t.”
Sertorius answered emphatically. “I finally realized that it was
actually the exact
right thing to
do—if you
viewed war as a game. Was Maximus going to let Taigin beat him? Was
Maximus the Great going to lose a single battle? Was he going to
retreat though he had the strongest army in the world? Was he going
to let Taigin win?
Not Maximus. He knew it was a game, and he played to win. No
matter what it cost. He didn’t care about the land or the people
or the Goddess or anything. He just lived to play. Think about it:
we all admired Maximus’ devotion to the campaign. He never lost
himself in the luxury afforded by his victories. He would send all
the spoils back to Scamander, eating poorly, dressing poorly, and
living poorly without a care for all the riches we gained. He hardly
wasted a week before he had found another battle, another campaign,
another march to make. Once Lucia was conquered, he simply turned
the Legion around and headed for Mania. He would have kept marching
north until he reached the horizon. None of it mattered to him, the
land or the people or the wealth. Just the battle. He just loved
the battle.”
“Perhaps
that was true of Maximus.” Marcellus admitted. It did make sense,
however gratingly.
“No,
Marcellus, the only difference is that Maximus was not a hypocrite.
He did not hide behind causes and words and screens like the rest of
you. It is true of all of you, but Maximus is the one commander who
understood. Did you ever hear him say why
we were conquering
Lucia? Did he ever make a speech about how much better things would
be after the war? Did he ever talk about bringing light to the
darkness, or the Goddess’ blood into the Ogres? He never said a
word of it, because he knew it was all lies you fed yourself to keep
the blood from your hands.”
“How
is it a lie?” Marcellus challenged.
“Because
of the nature of war.” Sertorius said. “I studied the nature of
war, and anyone else who does will see the exact same thing. Not the
conduct of war, not the strategy of war, the nature.
Ask yourself, what is
war?”
“Armed
conflict.” Marcellus supplied.
Sertorius
laughed. “Yes, I suppose it is. A very few armed people
conflicting with a very few armed opponents. There are probably a
hundred and fifty million people between the three nations, and who
knows how many barbarians. We’ll give Illyria fifty million, just
to be simple. Our Legions are ten thousand
men. All together,
counting the levies and the auxiliaries, Illyria might marshal a
million men. And we both know most of them would be worth less than
the supplies it costs to support them. Really, the ten legions, the
hundred thousand standing army, is the whole of Illyria’s warring
populace.”
“What
of it?” Marcellus prompted. For some reason he was interested,
though he hoped Sertorius would not notice. It was the passion in
the man’s eyes. It was because Marcellus had always remembered
Sertorius to be a genius. In the end, it was because he respected
the man and thus also his opinions. And for some reason, what he
said made sense. He wanted to know what Sertorius wanted to say.
“That
is one out of every five hundred people who ever fight.” Sertorius
went on. “In any particular war, a handful determine the fate of
the entire nation. A few thousand determine the victory or defeat of
all Lucia. Of all Mania. Of all Illyria. All one hundred thousand
will never see battle. Only a few Legions at best, and most of the
people in any given Legion will never actually fight either. Most of
them will simply run if they are losing, or pursue if they are
winning, without ever lifting a hand. A handful, Marcellus, are the
only people who ever
fight in any war.
The rest of them are just imaginary numbers. It was never so obvious
as when I fought the First Legion. A few hundred at best were brave
enough to fight us, the rest huddled inside the walls and refused to
face their opponent. Even though we were starving them, they would
not come out. Even when they had me basically alone with the entire
Legion when I came to accept their surrender—after I killed the
eight commanders, the rest of the Legion would not fight. Instead
they surrendered, like the battle had never even happened. Only
eight people in the entire Legion would actually fight.”
Marcellus
didn’t understand what he was saying. So what if only a few people
fought? It was like proving a point that had nothing to do with the
point you wanted to prove. Building a staircase to the sky.
“If
war does all the things you believe—bring light to the darkness,
glorify Illyria, better people’s lives. If war is the most
powerful and dramatic tool for good, why is it that only a handful of
people, a few thousand, out of one hundred and fifty million,
actually use it?”
“As
you said, war is too expensive to field large armies.”
“No
no no.” Sertorius sighed. “Here, why don’t women fight?”
“Some
do.” Marcellus would not be trapped so easily.
“Exactly!”
Sertorius exclaimed. “Which women fight, Sertorius? A very few
whose mindset is
nominal for war.
Perhaps you would say, a very few who have the military
virtues—stoicism, courage, loyalty?”
“Yes,
the few who are natural warriors.” Marcellus still didn’t see
where Sertorius was going.
“You
could say these few women are better suited to war than the loom?”
Marcellus nodded.
“That
these women would actually be more at home on the battlefield?”
Marcellus nodded.
“That
they are proud and happy to be warriors?” Marcellus paused, then
nodded.
“Are
all men proud and happy to be warriors?” Marcellus shook his head.
“So
again only some men are natural warriors?” Marcellus nodded.
“And
these natural warriors, of both sexes, all share a sense of
well-being in their natural setting? Just as a natural weaver would
enjoy weaving? Or a natural cobbler would enjoy cobbling?”
Marcellus nodded.
“Who
fights in a battle? Those who were conscripted? The cowardly, the
mild, the effeminate?” Marcellus shook his head.
“So
regardless of who you dress up to fight, only the natural warriors
end up fighting?”
“Now
you have gone too far.” Marcellus objected. “Many people will
fight if they are forced to, though they are not naturally suited to
it.”
“So
anyone will fight if they are forced to? Even the mildest women and
children?”
“If
they are forced to, yes. Or else they’ll die.”
“So
if they don’t fight, it is because they aren’t forced to?”
Marcellus finally nodded.
“And
in war, only the natural warriors end up fighting?”
“In
most wars.” Marcellus finally admitted.
“So
they don’t fight because they are forced to?” Marcellus nodded.
“So
they fight because they want to?”
“Someone
has to fight.”
Marcellus objected. “If they don’t, then others would
be forced to, only
they wouldn’t fight as well. They are fighting so that others
aren’t forced
to.”
Sertorius
paused as if taken aback. Well,
maybe Sertorius didn’t know where he was going either.
“Let’s
look at this another way.” Sertorius sighed. “What do people
want?”
“As
many things as the stars.” Marcellus responded.
“To
love and be loved.” Sertorius stated authoritatively.
“But
that’s just one among many—“
“No,
Marcellus. It is the one thing above all. Our reason for living.
Imagine yourself severed from every tie you have with the world, and
every hope of ever forming another. Does anyone
wish to live after
that? Do you just replace love with one thing or another, or is all
life nothing but dust and ashes without love to lend it flavor?”
“I
don’t see how I could be severed from all
ties—“
“Just
imagine.” Sertorius snapped. “It would be worse than death! To
live alone and unloved, with anything else you desire, is worse than
dying loving and loved, with nothing else but that.”
“What
does this have to do with anything?” Marcellus finally objected.
“So
why does someone have to fight?” Sertorius asked. “That’s
my point,
Marcellus.”
“To
protect what they need.”
“Yes,
which is why anyone will fight when forced.” Sertorius treated
that as negligible. “But in war the stakes are almost never that
high. In most wars, only the warriors bother to fight. Which proves
the war was not that essential to win in the first place. For most
people, it wouldn’t matter who won or lost, because they’re happy
weaving under any flag. They’re happy cobbling under any law.
They’re happy loving and being loved regardless of who wins the
war.”
“This
is ridiculous. If wars were meaningless, then why is all history
defined by war?”
“Great
sweeping wars, wars upon wars upon wars until the dawn of time.”
Sertorius said. “We have been fighting wars since the beginning,
and we still will be until the end. And it wouldn’t make any
difference who won which war when for Joe the weaver or Mac the
cobbler.”
“When
I marched into Scamander, the whole million cheered me as a hero.”
Marcellus pointed out.
“Just
like the millions cheer on the winners of the Games? Just like the
wreaths given to the best boxer? Or swimmer? Or wrestler? There
are only a few wrestlers, but a great many spectators of wrestling.
Only a few warriors, but a great many who love to watch the game.”
“This
is ridiculous. People fight to get what they want, which could be
wealth, land, people, or anything under the sun. Other people fight
to protect what they have, and so the war begins. In every case, a
war will be an aggressor and a defender. Not two sportsmen. No one
fights for the fun of it.”
“Everyone
but natural warriors achieves their desires, ‘get what they want’,
without fighting.”
Sertorius replied. “The reason why warriors can’t is because
fighting is what they actually want.”
“The
whole nation fights by arming and training its best and brightest to
achieve what is best for the whole nation. We are only the nation’s
sword, but all the people wield it.”
“I
will tell you what an entire nation looks like when it’s at war.”
Sertorius fumed. He stood up from the dinner table with no food
left on his plate. “This, my friend, is real
war.” He
gestured at his camp. “This is how people fight when they are
forced to, when it is no longer a game.”
“You
are the defender.” Marcellus acknowledged.
“We
fight because we have to. We fight because otherwise we would have
died. But what are you here to fight for?”
“I’m
not here to fight at all.” Marcellus sighed wearily.
“Let’s
be plain, Consul. I have been fighting for my homeland for the past
year. First it was mercenaries, then bandits, then legionnaires.
Now more legionnaires, though I’ve managed to turn the First Legion
against the bandits. I’m running out of strength, I’m running
out of ability, and there are always more Legions. We both know this
is a war I cannot win.”
“This
is a war neither of us can win.” Marcellus agreed.
“You’re
missing the point, Marcellus. Lucia cannot defeat all of Illyria,
but Illyria will still be defeated. I have razed the crops and
slaughtered the livestock, fouled the water and salted the land, to
kill you and any Legions that follow. Lucia will still live,
though.”
“As
a memory of valor?” Marcellus scoffed. “No life is worse than
death. Stop now and crops can still be planted for the winter. You
can still turn back, Sertorius.”
“Necia
has promised to supply us through the winter, and to continue
supplying us until we are free.” Sertorius’ eyes took on a gleam
of triumph. “Necia is willing to equip and supply our army, and
support our people, so long as we bleed Illyria white.”
Marcellus
only stared for a moment. “You must know what this means.”
“I
know what they think it means.” Sertorius countered. “There is
an Illyrian fable, of a rabbit screaming and cornered by a wolf. A
bear hears the screams and comes to eat the rabbit himself, and the
wolf and bear fight it out while the rabbit skips away.”
“Invite
a bear to stop a wolf, yes. But then what? A lion to stop a bear?
And who will defeat your lion?” Marcellus asked hotly. “Through
all history, involving a foreign power into a domestic struggle has
resulted in the invasion of that foreign power and the doom of both
sides. When
brothers quarrel they know better than to involve the neighbors.
When neighbors quarrel with brothers, the brothers come together
despite their differences. That is survival.
That is wisdom,
the wisdom all people know and follow in all their lives. And yet
you have defied it all, thrown it all away just for the slightest
chance of victory?”
“I
have done the best I can.” Sertorius shrugged. “Perhaps another
could have done better. I don’t care if Necia sees this as a
chance to conquer Illyria. It’s just another war. It would have
happened sooner or later, because both of your hearts are dominated
by the lust for it. If you weren’t fighting Necia tomorrow, it
would be Datia. If not Datia, then the frontier. And if no other
land, then you’ll just fight yourself. You will fight all your
life, just like Maximus. The wars will never end because people
don’t want them to. And every time you’ll make up some reason
for why this war has to be fought, and every time the women and
children will suffer and die to satisfy your games.”
“This
is the voice of despair.” Marcellus realized. “This is Zakine’s
hymn. And you? You are a dog of sorrow.”
Sertorius
laughed. “Your Legion dies if I but give the word, and you insult
me?”
“The
truth is only an insult if the insult is true.”
“Let
me give you truth.”
Sertorius returned. “If this invasion of Lucia continues, I will
be forced to call
upon Necian aid. If you do not march back the way you came, you,
your son, and your Legion will die. If you don’t stop Illyria from
sending more legions, this entire world will be bathed in blood. It
will make Lucia look like a drop in an ocean. You came for peace?
Good. Except you thought peace would mean my surrender. Well here
are the terms of
your surrender:
Lucia is a province of Illyria, well and good. The First Legion
remains here to keep the peace, under my
Consulship. That
shouldn’t be a problem considering their Consul is dead. All of
the laws that govern Lucia are revoked until a popular assembly can
form a constitution which Illyria must respect as the law of the
land. Any reprisals in trading agreements or otherwise will be seen
as an act of war and a violation of our treaty.”
“Illyrian
law is supreme throughout Illyria. Taxes must be paid.” Marcellus
required.
“Lucia
is willing to comply to the same laws as Illyria’s citizens. We
wish for equal standing and equal protection. This is a republic,
not an empire. We are a state, not a province. We are not a
conquered tributary state. We are a free people who are part of the
republic from our own free will.”
“Agreed.”
Marcellus said. The two might have stood silently for a minute
after that word.
“You
can’t be serious.” Sertorius finally protested. “The Senate
will never ratify such a treaty.”
“A
Consul’s treaty stands until and unless the Senate revokes it.”
Marcellus cited. “And such a revocation by law also counts as an
order of resignation for such a Consul. If the Senate does not
ratify this treaty, they will do so without me to handle the
consequences. Either way you win, Sertorius.”
Sertorius
looked at him for a long time. “Why are you doing this? Risking
your own neck for Lucia?”
Marcellus
sighed. “Illyria can’t afford a war with Necia. I am willing to
sign any treaty you give me to prevent that. And if there is anyone
intelligent left in the Senate, they will do the same.”
“Then
it seems we have found peace after all.” Sertorius still sounded
incredulous. Marcellus laughed at the word. Peace.
If peace meant juggling five hot coals with bare hands in a granary
full of dry wheat aching to burst into flame, then yes. They’d
found peace after all.
“Tell
me something,” Marcellus asked. “Did you really defeat eight
men alone?”
“I
heard you defeated ten while protecting Maximus.”
“If
‘defeat’ means huddling beneath your shield under blows like
rainfall.” Marcellus grinned. The scars snaking across his back
twinged in memory.
“Well
it helps to fight men who haven’t eaten in a month, too.”
Sertorius smiled wryly. The two clasped wrists with the friendship
of days long past and the respect of the present. Two great men
struggling to bring sanity to an insane world, and more than likely
both knowing the attempt was doomed from the start. But that didn’t
stop them from trying.
“The
histories don’t have to know that, though.” Sertorius winked.
And Marcellus laughed.
Chapter 10.
Jania
hummed a tune as she dipped the rag reverently into the milk jar. It
was a wordless melody, which didn’t bother to change or skip. When
it came time to hum a new bar, one was as good as another, and if she
couldn’t think of a new one she just repeated the old. Music was
an eternal presence in her home, and it was the constant comfort of
her baby and secretly even herself. It didn’t have to be a grand
performance, it just had to be.
So long as there was music, nothing could be all that wrong with the
world. She brought the rag out after it had gathered only a small
amount of milk, let it drip until it was ready to be moved, and then
brought the small white cloth to the life cradled in her arms. The
baby looked at her weakly, not capable of concentration on any object
for longer than a moment. Then his eyes would drift away, lost in a
blur of fuzzy light, never seeing something and knowing it to be
seen. Never knowing that the world was made of separate objects and
people, incapable of differentiating them. The baby was happy, in a
way only Jania could feel. She knew the baby liked her humming,
liked being in her arms. It was so small Jania didn’t even feel
its weight. She wouldn’t have even noticed if the baby had
disappeared until she looked down again. She tilted the baby’s
head gently, then let the tiny end of the rag touch its lips. It was
too weak to suckle, to hold on and to bring the milk out under its
own power. But it still felt the rag’s wet touch, and still let
the milk drip in bit by bit. It took hours, but Jania did not notice
the time pass. However long it took to feed her baby. That was all
that mattered. That the baby was still alive. That she had kept it
alive and it hadn’t died yet even though it was so weak it made her
cry just to look at it.
The
baby made a small sound, a sort of coo. It moved an arm a bit to
touch her shirt. The slightest feather’s breath of a touch reached
her breast beneath. Jania hummed encouragingly, dipping the rag back
into the milk. The baby was still alive, so it could still live. No
one could dispute that logic. She refused to let her baby die. It
had hurt too much, she had given too much, for the baby to die now.
Illyria, mother of
us all, grant a mother’s prayer. Only that it lives. I ask only
that my baby lives another day. Another hour. I will pray every
hour just to have another hour.
“It
moved.” Publius marveled. And Jania remembered there was a world
outside of her baby and her. “He’s been so quiet.”
“He’s
like that.” Jania replied quietly. There was a rush of happiness
that someone else had recognized that the baby really was alive. The
baby moved, and someone noticed. My
baby just changed another person’s life. My baby makes an impact.
“How
long does he lie there?” Publius was quickly growing restless with
the monotony. He had only been here an hour, and he was already
tired of it. Jania wondered how he would feel if she told him this
was her life. Probably he would feel sorry for her. But then, he
wasn’t a mother coaxing life into her tiny baby.
“He
doesn’t notice.” She explained. “He can’t tell. He’s
always lying somewhere.” Jania dipped the rag back into Joshua’s
lips. She had given Jacob a son. He’d been so proud. So
relieved. So very scared. She had been terrified. It had taken so
long, and hurt so much. She thought she would bleed to death. She
had bled so much. Like a river. She hadn’t known she had that
much blood. Her body was still frail, her cheeks sunken and her body
pale. But the light was still in her eyes. That beautiful light
that came out from her face and filled the entire room. That blue
light that still pierced Jacob’s heart whenever he looked upon her.
She was alive, and Joshua was alive, so all was well. She would
have bled twice as much for Illyria, so long as the end result was
the granting of her prayer.
“But
doesn’t he. . .I don’t know. . .don’t you ever want to put him
down? Go do something?”
“I
don’t mind.” She answered with a tiny smile. The baby’s eyes
were fluttering, ready to sleep. It was probably tired from feeding.
But she imagined he was less tired than yesterday. She imagined how
much stronger he was now. How strong he would someday be. How her
little Joshua would grow up to be Jacob’s delight, and he wouldn’t
just look at it and leave the room with that awful silent look.
“But
surely a slave could care for it. You liked to weave in the fall. I
remember you used to weave such pretty blankets.” Publius was
searching for some good work that could validate her existence.
Jania wondered if that’s what boys thought. That unless you were
doing something, you weren’t really alive. Maybe that’s why they
always caused trouble, just so that they could have something to do.
To Jania, Publius was the being without true existence. He was
attached to no one. There was no one awaiting his return, no babe of
his in someone’s arms. How could he live all alone? That wasn’t
life.
“When
are you going to marry, Publius?” Jania asked, rocking the baby
ever so slightly to sleep. It was always quiet, so she didn’t have
to deal with all the crying and squealing most mother’s complained
about. Jania would have given anything. . .she would have cut off
both her arms. . .if only she could complain about how loud her baby
cried. But she didn’t want to think about that.
“Marry?”
Publius stopped pacing, startled.
“Yes,
Publius. You’re older than me. When do you plan to marry?”
“I
can’t marry.” Publius responded, as though the very thought had
not occurred to him. “I don’t even know anyone.”
“Why
don’t you meet someone?” She pursued.
“I
don’t have time for. . .” He made a vague gesture that included
everything. “Besides, what good would I be to anyone? I’d just
always be gone like father. Or dead. What use is a dead husband to
anyone? She’d just have lost her chance to find a real home.”
“So
why do you fight? Why not quit, and make a real home?”
“I
have to fight.” Publius stated.
“But
what about a family?”
“The
Legion is my
family.”
“But
what about--?”
“The
Legion is my
family.” He repeated emphatically. Jania sighed. Maybe boys just
couldn’t understand. Why did they live for things that weren’t
even real? They could be so happy if they just lived for each other.
It was stupid.
“Where’s
Jacob?” Publius finally asked, beginning to pace again.
“At
sea, of course.” Jania answered. Maybe it was true, that
daughters grew up wishing to marry their fathers. Jacob had
certainly mastered father’s ability to never be home. It hurt him
being at home. She thought maybe it hurt him to look at her and see
how weak she was. She thought it hurt him most how weak his baby
was. But she wished he would come back anyway. She hated telling
people he was away, he was away, that yes everything was fine but no
he wasn’t here. She hated not having him at night. Hated how he
didn’t care how it hurt her when he was gone most of all.
“I
haven’t even seen him since the wedding.” Publius remarked.
“And
what would you say if he were here?” Jania asked, smiling sweetly.
Publius
shrugged. “Something nice.”
“I’ll
tell him that.” Jania promised. “When next he drops in for a
visit, I’ll tell him he should be here more often for when you drop
in for a visit, because—gosh!--you have something nice to say.”
Publius
gave her an odd look. “Are you angry with me?”
“No,
brother.” Jania sighed. “Not you.”
“Is
he treating you well?” Publius was suddenly alert.
“Of
course he is.” Jania said firmly. “Ah, just forgive a lonely
wife’s heart. I did not mean to scare you. Please, I’m just
tired.” She did not bother to explain the sort of tired she was.
He wouldn’t have understood.
“Of
course.” Publius said, waving it away. “If you’re tired,
though—“ He said, seeing his escape. Asking permission to
escape. That was the way with families. They never chose to be
together, but they felt guilty if they weren’t. Like they were
required to care. It was stupid. If he was only here out of some
sense of owing it
to her, how was that supposed to make her feel any better? Now he
would resent her for forcing him to do something he didn’t want to
do. To feel something he didn’t feel. He would resent her for
making him live a lie. That’s why he was pacing like a caged
animal. He was trapped in a costume he hated wearing, and he wanted
to be free of it and return to himself. This visitor was a fake
Publius, and all he wanted was to be real again. Free to be himself.
He was asking her if he could drop the charade and just leave.
Jania wondered if anyone enjoyed being with her anymore. She looked
down at her little Joshua. There
was a love unquestionably
pure. He just had to live.
Just
then Marcellus came crashing through the door, his old body animated
with a sense of disaster. Jania stood up shielding her baby.
Publius grabbed for his sword with an oath.
“Publius, get your stuff.
We’re going.” He nodded to Jania without really noticing her.
“What
is it?” Publius managed as he yanked his coat over his arms.
“Sertorius
is dead. Necia claims we killed him to reinstall the old rules.
They’re already marching on Lucia, and being greeted as
liberators.”
“They
killed him?
Are they mad?” Publius sputtered.
“Illyria
knows it was hard enough getting the Senate not to start the war
themselves.” Marcellus spoke with a sense of incredible fatigue.
“At least we’ll be the defender. Sertorius can’t begrudge me
that.” Marcellus said the last part to himself.
“War
with Necia, father?” Jania stood very still. “And what will we
eat?”
“Perhaps
Mania has enough grain. It’s no matter, our House will not
starve.”
“And
my husband?” She asked.
“Perhaps
it were best if you do not mention him.” Marcellus advised. Jania
nodded, cursing Mahara all the while. The two left in a flash,
suddenly important people doing important things, with no time left
for their family. Why was Necia attacking Illyria? Jania asked
herself as she stood alone with her baby asleep at her bosom. Here
she stood, the wife of a Necian, with his babe in her arms. Why were
they attacking her? She hadn’t done anything to them. Yet now
Necia would try to kill her, if not by the sword then by starvation.
And most of all by choking out the city they would kill all the old
and infirm, all the young children who couldn’t afford to go
without food. That reminded her to find a slave to watch over the
baby as he slept. But the problem dogged her from the bath to the
bed. What was Necia’s goal? To increase its holdings? To grow?
Was it really easier to grow at Illyria’s expense, than to just
grow what they already had? And what did it mean to own people who
weren’t even loyal? Surely if Necia wanted more slaves they could
just take the Jinni. Or did they want the land, so that they could
replace Illyrians with Necians? But that was ridiculous. Necia made
more food than their population twice over, they were the leading
exporter of corn and wheat in the whole world. What did they need
more land for if they could already support themselves? Perhaps they
wanted the wealth of Lucia’s smithies and horses without needing to
trade for it. But then, wouldn’t they still trade for it within
their own people? The smiths and horse trainers would still have to
be paid for their work, Necian or Illyrian. Or were they growing for
Necia’s sake? To give their goddess sway over Illyria? But the
three goddesses had worked together to form the earth. To praise one
was to praise the other. What did it matter which name one called
upon? Maybe they thought Illyria held vast riches and wished to take
them, so that fine jewelry could adorn the bodies of their ladies?
Were they really warring over whose women wore the finer jewelry?
She wondered if all the Necian wives had urged their husbands to risk
their lives for that jewelry. She wondered if the Necian wives had
called upon their men to leave families an assemblage of widows and
orphans so that they could wear more stones. Necia had much to gain,
in wealth and land and glory and slaves, if only Illyria did not
defend itself. But surely they knew that Illyria’s Legions were
the strongest in the world? That father had used only one to butcher
forty thousand Ogres in an hour?
Jania
lay in bed, fingering a band of red cloth restlessly. Necia could
gain wealth and land and people and glory and fame in conquering
Illyria. The only reason that stopped anyone from going to war was
if it were too expensive. A defender had
to defend, with
everything, over any little thing. Because only by showing that war
was too expensive would people ever stop warring. If Necia had
kidnapped a single Illyrian girl, millions of Illyrian men would go
to war and die for her. Only that irrational response was enough to
dissuade the wolves and jackals of the world that they should seek an
easier meal elsewhere. A defender was never to blame for a war. If
Illyria had surrendered Lucia, it would only have had to fight for
itself the next season, and this time at a much worse disadvantage.
And if it surrendered itself totally without a fight, Necia would
ravage and spoil the land and the people without a single care
because, after all, they weren’t Necians.
Surrender was suicide. Those left alive would be enslaved, and all
their future generations would be slaves and wretches until they were
willing to go to war for their freedom. Only the willingness to
fight for freedom could preserve freedom.
But
then, for the past fifty years Illyria had been conquering Lucia and
Mania from the Ogres. Indeed, the entire history of Illyria was
growth through conquest. Their military prowess was the pride of the
nation. It was the source of Illyria’s wealth, their undefeatable
legions always stretching the frontier. Had they been evil in going
to war? Should they have remained a tiny city, prey for some other
predator? For if one was not conquering one was being conquered.
All the peoples of the world wished to grow, and none of them cared
for one another. Scamander would simply have lost its role as the
center of Illyria. Some other people, some other nation, would be
the capital now. And perhaps that nation would be less just and less
free than the republic Illyria had granted all its people. Illyria
had conquered people, but had always given them justice and freedom,
so that the conquered in the space of a generation were the next wave
of Illyria’s conquerors. How could Illyria be decried as evil for
its wars? When its wars had created something so great for so many?
History was always the strong replacing the weak. It was always the
progression of the strong to stronger. If there was no war, humanity
would still live like the dogs of the dawntime, hunting deer with
snapping jaws through the winter snow. If there was no method for
the strong to inherit what their strength could gain, then humanity
could never have been stronger than the animals they had ran beside.
The only bad war, then, was if an aggressor were not stronger than
the defender. Only then was the war a waste. And the only way to
condemn the war as bad was if the defender had already won the war.
All wars were wise until proven foolish.
Jania
smiled at that, and knew all her thinking had led her to a conclusion
she knew to be a farce. She must have forgotten something. There
must be some other way for the strong to conquer than war. But it
was too late to go back again and start over. She wished Jacob were
here to talk to. She wished he were here so they could fall asleep
in each other’s arms and not have to worry about the world and its
wars. And with thoughts of him on her mind, she drifted to sleep.
Jania
felt the wood beneath her bare feet before she felt the familiar sway
and rush of the sea. She had not been on a ship since her pregnancy,
but it was a wondrous feeling. Of sitting still and yet moving like
the wind. She had stood at the prow and laughed while the seawater
drenched her in its swells. She had stood at the prow, the water
plastering her clothing to her body, and enjoyed feeling his
eyes on her. The
power of the ship to conquer the oceans, the power of her body to
seize his heart, it was all the same delicious warmth that kept her
laughing with delight. Now she was finally back, though she couldn’t
remember how or why. It didn’t matter. She was on the ship, which
meant Jacob must have wanted to be with her again. Which meant Jacob
must be somewhere near. She relearned how to walk on the swaying
wooden deck, going to the fore where Jacob mainly stood watching. He
was a merchant, not a sailor, but all the best merchants knew the sea
as well as they knew all the prices of goods in all the harbors of
the world. The best merchants were friends with the crews that
delivered those goods. Jacob had tried to explain that sailing was
the best part of a merchant’s life, not the buying and selling
‘inbetween.’ But days and days of the same boundless ocean
sounded so dull. And there he was, standing like usual, but now he
was wearing armour and holding a spear. It was shocking. She had
never imagined Jacob holding a spear.
“Jacob,
what are you doing with that?” She shouted, making her way beside
him. She wanted to hug him, but was afraid of the cold hard metal.
He looked at her with sad eyes.
“Don’t
tell me they impressed you? Oh, don’t tell me that!” She cried.
Maybe that’s why he wasn’t back. Maybe they had stolen her
husband away and now she would only see him again as some corpse on
the battlefield. Jacob just looked grimly ahead.
“Jacob
you mustn’t fight us! My brother is fighting for Illyria! I
couldn’t bear it if you fought us! Jacob, just run away. Run back
to me. Please, where is your loyalty? Your heart is mine! You must
come back with me.” Jacob just shook his head.
“But
why? Don’t you love me? Why won’t you bed with me any more?”
She shrieked, not understanding, afraid, losing her husband and not
knowing the words that would bring him back.
“Because
I would kill you.” He finally said, those sad eyes looking at her
frail body again.
“No!”
She shrieked. “No, Jacob, I want your babies! Jacob, Jacob, you
must give
me babies. I had Joshua! I can do it. I’m not barren!”
“Joshua
is not my baby.” Jacob answered sadly. “Look, he was only a
doll.” He pointed to the small body laying on the deck. Jania
rushed to gather Joshua up, to prove that he was alive. But it was
just rags stuffed with cotton. Joshua had only been a doll all
along.
“See?
Your baby died in birth. We just gave you a doll so you wouldn’t
be sad.” Jacob seized Joshua from her arms and threw him into the
sea, its limp form falling without protest into the endless sea.
A
shiver ran up her entire body. “NOOOOOOOOO!”
And then she was awake. And tears began cascading down her cheeks
as she ran to check on her baby.
Chapter 11.
Hamil
tested the weight of the steel in his hand, holding the hilt loosely
as he spun the sword around. He could think of a dozen fables based
on Lucian steel. The metal was a secret, in the smelting and the
forging, and trade was restricted to Illyria. Lucian steel was said
to cut through shields and swords as though they weren’t even
there. To smash rocks and heads in a single blow. Of course, Datian
steel was supposedly even sharper. Sharp enough to part silk simply
by dropping it across the blade’s edge. They claimed to forge it
from metal that fell from the sky, a gift from the Goddess herself.
Obviously just a myth to hide their secret. Necia was lucky to wield
even iron. The southern desert and the shoreline were hardly good
for mining. Though he could hardly claim Necia had not given her own
blessings. The most fertile river in the world. Gold and ivory and
slaves from across the desert in return for salt. Salt! He could
just walk to the sea and scoop up salt. And for that Necia gained
the wealth of a land esteemed to be built of gold. Blessed
Necia, we will get the steel for ourselves. We owe you everything as
it is. The steel
was only a little heavier than a good bronze sword. Iron was softer
than bronze, but Lucia had found some secret to it. At least it was
too expensive to make any real difference. Though now that Lucia was
his he wished it were cheap. Wishes were idle fancy. He would win
with what he had. And what he had was the finest light infantry in
the world. And now the finest cavalry. He had twenty five thousand
riders of his own, and Lucia was known for its horses. His army was
the fastest warfare had seen. Legions marched fast, but they were
heavy infantry and even their endurance couldn’t match his
mobility. He would run circles around them and devour them whole.
He had to get the Legions fully engaged with his phalanx for his
cavalry to take them on the flanks. His phalanxes were seasoned
veterans, but so were the legions. It was all a matter of finding
the right ground. An open plain where the phalanxes could hold still
and the horses could ride freely. The ground would decide the
victor. And Hamil had the speed to decide the ground.
“General
Hamil, a messenger.” The captain reported. Hamil stopped toying
with the sword and looked up attentively.
“Sir.”
The messenger bowed his head. “Mercenaries are as thick as fleas
here. It’s as though all of Lucia is armed and seasoned for
battle. We had to start turning them away for lack of supplies.”
“How
many?” Hamil demanded. Good news always evaporated with hard
numbers.
“Counting
the allied cavalry, the skirmishers, and the bandits. . .altogether
five hundred thousand. And we could make it a million if we knew
what to do with them.”
Hamil
nodded. All of Lucia really was up in arms. And for some reason
against Illyria and not Necia. Good luck. But Fortune never stayed
on one side for long. “How many horse?” Hamil insisted. Foot
would be of little use with the tactics he planned. But he needed
every horse.
“Twenty
five thousand mounted men, sir. We took every one we could find.”
Hamil
nodded again. Could fifty thousand horse conquer a nation of thirty
million? It was a good start, at least. The real question was
whether fifty thousand horse could conquer a hundred thousand
legionnaires. All the other numbers were dross. The rest were just
fodder, smoke on the wind. Fifty thousand horse wouldn’t be any
use at all against a city’s walls. Somehow he would have to lure
the Legions out into the open, and crush them. Except surely
Marcellus would know that, and stay within his walls. Unless
Marcellus thought he could get the better of him. Hamil knew of only
one general that might have been better than him, but he was long
dead. If Marcellus was foolish enough to meet him on the open plain,
this war could be easier than crushing Jinni. At least the Jinni
were smart enough to fade into the desert before he neared. How
could he lure Marcellus into leaving Scamander’s walls? How could
he lure the Legions onto the open plain? He had a million mercenary
bandits to throw away, and no way to supply them. And he needed to
lure the Legions onto the open plain.
“Soldier.
I need for you to go back to the recruiting posts, to send the
general word, that all crimes are pardoned and all mercenaries
welcome to join the liberation army. We will pay in gold for any
horseman, double the rate. Foot are welcome to live off the land.”
“Sir?”
The captain questioned.
“It
is no sin on our hands, captain. Just Lucians run amok. Necians
would never do such a thing.” Hamil explained. It was very
important to not be responsible for what the mercenaries did.
“Of
course, sir.” The captain stepped down.
Hamil
didn’t care how many women would be raped or how many villages
would be burned because of these words. It was all just a puzzle to
him. A wonderful puzzle in his head that he was solving piece by
piece. The patricians owned the Senate. They would not let their
wealthy estates of the countryside go burned and lost without
response. All they would see is the gold lost without a single
fight, and their greed would demand that Illyria lose everything just
to save that gold. And Marcellus would be too proud to hide behind
those walls when Illyria was being ravaged under his nose. Hamil was
the only person who would fight with his head. Their passion made
them his puppets. It didn’t matter what the mercenaries did to
lure them out. All that mattered is that they would come out, and he
would destroy them. He was the best, because he knew war was a
puzzle to be solved. Nothing more, nothing less. Caring about
things only led to stupid mistakes.
A
million fools to either side. A hundred thousand legionnaires.
Fifty thousand horse. Twenty thousand phalanx infantry. And twenty
elephants. All the pieces sitting on the board. And it all depended
on how they were moved. Hamil took his new sword and left his field
tent for his new horse. He had to gather up his cavalry and put the
same mettle into them that he had put into his phalanxes. Give them
honor, and they will seek to uphold that honor. That was the key.
He would give his cavalry the respect that would make them ride off a
cliff for him to keep it. Passions were so easy to harness. He need
only beckon, and they came.
“I
don’t like it.” Fabius shouted over the thunder. “It’s no
good. We should retreat before the horse gets around us.”
“We
gave them all of Lucia!” Marcellus shouted back. “And now you
want me to give up all of Illyria too? What should we do, surrender
the whole nation outside of Scamander?”
“Look!”
A bolt of lightning startled the two horses, the old men expertly
keeping them still. “They’re cutting around us again! This
isn’t a matter of strategy, Marcellus! This is tactics. If we
don’t retreat they’ll have a beeline straight to Scamander.”
“Hamil
doesn’t want
Scamander!”
Marcellus replied. “He wants us to keep giving ground by
threatening Scamander!”
“It’s
too risky!” Fabius shouted back. “Even if it’s a faint, we
can’t risk it! If the horse cuts between Scamander and the
Legions, it will be just us against the whole damn army!”
“They’re
stretched thin, Fabius! That’s the only way they can cover so much
ground. We could just hit
them and pop the
encirclement. We don’t have to escape it!”
“What
are we hitting? They’ll just go around us! And then they’ll be
between us and our supplies, and we’d have
to attack them.
Don’t you see? It’s bait! They’re paying us a few thousand
men to fight on ground of their choosing!” Another peal of thunder
interrupted the conversation, the mud slopping at the horse’s
hooves.
“Their
horse won’t move any faster than foot in this weather.”
Marcellus said after the thunder had pealed away. “They won’t be
able to make these wide loops, if we just press the fight now.”
“Press
the fight now and you win a sortie! It’s a sacrificial pawn! He’s
waiting for us to get out of position to take a stupid pawn, so that
next he can have a fork between Scamander and the Legions!”
“He
isn’t threatening
Scamander!”
Marcellus shouted in frustration. “Hamil is playing us for a fool.
He’s winning the war by reputation alone! I can beat him, Fabius.
I just have to actually fight!”
“This
isn’t about who’s the better general!” Fabius retorted. “This
is a war between Necia and Illyria! Not between you! No one cares
which of you is better!” Legionnaires marched past the shouting
Consuls trying not to notice the discord. The Sixth and the Tenth
and the Fifth, thirty thousand men, along with fifty thousand
auxiliaries, and they didn’t know which way they were supposed to
be marching.
“I
know that!” Marcellus said hotly. “The Legions need a victory,
Fabius. We can’t just keep retreating, or they’ll start thinking
we can’t win!”
“Everyone
knows how you work, Marcellus! Everyone knows that you don’t
commit until you can
win! Every time we
retreat they have more faith that when we do
fight it will be
because we will
win!”
“Look,
I’m taking the Tenth and I’m attacking tomorrow morning! If you
don’t like it, you can take the Sixth and keep running until you’re
back in the walls of Scamander! We can’t wait this war out. They
have far better supplies than us, and their armies are ravaging all
the crops we do have! This war has to be won on the field!”
“This
war will be lost if we fight on the field!”
“This
war will be lost if we don’t fight!” The two were shouting into
each other’s faces, their horses almost rubbing against each other.
“Both
of you shut up.” Muscianus commanded. “And conduct yourself
like Consuls, for the love of the Goddess.”
“You
stay out of this.”
Marcellus turned his wrath on the junior Consul. This boy
was dressing him
down? He had done
well enough at securing the frontier from the barbarians, but he’d
never seen a real battle. It frightened Marcellus how small
Illyria’s true army had become. Of the ten Legions, the First was
lost, the three to the east were too far away to do them any good,
and three legions were more numbers on paper than real. He had left
those ceremonial soldiers in Scamander. Enough numbers to scare
Hamil, so long as they never had to see battle. All in all, three
Legions were the only men Illyria could rely upon to defeat the
entire Necian invasion. But then, the entire Necian invasion only
seemed to have forty thousand regulars of its own. It was like two
giants striking each other with blades of grass. Just the image of
that was enough to put Marcellus back into good humour. So he let
Muscianus off and turned back to the conversation.
“Now
just wait!” Muscianus retorted. The storm was hardly the best
place for a strategy session, so the Consul grabbed both their arms
and dragged them to his tent. The older men grumbled threats, but
let themselves be led out of the rain. When had Muscianus been
putting up a tent in the middle of a march anyway? Apparently he’d
seen the opportunity when the argument began. “Here!” Muscianus
snapped as he unrolled his precious maps. “Let’s just look
at the situation
and stop arguing about intentions.” Mountain chains snaked down
the heart of Illyria and into Mania, Caria just a lump of bumps
without an inch of farmland between. Which was why Caria had taken
to the sea and traded its olives, the only crop that grew well in
that land. Why Illyria had never bothered with cavalry but only the
versatile infantry to fight for its land. Why all the bronze and
iron that could be wished was to be found in Illyria. Those
mountains determined the entire history and culture of the nation.
Just as the fertile plains and the southern deserts gave the soul of
Necia. Or how the river valleys separated by mountains gave birth to
Datia’s great cities, and its empire. Place a man in a situation,
and he will adapt to it. Place a million men in a place, and they
will adapt to it.
Marcellus
wondered about that. Were the Ogres, then, just as divine as the
three nations? If they had been given this land, what would they
have done with it? If we had been given their forests and rocks,
what would have become of us? And what of the desert riders, the
Jinni? Would they have been children of the Goddess if they had
lived on the fertile plains? Were the Centaurs barbaric and cruel
because the life on the steppe required it?
“Marcellus!”
Muscianus finally shouted in frustration.
“What?”
Marcellus came back to the map slowly.
“Are
you listening? Illyria is overrun by bandits, rebels, or what have
you. Somewhere in this haystack is the needle of Hamil’s army.
It’s cover, see? He’s hiding behind a million men for us to make
a mistake. He’s probably encamped just a few miles away, waiting
for us to do something stupid.”
“What,
so we sit paralyzed out of fear and let the million bandits rage
uncrossed?”
“How
can we risk the whole war to scoop up a few bandits? It’s like
plugging a hole in a dike that’s leaking in a thousand different
places across thousands of miles. Hamil could be out riding in Caria
right now under sunny skies.”
“We know he isn’t going to
attack Scamander, it would just be pinning himself between the walls
and the Legions.” Marcellus insisted. “We know he isn’t going
to wander off into nowhere when our Legions lay between him and his
supply line from Lucia. He’s here, somewhere. We’re his target.
Defeat us and win the war by default. The only conquest he wants is
this very army. He’s here.”
“Then why force a battle?
When he has the speed to attack whenever the opportunity is ripe?”
“Because losing a battle now
is preferable to winning later. If we wait ten years to win this
war, there won’t be any Illyria left to save.”
“We can’t force this
battle, Marcellus.”
“When can we? When there’s
no mud to slow the horses? When there’s no food to feed the
legions?” The argument ran and swam and wandered in circles, over
and over. And because no Consul had authority over the next, the
argument could run forever and it would never go anywhere. And the
men marched through the storm in circles, with no one to tell them
where to go.
If
Hamil didn’t know better, he would have thought that the Illyrians
were more confused than his army. It went forwards and backwards, up
and down, grew larger and shrunk, in a fashion beyond any attempt at
design. If the scouts could even tell the difference between the
Legions and the auxiliaries. Villages and manors fought out their
own tiny wars with land starved rebels and vengeful bandits. There
was talk of slave uprisings, but who could know? Slaves were as
often armed to protect their homes as spoil them. There were so many
men, and the country was so large! Scouts could ride day after day
and see nothing but men marching along the roads, and who could tell
friend from foe? Perhaps a million men were marching to Illyria’s
aid. Perhaps refugees were escaping the chaos of the bandits.
Perhaps the bandits were
the refugees. Nor
would the land stay still! Rising up into mountains, falling down
into chasms and cliffs and gulleys and arroyos and valleys and a
million different words Necia had never even needed. His whole army
would spend one day getting lost in some canyon, and the next fleeing
out of it, afraid for their lives that the Illyrians would catch
their mistake and box them in. Hamil should have died ten times over
wandering through this land. He would’ve traded a thousand men for
a decent map, ten thousand men. Just one map that showed mountains
where there were mountains and passes where there were passes.
Then
there were supplies. His wagons had broken down every day, as if
every wheel was destined to strike every rock in its possible
vicinity. The elephants were sick or starving. It was impossible to
feed them enough, and it was too blasted cold. He’d be lucky if
they ever saw
battle, much less
did anything. He had never thought winter was this cold. Snow built
up in the shadows, wind shot through the bone. And the locals
thought it mild compared to the ‘true’ north. What on earth did
Necia want with such a benighted land? It was all rocks and ice.
How could anyone live here? Hamil was suddenly glad that Necia had
made the earth, for apparently only Necians lived on a decent patch
of it. Truly, Datia of the water and air had given her people the
grand rivers, the irrigation networks that stretched a thousand miles
and fed the richest cities. Had Illyria, then, granted any special
gift of life to her followers? He looked to the left and the right
of him at the rugged land that sickened his elephants and broke his
wagons. Supplies spent months to reach his haggard troops, and
needed an army of their own to escort the food through the teeming
mass of bandits and beggars. He could as easily ‘live off the
land’ as the elephants. It was winter, and everyone was hungry,
and there was no food on the stalk or vine. He had watched wolves
fight to the death over a hunted stag that morning. He had watched,
wishing he had brought a bow or a sling, to claim the stag for his
own. Seventy thousand men! How could they live off the land? There
were already a million men trying the same, in a land that was barely
alive! And yet how could the food be carried across continents in
any amount sufficient, in any way fast enough, for seventy thousand
men a day? Seventy thousand men, fifty thousand horses, and ten
elephants a day. And half the day spent trying to repair the wagons
that were the only possible way to carry enough food to feed them the
other half. If he waited too long, his army would evaporate into the
air. He had thought to bring a small enough army to stop it, but the
army had grown of its own accord, and now nature would shrink it back
down with its cruel mastery. He had to fight before that day.
Before his soldiers and horses were too weak and hungry and cold to
fight. The Illyrians would suffer any hardship to save their homes,
but what was his army there for? They were fighting for nothing.
Their homes were sturdy and strong and full of wives and children
far, far away. And they were fighting here in the cold and the rain
and the rocks for nothing. Only the gods knew why. There was no
sense to any of it.
It
came as no surprise to him, then, when the scout came riding upon his
frothing steed, even in the snow, shouting that the battle had
already begun. He thought of all the battles he studied at
Pallasandria, and wondered how his posterity would study this one.
Two perfectly disciplined armies wandering aimlessly until they
bumped into each other like drunken giants. Headed by the most
famous generals of the age. At that moment Hamil laughed, and a
spark was born in his eye. Finally.
There was a quickening in the
army, a noticeable lurch to activity that was born in the breast of
every man and beast. Hamil could feel the blood of his entire army
pulse and burn with new life, until his own heart wished to burst
with the strength of it. They wanted to fight! It was a marvelous
discovery. His men were excited with the prospect of fighting,
wishing to carve into the bodies of their foes with complete abandon.
Here he had been worrying of starvation and plague, even mutiny!
Hamil laughed again, taking quick steps to his field tent and his
maps. Worthless, all of them. But he needed something to mark the
location of the battle, to give the terrain of the battle to be
waged. It was just a skirmish, now. No doubt two arms of foraging
cavalry had touched upon the other. But it would be a vortex that
would pull in and consume the hundred thousand on either side. It
was too late to maneuver or to find better ground. The battle was
now, and none too soon. The battle must be won now or he would have
no army left to fight it later. But he could still make those tiny
changes, more men on one flank than the other, skirmishers holding
heights or feints to draw off the weight of the enemy line. All
those tiny distributions of men that made battles won or lost.
Sometimes battles were already won or lost before they began, but in
those, it was all a question of how great a victory or defeat. There
was no way a phalanx marching uphill could defeat a legion holding
the heights, or a legion could survive on the open plain where
cavalry ran free. A good general would escape with a sting, though.
A bad general would lose the war. No matter the strategy, no matter
how good the strategist, without the tiny tactical decisions to carry
the field and transform mere victory into total victory or total
defeat into mere defeat, the battle was lost. A general was not a
general until he fought in the field.
“Reporting,
sir.” The messenger saluted breathlessly.
“Well
done.” Hamil said quickly, herding the messenger to his tent. “I
need you to show me the battle.” He gave the feather quill to the
scout and pointed at the map.
“Let
me find. . .” The scout had been trained to associate the contours
on the map to turn into mountains with cliffs and gulleys in his
mind. He’d been trained to see the world as a map and a map as the
world. Unfortunately, when the map did not mirror the world, it was
hard to see the world in the map. “It was cavalry, you see. We
think maybe Patagonians, from the north. We had come upon an
abandoned farmstead, and then they came upon us, and then more
cavalry came to help us when they saw the dust, and then more cavalry
rode in from their side to relieve their
side. . .Just the
hugest mess, battalions and squads being fed in one by one, nobody
knowing if they were meant to be fighting or pulling out, whether the
plan would be endangered if they left their position, or if the army
was going to be destroyed if they didn’t join the fray immediately.
A giant mess, some taking the initiative and others waiting to see
what the higher ups would say, or how the battle would go. And more
men came flying in as if from the very sky to the battle by the hour.
It was all just cavalry, but I’m sure the infantry can’t be far
behind.”
“How
long has it been?” Hamil asked.
“Since
the morning, since the very morning, sir. We were trying to have
breakfast is all.” And then the scout laughed, at the madness of
it all, and a little madness was in his laugh as well. How
many people were dying for that breakfast?
It
was already past noon. Six hours for the scout to reach him.
Another eight for the army to reach back, and then only the cavalry.
By then the cursed winter day would be long done. He’d be lucky to
reach the fight by tomorrow. Until then, each commander was deciding
on his own if he should commit or not--the stupid fools! Every hour
lost of hesitation would be paid for in the blood of a thousand men.
If they had committed immediately, they could have had overwhelming
force, the strength to win the good ground and be ready and waiting
for Marcellus to try to root them out. Now it was total chaos, men
being fed into a maelstrom with no victory no matter the length of
the fighting. When he arrived, Hamil dreaded, it would be with
Marcellus already on the heights, and too much of Hamil’s army
committed to pull out. What could he possibly do? Retreat, when the
whole army was practically singing with the expectation of battle?
He could not deny his men the fight. They would most likely attack
against his orders the moment they came within sight of their enemy.
The only way to prevent the battle would be to order an immediate
withdrawal to all the company commanders, and by then it may be too
late for those commanders to save themselves from the entire weight
of the Illyrian host. It would mean a defeat, if he didn’t rush to
the attack. A defeat his men’s spirits could not endure. He could
only race as quickly as possible to the battle, only use all speed
and hope against hope that he could get their first. Full
commitment, regardless of the stupidity or the recklessness, was the
smartest and least dangerous course. And he wouldn’t reach the
battle until a day after it had already begun. Hamil felt like
hitting something, but the scout was there and the last thing he
could do is look flustered in front of his men. The general was the
soul of confidence, the anchor of unwavering assurance, that the
whole army relied upon. For him, nothing could ever be wrong with
any situation. No use in cursing the stupidity of hesitant
underlings who could not make the same reasoning as himself. Only
accept it, and solve it as quickly as possible.
“Attendant!”
Hamil shouted, making the scout flinch before he went back to making
sense of the map. Hamil’s voice quickly fetched a captain into the
tent. Hamil was already scrawling orders onto paper, making heavy
blots and gashes with the strokes of his quill. Orders by word of
mouth would change a thousand times into the exact opposite orders by
the time they reached the other’s ear. Only in writing them orders
would the cowards dare to be daring and join the fray. They needed
to know that it wasn’t their
mistake, but
Hamil’s. These people were too afraid to make a mistake they
couldn’t piss for fear that they’d miss the latrine. Fine, then,
he would write the orders. But he could at least write them angrily.
“To
all the commanders of the liberation army: on the thirteenth hour of
the third day of Gypsum. An engagement of cavalry located in—“
Hamil cursed and
stopped. “Scout, do you have a location?”
“Sir,
I can only hazard—“ The scout started.
“Enough,
just point.” Hamil was losing patience as he went to gather up the
marked up map. All these people too cursed afraid to make a mistake.
Too cursed afraid to be responsible. They were here to fight a war!
Everyone here was prepared to die! And they were afraid of losing
face?
“Well,
sir, if this mountain here is really shaped like this.
And the scout had drawn in a few more lines and crossed out a few
others. Well, it would be there, except the whole thing isn’t
right. There’s a gully there, following a nice stream, and a whole
flat land for farming. We wandered straight into it.”
“Thank
you.” Hamil sighed in relief, gathering up his map. “You will
of course ride beside me, and show us the route. Your name?”
“Akkhen,
sir. Thank you, sir.” The scout left to find a new horse and food
to restore the strength sapped from a six hour ride with the terror
of failure biting at his heels. The energy was in everyone’s step.
Everything was vital and important, every motion measured and
counted for its benefit towards reaching the battlefield. Hamil
turned back to his orders, the attendant waiting patiently to begin
his own sprint of activity.
“To
all the commanders of the liberation army: on the thirteenth hour of
the third day of Gypsum. An engagement of cavalry located in the
vicinity of the mountain known as Ninces and numbered 341 began on
the seventh hour of this day. You are commanded to proceed with
total commitment
immediately upon reception of these orders. All forces are ordered
to engage immediately upon arrival, all forces are ordered to make
all speed to the battlefield. Unless or until orders are
countermanded only by the General’s orders and only as written and
signed by his hand. Any superior’s orders countermanding these
instructions is an act of treason and shall be treated accordingly.
All forces are ordered immediate engagement, regardless of strength
or size of those ordered. Blessed Necia grant us victory.
General
Hamil, commander of the Liberation Army.’
Hamil
resented every second wasted repeating himself, but knew that battles
and wars had been lost by unclear orders. Everything must be done
absolutely clearly, because there was no more room for error. He
tore out the paper and handed it to the captain. “Have the scribes
make a thousand copies and have a thousand scouts deliver these
orders into the hand of every battalion in the army. All forces, do
you understand?”
“Yes
sir. I’m on it sir.” Then the captain truly did sprint out of
the tent to deliver this message to the scribes. Battles were lost
by wasting time, too. Hamil paused to wonder if this overreaction
was being relied upon by Marcellus, that somehow the man had meant
this whole battle to occur as a diversion. But it was too perfectly
chaotic for Illyria to have planned it. No, Hamil knew well enough
how hopelessly lost the Illyrians were. It simply couldn’t be a
disguise to some brilliant plan. No, when Hamil reached the
battlefield first because of his ‘overreaction’ it would be long
enough to defeat all the forces there and decide the ground for when
Marcellus’ cautious actions saw him there a day or two too late.
Full and total force, daring assaults, they were the mark of a good
general. Caution might stop him from losing a battle, but it would
never give him the victory. He had not marched thousands of miles to
‘not lose’ the war. With the moment’s second-guessing behind
him, Hamil rolled up his map and stuck it into his case at his belt.
The tents must be pitched, the men assembled, the horses fed. . .What
a nightmare trying to move seventy thousand men at any speed beyond a
snail’s crawl! Hamil walked out of his tent to find his horse.
They would ride however long it took into the night for them to fight
on the morrow. Let Marcellus move faster than that.
Chapter 12.
Marcellus
arrived on the battlefield deep into the night, his entire body
aching in new and interesting ways. It was a competition between his
eyes that wanted to shut, his bottom that wanted to never touch a
saddle again, his back that refused to bend without the sheerest of
protests, or his head which had such a horrendous dull pressure at
his temple that he wanted to take a drill to it and break it open.
The first three could be explained by an old man riding in his saddle
far past his time to sleep, the last could only be explained by a
mind exploding from the strain of taking into account all the
possibilities and all the threats of the battle. It was horrible
ground, valleys leveling out onto open (now abandoned) farmland,
ringed by mountains, fed by a rushing stream. The whole plain was
reduced to mud by the churning battle of cavalry that had only
retired when they could no longer see who they were swinging their
swords at. Not deep enough to stop a horse, but only perfect to
render marching in unison something of a miracle. The river cut
whatever army he would lead in half, making it almost impossible to
coordinate the two wings. There wasn’t enough room to field
anything like his full strength, and the valleys were chokepoints
where armies could never hope to pursue through. Unless he could
somehow claim the valley at both sides, no decisive battle could ever
be fought. Rather the two armies would steadily shrink with no
particular advantage. Like trading pieces on the chessboard.
Whoever lost a piece would just move up another, taking and retaking,
until they were out of pawns. It was horrible ground in which to win
a war. Beautiful ground in which to not lose it. Unless, of course,
he could swing the auxiliaries around and box Hamil’s forces into
the valley from the other side. Perhaps there was an accessible
mountain route known by the locals, where they could get around the
supposedly impassible heights with a strong enough force to capture
and hold the escape route long enough for his main force to grind
Hamil’s forces to dust. Of course, Hamil would probably be trying
the same thing, except moving around the heights with cavalry to
claim Marcellus’ escape. Perhaps it would be best to feign battle
here, then, and wait in ambush to destroy the cavalry, snatching a
pawn and then retreating? But then, what if Hamil committed the bulk
of his force
to the surrounding arm? Then the true battle would just be on the
other side of the canyon, a comparatively flatter and wider ground
that would play to Hamil’s advantage. And of course, Marcellus
would be fighting against the walls of the canyon, with only the
bottleneck of the valley to retreat through. . .
His
head pounded, his brain struggling to pop out of his skull. There
were too many possibilities to even conceive of. No doubt Hamil was
planning something he hadn’t even thought of, that he hadn’t even
thought of not having thought of. No matter how many guesses he
made, there were an infinite further number of contingencies to think
about and counter. It was like having a chessboard without
boundaries, without the location of the enemy pieces. How could he
play against that?
Worse, for all he knew a pawn was actually a castle, a bishop
actually a knight. If the scout reports were faulty. Or a bishop
could turn into a knight, or a pawn could grow into a castle. If the
army’s organization were to change. It was chaos, all chaos. For
all he knew, the rules of victory might reverse. Or he might have
some new piece, like a pegasus, whose powers Marcellus did not even
know yet. Or perhaps war was far too chaotic for even the most
chaotic chess game to match, except that the best generals took all
that chaos and somehow made things go as planned anyway. The
continuous struggle in his head was
the war. All he
had to do was make the right move, and the battle was his. After he
made a decision, after his head stopped splitting apart with the
pressure of that decision, the rest was inevitable. However brave
the armies, if put in the wrong place they’d die, in the right
place they’d kill. It was just a matter of making the right move.
But how could he make any right move, when the ground had been
decided for him?
But if he hadn’t hurried to the battlefield, no doubt Hamil would,
and slice apart half his bewildered army in the meantime. At least
the ground defeated all
attempts at
strategy. Maybe, just maybe, the battle would come down to who
wanted to win more. His men couldn’t run, their wives and their
children waited behind them. If he could grind it out, the Necians
had to
fold first. No matter how brave they were, they weren’t desperate.
He had that. His men would fight to the last. He at least had that
on Hamil. If he could just do one brilliant thing, even if he just
didn’t do anything wrong.
. .he would have a good chance.
He had been sitting very
straightly on Vale, he realized, for the past twenty minutes. He was
too tired to move, and it would hurt too much. He preferred to sit
on his horse forever than the pain of dismounting. In the dark it
was impossible to tell what was going on, and for a moment he
considered making a raid on the enemy surely no further than a mile
away. But the Legions were dropping from exhaustion the entire
forced march here. He doubted they could even walk another mile,
much less lift a sword at the end of it. Then he thought to prepare
a stockade in case of a night attack, but again rejected it as
impossibly tiring. If Hamil’s men could somehow gain the energy to
fight all day and then attack at night, then they deserved to win the
war. They deserved to rule the world. Marcellus laughed
mirthlessly, looking at the dizzying height from his head to the
muddy earth. His head pulsed in protest, and Marcellus teetered
back, momentarily going blind. He clenched his thighs with all his
strength, sending a new burning through his legs, bordering on
cramps. Which kept him from falling off Vale’s other side and
probably breaking his skull on some conveniently jagged rock. When
all his body was done attacking him, he was still atop his horse and
still wondering how to get off. Not that Vale would be feeling any
sympathy. He had probably tried to break Vale’s legs a dozen times
by riding him through the clouded night. Nor did Vale intend to move
again for the next week. Marcellus remembered that horses could
sleep standing up, and groaned.
Apparently
his slave noticed his plight, because he brought another horse
alongside Vale. “Here sir.” Bernadine gestured. “Just slide
back, lay back and I’ll let you down all slow-like.” Marcellus
looked at his angel of mercy, somehow here to help him off his horse,
and carefully helped himself out of the saddle and onto the blessed
ground. Now all he had to do was reach his bed. And there was
Bernadine again, taking his hand and leading him, almost carrying
him, to the tent awaiting his presence. Marcellus fell asleep
sometime before his head actually reached the cot, long before he had
a chance to give thanks.
A
few disgustingly short hours later, he was awake. It was dawn, and
he didn’t know where to put his army. For a moment he thought that
maybe they could just rest for a day. They could agree to a truce
until tomorrow, and everyone could go back to sleep. It was the most
sensible thought that had ever occurred to him, bleary eyed and
aching with a fatigue that had found its way to his bones. But they
weren’t friends seeking mutual benefit. For some reason, they were
there to kill each other, which meant he couldn’t let them rest.
He had to grind them and harry them and attack them from dawn till
dusk. If they were still there tomorrow, he would have to do it
again. And again. Until the bastards didn’t stand up again and
they could all go home. If anything, they should be hungrier and
more fatigued than the Legions, their supplies far too slow to catch
up with the pace Hamil had to have set. If he pressed the battle
now, it would be against a tired and hungry foe. Probably the
Necians were even cold, so used to the desert heat. The advantage of
endurance. It was a ridiculous way to fight, a war of attrition
until the last man standing, but presently Marcellus had no better
plan and was too tired to come up with one. Automatically Marcellus
stuck cold mutton between cold bread, automatically he brought the
breakfast to his face. His mind was all set to swallow when Fabius
disrupted him.
“Why
do you put your lamb between the bread? Doesn’t that ruin the
taste?” Fabius asked quizzically. For being older, Fabius had no
right to be able to walk around or think in complete sentences.
Marcellus
looked at his sandwich as if he had just discovered it. “I can’t
taste it anyway.”
“Ah,
I should have known you would be far too gloomy by now.” Fabius
was cheery, cheery.
Marcellus looked death at his friend.
“Just
look at the ground!” Fabius marveled. “Beautiful ground.”
Marcellus
looked at the flat, rutted valley, and saw nothing beautiful.
“Where?”
“We
could hold here for a year. We could hold here until the sun went
out.” Of course Fabius was delighted at the concept of impregnable
defenses. It was Marcellus’ job, after all, to somehow impregnate
them. If that was the right word. Marcellus was too tired to find
another.
“Stretch
the Legions out here, and the cavalry can do any dance it pleases,
won’t even touch us.” Fabius envisioned.
“And
what happens if they don’t move either? We just sit here staring?”
Marcellus grumbled.
“Fine
by me.” Fabius said. “We can still wait them out, now that we
have them by the throat. They can’t retreat, and they can’t
advance. So they’ll sit right there until the supplies dry out.”
“What
if they do retreat? A thousand men could hold the entire army for a
year.”
“They
can’t, though.” Fabius assured. “They have to fight, see?
They’re tired of marching. If generals could control their men,
then of course he should retreat. But they want the fight. They’re
going to come charging at us like a storm. They didn’t march a
thousand miles until their feet fell off, starve and shiver through
the night, only to retreat now.”
“And
if Hamil has the bulk of his army elsewhere, holding us here with
just a thousand?” Marcellus asked. It was Marcellus’ greatest
fear, that somehow Hamil had planned this entire battle and was
through some masterful maneuver about to plunge into his exposed
rear. Half of his army inside the valley, the other half outside,
all dead tired, it would be enough to crack his legions like an egg.
“Well.”
Fabius chewed on his mustache. “Well, I guess we need scouts to
make sure he’s here. Maybe there’s a passage through those
mountains.” Marcellus had remarkably had the exact same thought.
The mountains didn’t look that
steep. But then,
of course the two could think each other’s thoughts. Marcellus was
beside Fabius far more often than Lydra, in the field far more often
than at home. Why
is home always the distant dream?
Marcellus didn’t have time to dwell on it. Another problem for
another day.
“In
any case, we have an hour to form ranks. I’m not sure if the
Legions can even fight today.” Marcellus wasn’t sure if he
could. The tenth legion was no younger than he, and they were the
most solid men in the entire army. He didn’t want to make them
fight today.
“They’ll
come at us, rest assured. With that cursed river making it
impossible to relieve each other.” Fabius looked at the river
angrily. “All we have to do is stand here and they’ll run right
onto our swords.”
“It’s
not well, that they should get the charge.” Marcellus knew how
much attacking aided the morale.
“Look
at this mud, Marcellus! If we tried to march across it, our Legions
would be a mob before they even reached their line! Let well enough
alone. This ground is for defending, and we must do just that.”
Fabius thought every battle should be holding a line. And he was
right, of course. Holding the line was far easier than breaking one.
But no war was won by holding any line.
“They’ll
come at us oblique.” Marcellus predicted. “All the strength on
one side, just enough to tie up the other. They’ll have their most
elite cavalry charging like a coiled spring.” Or was that an
uncoiled spring? Marcellus was too tired. It was ridiculous to be
Consul at this age. He should be home playing with his grandchild.
He had a grandchild, by Illyria! What was he doing here? Because
for some reason there was no one else.
Marcellus discovered he was still holding his sandwich, and then
wondered what he was supposed to do with it. Eating it seemed to be
less of an effort than finding a place to put it, so he took another
bite.
“A
reserve, then. We can support whichever side he assaults.”
“Or
throw enough weight on the other side to crush it, then swing around
and catch the real assault in a vice.”
“Can’t
be done. He would just throw in more on his side, and surround us.
No amount of people we can kill would be enough to free up either
wing.”
“There
are too many cursed people. We just have to sit here and kill each
other until the amount of people on the battlefield is reasonable
again.” Marcellus’ gloomy vision was in full force.
“Eventually
someone breaks. Eventually someone always does. Realistically, we
could sit here and fight for months, just feeding in more men. But
eventually one army will break, for no logical reason, and run for
it. It’s just a matter of stoicism.”
“We
couldn’t fight for months. The corpses would fill up the valley
until there was no more room to fight.” Marcellus retorted grimly.
“Well,
at least we can sit here and fight today.” Fabius snapped. “And
some would say it is a bad omen for Consuls to joke about the dead.”
“I
wasn’t joking.” Marcellus answered, finishing his sandwich. But
maybe that makes it an even worse omen.
Fabius
apparently hadn’t heard him. “Fighting in this narrow valley,
with no room for maneuver, it’s damned beautiful. It doesn’t
matter how ingenious Hamil is. All he can do is push straight
forward. The great Hamil and all he can do is attack right up the
middle. Damned beautiful.” Marcellus had to agree. Whatever
strategy Hamil had intended, whatever brilliant tactics he planned to
use, it had all been rendered mute by the all-powerful ground. It
seemed like a cheap trick, to Marcellus. Rendering the generals
impotent and having the whole war decided by the soldiers. Something
only an inferior general would attempt. No doubt Hamil thought he’d
planned just that, because he was afraid to meet him in a fair fight.
Well, curse it, no one said war had to be fair. Marcellus got out
his spyglass, looking at the dim camp on the other side of the
valley. The early morning mist made the whole view a gray blur, but
there was plenty of motion behind it. They really were going to come
straight forward.
“We
can’t just put more and more ranks behind the original. Panic
spreads like a wave. There has to be a break in the wave, another
unit and another standard, so that it can’t spread. Let’s put
the tenth Eagle in reserve. Solid men, tired men. Hopefully they
won’t have to fight, but they’ll be damn good at stopping any
thoughts of panic and rout.” Marcellus thought out loud. “No
doubt Hamil will go all out, his finest and all of them, hoping that
today he has the advantage. We’ll have to field all three legions,
no relying on the auxiliaries. Tomorrow we might be able to cycle
them out and put fresh men in. But today they just have to fight.”
Fabius
nodded. “You go with the Tenth, then. Just the sight of you ought
to rally any rout. I’ll hold the left wing with the Sixth.
Muscianus can hold with the Fifth. A rough first day of battle, but
we need that Legion. We need that Legion to become veterans very
quickly.”
“And
let’s try to get some auxiliaries up onto these heights. We’re
supposed to have archery and artillery to support us, and by tomorrow
they’d better be there.” The catapults would be assembled or
built on the spot by the engineers. Illyria had the best engineers
in the world, and they would know how to clear the land for the siege
engines, now that the battlefield had finally been chosen. If they
could hold today, Marcellus doubted Hamil would ever be able to break
through after. Marcellus’ position would only get stronger, better
supplied, better supported, better fortified, as the days passed.
Marcellus doubted Hamil would attack tomorrow, if he couldn’t break
them today. The odds would only keep getting worse.
Trumpets
sounded, and the three Legions pulled away from their breakfast or
their uneasy chatter or their prayer. Thirty thousand men, each
trying in their own way to deal with the chance of impending death,
scattered across the two square miles of the campsite like pebbles
across sand. Some were old and gray, perhaps with grandchildren,
perhaps having outlived their own children. Veterans, numb to the
fear of battle, with nothing truly left to lose. Many had wives and
children awaiting them in some city or some farm, here to protect
that city and farm and wife and child from the marauders. Some had
nothing but a dream, their faces fresh and eyes bright. In the
Legion to gain citizenship, or to earn a living, or for love of
Illyria. For some reason, they had all assembled sharply today under
the three Eagles. Under Fabius’ Racing Stallion, under Marcellus’
Sunhand, under Muscianus’ Thunderbolt. Under the morning sun, out
of the dawn’s gray mist, emerged a glorious sight of metal men
glittering with discipline and determination. Eyes narrowed, hands
clenched javelins furiously, the long shields quivered to take up
their position for the all-important shield wall. If a single man
was out of position, a single shield out of place, the whole Legion
was put at risk. If the wall held, it was almost impossible to even
touch them. The legion was like one giant organism, moving and
fighting together invincible. If whorls and eddies of chaos broke
that synchrony apart, the organism died, and the Legion turned into
ten thousand frightened and confused men.
At
this moment, though, everything was in place. The banners shone, the
armor glistened blinding bright, the javelins all held at the same
angle, swords close at hand. Legions were almost indestructible, in
their armament and discipline. But now it would not be the onrushing
barbarians to test them, but equally grim, equally ordered Necians.
Children of a Goddess, with blood divine. Across the valley, their
shouts and horns began to rise, higher and higher, echoing back and
forth between the mountains. There was a great sound of spears
striking against shields, in unison. The dawn’s mist still hid
them, but that only made it worse. As though an army of phantasms
were emerging from the nether world. Men’s grips tightened around
their javelins, until the knuckles went white. Better if it were
just over with, they prayed. Better if the battle was over, and they
were dead or alive. Nothing worse than this not knowing. This
wondering whether the sun would ever shine upon their faces again.
And then the enemy side grew silent, the silence even louder than the
noise. Illyrians always fought silently, coldly, refusing to admit
their humanity in order to refuse to admit their fear. They were
used to the shouting Ogres. Not to this same silence. For a moment,
the day breathed in perfect silence, only the banners stirring in the
valley from the sharp cold breeze. All the men below might have been
standing there for a parade. For a moment the two armies, hidden
from each other by the mist, were beautiful spectacles of man’s
power. Then a horn sounded, and the cavalry came pouring out of the
mist in a dead gallop, on both wings, with a speed that sent a wave
of terror through the Illyrian ranks. Cavalry and then more cavalry,
riding almost at each other’s heels, with lowered lances flew at
the stationary foot, with every intention to ride straight through
them. The silence was the most terrifying aspect of the entire
scene. So many men, and not one betraying any sense of humanity.
Until the Sixth and the Fifth legions let loose a hail of javelins at
the first riders, and men and horses began dying with screams.
Chapter 13.
Horses
skidded with their own momentum across the muddy ground, the horses
charging behind them tripping and stumbling over the fallen. The
terror of the screams didn’t reach the well-trained mounts, who
ignored the dead and dying with tenacious determination. Soon the
next line of stumbling, slowed riders was slaughtered, all across the
line, darts arcing in with deadly carefree ease. Of all the men who
led the assault on the Legions, perhaps one in ten was not pierced or
trampled in the first moments of the battle. Not a single one
reached the enemy line. For some reason all those at the fore had
been willing to die simply shielding those behind. It was either
suicidal stupidity or incredible courage.
The
Legions continued throwing their javelins, hurling one flurry after
the next, rank following rank. The darts floated through the air and
lost themselves in the sea of tightly packed foes, always hitting
something, horse or rider, causing whorls of chaos and carnage. But
soon the ground was traversed by the galloping warhorses, at first by
a few, and then as the few disrupted the Legions, many. Like a
blizzard, the true onslaught followed these first snowflakes, and
whatever losses the javelins had caused seemed to have made no
difference in the least.
The
lances, supported by the mass and speed of a warhorse at a dead
charge, shattered against the shields of the foot, followed
immediately by the trampling momentum of the horses themselves. The
whole Legion was thrown backwards, front ranks crushed between
charging horses and the bodies of the ranks behind them. Men were
thrown down, dazed and shocked, armor crushed against their own flesh
and bones by the force of impact. They had little chance to scream,
rib cages cracking inwards and crushing hearts and lungs. Sheer
force, no edge or blade, slammed into the Legion, and the whole ten
thousand rippled with the shock of impact. The cavalry pressed
forward, seeking to run through
the enemy, giving
room for the next wave to slam against the shore. The Legionnaire’s
short swords were little use against the mounted riders, not even
reaching the elevated men save to hack at their legs. Better use was
set to impaling the horses with the force of their own charge,
bringing horse and rider down alike. Horses fell forward, crushing
more men beneath their weight, screaming and kicking erratically, as
men soaked with horse blood chopped frantically until the beast and
rider lay still. Ranks were split by these wedges of force, but
always reformed in their passing, until the cavalry was stuck against
the Legions, the riders behind with no room to deliver the charge,
almost walking into battle as individuals fell or cut further into
the mass of foot. There were simply too many footmen for the charge
to break, and now there were too many riders for more riders to join
the fray. The assault ground to a halt, individuals battling
individuals in a hopeless melee. Some horsemen were surrounded by
foes on every side, sharp strong swords killing horses under their
riders before finding the dazed men. With the advantage of reach,
the horsemen cut with great overhand strikes into the foot beneath,
smashing in skulls through their helmets with the bludgeoning force
of the saber’s edge. Others raised their shields in time, and the
horsemen could find no way around these long shields from their
single vantage point above. Some foot were stronger than others,
holding the blows of sabers with their shields, others were knocked
down by the force of the blow, kicked by horse’s hooves, arms
breaking from the strain. Still others were taking shattered or lost
lances and stabbing them through the Necians exposed chests. The
Legions were far more heavily armored than the light armor the
cavalry required to maintain their speed. There was little to no
order left in any of the units, though courage and valor were found
at every side, banners fluttering defiantly overhead. The valley
spanned two miles, split by the river, and across these two miles men
fought with the deafening roar of battle.
Men
died, and others stepped up to take their place. Men less sure and
less reliable than those who held the front, but fighting men less
sure and reliable on the other side. Some had never waved their
swords at an actual foe before in all their lives. Caught up in the
frenzy of battle, there was no chance to go anywhere but forward,
comrades at all sides pressing forward, aching to join the fray that
raged only meters away. No one could be said to be winning or
losing. There were always more men waiting to fight than men
engaged. Those who had survived the initial charge had been hacking
and killing horse after horse, rider after rider, in a sort of
mechanical thoughtless fashion. Some horsemen had cut and carved
their way so deeply into the Legion’s ranks that they stood alone
in a sea of foes, so terrified by their prowess that empty ground
somehow magically surrounded them on all sides. The greatest
warriors could be found seeking out each other, cutting down
commoners with incredible ease. It was a melee, a frenzy, devoid of
ranks or shouted orders or strategy. A horseman could join the
battle only to die the next moment, pierced by a javelin held in
reserve for the very event. Or he could ride into the battle,
hacking at shielded and armored bodies left and right, not even
threatened or challenged by men cringing for their lives. Only the
gods could have found a trend or pattern that showed victory for one
side or defeat for the other.
Hours
passed, and Marcellus sat atop Vale silently, passively, showing no
sign that anything was out of order. The grip on his reigns was
cramped and bloodless, knowing that his son stood somewhere in the
sixth legion. Or perhaps lay wounded and fallen, or perhaps dead
from the very start of the battle bravely standing against the
overwhelming charge. There was no hope in seeing him, beautiful
blond hair and blue eyes with that boundless courage, amidst ten
thousand shining bronze helmets. He thought that beseeching Illyria
for his survival would have been a sort of betrayal. Publius had
freely chosen to risk his life for Illyria, and to demand that his
life should be spared would be a break of troth, a breach of honor.
Besides, all his prayers should be preserved for the greater good of
victory, the life or death of his son could not claim higher
importance than that. Not for a Consul. The Sixth Legion stood as a
stone wall, Fabius as capable as ever to hold whatever ground he had
decided to hold. Tonight they would make stakes and trenches, to
pierce the bellies and break the legs of tomorrow’s charging foes.
Tonight they would dig in and fortify the heights, hurling flaming
pitch and boulders into the enemy camp sitting miles away. If they
could just reach tonight, Marcellus imagined, everything would go
Illyria’s way. The fifth Legion’s thunderbolt stood proud and
erect as well, and this came as a pleasing surprise. The strength of
the charge exhausted, now the spent and tattered remnants fought
themselves out, like the sputters of a dying flame not quite out of
fuel. Until trumpets sounded, and horses pulled out where they
could, and riders withdrew, turning tail and retreating through muddy
ground caked with the fallen and the wounded left untended. There
was a momentary cheer as more darts brought down the slower and
lagging riders. The valley was so full of dust that it was hard to
tell what was following, but the sun stood stubbornly at its zenith,
the whole day still waiting ahead. With the retreat of the first
cavalry, the Legion restored itself to some level of order, barked
commands making lines out of muddy masses. As far as Marcellus could
tell from here, the Legions had suffered no visible loss of men.
There seemed to be an inexhaustible supply. On the other side of the
valley, more trumpets were heard, and an entirely fresh wave of
riders came, this time even faster and surer with the knowledge that
the darts had all been spent. The footmen stood, gazing at their
approaching foes deadly, wordlessly, and there were enough cavalry
once more to fill the entire mile. As though all their fighting had
accomplished nothing at all. The front ranks had quickly, as fast as
ingenuity had come, taken up the abandoned lances of the first wave
to brace against the charge of the second. But too many had no such
available device, or no such fast thinking to provide some hope of
survival. Many of the men standing at the front of the Legion were
too tired to do anything but await the lances’ promised death. And
the cavalry charged, and the cycle of death began anew.
Between
the second and third charge there was no reprieve.
Nor
between the third and fourth.
And
as the fourth charge retreated to allow the entry of fresh and
excited riders into the battle, Marcellus knew that the Legions that
had been fighting since the sun rose in the east, would not hold
until the sun set in the west. The Tenth Legion had steadily been
feeding its men in to fill the holes of any particular engagement,
but the Legions in front of them had stubbornly held their own. Now
Marcellus decided that he had to commit new troops if he hoped to
hold at all. Hamil had managed to fight with four times as many men
as Marcellus in the same amount of space, and it was telling. The
Legionnaires died far more quickly than the fresh horseman, out-armed
and in desperate fatigue. If this were a battle of attrition, Hamil
was winning. It would be different tomorrow, Marcellus promised
himself, but today was still somehow here, and he had to do something
or the Legions would break. It would be ridiculous to counterattack
on foot into the untouched camp of the enemy. It would have to be a
defensive maneuver. Marcellus had little time to plan out the
details, the fourth wave already retiring from the battlefield. But
if he could open up the foot and let the horse charge through
unimpeded, the Tenth Legion could hold where the Fifth and Sixth
could not, and then the two front legions could close in on the rear.
They could finally destroy an enemy, and not watch helplessly as
they withdrew to fight another day. Hamil could not expect it,
seeing as how uncreatively Marcellus had fought the first four waves.
It would work.
“Attendant,
quickly, I want you to ride down their and tell them to swing the
Legions open like a gate, don’t meet the charge. Do you
understand? Don’t meet the charge, and let them ride straight on,
then swing closed once they're through. Ride, now!” The rider
saluted and rushed across to reach the Legion before the next charge.
“All
right men, we have forty thousand darts to stop five thousand
horses!” Marcellus shouted encouragement. “Let’s show them
what the Tenth is made of!” It was such a sudden decision that
only immediate obedience would succeed, but Fabius trusted Marcellus
implicitly and no hesitation or stalling was lost. Once again
Marcellus searched frantically for the sight of his son. But of
course there was no way to know. Muscianus’ men went more slowly,
more confusedly, and the charge struck the Fifth with only a slight
altering of course, the men embroiled in battle in the midst of
retreat. Their odds were even worse now than if Marcellus had done
nothing, and he cursed the junior Consul for his hesitance. But now
there was no more time to worry about the fate of the Fifth, for
cavalry came rushing through as they saw a routed Legion and straight
into the jaws of a whole and untouched veteran force.
The
javelins went flying like hail, taking by surprise riders who had
thought that danger long since past, slaughtering line upon line of
careless riders too tightly packed to avoid the missiles. By the
time the charge reached the Tenth, most of its impetus was lost to
the whistling death. And before they could see the trap of the
reforming Sixth on their rear, they were too embroiled in combat to
escape. Marcellus atop Vale made for an easy target, and despite the
Legion’s efforts some few even reached the Consul. He carefully
aimed and released each of his four javelins, toppling the nearest
from their seats. Then drew his sword, without a hint of unease, his
warhorse as nonchalant beneath him. As it happened , some few blows
did reach his armor, but none of any strength to be concerned.
Marcellus struck back, his steel blade piercing leather armor without
a second thought, bringing two more down before the rest were killed
by his Legion. Marcellus knew it was stupid to risk his own life in
order to kill one or two men, when the lives of millions hung in the
balance. But Marcellus also knew that men would not follow a general
whose bravery was not proven on the battlefield. And so he fought
and lived, and those around him watched and were willing to fight as
well.
He
had no time to celebrate the inevitable victory, for Muscianus’
Legion was breaking bit by bit, men streaming into the supposed
safety of the rear, and the cavalry was following gleefully. Behind
them, Marcellus could see Hamil throwing more riders into the attack,
seeing both Legions breaking and determined to claim the field.
Marcellus held up his bloody sword, his bannerman standing
impassively beside. “Rally! Rally to the Fifth!” He shouted
with the strength of all his lungs. “Rally! Rally!” And soon
the men all around Marcellus had taken up the cry, surging forwards
to meet the retreating Legionnaires ahead. Shouting defiance, the
untouched Tenth struck charging the untouched cavalry striking at the
Fifth’s heels. The Tenth was fresh from victory, with the full
force of surprise behind their charge, and soon the Fifth had turned
back again, seeing their promised relief, and two legions went about
devouring a single detachment of mounted men.
Until
Hamil’s supporting charge reached the front, and the shock of
lances crumpled flesh and armor, and horses screamed higher pitches
than dying men, and shouts and cries ran all across the line. Death
stalked across the valley until the last bleeding light of the sun
was lost, and Illyrians and Necians alike fell back in exhaustion.
Thousands of corpses littered the ground. And not a single inch of
ground gained to either side.
For
the Legions, the day was done. Wounded and dead were escorted to the
rear, the whole army retreating in safety when they had not lost a
single step under the sun. But for the fresh troops who took up
their place, the day had only begun. Battlements and entrenchments
were being dug, siege engines occupying the heights. There would be
no rest for either army as preparations were made for tomorrow. No
one thought to wonder if there would be more fighting. It was taken
for granted. And for those who had not yet fought, it was even
something to anticipate. New tactics were developed to meet oncoming
cavalry, new regiments deployed where the old left behind. Now that
the armies had finally met, it was only a matter of wearing each
other down. As the armies of two great nations, neither were in the
least bit tired from the grappling of a single day.
Hamil
looked through his telescope upon the battle-weary ground. The river
had been spoiled with the bodies of the dead, the ground covered with
them. Five days now, and not an inch of ground to show for it. Five
days and any number of dead and dying. There was no quiet to the
night anymore, the groans of those wounded left on the field keeping
those yet to fight awake with thoughts of doom. At some point the
armies had grown too weary to tend to the wounded save in the most
desultory fashion. There were simply too many men to bury anymore,
and not enough men with the strength to bury them. The frozen ground
was too hard to dig in. At least it kept the bodies from
putrescence, the armies from pestilence. Hamil laughed inwardly.
Bless Necia, to not kill us before we can kill each other. Every day
Hamil had won. With horse against foot, his army was always the
stronger, day after day, always attacking and pressing the enemy
line. But the Illyrians were dauntless. For every one he killed,
two more would take up his place. For every ten he killed, twenty
more would marshal on the morrow. It was impossible to kill enough.
They could just stand still and let themselves be hacked at the whole
day and the Necians still wouldn’t have enough time to kill them
all. Perhaps he should have gone around. But he had truly thought
they would break. He felt them breaking, that first day. Could see
them breaking. He had thought the elephants were enough, the panic
and chaos as they beserked through the ranks. . .but those remaining
just filled in the holes. It was insane. He had never fought madmen
before. They could lose and lose and lose, and act as though the
battle had not seen its first day. It was like they didn’t even
realize they were losing.
And
now, how could he go around? How could he retreat, after losing so
many? Were they to be lost all for nothing? Were those remaining to
say to themselves—“Even in victory our general retreats. And
what will he do in defeat?” There was too much committed. Even if
he could retreat, where would they go? Where would they find
sustenance? As it was, they were eating the dead horses of
yesterday’s battle on today’s fires. They simply had
to win. But what
more could Hamil ask of his men? They fought with all the bravery
and skill Necia had seen under the sun. They fought and triumphed
every day for him. They could not be asked for anything more. No,
there was some mistake of his. Some oversight. Some miscalculation.
He should use his phalanx to break the cohorts, he should send the
cavalry through the gaps, and press through to the innards of the
foe. He should seek out the Marshals and the Consuls, and have them
slain whatever the cost in men. He should use darters to take the
hills, until the center had to retreat lest they were slaughtered in
their sleep. He should lead the charge himself, and show Necia faith
in her deliverance, so that she would reward him with victory. He
should attack day and night, with no relent. The battle should never
stop. Hamil shivered under his furs, thinking of a thousand
different paths even this tiny valley afforded him. He should have
brought more heavy clothing for the army before they had marched on
Illyria. They were too tired to keep warm, the soldiers. But
whenever he came near, they would stand up. They would stand up and
salute him, and there would be no complaints. It made him sick with
dread, the faith they had in him. He had once had that same faith in
himself, but not anymore. Now all he could think about was what
would happen if he failed his men. If he had thrown away all their
lives for nothing. If he took their trust, and used it only to
deliver them into the jaws of the enemy. How could he live then?
How would Necia ever let him live after such a thing?
The
men were cold. They were tired, and hungry. Those who drank of the
water for thirst were now sick, the chorus of moans humming in the
night. Those who abstained sat or lay silently with mouths full of
cotton, huddled against each other around the fires, waiting for the
sun to rise and grant some tiny portion of its warmth. Such
suffering, he had brought to all his men. And in return they gave
everything. Their courage, their devotion, their trust, their faith,
their lives. It was a debt Hamil could repay only with victory. And
he did not know how. Hamil sighed, and put away his scope. It was
the same scene as ever, campfires blazing and banners defiantly
waving across the valley.
Tomorrow,
he would order the phalanx to split the legion. Somehow they would
maintain order in the uneven ground. And somehow they would break
the enemy, so that the cavalry could rush through, and strike the
soft underbelly of the Lyrians. Somehow the cavalry would exploit a
wide enough gap that it could not be filled, and the whole army would
flee in panic. It had to work. There weren’t any men left to try
again. A decisive battle. Tomorrow had to be the decisive battle.
Cavalry in reserve, cavalry tying up the flanks, infantry to break
the center, infantry to hold the gap, cavalry to exploit the hole, to
cut off the retreat, and to destroy the whole army in its rout.
Desperation, to attack with a phalanx. But what else could he do?
Gamble on victory now, or wait and watch the army fade away. Even if
the attack failed, there would be plenty enough to hold his side.
The cursed ground was easy enough to hold. This wasn’t all or
nothing. But it was the last chance for all. Hamil dimly wondered
if he should join the battle, and then decided against it. If they
lost today, he would have to be alive to negotiate the surrender.
“Look
there.” Marcellus pointed. “They’re doing something
different.” Fabius took up his spyglass. Dirt was encrusted on
their faces. Trying to wash in the river would have only made them
dirtier. The river was some contorted mix of mud, flesh, and blood.
Like some vision out of hell.
“Don’t
they ever want to rest?” Fabius sighed. “Couldn’t we just
have one day to tend to the dead and wounded? Just one day for
everyone to get a wretched night of sleep?”
“They’re
demons.” Marcellus agreed. He felt old. Stupid. Fuzzy. The
days were blurring into one another, and he couldn’t be sure how
long he had been there, or why exactly he was standing here. “They
just keep coming. They haven’t retreated once. They haven’t
stopped once. I’ve never seen soldiers like them.”
“I’ve
seen them one place else.” Fabius smiled. “But I never thought
such people would ever stand opposite each other.”
Marcellus
sighed. Children of the Goddess. The Necians had proven that much
and more. He couldn’t imagine why he had to kill children of a
Goddess. Why one Goddess would ever try to kill another. When the
whole world was their making. He was too tired to understand
anything. Just keep
going. Just keep going and the Legions will keep going with you.
“There
are too many men, Marcellus.” Fabius grimaced. “Too many men
for today to be like yesterday. They’re doing something and we’re
not ready for it.”
Marcellus
looked at the assembling body again. “We’ll need a reserve for
the center. They’re going to come for the center. By the Goddess.
How does he still have so many men?”
“Like
we haven’t even put a mark on him. The whole damned army as fresh
as a parade.”
“Alright.
Here’s what I want to see.” Marcellus wondered if he should be
making commands anymore, he felt so dull. “The phalanx can’t
hold formation on so wide a front. They’ll bristle like a
porcupine, head-on. But if we engage oblique. Each man attacking
diagonally to the left, to the unshielded side. We can get
underneath. Somewhere the shields won’t be aligned. No troop is
disciplined enough to keep a perfect wall attacking across this hell.
And once the phalanx is penetrated, the whole formation will be
useless. The short swords will take each spearman individually.
Phalanxes are nothing if we can just get through the quills.”
“These
are veterans, Marcellus. The Necians’ heartblood. Their flower.
Not mercenaries. Not Lucian rebels. The phalanxes are
Necia.”
“And
the Legions are Illyria!” Marcellus shouted hotly. “If they can
fight today, well then so can we! If Hamil can think up some new
brilliant scheme, then so can I! We can keep fighting every day of
the damn year!”
Fabius
gave him an odd look. “I will deploy the Sixth in the center,
then. Let’s pray we needn’t test your claim.” Then he spurred
his horse to his banner, not letting Marcellus apologize. Of course,
it wasn’t to Fabius that Marcellus felt ashamed. Forgive
me, Illyria. Let the men know peace for this year, and all the years
to come. Let idle boasts be taken to the idle winds, not to reach
your ears. Let not my vanity be my people’s destruction. Forgive
me, though all I do is sin. Forgive your most wretched servant. The
Sixth Legion against Necia’s phalanx. Fabius had always held. But
the Sixth was tired. The Sixth had been required to do the
impossible hours and days at a time. To make up for the weakness of
all the army around them. And now the completely fresh heart and
fist of the Necian army would be arrayed against them. What
a perfect time to make Illyria angry.
At least Publius lay wounded in the back of the ranks, his shoulder
and arm crushed by the thrashing horse he had felled. At least the
Sixth wouldn’t have to do the impossible and
save his son. Whatever
happens, at least my son shall live.
It suddenly seemed like the most important thing now. Marcellus
thought about that as he brought together the Tenth to stay in
reserve. The men were too old to fight the battle every day. But
they were stolid enough to hold whenever the rest of Illyria wavered.
Why should he think of Publius now? What was different today?
Perhaps
because today he knew the battle was already lost, and the only thing
left to think about was what could still be saved. Hamil had been
pushing them every day, without even straining. But Illyria was
strained to the bursting. There must have been thirty thousand men
in the phalanx across from them. Men who hadn’t seen a day of
battle. All he had was tired veteran remnants and untried youths.
There was nothing left to hold them. Necia was just too strong. But
at least Publius would live. Surely they would not slaughter the
wounded after they’d won. At least his family. . .at least
Scamander still had an army strong enough to protect his family. At
least Illyria could find some better champion in the days to come.
He had never deserved to lead. Maybe they had at least weakened
Necia to the point that they couldn’t win another such fight.
Maybe they had at least bought Illyria time before Necia could march
on the City. It was enough. He could die today, and it was enough.
Illyria, look upon
us today. There have never been men so brave. Embrace your sons
this night, and hold them to your bosom. None are more deserving of
heaven.
“O Illyria, hear my prayer.”
Marcellus plead. “The battle is yours, I ask not for deliverance.
Only, I beg of you, let some other take up the banner I have lost
along the way, and give your people hope. Who will love you, honor
you, with songs and dances and all sweet things, if you leave this
tempest unchecked? Take with us
the extent of your fury. But to your people, who love you so, grant
salvation.”
Chapter 14.
“Let
us attack again, sir!” The soldier cried. “They shan’t stand
another charge! We were so close! They can’t last another
charge!” The army murmured in assent, rising up cries of their
own, pleading to risk their lives.
“And
what then?” Hamil shouted over them. “This whole battle, it is
only three legions! Only a third part of Illyria’s strength!
Suppose we defeat them, what use? Scamander holds another three
Legions, untouched, behind impregnable walls. Caria holds three
more, who haven’t even bothered to march homeward, because the
threat is not yet great enough to leave the borders unprotected!
Illyria remains untouched, unscathed.”
“Necia
is with us!” They cried. “We defeated the Datians! Why not the
Lyrians? What prowess is theirs? All they do is stand in place!”
“What
use is a million swords without bread to feed them? What use the
greatest army without fur to clothe them? What use the most
brilliant tactics without strength to perform them? Are these
mountains so grand, to give our lives for them? Is this land so full
of treasure, to sacrifice the flower of Necia for them? There’s
nothing here! Look around you! It’s a frozen wasteland! I say
let them
keep it, and choke on it! Necia’s soil, black as her wives, one
hectare of it is worth more than the whole of their land! There’s
nothing here for us. We all know your valour. And that is the very
reason we must
surrender. You are
too beautiful in the eyes of our Mother to be lost for this wretched
empty war. Your wives at home need you. Your sons to learn your
strength. Your daughters to learn your devotion. Necia needs you to
tend to Necia.
Not die in a foreign land for a foreign Goddess!”
“Don’t
go, sir! Don’t go!” They shouted. “They will kill you, and
where will we be? Don’t trust in Lyrian dogs!”
Hamil
just shook his head, determined. The Goddess knew he had never
thought, in his wildest imaginings, that he’d ever have to
surrender an army. Marcellus could not have outwitted him. The
enemy had done the simplest thing imaginable, found good ground and
held it. Looking back, Hamil could not see any better way. How he
could have done anything but what he had done. But in essence, the
victory of Marcellus was removing the quality of generalship from the
equation. He had made the battle so simple that the most brilliant
general could do nothing more than the very stupidest. All he could
do was push. All the other could do was hold. The simplest,
stupidest battle possible. And there had been no other choice but to
fight it. The shame was hot and sharp, quick to the bone. But he
could not throw away Necia’s heart for a fruitless victory. The
victory was there to take. But a victory such as that would be his
undoing. Better to surrender now, when Necia was still strong, when
he was still strong enough that they didn’t dare reject his terms.
Better to give up, when he still had cards to play. When the issue
was not yet settled, and Illyria was still at risk. That they had
strength left was the very reason to surrender now, and not fight on.
That they could fight on was the very reason to quit now.
Hamil
knew it was the right thing to do, as short and shameful the war had
been. There was nothing but to mount up, and ride across the valley,
white flag in hand.
“There
he is.” The men whispered. “Hamil the Great. General of all
Necia. There he rides.” The camp of the Illyrians was in tatters.
The wounded outnumbered the men standing. Marcellus had commanded
the men to rotate posts in circles, so as to make it seem like new
men were replacing old. In fact, after the surface of the
battlements, there was only a broken and exhausted heap of wailing,
thirsty, cold, bleeding men. A child’s breath could have blown
them over. Perhaps a thousand men were still capable of taking up
arms in the three legions combined. Of the cohorts, none remained
willing to fight for Illyria another day. Marcellus had begged and
bribed the men to stay on just one more day, to just stand still and
not retreat. He had spent an hour lying across the gate out of the
barricade, so that they would have had to trample him to leave. He
had plead, and turned their hearts, and out of love for him alone
they stayed another day. The army no longer existed past the
surface. And yet Hamil came riding up to them with a white flag.
And yet Necia had come to surrender. There was no greater miracle
needed to see the Goddess watching over them. Illyria alone could
deliver the Necian army to a mere thousand capable of taking up arms.
Marcellus
could see it all. The roving bandits stripping Illyria bare, the
legions of Caria marshaling only to keep the flood of invaders at
bay. Caria would break away, save themselves, and keep a vestige of
civilization into the later years. Scamander would hold out until
there was too much chaos to collect food, until taxes stopped being
payed because there was no longer any protection being given in
return. The people would starve, and then they would die of
pestilence, the clustered quarters and the weakness of starvation
pulling them to their graves. And all the west would collapse, to be
fought over by returning Ogres, floods of barbarians. Necia might
try to hold some part of it for herself, but would find herself too
weak and too stretched out to make any lasting presence. Then Necia
would retreat as well, and Illyria would be like some aged monument
overgrown with wild grasses and weeds. There would be nothing there,
but dogs roaming and killing from horizon to horizon. Nothing of
Illyria, save what Caria saved. And then all those who roamed the
wilderness would look at Caria, the land of plenty, with covetous
eyes. And they would throw themselves at those walls, people after
people, all seeking the type of life they would have under the very
land they sought to destroy. And Caria would fight them off, time
after time, each time the fight growing harder, longer, not so
assured. Until one time they didn’t win, and the barbarians came
to live in the beautiful land, only to learn it had long since
perished under the strain. And the Goddess would die, Illyria
herself would die, and no people would remember her name. Bales and
Vosta would throw out their arms in victory, and claim the land for
their own. And there would be nothing but darkness and death for all
the howling years to come. That was the future if Necia made just
one more attack. That was the future Hamil need only wave his arm to
create. But instead he rode forward with a white flag. And
Marcellus knew Illyria was a Goddess of greatness beyond greatness.
Love beyond love. And tears began streaking down his face.
“Marcellus.”
Fabius whispered. “Marcellus, what is wrong?” Marcellus
slumped in his saddle, all his strength leaving him. The relief was
too strong to bear. He could only lay across the neck of his
perfect, wonderful horse and weep. “Marcellus, Marcellus!” The
urgency of fear now. He knew he should sit back up, that he must
show a strong front to Hamil. But there was simply no strength left
in him.
“I’m
sorry.” He managed. “Fabius, please meet Hamil at the gates.
Don’t let him see past the battlements. Please, whatever it takes,
find peace today. Whatever he wishes.”
“Of
course.” Fabius pledged. “I never knew. . .of course I’ll
meet him.” Then Fabius gripped his arm, as if to will some of his
strength into his friend, and rode off in haste. The whole army
watched in silence, in amazement, as their Consul, who had withstood
the entire phalanx with five hundred men, now wept weak and broken
upon his horse like a babe. They watched, and they loved him for it.
For his weakness far more than his strength.
Fabius
almost barged his way through the gate, his horse kicking up dust and
people jumping out of the way. Before Hamil’s stately pace had
reached the threshold, Fabius had galloped through and ordered the
gates closed. Hamil might be willing to surrender now, but no
miracle would cause him to surrender if he saw the state of the
Illyrian camp. Fabius had been fighting in the thick of battle since
the first day, but there was not a hint of fatigue in him. Some
inner fuel kept him strong against the buffets of the world, so that
he looked in a way ageless, beyond the reach of time to weary or
decay. He had gone through the heat of every charge and emerged
untouched, as though an angel watched over him. So it did not
surprise Hamil when he saw Fabius, and not Marcellus, emerge to talk
of peace. In a way, Hamil wasn’t sure which of the two he had
truly been fighting against. Perhaps they were the same person, just
wearing different faces for different roles. Hamil wondered if he
had ever seen them both together.
“Greetings,
in the name of the Sixth Eagle and all Illyria.” Fabius called,
pulling his horse to a sudden stop. Dust billowed around the two,
Hamil’s horse held expertly at ease.
Hamil
let his flag drop, looking Fabius over. “Yes, greetings. But why
are we standing here?”
Fabius
looked behind his shoulder. “I’m afraid I could not ensure your
safety within the gates. It would be best if you state your business
without armies itching to take up arms.”
“Ah.”
Hamil made a note of understanding, not really understanding. “I
have come with terms. Are you willing to hear them?”
“Yes
of course.” Fabius nodded. “We never asked for this war, and
have no reason to extend it.”
“My
men, they must be given all respect and care. You can escort them to
ships, and bring them to the Necian shore. Or escort them to the
shore, and let our ships take them.”
“They
must be disarmed, your horses taken.” Fabius said.
“Of
course, they wish only food and clothing and respectful care.”
“We
will see to it.” Fabius had been wondering where they would find
food for their own men, but this was more important. Better to feed
the lions, than to feed men eaten by starving lions.
“Also,
all the Lucians under my banner, they have the right to come with us
to Necia. And all their families. And anyone of Necian blood in
Lucia is free to come home.”
“Bandits
and rebels must be dealt with, or we will have no more republic.”
Fabius warned.
“Only
the men with me. Only those who have stayed in Lucia in peace, and
wish to leave in peace. No reprisals on the families of those who
fought so hard for what they believed.”
“If
we let all those with Necian ties leave now, you must renounce all
claims to Lucia hereafter. All those that remain in Lucia are
Illyrians, to the end of time.”
“Lucia
is yours, to do with as you please. Any Necians who remain in Lucia
have chosen their allegiance, and have no further ties to the
motherland.” Hamil agreed.
“Also,
we demand a restitution for all the damage you’ve done.” Fabius
pressed. “Because of you, bandits pillage the land, and our crops
are eaten to the quick in the dead of winter. Millions will die in
the months to come, women and children who raised no hand against
you. If we do not have food now, this war cannot end. This war is a
war of survival, and if we must we will march on your land and take
the crops necessary to feed our people.”
“Enough
food to feed your people, until spring is come and new crops can be
seeded.” Hamil agreed. “The Goddess knows that is a tiny price
to pay to avert war.”
“And
the shipments of corn to Scamander, they must be sent immediately, as
soon as your men have boarded their boats, without pay. Our city is
dying without this corn.”
“The
regular shipments of corn to Scamander, plus enough corn and grain to
feed your nation until the spring. Necia has enough reserves for all
of this.” Hamil admitted more grudgingly.
Fabius
blew out his mustaches, trying to hide his satisfaction. “These
wars have stolen too many lives for too little reason. Tell your
lords, we have no wish to fight children of a Goddess. The dogs
press us at every border, from every side. There is more than enough
darkness, for the light of the world to plunge against itself. Tell
them the three nations should follow the example of our Goddesses,
and work together to make something great—the glory of all
our nations. No
Goddess has sought the other’s glory. Why, then, are their
children squabbling over the birthright they gave us all? It is not
right, that brother should fight brother. We are all loved, and
there is enough for all of us. Only Mahara could find a reason for
war.”
Hamil
shook Fabius’ hand. “The Goddess knows you’re right. I would
that the wise held all the thrones of the world, but the loyal must
still serve them. I will tell my lords. Peace be unto you, my
brother. May we never meet again.”
“I
pray so.” Fabius answered. The further away they were, the
better.
Then
the two took out ink and paper, writing down all the terms and
numbers of the agreement, arguing over just how much food was
required to feed just how many people, and how the wounded were to be
tended, and whether any spoils taken were to be kept, until the two
men signed. Neither of them actually controlled whether the peace
would remain. But they both controlled the armies that were warring,
and regardless of what the Senate or the College of Lords proclaimed,
the armies were marching home. It was the first time either general
had felt triumphant.
“So
what will you do now?” Fabius asked, soothing a tired body with
heated wine. Alcohol was used as a medicine, not for consumption,
but Fabius had kept some for the occasion. After having to stop the
fist of Necia seven days running and then negotiate the peace at the
end, spiced wine beside a fire huddled in furs seemed just about
right. Now all he needed was his estate in the vinelands of Lucia, a
library, and a feather bed. He’d never allowed himself such
luxury, as it softened the spirit as well as the flesh, but he
thought it was about time to enjoy it. If he ever wanted to at all.
“A
hot spring.” Marcellus decided firmly. “I want a manor built on
a natural hot spring. And all I want to do is soak and soak and
soak.” It was cold, and warmth seemed like the only necessity for
heaven.
“A
hot spring?” Fabius weighed it carefully. “No, I should do well
enough with a private bath. And what will you do there? I think I
will write a book.”
“A
book?” Marcellus laughed. “And what will you write?”
“Strategy.
It is about time somebody started listening to what I had to say.”
“Now
that you single-handedly won a war and all.” Marcellus teased.
“What
do you mean a war?”
Fabius retorted, then became more serious. “The wars will keep
going, Marcellus. And I’m running out of days to fight them. I
thought last time it would be my last war. Now I think this time it
will be. But someday it really will be an end, and I’ll have left
nothing behind.”
“Like
with Maximus. Winning wars until he died, and he never bothered to
teach anyone else how it was done, or how to keep his gains, or how
to do anything. After all the wars, all he gave us was more people
to war against.” Marcellus agreed.
“We’ll
keep winning, so long as somebody on top knows what he is doing. But
who will follow us? There isn’t a single marshal I could trust a
Legion with, much less an army.”
“A
school, then. That’s your dream. A school to groom new commanders
with the skills necessary to keep winning all the wars.”
“The
republic is too large, Marcellus.” Fabius confided. “The
rebellion in Lucia, that should never have happened. It happened
because too much was happening for anyone to notice what was
happening in Lucia. There was no oversight.
We’re stretched too far, and so we can’t spare enough time to
set anything right in the places we do have. Eventually we just
treat the provinces like vassal states, and spend all our energy
governing Illyria. The wars to come won’t have to be against
foreigners. More and more, the wars will be within the republic,
because we aren’t actually unified. Each province is still just a
province, a people and culture of their own. Second-class citizens.
We don’t care about them, we don’t protect their borders, we just
tax them and punish them when they try not to pay. Why didn’t we
stop the Necians in Lucia? Why did we wait until Illyria was
threatened? Because Lucia was ‘foreign’ territory. It was only
an invasion when they attacked us.
I look ahead and I see nothing but war. It will tear the whole land
apart, if we don’t have strong leaders with strong armies at all
the flash points.”
Marcellus
shook his head. “How does that solve anything? We can give the
armies the best discipline, training, tactics, armament, and military
spirit, and all they’ll do is win wars. Stomp fires out. That
doesn’t reach the root
of the problem,
just the symptoms. Like a physician treating a sore throat and a
runny nose and a cough, when the ailment is truly one thing behind
them all. We need a way to stop the wars from ever happening, not
just a way to win them once they’re begun.”
“Impossible.
Wars will always happen.”
“I
can’t believe that. Not and want to live. There has to be a way
to end the wars.”
“And
how will you end them in a hot spring?” Fabius prodded.
“I’m
leaving Scamander, Fabius.” Marcellus decided. “I’m leaving
Illyria. I’m going to build a house on the very edge of Mania,
where they don’t even speak our language or worship the Goddess.
I’m going to leave, and perhaps take some of the men who want to
come with me. With their families, and farm. Perhaps we’ll set up
a community that can resist the Ogre raids, so they don’t have to
pay tribute to a foreign nation anymore. Perhaps we can teach them
the ways of virtue. We shouldn’t try to defeat our own people.
But to make them our own.”
“You
can kill a person with the flick of a wrist.” Fabius said. “But
to make a person takes twenty years. Are you going to spend the rest
of your life converting a village of barbarians?”
“Maybe
a single village of freemen is better than any number of slaves.”
Fabius
laughed, finishing his wine. “Maybe. But for whom? The freemen,
or the slavers?”
Chapter 15.
Publius
wrapped his cloak tightly around him, making his way up the muddy
trail that served as the village’s road. It was cold, and his
shoulder ached. It wasn’t that it hadn’t healed. He was young
and after a few months of spring it was ready to work again. But
Publius doubted it would ever truly heal. His collarbone had been
splintered by the force of the blow, and those slivers of bone were
still cutting around inside of him. Nor could bone ever grow back to
the strength it was before. It was his first wound, and it wasn’t
going to go away, just like his father’s had never truly healed.
Except father had
a dozen scars to prove his valor. All Publius got was an aching
stiff shoulder and arm, his skin still smooth as a babe. Publius was
more annoyed that his injury wasn’t visible than that he’d been
injured. It was enough, though. His devotion had been proven many
times over in the battle of Gypsum Pass, and it had been enough to
finally become a marshal. Of cavalry, no less. If there was one
thing Illyria had learned of battle, it was the need for cavalry. If
not for the enclosed and ripped up ground of the battle, the foot
would have been devoured whole. As it was, half the number of
mounted men had killed twice their number of almost helpless
infantry. Not that the Illyrians intended to become mounted. There
were more than enough Lucians and Patagonians and foreigners to serve
the job. If there was another thing Illyria had learned, it was that
legions were practically invincible so long as they held. All they
had to do now is combine the solid core of the legion with the mobile
speed and deadliness of the horse, much like the Necian army had
already. Illyria had so admired the armies of the Necians that they
had modeled themselves after it. Publius wondered if the Necians
were currently modeling their army after the Illyrians. It would be
a divine jest, if the two nations simply traded places on the fields
of war.
A
particular gust of wind made him huddle lower against the back of his
horse, his shoulder protesting from the cold. Sometimes he wished he
could cut it off just to stop it from complaining, but from talking
to those who lost their limbs, somehow their invisible members still
managed to ache. There was no escaping pain. It just went on and
on. Life was feeling pain. Publius gritted his teeth and reminded
himself how lucky he was to have escaped with a stiff arm. Those who
had not been wounded in the war were dead. The Sixth Eagle had
literally fought to the last man. His comrades and friends littered
the earth. Nothing for it but to go on. He was still alive, and
more, he could still fight. A little pain wouldn’t keep his arm
from holding a shield. Now that he was a marshal, he could bring
true glory to the Sunhand. Everyone could look and say, “Isn’t
that Publius, the son of Marcellus? I see their blood still runs
strong.” That is, if Marcellus would give up his demented
retirement and stop being the object of shame in all Scamander.
Which was why he was on this benighted muddy rocky trail in this
endlessly cold north even at the end of spring. Someone had to bring
him back, or the whole family would become the object of satires for
the rest of time. When he had left, people were already barbing him
for his incredible ability to surrender at the end of every campaign.
For his ability to only ‘father’ children with blue eyes and
blond hair. For his seemingly endless devotion to marching away from
enemies. For his relationship with Fabius. Everything was being
mocked and ridiculed while he was away. The whole family was being
torn down and all he did was hide away in this wretched hovel. When
the satires about Marcellus were growing dull, they had quickly
shifted to Jania’s sick child and her ‘muddy’ husband, to
Marcus’ education among all the other boys, even to Lydra’s
tolerance when Marcellus was away. It couldn’t be that she loved
him enough to stay for him. Not for the citizens of Scamander, who
wished only to tear down all things bright and pure so as to not
contrast with the manure of their own souls. No, obviously Lydra had
some other lover, and obviously all the children were truly his
kids. Because how
else could you explain the Ogres the family had spawned? Marcus
having perfectly brown hair and eyes wasn’t enough to stop the
writers. There were already a dozen theories of how he
was born being
shouted through the streets.
Publius
couldn’t be sure, but there was too much force behind this to just
be the sudden upwelling of Mahara in their souls. Yes, it was from
envy. And for that strange pleasure one got in seeing a great man
revealed ugly and hypocritical. It was for all those things that
made people seek other’s destruction. But the sheer ferocity and
duration of it could not be explained. The patricians, damn their
souls to hell, were somehow causing all this. They were afraid that
Marcellus might reclaim the reins of power, and had decided to have
him destroyed. Not that Marcellus had sought power after the war,
but just that he could was threat enough. The whole city had become
a viper’s den of conspiracy. Publius had escaped most of it laying
on his back through the spring. But anyone who so much as moved was
liable to be sued, or charged with some heinous crime. Exiled, or
their property taken, or even killed. Eddies and currents of
power-seekers through some invisible means would at some times win
victory for one side, then other times shift to others. An invisible
war for power, where people never knew where they stood until the
city turned against them in fury or for them in praise. It was all
based on who could keep the hearts of the fickle masses. And
Marcellus, the only tried and true saviour of the nation, was the
most powerful player of all. Which is why they were killing him,
though he wasn’t even playing. Publius had to bring Marcellus
back, to give Scamander peace again, to restore the honor of his
family. If the patricians went on unchecked, Marcellus and his
family would someday be the next victim. If Marcellus didn’t fight
to keep his name, they would someday bring him to trial, and the
people wouldn’t save him. His insanity was risking the entire
family and leaving the entire nation in chaos.
Once
Publius told him what was happening, showed him what needed to be
done, surely father would relent. Father had to become tribune
again. Publius had an uneasy thought in his mind, that the title of
tribune was not what he truly sought. But he pushed that away.
Father would return, and as tribune he would bring the senate in
line, and the patricians would be stripped of their influence, and
order would be restored. Of course that’s what he wanted. Illyria
was the
Republic. Only the Datians lived as slaves. Illyria would never
fall to that. Never.
Finally
his horse crested the hill and revealed the village below. An
outskirt on the outskirts of Mania, they probably hadn’t even known
they were part of Illyria. No tax collectors came this far, nor any
of the legions. But father had, for a reason beyond anyone’s
comprehension. And so had a great many others, who believed in him
and would follow him anywhere. What father had not accomplished by
law, giving the empty land to the overcrowded landless, he had
managed by example. Now there were even a few cities spotting the
north, thriving on furs and ores and timber and slaves. Publius
shuddered for a moment at the thought of having been born an ogre.
He was pretty enough that he would surely have ended up a catamite to
some wealthy patrician. At least Illyrians could not be bought and
sold. At least there was protection for those who served the
Goddess. But it was ridiculous, trying to make Mania prosper when
the very heart of Illyria was collapsing into decadence. How could
the outlying provinces survive without the roots? All this work
would come to nothing if Illyria broke apart into fractious violence.
The entire Republic would split apart at the seams, and the Manians
couldn’t hope to retain their identity when the Ogres came flooding
back to the land of their ancestors. At worst they would be looted
and enslaved. At best they would be ‘liberated’ from Illyria and
return to the world of dogs, Bales, and Vosta till the end of time.
Or maybe that was worse, and enslavement better. What was father
thinking?
Dogs
came barking and running around his horse, and Publius annoyedly kept
his horse settled as it tried to kick free. Publius had an
unsettling thought that it was an Ogre custom to have watchdogs
running loose and mainly wild to guard the camps. For a moment he
felt the dizziness of being beyond the edge of the world and into the
darkness beyond. No,
this is still Mania.
Father wouldn’t
be here if it weren’t still Mania.
This is still
Illyria. An
outlying goatherd saw his plight and proceeded to run into the din
and knock the dogs down, shouting and striking until they slinked
away. Perhaps the dogs were tamer than the Ogres left them. That
was a small consolation to almost being thrown off his horse and
devoured.
“My
thanks, boy.” Publius nodded. He was a marshal now, which meant
he could call others boys whether they were twice his age. It wasn’t
that he particularly wished to demean them, it was just that people
needed to know their place, to respect authority, for the sake of
discipline, which was the heart of victory, which saved the very
lives of the people he was demeaning. Perhaps they didn’t
understand the reasoning, but that was their problem, not his.
“We
don’t normally have visitors, sir.” The sir obviously being
added in response to being called boy. Publius wasn’t any happier
about being elevated above the boy, but it was necessary to be
respected in order to get results. “Well, at least we didn’t
used to.” The boy interrupted himself. “Well, either way, why
are you here? If you don’t mind me asking.” The boy quickly
added the last part.
“My
name is Publius. I’m here to see my father, Marcellus.”
The
goatherd’s eyes widened with awe. “You’re his son? What must
that feel like?”
“Cold,
tired, sore, hungry, and almost eaten by wild beasts so far.”
Publius smiled.
“I’m
sorry!” The boy apologized. “It’s just, he’s such a great
man. He’s been telling us all these great things. And last month
when the ogres came he scared them off. Now we will have such a big
harvest!”
“The
Ogres, eh?” Publius warmed. “But you have blue eyes, I see.
Doesn’t that make you an Ogre too?”
“Well
your eyes are blue.” The boy judiciously pointed out.
Publius
laughed. “That they are. But don’t tell the others, or they’ll
catch me.” The boy laughed with him, a second after realizing
Publius was joking. Publius watched the boy laugh and felt a pang up
his heart. This boy
has a father and it isn’t me. He
pushed it away. There was no use in having a family that he couldn’t
protect. Better that he protected a thousand such families, a
million such, than start another and have them all destroyed. Just
his stupid desires getting in the way of reason.
“So
why aren’t we Ogres?” Publius feigned ignorance. At least he
could pretend to be a father for a few minutes. It felt really nice.
“Because
they’re sons of bitches.” The boy piped out proudly.
“Excuse
me?” Publius blinked in shock.
“You
know, they’re dogs.” The boy looked confused. “Not children
of Illyria, but of bitches.”
“Ummm.”
Publius chewed on his lip diplomatically. “Well just don’t tell
them that.”
“Of
course.” The goatherd shared a conspiratorial smile. “They
don’t scare us anymore. Did you know that Marcellus once killed an
entire tribe of ogres in an hour? Once they heard Marcellus was in
the village, they haven’t come within a hundred
miles.”
“Yes
I know.” Publius smiled. “I was there.”
“Truly?”
The boy gasped. “Not another joke?”
“The
very bearer of the Sunhand banner itself.”
“What
was it like? Did you kill any? Were they really scary?”
“Maybe
if you brought me to Marcellus I could tell you on the way.”
Publius promised. So they made their way into the village, Publius
noticing the bright faces who didn’t seem to mind the cold. There
was an odd mixture of Illyrian newcomers and Manian villagers, in a
comforting way. Publius had always been the object of stares down
south, from too many men and not enough girls. At least here people
would only stare at him as Marcellus’ son. One day he hoped
someone would stare at him because it was him. Another idle fancy.
“It
was cold, for one thing. Blue cold. Snaking through my fingers and
face, cutting at the lungs. I guess you know how that feels, up
here. Like the cold was alive, stalking, looking for a weak point to
attack. Slithering through your clothes and into your bones.”
Publius watched children running in circles holding hands, the
flowers of spring braided in girls’ hair. He watched boys running
around hitting each other with sticks, or wrestling, or chasing the
dogs. He watched girls playing intricate hand games in circles or
whispering secrets in each others’ ears. It was as though he’d
never seen happy children before. Some new thing under the sun.
“The
mountains were like giant’s teeth, straight up. Piercing the sky
like granite spears, their heads topped with snow. Down in the
gorge, it was like all the wind just funneled in that ever felt like
blowing. It was so cold, you could almost see the icy blue hands
trying to rip off your cloak. The banner, though, it was flapping
like something alive. Streaming back with the wind, the brilliant
sun’s rays shining between the fingers of the fist clutching it.
Gold on white, flapping as though it were challenging the wind. No
matter how hard it blew, the banner would stand proud, dauntless
against all the cold and all of nature’s power. And there I was,
my hands numb around the polished wood, standing a foot above the
rest of the Legion. The banner’s only rival being the flying Eagle
itself.” Publius saw the bread being taken out of the huge ovens
by sweating boys, hurried to the kitchens where just as frantic women
served them. He saw tailors and cobblers mending winter clothing,
spinsters preparing new gowns for the summer fairs. He saw men
arguing over the best way to move trees, or the best place to set
traps.
“And
there came the barbarians, yelling and running, totally naked, like
the cold didn’t even touch them. Like some sort of blue demons,
painted and crying with their strange tongue. They were so large,
towering over us. And with the abandon of beserkers. They didn’t
even notice how well set we were for the charge. Just in rushing
like a force of nature. A tempest. An avalanche.”
“What’s
a tempest?” The boy mouthed in wonder.
“It’s
a great storm that comes from the sea, wind so strong it can tear
apart whole cities, waves knocking down cliffs, rain slashing so hard
like daggers.”
“Were
they really like a tempest?”
“Yes,
even as fierce as that. Fiercer than the maddest lions.” Publius
watched wives hanging out laundry, and children bent over tablets
learning the arts of writing and geometry. He gazed with some
astonishment upon a fresh-standing temple of Carian columns open to
the air. A shrine to Illyria, this far north. Publius gazed at that
temple with an incredible upwelling of pride. This is what he’d
fought for, at Amelia’s Gorge. This is what made it all worth it.
“So
in they ran, as fast as a hawk’s flight, and crash!”
Publius slapped his hands together, the boy jumping in surprise.
“Against the shield wall! Right into the swords! All they wanted
was to break the wall, turn it into the melee which is all they know.
But we didn’t break. The line held, and the barbarians kept
pushing, and pressing, until there were so many that they couldn’t
even use their spears. Squished together like. . .like grapes in the
winepress! And there we were, holding them tight as a lass in our
arms.”
The
boy crowed in laughter, sharing the enjoyment.
“Then
down from the forest my father came, silent as could be. The other
half not even noticed or touched, rushing in from the rear! Trapped
like grapes in a winepress, and Marcellus come to stomp them down!
Before they could even turn around, squish! Out the wine came! A
whole lake of blood for the bloodthirsty ogres to reap after the
slaughter they’d sown. The whole tribe dead in an hour. And the
whole time, the Sunhand flying overhead, proud and defiant. Not in
the least bit touched.”
“Is
Illyria really that strong?” The boy marveled.
Publius
smiled. “She is when Marcellus is there. Father pretends not to
notice. But he never loses, not against the longest odds. We fought
against forty thousand men, and lost only five.
Illyria protects him, and he protects Illyria.”
“Then
Illyria will protect us from the Ogres too? Even tempests of Ogres?”
Publius
laughed. “Do you see any?” Publius had finally come to a stop,
looking across the water for his father. A natural hot spring.
Publius couldn’t remember how long Marcellus had muttered about hot
springs on the march. He gave a small smile of happy memories.
There was something wonderful about people’s quirks. All these
happy memories, even at the worst times. Everything eventually
became a happy memory. Besides, it was cold, and a hot spring was
sounding really nice right now.
“No.
They all ran away like little rabbits!” The boy laughed in
delight.
“Maybe
someday you can make Illyria strong. Become a citizen and a guardian
of the Goddess herself. Maybe someday they’ll be running away from
you.”
“Do
you think?” The goatherd tried to stand taller.
“If
father would only spare the time to protect us from ourselves.”
Publius muttered. Then he looked up. “But for now you have goats
to tend, don’t you? They’ve had time enough, I should think, to
have eaten the dogs.”
The
boy laughed. There was enough joy in him to laugh at everything.
Publius wished he could laugh like that. Or at least have a son he
could make laugh like that. Or at least be able to trade such jokes
with a love of his own. Idle fancies for another world. There was
no room for joy in this one. The boy left, looking backwards over
his shoulder in admiration. Publius wondered what would happen next
to this boy. Would he one day become a legionnaire, just from the
story Publius had told? How great an impact something so small can
have on a life yet unlived! The tiniest thing, this tiny story,
could change that boy’s life, which could decide between victory
and defeat for Illyria, and one day be the one thing that had saved
the entire world. Such a power he had to change the world, just with
words alone. This same power would have to be enough to persuade
Marcellus to return to the city he hated to save the people he
despised. It was hopeless. He wished he had Marcus’ gift for
words. Come to think of it, Marcus hadn’t ever persuaded Marcellus
to change his mind either. Publius doubted anyone could. But he
still had to try.
“Publius!”
Marcellus called, sighting him standing tall. “All this way north
to see your mother?”
Publius
shook his head. “To see you, father! We need to talk!” The
crowd seemed to mutter and stir to get a look at their hero’s son.
Apparently he fit the bill, and the crowd watched on approvingly.
“Well
you’ll just have to talk to mother anyway! I’ll join you
shortly!” Then Marcellus sank beneath the water to avoid argument.
Publius
sighed. A hot bath and a hot meal sounded nice anyway. Something
else. Publius
thought over the few words. Something
else. He gathered
his stuff and was given quick directions to the new manor. As he
walked through the muddy streets prospering almost visibly he tried
to catch that elusive quality he couldn’t quite place. He’d made
it all the way to the slaves at the gate before he realized it. It
struck him as strange, because he couldn’t remember seeing it
before, but it was such a simple thing to see. Father was happy.
Publius
was greeted as he walked in by old and loyal servants, many of whom
had instructed him in wrestling and arms, schooling and virtue, law
and justice. It felt good to see them again, in a way being a part
of the household again. The floor was giving off heat from an
ingenious channeling of the hot spring beneath the house. Floodgates
were designed to raise or lower the amount of water flowing through,
and a bathhouse built where the water reached the surface. It was
extravagant, but Publius admired it. There was useless luxury and
useful luxury, and this definitely fell under the latter. Marcellus
had saved the entire Republic, and he deserved to be warm in the
winter if that’s what he wanted. Publius looked up from his study
of the house to find mother watching him amused.
“Mother.”
Publius broke out into a grin and hugged her. “Young as always I
see.”
“And
you without a scar to boast.” Lydra teased. “Where have you
been, farming flowers?”
“Almost.”
Publius laughed. “Anything seems pastoral after the battle we
fought. Now I’m guarding the delivery trains trying to resettle
the refugees in Lucia. That whole place is such a chaos, the people
had almost given up. It was amazing, when the wagons came in.
Children sitting as still as death, seeing nothing, right up until we
stuck soup in their hands. We’re bringing the whole land back to
life wherever we go, and all the bandits left to Necia while the
going was good. Or at least, they didn’t dare fight us after we’d
defeated the Necians.”
“Defeated
the Necians, you say?” Lydra rose and eyebrow skeptically.
“Marcellus seems to think they never lost.”
“They’re
gone, aren’t they? And not an inch more of ground to hold than
when they came.”
“Why
would they want more land, when they have the richest in the world?
They seemed to have taken the true assets. Craftsmen, smiths,
artisans, armorers. . .”
“We’re
the better off without them, the traitors. Now Lucia is truly
Illyrian. Not some sort of mongrel half-breed of the Goddesses.”
“Well,
I suppose you’re right.” Lydra guided him to a chair and slaves
started sticking food in front of him. Cheese and ham and hot
buttered bread. He was probably eating the very bread he had seen
taken from the oven minutes before. “So what brings you here, if
the Legion is in Lucia?”
“Scamander
has gone crazy, mother. I can’t tell you what they’re saying,
it’s so horrid. Father has to come back to defend his name, our
name.” Publius
stopped to gulp down food as he explained. “Jania is scared to go
outside anymore, Jacob to even be seen. At his home! With his wife!
At least Marcus is teaching at the Academy, but more than enough
rumors come from that to feel safe. There’s something amiss in
Caria. The Legions of the East are the only one who have escaped all
the battles. I don’t know what I can believe, but rumor is they’re
jealous of our ‘glory.’ I could just see a leader jealous of
father lead the army jealous of us to war just to make a name of his
own. Pure insanity, and Marcus sitting in the heart of it.”
“Our
family spread to the four corners of Illyria.” Lydra mused. “Like
the seeds of daffodils blown to the wind.”
“I
almost wish Jania had left for Necia. But she loves Scamander too
much, no matter how it treats her. Girls love home more than life
itself.”
“Oh?”
Lydra laughed. “Then what am I doing here?”
“You’ve
moved back home yourself, of course.” Publius bantered. “Back
to the ogres. I bet you aren’t five miles from where you were
born.”
“Alright
then, what was I doing in Scamander?” She pressed.
“Spoiling
all my theories, I guess.” Publius surrendered as he ate more ham.
He hadn’t eaten so well since. . .he’d last been home.
“Confusing
men is what we do best.” Lydra smiled. “Confusing ourselves has
to be the close runner-up, though.”
Publius
laughed. “Give me a simple straight edge and point me at a simple
bad guy. War is the safest thing for boys. It’s the only time we
know what to do.”
“So
the girls sit safe at home and the boys march safely to war?”
“A
perfect world, don’t you think?”
“Almost.”
Lydra smiled. “So long as they keep marching safely back.”
“We
try.”
“You’ve
succeeded.”
“Well
we’re really good at that whole avoiding danger part.”
“I’ll
believe that when Marcellus doesn’t have to fight ten men at once
for just a single battle.”
“Oh
come now, he had five hundred other men and they were only ten
thousand.”
“More
like five hundred other men and a million guardian angels against ten
thousand.” Lydra smiled.
“Then
why retire? Why give up? When Illyria’s blessing is so obviously
upon him?”
“Maybe
you should ask him.” Lydra looked up to her husband standing at
the doorway. Publius turned around, his shoulder protesting the
motion. There was an immediate chilling of the room.
“Do
the Goddesses support every war?” Marcellus asked. “Every
victory part of the divine plan?”
“This
war was.”
“This
war was the result of incredible bravery led by incredible stupidity.
Bless the courage, curse the waste of it.” Marcellus walked over
and slipped an arm around Lydra without seeming thought.
“What
I see is a nation that served you, and in return you abandoned.”
“I
abandoned no one.” Marcellus answered forcefully. “The war was
over. It was time to go home.”
“The
wars are never over, father. You should know that the patricians are
at war with us right now. Are we going to let corruption eat Illyria
from the inside out?” Publius scoffed.
“Where
does it end, son? When do we get to come home? Do we have to march
against evil all our lives, and never do a thing of good? How much
must we tear down before we can build?”
“Why
build anything if it’s just going to be torn down?” Publius
countered.
“Everything
is lost with time.” Marcellus gestured with his free arm. “But
I built it. I didn’t destroy it. When I build it, I can step back
and say—‘I built that. I lived for life.’ When the destroyers
come to tear it down, I can step back and say—“The building may
be lost, but that it was built will never be. For a moment, life
reigned supreme, and that moment has all the meaning of eternity.”
“You
spout sophistry.” Publius shook his head. “If you don’t care
about the nation anymore, then what about our family?” Publius
looked at his embrace challengingly. “They’re going to leave us
a mockery for all history. And if you don’t care about honor, then
for Illyria’s sake, father, don’t you realize they’ll come for
your life once they’ve destroyed your name? You’ve got to fight,
or just sit there helpless when they come knocking at the door!”
“Some
wars can’t be won.” Marcellus sighed. “I can no more defeat
the demons as the goddesses themselves. We are all helpless against
the evil of others. Suffering always comes, people always fall into
temptation, people always hate one another. If only there were some
war that could destroy Evil forever. If only it were that simple!
That Evil would coalesce into some being that a sword could pierce!”
Marcellus for a moment took on the fire that animated his son. Then
realized it and looked back down.
“But it’s everywhere and
nowhere. Behind and to the side. You can’t go to war with evil,
son. Or else you’d have to kill everyone in the world. All you
can do is refuse to take part in it. For here is the law of all that
is Good: Far better to suffer evil than to cause it.”
“It
is just as evil to suffer as it is to harm! The only good person is
the one who refuses to do either, to be slaver or
slave! For what
good is a man who doesn’t value himself? What value in anything
that isn’t worth defending?”
“The
only evil one can suffer is a thing of dust. I might lose my cloak.
Or my arm. My house. Or my children. In such a case, I’d defend
those things with things of equal or lesser value. My life of dust
to protect the life of my children. That is the nature of
priorities.” Marcellus started pacing back and forth, restless in
the captivity of his own philosophy.
“The evil that comes from
harming others cuts far deeper, though, into the very soul. For on
one side, you are losing what you love. On the other, you are losing
love itself. And what is the worse life? One that watches beauty
perish? Or one where the concept of beauty itself perishes? To lose
things of value, or to lose the idea of value? To lose the flesh of
a soul, or to tear the soul from
your flesh? To see
a living world die? Or to live as one already dead? To suffer, or
to reject the divinity of yourself, of Man, and of the universe
itself, and be
nothing more than dust? Is
it better to live one
single moment with
love, or an eternity
of despair? Which
is more glorious? A rock that sits and sits and sits, or a baby born
and dead before the day is out? Which cause should we further?
Should we strip the souls of the living and sit down and harden into
rocks, just so that we can sit longer? Or should we live for life,
as short and tenuous as it pleases? For I tell you, far better that
I die in love with Freedom, than live as its destroyer. For on one
hand, a thing of dirt ends, and the stars blaze on. On the other,
the stars go out, and the dirt languishes in darkness forever. So I
will not go back to Scamander, and fight for my rightful place. I
will not escape the evil of death and dishonor by replacing it with
the end of the Republic. I will not substitute the worth of my life
for the worth of the freedom of all the lives that live and will ever
live. I will not rip out my soul to give my flesh another ten years
of sitting.”
“I
didn’t ask you to become Emperor!” Publius shouted. “Can’t
you see that freedom lives on only by the war to be free? Mahara
will always make us enslave each other, but we needn’t sit helpless
against him! This Republic has faced and destroyed tyrants before,
we can do it again! But only because heroes were always there to
meet them!” Publius rose from his chair to gain his full height.
“How
else does this end?” Marcellus challenged. “Illyria stretched
beyond its capacity, the provinces in rebellion, the City in chaos,
the people squabbling, the Senate corrupt? We all know that there is
only one end to
this! But I will
not be the ender! I will not be the one that cuts Her throat. They
will have to kill me first.”
“You
coward! Is that it, then? Better to give in, to die, to surrender,
to escape? Illyria on the brink of disaster, and all you want to do
is fall off the cliff first?
Is that what life is? No! You don’t just sit and watch things
end when you have the power to change them! Father, you’re the
only one who can save the Republic! Abandon it now, without having
tried, and you’re no better than the very ones who kill Her!
Anyone who doesn’t stop something is guilty of it! The blood is on
your hands!”
“I
tried!” Marcellus cried out. “I tried! And all it got me was
another war! There is no saving her, no mortal hand that can avert a
flood, than can turn back the sea! I thought it was a matter of
plugging a dike. But it isn’t, you see? This isn’t one problem
or another, this is fate.
This is history.
This was decided long ago. And not a single thing can change it
now.”
Publius
watched his father stunned. He had never seen his father defeated by
anything. And yet here he stood stating that he had already lost.
Father couldn’t lose. He was invincible. Not this. Never
despairing. Never Zakine’s dog. He sat back down in his chair so
as not to fall, rubbing his forehead with his hands. In a muted
voice, he spoke from under his hands. “Then if it must happen, at
least you should lead it. If you aren’t emperor, than whom? At
least you can channel it, guide it, minimize the harm and maximize
the good.”
“It
isn’t a matter of weighing out costs and benefits. It’s a matter
of principles.” Marcellus sighed with the pain of watching Publius
pained.
“Principles
serve men, men don’t serve principles.” Publius regained his
voice.
“If
we were gods, perhaps we could know when to serve our principles and
when to abandon them. Perhaps we would always know what was best and
we could calculate everything that will ever happen because of our
decisions. Perhaps we could always serve the best interests of
humanity even when we did those things most abhorrent to Man. But we
are not gods,
and we can’t know.
So I will serve the ideal of Man, which I do
know, and do
love, as best I
can. And not the reality of humanity, which I can’t
know, and can’t
serve in any way.”
Marcellus turned dramatically in his pacing.
“The blind can’t point the
way to the blind! A principle I can know, and serve, and follow. A
cause I can’t. A cause man was never destined to know. A cause
can never tell us what is the right thing to do. A cause can never
turn out the way we wish. If you abandon principles for a cause, you
have abandoned the greatest wisdom of humanity for the blindest
pursuit of futility, at the cost of your own soul, and to the
suffering of the whole world.”
“So
you’re just going to watch the world go to hell, and these words be
your only companion?” Publius looked up angrily. No, father
hadn’t despaired. He had rationalized his own cowardice. He
wasn’t broken, he was hiding
from the world. As though he were finished with it. As though the
world had failed him,
and not he the service to the world.
“You’d
be surprised how easy heaven is found.” Marcellus remarked. “When
good people do good things in good ways.”
“This
village, this is your answer to the future? A tiny light in the
midst of howling darkness?” Publius scoffed. It was a stupid
waste. Just a stupid village in the middle of nowhere.
“This
village, and all the others where good people keep living for the
Good. Lights will always shine so long as people live for the
light.”
“You
would save this one village, and abandon the rest of the world?”
“Perhaps
I’m letting both the village and the world live as it wishes to
live, and choosing where to live accordingly.” Marcellus rubbed
his forehead wearily. As though he’d had this argument too many
times with himself already.
“That’s
the coward’s way. The strong make
life good, they
don’t escape to
where life is good.”
“Happiness
cannot be forced or seized. Love cannot be taken or caught. Good
cannot be made. It can only be embraced, son. All good things
already exist, no mortal hand can create them. We can only embrace
them. We can only choose them.”
“Well
you go on soaking in your hot spring, then.” Publius stood up
angrily. “While I return to feeding the starving and protecting
the weak from bandits and thieves. And Illyria can decide which of
us loves life the more.” He looked at this room with hatred. This
entire place. He had to get out. Publius was making for the door
the moment he thought it. Gone before another word could be said.
He hated words. They never
made sense. All he wanted was to go back and do things again. That
was the only world that he could live in. The world of actions and
results. That was the only rightful place for men. Words were the
delight of sloth. Words were the dogs of Sheole.
Chapter 16.
“What
nonsense is this? A bet?” Zeno made a note to show his idea of
that.
“Yes,
a bet.” Marcus replied in good cheer. A smile covered his face,
the excited playful look of a child with a new game. “Too many
people think we speak only out of leisure, the idle games of idle
hands. Well then, surely if money is on the line they will see that
we speak for good reason. Whosoever proves his side shall win the
bet, and there we will have industrious hard working philosophers
earning their bread with hard-earned minas. If money alone can
determine the worth of one’s activity, than we shall set a value to
our work, and thus our work shall be valued.”
“But
that’s ridiculous!” Zeno protested. “The work of philosophy
is the highest of all, there can be
no value set to it.
It is Truth itself!”
“Well,
certainly She won’t mind, then, if she deserves some millions of
mina, to provide her with a simple few hundred. I should say that if
she is valued so highly, it is strange that not a single pence is
traded for her.”
“Because
knowledge is free to all, not to be bought and sold. The purity
of the thing,
Marcus! You’ll make us the laughing-stock of the Academy!”
“Better
that than the laughing-stock of the world. You realize that
philosophy is like theatre to the onlookers? That we are performers,
and the people have a good laugh as they watch before they go about
their business?”
“Yes
of course, but some stay. Some stay and listen.”
“We
were all those boys who stayed once, and it’s grand to find more.”
Marcus agreed, still a boy but no longer treated as one. “But
eventually even we
begin to laugh at
ourselves, and then where will the state of Reason be? Should we
surrender now and let the priests tell us how the world is?”
“Of
course not. But how will a bet
change things?”
“I
don’t know.” Marcus laughed.
“You’re still a
mischievous rogue.” Zeno said. “How on earth did Scamander, the
capital of discipline, produce something so wild?”
“There
was enough discipline in my family. By the time they got to the
third child, they were tired of raising us. So I just sort of raised
myself.” Marcus gave a sly grin. “I’m a lesson to the parents
of the world.”
“Yes,
but in what sense?” Zeno remarked.
“I
guess that’s for them to judge.” Marcus laughed again, his eyes
widening to see the throng. “Look what a crowd our money has
brought!” He exclaimed delightedly. “Hurry, Zeno, to the
stage!” Marcus left his older companion behind as he sprinted for
the gathering. He had loved crowds since he was a child. All he
wanted was to be at the center of this one, and all the others.
Marcus threaded his way through the crowd, far too young, they
assumed, to be anything but an onlooker. Until he took his first
steps upon the stage, and the crowd began laughing at the spectacle.
Marcus pulled out the bag of his wealth from his cloak, however, and
gave a bright smile and bow to the crowd. Being of the Sunhand,
Marcus had never been poor, though he had lived as such. It was just
a matter of using money to achieve important ends. Not in saving it
for nothing, or spending it on nothing.
“Friends,
we are gathered here today to see a rare spectacle under the sun!”
Marcus announced, in his clear musical voice that he could project to
the edges of the Amphitheatre. “Today philosophy will determine a
definite winner and a definite loser, and the victory will have a
definite reward! Today philosophy joins the rest of society in the
quest for wealth, the only worthwhile end of man!”
The
crowd laughed again, knowing that Marcus was mocking them and not
minding. He was too sweet and happy to think of it as any sort of
malice. It was a joke, on how the world worked, not on them, and
thus it was to be enjoyed.
“I
stand ready to defend all my claims with my money pouch. The crowd
shall give its approval. There will be no confusion, no resentment,
whoever wins the ear of the masses is surely the champion of Reason!”
The
crowd laughed again at Marcus’ obvious irony. Already they were
entertained, this was exactly what they needed. Some foolish
character to delight them for a time before they went their way.
Tonight they could all tell about the young philosopher who tricked
money out of the duller tongued.
“So
let us begin. Of all you philosophers hiding amidst the crowd,
surely one of you dares to believe that he is right and I am wrong,
on any subject we may approve of?”
Zeno
quickly started the contest, not letting the momentum weaken. “I
challenge you!” He stepped into the ring, giving a performer’s
bow to the crowd. “On a simple thing: I believe there is a soul!”
The
crowd cheered in response.
Marcus
gave a wry grin at his friend and turned to the crowd. “On this I
must say I should hope to be the loser. For better to have lost a
wager than the souls of all humanity!”
The
crowd laughed in agreement.
“Nevertheless,
I will gird my loins. For money, my friends, is the only object of
worth in this world. And for it I must fight with tooth and nail,
tongue and wit, though it proves I have no soul at all!”
Again
they laughed for his irony. Marcus had endeared himself to the
crowd, though his arguments would be those most hateful to them. It
was the art of a performer to not be taken seriously. That was how
comedies were allowed to say what they would, and that was how Marcus
intended to speak his mind as well.
“For in
nature one can see many laws, whose natural extension leads to three
inseparable conclusions: everything that has happened has a cause.
There is no smallest point, that cannot be divided yet further. And
there is no end to time or space, but it stretches in every direction
forever. For imagine that space had an end, the question begs only
“what then?” For space to be limited would require a limiter,
and in so-doing the limiter itself would stretch into infinity. For
time to have a beginning, would require something before then to
begin the beginning, and thus time stretches into infinity. For
space to reach an indivisible object, the object must still take up
space, and thus be divided so that it takes even less space. But in
always having space, there will be smaller amounts of space into
infinity. For something to happen, there is always something that
caused it. Bread does not bake on its own. People do not suddenly
begin to float. Always things happen only as natural results of
determined rules. And thus, there can be no determiner
that is not himself
determined.
However far one asks why, like a child, there is always an earlier
cause that the why can be asked of again. Where, then, is a soul to
be found? It can have no beginning, no beginner, it can begin
nothing, it can’t exist as the indivisible, and thus, immortal pure
Self that we could all wish to be. The laws of nature strike down
the soul as sheerest fantasy.”
The
crowd watched entranced. Marcus had seemed so sure. And none had an
answer, because they could all see in nature the very laws he
presented.
“These
are all very good points in the world of nature.” Zeno agreed.
“But existing consanguineously with the laws of nature are the laws
of morality. None can defy the existence of your laws before their
eyes. However, nor
can they defy the
truth that all humans feel the need to seek and do the right
thing. For this
awareness of a proper
manner of living
would presuppose a
free will that can choose the right thing upon finding it. For a
free will to exist would require
something free of the very laws of nature itself, which states that
all of nature is an effect of an earlier cause. Moreover, that there
is a
right and wrong thing to do, and it is not just a matter of debate,
proves that there is an essential nature to all humanity that shares
the wisdom of right and wrong. Murdering, stealing, lying, the world
over is
wrong. Nurturing, growing, helping, the world over
is right. Within
ourselves we find that our nature is filled with a divine
wisdom, a universal
wisdom, and a free
will to follow it.
For such a thing to be requires not only a soul, independent of
nature, but a Supreme Wisdom, also
independent of
nature, to have created our very souls, that reflect this divine
wisdom upwards to Heaven itself.”
The
crowd cheered enthusiastically for this, the more violently for its
earlier fear of defeat.
“What,
then, is the nature of freedom?” Marcus asked. “But to have no
limits whatsoever? For us to have a free will, how can this free
will have pre-existing
knowledge of right
and wrong, for would that not be a limit to its freedom in deciding
that of its own? To have a free will, it must be free of any
influence, whatever its source, or it is not free. And if we all
contain the seeds of a divine wisdom, how is it that we falter at our
every steps, never knowing in which direction to go? And if we, or
our souls, are the creation of a Supreme Wisdom, why then is this
wisdom lost on her creation? To the point, even, that we know not
that we were created at all? For nothing perfectly Good can create
anything but Good. For nothing perfectly wise can create anything
but perfect wisdom. Perfection is capable only
of perfection, by
definition.
For that is the meaning of perfect! And though you may be perfect,
my friend, I find myself two inches shorter than I should desire, not
nearly as rich, and far too weak.”
The
crowd laughed approvingly, even though his point was against them.
“Grant,
then, that we have a soul.” Marcus pressed. “Though it exists
nowhere in nature, but is discovered only through reflection into our
own existence as a prerequisite. This soul enigmatically enters into
our flesh, guides it for a time, none too well, then leaves it again
when the flesh expires. Something like a mercenary who joins the
army in good times and leaves in bad, having done nothing for the
cause inbetween.”
The
crowd laughed again. Carians were notorious mercenaries, and proud
of it.
“Why
did this soul ever bother to become enfleshed in the first place?
What purpose does it serve? For a soul must be immortal, and thus
unchanging, and thus already complete. It would
gain nothing from
living, just as it loses nothing in dying. An unwanted houseguest
may come for a time to eat your food, kiss your daughters, or enjoy
your entertainment, but will we accuse our souls of sporting in this
realm for the pleasantries of the flesh? Surely our souls have
no desires, being
fulfilled and complete in
themselves. For a
soul to exist, by definition, it would never act,
but only be. And thus souls cannot enter and leave the world of
nature like passing strangers, like journeyman on some quest, because
that would degrade our souls to something as poor as the very flesh
they inhabit.” Marcus paused to give Zeno the field. The
friendship between them was obvious to everyone, which kept the words
from holding any sting to the onlookers, for they saw that the
participants meant none.
“Such
an argument would also proclaim the Goddesses, being perfect, as
incapable of action as well. Are we to believe that the result of
perfection is non-existence,
a state of nothingness, stretching into infinity, like the stars
above?” Zeno retorted. “Capable only of sitting, like some dead
rock? If the goal of thought is Truth, then will thought cease when
Truth is found? And if so, which of the two would we more willingly
lose? A state of perfection cannot
be a state of rest,
of completion, for that goes against all our ideals of a perfect
life. A perfect life is one of meaning and value, action and
creation, a continuous
quest for greatness
that is never
fulfilled. A
perfect being does not lay down and die, it keeps climbing, not
towards a state of completeness, but towards one of greatness,
a desire that can never be fulfilled. Our souls are not here for
sport, but as the source and receiver of all good things. All that
lives, loves, and all that loves, lives. Love is not found in the
flesh, but in the soul alone.
That our souls are the bonds between all lovers everywhere, is the
greatest proof of the soul, and also the greatest proof that our
souls are alive,
in the most basic meaning of the word, that it desires.
What is the reason for Nature’s creation? As the world of order
where creation is possible. For in a world of chaos, nothing can
last or hold, but all is vague and without form. Nature is the
canvas of Perfection’s art. Here alone can greatness be created
and here alone can it be admired. Only within Nature is Beauty, only
within life is Love. We are the vessels of our souls, the eyes, the
witnesses, to the glory, the divinity, the unity, the perfection
of reality. It is
for this awe that even Goddesses joy in partaking. This awe is
seated not in our flesh, but in our souls. And that is why we, in
feeling this divinity, are not the vessels of divinity, but the very
divinity we discuss, and profess not to know!”
The
crowd roared again in approval, Marcus’ arguments left in seeming
tatters. The argument raged from justice to faith to suffering,
weapons hurled upon one another like thunderbolts and hurricanes,
leaving the crowd silent with awe and anticipation. The philosophers
seemed to be the champions of truth itself, wresting it from each
other’s hands. Whosoever spoke last held the field, until the
other returned with a greater army and won the day. The bet had lost
all significance in anyone’s minds. That evening was spent staring
and listening for the sake of the wisdom the philosophers themselves
valued. In that evening, Marcus had reached more people with the
value and worth of thought than the fifty years of lectures to young
boys had before. And though Marcus eventually had to hand over his
money pouch to the great zeal of the crowd, he had scored the most
dramatic victory for the Academy since the days of its founding. His
smile throughout, his breathless enthusiasm in defeat, the light in
his eyes as he bowed one last time, was proof enough that all who
loved reason were the winners today.
“I tell you the earth
circles the sun.” Marcus continued, his dry throat cracking from
the argument as they walked towards home. The Academy was home, and
they loved it. Some of the people there traveled the world
practicing their art, only coming and going intermittently to report
their successes or have fun with friends. Others tended to the
gardens or the buildings and just enjoyed listening to the
conversations and the companionship of the grounds. The sense of
community, of belonging, extended to all the branches and all the
people who served the arena of thought. Some came occasionally, busy
with real jobs, or true families. Others lived together, closer
lovers than those that went home to wives. For theirs was a unity
that contained the whole of their lives. The same goal, the same
work, the same circumstances, there was no separating them in any
way. One was always beside the other, in work and play, day and
night. Many loved Marcus with that fierceness, the prestigious child
of the most prestigious family of Illyria, and also the brilliant
showman that leant a face and a voice to the interests of them all.
Marcus could not return their love, though, which hurt him in a deep
way that he didn’t let show. He was here under his father’s
will, not against his. And as such, it would be a betrayal of his
trust to defy him. It would almost have been easier if father were
totally against him, for then rebellion would be against an enemy,
and not a father. As it was, he was fenced in by devotion and the
very trust that allowed him to violate it. Short of a few shy
kisses, Marcus was the example of celibacy for the priests. He loved
Zeno, and Zeno loved him. But there it stopped, as it stopped
everywhere. It was for the better, perhaps. More people would
listen to him without prejudice if he did not offend their
sensibility. He lived for the crowd, more so than any particular
person. He would not give them up for anyone.
“It’s
as clear as day that the sun circles the earth!” Zeno protested,
jarring Marcus back to reality. “If the earth were in motion, we
would feel it. Take a ball, and put a coin atop it. Then rotate the
ball: the coin falls off! Why aren’t we being flung off the
earth?”
“We
all know that the sun is the source of energy of the earth. At day
it is warm, the plants live off light, and so forth.” Marcus
explained. “Now how could such a small ball give off that much
energy, for time immemorial? Heat and light is the product of fire,
and we all know that fire consumes matter. The sun is a giant ball
of fire that has been burning since ever, a strong enough fire to be
just a circle in the sky and still give life to the whole of the
earth. For such a fire to burn, and keep burning, and produce such
an effect at such a distance, would require a humongous
object, far larger
than the earth, than ten times earth!
“The
moon, however, we know to be a third the size of earth, as we can see
the earth’s shadow exceeding the moon in times of eclipse. Now,
every month a full orbit is made concerning the moon, as we can see
by the phases, and every year an orbit is made concerning the sun, as
we can see by the seasons. It follows, then, that the larger an
object the slower its period of revolution. Now it comes to simple
mathematics: The moon is a third the size of the earth, and travels
at twelve times the speed in its orbit than the mysterious other
orbiter x, which is yet to be seen as the earth or sun. Now, if the
sun made an orbit of the earth twelve times as slow as the moon, it
would be only twelve times the size of the moon, only four times as
large as the earth. But the sun is much larger than that. It would
take more like ten years for the sun to circle the earth. But we
know that the orbit is
made in a year, and
thus the object must be more massive than the moon, and yet not as
massive as the sun. This object could only be the earth!”
“But
if the earth is only three times as large as the moon, how is it
twelve times as slow?” Zeno asked.
“Perhaps
the earth is more massive than the moon. Also, the earth must cover
a much larger area to orbit the sun than the moon does the earth.
For we all know that the sun is further away than the moon. Now
imagine the sun making such a large orbit at such a size in a year!
It would be like watching a fat man run ten times as fast and far as
our best Olympians.”
“This
law, that things move around their orbits in proportion to their
size, is all well and good. But it is far more theoretical than the
basic fact that we are not moving, when the earth in your case must
be zipping around the cosmos. Why, if we were moving, do we not see
the stars shift in relation to us? Throughout the year, they
maintain their same locations, save for the wandering stars. If we
were in motion, they would move as well.”
“Not
if the stars were so far away we could not perceive any shift.
Besides, these wandering stars also require explanation. How can
these stars at first move in one direction, then turn and start
moving the other? When a ball is thrown, does it ever stop and
reverse its course through the air? Why, then, would the heavens act
in such a peculiar manner?”
“Perhaps
the universe is a very peculiar place.” Zeno maintained.
“Impossible,
Illyria did not create a self-contradictory universe, but one of
perfect unity for us to observe and discover. We have to believe
that, or we can never know anything, for it could always change
tomorrow. There must
be a unified order
to the universe and everything within it. The motions of all objects
must share the same principles.”
“This
coming from the boy who disproved the Goddess hours before?” Zeno
raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. Marcus laughed at the
reminder.
“These
wandering stars, they do not make sense if they are orbiting the
earth. It would make as much sense for the sun to change its course
in the sky. The only thing that makes sense is that they are all
orbiting, along with
us, the sun.
Picture a chariot race, and all these stars along with us racing
circles around the sun. On those that must make a larger circuit on
the outer edges than those who rush around the inside of the arena,
at first they are seen as moving in the same direction. Picture
yourself watching the other chariots as you pass them by, though they
are still moving in the same direction, it is as though they have
stopped, and started going in the other direction, in relation to
yourself, which has overtaken them and is now leaving them behind due
to our more inward position. This fits how we see the wandering
stars exactly.
It is obvious that these other bodies are just further out than we,
all of us orbiting the sun. Now, for the earth to sit still, the
transition from day to night would require the sun to make a full
circuit around the earth in the passage of a mere 24 hours, and so
would the moon, and so would all the stars in the sky be racing at
this incredible speed. It is obvious that the earth must be
rotating, and thus only our perspective is moving while the rest
stays virtually still. For place me on our chariot once again, and
you can just stand still a distance off. On my rushing chariot, I
can see you half the circuit, but on the other half I’m facing the
wrong direction. Now, either
I can remark upon
my chariot how quickly you on foot manage to run around me, that in
fact, how quickly the whole stadium seems to run around me, or I can
realize that I alone am moving and the motion is only an illusion of
perspective. Just like when I spin in a circle.” Marcus spun
around to elaborate the point.
“The earth is rotating, or
the whole universe is sprinting at unimaginable speed, the greater
and greater the further away. The Goddess would seek simplicity, we
can only hope, and thus the earth is rotating. If the earth is
already moving as quickly as that, and we maintain the illusion of
stillness, then obviously it can also be revolving around the sun and
the illusion be maintained. For now picture yourself upon your
chariot, except closed off from senses of the outside world. In this
little bubble of you and the chariot, you are at
rest in relation to
the chariot, though the chariot is zooming along fast as ever. Just
so, because we are moving at the exact same speed as the earth upon
which we stand, we are at rest in relation to it.”
“Yes
but if you move fast enough the chariot will throw you off of itself
as it curves, which the earth is doing in rotation and
revolution. Why
doesn’t the speed of motion throw us off the earth?” Zeno
complained.
Marcus
jumped, landing lightly. “Here I detached myself from the earth,
and yet I did not leave it.” Marcus marveled. “A rider stands
atop his chariot, just as a coin balances atop a ball, but there is
no connection between them, and thus they fall off easily. However,
it is impossible to fall off the earth, though the forces are much
stronger against us than in the earlier cases. The force of our
angular motion, and of our jumping, and all other activity, must be
trumped by
a yet greater force that holds us to the earth. Will a rider be
flung from his chariot if he clutches tightly to his reins? Well
imagine a hold so strong that nothing can be flung off, that we are
clutched tight to the bosom of the earth, so tight that it pulls us
back to the ground almost the moment we jump away from it. This same
force is what holds the moon around the earth, and the earth and all
the wandering stars around the sun. Always the larger objects
holding the smaller, and never the other way around. Since the earth
is much larger than us, we are caught within in, more firmly than any
forces trying to knock us away from it.”
“A
fundamental force that guides the motions of all the objects of the
universe?” Zeno scoffed. “That’s a more fanciful invention
then the whole of the universe racing circles around us.”
“Without
a force of attraction, why does anything stay together? We should
quickly all be flung apart to the ends of the universe.”
“With
this force of attraction, shouldn’t everything be gathered together
in one place, and no spaces left inbetween?”
“It’s
not so strong as that.” Marcus defended, reaching the turning
point to his room. Many of the boys lived communally with meals,
baths, housing, and the like. It brought them together, and was
cheaper, one of the prime concerns of people who did not spend time
working for their money.
“I
fear in solving one mystery you have only created a greater.” Zeno
commented. “But then, you were never one to sheer off from the
search only from the immensity of the task. I wish you luck.”
“My
thanks.” Marcus smiled. “And if you wouldn’t mind, could you
offer lunch to me these next few weeks? I find myself low on funds.”
Then he winked, and Zeno laughed. And the two separated with a
small sigh to their separate homes.
Chapter 17.
Marcus
made his way to his bed, but he wasn’t in the slightest capable of
sleep. His mind was abuzz with thoughts. Zeno was right, if there
were a universal force of attraction, then given infinite time, the
only possible result would be the matter of the entire universe
collected into a single mass. Would that mean that the universe had
to be still young, and thus an obvious product of a Creator? Or
would it mean that he was just wrong, because the universe was
ageless, and this force, however slight, given enough time, would
have triumphed long ago. Infinitely long ago, in an infinite scale
of time. But it had made so much sense. It was amazing how
another’s slightest reflection of a matter could reveal more than
any additional thought one could have. Yet another thing to think
about. Marcus lay in his bed, his eyes staring upwards, the thoughts
crowding each other for attention. There was something he had
mentioned in his argument, but hadn’t gotten to expand. What was
it? He needed to write that down. Marcus got up and went quickly to
his desk, biting his ever-ready pen.
“A
free will can not discover morality, but only invent it. For if the
will were under the sway of a law of morality that transcended it,
then it would no longer be free. Thus morality must never exceed
its creator. Whatever method we devise, it must always remain a
method, gained through reflection and experience, and never a
command. We cannot proceed as strong-arms of the law, bullying our
ways into the homes and lives of all those beneath us. But as humble
guides, who create trails for our own benefit to pass through the
forest, and invite all those who find the trail pleasant to follow or
even walk beside. No matter how well beaten the trail becomes, it
can never be the
one and only path of
virtue, but only a
path. People must
always reach this assurance, this knowing, and others are all too
willing to provide it. But those who provide it do so only as
Mahara’s dogs, out of the desire for worship and the desire to
control. And those willing to obey do so only as Sheole’s dogs,
out of desire for assurance and security to the point of
relinquishing the very freedom that makes them divine. The free will
necessitates ignorance as to what to do, for if there were a
fundamental law that answered this question, then the will would be
subject to law in the very area of its supposed freedom, and not the
determiner of it. We are free not only to obey or disobey the law,
for in that case one could say that all laws are not binding as we
can disobey them. We must be free to be the arbiters of the law, and
in that way only is freedom real.” Marcus
chewed on his pen, wondering how real freedom had to be. People
would perfectly well compromise the freedom of the soul in order for
the realization of a fundamental answer to the soul’s direction.
He could not leave that to a judgment of value. There had to be a
way to disprove it logically, and not just appeal to ideals that ran
contrary to it. Marcus sat back and thought, not knowing how to
argue more effectively when he himself was already convinced. He
needed Zeno to talk it over with. Marcus thought for a moment of
walking over there. It was so appealing. All he had to do was get
up and walk over there. Why was he still sitting? What kind of
morality set itself against love? And yet, if he loved so much, then
why would it be necessary to be anything but pure? Marcus steeled
himself as he sat, staring at his paper but no longer seeing it.
True love wouldn’t think of beds at night. True love would feel
safe in the open air of day. Not creeping through the shadows. This
was not the way.
What
was, then? Surely there was a right way. There always had to be a
right way given any situation. Souls desired love just as bodies did
food. Was this desire, then, a limit to their freedom? No. Because
a soul could not enslave itself, because it was itself. Anything
within the soul was also the soul, and there was no such thing as one
part of one’s Self mastering another, for it was all one Self.
Marcus rubbed his forehead wearily, then pulled his hand back. How
many times had he seen his father do just that? A ghost of a smile
graced his face as he fell into memory. I
wonder how much of father is with me that I don’t even notice, but
he must see and love all his days? I wonder if he ever thinks of me
anymore, or if I’m devoted to an illusion. I wonder if anything I
do matters in the least to him.
But that was just escaping responsibility. When someone entrusted
his cane to another, though he didn’t return for it in fifty years,
abrogating the responsibility of trusteeship was still a betrayal.
Marcus thought wryly on how Anaxagoras had promised happiness as the
fruit of thought. Yet it seemed thought’s highest endeavor to deny
happiness to those who served it. Perhaps because happiness was not
Reason’s goal. Or perhaps because happiness was for those who
delighted in the Good, and not in evil. All he could do was forbear
from his desires, when a good person would desire the very things to
be pursued. Some sort of divine test, to give him such powers of
thought and array them against such a rebellious body. Some sort of
question to see which prevailed. Such a strange world the gods must
live in. They alone knew all the things he had ever wished to know,
and yet they had inspired the very curiosity which they deigned not
to satisfy. Like some sort of torture. Though he could only pity
the animals that were so happy around him. Perhaps the gods and
their offspring shared something unique, the will to put things
higher than pleasure. Perhaps to the gods pain was a gift, the
crucible of souls, the messenger of the worth for which one suffered.
For the value of things was determined solely by the suffering
necessary to achieve them. That Truth was the most painful quest of
all was Illyria’s way of saying it was also the most valuable.
Something like that. Marcus looked wearily at his bed and wondered
how many more nights he could divert his body with these tricks of
the mind. This
night at least. Tomorrow I can fight again. But tonight I am the
victor. See, my Goddess? We are not so weak after all. I have won
again. I have won all my life. Though you should defeat me
tomorrow, that would be only one defeat, and the streak of victories
left untarnished in rows of years behind. You could never be as
victorious as that.
The
door barged open, Marcus jumping in surprise as he tried to escape
from his chair. “Marcus!” The man called, and suddenly it was
no stranger but his brother standing before him. “I’m glad
you’re still awake.”
“What
are you doing here?” Marcus asked, finally clambering out of his
chair. “Is there something wrong?”
“With
our family? Yes. But I’m more concerned about the world falling
apart right now.”
“How
so? I mean about our family.” Marcus quickly stressed his
priority.
“Well,
nothing between us.
But Scamander wants our heads. You’re a scandalous profligate
catamite. Jania and I are bastards. Lydra’s an adulterer.
Father’s a coward and a traitor. The whole family is being torn
apart.”
“Well
so long as its Mahara and not Sheole doing it.” Marcus smiled
wryly. “But wait, go back, why are you here?”
“It’s
madness. I’m here to lead an invasion into Datia.”
“But
we just got out of a war! We barely escaped from starvation just
this spring!” Marcus protested.
“Caria
didn’t. These
legions haven’t fought at all, and there’s only been prosperity.
After all the other legions taking the glory, are they going to sit
here and twiddle their thumbs?”
“But
surely the City will rein them in! How can Illyria sanction this
war?”
“Because,
how else but through military victory will the Consuls become popular
with the masses? All the wars have been for Marcellus. They need
glory too. Glory enough to return home with enough riches and fame
to seize the dictatorship.”
Publius pronounced the last word with a sense of desperate energy.
“But
that’s madness! There’s no way we could defeat Datia! Not after
what we’ve been through.”
“There
is a
way.” Publius contradicted. “And it would be Marcellus leading
this army. He always finds a way to win. And it’s the only way to
stop Crassus from returning from the war as emperor. But father
won’t listen.”
“Father
always listens.” Marcus said.
“Well.”
Publius chewed his lip. “Never to reason.”
Marcus
laughed. “Never to our
reason. He follows
his own pretty well.”
“He
follows his own far too well. He’d rather follow his principles
than save the entire world.”
“What
matters more, the fate of a single immortal soul or the entirety of
mortal flesh?”
“Don’t
you give me sophisms.” Publius cut short. “I can’t escape
these stupid
sophisms.”
“This
is Tethys.”
Marcus reminded him humorously.
“Yes
well, fathers and old wise men are allowed to say these things
because we have to respect their opinion no matter how insane. But I
don’t have to put up with it from kid brothers.”
“Alright,
I won’t give you sophisms.” Marcus promised. “But why
are you here?
Sophisms are all I can give. That or poems. Though I haven’t
written any in a while.” Marcus seemed a little sad about that.
“Don’t
you see?” Publius turned on him. He had such an energy of tension
around him, it was a wonder he didn’t explode. Like he was trying
to hold on to everything and it was all running in different
directions, and only his grip was keeping it from splitting apart.
But brother, Marcus
thought, all it will
do is split you apart along with it. “War
with Datia! Even if we manage to win, which we won’t, it’s the
death knell to the Republic. You have
to talk to father.”
Marcus
closed his face. “You know I can’t make any difference.”
“Well
try!
For Illyria’s sake, this nation is going to die! Doesn’t anyone
care? Am I the only one who wants to do anything?”
“Why
are you participating in this?” Marcus suddenly wondered.
“Because
it’s my duty.” Publius replied, looking away. Then he forced
himself to look at Marcus again. The two stared at each other for an
unbroken minute. “Because.” He finally sighed. “Because just
maybe I can change the future. If I’m there, I can win. If
Illyria blesses me like father. Just maybe I can win this war, and
Crassus won’t come back to claim the glory.”
Marcus
looked at his brother with wide eyes. Like a stranger he’d never
known before. “Then what? You do?”
Publius
steeled himself. “Scamander is a pit of vipers. But Crassus, if
he wins this, will have the edge on all the rest. He’ll have
enough support to become Emperor. But if I
win this. . .”
Publius looked away again. “Marcus, are you with me?”
“I
promise I’m not against you.” Marcus said.
“I
suppose that’s the best I can get from a sophist.” Publius
smiled wryly. “Alright then, I haven’t said this to anyone. But
Marcus, I’m the eldest son of the greatest man in the nation. I
know that means little right now, when I’ve done nothing. But
people will think of it. Father refuses to march on Datia and come
back as emperor. But if I can, then I will. God knows the last
thing I wanted was to be emperor. But if it is me or Crassus and
that’s the only decision left, I have
to do this. And
I’m the only one who can
do this now. All
the glory of my father will rest on me. They’ll even think I’m
becoming emperor only because Marcellus is too old, but under his
tutelage and by his will. I can return as triumphant leader, as the
end to corruption, and as the son of the nation’s saviour. . . Of
course I will end
the corruption. And the rebellions. And the wars. I can set
everything right. Better than under the republic, I can set things.”
“But
emperor, Publius. You’d be enslaving the nation for the rest of
time. Subject to the whims of all the tyrants that follow in your
stead. And by the Goddess, they’ll want your throat. It will be
civil war, as factions seek to seize power. And then constant
assassination, a life led in terror, food and wine poisoned, beds
with daggers. . .” Marcus couldn’t even think of the horrors
that would follow.
“That’s
why I’m truly here.” Publius admitted, fidgeting nervously.
“You are as much father’s son as I. Think about it, and we truly
are just the two halves of him. I the warrior, you the thinker. And
they’ve seen you. People know you, they admire you. For a moment,
all of Scamander was breathless and silent from your words. And
you’re father’s son.
My brother.”
“Don’t
be ridiculous!” Marcus hissed, backing away with his arms
upraised. “I’d make a horrible emperor. I can’t even run my
own life, much less the nation’s! I can’t see deceit or danger.
The first person who wanted me dead would have me dead.”
“It
doesn’t matter if we’re qualified or not.” Publius pressed.
“We’re the only ones who can do this. If not us, than whom? You
can’t shirk duty with incompetence. Incompetence isn’t the
question here. The most simple dullard is better than a tyrant. If
you just sat there
you’d be saving this nation. If we can secure some sort of legacy,
Marcus. If chaos won’t be at the beginning and end of every reign.
If I become emperor, with you already my designated heir, they won’t
kill me. Because there’s no use, you’d just step up, and they no
closer to the goal.”
“So
then they kill me too!” Marcus insisted.
“Well
for Illyria’s sake I’d hope you’d kill the killers before
that!” Publius laughed in exasperation. “Is there no filial
loyalty in you at all?”
“But
this is. . .this is ridiculous. We’re going to risk our lives to
enslave our own beloved land? This isn’t good for ourselves or
our people. This
is the stupidest thing possible.”
“No,
I’ll tell you something even stupider. Illyria descends into civil
and foreign wars, breaks apart into pieces, warlords fight over them,
the whole nation crumbles, and the ogres eventually reach the very
sea. You’ve been away, Marcus. But I’m right there, and I know
this. We need an
emperor. We need a strong hand, or else this will spin totally into
chaos. That’s what the people realize, that’s what the leaders
realize. The only question now is whom.
Who will it be, Marcus? A fool willing to go to war and risk our
entire nation for personal glory? A conspirator willing to
assassinate his enemies to win the throne? A populist who makes
vague speeches to sway the crowds? Who should determine the fate of
our nation? It has to be us. It has to be me. But if it’s me, it
has to be you too. I’d die in an instant alone.
“Once
in the ancient past two brothers were the champions of the people.
The older brother tried to get the Senate to relieve debts and
distribute the land fairly, and the vested powers had him killed.
Then five years later his younger brother came into his own, and
tried the same thing, and he was also killed. It was such an obvious
lesson that it’s a wonder that this isn’t fable but truth.
Together they could have done it, Marcus. Apart they were just
destroyed, and the People without the courage to stand up for either.
They love us, as Marcellus’ sons. They’ll love you, with that
perfect tongue. They’ll love me, as the hero and victor in war, as
the inheritor of father’s prowess. Together the ‘powers’ dare
not touch us, apart they’ll burn us each alive, and not a hand will
stop them. We don’t have to be another lesson in history. We
don’t have to be another brothers Gracchi. We can save them. We
have to try.”
Marcus
looked at his brother with a new admiration. “I was just thinking.
. .” Marcus paused to figure out what he was thinking. “Here
and now, this must be the most important decision in my life, more
important than most people ever make. And after all that I’ve
learned and taught. . .not a single bit of it helps me at all. Not
one damned bit. A total blank. Not a single word telling me what to
do.”
“I’m
telling you what to
do.” Publius pushed, not seeing that he’d already won.
“Publius,
what you’re saying. . .all I know is that it feels right. After
all the weight I put on thought. All that I know is that this feels
right. Like the whisper of the Goddess telling me the right thing to
do. Just waiting for me to stop buzzing and just listen. She must
have been whispering all this time, and I never patient to listen.”
Marcus marveled.
“You’ll
do it then?” Publius looked up. Simple answers were all he
sought.
“Yes.”
Marcus nodded. “Through us father will be emperor after all.”
“We’ll
make him proud.” Publius promised. A rush of relief followed him,
like the ropes pulling at him had been suddenly cut. The danger had
only increased, now that his intention was known. But that his
brother affirmed him, agreed with him, made him feel like there was
no pressure at all. It
wasn’t the tension of the situation after all. Publius
mused. All the
strain was from my own self doubt. A clear mind about to die is a
thousand times more at peace than one not sure of his own motives.
Praise the Goddess, that she’s set my mind at ease. She just
affirmed me here. Marcus said she did. That the whisper of the
Goddess herself said yes. She’s with me. The Goddess is with me.
It was the most
peaceful thought he’d had all spring. She’s
with me so I must succeed. She’s with me because I am for her.
She knows my heart pure, and agrees. I’m doing the right thing.
I’m going to succeed. All will be well. And all will be well.
And all manner of things will be well.
“I
was just wondering.” Marcus laughed, breaking the silence. “How
I’m supposed to go back to writing essays for the next five months
waiting like some lass for your return. I guess I’ll get to see
how mother felt all this time. Her whole life a tiny buzzing in the
corner of her mind, which is aimed—focused-- on the events entirely
beyond her control.”
“I
couldn’t bear to do that to my wife.” Publius agreed.
“Oh?
Just your brother?” Marcus arched an eyebrow.
“Something
like that.” Publius replied. Then they both smiled. It was the
closest they’d ever been.
Chapter
18.
The
marketplace carried the scents of spices and perfumes in a heady
mixture almost designed to complement one another. Flowers hung
strewn down vines draping the walls, desert white, bright enough to
seemingly give off their own light. Girls danced in brass and gold,
thin gauze of silk and linen in tantalizing red and blue and green.
Their skin was brazen from the heat, their hair bleached from it.
The sun was like a living being, another presence that filled the
street. It wasn’t floating in the heavens, but standing straight
in the center of the street, greeting every passerby, shouting louder
than all the voices of the people combined. The sun was here.
Publius could feel it on his skin. Burning hot. Amazingly hot.
He’d thought it hot in Scamander. This was just insane. No wonder
he’d not seen another northerner the entire walk. They had all
shriveled up and died, he was sure of it. He looked at his hand to
make sure it hadn’t withered. He had seen men burn, their skin
crinkling away like so much black paper. It had to be just exactly
like this. The sun was actually going to burn him alive.
“Excuse
me.” A young girl seized the moment Publius had paused to look at
his hand with. “A necklace for the lady? Would the Consul wish a
bracelet? A pretty ring? Surely your lady at home is waiting for
some prize.” She thrust the jewelry in his face, silver and gold
and brass in various intricate or simple designs. Publius wondered
how many lives were dying for these.
“I’m
a marshal, not a Consul.” Publius explained, stepping to the side.
She stepped with him, with such fluid grace that it was hard to tell
if she had moved at all. Then he realized of course she knew he
wasn’t a Consul. It had just been a complement. He was supposed
to have been flattered that she thought so much of him, and with his
new sense of ego be willing to buy something as expensive as a Consul
could afford. Amazing. Such guile in such an innocent face.
“I’ve
never seen eyes like yours.” The girl rushed. “And your hair!
Gold like strands of frozen sunlight! Your lady must love you very
much, to let you go so far from her.”
Publius
blushed. Her words were meaningless, just contrived. Just because
she was pretty and thought he was a Consul and thought he had a lady.
. . . “My only lady is Illyria.” Publius tried to state gruffly.
What was he saying? It was just a street hawker! He didn’t have
to explain to her! Except that it was suddenly important that she
understood. By the Goddess! He was trying to impress her!
“For
your mother then!” The girl touched his arm. “You must be her
fairest jewel.”
“Jania—“
Then Publius caught himself. He stepped aside again, but she held
on to his arm. “Please, would you let me pass?”
“For
Jania then!” She cried. “She must be very beautiful. A silver
necklace to go with her eyes!”
Two
men had caught the commotion and reached her. “Is this girl
bothering you, sir?” Suddenly the girl stood frozen, her eyes
widening like a doe’s. The grip on his arm became crushing, poised
between flight and hiding.
“No.”
Publius hastened. He thought of a thousand things to say, rejected
them all, and then just left it at that. He didn’t have to explain
himself to them.
They
looked at his marshal’s crest and quickly saluted, fist to chest,
before going about their business. It was good to see their
discipline as occupying forces. The legions were not falling apart
in the city, as so many other armies did upon conquest. Perhaps the
Leucadians had counted upon that, which was why they had left it to
be seized. Or perhaps for the more obvious reason that the attack
had come as a total surprise due to its utter insanity, and Leucadia
was stalling for time to gather forces and allies and supplies.
Perhaps it was enough of an edge, that if they pressed hard enough,
they could force a fight before it became utterly hopeless. Right
now he should be leading his cavalry at a forced march to enclose the
retreating King and cut him off from the north. Not wandering
through the city bazaar. And yet he could not think of a better time
or place to do what he had to do. All the stories talked about
Datian cities brimming over with every sort of good ever made. He
had to find it before they left the next day. And now people would
know he had been here. He felt like he was walking on eggs and not
allowed to break any.
The
girl was staring at him with relief, though he wasn’t sure what she
had been afraid of. Illyrians would never attack a city that had
surrendered peacefully. All the people here had the same rights as
any of the provinces, as a part of the Republic. That’s what
surrender meant. If the occupation forces stayed. The people here
were under the protection of law and of honor and of the Goddess
herself. Perhaps pretty girls holding riches had more reason to be
afraid. Though she certainly hadn’t been afraid of pestering him.
Was he really that gentle? What kind of marshal was he when doe-eyed
girls could leave him blushing and stammering?
Publius
returned to the problem at hand—getting this girl to release his
arm from the vice of her grip. “They’re gone now. See? No
one’s going to hurt you.” She just looked at him. “Here, now,
what’s your name?” He followed.
“Mirian.”
She said, relaxing her grip.
“You’re
right, Mirian. Jania would love a silver necklace for her blue
eyes.” He fished out his purse. He always had money, it just
never occurred to him to use it. But if buying a necklace meant
calming her down and letting him go on with his business, then it was
money well spent.
She
looked at him with this sense of overwhelming gratitude. It made him
blush again. He wasn’t doing anything admirable. Why was she
looking at him like that? He took the first necklace he could find
and gave her more coin than it could possibly be worth. “I can’t.”
She protested, holding the money back.
“Take
it, take it.” He murmured, closing her hand over it with his. It
had just been reflexive. He hadn’t meant to hold her hand. How
could her hand be this soft?
“At
least let me help you in return!” She protested again, her hand
not in the least shying from him. More like. . .tingling with quiet
power. “When I first saw you, you looked so lost. I can help find
what you want.”
He
shook his head. “No you can’t. Please, just, I have to be on my
way.” But he didn’t let go either. It was very odd. He
couldn’t seem to tell his hand to let go. She looked up at him
with wide eyes, just looked, waiting for him to let go of her hand.
But all he wanted to do was stare. It was ridiculous. He hadn’t
come for this. He had to--his mind paused, suddenly changing
tracks--come to think of it, so long as people thought he came for
this, no one would look at him twice for being here. She could be
his cloak. The answer to all the watching eyes. For a girl. Just
like everyone, here to pay a girl for the lonely trail. Nothing like
poison for his commander. “Alright.” Publius gave in. He let
go of her hand, reluctantly, but only with the knowledge that they
were still going to be together.
“Mirian,
I will trust you with this.” He casually started walking to an
alley. Just a soldier hiring a service. Nothing to hide. “I need
a poison. Something that goes with wine. It has to kill, just one
dose. Just the tiniest bit has to be enough. A lethal poison. It
doesn’t matter if people know. He just needs to die.”
The
girl’s eyes widened. “But why would you want something like
that?” At least she didn’t think him a gentle lamb anymore. He
hoped.
“Is
it not enough that I just want it?”
“No,
of course. I mean, yes. I mean, of course it doesn’t matter.”
She bit her cheek and ducked her face to hide her blush. The skin
was so dusky that only the faintest hue could be seen.
“All
you have to do is point the way. You don’t have to show me if you
don’t want to.” For some reason he hoped she would show him. Oh
yes. To protect from watching eyes. Besides, he might get lost.
“No,
I can find one. The apothecaries. . .there are some apothecaries who
deal with such things. The root of a plant healing, the stem poison,
and the like.” She was blushing deeper for some reason. Publius
didn’t understand why. “Here, just wait here.” She left the
alley with her jewelry with a quick flustered look. Of course she
couldn’t just wander off carrying all that stuff. He was being
such an idiot. If he wanted cover, why not be with a true
courtesan? Because
he hadn’t thought of that. Because it hadn’t occurred to him
until now and now it was too late anyway and he didn’t want to
leave her.
She
hurried back into his view, relieved to see he hadn’t left. “I
told them we were going to get your payment for the necklace. They
won’t mind when I return with this much.”
Publius
looked at her.
“Besides,”
she said, flustered. “It’s sort of true.”
Publius
wasn’t sure how it was true at all. But would he have thought of
something like that so quickly as that? How old was
she?
“It’s
this way.” She touched his hand with hers. This time there was
almost a surge passing between them. Gone as soon as come, with her
walking out of the alley confidently. He wondered if he should walk
behind her. Surely if she were a courtesan, he would walk beside
her. And she could guide him with slight pulls as they held hands.
Yes, it looked better that way. Of course, not if he were a customer
going to get his money pouch. Then he should be walking in front.
How many lies were they weaving around them? How easily did they
betray themselves just by their order of walking? He quickly caught
up to her and took her hand. She looked up at him with a sort of
surprise, but he wasn’t looking at her, so she relaxed. Obviously
this was for a reason. Not just him holding her hand.
Once
they had left the street, he explained. “It’s easier if they see
us together. It explains why I’m here. People notice me
otherwise.”
She
smiled in sympathy. “I wonder how people would ever not notice
you. Are you a hyperborean?”
“A
what?”
“I
guess not.” She blushed. It was so cute.
“What’s
a hyperborean?” He couldn’t just let it go now.
“If
you just keep traveling north, there’s a land so cold that only the
gryphons and the boreans can survive. The air is full of feathers,
so you can’t see more than a few yards. And the boreans, they have
blue eyes, and they fight with the gryphons for the cattle that they
herd. The children of the sun. . .” She gave up with an
apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Your eyes just reminded me of
that story.”
“It’s
sort of true.” Publius quickly defended her. “My mother was an
Ogre, of the tribes of Mania. Sometimes it snows so hard that the
sky looks full of feathers, and you can’t see your own hand.”
“But
you’re so. . .” She caught short, a thrill running through her
hand. “I just. . .I didn’t think Ogres would look like you.”
“Not
all of them do.” Publius smiled wryly. She was about to say
beautiful. He swore she was going to say it. What would he have
said then? No one had ever said that to him, for all the people who
stared. Those who stared were only thinking of ugliness, though, so
nothing they ever saw could be beautiful. She was the first person
who was beautiful enough to find beauty in him. Ridiculous. It
couldn’t happen now. Not when he’d already gambled away his
life. It couldn’t happen now. Illyria couldn’t do this to him
now. This was Sheole, come to steal his conviction away. Illyria
wanted him to go through with this. This was just Sheole standing in
the way. But how could she ever be a dog of Sheole? Nothing evil
had a face so pure. It was impossible.
“I
thought Ogres hated Illyria though.” She puzzled. “I thought
all you did was fight.”
“Father
is special.” Publius smiled proudly. How many sons could claim
Marcellus for their father? “When he was young, he was such a
hero. And mother loved him, just like that. Just seeing him, even
though she knew he was the enemy. They loved each other, just like
that. I always wished it were that easy. That I could be a hero
like father and find a wife like mother, just like that, just by
appearing.”
“You’re
a marshal! How can you be less of a hero than your father?” She
seemed to want to champion his cause.
“Because
my father is the greatest man in all of Illyria.” Publius couldn’t
help but smile. “And all my greatness only makes him the greater.”
“Now
you’re teasing me.” She complained. “You haven’t even told
me your name.”
“It’s
Publius. Publius Sunhand. My father is Marcellus Sunhand.”
She
pulled her hand out from his, taking a step back. “You.” She
stammered. “I can’t believe I. . .I’m so sorry. . .please, I
didn’t know. . .just. . .you have to believe me.”
Publius
gently reclaimed her hand, their fingers interlocking. “He got the
name Sunhand from his father. His father fought the ogres too. One
night the ogres were attacking from the marshes, and he was standing
sentry. But they had killed the other sentries and were about to
kill him. So he took a torch and threw it into the grain bin, and
the explosion woke the whole camp. He only had time for that one
moment before the ogres had shot him down. Just that one split
second of thought to save the entire Legion, and he did the one and
only exactly right thing to do it. So the Senate gave his family the
honor of Sunhand, for that night. And that honor has only grown.”
Publius’ eyes were shining with pride.
“Why
are you telling me this? You. . .you’re the. . .they say you
killed forty thousand men in an hour. They say you defeated thirty
thousand with just five hundred men. That they surrendered to you!
You’re a devil! You’re not human. You’re the monster that
devours nations! No wonder you’re buying poison! Are you here to
kill us all too? Why won’t you just stop killing? What have we
ever done to you?”
“It’s
not like that! Father has only defended us! He’s saved our
Republic twice when rightfully we were doomed! He’s the greatest
man I’ve ever known!” Publius held her hand fiercely, not
willing to let her go. Not like this. It couldn’t end like this.
“All
we ever wanted was to live in peace!” She was furious, now. “Does
Illyria suddenly hate Datia, who gave us the very air we breathe?
Whose rivers feed all the life Illyria grew? How can you betray us
so?”
“It’s
not me!” He protested. “I don’t want to hurt anyone!”
“Oh,
that’s right. Just to kill them with poisoned wine!” She
retorted. Then they froze. In the middle of the city, with a
hundred people within easy hearing, she had just shouted. They both
stared at the people around them, who all seemed to be running to
some other place than there.
“Are
you trying to get me killed?” He hissed, now almost whispering,
though the crowd had almost vanished.
“Why
shouldn’t I? Isn’t that what you’re trying to do to me?”
She jerked at her hand angrily.
“No
it’s not what
I’m trying.” He held on to her just as angrily. “I’m trying
to kill the damned idiot
who got us into
this war. I’m trying to have him killed and get back to Illyria as
soon as possible. I’m trying to save my homeland from itself and
Datia all at once.
I’m trying to save everyone, if you didn’t just ruin the last
hope of fifty million
people wishing for
peace!”
She
stared at him, her protests weakening, until she stood still again.
“Who are you?”
She asked.
Publius
laughed. “Ask me tomorrow, and I will be dead or Emperor of all
Illyria. Ask me today, and I will tell you an exhausted, scared,
treacherous fool. Ask me tonight. . .” And he looked at her, blue
eyes meeting cinnamon brown.
“Tonight?”
She asked.
“Someone
who loves you.” Then he swallowed. For some reason his throat was
too tight to breathe. And his body wouldn’t stop trembling. And
he knew he was the greatest idiot to ever grace the world. She
looked at him astonished. As if that were the last thing she
possibly expected to hear. He just stared, not knowing what else to
do. They were still holding hands though. She hadn’t stopped
holding him, she hadn’t left him yet.
“How
could you say that?” She managed. “How could you tell me that?
Tomorrow you’ll leave me and never see or think of me again. And
you tell me that? Is this what you tell every girl you meet in the
street?”
“This
is the first time I’ve ever said that.” He said. In a dead way.
She hated him. He had just confessed and now she hated him. It was
the stupidest thing he could have possibly done, and he did it. Why
on earth did he say that? Did he just want to say that before he
died? Was he just reaching out now because he was too scared to do
what he knew was right? How could he have said it? It was the most
ridiculous thing he’d ever said. He’d only known her for an
hour. By Illyria, was he just saying this to match his dream? To
find a girl like father? Did he just confess his love just to be
like father?
She
looked at him. “The stupidest thing is I believe you.” She
said, angry with her own trust.
He
let go of her hand quietly. “Forget it. I don’t know why I said
that. I’m sorry. I can find the apothecary from here.”
She
looked up. “Did you mean it?”
He
took a long breath to summon the courage. “By Illyria, yes.”
“You
love me?” She almost laughed at the concept.
“Yes.”
Like admitting his guilt to the executioner.
“You
love me.” She was almost asking again. As if to make sure.
“Yes.”
He refused to apologize again.
She
took back his hand. “Then let’s get our poison.”
Chapter 19.
The
night kept passing, but there was a bubble of frozen time within it,
where two lovers lay under the stars. Mirian traced circles over his
hand idly, but the tiniest touch was enough to send ripples of warmth
through him. How could a girl so small have such power? He never
wanted to leave this moment. The night should just go on and on.
His own hand found its way stroking through her hair. It was all so
quiet and comfortable, that it was like they didn’t even have to
think about it. It just was. This was the right way to be.
Together was the natural state of their existence.
“Why
were you scared?” He asked, just in a wondering sense. After all
this time together he still had no idea who she was. It seemed like
the right time to find out.
“Oh.”
Her hand stopped for a moment. “You see. . .they. . .my owners. .
.they said you were an easy mark. If I didn’t sell something to
you they were going to beat me for being lazy. I hadn’t sold
anything all day. It was just really hot, I guess. I guess they
just weren’t happy today.”
“Your
owners?” Publius asked. He couldn’t believe anyone would ever
want to hurt something so beautiful. He couldn’t believe he had
almost left her behind to those jackals. She might be dead now
because he hadn’t bought a necklace.
“I’m
an orphan. We used to live in Lycia. I was going to be a dancer.
Everyone in the village encouraged me. I was going to make the whole
village proud when I performed in the city. They knew that they’d
created something special in me. So I was going to make them proud.”
Publius
just stroked through her hair.
“But
then the Centaurs came. Lycia just swept away like flotsam in the
greatest of all floods. They killed my parents. They hid me. But
they killed the entire village. They didn’t even steal anything.
They just killed us. I guess they wanted more grazing lands for
their sheep.” She still explained quietly. How could someone so
small be so strong? She was so bright. Such a bright star for such
a dark world.
“You
should know.” She turned her face to him, a look of concern on her
face. For the first time worried. “Datia isn’t that strong.
After we lost our army to the plague in Necia. . .then the Centaurs
came, stronger than ever before. Not like the other barbarians.
They were so strong, and fast. The most deadly archers in the world.
They’ve conquered all of Lycia, and only stopped so that they
could chew on it before they come again. The King’s armies have
all been on the eastern border, fighting them off. With this
invasion. . .there just wasn’t anybody to fight you. We’re
fighting so hard to keep Datia alive. If the Centaurs come, they’ll
just burn and kill Leucadia too. They’ll raze the greatest cities
of the world. The most ancient cities of the world. The glory of a
Goddess. Please, we are a good people! You can’t war with us.
Not when all we’re doing is fighting to protect you!”
“Protect
us?” He blinked.
“The
Centaurs aren’t like Jinni. They don’t just raid and pillage.
They’re conquerors.
Their empires have no limits, because they ride like the wind. They
can actually conquer the whole world. They can stretch their arms
however far they wish. And they’re so bloody. All they know is
blood. If we don’t stop them, if Datia falls, next it will be
Caria fighting at their own doors.”
“Are
you telling me Datia has no army to challenge us with?” How could
he win this war if there was no one to fight? How could he come home
emperor?
“Of
course we have an army!” She looked indignant. “But your backstab. . .yes that’s exactly what it is. . .we just won’t have
the resources to fight both wars. It will mean losing against the
Centaurs, to crush you. Or losing our own homes, if we stay against
the Centaurs.”
“So
they’ll split the army and lose both.” Publius mused, knowing
how the world worked.
“Datia
is going to die.” She said quietly, wrapping her arms around him.
“And you’re going to kill her. And all I can think is I love
you.”
Publius
held her to him with infinite care. She wasn’t even crying. Just
holding him. She was so amazing. “After they destroyed my
village, I left for the city. But I had no ties, and I was hungry.
I’d been running from the Centaurs the entire time. So these
people took me in, because I was pretty. They fed me, and let me
sleep. And when I woke up I was a slave.” She murmured against
him. “It could have been much worse. They just wanted to use my
face to attract customers. It could have been worse. Others would
not have stopped at my face. I’m lucky, truly. I survived, when
everyone else died. And then I found a nice job, with nice owners.
And then I found you. It isn’t so bad, not bad at all.”
“How
did you live, alone for all that time? I couldn’t imagine being so
alone.” He asked.
“Can’t
you? When I first saw you, you looked so lonely. So lost.”
“I
have a family. A name. People respect me.” They looked into each
other’s eyes. “Alright so I was lonely. I just didn’t know
until now.” He smiled. “And now I’m not.”
“But
tomorrow we will be. Tomorrow we’ll just be lonelier. Because now
we know what it means to be together.”
“I
can’t. . .I can’t forsake my duty. Please don’t ask me to.”
“I
know you can’t. You have to save us all. Not just Illyria. You
have to save Datia too. I can’t steal that from you. Not and love
you.”
“I
thought Datia would crush us. But now, I think we can win this war.
One short battle and we can decide it, and go home triumphant with
our spoils.”
“But
Datia will die!” She protested.
“No
it won’t, love.” Publius pledged. “This night, these people,
this city. This is Datia. These perfumes and spices and silks, and
ornaments and dancers and artwork and buildings so tall. Datia can’t
die just because different soldiers guard its walls. It won’t even
lose its name. And then Illyria will defend it from the Centaurs
with all its heart. Then we will fight them together. Like the
Goddesses would have willed us from the beginning.”
“They
won’t protect us. They’ll abandon us for their own homes.”
“No
they won’t. Because I will be emperor. And this is
my home.” Then
he kissed her, and it was so sweet. Not that he could compare. But
sweet enough for him. Sweet enough to never need another drink from
any other well for the rest of time. As sweet as that.
She
smiled. “I was just thinking. That I just saved the world,
seducing you.”
“I
was hoping you could seduce me more.” He smiled.
She
pulled his head in for another kiss. “Me too.”
Publius
could feel the presence of the vial in his saddlebag as he mounted
up. It seemed that everyone must know that it was there, though
obviously they didn’t. Somehow Mirian had shouted out his
intention in the midst of a hundred people and not one of them had
reported him. Illyria’s blessing, or dumb luck. But as he made
his way through the pre-dawn camp, tired in a new way that was so
joyous he could never have slept, he wondered if the poison was even
a good idea any longer.
After
all, this war wasn’t a lost cause after all. He had always thought
that only Illyria was rife with problems, beset by corruption and
enemies, and that all other nations had the good sense to keep their
houses in order. That Datia was in as dire straits as Illyria made
Publius wonder if any nation, or any people, or any person at all had
his house in order. Or maybe everyone was about to collapse, inward
and outward, and they just never let it show, to keep the vultures
away. Even the vultures had to pretend they were strong, to not be
eaten by the other vultures. The whole world circling vultures and
frightened sheep, and all of them pretending to be strong.
But
if this war could be won, Publius reminded himself, then that meant
he could win it. In which case there wouldn’t be some intricate
arrangement where Publius took control and retreated whilst retaining
his good name for the masses. This was much more direct. All he had
to do now was win the war, and make sure Crassus didn’t survive it.
The poison might still be necessary. But better if he were killed
in battle. Better if it could not be traced to anything but fate.
He couldn’t fight a real war, though. Not if the Centaurs were
truly this fierce. He needed to defeat Datia with the assurance of a
surgeon’s cut. To defeat it and as soon as possible recruit it to
the greater war that loomed ahead. With such a threat as a barbarian
horde, at least all the provinces out of fear alone would come
together under the Emperor’s banner. The Sunhand. The banner of
the entire Empire. The thought of it sent a thrill of anticipation.
“Why
are you smiling?” Falco asked, reining his horse in beside his
marshal.
Publius
looked at his friend carefully, trying to read the other’s look.
“It’s a good day to be alive. Every day is a good day to be
smiling.”
“Ha!”
He laughed. “Tell that to your father! I don’t know how the
Legions will manage without his gloomy stormcloud face leading us
into the fray.”
“That
reminds me. I was in the city yesterday, and I came upon some vital
information regarding Datia’s state of readiness.”
“Oh
I’m sure he’s already heard about it from a thousand others.
Crassus is either blessed, lucky, or a sheer genius. Striking out of
the blue the one time this would work with so few men as he has.”
“You
know too?” Publius was surprised. But then if he learned it from
a common slave, then of course others would have learned it from a
thousand others. It made him feel slightly less important than
before, to not have been central to the functioning of the universe.
“I
should think you didn’t have time to be gathering information last
night.” Falco smiled, revealing perfect teeth.
Publius
glared at him. “Can I take two steps without someone telling you
about it?”
“No
one had to tell me.” Falco laughed. “There’s only one way a
man smiles like that, sitting on a horse, in the desert cold, blind
to the world.”
“I
love her.” Publius stated proudly. “And she loves me.”
Falco
shot him a dirty look. “Are you planning on dying soon?”
“No!”
Publius jumped. “Why?”
“Because
I remember a Publius a few days ago saying he’d sooner die than
marry a widow and father an orphan.”
Publius
relaxed a bit. “I can’t explain it. When I said it, that’s
exactly how I felt. It was totally true. But now that I’ve met
her. . .it’s like. . .nothing I ever said or believed applies. The
only thing that matters is her. Like. . .that person just didn’t
know. . .how could I have known. . .that someone like her was in this
world?”
“And
yet here you are.” Falco noted. “Off to kill her brothers and
fathers who are off to kill you.”
“She’s
an orphan. The sole survivor of her entire village.” Publius
quickly explained. He had to admit that he just loved talking about
her. It made him feel like she was really there.
“Well
isn’t that a nice way to avoid conflicting loyalties.” Falco
jibed. “I guess I don’t have to watch my back, then?”
“Falco!”
Publius reprimanded. “There is love and there is honor. I know
which I serve.”
“Good
then.” Falco nodded. “Just don’t lose your head in the
charge. She’s in another world now, not this one. For now, she
doesn’t exist. Just a dream. When you return, then the wars are
just a dream, and she’s your reality. But you can’t mix the two.
You just can’t, not and live.”
“My
thanks.” Publius nodded to his counsel. Did he plan on dying
soon? A wash of fear that his love wasn’t true ran through him.
Maybe all of this was just wishing to live before he died. Maybe
she’d only pretended to love him because she was a slave and he a
marshal and she saw her chance to live in luxury. Maybe this whole
thing was a farce, two people just using the other.
Impossible.
He banished the thought. Nothing
but love could have created such a night as ours. When she kissed
me, I knew her love. When she held me, I knew her love. When she
touched me, I knew her love. I knew it as I knew my own heart and my
own breath. I knew it as I knew myself alive. She loves me. And I
love her. That is something we will always know. Deeper than our
own souls.
“You’re
smiling again.” Falco observed amusedly.
“I
can’t help it!” Publius confessed. “I don’t even notice
when I am!”
“It’s
alright.” Falco forgave. “I’ve never seen you so happy. I’m
glad I had the chance.” Then he left to round up his century, as
Publius left to join the command tent of the Consul. Crassus was in
the center, miles away from here. Even if Publius did use the
poison, it would take some doing to arrange even a chance at it. The
plan seemed worse and worse as the minutes passed.
Publius
dismounted, careful not to strain his shoulder. Thoughts of her
tender care flashed through his mind before he reached the Command
tent. He was afraid he might be glowing for all the world to see.
If every injury meant being cooed over when he came back. . .
“Sunhand!”
Muscianus barked. “About time you got here. And what’s that
smile for?”
Publius
tried—hard—not to blush. “Sir, the Datians are much weaker
than we thought. If we overtake them soon, before they can gain
reinforcements from the eastern front, we can claim the entire field
in a single battle!”
“Well
it’s good to see you so enthusiastic about our chances.”
Muscianus said dryly. The rest of the marshals laughed. He was a
good Consul. He’d proven his worth ten times over at Gypsum pass.
It was good to see good men doing good things. It gave him hope.
That there were enough people like him out there to save all the
rest. Unless Muscianus was also here to reach the throne. Publius
reminded himself that in this none could be trusted. Even the best
men would be his enemy more often than not, for hatred of tyranny
alone.
“Crassus
doesn’t want the cavalry separating from the infantry. It makes
sense, in a way.” Muscianus admitted, returning to the argument
with his other marshals. “Without the cavalry the infantry are
deaf and blind and sitting ducks to enemy
cavalry. We’re
not in some gorge or valley anymore. This is the open plain.
Leucadia is the land of chariots. Infantry would be devoured whole
without us guarding their flanks.”
“Yes
but there aren’t
any enemy cavalry.”
Brutus insisted. “Sunhand is right. If we act now we can
overtake them. If we wait for the infantry they’ll have us exactly
where they want us.”
“It’s
too risky.” Muscianus disagreed. “The infantry left helpless as
babes, and the cavalry fighting the whole of the war. If we should
lose the battle it would mean losing the whole war.”
“Wars
aren’t won by not losing them.” Publius commented.
“Your
father said that.” Muscianus bit his lip. “And I disagreed with
him then, too. However, this time we do it my way, because this
time I’m the Consul. Understood?”
“Understood.”
The marshals said in chorus.
“Fan
out on the flanks, scouts and rear guard for partisan resistance.
Take what you need, nothing more. Treat the people well. Like our
own citizens, because soon they will be. Like brothers. I want no
horror stories, do you understand? No talk of Illyrian demons run
amok. We’ll proceed at a steady pace until the King turns about
and faces us. As simple as that.”
“Yes
sir!” The marshals saluted, fist to chest. They broke up to their
detachments, some mingling to talk on their own, others hoping to get
breakfast before the march began. Publius left as well, walking
quickly. He should have gotten a sword of Datian steel. He was in
the middle of a giant city, and it hadn’t occurred to him to get a
better sword. Unforgivable. A sword of star metal. And he’d
entirely forgotten it.
“Publius!”
Brutus hailed, catching up to him with a quick jog. “A word?”
“Of
course.” Publius stopped, a friendly smile. He was ready to smile
all day.
“There’s
something about this plan, that seems odd.” Brutus remarked.
“Reining in the cavalry when the whole point of cavalry is our
mobility, our speed, our chance to take advantage of this very
situation.”
“Of
course it’s stupid. But so is attacking Datia at all.” Publius
agreed.
“Yes,
well, if we’re going to fight, at least we could do it right.
These people aren’t idiots. We all know that we should be riding
like the blazes while our advantage remains.”
“What
are you saying?” Publius asked slowly.
“The
only reason why we’re keeping in toe with the Legions is because
Crassus wants the glory for himself. He wants to win this war, he
doesn’t want this war won.”
“Consuls
can be like that.” Publius admitted.
“The
only reason why you start a war just to win it is to gain the fame
and glory and spoils of that victory. The only reason you seek fame
and glory is to become emperor.”
“Crassus
means to overthrow the republic?” Publius asked, eyes wide.
“You
must see it. The only question is are you going to stop it?”
Brutus gave him a piercing look.
“But
how?” Publius asked. “He’s the Consul. It is our duty to
obey.”
“There
are the laws of men and the laws of Gods. Which do you follow,
Publius?”
“Illyria,
first and always.” Publius affirmed.
“When
the time comes, then. You will be there.”
Publius
gave an odd smile. “I will be there when the time comes. Of that
I’m sure.”
“I
knew I could trust you.” They clasped wrists, and Brutus went his
way. Publius watched the man go with a sort of irony. Someday a
great man would be his enemy. Did that make him a bad man? Or
Brutus just a fool? The question could only be decided by history.
Publius let his doubts flee as he returned to his thousand. When the
time came, he would be emperor, and he would know of Brutus and all
the others before they even rose a hand.
Making
his way back to his horse, he found the centuries assembled and the
camp struck in good order, the personal Sunhand banner close at hand.
Illyria would find a way. By poison, dagger, battle or war.
Crassus would not survive this campaign. Illyria knew her champion.
“What
will it be, sir?” The attendant asked. The trumpeter stood ready.
“We
ride!” Publius announced. “And be sure to kiss every daisy on
the way!” The men broke into laughter as the trumpet sounded the
call. It was going to be a nice day, a nice ride, in a nice land,
and a nice sleep, without worry or care. It was every soldier’s
dream. Publius just wished she were here. A soft smile crept across
his face, but he was too busy remembering to care.
They
rode like that for weeks. Until, as Muscianus had predicted, the
King finally turned to offer battle. The Illyrians were happy to
give it.
Chapter 20.
“Jania!
Jania!” Jacob shouted in glee. “Come see this!” Jacob
didn’t wait for a response, running to the living room to fetch her
bodily. Ever since her second pregnancy, and her resulting illness,
he had not left her side. And because of it, he’d gotten to
witness his son growing up before his eyes. He would have traded all
his days on the sea for that. It was the greatest bargain he’d
ever struck.
He burst into the chamber like
a breath of fresh air in a stuffy dark cave. It wasn’t that it was
stuffy or dark, not in the least. The room was plush and full to the
brim with sunlight, birds singing merrily outside. The people,
however, were too glum and serious to take note of it, turning their
dark and disapproving looks to anyone who dared be happy. It was
like this anywhere, merriment and cheer stomped out throughout the
city. Being happy was a sort of shameful loss of dignity. Something
only children could be forgiven, and then only grudgingly. Anyone
who could manage to be happy obviously just didn’t realize the
peril of the State or the gravity of the situation, to be quickly and
acidly informed.
“Jacob.”
Jania smiled brilliantly. Her face was competing with her hair for
paleness, her body as frail as a bird’s. But she still had that
brilliant smile and those perfect blue eyes. She was always
beautiful. “These are the doctors I sent for. They’ve been
learning ever-so-much.”
Jacob
gave a curt nod to them, hardly even seeing the scowls they had for
being disrupted. One stood up and shook out his coat. “For a
loving husband, it hardly does well for you to be so loud and unruly
in such times as these. Noise and tumult will only aggravate the
situation.”
“Oh?
Then you have found a cure? Or at least the nature of her
affliction?” Jacob looked at him for the first time respectfully.
“Well.”
The doctor puffed out his mustache. “There is an explanation that
fits the situation. But I’m not sure if you should know it.”
“What
did we hire you for if you’re not going to tell us the problem?”
Jacob tried to hide his frustration. After all, these people were
working to save her life. They were on the same side. It was stupid
to be angry with them.
“Well.
. .” The doctor trailed off, looking for support. The other two
stood up to either side. “Her sickness has always come on with
pregnancy, it seems.”
“Yes
we knew that.” Jacob prompted. Surely they hadn’t been paid to
tell them that.
“And
we all know that with pregnancy is the mixing of your two halves.
Apparently, the illness comes from intemperate humors clashing
between her body and the child born of you. She coming from such a
far northern land, and you from so far south, the humors are just too
different for her body to accept them. Your southern nature is like
poison to her far northern body, and it’s this poison that is
eating away at her from the inside.”
Jacob
stood very still. He dared not move, he dared not blink, for fear of
killing them. “Get out.”
“What
was that?” The doctors gave him an odd look, a condescending look.
“Get
out. Right now.”
“But
we’ve not found a way to help her yet!” They protested. “If
you love her—“
“Right
now.” Jacob’s whole body was trembling with rage, but his voice
somehow stayed absolutely rigid. The doctors seemed to actually see
him for the first time, a livid and angry beast about to set upon
them. They dropped their air of pretense and quickly shuffled around
him, almost hugging the walls so as to not come close. The moment
they were gone, Jacob remembered to breathe. His whole body was
wrung out, like he had just run five miles. Standing still had been
the hardest thing he had ever done.
“Darling.”
Jania smiled. “Did you have to be so very scary? You should have
seen the look on their faces.” She laughed. Jacob smiled back,
all the anger fading away almost instantly. She was just so perfect.
“I’ve
never heard of such a stupid, vile, hateful thing to say.” Jacob
managed. “I can’t believe they thought we would pay them to tell
me I was. . .was. . .poison.”
He spat the word.
“I
suppose it wouldn’t do well to ask them back.” Jania said.
Jacob glared at her only to see her teasing eyes. Then he laughed
along with her. “No. I think not.”
“But
what were you shouting about?” Jania asked. “You didn’t come
here just to frighten my poor little physicians?”
“It’s
Joshua.” Jacob’s eyes sparkled.
“What
is it?” Jania’s voice instantly became concerned. She had
thought he was improving, that she didn’t have to watch over him
every second. How could she have left him alone?
“He’s
crawling.” Jacob left out in a rush. “He’s wandering all over
the room!”
“Crawling?”
Jania gasped in delight. “My Joshua?”
“He’s
not tired a bit!” Jacob laughed. “He’s already such an
explorer! He’s going to grow up to be a great sailor! I can
already see it!”
Jania
smiled at him with amusement. He was just too happy to be more than
ten. “Then pick me up, silly. Or am I too heavy for you now?”
Jacob
took her hand and pulled her onto her feet. Seven months pregnant,
and it barely showed, she was so very thin. But it was enough to
keep her bedridden without his help. It was as though she had given
all her strength to Joshua and had none left for herself. As though
she had traded her life for his. Jacob angrily banished the thought.
She would not die. She would not
die.
They
carefully went back to the bedroom Joshua had made his domain, the
nurses looking on with an equally joyous grin. So many people had
worked so hard for this day. There was a quiet awe in the room for
all those there. They had actually conquered death. Love had
actually triumphed. Seeing this baby crawl was one of the closest
moments the family ever had with Illyria. Because she had actually
answered their prayers.
Joshua
wandered across the heavily carpeted floor, making small noises of
delight in his ability. He would sometimes go backwards or sideways,
just to see if he could, and gurgled happily when he did. He would
take objects in his hand and quickly stick them in his mouth, though
they were all far too large for it. It was like the whole world had
opened up before him. As though he could be anywhere or do anything,
now that he could crawl. It was like being born all over again.
Jania
didn’t try to wipe away her tears. She liked the feel of them
running down her cheek, filling her eyes, burning in her throat. “My
little Joshua. Look, Jacob! My little Joshua.”
“I
see him.” Jacob wore that stupid grin of sheer bliss.
“I
did something right.” She whispered through her tears. “I did
it right, didn’t I?”
“You
did it right.” Jacob affirmed, truly amazed. He had thought the
baby dead from the day it was born. “You did everything right.”
Muscianus
slapped down his spyglass with a curse. “There can’t be that
many! This damn thing is broken! There aren’t that many Datians
in Datia!”
The
marshals sat atop their horses, ill at ease, watching the whole sky
fill up with dust from the enemy’s approach. The horses were
restless, feeling the atmosphere, nipping at each other and jostling
their riders. Publius put his own spyglass down quietly, a sense of
perfect calm that only follows utter despair. “There must be ten
times as many men. By Illyria, they must have allied
with the Centaurs
to field such an army. We must be facing them both.”
“Impossible.”
Muscianus whispered, mouthing a prayer to the Goddess. “It must
be some trick.”
“Eyes
don’t lie.” Brutus gave the common phrase.
“Maybe
they do!” Publius said with sudden excitement. “Maybe that’s
no army at all!”
The
other marshals gave him a queer look. Of course, he had been gushing
over with happiness the whole march, but they had thought that would
end with the onset of reality.
“Look,
we all know this is impossible! You can’t summon three hundred
thousand men out of thin air, I don’t care if you’re the King of
Kings!”
“But
there they are.” Muscianus pointed at the cloud of dust seeking to
obscure the sun.
“Yes
but who?”
Publius insisted. “I bet you could summon three hundred thousand
craftsmen, farmers, innkeepers, bakers, and cobblers. It’s just a
giant bluff! The whole army is a mirage!”
“Clever
bastards.” Muscianus admitted. “They didn’t divide their army
after all. It’s the same army they faced us with from the
beginning. They just spent weeks gathering a giant ruse. Almost
makes me want to lose just out of respect for them.” The marshals
laughed at that, back in control again. Suddenly it was their
decision again whether to win or lose, the dust cloud just a good
joke.
“Alright
Publius, if this is true, you wouldn’t mind proving it?”
Muscianus asked. “I’m not about to commit ten thousand horse on
a conjecture, and Crassus isn’t about to commit the whole of us on
it either.”
“Sir.”
Publius saluted, fist to chest, realizing the opportunity Muscianus
had given him. “Give me my thousand, and I will win the entire
field. A thousand men can defeat a million slaves.”
“And
let you hog all the glory?” Muscianus gave him a toothy smile.
“Not if I want to stay Consul.” The others laughed. “Alright
Publius, how about this? If I see the Sunhand flying thirty minutes
from now, the Fifth Eagle follows.”
“Illyria
be with me, then, that I win the field in ten!” Publius announced,
saluting again. His whole body was animated with excitement. He had
to win this battle. All on his own. He had to make this charge and
make it work and break the whole army. If he won this fight, one
thousand horse against three hundred thousand. . .his name would
resound with glory forever. After this fight he could go home to
Illyria in Triumph. He could go home as Emperor. Illyria was doing
it again. Having everything go his way. She was almost giving him
the crown.
He
galloped his horse to his detachment, the men murmuring uneasily at
the dust cloud. It felt like the whole earth was shaking from their
march. Just his imagination. There couldn’t be that
many men. Publius
hoped not. No time to be worried. He was a marshal. Marshals were
never worried.
“Men!
I call you men today!” His horse turned about and he expertly
turned with it. “Because you are free men! Free! It’s a word
these Datians have never heard! You’re all here of your own will,
citizens of a Republic! The people rule, the Law rules, sitting in
the Square for all the people to see! And not the greatest man in
all the Republic can change them! So is it any wonder, that there
are so few of us, and so many of them? For how many free men are
brave enough to be here today? It is Datia’s pride, to be a nation
of slaves, all of them subject to the Tyrant’s whim. Is it any
wonder that they come before us with a swarm of slaves? None of them
wish to be here, none of them here of their own will, none of them
fighting for anything but their own survival. A people of slaves, a
land of slaves, and the only reason they’re here is so that they
can go back home! And they will
go home! The
moment the merest chance of danger approaches, they’ll run! What
pride does a slave own? What use does he have for staying? No! He
will run! They will all run! All we need do is charge!” He took
a deep breath.
“Today
it is ours to show that free men are the only
Men!” Publius
shouted with all the force of his lungs. “Will you ride with me?”
The
men shouted at the top of their lungs their willingness. They
screamed their throats hoarse with the pride they held for
themselves, the honor Publius had given them. They would ride.
Publius
drew his sword of stubborn Lucian steel, holding it aloft to glint
with the noonday sun. He sat poised perfectly atop his pure white
horse, blond hair framing a perfect face, a tongue of golden fire in
his hand. He sat atop his horse as some visiting God. And then the
trumpet sounded the charge, and the thousand followed galloping on
their marshal’s heels.
Publius
didn’t look back, knowing that they were following without needing
to look. It was insane, utterly insane, to lead the charge. He
would be the very first man to reach an army that outnumbered them
three hundred to one. He was insane, it was insane, there was no way
he could actually survive this charge. Except he could feel the
Goddess around him with every jolting step of his horse. He could
almost feel her breath on his neck, urging him on. He charged,
knowing he would die, and yet knowing beyond knowing that he was
invincible, that at this moment nothing upon the earth could touch
him, that though he charged the whole army alone the only sure thing
was that he’d live. He charged, not in the least caring that the
Sunhand followed so close behind that it would almost instantly fall,
not in the least caring that he didn’t even know where the true
enemy army stood. He just rode for the center, hoping the King had
chosen the safest spot for his most elite guard. Hoping the King had
not thought to give battle at all, had not thought that anyone would
be charging him today. He trusted in his insanity to be his greatest
protection, for no one could plan against the insane.
Then
he saw the waving green banners and the ceremonial armor. Then he
saw the golden chariot holding the King. All he had to do was reach
the King. Just like a chess game. Just take the King and the whole
battle was won. All he need do was carve his way to the King. The
thoughts came so quickly as he directed his mount. He wasn’t even
looking at the men in his way. His gaze was fixed stubbornly on the
King alone, willing his horse to ride through everything inbetween.
He could almost see the look of terror on the King’s face before he
slammed into the first rank guarding him. He was moving too fast for
anyone to actually stop him. The line just bulged
to let him through, until he had sunk so deep that there were only
green banners to his every side. For a second, two, ten Publius cut
and slashed forward, still moving forward through the entire army
alone. The Datians were too startled to even stop him at first. He
was just too insane to be charging alone through an entire army.
Only when they saw where he was going did they raise up their first
cry of alarm. It wasn’t a madman, but an assassin. Then the
spears and swords began to rain upon him with doubled and redoubled
fury. Publius didn’t even try to move now, just holding his shield
and sword to protect himself as best he could. Blows struck against
and across his armor from every side, the mail too well crafted to
pierce and too complete to avoid. The blows struck so hard that they
would have knocked him from his horse, had not still other blows been
striking from his other side. He was being crushed by his own armor,
his shoulder screaming out in agony from the pressure. His horse
screamed a chillingly human shriek, blood pouring out from its sides
as a river. It would have fallen had there not been too many men for
it to go. Publius was a dead man propped atop a dead horse. He
wondered if he would go to heaven for trying.
But
a second passed. And then another. He still wasn’t dead. He
could feel blood running from his legs, but that seemed almost
surreal. It didn’t even hurt. His head still rung from his
helmet, the helm gashing over his eye. It was bleeding down his face
as all scalp wounds did, with that seemingly endless stream. But
that was almost laughable. His ribs were probably broken from the
pressure or at least bruised. His breath was a tearing fire of pain.
It was almost funny. He just kept waiting for the real blow to
arrive. Then he looked to either side, and the banners weren’t
green. They were white with a hand holding a golden light. He was
surrounded by his own men, who desperately were dying on every side
so that he might live. He stared to see the wedge of his riders
pressing in, saving him, staking all their lives if it meant the
faintest chance of saving him. Then he looked ahead to see the King,
who was staring with wide eyes straight back at him. He was only
thirty yards away. His chariot was turning, he was going to escape.
Publius thought for the maddest moment that he could throw his sword
and claim the King. No sword was killing from thirty yards. He
kicked his horse, expecting it to move, then realized it was cold
against his burning bleeding thighs. Damned horse. It could have
lived another minute. That’s all he would have asked. Publius
waved his sword and shouted, pointing at the King. The men saw and
heard through the din, pushing with all their might. But the Datians
were the best of the best, the King’s elite guard. They would not
budge. He was going to get away.
Then
he heard another trumpet, then a hundred more, and a cheer so loud as
to split the sky. The Fifth Eagle slamming into the foe, brushing
them aside and breaking them as though mere flies. Impossible. They
had not been fighting for thirty minutes. He swore no more than a
minute had passed. He tried to dismount, but a wave of dizziness and
nausea went through his head. He struggled to tear his helmet off,
to get a breath of air. That helped a little, though now the blood
was running quicker. In his haste he had cut it more. He tried to
step again, but a wave of fire went through his chest. He must have
turned too far. All he wanted was off his horse. His stupid dead
horse that wouldn’t fall. Couldn’t Illyria let him off his
horse? He tried to slide down again, overbalancing, and this time
such pain struck him that he fainted before he even reached the
ground. The last thing he saw was the King running away.
Chapter 21.
Publius
awoke to the most horribly bitter tasting concoction that had ever
entered his mouth. If he hadn’t been unconscious, it never would
have. Already he was trying to spit it out, but to no avail. The
creeping oozy liquid slipped down his throat to torment the rest of
his body, as more steadily came in from behind. Publius flailed his
arms out to kill the man giving him drink before the drink could kill
him.
“Easy
there.” A firm hand grabbed both his arms and pushed them back to
the bed. It was amazing how weak he was. He could resist those
hands as easily as move a boulder. “Somehow you didn’t break
your arms, but you don’t need to try now.”
Publius
coughed. It was no use. He had already swallowed. He had to
swallow or it would have choked him. “What was that?”
“It
woke you up, didn’t it?” Brutus said, utterly pleased with
himself. “Everyone is asking about you. The whole army is waiting
for someone to tell them you’re alright.”
“Am
I?” Publius didn’t feel very right.
“All
ten fingers and toes. A new set of scars for the ladies. Every
man’s dream.”
“Tell
me what happened.” Publius demanded, cutting to the only important
thing.
“Your
detachment is basically gone. You’re a marshal of ghosts.”
“How
many left?”
“Perhaps
a hundred that can lift a sword. Two hundred lying in cots nearby.”
“That’s
not so bad.” Publius sighed, closing his eyes. He wondered if
Falco lived. He didn’t want to ask. It would be a sign of
weakness, that he cared for anyone. “Did we get the King?”
Brutus
paused for a moment. “No.”
“You
have to be kidding me. He was only thirty yards away. They were
breaking. You had to have gotten the King.”
“Yes
well we didn’t.” Brutus sighed. “The Datians were too tough,
the knot you hit. You hit the core of the entire kingdom, the best
of the best. It’s a wonder three hundred of your men survived.”
“Yes
but I saw them
breaking!” Publius tried to rise his voice, but just ended up
coughing. “It damned well worked!”
“Yes
it worked, the army scattered back to the towns they came from, like
mist on the wind. The king’s guard fought and died as best they
could and we killed them as fast as we could, and the King fleeing on
his chariot with our riders close behind. The whole thing worked,
Publius, like a damned miracle it worked.”
“Then
why didn’t you get the King!”
“Because
the King came with his baggage, his pomp and his servants and his
tents of silk and harem of almost nude women. And when the King
fled, he left it all behind, and when our men reached it, they
stopped. They
got off their horses
to take as much as
they could before the others came to loot their own.”
Publius
laughed in despair. “For gold. There flees the King—our peace,
our homeland, our children, our wives, our honor, and our triumph, so
that we could keep his gold.”
“He’ll
flee to the Centaurs, now.” Brutus sighed. “He’ll let the
Centaurs reconquer Datia in order to remain its King. He’d sign a
pact with Mahara if he could only find Him.”
Publius
closed his eyes. “What does it matter? We already signed one with
Sheole.”
“Well
at least you fainted before you had to see it.” Brutus cursed
again. “I never thought I’d see such a thing. Not in my wildest
dreams. I never thought I’d call my own brethren dogs.”
“Who
are we fooling?” Publius just wanted to fall back unconscious. No
triumph. No return with glory. No peace. The war would just keep
going. And he would somehow have to win that too. Illyria had given
him the crown, and Sheole had stolen it away. The demons always did.
They were always there to destroy everything, twist everyone, foil
all the makings and all the makers of the earth. He had been a fool
to think this one time it would be different. The demons always won.
And that he thought that was another victory right there. For
Sheole? Or Zakine? Publius was too tired to care. “We’re not
dogs, but jackals. Come only to tear and rend. Dogs could excuse
this war as a necessary evil. But we lost that right. The only
reason we were ever here was for the evil itself.”
“Not
you, my friend.” Brutus gripped his hand tightly. “You aren’t
dog or jackal, and the whole Legion knows it. You alone remain a
hero.”
“Father
was a hero, Brutus.” Publius refuted. “No one here deserves
that name. Least of all me.”
“That’s
your sickness talking. You’ve been lying there for a week. Once
they’ve fed you and you’ve gotten outside, and see the light in
everyone’s eyes. . .once you hear the tone people will have when
they address you. . .you’ll know yourself a hero. With an exploit
as grand as any of your father’s or all of them combined.”
“Brutus,
stop.” Publius trembled. “If you truly knew me, you’d have
killed me as the darkest bloodiest heart of all. The very word hero
makes me cringe. From your lips, it burns like molten steel.”
“What
is it, then?” Brutus seemed angry. “Because you didn’t
capture the King yourself? Because you didn’t break the army until
Muscianus came? Because you praised the Republic in front of all
your men at the very time everyone else seeks its end? Where is your
evil, Publius! Name your evil!”
“I.
. .” Publius opened his mouth, closed it. He couldn’t tell
Brutus. What could he say? He shouldn’t have said anything at
all. He just refused to have this man’s friendship when he was
going to betray him. He refused to betray his own friends.
“I
don’t care who you
touched when you were twelve or what
you did that one
night that one time. I don’t care who
you envied or who
you despised or who
you wanted to kill.
Publius, if your thoughts were evil, then the whole of humanity is
damned! The only thoughts I can judge you by are the thoughts so
strong that you acted upon them. The rest are just thoughts.
Phantoms, Publius! Mirages of the mind! They aren’t
real. They aren’t
you. The only
Publius that has truly
existed is the one
I see before me today. And that
man is a hero.
Deny it one more time and you call me a liar! Name me a liar and I
will be forced to bury
you.”
“I’m
a hero! I’m a hero!” Publius surrendered in mock-terror.
“Alright
then. It’s night, and I feel like sleeping.” Brutus stood up.
“Besides, I want to be the first person to tell the army you’re
going to be okay.”
“Tell
them to get me some water, will you? That stuff tasted horrible.”
“Will
do.” Brutus gave a little bow, and went out of the tent. Publius
stared at the top of his tent with a small smile. A hero. High
praise. Brutus would never say something if he didn’t mean it. He
would never honor someone unless that person lived up to his own
standard. To be called a hero was like unto being called a brother.
It was that important to Brutus. He cared that much. His smile only
widened when the slaves came in with water and soup. He just might
be able to keep soup down. A week without food was not the best way
to recover. Time to start. If he meant to die somewhere outside
this bed, he’d better start soon. The Centaurs were just around
the horizon.
Outside
he heard a cheer, at first, small, then sweeping through the Legion
like a firestorm. At first it was wordless, but eventually it felt
into a thunder of Sunhand!
Sunhand! Sunhand! Publius
smiled. The same cheers were given Marcellus once. He had done it.
He’d lived up to his father. When he fell back asleep, he hardly
felt his wounds at all.
“Dear
Mirian,
I’m writing to you to
apologize, and to thank you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you
the world, and I’m thankful that you already gave it to me. I’m
sorry that I couldn’t give you life, and I’m thankful that in you
I finally lived. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you, or your
people, or your Goddess, but I’m thankful that you saved me, and
through me my people, and my Goddess. I’m sorry I can’t return
to you, but I’m thankful that someday you’ll return to me. I’m
sorry. . .for everything. I’m sorry. . .I’m just sorry. And I’m
grateful. . .for everything. For life, for love, for warmth, for
joy, for the feel of your back, your breast, your lips, your neck,
your hair, your glance, your smell, your arms. . .for all the
blessings and all the bliss that could possibly lay under the sun.
Know that all my sorrow is only that I could not thank you the more.
Love,
Someone who loves you.”
“Publius?”
An attendant called fretfully. “Are you in there?” Publius
looked up from his paper, wondering if there was anything left out to
say. He could think of a million things, but had no idea how to
write them. A billion trillion things that he needed to say, and no
power on earth to say them. This would just have to do.
“Publius?”
The attendant came up behind him. “Can you stand? We can’t
leave you here.”
Publius
put away his quill with trembling hand, barely able to place it in
the jar. He sprinkled sand over the ink and carefully rolled it up.
“Publius.”
The attendant wrung his hands. “Please—“
Publius
stood, quickly, strongly. His ribs could hurt some other day. His
shoulder could whine about it tomorrow. “Please, on your life,
take this. On your honor, take this to the lady Mirian, a jeweler,
in the city of Damask. For the love of love.”
“Sir.”
The attendant took the rolled up paper as though a fragile dove.
“On my life, sir.” The sound of trumpets broke through the
morning ether, as if in challenge to the distant drums. People were
running everywhere, securing their arms or their mounts, mouthing
their prayers alone or in circles. The Datian King had fled to the
Centaur warlord, trading his realm for his regency. Now the whole of
the Centaur horde came like the wind for their blood. And three
pitiful legions stood against the army that toppled empires. It was
hopeless to think of victory or mercy. The Centaurs always won, and
they never had mercy. Theirs was a world of blood and blood alone.
Legions
died hard, though. They weren’t like other armies, they were the
greatest military juggernauts known to man. Not because of their
numbers, nor their weapons, nor their armor, nor even their spirit,
nor their courage, nor their strength. They were the strongest
because they would
not break. Every
ten men had their squadman, ever century their centurion, every
thousand their marshal, every ten thousand their consul. Everyone
knew exactly where they should be and what they should be doing.
Everyone had a leader near at hand to look to. Everyone could rest
easy knowing the shield of their companion was covering their
unshielded side. Discipline, training, confidence, coolness,
silence. Each legionnaire always a part of the greater whole. The
whole Legion fighting as one. The Legion would not die until every
man in it was killed, all of them fighting and living as the Legion,
and not themselves. The Datian forces were as divided as there were
nobles, a motley morass of men who had never seen nor fought beside
each other before. They were a land of slaves, fighting only because
they must. The Legions were different, and they intended to prove
it. Not to find victory. The Centaurs rode like the wind. There
was no hope of actually breaking or destroying them. But simply to
avoid defeat. So long as the Legions maintained discipline, they
were invincible. All they had to do was escape. Run, for thousands
of miles, back to Caria, harried all the way, with perfect
discipline. It was the only chance they had. Publius had seen
greater miracles. Forty thousand ogres killed in an hour. Three
hundred thousand breaking from the charge of ten. Illyria had
granted greater miracles. Publius only hoped Crassus held her favor
as much as his family. Publius gave a small smile. He believed in
that hope so much he’d already said goodbye. But he had to hope.
So long as he lived, he would hope for life. That’s what living
meant.
“Publius,
can you ride?” Muscianus asked him as he reached the Consul’s
tent.
“Sir.”
Publius saluted sharply, not betraying how much it hurt. Except, if
he could contain the pain, then that was proof enough that he was
well enough. Muscianus would expect
him to cover the
pain as best he could. So in a way, it was no deception at all.
“Alright
then, I’m putting your detachment in reserve. You’re to observe
the battle and report the results to the Senate. That’s three
hundred men to see you across the rest of Datia. Tell them what
happened. Tell them how they fight. It’s worth more to Illyria
than a thousand extra men.”
“Yes
sir.” Publius nodded. It was a great trust and a great task, but
he couldn’t help but feel the bile in his throat. Ordered to run
away. That was a worse order than to charge. Death before dishonor.
And yet that was not his choice. It had been an order. He had been
ordered to accept dishonor before death. Which meant, in disobeying,
he would only be dishonored the more. No way out. Muscianus was
forcing him to live. Publius looked at his Consul, the thoughts
running through his mind, and the Consul nodded, ever so slightly.
No one else could have seen it. And then it all became clear. Not
ordered to live. Ordered to rule. Publius’ fists clenched of
their own will. Not
like this. Not
fleeing in terror. Not through cowardice. I can’t come home like
this. Not for the world.
The
drums were coming closer, faster than the Illyrians were used to.
The orders were cut short as trumpets began to cry. People began
running to their places, banners waving in the wind. Publius
wondered how he would walk to his horse, but thankfully a slave came
running up with a new one. Then Publius remembered his horse had
died. He would’ve walked all that way for nothing. It made him
want to laugh. He was more worried about the pain of walking then
the battle ahead. Maybe because pain was real, and death was just a
concept, a dream. . .death could never be real to the living.
Because the only time they’d understand it, they’d already be
dead. For the living, pain was more worrisome than death. Helped
onto his saddle, Publius gritted his teeth, hard,
and sat straight. Don’t
make me gallop. He
prayed. Let this
horse fly. Just don’t make me gallop. He
walked the horse out of the scurry to the Sunhand banner waving
defiant in the wind. The men there were mostly wounded, calling them
a reserve was more out of dignity than truth. Half of them couldn’t
have lifted a sword had they wished. But they were his men, and he
was their marshal. It was a contest to see which smiled with fiercer
pride to behold the other.
“We’ve
come this far, men.” Publius said. “We can go the rest. We’ll
see this to the end.”
The
men nodded, sitting stiffly on their saddles. They were all veterans
now.
“We’re
to take up the rear. Let’s be at it.” The drums were booming
distressingly loud. How many were
there? They
couldn’t be further than five miles. The men rode quickly, though
only relative to their injuries. Two months had not been enough, and
there had been no new men to replace them. This was the same
detachment that had won a war, only to lose it from the greed of
their companions. Two months had not been long enough for any of
them to want to fight again. Publius spotted the healthiest and most
able men he could, gathering them together a few yards apart. Datia
simply refused to have hills. It was just flat grass and sand
stretching to infinity. Perfect land for nomads. Perfect land for
horsemen. The most terrible land foot could ask for. “You twenty,
you’re ordered to stay right here. Take double rations, triple if
you can. Borrow it from your friends. You’re not fighting today.
You’re going home, to tell them what happened today. If you see
the battle failing, you ride. Don’t look back. You tell them that
the Centaurs are on their way. We have to stop them somewhere. The
sooner you get home, the sooner we stop them, with the whole of
Illyria marching back to save us. The sooner you get home, the less
of Illyria must burn and bleed for dogs. Understood?”
The
men nodded gravely. “Sir, why aren’t you coming, then?”
“Three
hundred men traveling together would never make it. Not in our
condition. The Centaurs would overtake us and run us down, and not a
soul to warn Illyria of their coming. No, it has to be you alone.
Split up, and Illyria will lead one of you home. Twenty healthy
single men are the only chance of someone getting home in time.”
“Yes
sir.” They saluted. “It was my honor, sir.” One of them
added. And then the rest joined in, one following the next. Until
all twenty had pledged their lives to him. Publius just stared at
them quietly. He had lived so long for those words. A rush of
warmth seemed to seep through him, washing away his pain. It was
worth it. It was all worth it. He could die now, knowing he had
done it right. Knowing his life complete. He only hoped Marcus
would understand. He knew Mirian would.
The
Centaurs came into view, a line of horses stretching and stretching
with no end. They could ride leaning over one side, shooting arrows
along the way. They were the best damned archers the world had ever
known. They could hit with every shot upside down, shooting between
their horses’ legs.
They were born on their horses and died on them. They didn’t even
know how to walk, it was said. And half their children were born
from mares and not women. Publius was sure it was all fable. But he
didn’t know how much. A flash of memory rushed through him, Mirian
looking up with that guileless wonder, asking if he were a being out
of fable. By Illyria, he wanted to live. He wanted to live so much
it hurt. His fists clenched tight enough to feel the bite of his
nails. Not like
this. I
can’t live like this. Not running home a coward. I can’t run.
Life like that is no life at all. Better dead living than living
dead. He ran it
through his head like a mantra.
The
left wing stirred, the Fifth Eagle charging forward, leaving the foot
behind. It might work, letting the foot retreat behind the charging
of the horse. Publius watched and prayed for it to work. Maybe the
Centaurs’ arrows couldn’t pierce armor. Certainly not shields.
The bows were too small. Maybe they wouldn’t know how to fight
with lance and sword. Maybe the Fifth Eagle could keep the Centaurs
off the twenty thousand men for the next month to come, and they
could just ride back into camp tonight. A light of hope opened up in
him when he saw the Centaurs pulling back in confusion and disarray.
Before the Eagle had even reached them, after a few pitiful arrow
flights, the Centaurs across from them began to turn and flee.
Until, like a wave of panic, the whole line had disintegrated, the
barbarians all rushing away at the greatest speed they could force
out of their horses.
The
trumpets pealed even to Publius’ ears, a note of glee and triumph
as they pursued. The Fifth Eagle riding hard almost on their heels.
And then Publius saw it all in horror. Armored cavalry could never
hope to catch the nomads, trained riders, with the toughest horses in
the world.
“No,
Muscianus. NO.” Publius breathed. Whispered. “They’re
leading you away. They’re leading you away!” The Centaurs were
breaking, the Fifth Legion following without a care, ready to ride
ten miles to catch their prey. And there stood twenty thousand foot,
totally alone, and the rest of the Centaurs smiling and circling like
sharks.
“By
the Goddess.” The bannerman swore in recognition. The men began
to murmur, seeing it all unfold, helpless to stop it. That many men
had never died at once. But they were utterly helpless. The
Centaurs were keeping out of the range of javelins, circling around,
peppering them with arrows. If they moved at all it would mean
breaking their shield wall, their only protection from the deadly
hail. They were stuck like frozen ducks awaiting the slaughter. And
there wasn’t a single thing anyone could do.
“They
can’t do that forever.” Publius thought out loud. “They’ll
run out of arrows. The shield wall stands. Not many could die from
that, at that range.” The men watched, reassured by his calm. It
was true, for all the Legion’s position, surrounded and frozen
still, the Centaurs couldn’t hurt them. It was almost a standoff.
Until Muscianus returned to his senses and saw he’d been played the
fool. He would return, and all would be well.
But
the horsemen didn’t run out of arrows. The moment men did, they
would just return to their line for more, and new men would take
their place. Soon the riders danced in closer, daring men to strike
back with their darts. Some men were growing tired, hot, scared,
sweaty, from holding their shields and hearing the thunk of force
that was directed for their heads. Some arrows shot over their
heads, arcing gently back down to play havoc with those inside.
Shields were lapped over the heads of those kneeling, the wall
becoming tighter, but that was an even more tiring stance, as the
weight of arrows rained down upon them. There were motions in the
Centaur main line, drums being sounded as men came into position.
Publius saw the lances with dread. They weren’t just archers then.
The arrows were just to soften them. The lancers would come for the
kill. And they would come soon. Before the Fifth could return.
The
bannerman slapped his own thigh with a curse. It snapped something
in Publius. He couldn’t just sit and watch anymore. “Attendant!”
He shouted out in a clear voice. “Sound the charge.”
“Sir?”
The man looked up, the others coming to life with a light in their
eye.
“We’re
breaking them free. For when the Fifth gets back. We’re going to
be heroes one more time.”
“Yes
sir.” And then he smiled, raising the trumpet to his lips. Smiled
as he sounded the note of his own death. The horses began at a fast
walk, Publius again leading the way. No reason to be safe any
longer. Nothing but to do as much as he could. Saving the very man
he had meant to kill. But it was worth it, because it would mean
saving his own soul along with him. Before the lancers could get
their position, the two hundred horses that could gallop launched
themselves upon the skirmishing unsuspecting prey. The Centaurs
scattered in terror, the Sunhand banner keeping his men close in
line, sweeping the archers away, cutting them down before they could
lay hand on sword or spear. Publius cut and slashed with Lucian
steel, spurring his horse first this way then that, disrupting clumps
before they could become any real resistance, shattering the whole
encirclement with surprise alone.
It
was no wonder, then, that the arrows that were shot were firstmost
aimed at him. And it was no fable, that their arrows shot true. He
didn’t even notice the moment he died--falling off his horse,
crumpling to the sand, rolling a few times with momentum, and finally
laying still.
Chapter 22.
“I
have to go.” Marcellus constrained his fury. It wasn’t for
Lydra, never for her. But he was so angry it was a marvel he didn’t
explode, much less let it overflow him and run into her. There was
this terrible pressure between his temples, that wasn’t even an
ache as much as a pressing.
He was radiating heat, his hands hot to the touch, like a fever.
“They killed our son.”
“Please,”
Lydra entreated. “listen to me. Don’t turn away. Don’t run
away. This was war, your son died charging them in broad day.
There’s no murder to avenge!”
“All
war is murder.”
“Then
you know it wrong to retaliate in kind! There’s no justice in
this!”
“There’s
no justice in losing two of our children in the same day. If the
Gods need not be just, then nor need we. If the Gods can find all
the light in the world and snuff it out, then so can we. There’s
no standard left to us. There’s no example to follow. If the Gods
can be capricious then so can we. I don’t want or need a reason to
do anything. Our son is dead.
Our daughter is dead.
And I sit here! And I wasn’t there for either
of them!”
“So
what, you’ll be there for them now? By joining them in the grave?
Is that it? Abandon me, abandon Marcus, abandon Illyria, all so that
you can return to them? And what would they want from you? What
could you possibly do for them? They both chose
how to live and how
to die. They both chose
to leave you
behind. What would they possibly want with you, if you reached them
again? I’m the
person who chose to stay at your side!”
Lydra wailed. “The only person you could ever abandon is me! The
only person who has ever needed you is me. The only person you ever
swore to keep is me.”
“Why
are you doing this?” Marcellus turned on her. “You’ve never
tried to hold me back before. Why now? Why when I most want to go?”
“Because,
love, before you never wanted to go.” Lydra stared at him
earnestly, eyes wide. “Before I always knew where your heart
rested. . .and now I see it leaving me for love of something else. .
.something ugly.”
Marcellus
felt tired. Felt old. Felt worn out and used up. He was doing
something wrong, and it was tearing him from the one thing that had
always, without question, without reserve, from the very start, loved
him. Everything he touched withered and died. He knew that now in a
place deeper than his own soul. Everything he ever touched withered
and died. It all fell to ruin. He ruined everything. And the worst
thing was, he didn’t even know how. Or why. He just knew that it
always did.
“What
would you have of me?” Marcellus asked quietly. “Both our
children dead on the same day. My grandchild. . .dead before it was
born. Publius dead before he ever lived. . .it has to be a sign.
Things like this don’t just happen. Illyria doesn’t just destroy
entire families out of caprice.” Marcellus smiled, knowing he had
just said the opposite the moment before. But he’d known it false
even in saying it. Of course the Goddess had a reason. The reason
was he had been mistaken. He had lived it wrong. Publius shouldn’t
have had to fight his war. Illyria had given the mantle to him, to
protect her. And he had abandoned her in her time of need. She had
even sent his own son to remind him, and he had abandoned her even
then. Worse, he had used her very name as the reason to abandon her.
Twice cursed, to use as a shield the very thing he was meant to
shield. A perversion of all that was just and right and fair.
“Marcellus,
I can’t lose you.” Lydra stated. “My children lay dead. .
.the children I bore, the children I gave life to. You are all I
have left, you and Marcus. You are all that I live for now. I can’t
lose you too.”
“It’s
not like that. . .” Marcellus searched for words. “Living for
me. . .isn’t living with me. It’s living for. . .all the
greatness. . .that our souls can only together reach.”
“You’ve
built and protected a city. You’ve inspired and helped everyone
around you. That is great. Not leaving everything that needs and
loves you to go kill.”
“Not
to kill.” Marcellus sighed. “But to take up the duty I should
never have let down. To save us from all the killers of the world.”
“Why
would you protect them?
Why won’t you protect me?
Why is your duty always to others, and never to yourself? Why can’t
you ever be there when I
need you?” Lydra
implored.
Marcellus
closed his eyes, hard, trying to find the words that would set him
free. “Because in valuing them. . .I assert the value of my own
soul. . .and the right to be valued by everyone else. In serving
them. . .I earn the right that others must serve me. Because
everything worthy about me is not mine alone, but must be valued in
everyone I find, if I should give any value to myself for it.
Because my honor is my right to pride, and my pride my spur to
honor.”
“Are
these words meant for me, or yourself?” Lydra asked, quietly. The
quiet still voice that was on the brink of surrender. “This wasn’t
the reason you had before.”
Marcellus
smiled. “This is the only reason why anyone should do anything.
It is my only reason left to me now. You stole away all the rest.”
Lydra
smiled, sadly, because she knew he would leave her now, and that she
would let him go. Because he was right, and because she had to, to
have any right to hold him.
“I believe you. . .and your
reason.” She took a long breath, gathering her thoughts. “You
are her
champion. I’ve seen it too many times to doubt now. But love,
don’t you dare think you’ve failed Her. Don’t leave out of
guilt and shame, returning to her like some adulterer, contrite and
abased. You aren’t just yourself, but everything you love and
cherish. It wasn’t that Publius took up the mantle you let down. .
.it was that you carried the mantle the whole time. You have always
been her champion. You were her champion when you nurtured a tiny
babe from sickness to health. You were her champion when Marcus
inspired the whole of Scamander with piety. You were her champion
when you gave your life to preserve an army’s. You were even her
champion when you convinced yourself to go to war out of love and not
hate. It is all you. And you have always been hers. And she has
always loved you, and you have always been true to her. You didn’t
forsake her, not once. You’re hers, heart and soul, always and
forever. All that you love, all that loves you. . .loves the Goddess
most of all. And don’t you see? To love her most of all. . .that
makes you Her most of all. Marcellus, you’re not just her
champion. . .in loving her. . .you are
Illyria. And
Illyria is you. I look at you and I see the Goddess, fair beyond
fair, a beauty divine. I married into a race of angels.”
Marcellus
smiled. “You couldn’t have married into one. . .because you
already were.” Then he swallowed, and she smiled. And they were
so old. . .and their love so new. Because they had just fallen in
love again. And the worst thing was. . .they had only done it, said
it, because they knew it was the last time they could. The worst
thing was they fell in love just to say goodbye. Marcellus kissed
her, turning away to hide his tears. And as he left to take back his
sword. . .he didn’t know that Lydra was crying too, the tears
falling silently the moment he had turned.
Marcellus
looked upon the ragged men quietly, betraying no thoughts. He had
hoped to lead men to the reinforcement of Crassus, not the
replacement. But these men couldn’t be expected to fight save from
desperation, and then only in exhaustion. That was the battle they
had waged the entire month of retreat they had endured, the Centaurs
hounding and harassing them from every side, having to fight for
every step home, because the Centaurs weren’t content with
surrender but only slaughter. Only the unearthly discipline of the
Legions had seen them intact across such a length for so long. No
amount of extra men would infuse strength back into these men. It
would be years before they could be asked to fight again. Stragglers
were cut off and killed, and so now there were no stragglers. The
Legion just carried those who couldn’t keep marching until they
could again, each friend looking to each friend, the legion’s
shield wall preserving them from any direct attack, moving as slow as
a mile in a day. Sometimes that was the best they could do.
Well,
if he couldn’t turn their strength to his advantage, maybe he could
turn their weakness. Marcellus smiled at the obvious insanity of the
thought, but also because he was already thinking along that pathway
and already finding a strategy in it. He smiled because he’d found
an answer in a joke.
“What
is it, sir?” The attendant asked, leading him to Crassus’ tent.
Crassus hadn’t deigned to meet him when he arrived. He was too
important, too busy
to meet his saviour. Sheole,
Sheole. Only you could replace vanity for pride. It
would be too shameful to admit that he needed help, that he was
retreating, that his army was on the brink of collapse and death.
Too shameful to admit he’d made a mistake, or been mistaken. No,
Crassus had done everything right, and was exactly where he wanted to
be, everything going according to plan. If there was anything worse
than an idiot, it was a person ruled by his idiocy. If he were
Crassus, he would have met himself at the front of the gate,
explained the situation, the enemy’s tactics and strength, his
resources, and then right there in front of his troops pledged his
loyalty and would have asked what Marcellus wanted him to do. He
wouldn’t have apologized, or simpered, or begged, or bowed. He
wouldn’t have admitted any mistake either, because no one cared and
it didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was getting
his men out alive, and stopping the Centaurs. And the only way to
have redeemed himself would have been to commit himself to that, and
not care what anyone thought of him, not even himself, but instead
just done his best to address the task at hand. And if he were
Marcellus, he would have thanked Crassus for his help, and honored
him for holding out an entire month on the retreat and saving all his
men. Because Marcellus would have known that here was a good person,
who had made a mistake, but was willing to throw himself off a cliff
if he thought that would somehow help relieve the harm of it. And
for such a person, he would praise and honor, in front of all his
men, in the hopes that his men would forgive and follow him still,
because they would be serving someone who already served them.
Marcellus smiled. And if he were Crassus’ men, he would cheer his
speech, and honor their leader, even though he had driven them all to
ruin, because they saw that though his understanding was bad, his
judgment was good, and on the field of honor judgment was the measure
alone. They would cheer Crassus, and then they would pledge their
loyalty to Marcellus as well, and follow his commands to the letter.
Because on the field of battle understanding was the measure alone.
Crassus would defer, Marcellus would praise him, the army would love
him, and then they would go beat the Centaurs together, and no one
would be ashamed, and no one would be lying, and no one would be
idiotic. If only he were just everyone.
Then there wouldn’t even be any Centaurs to fight. Because he
would just turn around and go home, and leave all the rest of his
selves to go home too. In fact, if he were everyone, the whole world
would be his home, and everyone could go anywhere and be home,
because it was all him, and it was all home. And everyone would do
the obvious and sensible and just plain right
thing in their
life, and everyone would live in the right way, because it was just
too stupid to do it any other way. And then everyone would be happy,
but that hardly mattered. What really mattered is that then they
wouldn’t be such idiots.
If everyone were him, he could make it through a whole day without
wondering why the world didn’t just explode out of despair for its
inhabitants. But then, if everyone were him, he couldn’t have
married Lydra. He couldn’t have had Publius and Jania and Marcus.
He never would have met Maximus or Fabius or Sertorius. If everyone
were him, and the whole world his home. . .he would die from
loneliness. So if for every Lydra a Crassus had to exist, Marcellus
counted it a bargain. If for every Lydra there were a million
Crassuses, he would thank Illyria for her kindness. Because in the
end, the only person who would ever matter was Lydra. The only
person he’d be with was Lydra. The only person he’d care about
was Lydra. And the rest could be as stupid or malicious or cruel or
evil as they wanted, because it wouldn’t touch him at all. It
would all just slide away, like water off oil, like it didn’t exist
at all. Because to him, they didn’t. Because he wasn’t about to
waste his life on them when he had her.
If someone were going to have power over him, it would be her,
because she was the only person worth belonging to. Because he knew
that the only power she would ever have is to bring a smile to his
face, a warmth in his heart, a pride in his life, a determination in
his actions, a rebuke to his excesses, a laugh at life, a comfort at
death. To be angry at Crassus was as stupid as Crassus himself.
Because instead he could be thinking how much he loved his wife, and
how perfect she was, and how special she made him. Because of all
the people he could let control him, Crassus was the most ridiculous
and Lydra the most blessed he could possibly imagine. So instead he
smiled, and loved her, and forgot the stupidity of a general too vain
to save his own honor and his only right to pride, all the way until
he reached the tent.
He
even forgot all the soldiers looking at him as he walked smiling past
them, not even seeing them, but with a glow in his face and a
lightness in his step that they couldn’t help but smile too. Who
smiled, and felt safe, and saved, because Marcellus was here and he
was happy so obviously they would win after all. In the legions, his
smile alone was promise enough of victory. Because he had never
lost, and his men had always gone home. And in these legions, they
had known his son, and loved him. Because so long as Publius had
been with them, they had won, and now that his father was there, they
knew they would win again.
Marcellus
entered the command tent, Crassus bent over his map sweating. “About
time.” Crassus complained. “What have you been doing, sleeping
twenty hours of every day?”
Marcellus
took off his cloak. “We were only informed of the situation
fifteen days ago. A courier who hadn’t slept nor eaten for three
days, having ridden at least ten horses to death and had started
stealing them when he couldn’t buy them any more. I was only
informed ten days ago, when another string of couriers had ridden all
the way up the Republic to the edge of Mania. And for the past ten
days I’ve ridden hard enough to cover the same ground it took the
couriers twenty. Though granted, you’re a month closer march now
than you were then. The army won’t reach you for another ten days
yet. It has had to march all the way from Scamander.”
“Ten
days yet!” Crassus scowled. “How am I supposed to hold for ten
days yet?”
“Maybe
you should have thought of that before you overextended your forces,
your messengers, and your supplies.” Marcellus judiciously
commented.
“How
was I supposed to know I’d have to fight nomads?” Crassus turned
on him. “How can I be blamed? I went to conquer Datia and so I
did! No one said I had to defeat Centaurs.”
“Funny.
No one ever told me what would happen before my campaigns either.”
Marcellus smiled widely. “It must be some sort of conspiracy.”
“I
hope you didn’t come all this way to mock me.” Crassus sneered.
“I have better things to do than to be lectured by an old, washed
out, cuckolded, coward who retreats before every battle and
surrenders after them.”
Marcellus
thought of holding Lydra, of sleeping with Lydra, and closed his
eyes. “I’m not here to mock you, Crassus. I’m here to save
you, and all your men, and all your vanity in the bargain, if you’ll
let me. And if you don’t let me, I’ll just save your men, and
you can go trade insults with Sheole in hell.”
“Are
you threatening me?”
“With
nothing but your own stupidity.” Marcellus responded, and Crassus
couldn’t figure out if that were a challenge or not and was left
silent. It made him inestimably wiser.
“Your
legions can’t fight another battle, we’ll be feeding them on hope
and desperation alone for this last stretch. My legions can’t win
this war, they’re raw and tired and on foreign ground of the
enemy’s specialty. So this is what we’re going to do. We’re
going to retreat, win this battle, and then surrender. In the most
cowardly fashion possible. And then we’ll go home. And whenever
people ask if you’re a coward, you can say no, it was all
Marcellus’ fault. All you ever did was throw away ten thousand men
in a fruitless and meaningless war. And you can smile at yourself in
the mirror and be proud.” Marcellus smiled at Crassus the whole
time. After that Crassus was even quieter. For some reason whenever
Marcellus smiled and spoke softly everyone thought he was going to
kill them. It was odd. But then again, it was also very helpful.
And most likely very true. It made him feel better at shouting at
his family. That wasn’t anger. If he had been angry, he would
have been smiling. It was good to know that his family had never
seen him smile at them and talk softly. That with them he could
never truly be angry. It was good to know that his children had
lived and died knowing they had never made him angry, but only proud
and then proud and then proud. It was really good to know.
“Win
this battle, you say.” Crassus finally spoke. “How?”
Marcellus
walked over to the map, pointing at the great river that fed the
heart of Leucadia. “We’ll fight them here. We’ll crush them
here, and then we’ll both want to go home.”
Chapter 23.
“You
have a steady stream of stragglers, defectors?” Marcellus asked
peremptorily. Crassus nodded after a while, not wanting to admit it.
“And the Centaurs catch and kill them?” Crassus nodded again.
“That’s all? Or is that what the men are told?”
“Perhaps
some of them get away.” Crassus admitted. “But far fewer than
if they had stayed with us. You can’t be suggesting. . .?”
“Of
course not. They’d be hunted down and killed and only one in a
thousand would be lucky enough to survive the environment, the
Centaurs, the Datians, and the journey. No, if we’re going to
escape this land, it’s as a legion, and the defectors must be
caught and executed ourselves if the Centaurs don’t. By defecting,
they abandon their men, their oath, their country, and their Goddess.
Worse, they inspire others to do the same, until there’s a chain
of chaos rippling through the Legions like a plague.”
“Then
why this talk of defectors?”
“Because
I want to know if any defectors have turned traitor, and not just
deserted. I want to know if any of our men have showed up as our
pursuers the next day. Do the Centaurs actually kill all the men
they catch? Even the ones that go willingly to them?”
Crassus
bit his lip. “Some of the wounded. . .would stay behind, hoping
the Centaurs would care for them where we could not. Some who were
willing to do anything for a drink of water. . .many out of sheer
exhaustion, thinking living as slaves would be better than taking
another step. . .that’s sort of trickled off. Only the strong
remain now.”
“Still
some defect, though?” Marcellus pressed.
“Of
course, a few every day, a few every night, there’s always some.”
“And
the Centaurs? Do they care for any, take any as slaves?”
“All
cultures take slaves.” Crassus frowned. “If they’re pretty or
strong or talented, there’s always a market for them. I don’t
see why the nomads would be any different. It’s hardly a fate I
could wish of even a traitor, though. . .” There was a regular
practice of making eunuchs out of prisoners of war, in order to
pacify them. Or chopping off their thumbs, so they could no longer
hold a weapon, or putting out their eyes, or cutting out their
tongue. . .a slave had little hope of escaping a whole man, and even
then most likely he would be branded on the cheek, and his children
after him, and so on down the years. It was a fate Marcellus could
never wish of an Illyrian, but one they had chosen for themselves, so
he held no sympathy for them. “What are you getting at?”
Crassus finally demanded. At least he was being helpful now that he
wasn’t worried about his place. Maybe Marcellus should walk around
holding a sign that said—“I don’t plan to supplant you.” It
wouldn’t help, though. Because people who lived in that
cannibalistic world were incapable of believing that another existed.
To them, denial would only be proof of its truth.
“Infiltrators.”
Marcellus spoke softly. “Spies. Liars. Whatever you wish to
call them. I suggest we allow a group of loyal men to ‘defect’
to the Centaur ranks. Enough to get one of them through to their
leader’s ear, not enough to make them suspicious.”
“But
that would be—“
“Cowardly?”
Marcellus smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s my plan. Of course you
needn’t sully yourself with it.”
“I
just meant. . .” Crassus quickly tried to escape Marcellus’
smile. He gave up lying and just went back to the matter at hand.
“And what will they do?”
“Upon
facing the rigors of their captivity, they’ll seek preferential
treatment by claiming to have vital information regarding our plans
and the chance of the destruction of our forces. With enough
concurrent voices, they’ll believe it has some merit in it, and
there we are. The Centaurs will think they know our next move, move
accordingly, and we’ll know how they’ll move before they do it,
and move accordingly. They’ll fall right into our hands.”
“And
where are our hands?” Crassus asked, still trying to unravel what
Marcellus had just said.
“Waiting
across the river, but far enough back that they don’t notice. All
we have to do is get them to believe that we’re going to break for
it upon crossing the river, and they’ll be so intent on crossing
the river first and trapping us that by the time they find resistance
it’ll be too late and half their disorganized pursuing men have
been trapped against our own
men and crushed.
And when the other half finds themselves against a wholly new and
untouched Illyrian army, they’ll think better than trying to ford
that river, or take one more step into Leucadia. And that will be
the end of it. The end of it, and we holding the richest part of
Datia afterwards. Enough of a victory for all the people to hail
your name.”
Crassus
nodded. “Not half bad.” He stared at the map, and all the lands
west of the Ibis, that were suddenly his once more. “Not bad at
all.” Crassus smiled graciously. It was alright to be gracious in
triumph, just never humble in defeat.
“Thank
you.” Marcellus smiled, with complete feigned sincerity. He
needed to get along with Crassus if these men were going to live. He
could abide hypocrisy until then. Now it was just a matter of
getting another perfect plan to work.
“Tamur
sire,” The scribe announced at the entrance of his tent. It was a
large tent, easily containing a home. The King of Datia had brought
this tent along against the Illyrians, and strangely enough it had
saved him. Then the Illyrians brought it against the Centaurs,
except by the first battle, they had already left it behind along
with all the other baggage in need for speed. So now it was his
command tent, and strangely enough, the King of Datia was sitting
beneath it and talking to him right now. The jests gods played with
all the eddies and currents of the world. He smiled. It was obvious
why humanity was born from the meeting of plain and sun—the gods
needed someone who could appreciate their humor. Someone they could
play jokes on, or else where was the fun in joking?
“Captain
Messagi wishes audience with you.” Tamur raised his eyebrow with
slight scorn. The King bowed deeply. “It is no affront, sire. I
will withdraw if you wish.”
“Not
at all.” Tamur gestured him to rise. “Scribe, send him in.”
Then he turned back to the King pointedly. “It’s a pity your
land is so rich. With land like this, your people must become so
soft and plush and fat. They just scatter seeds and wait for food to
grow into their mouths. Such a hopeless land to conquer. No matter
how many farmers I killed, more would come for the land, and the
moment I turned my back there would be a sprawling city once more.
Even if I salted the land, the river would just bring more fertile
soil, and more farmers would come to farm it, and more cities would
grow. This Datia—“ Tamur laughed. “Is a goddess of weeds!
Easily cropped, impossible to kill.”
The
King gave a slight smile, not sure how he should respond. “She is
a great Goddess for our people, who wish for soft and gentle lives.
A gentle land for a peaceful people. Her blood is in us, so her
nature rules us. . .the same nature that provided the land, the same
nature that tills it.”
“Your
Datia must be very loved.” Tamur nodded respectfully. “But we
of the plains have little use for a loving god. We need a fierce
father, not a soft mother. A god of wind and fire, sun and storm.
This is the god that flows through our veins, the blood of strength
and glory.”
“But
what is the strongest man without anyone to reveal his strength?”
The King asked. “The most glorious king without any subjects to
hail him? The greatest god without any to worship him? All the
highest mountains start with the widest bases, so that as they taper
they can reach ever-higher through the sky.”
Tamur
nodded, delighted at this King’s cunning. Dwellers in cities spent
all their days learning how to become subtle and clever with their
words, so it was no wonder that their King was the most delightful
speaker of all. To let an empire survive even after its conquest, so
as to reflect the glory of the people that ruled the empire. In a
way, it was an accusation that a strong person wouldn’t destroy his
underlings because that would admit he had some reason to fear them.
A strong person would in fact preserve and cultivate his conquests,
because they would only glorify him the more. A subtle argument, on
every side. An appeal to Tamur’s own courage. Do you dare
to preserve us? Of
course he would have to dare now. It was too intriguing a vision to
let pass. But the King would not know that Tamur had agreed to it,
and not been tricked. The King might think he had some hold on his
master, but in truth he had none at all. It would be enough to keep
him in his place for the years to come.
“Very
well, captain, you may speak.” Tamur finally allowed.
“Sire.”
Messagi bowed. “Some of the wounded Illyrians were left behind
these few nights past, but were still strong enough to walk. They
were found cursing the traitors that had abandoned them.”
“Yes?”
Tamur had dispatched the wounded because they were a burden, and
deserters because they were cowards, but some few brave men were not.
Those who had fought all this way until the end, but could fight no
longer, though they could live with the slightest care. . .those were
men worth saving, out of respect if for nothing else. These men did
not deserve to die.
“They
expected to be killed, and raised no resistance, only staring
defiantly. So we took them prisoner, as too courageous for death.
We thought to make them slaves, and tend to the horses. . .but some
few cried that they could trade secrets for better treatment. It was
their only chance at vengeance, they said. Shall I bring one before
you?”
Tamur
thought about it. Men of the city spent all their lives plotting and
sneaking, and this seemed too good to be true. And yet, during this
entire dilated battle, his opponent had not made one surprising or
novel move. He had only retreated, step by step, fighting in the
same manner each day, camping in the same manner each night. There
was not a single moment when any flash of genius had shown through.
If there was some trick in this, it would have been done long ago,
and it would not have been the first trick. However, it fit exactly
the sort of man who would abandon his own men for the hope of greater
speed. A cowardly and stupid commander who had finally made one
mistake too many. It made more sense than that same cowardly and
stupid commander suddenly making a brilliant plot. So it wasn’t
amazing that he had happened upon a way to destroy his stubborn
enemy. It was only surprising that they hadn’t been destroyed
already.
“Bring
them in.” Tamur finally commanded. “I think they are not the
only ones who wish for vengeance. It seems that Illyrians don’t
stop at backstabbing allies, but even their own followers. They
remind me of that term. . .what is it called?”
“Dogs,
sire.” The King gleamed. “They are Illyrian dogs.”
“Dogs.”
Tamur smiled. “That is a good name for them. A good insult all
around.”
The
spies had been wrong. Tamur noted this, and was pleased. If they
had been right, then they would have obviously been planted. There
was no way a few common legionnaires could have known the exact
fallout of their commander’s decisions for days to come without
being instructed by that commander. As it was, they were wrong,
which meant they were mostly right. The Illyrians had not decided to
rout after reaching the apparent safety of the river and the cities.
Rather, they had decided to turn about and stand, hoping the river
would be enough trouble crossing that cavalry would be no better than
infantry in the fight ahead. It was a brave decision, and a wise
one. But what they did not know is that Tamur had ridden hard the
past few days, knowing of their plan to rout across the river, and
determined to encircle them beforehand. That in fact only a half of
his army was in direct pursuit of the Legions now, the rest having
already overtaken them, waiting in ambush on the other side. Now all
that was required was a charge on either side, and the army would be
devoured. It was finally over, and Tamur smiled because things
hadn’t gone right but they were going to anyway. In the end,
discipline would always lose to mobility. The greatest warriors
would always be the fastest, who could strike the hardest, quickest,
and fiercest. The greatest warriors were those that could kill and
not die. Disciplined armies were capable of killing, but they always
died. Not his armies. With speed, he could escape any danger, and
attack where they were most vulnerable, and at all times have the
odds on his side. Every motion they made was that of a flailing
giant, far too slow and cumbersome to hit the darting biting serpent.
That was why this army was defeated, and all the others before, and
all the rest to come. They had invested in the wrong strength, and
though these were the strongest men Tamur had ever faced, it was the
wrong strength, and thus it had lost. After this, he needn’t fear
any of the nations of the west. He could just ride and ride, and
they would all fail, because they were all too stupid and blind to
see what a strong army was.
So much the worse for them. There was a flash of irritation within,
at how meaningless war had become. Like butchering helpless babies.
There was no glory in this. Not like on the plains, where all the
battles were as fierce as the fiercest, hottest storms. Where
everyone rode, and everyone darted, and everyone could shoot down
game from afar at the wildest gallop. That was war. . .this was just
slaughter. And yet it was their own fault for being so stupid and
blind and weak. The true crime wasn’t the slaughter he had brought
to them, but that they had long before amputated their own arms with
which to resist. So much the better that they should be extinguished
and real men take their place. So much the better.
Except
the charge didn’t come. He kept waiting for it, his drums to come
pounding from behind. There his riders waited, looking at the
stalwart Legion across the river, waiting for the sound of drums
charging from behind. But no sound came. Surely now.
Tamur waited a minute. Well perhaps that had been too early, but
surely now.
He waited again, his nows
of expectation
coming closer and closer together, until he was at a loss as to how
any eventuality could explain it. It was as though they had simply
vanished. The thought struck him as somehow terrifying because it
was the
only explanation.
“Where
are they?” He shouted, to none in particular. “Where are my
men?” None dared even raise an eye to him. “WHERE ARE THEY?”
He screamed, staring at the Legion across from them with hatred. He
swore they were mocking him. That they were laughing at him right
now. And yet if he charged, odds were he would just vanish as well.
He stared at them with pure hatred and was too afraid to attack,
because he didn’t know what was going on. All he wanted was to
know. And then he thought of his spies, and with a flash of rage
ordered men to bring them. Except by the time anyone had thought to
find them, they were all dead. Killed themselves, to avoid the worse
fates to come. Tamur couldn’t even avenge himself on them.
“The
last of them, sir.” The marshal smiled, the fresh sparkling smile
of a boy who had seen war and loved it. The Centaurs had reached
within a hundred yards of the river, before javelins had brought them
down. The river was held by a whole Legion, to kill all those who
escaped, to the north of Crassus, and another Legion, to the south.
There were so many thousands upon thousands of men hunting and
killing the Centaurs as they crossed that it was only a contest to
see who would deliver the blow. All the Legions of Scamander, the
fresh, parade soldiers who had thought to never fight but were
overjoyed to have won, versus a steady string of hard pressed,
hard-ridden, disorganized Centaurs fording the river only to discover
there was no way back. It had been one of the easiest battles
Marcellus had had to command. And here were the last of them, caught
and killed. Not a single one escaping the box. And hardly a single
loss on their own side. A true slaughter. But this one Marcellus
felt no pity for, no remorse. They had killed his son. There was no
remorse for them. There was no quarter given nor asked. There was
no quarter for any of them. Not even a thought of it.
“The
last of them, sir.” The marshal replied, as if to stress the
point. Marcellus kept retreating from the world around him. It was
hard to notice the world as it was today. Too much of the time he
was living in the past, or in some world foreign to both. He shook
his head, knowing it was a sign of danger. That he was losing
himself. That he was becoming old, too old, so old that it was hard
to think of himself as the same person he remembered he used to be.
He was old and tired and he ached everywhere and someone had said
something and he had forgotten what it was.
“Sir?”
Now the men around him were truly worried. Perhaps Marcellus was
angry? Disappointed? His face was unreadable. It was like he
wasn’t even there. “Please, sir. Where should we deploy now?
You have to have orders. We want to know what to do.”
Marcellus
sighed, looking at him without recognizing him or why he was talking.
“Oh, let’s be done with it.” He started riding forward, away
from his men. “Form the Legions, like the best parade you’ve
ever done. Horns blazing all the way, and march to the river’s
edge. The left flank to Crassus, like a parade. And just be sure to
show how perfectly invincible you are with every step.”
“Yes
sir!” The marshal smiled, taking it as true praise. After all,
they had been invincible.
“And
tell the messengers, the battle is done. Tell them to take their
places, and shine like butterflies, and we can be done with it.”
Once Marcellus would have been proud of this moment. He had most
probably saved the entire empire, perhaps the entire civilized world,
from a force unlike any other, which he doubted any other general
could have defeated. He had faced it, and destroyed it, and with
hardly any expense to his name. It was one of the greatest triumphs
Illyria had ever known.
But
he wasn’t proud at all. He didn’t even care.
Chapter 24.
The
men before him were bashful, ashamed. Some were even afraid. Most
likely they were all afraid, but some were less capable of hiding it.
They had come with Marcellus this whole march, the longest, hardest
thing they had done in their entire lives, and he had done it with
them. Then they had watched Marcellus deliver them a miracle, peace,
victory, and triumph, at seemingly no cost at all, through seemingly
no effort of their own. They had every reason to love him, the most
venerated and esteemed man in Illyria since Maximus’ death. For
Marcellus, now, was to join the rank of generals who had never lost a
battle. But grander than that, grander than all of Maximus’ deeds,
Marcellus had made every battle count, and won peace at the end of
each. Maximus, and those who came before him, had used every battle
as a stair step to the next. Marcellus had used it as the quickest
way to a peace treaty, and everyone coming home. They loved him for
that, too. Again, he had done the impossible, and made peace with
the merciless slaughterers who days before would have stopped at
nothing short of the oceans. He was so obviously blessed, and he had
blessed them so. Which was why they were so ashamed right now, and
most of all afraid, to stand before their fellow men.
Because
it was their job to bring him back in chains.
“Sir!”
The foremost legionnaire spoke, carefully and slowly. “In light
of your most recent actions, the Senate has decreed for your return
to Scamander, where you can explain yourself to your detractors.”
Marcellus
only nodded, smiling. He had known the cost of leaving his
self-imposed exile the day he had gone. By returning to the field,
he had begun warring not with the Centaurs, but with all the
power-hungry would-be-rulers of Illyria. The war he had come to
fight was won--this war he never chose, and refused to fight.
“There
are so many accusations. . .the Senate just means to clear your name,
I’m sure.” The boy spoke. It was what he wished the Senate were
doing, at least. That made Marcellus feel a little warmer. “But
they can’t be left unanswered any longer. I’m sorry, sir.”
The crowd around them began to murmur, began to shuffle between
Marcellus and the enforcers.
“No!
No!” They broke out, angrily, forcefully. The enforcers
scrunched backwards, fearful, eyes wide. Marcellus saw, and they
knew, that their lives were in his hand. It was the strangest thing.
To rely on a person’s goodness to force him to his deathbed. The
reason why these men of his had issued his arrest order, was because
they knew he would not have them killed. Strange, then, that they’d
want to arrest him in the first place. But then no one else cared
if law and morality were divorced. The law was just one more weapon
to the lawless. Marcellus had known this before as well.
“What
is the Senate?” A marshal cried. “Who are they?”
“Old
fools! Corrupt bureaucrats! Paid puppets!”
“What
right? What right? What right to touch Marcellus?” The men’s
cries became more impassioned, lifting each other higher with each
cry impelling the next.
“Enough!”
Marcellus shouted, in his strongest voice, silencing the whole
crowd. “The Senate is the Republic, and the Republic is Illyria.
And I, for one, am an Illyrian.” Then he stood up, but people
would not let him pass.
“NO!
NO!” They shouted back at him. “You
are Illyria! You!
You!”
“Let
us march back to the Senate! All of us! Let us all come with you,
and we can put them
on trial!”
“Sunhand!
Sunhand! Imperator! Father of Illyria!” Marcellus winced
inwardly at their every word. If there had been any chance of
escaping the charge of treason before, it was now impossibly lost.
He could already feel the nails pinning him to the crucifix. If that
were his fate, better to fall upon his sword now. The death of
honor, and painless in comparison. He felt the sword on his side,
felt aware of its existence in a new and serious way. He could feel
every nuance of its pull against his side, how its grip felt against
the palm of his hand. Should he draw now? They might stop him if he
tried. Should he try, and be stopped, and thus hope for a reprieve?
Cowardly, to draw a sword and not blood it. Craven, to lie about
such a thing. The blood seemed to rush through him like thunder.
They kept talking, and they were killing him. It was the strangest
sensation he’d felt in all his memory, that those trying to kill
him were hoping he would live, and those hoping he’d live were
killing him. It made him want to laugh. But that was the first step
to madness. No, he could not leave things this way. First to calm
his men. If he killed himself now, they might march on Scamander all
the same in the name of vengeance. Besides, he could not die letting
people think of him as Emperor. He had to live just a little longer.
“Dear
Goddess, forgive these men their words!” Marcellus broke through
their cries. “If you will not protect the Republic, then who is
left? What will become of us, a land of slaves? Did I stop the
Centaurs only so that we might butcher ourselves? Is that what we
fought for?”
The
legions quieted, chagrined. They could not look their Consul in the
eye.
“I
live for Illyria! We all swore our lives to Her! And you wish to
march upon it? Only the demons could twist love and duty so far as
that! If to live for the Goddess, I must die for her people, what of
it? Is death so evil as that? I am old, two of my children are
dead, must I continue living forever? Is there no rest for me? No
end to the slaughters? No end to the marches? Must I now spend the
last year of my life making a mockery of all the years before?
Should I prefer my throat to the throat of freedom? To the throats
of millions lost in war? Shall it be my hand, that establishes the
right of might? That tramples down the Goddess for the sake of
preempting her glory? Shall I rule over ash and ruin, and the end to
all things? Shall I blot out all the starry heavens, and claim
darkness for my throne? There is only one life, the true life, lived
for Her! For Her alone we live, for Her alone we die!”
The
men looked at Marcellus, not understanding, not wishing to
understand. It was always that way. They would never understand.
They never would. It would go on and on, and they’d never
understand. Not if he told them a thousand times for a thousand
years. It would have as much meaning as the passing stream. So he
quit. He gave up, and gathered up his cloak. They didn’t have to
understand anyway. All they had to do was let him go. All they had
to do was leave him be for just a short while. He would never go
back with those men, but he still felt duty-bound to see them safe.
If he died now, they would be torn apart as his killers. Best if he
went with them for at least the first day. Marcellus felt the sword
at his waist dragging with ever-greater weight. How long would duty
keep his breath? He felt like a drowning man clutching at straws. A
day left to live, and then? The abyss loomed before him, and he
wondered desperately what a person should do with a day left to live.
He
wondered if anything he did that day would make any difference.
And
then he wondered if anything he ever did made any difference at all.
Sooner or later, his bloodline would run out. There was only Marcus,
now. . .and sickly Joseph, if that counted. Then all those who knew
of him would die. Then all the stories would die out as well.
Sooner or later they would all forget. Then, even then, enough time
would pass as to make the minor impact he had on the world
superfluous, with enough other people doing enough other things to
mean he might as well have never lived. Like Sertorius said. .
.great wars, wars beyond wars, and not a single difference in the
end. . .
If
his whole life had achieved nothing. . .what could he hope for in a
day? The abyss yawned greater, devouring whole chunks of his life
with rapid speed. There went his lineage. He felt it like a blow.
His memory. His people. His homeland. There it was falling, piece
by piece, into that blackness. He could feel himself falling away
into it tear by ragged tear. Like a wolf devouring a still-living
deer, having never bothered to take out its throat. He could feel
each bite, but was helpless to stop them. It was terrifying. He was
dying, and he was killing himself, but he couldn’t stop it. The
dread weight of the sword and the implacable logic of his mind were
stronger than any enemy he’d ever faced before.
“What,
then, of it all?” He whispered. “What of it? What was it all
for?”
“Sir?”
The attendant asked, as they rode out of the Legion, praying with
all their hearts that their comrades wouldn’t butcher them.
Marcellus
shook his head, murmuring. “What for? What for?” He tried to
summon up times of joy, but they tasted bitter, horribly sour, with
the mockery of the abyss. What
was your happiness for, Marcellus? What does it matter to me?
Summon all your memories if you like, you know they don’t matter to
me, they never can, and they never will. Every memory you summon I
only eat the sooner.
Marcellus
thought feverishly of ways around the abyss. It wasn’t even death.
It was something more insidious, greater than death, it was
everywhere and in everything, not just the end. Death could not
steal away the meaning of life. But now that he thought to find that
meaning, to ascribe it to himself, all he found was this abyss. This
was the only true answer. He thought of the demons, greed and hatred
and fear and despair and jealousy and decadence, and they seemed such
pathetic enemies, such pathetic evils. Here had been evil all along.
Here was the true evil, not perversion from good, but negation of
it. The true evil was the abyss that devoured the idea of good. And
after all his life striving to live right. . .he had never thought
until now that there was no right way to live.
For
some reason, people who loved him were leading him to torture and
death, after he had given his life to the very Republic that would
kill him for treason. The abyss laughed and laughed. What
for? Where is the story in this? Where is the meaning in this?
Where is the value in any of this? In anything at all?
He
wished Lydra were there. She would know.
Then
Marcellus smiled, because he knew too. Everyone knew, if they
stopped thinking about it.
The
men set to guard his tent thought nothing of it at the time.
Marcellus had been acting strangely, and his last words seemed only
to be more of the same. He had been under a lot of pressure, they
thought. He would recover. As all healthy people do, they ignored
sickness as best they could.
But
when they opened the tent flap, to find him skewered on his own
sword, the blood long since dried, the body long since cold, they
couldn’t help but think of them, with that reverence given to the
last words of every man. “Don’t
you see? You don’t have to find her, because she’s already in
us.” And for
some reason he had been smiling, when he was known only by his frown.
He had smiled, and then killed himself. There hadn’t been a
trial, or a thought of defense. He hadn’t even waited until they
reached Scamander. He could’ve lived at least ten more days.
They searched for a letter, but there was none. He hadn’t even
tried to defend himself. The sword through his gut he counted proof
enough. It made them want to cry, because they had always known he
was innocent. But they didn’t cry, because they were legionnaires.
Instead they decided to bring him home, though they had to march all
the way into Mania.
A
year later, the Senate awarded Marcellus a triumph for his defeat of
the Centaurs, and a full acquittal of all charges raised against him.
His family was allowed to live in peace.
Every
now and then they would remember his words, and wonder.
Chapter 25.
The
labor had been horribly painful, on a body too young. Her screams
had filled the entire household, but they seemed infinitely
preferable to the soft whimpers of terror and pain that followed
them. People started praying for it to end, without any thought as
to how. Just so that it would end and they wouldn’t have to hear
her anymore.
And,
miraculously, it did end. “A boy!” The midwife cried, quickly
poking and prodding the baby with expert care. The baby screamed
itself hoarse in protest.
“What’s
wrong?” Mirian cried, distressed. Her baby was crying. Her son
was screaming and something must be wrong. She must have done
something wrong. The thought made her sick with fatigue.
“Nothing,
dear! He’s supposed to scream.” The midwife smiled, cleaning
the baby away.
“Give
him to me.” She begged. “Can’t you see he’s scared?” The
midwife smiled again, with confident reassurance, and handed him
over. The baby found her breast, and perhaps that was soothing,
because it quickly grew silent and started sucking. But Mirian
thought it was the sound of her heartbeat. The heartbeat he had
lived with all his life. All she could think was how perfect he was.
“But
what is his name?” Many people had wondered about the baby. She
had bought her freedom the same time, and the household as well.
Someone very rich, perhaps. Who had enough conscience to provide for
his child if not for her. To at least pay for her services, before
abandoning her. They wondered why talk of ‘him’ only made her
smile, that glowing smile, that attracted so many people to her.
That was why the people she’d employed felt adopted. Because for
some reason she wasn’t ashamed at all but proud, and for some
reason they believed her over reality itself, and were proud for her
as well. But she had never told them, and all they had wanted was to
know.
“Martin.”
Mirian smiled again. “Martin Sunhand.” Then she brushed his
cheek.
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