The Greatest Vision
Wherein the Reader is
Introduced to the World
It
was Alfonso Parazzi who constructed the first biosphere meant for
residential habitation. Reporters and politicians flocked to Baffin
Island, Canada, to watch him cut the ribbon to one of the air-locks
that separated the interior from the environment outside. It was the
dawning of a new age of humanity. It signaled the beginning of a new
debate, that weighed the fate of stars and galaxies upon the scales
of human wisdom. It begot the question, what is the greatest vision
for the future of mankind?
But Alfonso Parazzi could not
have known that. To Parazzi, the bubble was
his greatest
vision. And today was the ultimate fulfillment of his life, because
today the whole world marveled at, and thanked him for, all the years
and tears he had given to that vision. Today was the first day he
knew for certain that his efforts had been worth it. Perhaps even
the first day he knew it was good that he had lived. Let’s not
dwell on how the biosphere worked, if you asked Alfonso, he could
surely tell you. We’re here simply to witness the beginning, the
first cause, the giant leap for mankind that finally made the
colonization of space not a possibility, but a plausibility.
We
can say that the biosphere did
work. The
government of Canada had helped fund the research from the beginning,
when he created and demonstrated a cheap but relatively impervious
lattice. First it was used in cars, Tupperware, and thousands of
other little things that required flexible but tough material. The
toughness was only a nice side effect, though. The most impressive
aspect of the material was its inertness. It did not expand or
contract under heat or cold, or react to any common element in the
air or on the ground. It did not decompose. It was a near-perfect
insulator. It formed an absolute barrier of is-ness that could not
be bullied into becoming-ness. The plastic, once made, could not be
changed short of being melted down. But Alfonso didn’t stop at
Tupperware, he dumped all the money back into his research and kept
pushing for the material that wouldn’t just make life easier, but
instead aid life itself. The product he had first imagined when the
first glob of plastic was formed in his lab.
This
plastic is what allowed for the creation of the biosphere, a
completely self-maintained environment. Water evaporated, condensed,
and precipitated inside the bubble. Air was changed from carbon
dioxide to oxygen by plants, and from oxygen to carbon dioxide by
people. Crops were grown inside the bubble, for the purposes of air
recycling as well as self-reliance. A couple roads and an airport
outside the bubble connected it to the rest of Earth’s inhabitants.
The airlocks made it a chore entering and leaving, so people mainly
stayed inside. That was the idea. A macrocosmic temperature
regulator. A little bubble of comfort on the face of a desolate
barren frozen wilderness. A blanket that kept in the heat Canada so
greedily tore from her countrymen. Soon after, bubbles sprouted up
in Russia, which had previously had the satisfaction of being the
largest wasteland in the world. It spread into the Arctic, and the
Antarctic, though only the most hardy of pioneers thought it
worthwhile to stray so far from the rest of humanity. Methods were
soon devised to keep it cool inside the bubble, rather than warm, and
Australia became a new frontier. Bubbles were made to keep things
drier, and specifically to completely purge the environment of
unwanted diseases, insects, and unwanted parasites, to the
transformation of Africa. Cities that had previously existed without
bubbles argued over the cost of erecting one versus the benefits that
could be expected thereby. There were no longer tropical, temperate,
and arctic zones. The zone was now whatever the bubble wished it to
be. The quality of life and cost of living skyrocketed and
plummeted. And though there were still wars and rumours of wars, the
multiplicity of little Edens that were sprouting up like a new
species of vegetation, spoke of a new opportunity and beginning for
mankind.
Mankind’s
most mortal adversary, the mosquito, squished itself against the
plastic barriers. Ants were told to dig elsewhere. Scorpions and
cockroaches and flies were forced to remain outside. Weeds almost
always managed to sneak in somehow, but weevils at least were
stopped. Locusts could no longer plague Egypt even if they’d
wanted to. Crop yields rose as fewer bugs spoiled them. Reducing
pesticides lowered the cost of food, improved its taste, and helped
maintain the environment, which could then support a far larger
population. The energy versus environment debate quietly dissipated,
as the primary need of fossil fuels for heating and cooling was
banished. Most of Earth’s people still lived ‘outdoors’ as the
new term became, but mini-bubbles even amidst the cities sheathed
wooden houses from termites and Fido from the rain.
After Alfonso Parazzi died,
the progressions of his model were made by fresh brilliant minds,
hoping for their own epitaphs in the annals of mankind. The bubble
defined the century. No other improvement even approached it. No
other invention spawned so many blessings to people in so many ways
in so many places. But like all things, the change was slow and
quiet and more gradual than the predictions. Many people, if asked
whether their lives had changed, or were much different from the
lives of their parents, or grandparents, would have answered no.
There were still barbarous countries and poor countries. America
still struggled to find a balance between satisfying the basic needs
of the people, and supporting the growth and freedom of the economy.
There still wasn’t ever enough money to go around. Families still
broke apart. Lovers still broke each other’s hearts. Children
still cried over every little thing. Men still drank too much and
smoked too much and cursed too much and gambled too much. Lawsuits
were still used as milk cows and weapons of spite in countries with
civil courts. Politicians still flouted the system, and changed
their promises after the election. It was still scary for a woman to
walk alone at night in Detroit. It still wasn’t even allowed for a
woman to walk alone at night in Iran.
The
bubble, you see, didn’t change all those little things about life.
The bubble didn’t remake life, it was the gift of more life, and
better life. Though there were even hopes of forming bubbles that
could withstand the pressure of settlement under the ocean, humanity
still had to live inside it. The bubble was just plastic.
Ingeniously constructed plastic. Humanity still provided the
stories.
Then
something rather unexpected happened. Back in Canada, where bubbles
had become the majority of cities, next to an icy cold shore, the
community of Langless agreed to dispense with clothes. A nudist
beach had spread to nudists returning from the beach to nudists going
shopping after returning from the beach, until people wondered why a
place with temperature control really needed clothing anymore.
Perhaps it was a peculiar, strange community, or perhaps it included
an abundance of beautiful men and women unafraid of scrutiny.
In any case, after clothing
was declared optional, many other Canadians moved there to appreciate
the view or to become part of it themselves. Others moved out,
scandalized and with hands over their children’s eyes. Soon
enough, the only people in the bubble either were naked themselves or
were happily staring at the Emperors and Godivas among them.
Reporters flocked to carry the story. Soon the whole world was
laughing over the dilemma Canada had been placed in by this rogue
bubble so at peace with itself. Whole TV channels were devoted to
simply feeding the live images of the bubble’s citizenry going
about its business.
After
a swift debate, Parliament voted to reimpose clothing on its
citizens. Protests flared, flashers across the world showed
solidarity with their nudist brethren and the bubble carried on a
campaign of civil disobedience, to the point that many wives of
police sent to enforce the code were as disgruntled as the women
who’d been manhandled back into shirts and pants. After a year of
sporadic disrobing, though, the community came back into the Canadian
fold. Many nudists left who no longer could be nude, and many others
came who didn’t want to be nude. The whole incident became a
national joke and historical footnote. Nobody thought the matter
could be described as the first debate over the fate of humanity.
But federalists and anti-federalists alike throw the name of that
city around as though it were a mini-Megiddo. That’s the final
battlefield of God and Satan, for those of you who haven’t studied
the Good Book nearly enough. They only disagreed over who was on
which side.
1. Wherein
the Reader is Introduced to Mars
Now, this terraforming of
Earth could have continued quite some time, with more land brought
into cultivation and comfort, and perhaps even the sea. However,
long before the physical territory of the world had been filled with
the prophetic planet-sheathing bubbles, the political territory had
quite devoured it. There was scarcely a square foot of land some
army wouldn’t have rushed to protect their claim to. Mineral
rights went right down to the mantle. Fishing rights and plankton
farms were zealously guarded by watchdog satellites and navy patrols.
Airspace, radio space, even Space-space, was cut into the finest pie
slices between the gun-totters of the world. Why, there were claims
by China and Japan over the next island the volcanoes were expected
to raise above the water level. For many people living in the world,
the countryside though still empty was far too occupied. And the
opportunities though ample were claustrophobic to the rising
generation which saw no place left for themselves. And worst of all,
peoples and cultures saw the last places in the world where a new
flag could have been flown, gobbled up forever. Earth’s frontiers
were absolutely closed. If a new nation wanted to emerge, it had to
carve itself from the old. Which the old countries for some reason
only allowed after years of bankruptcy and bloodshed, if ever. So
that many who could have wished for that new nation, never bothered
to try.
It was at this time that a
research team had been funded at enormous expense to stay a year on
the face of Mars, underneath man’s best friend, a bubble. It was a
temporary shelter, with a reflectivity designed specifically to
shield the scientists from the radiation, as well as customize the
temperature on an otherwise freezing planet. It gave them one bar of
atmosphere, so they could breathe normally. The air and water had
been imported. Trillions of dollars had gone to the project.
Congress shook many a fist at pork barrel spending and waste while
grandmothers still couldn’t afford treatments for cancer. But the
project got off, somehow or other. There seemed to be a ground
swelling of popular support that no politician wished to balk.
Humanity had been to the moon so long ago, they refused to believe
that with so much more technology and wealth they still
could not go to
Mars. It was a point of world-historical pride, they refused to be
the generation that did nothing and got nowhere, lost between their
parents and children.
The researchers did not quite
get used to the gravity. They had to relearn how to walk rather than
jump, and toss rather than hurl, but it was noted that the less
strain on the body the better. The G could serve as a new relief for
the elderly of frail frame, and the morbidly obese of far too unfrail
a frame. Food still went down the researcher’s throats, blood
still reached their toes, there was no reason why humanity could not
adjust to a lighter load.
As one of their most important
tasks, the scientists charted out the amount and locations of water
on the planet. Though the bubble could recycle almost all the water
that stayed inside it, it was far too expensive to lug Earth’s
oceans some millions of miles and dump them on Mars. They also
charted out the locations of useful minerals, such as iron, nickel,
and zinc--trace resources necessary for the survival of humans.
There were far fewer heavy metals on Mars than Earth, but in some
places there were concentrations enough. The soil, obviously, was
not suitable for plants, so air filters were used instead. But the
researchers succeeded in manufacturing soil from organic soup and
cultivating plants based upon it. Plants manage to grow virtually
anywhere, much to the consternation of bubble farmers who hoped to
never see a weed again. But this same tenacity was reported with
worldwide rejoicing, when displayed in a small lot on a foreign
planet. When the mission ended a year later, the plants having
received enough light, and the humans not having received too much,
the new bubble was declared a success. It was left behind as a
monument of Kilroy’s having been even here. But also, possibly
just maybe, as a staging ground for those who wished to follow.
The expense was enormous.
Nobody hoping to make their fortune had any intention of going to
Mars. Good old Earth still unearthed a seemingly endless supply of
resources for all that crawled over her. But there were groups of
people who pooled their resources, a million here funding the trip of
a thousand there. Perhaps, they held out the hope, an improvement in
space flight would allow them to follow. With a lifespan averaging
one hundred years in the civilized world, it was not uncommon to live
through at least a few scientific watersheds. If not, at least they
had the consolation, that a thousand did
go. How many
millions of people will give their lives and fortunes to see just one
of their family--a cousin, a daughter, a nephew, a niece, be happy?
How many millions have always given everything for some few blessed
thousand to make their way in the world? There is no overestimating
the goodness of people’s hearts. Humanity has not changed from
being human with the invention of the bubble. Sometimes love means
giving up your own job so that your spouse can pursue theirs.
Sometimes love means bicycling the first leg of the race, and letting
the stronger cyclist draft you. Sometimes love means standing in the
first rank of the trenches and waiting to be shelled, so that the
second line of trenches doesn’t have to be. Love can demand
terrible things from you. And yet people do it. All of these
things. So how is it a wonder, that love enabled millions of people
to give up their hopes for the hopes of a few thousand others, when
it has given so much more so often before? The challenges of
colonization were enormous, but so were the hearts of those first
settlers.
Mars
could not support nearly as many people as Earth’s billions, it was
never meant to. Mars was seen as the haven for people, not in search
of resources or space, but that oh so precious ineffable word, that
so many have left home for before. Mars was colonized by bubbles,
bubbles of communities, set forth with last tears and embraces by
greater communities, who left in search of freedom. There were as
many peoples as there were bubbles. And each people, finally on a
land free of any claim by anyone with a gun, for the first time in
their lives, took a deep breath and beheld for themselves that for
this moment--for this one tiny space of time before a flag was
flown--do as thou
wilt was the whole
of the law.
2. Wherein
the Reader is Introduced to Characters
Hitherto our history has
canvassed two planets and two centuries. In our rush, we’ve
forgotten characters, plot, setting, or dialogue. But fear not! Our
unorthodoxy shall not impose upon your tolerance any further. Just
one more paragraph, and the traditional features of our tale will
emerge. For reference, we hope to carry the bulk of this story with
three personages: Roland is our hero, Isolde our heroine, and
Lucinda our other heroine. Though you have our full permission to
substitute villain or villainess where your judgment might see fit,
hopefully their good features will reward them with the good will of
everyone, whatever conflict might arise between them. Roland and
Isolde are high school sweethearts, but a custom peculiar to Mars
presents them with the gravest danger their love has yet faced.
Lucinda finds herself in a different sort of danger which hopefully
the reader will not be able to relate to so easily.
Roland once again thanked Mars
for having a longer year than Earth. It was summer vacation, though
‘summer’, ‘winter’, ‘spring’, and ‘fall’, no longer
meant much. The temperature was no longer subject to seasonal
change, but it was found that all work and no play makes Jack a dull
boy, so summer vacation there would be. If people didn’t like room
temperature, they could use traditional methods of cooling and
heating within their own buildings. Restaurants and schools were
still always freezing, and stadiums were still far too hot for the
athletes within, but the extremes were gone. He had
been on trips with his family and his classmates outside, to
experience the beauty and terror of Nature first hand. He had, at
least, known what cold was really like, if not heat. The mountains
of Mars were obscenely high, the chasms ridiculously deep. Mars was
too dead a planet to regulate its features, like the tough governess
of Earth. Discipline was slack, rumbled threats were few, and so
Mars’ independent nature seemed to rise right out of the spirit of
the ground.
His family was not rich enough
to afford a trip to Earth. Besides, his body was too delicate for
it. A bright and shining champion of early adulthood, on Earth he
would have been a convalescent young children could have snapped in
two. Bodies were lazy, and upon finding themselves on Mars, they’d
given up on sufficing for anywhere else. At least communication
between the two planets was continuous, though slowed. The
mainstream media would broadcast all the news and television shows of
the day, and Mars would generally know about it the next day. That
wasn’t the only reason Martians held a fiercely independent spirit.
The expense of moving people and objects from Earth to Mars was such
that Mars’ economy of necessity had to provide for itself, and
though immigrants still streamed in, it was up to those already there
to provide for Mars’ population in any major sense. Especially
since the immigrants usually came in large bunches intent on setting
up a bubble of their own, Martians generally never knew people from
Earth personally, and it was hard to get them to care about what
happened there. It was enough, all Mars agreed, if Earth just left
them alone. Which carried a secret, slight fear, that they wouldn’t.
The fledgling economy could not compete with Earth’s productivity,
and only the natural tariff of shipping protected the jobs and
incomes of the people. The population could not compete with
Earth’s, which, by the way, was already past twenty five billion.
And obviously, since Earth had bigger, stronger, more populous, and
better supported armies than Mars could hope to fashion, they lived
at the mercy of Earth’s civility. That was why the Space between
the two planets was celebrated as the greatest feature Mars could
sport. If Martians were Romans, they would have given Space its own
altar, temple, and statue as public benefactor and protector.
Roland,
you see, actually knew about the customs of the Romans, and the
situation of Mars. He was eighteen years old, and for fourteen of
them he had buried himself in books. So don’t be so quick to claim
that the story has reneged on its promise of characters. Characters
can reflect on the situation of their countries as well. In fact,
the characters in this story, it may be said, reflected more on the
state of their countries than almost any character in any story,
factual or fictional. You’ll see the why and how of it by and by.
Suffice to say, Roland, after thanking the geography of Mars for
giving him a longer summer vacation, then thought for a moment about
how the geography of Mars reflected the spirit of the inhabitants,
and then on how that same geography tended to create that spirit.
Knocking on the door, he recalled why he had thanked the length of
summer in the first place.
“Hello, Isolde?” Roland
asked her little sister upon opening the door. She gave him a blank
look, then walked away. Roland wasn’t actually that good with
people, he wasn’t sure why he even had her,
so thought it fair enough that he didn’t have more. Then a
high-pitched shout. “Isoooollllde! Your boyfriend’s here!”
“Alright!” Isolde answered cheerfully. She appeared at the door
a moment later.
“Hi.” She smiled. She
had brown hair and hazel eyes and was beautiful. Martians were very
thin, by earth standards. They might have been a little taller, but
that was probably an illusion created by the proportion of height to
width. So imagine a waif, with eyes that dominated a face with sharp
cheekbones, arms and legs like white lines, collar bones and shoulder
bones and hip bones sharply standing out against a more flexible, and
thus far smaller, amount of fat and muscle. Readers from Earth will
have to accustom themselves to a slightly different type of beauty,
but Roland, at least, thought she was the paragon of it. She had
short hair, but still brushed her bangs aside out of reflex. She was
eighteen as well.
“Hi.” Roland smiled too,
hands in his pockets. “I thought we could take a walk.”
“Sure.” Isolde stepped
out beside him. Mars didn’t have much of an atmosphere, so Space
was a lot closer to its inhabitants. Since there were fewer people,
light pollution wasn’t as much of an issue, especially outside.
Together, it meant that people on Mars had a sight grander in scope
and beauty than Earthlings could ever know. But naturally they
didn’t even bother to look at it, unless as a pretext to also be
next to their loves. So as night drew on, and it became a little
cooler, and galaxies started shining overhead, the two walked the
quiet streets until it became the quiet rim. The Bubble had agreed
to leave the rim to nature, so that people could enjoy the ability to
live, and escape the cloister of noise and light and people, at the
same time. And walking miles and miles on Mars was not a big deal,
you might remember. It might be the same as ice skating on earth,
the ground glided beneath them, more than they walked across it.
Roland still had his hands in
his pockets, when he said the first word in a long time. “We’re
going on Tour in less than a week.” She looked at him as they
walked. “Outside half the time, alone together. And when we go
inside. . .it’s going to be so strange.”
“I don’t mind being alone
with you.” Isolde consoled him.
“I know. It’s not that.
I’m not worried about that.” Saying it three times might have
weakened Roland’s assertion more than if he had said it once. “But
the whole time I’m with you, all I can think about is I might not
be with you soon. The first time we’re so close for so long, and
there it will be, the Tour, keeping us further apart than ever.”
“Don’t think of it like
that.” Isolde said. “We all die eventually, does that keep us
apart? Just because we might move away, that shouldn’t keep us
apart now either.
Now is now, and now we are
together.”
“I’d just rather it would
mean more. . .I mean, it would mean more, if I knew it was going
somewhere. It feels so much more like a grand finale, blowing off
all the rest of the fireworks because it’s about to end. And
that’s just so sad. We’re sharing months together, in order to
spend forever apart.”
“We can’t know that. A
lot of people choose the same bubble as they grow up in. And if
we’re really such a great couple,” Isolde smiled, “then we
might choose the same other bubble too.”
“Are you dead set on any?”
Roland asked. Isolde compressed her lips and shook her head. “I’m
going on Tour to see for myself. With unclouded eyes. My future
self would never forgive me if I didn’t even try.”
Roland nodded. His own
thinking had followed the same course. But he was afraid, that if he
didn’t decide now, before the Tour, before the months with Isolde,
on theoretical grounds, in the heat of the moment he might decide the
bubble she chose, and deceive himself into thinking it was because he
preferred it, rather than preferred her. But he couldn’t say that,
because it would demean him in her eyes, that he could even possibly
do something so ridiculous. He didn’t like not telling her things.
Isolde was used to his
timorousness, it was part of his charm. He wasn’t trying to
impress her by being firm or confident about things he really wasn’t
firm or confident about. He was afraid of her, and it made her
smile. Afraid of looking stupid, by acting stupid, or saying
something stupid, so he stepped carefully, and spoke carefully, when
he was with her. It made him more thoughtful, and kinder, and more
attentive to the exact meaning and truthfulness of his words, with
her, than with anyone else. But it made for many quiet times, where
she had to wait for him to formulate his decisions so indecisively.
She had gotten used to interacting at his pace, and an intimacy of
hands in pockets instead of holding hers. Not because he was ashamed
to hold hers. But because he wasn’t sure he had the right to hold
hers right now, since he might say or do something she might not
approve of, and the gift of her hand might not be earned at the
moment because of it.
“I haven’t decided either.
A lot of places I just want to see, to understand what they’re
like. I doubt I could live there. Tyrol and Stradham, though,”
Roland’s voice became a little faster. “They look so beautiful.
They really stress education, and I might get away with being paid to
learn the rest of my life.”
“You know, there are more
ways to learn than education.” Isolde judiciously remarked.
“Yes, but, it’s my
way to learn.”
Roland said, and this decisively.
“And what if it only teaches
you a narrow range of things? What if you can’t learn what’s
important, no matter how much education you get?”
Roland shrugged, afraid he’d
offended her. “Then other people will learn the other things, and
at least I’ll know this. This is what I want to know.”
“I want to know what people
can’t teach.” Isolde took a deep breath, looking up at the
stars. “Like how to play a beautiful song that hasn’t been
played before. Or how to feel a love harmoniously with the rest of
my wishes and the rest of my loves. Or how people suffering can stop
suffering. I want to learn that, because obviously nobody knows, or
they wouldn’t be
suffering.”
Roland smiled, because she was
beautiful and bright and pure. He could have called her on wanting
to learn love, when supposedly they already knew it. But he didn’t.
Because if she said she didn’t know it yet, saying she did would
be false, and stupid, because she knew her feelings better than he
could. And it would be stupid, to only care about that, when she
cared about the others too. It would be showing he didn’t care
about the rest of her, to respond only to that. So he didn’t
respond at all.
“So you’re not worried?”
He finally asked.
“Roland, I’m not worried.
Because you’re a good person. And whatever decision we make, I
know it will be the right one. Because between two good people,
nothing bad can happen. Remember? You’ll love me either way,
won’t you? And won’t I love you either way? Together or apart,
we’ll choose that because that will make us happier, not because we
don’t love each other. And since we’ll choose what makes us
happier, whatever we choose, we’ll be happy. Because we’re happy
right now, and whatever we choose will make us happier than now,
because we’re free to choose whatever we want, even just staying
with this. We can only go up, don’t you see? The Tour is
wonderful. This chance is amazing. And being with you the whole
time is amazing. This is going to be the best moment of my life,
until tomorrow!” And her eyes sparkled alongside her words. “As
long as we’re choosing our future, it has
to be better than
our past. Ach, how I love Mars.”
On Mars, each bubble was a
law, culture, and belief-system unto itself. Each bubble was the
absolute dictator of its destiny. And the very practice of the Tour,
which kept a steady flow of immigrants and emigrants going to the
places they preferred, ensured that the uniqueness once established
was also maintained. After graduating from school and gaining adult
status, Martians left on Tour to make their choice of life, or at
least, their first choice of life, until they changed their minds.
A choice of life not imposed by force, the common standard of earth.
But by free implicit contract, as they could always leave, and there
were enough bubbles that one or another had
to be pretty near any individual’s own ideal. More were emerging
every day, for those who didn’t find anywhere to fit. And for
those who didn’t even fit after that, there was space enough for
bubble hermits to strike it out as alone as their own wishes. This
was the defining reason why Martians were individualistic. And it
was so defining, prevalent, and obvious, that it entirely escaped the
notice of the Martians themselves.
With Roland and Isolde’s
danger at least partially allayed, our readers might be more worried
about the unknown peril that grips our third character. Her name is
Lucinda, if you recall. And time was conveniently frozen, until we
could get around to narrating how she managed.
Lucinda cursed Mars for having
a longer day. It meant there were more hours of darkness, during
which time pretty sixteen year old girls walking alone were seen as
free game. Her mother had placed her on the corner in the evening,
and warned her that she would not be welcome until dawn at home, and
could expect no food unless she returned with money. She had cried
and begged for mother not to leave her, and been slapped and told to
stop just thinking about herself. Lucinda was sixteen, and she was
running away. Not without the worst turmoil in her soul. Her
mother, she knew, was desperate, not cruel. Home included one mother
and seven children, the last five being her half-siblings from a
second marriage, and two fathers who had abandoned mother in turn.
Mars generally had large families, as it was almost instinctual for
people surrounded by so much empty wilderness, to attempt to fill it.
Children were an asset, on Mars, because labor was always in demand.
It was different on Earth: For every useful employment there were
twenty highly-trained applicants for it, and in order to employ
everyone, most employment could not even imagine to itself what use
it had. But here, there was work needed everywhere to build up the
infrastructure of one city after another, to mine, farm, delve for
water, manufacture, serve, educate, police, or preach. Everything
had to be built up anew on Mars, as everything except entertainment
was cheaper to make than import. As for entertainment, Martians
sniffed and explained they were too busy to make a business of
leisure, but more likely they couldn’t compete with an import that
could travel as cheaply and quickly as light, and had of all human
enterprises been honed to perfection by the Blues. As more surplus
wealth was generated by productivity, and less work was needed to
produce it, entertainment was the spigot that gave rich people
something to do with their money, and poor people something to do to
earn a living. Imagine whole generations of children growing up and
striving to outdo each other at finding some unique new
entertainment, as other jobs that required skill rather than
originality were saturated with the doggedly living older
generations, and you can imagine at what a competitive peak of
brilliance entertainment must have reached. But enough of this.
Children were an asset on Mars, and large families a cultural norm,
some mothers reaching thirteen or even nineteen children, which to
Blues may sound absolutely impossible, but was not uncommon
throughout most of their own history. Unfortunately Mother’s
children weren’t
an asset, at least not yet.
Lucinda was the second eldest,
her older brother, trying to make it big to help mother, had
disappeared a few years ago. That left her as the only one Mother
hoped to make money with. The rest were just hungry. At least, it
could be thanked, it was not so cold that clothing or shelter or fire
added to the bills, any cast-out rags would do, and even with food,
Mother could have thanked herself that less was required on this
soil. If you were going to be poor, this was the better planet for
it. So Lucinda had to ask herself, the first few minutes she stood
on that corner, if it was her duty to continue doing so. And if some
customer had approached her then, Lucinda’s life might have taken
an entirely different turn. Happily, at least we judge, after a
short debate, Lucinda decided it was not. Unhappily, such a decision
presented a new host of difficulties, which she, at 16 and totally
unprepared for this crisis, went through her brain over and over, in
a circle of logic she could not escape, and had no solution. She had
no money, and no real skill she could hope to earn money by. Even on
Mars, technology had progressed to the point that knowledge was
absolutely essential to the employed, and it was not uncommon to
spend 25 years of a life, learning how to make a living of the next
75. There were jobs which did not involve computers or machinery,
such as daycare, but they did not hire 16 year old girls like
Lucinda. She could go into business herself, like her brother had,
but that was the most desperate and shortest-lived solution.
Competition was not appreciated in the drug trade, and she had no
idea where to start. Her mother, it seemed, had rightly concluded
what field of work alone Lucinda could hope to make money by. But
she refused to do it. She vowed to herself, that if the choice were
truly between prostitution and death, then death it would be. The
problem with being outside at night, was that death was becoming more
and more probable. The later into the night, the more dangerous it
became, as people left the bars, night clubs, drug dens, bordellos
and casinos, and started wandering through the streets like vampires
and werewolves, ready to set upon the first comer-by their frazzled
minds might impulsively wish to set upon. Lucinda walked faster and
faster, in search of a place to hide. In short, so as not to confuse
the reader, this bubble was a black hole of vice. It allowed every
sort of voluntary self-destruction, and drew the line only at the
absolutely necessary to survive forbidding of theft and murder. The
economy relied fundamentally on sucking all the human refuse on the
planet into its clutches, where they were allowed to throw away all
their money drinking, whoring, inhaling, injecting, gambling, or
otherwise verbing themselves. When they ran out of money, and were
unfortunately still alive, they attempted to earn it back by
providing the same goods to others, freshly arrived for destruction,
which led to constant wars between the established providers and
those seeking to become providers, so that they could again provide
for themselves. Chained to the bubble that destroyed them by their
addictions, they would endure anything for the freedom to suffer.
The whole bubble would have sunk under if people didn’t keep
coming, but somehow there were always more, many who went to the
‘nice’ district where they could dabble in whichever sin they
pleased, before returning to their home bubbles. The other bubbles,
whose only shared law, one might say, was the free immigration and
emigration of all to all, more and more forbade all such activities,
pointing out that any who wished could go to this one, and return
satiated when they wished to be good again. And as the doers always
found it simpler to travel, rather than risk incarceration, losing
their jobs, and public disgrace and loss of reputation, the whole
population of Mars ensured the greatest success for their
somehow-universally-agreed-upon-chthonian-human-landfill called El
Dorado.
Except for Lucinda. For
Lucinda, and all the other children growing up alongside her, and all
of her siblings she was leaving behind, all it ensured was ruin.
Crying, and humming to herself to try and keep her mind from
panicking, she at last found herself, without having even thought of
it, at the airlock to the outside. The official who oversaw all the
inflow and outflow-mainly concerned with providing for the safety of
the outflowers too blown to provide for their own-had seen so much
garbage and filth in his life, that seeing her gentle, shaking body,
pierced him through.
“Are you alright, miss?”
For even on this bubble, a pretty girl immediately earned a certain
amount of deference. Lucinda looked up, wiping tears from her eyes,
startled to find herself here. She looked at him like a frightened
deer, questioning whether it should freeze or bolt.
“What’s wrong? Would you
like to call someone?” Lucinda shook her head. “I’d like to
go out, please.” This was the first time she knew she wanted to.
“But. . .alone? . .how old
are you? Where are you going?” She shook her head. “Am I not
allowed to go out whenever I want? Can’t I just want to go out?”
“Of course you can.” The
man quickly retracted, embarrassed. In another age, the question
might have been similar to, ‘Can I not pray to our Lord when I
please?’ And he felt similarly sacrilegious to have interposed.
“Will you take a suit, or rent a car?” She looked at him for a
while, then burst back into tears, having just realized she could not
afford either. The man looked at her for a while, and then did
something strange and unaccountable, which was to make a decision for
himself, rather than as an official. “A car, then.” And he
placed the order for its rental. “Please travel safely. You may
return it at the entrance of any other bubble.”
Lucinda nodded. Cars drove
themselves, now, following satellite networks that directed traffic
between the bubbles. The important ones, at least. All she had to
do was insert a destination. She decided that the bubble furthest
away from here would do. Then she decided that might be easier to
trace. So decided the bubble eight furthest away from here would do.
Not that she was being chased. She just felt like she was. “Thank
you.” She stepped into the car that had been summoned, and the
bubble closed over her and left the gate. And it was a credit to the
human race, that even here, the man felt amply rewarded for his
service by those two words.
3. Wherein
a Plot may begin to be Construed by the Attentive Reader
You might be wondering why our
characters only have one name. The answer is quite simple, while on
Earth three names and two numbers was barely enough to separate one
person out distinctively, on Mars a single name was entirely
sufficient to create an individual. If their names seem somewhat out
of the ordinary, it can be excused by the fact that everyone on Mars
had to be extraordinary, to be on Mars. Mars, it may be recalled,
was settled by the out of place, eccentric, disenfranchised, fringy
folks of Earth, in search of freedom and independence. The settlers
were also generally cut from a different fold of humanity, being the
wealthiest, or being supported by a great number of people, so
perhaps the most beloved, on Earth; as those were the only people who
could afford to escape. Also, the people of Mars were most decidedly
the most self-centered, mind-your-own-business,
good-fences-make-good-neighbors, stamp and mold. People interested
in the welfare, conquest, conversion, or exploitation of humanity
stayed on Earth, as that was where humanity lived. Only the people
who couldn’t care less about others, their own economic prospects,
or the fate of mankind, at least in the short run, saw fit to abandon
the land of plenty to live in a wasteland. Perhaps the poor would
have done better in Mars, but they’d never be able to reach it.
And those who could afford it, were already well off enough, to not
be going to Mars for any economic purpose. This made for a
population and spirit quite different from humanity’s at large. It
is to be confessed, that those seeking freedom from Earth, did not
share the general beliefs and values of Blues, such that adherents to
the major religions were few and far between. Nor were there as many
adherents to the common political systems. Common mores. Or common
anything. If the reader may become doubtful of our history, on
account of it not matching the reader’s own experiences, take heed
to the peculiar circumstances Martians occupied. And if, God forbid,
you might condemn the unnaturalness of the anarcho-relativist Martian
society, and consign it to a moral oblivion better to simply wash
your hands of, take pity on characters who by all accounts wish to be
good, and hope to learn how to become so, within the society they
have been placed by accident only of birth, through no fault of their
own.
When Lucinda woke up, at first
she thought she was still at home. Only gradually did her eyes
convince her how far away she’d gone. Depositing her rental car,
she found herself in Blacksburg. No person greeted her at the
entrance. In fact, she was not sure if any people were actually in
the bubble. Stretching all the way to the horizon, she saw a
menagerie of birds and beasts, of beautiful plumage or coats. At
least none were predators. They were actually bubbled off, along
with jungle animals, and the most extraordinarily expensive of all
sea bubble, full of the most exotic sea life the earth had come up
with in the past four billion years. The people who lived here, few
and far between, gardened, fished, hunted (only licensed citizens of
Blacksburg were allowed to hunt, and only at the direction of the
council, who decided when it was expedient to limit the population of
this or that animal, which was disrupting the balance of the
ecosystem), hiked, and most of all cultivated all the life they had
brought with them, and sold life to their fellow bubbles, and kept
Tour guides for all those who wished, if not forever, at least for a
little while, to get back to nature. They were very rich and very
happy. Their ancestors had left Earth, taking fertilized eggs and
seeds of every life-form on earth, to Mars, where they devoted
themselves to saving their fellow species that Earth in its gobbling
tide of humanity was steadily wiping out. In a reverse, the people
of Blacksburg saw themselves as the protectors and guiders of the
life around them, rather than their rulers. There were never enough
people of this sentiment to have their way on earth, too many hungry
and poor people had decided, “it’s us or them” and chosen us.
But here, where many bubbles had nothing but the spartan crops that
provided the subsistence and air of the bubble, those left over pined
for the songs of birds, the grace of deer, the fields of flowers.
There was such a small supply of other species, and such a smaller
need for their exploitation, that the place earth’s environment was
most respected and regarded, was actually on Mars.
Lucinda wandered a few miles,
her eyes as wide as she could dilate them, trying to soak all the
images in. Her city had believed neon lights were the epitome of
beauty. She had never seen true colors sculpted out of the earth
itself. She found fruit growing in various clumps, filled herself up
on berries, chased rabbits until she laughed and collapsed upon the
grass, tall and pringly and wet. Perhaps this would be best. She
could live without needing money, without seeing another person
again. She had developed a strong prejudice against people, for a
reason the reader may understand.
The best part about this
environmental haven, as well as all bubbles on earth, is the editing
people could employ with the selection of what they wanted to take
with them. All of the pests and bugs that annoyed humans were
quietly not allowed to immigrate with the boarders, and all of the
plants and people had been thoroughly sanitized so that nothing else
lived in or on them. Hereditary diseases still got to Mars, but
those who came, were not allowed to be infected with anything that
could not be wiped out, and all the random diseases like chicken pox,
measles, mumps, diphtheria, cholera, tetanus, typhus, influenza,
small pox, anthrax, lime disease, and the black plague were here
finally defeated by flight rather than fair combat. This was another
reason Martians did not return to Earth. Once and for all, humanity
had freed itself from the great majority of its suffering and death,
and they saw no reason to return to it. Even diseases that destroyed
pets, livestock, and crops, had been sealed off from the Red Planet.
Far more comprehensively and effectively than Earth, which, for all
its bubbling, did not have the advantage of being able to first
sterilize and sanitize the planet, before repopulating it.
“There you are!” A
relieved voice broke Lucinda’s grassy slumber. “It was
registered to a man, so it took us a while to figure out you were the
trespasser. What are you up to?” It was a kind question, assured
of her innocence, though still accusatory in a teasing way. “You
can’t just wander inside without checking in with the authorities.
What if you were a fugitive? Or a poacher? You could be here to
take our air, our water, our grass, and gone again. You have to
check in and check out!”
When he put it that way, it
did seem obvious. But where she lived, questions weren’t asked
about comers and goers, they were expected to be criminals. Just so
long as they forked over their money, they could come or go as they
pleased. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I didn’t see anyone
where I came in. I thought maybe nobody lived here.”
The man laughed. “A true
wilderness on Mars! Maybe someday, child. But for now, the world
has people, and so it needs laws, and so it needs people to enforce
the laws, and you are breaking all of them, so up you go.” And he
pulled her to her feet. There were no vehicles. He had walked to
her, and now was going to walk her back, to wherever they were going.
She bit the inside of her cheek. So naive. One day on her own and
she was already going to jail. She couldn’t live one day on her
own. It was just so pathetic.
“Please, sir, I didn’t
mean to steal anything. If you’ll just let me leave, I won’t
disturb your bubble again.” She gave him her best wide-eyed look.
“Oh? And how will you
leave, hmm? On some other guy’s tab you tried that look on? I
suppose I’m supposed to pay you off?” Chagrin. She hadn’t
thought of that part again. “What are you thinking? All on your
own without any money.” The gentle remonstrance was so different
from her stepdad. She couldn’t remember her own father. But her
stepfather would just shout at her to obey her mother, and leave it
at that. He wouldn’t even bother to shout his own orders at her,
it was all one to him whether she existed or not, but if there was
ever any trifle or delay or argument with the mother, he’d be there
in an instant, shouting at her to obey her mother. It was
practically the only three words he’d ever said to her. Tears came
back to her eyes, even though she didn’t want them. She couldn’t
stop. She missed her family. Or missed the family she was supposed
to have had. She couldn’t tell anymore. It just hurt.
“Don’t think crying will
get you off, either.” The guy briskly kept her in tow, not
noticing when her feelings had become undesigned. “Honestly. Give
a girl one cross word or one hint that she might have done wrong, and
they just break apart. Like you’re made of glass. So you’re
crying, how does that change anything? A crying criminal is still a
criminal. Should we let everyone go who doesn’t like being
caught?”
She shook her head, trying to
stop her tears. “I’m not trying to change anything. I just
can’t stop.” And a new sob went up her throat. He looked back,
worried. “Here, now, what’s this about? Nobody’s going to
hurt you. We’re just going to run you through the process. Check
you for warrants, give you a Tourist visa, and the rulebook for as
long as you’re going to stay here. If you like it here after a
month, you can become naturalized, and take up our way of life, and
if you don’t, well, there’s the road to the next bubble! That’s
just how it works. We can’t have people enjoying the effects
without contributing to the cause of the way Blacksburg works, or
else soon enough it won’t work anymore. We need willing hearts and
hands, not a horde of people who wander the prairie and sleep on the
grass. You see? We know you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the
aggregate-you we have to stop.”
She laughed. ‘Aggregate
you’ sounded silly. A smile took over, and she wiped away the last
straggling tears. “I’m Lucinda. What’s your name?”
“Richardetto. Lucinda’s a
pretty name, Lucinda.” She laughed again.
“You talk funny.” He
smiled, refusing to point out her own usage. “So Lucinda.” He
brought her attention. “What brings you, alone and penniless, to
our shores? I can’t help but think something’s not right.
Either you’re up to something, or something has been up to you, and
either way I’m here to protect you, see? But we can’t help you
if we don’t know what’s wrong.”
Lucinda walked quietly for a
while. “If I tell you, you might try to do something for my own
good, which I might not think is my own good.”
“Well, aren’t you a
regular thinker.” She blushed, annoyed. She was
sixteen, after all.
It’s not like she was five or something, and was to be commended
for completing a sentence. But to a middle aged policeman, who so
often dealt with such nasty people, her age and innocence together
brought her age down to about five. “But what makes you think we
would?”
“Because that’s what all
adults do.” She said flatly.
“Alright then, what makes
you think you shouldn’t follow our advice?” The accusation was
admitted without contest.
“Because you’d never
understand.” Just as terse.
“Especially since you aren’t
even giving us a chance.” Richardetto admitted again, but at least
this time conditionally, in defense of adults everywhere.
“Give you a chance, and if
I’m wrong, lose my
only chance? Or
not give you a chance, and give myself
a chance? Which
would you prefer?”
She bristled. It was nothing personal against him, but he was
suggesting a dangerous course of action, and she felt threatened by
it. If Lucinda said she was a runaway, they might make her go back.
And she would never go back. All that was left for her there was
dishonor and death.
“Well, when you put it that
way.” Richardetto sighed. Sooner or later she’d have to trust
someone, or the world would eat her from the inside out. But she’d
have to learn that herself. And it would have to be someone she
could trust, not an authority figure she had to fear. So he gave it
up for a bad job. He had to give up hopes of helping almost everyone
he associated with. It was the way of things.
Geneva was a bubble founded by
Christians fed up with the tolerant and condescending attitude
towards sin much of earth had adopted. Medical advances had cured
STD’s in the civilized world, and birth control was easy,
unobtrusive, and practically foolproof. So what, the world wondered,
was wrong with sex anymore? As life expectancy reached one hundred,
and sudden deaths such as car accidents and airplane crashes went to
nearly zero with the introduction of automatic computer control of
the traffic system, people smiled and prayed, “lord, give me
temperance and chastity, but do not give it to me yet.”
And that yet may
last all the way to their 70’s, until there was no longer any need
for it. As miracles never seemed to happen in the same place as
video cameras, however-so-many as were set up, God became more and
more distant from their daily lives. And God’s artillery, which
had enforced His commands so forcefully in the past; his plagues,
pests, lightning bolts, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, droughts,
floods, and blights; had all been variously mastered or marginalized
by human ingenuity. Not that anyone doubted God couldn’t blow up
the world, but these objects used to serve as types of God’s power,
and without them for sermons to point to, it was hard for laymen to
form any concrete idea of His force or influence in their lives. In
the past, Paul had been on a boat threatened by a storm to be
overthrown, and praying to the Lord, the sea calmed, and the seamen
came to believe. Now just imagine if Paul were being shipped to Rome
on a nuclear submarine, and a storm was brewed up. Whether it was
calmed or not, would the seamen have given any notice of it but a
short chuckle and slap on the back in appreciation of their own
superiority to the forces of nature-or supernature working through
nature? Even theologians were perplexed as to how exactly God could
get to
the sinners, without overthrowing the laws of physics, or help
the saints, whose main worry was getting a job and providing
handsomely for themselves and maybe a child or two, pecuniary goals
the Lord might not be able to promote, having preached directly
against them. When everyone had this day their daily bread, and God
was against people wanting more, what rewards were left to His
distribution in life?
Obviously there was still good
old Heaven and Hell. But that was so long in the future, that only
the old-timers worried about it, at an age where sin was pretty
difficult to achieve even if they wanted. Besides, a lot of people
who in their daily lives did not see executions of entrails being
torn out or horses ripping bodies apart running in opposite
directions or heads mounted on spikes atop the city walls, who
generally went through life not seeing suffering, like the fable of
Buddha, were not really aware of the possibility of it, and could not
possibly condone an eternity of it, for whatever little fault someone
might have had. Even mass murderers, if given the death penalty,
were killed quietly and without pain and in private. It was hard to
imagine God, who was supposed to be far more merciful and forgiving
than Man, would then bring out pincers and tongs and go to work with
him from there. The idea of justice had changed, softened, and
become tempered with the idea of humaneness, leaving Hell behind.
The prosperity, security,
longevity, and technological strength of the civilized world all
combined to jeopardize the emotional grip of Christianity on its
adherents, even though most continued to agree with its intellectual
stance. Yes, they would all nod on Sunday, but no longer could they
be related to spiders hanging from a single thread over a great fiery
pit, without a general smile, of people reflecting on how safe and
well off they were, and how many years they still had ahead. The
passions were
no longer there to feed the beliefs, which made many people who
believed, not care.
It was a sort of side note, a, by-the-way, of their lives, with no
practical application.
This might be very ill-taken
and distressing to you, but we plead the fault of the times, not the
people, that such a thing had happened. And at least you can take
consolation, that the inhabitants of Geneva found it equally
distressing, which was why they had left to found a community that
still involved God intimately with their lives, and shunned sinners
and sin. And who knows, many times Christians have had a sense of
Christianity weakening, and many times before reformations and
revivals and awakenings have brought it back. Whatever happens, God
will surely not let his Word die out among His children, so you may
comfort yourself with the prospect that this was only a momentary
lull, and the wind of belief would blow again when He saw fit.
And as further proof of the
fault of the times, neither Roland nor Isolde were Christian at all.
Nor Jewish, nor Muslim, nor Hindu, Buddhist, Zoroastrian, Taoist,
Confucian, nor anything. Though perhaps they felt spiritual things,
and thought spiritually about things, it was all too vague and
doubtful for them to commit to a faith. This was not extraordinary,
especially on Mars. Just as they were taught that only an actual
witnessing of the different bubbles could equip them for a choice of
life, they were taught to reserve judgment on all things religious,
until actually witnessing the truth of them. At 18, barely the
infancy of their lives, it would have been ridiculous, all agreed, to
ignore the experience and wisdom of the next 82, which might have led
to a better conclusion, and artificially cut themselves off from all
progress or improvement in their thinking, when they’d barely
started thinking at all. It might be said Roland and Isolde were the
very people the Genevans had tried to separate from, but a month was
given to all who wished to visit, before they could be compelled to
adopt their way of life, or leave. That was the rule spontaneously
agreed upon by all the bubbles. Anyone (except fugitives) could
leave at any time, and anyone (except fugitives) could enter for a
month.
“Here you are, sir.” The
Genevan clerk handed Roland the groceries. Fresh fruit, vegetables,
and bread, which Isolde planned on transforming into magical
concoctions of goodness. And on the sly, a steak. Which Roland
planned to put on a stove until it smoked and sizzled to half its
size, leaving only charcoal behind, which had a magical goodness all
on its own, and eat in his own room. The neat thing about these
groceries, was that the fruit and vegetables really were
fresh. The food
was grown right inside the bubble, there were no pesticides, and
there was no need for preservatives, as the intake of crops was
proportioned to the needs of the population, and made right there.
And there were no seasons, just greenhouses, so any crop could be
grown at any time. As to the steak, just as neatly, it didn’t come
from a cow grazing in some meadow nearby. First off, there was no
meadow. It was pretty much red rock, with a layer of bubble on top.
Inside the city there were trees and such, and the crops, but beyond
that, nobody was going to go through the effort of growing ‘wild’
trees and grass. The landscape was
wild, and beautiful in its lonely way, and it was alright if it
stayed that way. The steak was grown from itself. They fed it
nutrients, and its cells kept undergoing mitosis, until poof, steak.
Not a t-bone steak, or a ribeye, as it didn’t need bones anymore.
But a new york strip as fine as any a cow could be eviscerated for.
Not only did this save resources, space, and time, it was one more
part of the softening human nature, that they no longer daily
slaughtered and cruelly treated other living, feeling, thinking
beings out of hunger. Vegetarians had never convinced the
meat-eating world to stop because of this, but technology did. And
now, even meat eaters would have been appalled by such senseless
suffering, in anything.
Roland would have shared a
room with Isolde, normally. Even a bed, if they were feeling good
about each other. But not himself. A love on such unsure fitting as
theirs, the Tour to determine its fate actually underway, neither
felt such a commitment could be made, or if made, kept, without
perhaps such sacrifice as to tarnish the commitment forever. And for
those of you who don’t feel it is a commitment, you’ll just have
to accept that they thought otherwise. However, Geneva took that a
couple steps further, and would not have a man and a woman kissing
out of wedlock, under their bubble. They weren’t going to let
things slide down a slippery slope, or give the Devil any more tools
of temptation than he already had. They were saved, and intended to
stay saved,
and visitors were not going to jeopardize that. Whatever bubble a
traveler was under, that was the law, and to not follow it was a
crime. There were no excuses, because they could always leave, if
they didn’t like it. The social contract was unarguably compacted
by the full consent of the parties, under no duress, and it would
be enforced. There
was no drinking, not even coffee. The body is the temple of the
soul, and it was held sacred and inviolate, just as though it were
the altar itself. It was not a list of ‘don’ts’ that kept
Genevans from smoking, sleeping around, or inhaling. It was this
reverence for themselves, which honored their immortal souls, made in
God’s image, too much to enslave it to worldly goods, merely
combinations of dust and air. A love of God, which was reduced to a
love for God’s work, and God’s will, gave these people the
strength to align their own will to it, and away from the desires
that so often make it stray. And, obviously, the effect of a
community that attached praise and blame strictly to those who
followed God’s path, did not leave much opportunity or much triumph
for those who did stray. Only when all of these motivations failed
did the
law enter the equation, which mainly was the right to exile those who
did stray, but for some reason refused to stray with their feet
alongside their soul, and needed a helpful push out the door. It’s
an obvious contrast, between this and Lucinda’s home, but the very
fact that El Dorado existed, allowed
Geneva to exist, and the very fact that Geneva existed, assured
the existence of El
Dorado. Desire exists, there’s no getting around it, but it can be
put somewhere, and not put somewhere else, and so Martians did.
Which is not to say that a Genevan could not exist without a Doradon,
we will not do such a disservice to humanity, but that a Geneva
couldn’t exist
without a Dorado.
The attentive reader will see the difference.
Mars shared a currency, by the
way. The population was far too low, for each bubble to keep its
own, and the commerce of Mars was absolutely essential, seeing as how
it could not possibly have any with Earth, and the technological
level of Mars was at such a height that only a large population could
possibly sustain
an economy based on generating enormous surplus wealth to sustain an
enormous training period to give people the skills to create and
operate the technology which then generated the surplus wealth. And
this, correct,
meant that the government of each bubble could not willy-nilly
inflate the currency, or devalue it through excessive debt, or spend
too lavishly-this led to sanctions, which would lead to the ruin of
the bubble in the long run-but never reached the long run, because in
the short run the people of the bubble ran straight to another bubble
that still had a future and some common sense. So Roland actually
did pay the grocer. Oh, in case of confusion, there was a grocer,
because it was found that actual people needed to be in stores, or
else customers felt they could steal, as nobody could call them for
it, and there was no person they felt they were hurting, and could be
restrained by a sense of sympathy thereby. There was
another
solution-but that’s in another bubble, which we’ve been saving
for our heroes to travel through, so we’ll leave it at that for
now.
Well, a page and a half to buy
groceries does seem a little verbose, so we will contain ourselves
and give Roland his main character role back.
Roland left
the grocery store, and whistled quietly as he carried the basket of
food back to the boarding house. Isolde had been shopping for other
necessaries, and they were to meet back up in time for dinner.
Isolde had cooked for him a few other times while they were dating,
but this was the first time he hadn’t been a guest of her family,
but the actual object of her endeavors. It made him feel so special,
and so blessed, so that he easily could have said grace before his
meals, as the Genevans did. Hunger wasn’t the best sauce. He’d
been hungry before, and food had never tasted as good as this.
Knowing he was loved was the best sauce he’d ever tasted, and it
transformed eating from a chore he attended to between books, to a
moment to be remembered, and smiled about at night, and looked
forward to during the day. It was amazing, that mere hours were
between those words, I love you, each day. So amazing, his heart was
full of happiness, and refilled, before it ever had a chance to
leave. She made everything in life a source of joy. Eating sleeping
shopping washing cleaning driving breathing.
All of it was somehow connected to her, and his feelings for her,
and her feelings for him, and his feelings for their feelings, so
closely that it could not be done without rejoicing over them. He
was young and he loved Isolde. They loved each other. And if it
doesn’t sound believable, that feeling in the pit of your stomach
that makes it tighten up on its own, and makes the blood rush to your
face and your eyes lower and your lips smile of their own will, then
just have faith that it happens, until it does happen for you, and
then you will believe, and smiling for Roland’s happiness, also
smile for your own.
Not being christians, they
never intended to stay here, nor would they have been allowed to.
However, Roland saw in them much to be admired. The quiet pride they
took in themselves, and the devotion in their families, which were
reserved for their families throughout their lives. The cleanliness
of the city and people, and the children who wandered the streets
without fear. Buildings without broken windows or peeling paint, no
run down areas full of run down people. No playgrounds full of
loiterers or parks full of drunkards. Why, Isolde couldn’t even
complain of lazy eyes since they’d gotten here, though there were
pretty faces and hair enough, there wasn’t makeup and jewelry and
enough skin to simply broadside him with. Their bodies were their
temples, in the image of God, if it was not beautiful, what was? If
it was not perfect, how could dirt improve it? If it was not a
beauty so bright and special that only love could match the value of
its gift, then why even worship its Creator? It was that pride
again. It was everywhere in them. Even the insistence on calling
each other sir and ma’am. They felt they deserved it. By being
there, it pretty much meant they did. They had gone to Church that
week, a beautiful building that soared above the rest. The sermon
was about the divine mission humanity had been given, upon leaving
the garden: to grow fruitful, and multiply.
“Five words He gave us, five
words befitting a God. He wished for us to grow, and see how we have
grown. To grow fruitful,
and see the fruit of our souls! Look upon our fruit, and bless the
Lord for it, these beautiful children. But a fruit is not just a
seed, a fruit is many times larger than a seed, because every
seed needs a fruit to grow.
Fruit tastes wondrous, smells wondrous, looks wondrous, it even
blooms into every color, so brightly, as though rejoicing in itself.
God wished us to grow fruitful.
And what is the fruit of our seeds? What feeds all our souls, what
gives us such beauty and such joy and such energy for our seeds to
grow? Will we be misers in our gratitude? Will we say of God, he
gave us seeds, but not fruit? He gave us hard cores, but not soft
edges? Is there not more creation than life to thank God for? God
gave us life, and God gave us that
which makes life worth living.
And God gave us the command, grow
fruitful! Seize
what makes life worth living! Love what makes life worth living!
Grow what makes life worth living! Grow love! Grow beauty! Grow
truth! Create! Here is the universe! God has given it to us. Here
are our souls! God has given them to us. Will we not glorify them
both? Will we not worship these stars that shine down their light?
These souls that weave the light into wheels and pulleys and wedges
and planes and stories
and storytellers
and story-hearers?
Grow fruitful, enrich your soul, the wealth is all there! A free
gift from God to all his children, simply to be picked up, simply to
be loved and admired, all we need is the will, all He asks of us is
our will. And multiply! Yes, there are our children again, there
are the points of light spreading, spreading, setting the world on
fire, making dust shine with divinity. Blue dust. Now Red dust.
What is Mars but the greatest fulfillment of our mission of all? Red
dust-and why not someday stardust? Be fruitful, and multiply, and
let this light keep reaching, reaching, sending light into the void,
more and more light, until it shines and shines, so much that they
shower upon each other, so many sparks that the fire never fades.
Grow fruitful with all that makes life worth living, then live.
Is there any command more wondrous, more divine, more sacred, more
pure, more loving, more kind-any duty imaginable, that better suits a
God? And is there any role greater, more honorable, more fulfilling,
more noble, then obeying such a God? Then believe! Believe in God.
Believe in the souls He’s crafted. Believe in the goodness of this
universe his creation. And believe
in his Will, that it is Good, and we are Good to follow it. And
then we will sing as the angels, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord.”
And it will be a song for Him, and for ourselves.” The preacher
had seemed to shrink back down to half his size with the last word.
He was breathing shortly, almost quivering with the force of his own
thoughts. And he was flushed with that very belief, he glowed with
it, in front of his flock. And in a moment they were all upon their
feet, and applauding with all their hearts, eyes gleaming with tears,
cheeks flushed with enthusiasm, parents and children so full of joy
and love and appreciation for all that God had made, that Roland and
Isolde had found themselves clapping just as much-and wanting so much
to believe-and maybe even for a moment believing, somewhere inside
themselves, for such a feeling could not be seen without it
conducting like electricity from the preacher’s fervor to their own
hearts, and felt for themselves. That was for a moment, and then
they had filtered out with the crowd, and eventually the sheer charge
of it was grounded by their shuffling feet against the ground. But
the memory of the charge did not leave.
4. Wherein
the Reader finds the Bubble Promised, and the Haven Found.
Isolde stared at herself in
the mirror, carefully brushing her hair out and placing it in correct
order. Then she put some red into her lips and cheeks, and covered
up blemishes. She didn’t use eye shadow, poking her eye out wasn’t
the best way to start a day, and besides it just looked ugly. To
her, eyes were the focal point of beauty in a person, and disrupting
that focus with a bunch of artificial black or blue was just a waste.
Besides, eyeshadow carried with it a sort of message she didn’t
want to send. Not like, “hey I’m a hooker.” But some vague
gaseous form of that message, which no one would accuse her of, but
everyone would maybe lean towards. Her face was fair game though.
There was no reason to look worse than you could, especially when
nobody could even tell it wasn’t natural. Especially when all the
other
girls got to look better, and not
wearing makeup
would just be competitive suicide. She knew Roland wasn’t going to
ditch her for a girl who wore more makeup, but the competition was
more than that. It wasn’t just his loyalty, it was his attention.
And it wasn’t just his
attention. It was
the attention of the rest of the crowd, even the rest of the girls.
She would feel awful, if nobody looked at her in a crowd. Like she’d
been found guilty of some horrible crime. It would be the same sense
of shame and humiliation. She didn’t value herself by the amount
or popularity of girl friends who traveled in her pack. After all,
she had chosen to take her Tour with Roland, not a Tour group, or a
clique. She didn’t want people to come up and talk to her or find
new friends. She just wanted to be appreciated, as quietly as just a
look, or nod, or long blink. Roland, oblivious as he was about
everything, didn’t even notice any change in her appearance at
Geneva, but it still rankled her a little. It was almost a cleansing
ritual, to go through this, and she felt out of sorts so long as she
couldn’t go through it. She rinsed her mouth out with a peppermint
tasting wash, and sucked in a long breath to appreciate the smell and
feel. Dental care had become easier and more pleasant with one of
those endless little refinements the centuries had given to increase
our general comfort. People didn’t wear glasses or contacts
anymore either, corrections were made on the fetus itself, by careful
insertion or deletion of the culprit genes. Genetics hadn’t made
everyone blonde haired and blue eyed. But it had
cured baldness and blindness. Another one of those little gifts to
mankind.
They’d left Geneva a few
days ago, and taken a roundabout way to Tyrol. For them, the Tour
wasn’t just a chance to see the cities, it was a chance to see the
planet. They’d hiked down a canyon deeper than the deepest on
Earth, and looked up and up and up, trying to find the sky again.
Except the sky wasn’t blue. They didn’t make pictures out of
clouds. Or sneeze from having too much sunlight at once, as the Sun
had already set, and wasn’t all that bright out here anymore
anyway. They lay on their backs, looking up at an ocean of stars.
More stars and brighter than anyone on earth has seen. So many that
she felt like she could have reached up and scooped out a handful of
them, and watched them fall back into space like sand. Roland had
said something about how it always made him sad, looking at the
stars, knowing that they were all dying. That the whole universe was
dying, slowly but surely, burning itself out into more and more
darkness and cold. It made her sad too, when he said it. But she
refused to see it that way. For the stars to be dying, they had to
be living,
didn’t they? Couldn’t they think about how much light and heat
they had, how bright and warm space was near them, how many weird
plants and fungi and animals must be living off of them, and maybe
looking into space at the same time. . .maybe looking right back at
them, imagining them living near the sun? She smiled. Roland was
always so dreary just because he liked it when she cheered him up.
She was sure of it. But then, she liked Roland voicing her doubts
and fears, so that she could confront them and overcome them, and
then they would leave, as the bravado she put on for his sake became
convincing enough for her own sake too.
“Isolde? Are you about
ready? The Spindle is opening in an hour.” For answer, Isolde
opened the door. “Good morning.” She smiled, happy to display
her new and improved version since Geneva. He replied in kind,
sneaking into the bathroom himself. She bit her cheek in annoyance.
Cursed if he had even looked at her twice. Well, she supposed some
needs trumped others sometimes. She got a glass of orange juice,
made straight from crushed oranges, and a plum, and interchanged the
sour and sweet until they were both gone, waiting for him to be
ready. There were no real ‘attractions’ one went to in a Tour.
The Tour was a time to live as the natives lived, not to particularly
see or do anything. It was more a series of mindsets you were
expected to put on and take off, according to the ones presented to
you. To see how you liked it, and how it managed to work in real
life. You got as much out of the Tour as your own observation and
experimentation put in. But Roland had wanted to see the Spindle
from the beginning, the largest man-made structure on Mars. It was
the broadcaster and receiver of radio transmission between Earth and
Mars. There was so little atmosphere on Mars, that there was no need
to get outside of it, to send clear signals from satellites. Though
of course there were satellites, so that communication could get from
one side of Mars to the other, but they didn’t handle nearly as
much traffic as the Spindle. The city also sported the shuttle dock
for earth traffic. Shuttles did not land on Mars, then they would
have to escape the gravity well again. They docked at Demos,
unloading their cargo, including people, who had the singular
experience of riding down an elevator shaft that connected the moon
to Mars. It was lined with plastic, shielding it from cold, vacuum,
and contact with dust and the like. But all the air, water, and
solid objects made their leisurely descent from the space docks after
careful inspection into Tyrol, where they were packaged and
transported to their appointed place. Also at Tyrol was the nexus of
the computer network that coordinated all the automated traffic,
solar panels that powered Martian life (energy from wherever the sun
was at the moment was transported to wherever it was being used, so
that productivity did not end at sunset, and energy was not wasted in
storage), direct wave broadcasters (the short-range information
network, as opposed to satellites for long range), and recyclers, so
that if any malfunction in any bubble’s water or air occurred,
technicians would be notified at the bubble, and could solve it
before any lives were endangered. The power structure of Mars was
horizontal, not vertical, so Tyrol did not assert any such status as
‘first among equals.’ However, they were the technological and
import/export center of the entire Martian population, which depended
upon Tyrol for the complex lifestyle they took for granted. This led
to a corresponding vitality in Tyrol’s economy, as more goods and
services were produced here than anywhere else. It was not uncommon
for children going on Tour from the various other hamlets staying at
this metropolis, finding better prospects for wealth and comfort than
where they had grown up, so that Tyrol had a sort of sphere of
influence as ‘the city’ upon which the rest of the country looked
to for leadership-economically, that is, not politically. But being
the economic center, it above all had the best chance of becoming the
political in some distant future. A bubble would be in harsh
straits, if it went without the services Tyrol provided, which meant
Tyrol could potentially make demands of them, they would be hard-put
to refuse. This was a nebulous threat, however, as the character of
Tyroliennes did not support it. Like all Martians, they had come to
get away from politics and the rule of force, and were content to
live and let live, having escaped Earth in order to be free, not
conquer Mars. Future generations might not have thought the same,
but then, that’s always the case. Every community, every nation,
could fall, if the next generation did not support it. So Tyrol was
as little a threat as it could be to the rest of the free world, yet
produced the most good, as centralization of information and
communication was always the most efficient method of
systems-management humanity had grown so used to relying upon.
Centralization and specialization, you might have perceived, was the
natural course of every bubble, interacting with the others, as the
economics dictated. Too much was necessary for the standard of
living of the people on Mars, for any bubble to self-subsistently
provide to their citizenry. Though of course there were exceptions
of bubbles that wished for less, or isolated themselves further.
Mars was nothing but a place where you could find exceptions.
However, for the average colonist of Mars, the demand for a high
quality of living, coupled with the need for everything to be made
domestically to be feasibly affordable, was another link in the
diffuse network that upon first inspection looks to be an absolutely
divided population.
By now Roland had emerged from
his own morning rituals, and the two went to the car and inserted
their destination, the bubble too large this time to simply walk
around. As the car was zoomed at the speed that allowed for the
speediest movement of all the traffic in the city, it would quietly
accelerate or decelerate through the streets. The two took the time
to stare at the skyscrapers and the strange looking giant tube that
loomed over everything else, transparent as plastic was, constantly
ferrying in various people and products. Air, metals and other
elements not found on Mars were the main import. Also there were
gadgets nothing on Mars could make yet, requiring such incredible
capital to begin with, that only a few companies on earth had managed
to make a profit with. Everything the tube brought in, had attached
to it a price tag that would boggle the reader into a dazed
disbelief, so we will prudently not mention its exact amount. And as
Mars had little to nothing it could offer Earth but real estate, all
it received was either as charity from people of fellow-sentiments to
the colonists, or as payment for the right to set up their own
community. So long as there was a frontier, Tyrol’s prosperity was
assured. As the city was the conduit between Earth and Mars, in
material as well as information, its inhabitants were caught halfway
inbetween being a modern cosmopolitan Earth community, full of
various people of various wishes, and the homogenous and isolationist
bubbles of Mars, intent on fulfilling their own wishes. Which left
its laws as moderate as could be managed, allowing any law-abider to
become a citizen of Tyrol, rather than requiring that they adopt a
certain belief or work. Businessmen were wanted here. And
scientists. And engineers. And technicians. And programmers.
Anyone who knew something that could be employed into the making of
money was a Tyrolienne, as far as Tyrol was concerned.
Isolde didn’t know anything
practical. She could play the flute. She knew gymnastics. As a
child, flying through the air, managing dozens of flips before
reaching the ground, had been the highest euphoria, the happiness
which could not be matched or reached in any other way. She painted,
well enough to adorn her house’s walls, if not a museum’s. And
she’d learned well enough everything they taught in school. But
none of that could have earned her a penny, and a penny had been
inflated quite a lot. She hadn’t worried about money, trusting it
would come to her magically in one way or another. Her family was
well enough off, that money had never been an issue heretofore, so
she assumed it wouldn’t be hereafter. Tyrol was neat, but entirely
foreign to her. Nothing in it connected to her, or invigorated her.
Roland, she smiled to herself, knew a lot, but about such useless
stuff, as he couldn’t hope to make it a week in Tyrol. He would
have to realize this now. Just because a place emphasized knowledge,
didn’t mean it emphasized being knowledgeable. That was seen as
excess blubber that would interfere with the sleekly flowing
heart-pumping blood-flowing knowledge that powered the city. Here
above all places, the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, War and
Peace, The Spirit of Laws, Leviathan, and Plato’s Dialogues would
have been so many black marks against your name, rather than
admirable attachments to it. They might have put up with The Wealth
of Nations, and that she only conjectured.
“What’s that smirk for?”
Roland asked suspiciously. She only turned it into outright
laughter in response. Ach, Roland, you know everything and nothing
at once.
Lucinda emerged from her taxi
and entered New Haven. Considering its lineage, the city would have
been more fairly dubbed New New New Haven. But the name sufficed on
Mars, as nobody would confuse an address which ended with the name of
a separate planet. She looked through the transparent entrance
dubiously, as there were no structures inside it. Had she come to
the wrong place? Was this some ghost town, like those she had heard
about, that had been so screwed up that the people either left or
died out, leaving the empty bubble a testament to their empty ideals?
Or some ravaged victim of banditti, the bands of thugs that had no
home and no vision, save to loot and rape and burn anything they
could find weaker than themselves? If so, how would she survive, all
alone? The car had already zoomed away, not belonging to her, and
having other passengers to serve. Now she looked back mournfully,
wondering if she could still stop it. It was her last contact with
the rest of the world, she’d never live to see another! Working
the fear up in herself in this manner, it was to her greatest relief
to hear a human voice greeting her at the other side.
“Welcome, welcome. Welcome
to New Haven, young lady. If you would kindly give us identification
to run through our computer.”
She shook her head. “I
don’t have it. I. . .forgot it when I left.”
“Then your name, and bubble
of origin?”
“Lucinda. . .” Lucinda
broke off her thought. She didn’t want to name her bubble. Who
knew if there was some sort of missing persons list, and they would
drag her back? Could
they drag back a
missing person? She’d never heard of any treaty, but then, she
didn’t know much of anything about anything, there easily could
be one. So she
decided to ask. “Is there a law that would make people go back to
where they left from, if, say, they were reported missing?”
The man smiled at her
directness. “If there were any law that tied anyone to any bubble,
you can be sure we
wouldn’t follow
it. We didn’t fly ten million miles away just to be imprisoned
again.”
Her face brightened. “Not
even children? Not even runaways?”
“Only fugitives, and then
only if the crime is particularly heinous, and then only if we agree
to extradite them. Are you a hardened criminal?”
She blushed. “No.”
“Then you’re free.
Whatever reason, bad or good, that made you want to leave, you are
free to make it. Nobody will force you back.” She supposed she
should’ve known that, when the Blacksburg officials had cleared
her, and given her a visa. They’d adopted her to clean house and
bring meals to the wardens, which usually meant wandering through
fields of flowers and butterflies to wherever they might be dozing,
until she’d earned enough money to be okay when she left. She knew
she had been ‘paid’ far more than she deserved, but all she could
give them was gratitude. They had restored her from the deepest pit
of despair to peace and security so easily, when it had looked so
impossible for her to manage it herself. She still marveled over it.
People giving her money and clothes and food because they liked her.
How easy it was for them to give her things she could not have
earned no matter how hard she had tried. She knew there was
something disquieting about it, but she hadn’t figured out what.
She just knew there was some mental disparity or dissonance in what
had happened, and it had made her want to leave, even though she had
had nowhere to go.
“Richardetto?” She had
asked. “This sounds awful of me. But I can’t stay here. It’s
beautiful here, but. . . I can’t imagine myself living here. I
can’t imagine what I’d be good for. I’ve never even known
these plants and animals existed, much less felt passionately about
growing them.” He nodded. “So I’m asking you, as a friend,
where can I go that I could earn my living, where can I get by,
supposing I have absolutely no money to start with, and no skills?”
“Well. That’s a grim
supposition. You should have some
money and skills to
start with.” He remarked. “But if you must start somewhere. .
.I mean, if you just want some place to get by in until you can catch
your balance. . .then I’d say New Haven is the place to go.”
“Why? What’s in New
Haven?” She asked, attentive.
“Absolutely nothing.” He
smiled. She frowned. Making jokes about her future might be fine
for him, but she had to live it. Seeing her angry look, he quickly
explained. “That’s the trick. New Haven is minimalist. They
decided, they didn’t want to work, or make money, or have to pay
anyone for anything. And to do that, they decided they would go
without. Just that. Go without. They go without everything. So
what’s there is absolutely nothing.”
“Absolutely nothing?” She
turned the words around in her head, trying to fathom what it would
look like.
He nodded. “Absolutely
nothing.” Even repeated four times, it hadn’t prepared her for
her first sight. Surely absolutely nothing didn’t disclude
buildings.
. .?
“Miss?” The clerk waited
with infinite patience. No one was behind her, after all, and he
didn’t seem to have anything else to do.
“Oh! Sorry!” She blushed
again. “El Dorado. El Dorado is my bubble.” He nodded, typing
it in. A quick run-through of her personal file-he looked at her and
checked it against her most recent picture, decided it was really
her-then that she had no criminal record. That, in fact, she hadn’t
even been reported missing. Which, he decided, meant that no one
back home missed her, or that no one back home wanted to admit they
had lost her. As she certainly was
missing, to be
here, and wanting to stay away.
“Alright then miss. Welcome
to New Haven. The laws are don’t steal our water or air or rocks.
Don’t kill anyone. Try not to hit anyone. And, well, I can’t
think of the rest. So just use some common sense. If you don’t
follow the rules, somebody bigger than you will probably drag you
here, and we’ll decide what to do with you. And if you don’t
like it here, you can leave. But if you’re still here, you’re
being a good New Havonian, so don’t worry about being kicked out.
Staying here is pretty much all we settled folks do, either.”
She gave him an incredulous
look. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
Richardetto was right. It was
absolutely nothing. She looked pensively at the empty horizon,
biting her lip. “Are you sure there are people in there?” He
nodded patiently. “And what will I eat? Where will I sleep?”
“Oh, there’s food enough.
Food grows itself, after all. And there are never enough people to
out-consume it.”
“But how shall I cook it?”
“Oh, well, I guess if you
wanted to cook it, you could start a fire. . .I suppose there’s a
law against burning the whole place up, so try not to. . .but then,
why do you need to cook anyway?” The question flabbergasted her.
She couldn’t think of any reply.
“So I just gather nuts and
berries and. . .?”
“We planted all sorts of
fruits and vegetables. I’m sure you can find something you like,
somewhere.” He obviously didn’t know where.
“And then,” she asked,
eyes dilating in sheer awe, “I guess I just get some moss or reeds
and go to sleep at night?”
“That will do. There are
enough soft things of one type or another, I’m sure you can find
one you like, somewhere.”
“And that’s it?”
He nodded. “That’s it.”
She thanked him, and started
walking forward until he was out of sight. She thought about how
going downhill usually led to water, and started walking accordingly.
She would have to find water first of all. The bubble was kept
warm, warmer than she was used to even, but she blessed them for it.
It would rain, she realized, but the water would be warm when it
fell, so it would be okay even if she got wet. Maybe she could find
some trees to stay under. Her clothes would get dirty soon. And her
hair! How would she wash her hair? She would have to find a river
or pond for that too. But water couldn’t clean hair alone. What
else was in shampoo? She thought hard. Hadn’t she ever read the
ingredients on the back of a shampoo bottle before? Why hadn’t she
ever wondered what made shampoo? Maybe she could crush some berries
into her hair or something-wait, that would just make it stickier.
Sodium Benzoate? Was that in shampoo? Did that exist. . .? Why had
it popped into her head? Salt had sodium in it. How on earth would
she get benzoate? What was benzoate? Her eyes could not widen any
further with the sheer absurdity of the situation. But her feet
prudently kept walking downhill.
5. Wherein
the Reader Finds the Cure to Crime Aforementioned Near the End of
Chapter 4
Bubbles were made to rain, to
redistribute evaporated water that condensed at the top of the
bubble. Without storms, it would just continuously drip, each drop
choosing its own time to fall. And as that was a dreary and
unwelcome weather, as London or Portland can attest, it was made to
rain instead. Besides, as children can equally attest, rain was fun.
Lucinda hurried her step, though, having passed from that threshold
of running into the
rain to running out of the rain. Not quite running though. Running
just didn’t seem dignified. Even though she wasn’t in a city
anymore, and nobody was looking at her anymore, she kept thinking
about what people would say if she ran around like a child. Adults
were never hurried. Adults never had to change their gait for some
storm or person or deadline. Adults were always in control, and so
they always walked, while the world waited for them. Besides, she
was carrying too much to run. She’d found some fallen branches
from last night’s wind. It had been so cool. The trees were
shaking and waving like so many reeds, and sometimes she felt like
the wind would pick her up and fly her around. And it had been so
quiet. It was just the wind blowing, and the whole world holding its
breath, hoping the wind wouldn’t notice it. It prowled through the
forest and the plains, pushed her clothing against her skin and
snapped her hair against her face. It was so cold and so refreshing
and so exhilarating all at once. She had felt so free. But now the
storm was coming on the wind’s heels, and she had to make it back
to her little home with the loot. Home was a grove of pine trees
overlooking a stream. It was the pine needles. She couldn’t take
another step when she saw that many pine needles. It was the best
night of sleep ever.
Next she was going to make walls between the tree trunks, and a
door. It was going to be so cool! With her pine needle bed, and her
house, she would be set. She had camped under the evergreens, but
the stream was within view, so she had her water and baths and
laundry. Yesterday she had stuck her clothes in the water beside
herself, then put them on a rock and sunbathed beside them. She
couldn’t stop worrying if someone else might see her the whole time
she lay there, but it was so nice that it was worth it. Clothing,
she reminded herself, was good for protecting her, and warmth for
times like now. And there were
other people,
somewhere. She wasn’t quite ready to go from skinny dipping to
skinny living. Maybe she would work up to it bit by bit. She’d
have to, eventually. Clothes weren’t immortal. But she supposed
she could go out and buy some clothes and then come back. Or make a
grass skirt or something. She’d seen lots of girls in grass skirts
at El Dorado. In front of half the casinos. She laughed to think of
herself as more scandalous than they were. It just felt so different
here. Like nothing you did could be wrong.
The only problem was food.
She realized that eating everything around her would make her have to
range further from home each day. But she didn’t want to just roam
around and never feel home, or feel safe. Plus, near her, she had
only found pear trees, dewberries, and some squash-like plant. An
eggplant? A zucchini? She didn’t know. She didn’t know nearly
enough about anything. Probably half the stuff she looked at was
edible, if she knew what part to eat. She didn’t think they’d
actually plant poisonous
plants just to spite the inhabitants. But then, what if the
mushrooms were hallucinogenic? Would the people here have decided on
a lot of those, or none? She didn’t trust them. Even if she could
eat a few pears a day and that would suffice, it would become really
boring fare. A
pear for breakfast. A pear for lunch. A pear for dinner. Repeat.
She hadn’t figured out that part yet. And her period had not been
fun at all. She winced just thinking about it. No doubt men decided
on how this bubble worked. Absolutely Nothing was just fine if you
didn’t have headaches and cramps from it.
“Oh!” A boy spoke,
startled. He looked either direction as if expecting something bad
to happen. Her bones jumped out of her skin, or at least tried to.
She hadn’t heard an actual word in a week.
“What are you doing here?”
She turned on him, the storm finally caught up. “It was about to
rain, and I saw these pine needles-“ He was flustered, realizing
his mistake. Of course it looked so nice because she had put a lot
of work into it for herself. He should have realized that.
She smiled. “Yeah. Aren’t
they great?” She produced her home with a proud flourish of an
arm. A branch fell out of her arms.
“Here, let me help you with
that.” He grabbed some wood, then wasn’t sure what he was
supposed to be doing with it.
“I thought I would connect
the tree trunks, you know. . .” She hesitantly stuck a piece of
wood into the ground for a stake. It fell over, and she laughed. “I
just got here, I don’t really know how to make a house. . .I just
thought having wood was a start.”
“Oh, that’s alright.
Wow!” The rain had become torrential. “You’ll let me stay
here, right?”
“Of course!” The rain was
coming down hard everywhere but there. Already the stream was
running faster with the extra water. “But are you here all alone?”
The boy asked, and then she connected what he meant by all his
furtive looks over her shoulder.
Her mouth opened, closed. She
didn’t know what to say. She just realized that being alone with a
boy and no law to protect her. . . He looked stronger than other men
she’d seen, more in control of his surroundings. It wasn’t what
she could wish for just now. “Why?” She asked. So stupid!
That meant ‘yes I’m alone and scared of you too.’ Yeah, that
was real smooth. Couldn’t she ever lie? How hard would it have
been for her to say she had a dozen uncles or something?
“It’s just. . .you’re so
young. . .I didn’t think I’d find a young girl all alone out
here, where, well, you know, it’s all touch and go as far as people
go. . .” She relaxed a little. Anyone busy stumbling over words
was probably okay. She didn’t know enough okay people to know if
someone was okay or just devious, but it’s all she had to go with.
She wished she had more. “I know. And it’s probably stupid of
me. But I didn’t exactly choose this.” She shrugged eloquently.
Water was dripping through the trees and making a mess of her bed.
“It just happened really fast, and I was just getting used to it.
Are people really that scary?”
He shook his head. “Not
that I know. But I’m sort of a piece of flotsam that washed up
here. I don’t know what the ‘normal’ person is here.”
She perked up her attention.
“What do you mean? Why are you here?” He didn’t really seem
much older than herself.
“But then, maybe the norm
really is just flotsam. Maybe this is just some big beach that
random people wash up on. Don’t you think? Like you said, right?
I bet we’re all just here without knowing why, just trying to get
by.”
She cocked her head. “We
are? Or you are? Or I am?”
“No, I mean,” He looked
around him for what he meant. “like, nobody can be here for
a reason.
This place doesn’t have
a reason. This is the place you go when you don’t have any reasons
to be doing anything. When you don’t even have anything to do. Or
be. It’s like the place you go when you don’t really care if you
exist. Wait, that’s too depressing. . .it’s like nothingness,
except you still get to live, see?”
She nodded. She was here to
be free, and safe, and because she didn’t have anywhere else she
could go. But it was true, she certainly wasn’t doing anything or
being anything. All she’d needed to do was build this shelter and
find more food, and she’d be set. I
guess that is sort of nothingness. Except I still get to live.
That was a big difference. Wasn’t it? It was only dripping now,
the rain running out quickly in such a contained system. Weather on
Mars just couldn’t keep up with Earth. There wasn’t enough
atmosphere to create climate disturbances, nor a hot enough core to
cause tectonic disturbances, nor bubbles large enough for even
thunderstorms to form within them. Getting drenched and maybe cold
was as bad as it got. Nature had been tamed by the bubble’s policy
of divide and conquer. There just wasn’t enough air to support a
storm. Floods and droughts couldn’t happen, as water couldn’t
leave or come in from afar. And life, in another way, had become
softer, easier, and safer.
“So no reason? You’re
just here to live?” She eventually pressed.
“Something like that.” He
blushed.
“What? Why can’t you tell
me?” She felt safer the more nervous he got.
“This. . .is sort of
ridiculous.” His face grew redder. “There was a girl. . .and we
both loved her, see. Love her. He-this guy-saw us holding hands,
and challenged me right in front of the whole class. I didn’t want
to fight him, so I ran away. . .except I don’t really know how to
live somewhere else. . .so I thought I’d run here.”
“You left your girlfriend
and family and home and friends and ran all the way here just to
avoid a fight?” She asked, amazed. It was like a fairy tale. Two
guys fighting over a girl for holding her hand?
“I couldn’t kill him!”
His voice rose in self defense. “How could I look her in the eyes
afterwards? If it means that much to him. . .then better he should
just have his way.”
“Kill him?” She was
startled. “What for? Who said you should kill him?”
“Don’t you know what duels
are?” He seemed to be reevaluating her mental aptitude.
“Yes I’ve heard of duels,
but you said a fight! Duels are like, in the middle ages!” She
heated in defense of herself.
“In the middle ages, or in
Palermo. Take your pick.” He smiled wryly.
She looked at him again, the
way he held himself, that seemed taller than other people. She was
in a wild grove with a real live knight, sitting on a bed of pine
needles! Beside a rushing stream! How’s that,
mother? How’s that,
street corner? And she’d been like some river nymph only
yesterday. What if he had seen her then! She couldn’t stop
blushing.
“Besides,” he went on,
oblivious, “I said ‘I didn’t want to fight
him’, the verb. I didn’t say it was a fight,
the noun. Though,” he admitted, “you can
use duel as a verb,
it’s usually kept as a noun, and fight just came more naturally to
the tongue.”
“Oh what does it matter if
fight’s a verb or noun?” She flounced.
“Well, it’s part of the
code. I can’t lie, so I just had to clear it up that I hadn’t,
or else my honor would have been stained.” He said this with a
totally straight face.
“So wait, even though they
practically exiled you, you still live like you’re in Palermo?
Don’t you leave the system of a bubble at the bubble’s door?
Especially since you yourself rejected the system, or else you
wouldn’t have left?”
“It’s perfectly honorable
to avoid a duel for the right reasons.” He said a little
stiltedly. “I’ve never gone against our code, and I never will,
no matter where I am. It’s not a code for this time or that, or
this place or that, it’s the
code.”
“The
code. So I suppose all other codes are wrong?” He nodded. “So
I suppose my code is wrong?” He nodded again. “So I suppose you
really want nothing to do with me, and now that the storm is gone,
you can leave, now can’t you?” She couldn’t stand admiring him
and being contemptible in his eyes at the same time.
“I could. Only I thought I
could help you build your shelter, as I offered to earlier.”
“Oh, and so now you must, to
avoid having said a lie?” She glared at him. “No thanks! I
absolve you of your compliance! If someone is going to help me, it’s
going to be because he wants
to, because he
likes me.
I don’t need duty bound scraps thrown to me by people who don’t
even respect me.”
“Calm down! Who said
anything of the sort? What are you getting so angry for?”
“What, can’t I get angry
whenever I want to? Is there a law against my getting angry here?
Is that in your code?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“Look, I don’t care what
you said! I just want you out of my pine needles!” She stormed.
“Get out! Out!” She pointed the first direction she thought of.
He got up to go, bewildered and practically scared she would start
hitting him. He even went in the direction she pointed, just to be
safe. She watched with satisfaction until he was out of sight.
Except now she was all alone again, when for the first time since
she’d run away she had found someone she could talk to again. That
was her first friend, and the last thing she had wanted was for him
to leave. Somehow that hadn’t occurred to her until just now. She
had expected him not to go, she didn’t know what to do when he
actually did. And now it was too late. And maybe the next man
wouldn’t be a knight. . .and she wouldn’t have a knight to
protect her. If she wasn’t still mad, she would have cried. She
was already primed to cry out of frustration alone. Now she had to
add on how incredibly stupid she was. Alright, she would cry.
“Here you are, sir, miss.
Just keep these bracelets on and there won’t be any trouble. We
don’t like trouble here, and you tourists are full of it, so just
mind your step.”
“Gee, thanks.” Roland
said, putting his bright orange bracelet on. It looked odd. He
didn’t like jewelry. Only, it wasn’t jewelry. It was their
yellow star, so that everyone would know they didn’t belong.
“Look, if you want to be a
rebellious young punk and impress your girlfriend with how you can
resist authority, do it on someone else’s time. Next!” And that
was how Roland and Isolde entered Sao Paulo. Isolde looked at him
with those laughing eyes. Roland smiled sheepishly. The gatekeeper
had really stickled him, and Isolde had decided he deserved it, and
now deserved to be laughed at just to make sure he realized. Well,
he supposed he did. The guy didn’t have to be so rude, though.
Weren’t they potential fellow citizens or something? Jeez.
“So do you like it so far?”
Isolde asked sweetly, her eyes still laughing at him.
“Okay, okay, so I shouldn’t
have said anything.” Roland said. “Would you stop looking at me
like that? You’ve been laughing at me ever since Tyrol!”
“It’s just that you’re
so funny!” She teased.
“Well I’m glad somebody
thinks this is funny. Christ, look at this place. Nobody even looks
at each other. And
they only glare at us.”
“They have to let us roam
around for a month. They don’t have to like it.” She remarked
judiciously.
“But who would want to stay
with a welcome like
this?” He complained.
“Who says they want anyone
to stay?”
“but. . .” Roland trailed
off. He just thought everyone was happy to see people come and go.
It was what Martians did, right? “Well, any ideas?”
“Sure. Let’s find a
place, then go out to eat. And as long as you’re offering, we can
go see a movie.” Movies had changed a little, in that they were
now 3d, and involved all the senses, but going to the movies was
still what couples did. Guided by her practicality, the more
spiritual question concerning how they should deal with their new
neighbors was perfectly eluded. He suspected that was
her spiritual
solution. To ignore it and go on enjoying life, wherever they were.
But that negated the whole point of being here, or anywhere. If she
believed that, did she even really care about any of this at all?
Was this just a fun vacation to her? If so, she had the strongest
will and the least prudence he’d ever seen. To take her own choice
of life as a joke! He wasn’t sure if he was more impressed or
afraid.
The crowds were large in Sao
Paolo. The city was prosperous, and at the leading edge of
technological improvements. There didn’t seem to be any ‘bad’
districts or slums. Because Earth had banned many fields of research
on account of ethical questions, people had emigrated to the freedom
of Sao Paolo to continue their research, or continue to enjoy the
fruits thereof. With so fewer people and resources, Martian
scientists were no match for their Blue counterparts, but when the
Blues withdrew themselves from the niche, the Reds filled it, and
prospered.
Smugglers would buy up the
products of Sao Paolo researchers, then sell them to Earth, bring
back the highly demanded goods of Earth, and sell them to the
researchers for more contraband, in an upward spiral of wealth until
they were caught. But there were always enough desperate or
overconfident spirits to pick up where the last smuggler left off.
Wherever there was demand for a product, suppliers would emerge, like
maggots spontaneously generating from raw meat. No matter how hard
Earth tried to stop it, the trade went on. The harder they made it to
smuggle, the higher the prices skyrocketed due to the scarcity of the
goods that made it through, the more willing the smugglers were to
risk everything for the newly-created incredible returns by virtue of
the very forces trying to stop it. Which, it might be noted, caused
many Blues to resent the lawlessness of Mars, and wish to stop the
problem at the source. A problem for a later chapter, perhaps. For
now back to Sao Paolo.
The researchers, after buying
the products of earth from the smugglers with their dubious
productions, could then in turn sell the excess to the rest of the
Bubbles, in return for more local goods, such as plants, minerals,
and manufactures. At least some products from Earth, thus, trickled
down into all the communities of Mars, who were producing anything to
trade with. Here robotics and genetics and questionable methods of
gaining information ran free. There wasn’t any government, so
taxes and regulations were out of the question. The people of Sao
Paolo had figured out how to govern themselves.
At the restaurant families or
friends clustered around round tables, talking in subdued tones so
that they wouldn’t be overheard by other customers. Nobody
laughed. Nobody had laughed on their way to the restaurant. Not
even children. For that matter, no children had been playing
anything that they could have laughed about. They were just being
towed around by the hand by parents going on various errands. Roland
had to watch others input their orders and receive food from a hole
in the center of the table, to understand what to do. It seems they
preferred robotic interaction to human. Well, Roland admitted, at
least he wouldn’t have to leave a tip. Especially since Isolde had
taken his question as an invitation to pay for everything. He vowed
to himself that from here on he’d only consult his own wishes, to
make him feel better. Only with her, ‘his own wishes’ were to be
accommodating and avoid any conflict or ill will, which meant
consulting his own wishes would only lead to consulting her wishes.
He simply forgot what food or lodging or music or anything he
preferred. That didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was if she
were pleased or displeased with him. The food could of course still
taste bad and the movie still be horrible, but so long as she smiled,
all was right with the world.
Which meant that in the great
area of choices which were not regarded by him as obligated or
forbidden, but equivocal, he consigned the whole of them to her
preference. And for Isolde to wheedle a preference out of him,
Roland only gave one to suit her preference of suiting his
preference. Which, to the startlement of all Roland’s everywhere,
did not please Isolde but annoyed her to no end.
The movie was about a war on
earth fought recently. Bolivian separatists had tried to form a new
nation on top of some magnesium and tin mines the rest of Bolivia
wasn’t willing to part with. And apparently sometime during the
war, a squad of soldiers had blown up half the enemy army and formed
deeply romantic liaisons with half the women in the country, all of
whom were absolutely gorgeous. Nobody laughed during the whole
movie. Roland supposed it was a tragedy, but it was so ludicrous
that he had been on the point of laughing half the time. Nobody else
seemed to agree. After the movie ended, and history kept going, two
million people had died, the separatists had given in, and been fined
the cost of the war required to put them down, so were now worked
virtually as slaves in the very mines they’d attempted to claim
until the indemnity was payed off. The millions lost were made up
virtually overnight by lucky parents given a dispensation to have
another child. Overall the war was hardly noticed by Bolivia itself,
much less the rest of the world. Millions were born and died every
day as it was, what did it matter if another couple went a little
earlier? It just meant another couple could come a little earlier.
When populations reached their resources’ maximums, people were
seen as interchangeable parts. When a human rights group complained
about children dying from overwork and lack of care in the mines, a
Bolivian minister explained that it “was just overdue birth
control,” and didn’t see why other people couldn’t mind their
own business.
Everyone else in the theatre
cast pointed looks at the interlopers’ bracelets and inched further
away from them. Once a child had pointed at them asking “Why are
they wearing that?” And a mother explained in a reflexive
whispered tone, “Because they aren’t safe.” The child cast a
more frightened and curious glance at her mother’s face, then the
two tourists, than ever, but was hushed before she asked another
question. Roland looked at his bracelet again. “Not safe? They
did check
that we weren’t fugitives before we came in, didn’t they?”
Isolde seemed taken aback as
well, but didn’t want to talk during the movie.
Filtering out, people gave
them a wide berth on all sides, while giving little room at all for
each other. Even now the people didn’t make fun of the movie, or
some annoying person that sat near them. The crowd didn’t even
talk because they were in a crowd, and just wanted to split apart
again. It irritated Roland more than ever. The moment the two were
walking alone towards the boardinghouse they’d rented, he exploded.
“What did I do? What is this?”
“We didn’t do anything,
dear.” Isolde soothed. She had done the research on this bubble,
so she had the advantage of knowing the why and how and what of Sao
Paolo.
“I know we didn’t do
anything!” That’s why he was mad! “So why are we being
treated like criminals? I feel like I have to remember what I did
the past few days and check to see if I’m carrying heroin or
something just to make sure!”
“It’s because we’re the
closest thing to criminals they ever see or know.” She explained.
“Suppose you’re in a theatre back at home and a couple known
murderers are sitting next to you. Wouldn’t you want to change
your seat?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, now suppose there had
never been a murder in the whole town, that nobody had even hit
anyone else during your whole life, that you’d never even seen
violence or violent people.”
“Okay.”
“Then imagine a couple
foreigners come in with dyed hair, tattoos, pierced all over, cursing
up a storm, and looming over everybody that walks by. Wouldn’t
they be as menacing to the people in that town as a murderer to a
city used to the rest?”
“I guess.”
“Well then, just think this
bracelet is equivalent to all that other stuff, and there you go.”
“But that’s not the same!”
“This bracelet is as
threatening, more
threatening, to
them, than all the indicators put together of a ‘bad’ guy we know
of back home. Because this bracelet is a better
indicator that
we’re bad than all
of that back home.”
“How so? Every tourist has
to wear this!”
“Because tourists are the
only people who can commit crime at all.” They arrived at the
boarding house, where the proprietress treated them with a little
more courtesy, since her job depended on pleasing tourists. Roland
also had a sneaking suspicion that Isolde’s being with him made him
infinitely more palatable and ‘safe’ to their eyes. Just imagine
if a single eighteen
year old boy with a bracelet were prowling the streets. They’d
probably arrest him right then and there. Except, he hadn’t seen
any police. Maybe they’d just gang tackle him.
“No crime? Even in Geneva
there were criminals, and you can’t find
more upstanding
people than that.” They threw their luggage to the floor,
stretching out onto a big bed with sighs of relief.
“As to that, I think you’re
plenty more upstanding than anyone in Geneva.” She kissed him as
proof of commendation. “They have a thousand devils and angels
ready to enforce their upstandingness, and all we have is ourselves.”
“I meant as a whole.”
Roland still glowed, though. His anger had vanished with her kiss,
leaving only curiosity.
“Well, Sao Paolo gave up
persuading people not to do crime. As far as they’re concerned,
people will always be criminals whenever they can get away with it,
or even possibly get away with it, and some people will do it even if
they know they
can’t get away with it.”
“That’s the thing.
There’s always psychos, you can’t stop all
crime.”
“Sure you can.” Isolde
smiled triumphantly. “Everyone knows that there’s a time between
when the subconscious makes a decision, and when the conscious is
made aware of its decision. Insert a chip that receives the signals
and rejects the ones it doesn’t see fit before sending it on to the
conscious, and pow, nobody ever has a criminal thought to their
names.”
“But that’s. .
.impossible.” Roland protested. “No computer could decipher the
import of thoughts and then judge if they’re accepted or forbidden.
. .”
“Can’t they? Don’t
machines have failsafes that forbid them from certain actions? Like
bumping into things? Or falling off edges? Once they get near, the
wheels are stopped. The command ‘go’ isn’t allowed anymore.
How do you think cars work? They aren’t allowed to hit each other,
the computer has a situational awareness of its position vis-à-vis
all the other cars, a command to get between any two points as fast
as possible, and a failsafe command not to hit any of the others.
Obviously it’s more complex than that. But the point is, computers
have failsafe commands. Ones that override other commands after
being judged dangerous given the situation. If a computer were to be
given a failsafe command, “don’t let your body hit another body
over a speed of x,” all you would need is a collision detector-the
brain already has it-and the override-which conveniently occurs at a
level beneath our own awareness.”
“Well. . .but that’s just
violence. What if we stole something?”
“Easy. Just an if-then
statement. The computer only allows actions to go in a preset order.
You can’t eat the food until you’ve ordered it, or see the movie
until you’ve bought the ticket. If the computer doesn’t remember
the last step having been made, the failsafe jumps in and deems it
impossible for the next to be accomplished.”
“That’s not easy at all!
How can it have every single circumstance worked out? What if I’m
stealing by just not mentioning some information that if somebody
knew they wouldn’t lose their money to me? What if I’m stealing
by just altering a bank record after hacking into their database?”
“I don’t know the
specifics, but the principle is very simple. If A, then B. If not
A, then not B. Whenever the subconscious sends up a B without an A,
the B is just thrown out, so the only times our conscious even thinks
of doing B, it’s when they’ve done A.”
“Alright then, what if I’m
just defaulting on a contract? That’s not doing anything, that’s
just omitting something. Surely they don’t have a failsafe that
generates its own
commands?”
“Oh, that’s easy.
Whenever you make a contract, they can update the chip to include a
failsafe against any decision that breaches it. It would be the same
as thinking “bump into that wall” or “fall off the cliff” as
far as the chip is concerned. Make a contract that says, “I’ll
insure this house in case of fire,” and a fire burns down the
house, your subconscious can say “I guess I won’t insure it after
all” all it wants, but the failsafe will just keep throwing it out,
as an impossibility. If A happens, B happens. A happened, so only B
can happen, and thoughts C, D, E, F, G, et cetera, will just keep
being thrown out until B is sent up, and the function is finished.”
“But what if it’s
necessary to
do a crime? What if the failsafe doesn’t take into account that
you’ll die or something unless you do? What if some alien is
threatening to blow up the planet unless you steal an apple, and you
can’t?”
She smiled. “Then the world
explodes.”
“But that’s not a
solution! That’s just. . .making people into robots, and perhaps
wrong robots!”
“That’s a price they
decided they would pay. If they don’t like it, they can always get
it removed and leave.”
Roland grumbled. “Until
they put a failsafe in that doesn’t let you think it’s wrong to
have a failsafe.” Isolde laughed and told him to stop being so
gloomy. She kissed him again to help him on his way, and then they
got ready to sleep.
His arm wrapped around her,
his hand holding hers, Roland emerged from the brink of sleep with a
sudden realization. No wonder nobody laughed-how could a program
surprise anyone? Good, maybe now he could stop thinking long enough
to sleep. Isolde was already breathing evenly against him. She
slept so easily because she never went to bed worrying about
anything, it just wasn’t fair. God he loved her. He squeezed her
hand just a little, and she squeezed back.
6.Wherein
the Reader is Surprised to Find A Fantasy world Inside a Science
Fiction Bubble
Lucinda woke up to the sound
of steady knocking. She blinked a while, as she couldn’t
understand how she was back in home with mother knocking to wake her
up. But then her senses came to her in a rush and she stepped
outside to find out the truth. There he was, slashing a tree branch
into shape. A pile of finished wood lay beside a pile of work to be
done. It looked like he’d been working since the very morning.
The first thing that came into her head was really stupid.
“Where did you find that
ax?”
He stopped. Sweat fell off
his forehead. “I made it. They don’t let people carry property
in. That’s not the idea.” In testimony, the ax was a simple
combination of wood and a sharpened stone.
Made an ax? “Where would
you learn something like that? Nobody knows stuff like that.”
“We’re trained with
weapons the moment we can walk. We know how to make lots of stuff
into weapons. We don’t learn much else, so I thought this was the
only place I was really prepared for. Lucky for you, neh?”
She smiled. “I’m sorry
about yesterday. You just came on so strong. I didn’t know what
to do.”
“I thought I might be
forgiven.” He smiled, taking his ax up and setting back to work.
“But-“ she stopped him,
earning her an annoyed look. “But where did you learn how to make
a house?”
“A house?” He looked at
his poles. “I’m not making a house. These are going to lean in
onto each other with the trees for support. It’s going to be a
dome, then we tie them all together and to the trees, so the wind
doesn’t blow it away.”
“But where would you learn
how to make a hut then?”
“Is this how you have all
your conversations?” He gave up trying to work. “The only time
you haven’t been asking me a question is when you’ve been yelling
at me.”
She blushed. “It’s just.
. .I’m not sure if I really want this. . .at least not forever.
And I wanted to learn about Palermo. If, you know, you don’t need
any education to get by, like here. . .I thought maybe I could make
it there. Except also feel safe and have friends and, you know. .
.actual stuff.”
He stopped and looked
mournfully at his work. “So you won’t even stay long enough for
a hut?”
“I’d love to have a hut,”
She quickly saved his sinking feelings, “But couldn’t you first
tell me your name? I’d tell you about my life, only it’s not
that exciting. But you! It’s like you’ve done ten times as much
as me in the same amount of time.”
“My name? Sacripant.” He
gave up his ax and walked away. She was frightened. But then she
realized he was just going to the stream. He wasn’t just going to
leave her, not if he already stayed through last night.
He took off his shirt and
splashed into the stream, waited a couple minutes then took a long
drink. “You chose this place really well, I could really get
comfortable here.” He called from afar. “It’s a shame you got
to it first.”
She wasn’t looking, but
called over her shoulder. “A trade, then! I’ll give you my
place in New Haven, if you give me a new place in Palermo. There!
See? Even pine needles are worth something. Everything is money
somehow, right? Isn’t this prime real estate?”
“Alright.” He stepped out
of the stream cheerfully, putting his shirt back on. He dripped all
the way back to the evergreens. He came back into view, decent once
more. “You still haven’t told me your name.”
“Lucinda.” She smiled.
He was so courteous. Or maybe, she thought he was so courteous, that
everything he did was made courteous in her mind.
“That’s a pretty name.”
It seemed to be the common consensus. Well, maybe mother had done
something
right. But there were too many emotions there. Just keep your mind
on now and you won’t have to think about that. “When we were
drawing up Palermo, a lot of people were tired of laws.”
She groaned. “Not another
one. I haven’t been to a single bubble with
laws!”
He laughed. “It’s not
what you think. They weren’t tired of order. Just law and order.
So they got together and looked for a different system. There was a
time when there weren’t any courts or lawyers or judges or juries.
In medieval Europe, the whole social fabric was kept together by
honor and swords. It was honorable to rule, honorable to obey, and
the number and quality of swords you owned determined where you fell
in the pyramid. If two people had a dispute, they had a duel, and
whoever won was obviously in the right. It’s called trial by
combat. We decided it was fairer than cowards destroying each
other’s lives with petty lawsuits, and lawyers using rhetoric to
sway the juries. There’s no justice in the courts. The people
with the most money hire the best men who work strange judicial magic
to make black white and wrong right. And even if you win, you’re
out the lawyer’s fees, who encourage all the lawsuits possible so
they can feed off us like vultures. This way, if you challenge
anyone, if you have any dispute, you have to be willing to stake your
life on it. It discourages the ne’er-do-wells and the cowards.
And this way, everyone has a chance, it’s a level playing field.
Whoever wins wins, and it’s entirely in your control whether you
win or lose. If you’re tired of following some guy’s orders?
Challenge him to a duel. You can kill him and take his place. If a
wife is straying with some other man? Challenge him to a duel, you
can kill him, or he can kill you and take your place. When
everything is a matter of life and death, people learn to be
courteous to each other. We’re the most polite people in the
world.”
“But couldn’t some really
strong person just go around taking anything he wanted? That’s not
fair either. And what about us? Do we even have a say?”
He shook his head. “Women
aren’t allowed to duel. They wouldn’t have a chance, and we’d
quickly run out of babies if we killed women. Men you can afford to
lose, they’re a dime a dozen. Women are too precious.”
“Oh well thanks.” She
rolled her eyes.
“As to some strong person
killing everyone and taking everything. . .it doesn’t work out in
the end. Oh, some people have tried. But no matter how good you
are, if a whole town is riled up, they’ll challenge you one after
the next until you collapse of exhaustion
if nothing else. Nobody’s strong enough to win duel after duel
after duel. And every enemy you kill, that creates ten more enemies
who want to avenge his death, it becomes totally out of control. And
if some guy is just that
strong, then let
him beware his old age. He won’t last long. Besides, there are
women enough who have knives and poison in the dark for husbands and
brothers and sons lost.”
She gaped. “By God! It
must rain blood in there! Everybody’s a murderer!”
“They can always leave if
they wish.” He pointed out. “Nobody has to kill. They can
always decline a duel and leave. She could have left with me, if she
had wanted.” The last line was much quieter. Lucinda didn’t
know if she’d even heard it.
“But who could live there?
Why wouldn’t everyone leave? You’re never sure if you’ll live
to the next day. Your property could be taken by anyone who wants
it. Why, even your own. . .even my own. . .could be won with a
sword.”
“Only if you choose to stay.
Nobody forces you.” He was very strident about it. “Why do
people stay, though?” He seemed to be confused himself by the
question. “It’s so different. I don’t know. Maybe you just
can’t understand.”
“I’m giving you my home
to tell me, you know.”
He smiled. “What, you’re
still thinking about going? Okay then.” He tried to catch a line
of thought and work it all out. “At first it sounds like people
are being killed night and day. But they aren’t. I’ve never
been in a duel. We all train very hard for it, but. . .only a few
people are willing to challenge someone else. We’re all taught
that we should defend our honor. But we’re also taught that
defending your honor hardly ever means proffering a challenge.
Almost always it’s accepting one. Only when someone else is so
flagrantly unjust, if someone steals, or hurts a girl, or doesn’t
pay back what he borrowed, or. . .or I don’t know, calls you a
liar, or a cheater, or a thief. You see? How can you stand for
that? Duels are there to bring back balance. A duel will offset
whatever injustice there was, so it won’t be there anymore. One
way or the other, there will be harmony again. It redeems you. Even
if you die, it restores your honor. Everyone will remember that you
wouldn’t allow someone else to steal your honor, that you died with
it still in your breast. Plus, most of the time, it’s your own
friends and family you offend, as those are the people we’re
around, and our emotions are always more involved with them. They’re
the conflicts you can’t avoid. They’re the ones you can’t
ignore, or just walk away from. So if you provoke one to issue a
challenge , how can you win? How can you say you’ve won if you’ve
killed your friend?” This was less a rhetorical question then he
might have wished, and Lucinda immediately connected the open plea
with what he had said before.
“He was your friend?” She
put her hand on his, because his was trembling.
“Of course he was my friend.
He loved her for the same reason I loved her, because we both loved
the same things, and she embodied them. How could we not be friends?
To both love her, we’d have
to love each other.”
“But he was willing to kill
you?” That hardly seemed right.
“No, he was defending his
honor. I provoked him. I shouldn’t have gone behind his back. We
knew. . .Sal and I knew it would have to come to a duel eventually,
that it had to be won fairly. But I tried to somehow avoid it, to
win her heart, and use his love for her against him to defeat his
gauntlet. Using his goodness against himself, that’s just so low.
I was totally in the wrong. He had to challenge me after that.”
“But how could she have
wanted either of you to die? How could you make her choose like
that? If she makes a choice, then you kill each other? What kind of
choice does that leave her?”
“She had a choice.” He
clenched his hand. “She chose to stay. She’s probably with him
right now.”
“But that’s not fair. You
would make her leave everything for you?”
“No.” He caught himself.
“No. If she had loved me enough, then it wouldn’t have mattered
to her. She doesn’t love me enough, so I wouldn’t have wanted
her to. No, it worked out the best way it could. I was just in the
way and I was wrong and now she’s happy.”
“If two people ever loved
me,” Lucinda touched him again to show she cared, “I’d thank
them both. That would make me so happy. And maybe I would love one
more than the other. But that doesn’t mean I’d want the other to
die.
I’m sure she loves you much more for not fighting.”
“That’s probably true in
other places, but there it’s the opposite. In Palermo, she
wouldn’t think of it that way. In Palermo, she would have loved
both of us more for it, because we fought bravely and proved how much
we valued our honor. If a girl sees a boy fight for his honor, put
his life on the line for his good name, or his sense of justice, or
maybe even her own impugned virtue, that’s when they lose their
hearts to them. It’s the testing ground of a boy’s true
character. Whoever lived through it, she would know how much he
loved her, and how much he loved his own values. That he valued
something more than his life, that he was above things. What more
could you ask of someone? A boy like that should
be loved.”
He made it sound so different
than how she was hearing it. Could the same thing really look so
different just by the words that were attached to it? Could she
really turn her head over and see
what he was seeing?
She couldn’t stop thinking of just how much blood there must be.
“Besides, challenges can be
withdrawn if the challenged offers restitution beforehand. If you
actually feel bad about it, or even if you’re right but it just
isn’t worth fighting over, then nobody has to die. If you’re
really in the wrong, then the honorable thing to do is back down from
a duel. Nobody thinks of it as a way to get stuff they don’t
deserve, we don’t even care about having that. People could care
less if you have a bigger house or prettier clothes or anything else
but honor, so nobody would trade their honor for a big house or
prettier clothes, even if it was a sure thing they could win them.
We’re all wrapped up with honor. Everybody is always thinking
‘what is honorable?’ ‘What will make people admire me?’
We’re always worried about our reputation. You can’t just kill
someone if the people think you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
You’ll be a pariah the very next day. You won’t have kith or kin
left in the bubble. So most of the time, one way or another, it
doesn’t actually come to a duel. The duel is what gives our lives
meaning, but only once or twice in our lives will we actually have to
duel.”
“Once or twice because then
you’re dead.” She remarked.
“We all die sometime.” He
shrugged. “But we don’t all die with honor. We don’t all live
with honor. That’s something special.” He sighed for the
absence of it.
Lucinda caught it immediately.
He was just too easy to read. “Why don’t we both go back? It’s
obvious you still love Palermo. And her. If I leave you here, it’ll
just eat you up inside. You don’t want to be here. And, I don’t
want to be alone. A stranger in a strange land. I’d feel so much
safer with you. I do feel safer with you.”
“Impossible. The same
situation would be there if I went back.”
“No it wouldn’t!” She
retorted encouragingly. “Look, how long has it been?” She
asked.
“Umm. . .four, five months.
. .I can’t really tell time here. I haven’t really wanted to
stop and think about it. But I know I can get by here. It’s okay
if I stay here forever.”
“Five months then.” She
overrode him. “Five months and she thinks you’ve left her. I
bet she’ll be with your friend now. Even if she didn’t choose
then. It would be the only choice left to her, right?”
“Most likely.” His tone
warned her against hurting him with such reminders.
“Then you see? The
problem’s been solved. It’s already decided. Unless you would
challenge him for loving her when you’d already given her away?”
“I might. I don’t know
what I’d do if I saw them together. I don’t know if I could
stand that.”
“Sacripant, listen. You may
not know, but you really do know. You knew the very day you left.
That you loved them more, that you would be okay with them marrying
instead of you. You decided to give her away, and you have stood it
all this time. You’ve never rushed back and fought him. You’re
abiding by her choice right now. Only, if you go back, they’ll
both be so grateful to you. They’ll want to be your friends again.
You can go
back. They’ll bless you as the person who’s given them more than
anyone else. You aren’t their enemy at all anymore. Not if you
really have given her up. And if Palermo is the
code, you’ll
never be happy anywhere else. How can you be happy here? It’s
like you said, there’s nothing here. I mean. . .sure, you can
still have a sense of honor here, nothing takes away what you bring
with you here. . .but isn’t it better to be with other people who
feel the same way? I know I’d be lonely if I were here for five
months without anyone. And if I felt passionately about something, I
know I’d want to share that with someone. That it would just burn
a hole in me if I didn’t. And-also-I know this is odd, but-we’re
more alike than you think.” He listened attentively, as she paused
to gather her courage. She hadn’t been able to tell anyone yet,
because she had been too afraid. But she had to tell someone,
she needed someone to understand, and more than that, to agree with
what she had done. She couldn’t chase away that feeling that maybe
she was wrong, until someone affirmed her, forgave her, told her it
was the right thing to do. But a knot in her throat was making it
hard to speak.
“I had to. . .choose
between everything else, and honor. . .well, what I think is my
honor. And I ran away too. I cared about honor more. I even. . .I
even might have lost my life for it, if things had gone differently.
Don’t you think I could live there, then? If people are really
like that? You’ll be my friend, won’t you? I mean, I’ve
already chosen to care about honor. Why not live in Palermo then?
And that means we can understand each other. If it gets to be too
much for you, you can talk to me, and I’ll understand. And if I’m
overwhelmed by it, I can talk to you, and you’ll understand. We
can hold each other up, whoever happens to be falling at the time!
Just because things could be bad there, things could also be much
better there than they ever will be here. And we’ll be friends,
right? Together it has to work for both of us, I just know it will.”
“What, and give up all these
pine needles I just worked so hard for?” Sacripant complained.
“And all the poles I just made?” Then they laughed. It was
obvious that they had nothing left to lose.
7. Wherein
the Plot Thickens
The people gathered at the
meeting were restless. Some fidgeted, others played with pens,
others diverted themselves by watching others. They all wore
impeccable business suits, which consisted of a nice black shirt and
black pants, men or women. They were executives of corporations each
of which stretched over the civilized world, and would shift their
‘base’ of operations to whatever country offered the less
taxation or regulation at the time. The meeting was as secret as
could be managed these days. That is, everybody knew about it, but
at least they didn’t know what was being said immediately, and
maybe wouldn’t know for months or a few years until they somehow
found out. In the business world a year was an eternity. A year was
all any business was hoping to survive through. If nobody but them
knew about this meeting for a year, they would count it the
deliverance of God.
Because the news was very bad.
“All right folks.” The
president of the board began, bringing their restless eyes all on
him. “Here’s a rundown of the situation. We’re all employed
to feed the world, and God knows we’ve tried our best. Transco
with artificial meat saved us all the expense in animal raising and
all the land held up by grazing. We thought that would stave things
off for a good fifty years. We’ve doubled rice yields, trebled
them. Sheltered our crops from droughts and blights and bugs and
freezes. We’ve fertilized the hell out of every inch of soil with
the exact fertilizer it needs in a point-by-point basis. That’s
Chambliss over there, if you don’t remember. The mathematical
revolution of farming. It would keep our situation solvent for at
least twenty years. That was five years ago. We’ve run the
greatest public relations campaign in history to convince people to
switch from maize and wheat to rice and potatoes and soybeans. We
convinced them it was more fashionable, environment-friendly, cheaper
and tasted better. The truth is they yield more food per acre, and
maize and wheat simply couldn’t feed us anymore. If we didn’t
convince them the first way, we would’ve had to open the books and
just told them it was that or starve. Changing the diet has given us
a breather. We’ve given up hoping it will give us a long breather.
It may not give us more than a couple years before the population
catches up to us again. This is the goddamn thinnest margin of error
we’ve ever had to work with. The population is so close on our
heels of production that in just two years we might see the first
famine in two centuries.”
The crowd murmured. The last
time they’d met, they’d been told there was at least a decade
left. A few people cursed under their breath. “Fishing isn’t
allowed except in giant controlled factories. The oceans have a lot
of green stuff in them, but fish simply haven’t been modified
anywhere near the level of our crops. And in the end, eating the
second creature in the food chain isn’t half as efficient as eating
the original. The amount of fish in the seas can’t be raised like
the other crops. It’s reached its maximum. There’s no more
resource to capitalize on. Short of another agricultural revolution,
which God knows we’ve sunk as much money as we can afford into
making-and yes, some people at Metzburg have done some very promising
things--but that won’t be on the market for at least ten years.
Folks, we don’t have ten years. I know, I know, we should
have ten years. We
thought we had ten years. But we don’t. In the rest of the world,
we’ve seen populations reach a ceiling and stop. We’ve seen
euthanasia and abortion and infanticide, clipping away the
unsupportable margins. But so far that has always been the third
world. The barbarians. It couldn’t happen among the civilized
nations, where the economy and technology always grow faster than
babies. Here we value life above everything else, and there’s
always enough
to go around to support it. That’s what’s written in our history
books, and that’s what we want our children to write in their
history books, too.
So does anyone have anything to report? Any industrial secret they
were holding in reserve? Any last line of defense they were hoping
to provide when the prices soared? Is there anything any of us are
doing? Any suggestions left on the table?”
“Christ Ben, you know a
secret doesn’t last five minutes out of the media anymore.”
George honestly and bluntly spoke from across the table.
“Maybe if we convinced
people to eat less. . .made waifs the paragon of beauty.” Isabelle
suggested.
“It doesn’t work, the more
stress you put people under to be a certain way, and the harder it is
to be that way, the stronger the backlash that they’ll just give up
and wallow in their inability. The harder you push for them to lose
weight, the more they’ll gain.” George countered.
“Maybe if we got rid of
pets. Every other family owns one, and they do nothing but consume.
How much would that save us?” Jenson threw out.
“Are we back to eating
fellow thinking feeling creatures again?” Ayane expressed with
horror.
“Ayane’s right, we just
don’t have the power to ‘get rid of pets.’ Only famine could
actually make people make that choice, and we’re trying to prevent
that.” Ben
brought the conversation back to the ground.
“Well what’s left Ben? I
know it sounds awful now, but what’s left a year from now? Does
anyone else have a solution?” Jenson challenged sorely. The room
was silent. They’d burnt themselves out finding solutions ever
since they came to power. Even the greatest people in the world
rarely produced more than one great idea, one discovery, one
invention; for them to be asked to create three, four, five, in as
many years, was simply asking too much.
“People will just have to. .
.cut back.” Isabelle ventured squeamishly. “Eat less, don’t
have children. . .wait for technology to catch up again. There’s
just nothing left.”
“That’s one solution, clip
off the old, the feeble, the ill, the young, the friendless, until
the population is sustainable again.” Ben agreed. “And we’ll
call that plan B. But if there’s any other choice, any other way,
surely we should give it the preference. Nobody could wish for a
solution like that. But there is
another solution. Plan A. This is what I drew up a couple weeks ago
before I called you to this meeting. I drew it up because I met
someone special. He was asking me about the best crops to stock a
self-maintaining culture for an indefinite period of time. He
doesn’t know we’re talking about him right now, but he’s got
something special folks.”
“What, a researcher ahead of
ours? Who could have the resources to exceed what we put into
agricultural engineering?” George’s pride seemed a little
wounded that he wasn’t working for Transco.
“That’s the thing. He
hasn’t built a new strain of rice. He’s built a spaceship.”
Ben seemed excited for the first time in the meeting. It animated
the rest with a sort of blind hope. “A spaceship. Only this time,
it isn’t $10,000 a pound to get up to Space. It’s a synthetic
fiber, thin and light and strong as hell. First fill a balloon of it
up with hot hydrogen, and watch it float the ship up gentle as a
lamb, then just a little nuclear kick in the right direction, ditch
the balloon, and release a sail made of the same fiber. It stretches
out to some obscenely thin but wide size, picks up the solar wind,
and off the bubble goes. There’s never a big stress on the ship,
so with just plastic and this fiber it can hold together. No large
heavy fuel component. No large heavy metal component. It just takes
advantage of the wind and sails the star ocean. The most exquisite
work of art you’ve ever seen. It’s beautiful.” People scoffed
or whistled or shifted their weight.
“Folks, we’ve got an awful
lot of capital ready to invest. We’ve got a lot of research and
development which we could divert to this. And I’m telling you, if
we don’t get some people off this planet, in two years we might
lose everything we’ve made in the past two centuries. Surplus
labor leads to lower wages which leads to less consumption which
leads to further unemployment which leads to yet more surplus labor
until we wake up someday and look out our window and see steam
engines and power looms. Or maybe oxen and ploughs. Or maybe well
chipped stones.” Ben did
have a flair for
the dramatic.
“We can’t just randomly
liquidate our businesses for some charity Ben.” Jenson countered.
“If we don’t keep up maximum output many more people will
starve.”
“I’ve already sunk
everything I have into it.” Ben ignored Jenson. There was a
general gasp. Ben was the richest and the most savvy businessman in
the world. Only the energy sector competed with the food industry,
and Metzburg was the largest food industry of all. He hadn’t
gotten there by going on quixotic crusades. “If you don’t see it
yet, I’ll spell it out for you. This population is bad business.
So long as we’re all producing the most efficient crop possible,
the amount people are spending on their food is the absolute physical
minimum. If we had half the population there is now, we’d still be
able to earn as much from our food. We’d be selling caviar and
mutton and chocolate covered cherries or something. What do we make
from rice? What’s the profit margin? A penny a pound? Less?
That’s an industry secret, I know. But we’re making penny a
pound, so it can’t be much less with you. We could be making a
dollar a pound in pure profit of strawberries. Ten dollars a pound
with liquor. A hundred dollars if it gets a reputation. People
nodded. Lowering production could increase profit, if the rich had
something luxurious to waste their money on, and
the poor had rice to eat. Profits came from having a range of
products that each class of people could afford to buy, so that
everybody spent as much money as they could for the same effect, in
this case to be fed. If that order was distorted into a market of
high prices for the rich, and low prices for the poor, and no choices
inbetween, everyone other
than the rich would
buy low, even though they would have spent more, given the chance,
and the rich would buy high prices regardless
of all the inferior choices offered, as they could still
afford it in either
case.
“I just don’t see how
flying bubbles could possibly
cart off enough
people to make a difference.” Jenson challenged.
“Because you’re still
imagining it to be something like what we have now, but this is
entirely different. These spaceships are cheap.
This isn’t some small improvement, this is the combination of two
technologies that didn’t even exist
when spaceships
were being made. These are two materials that are nothing like what
we’ve had before. Plastic is already the cheapest and most
abundant material made, but it can’t sustain itself under the
violence of the launch. So our spaceships were stuck, we thought,
with being metal. But now we can make them out of plastic, because
they aren’t launched, they’re just floated up into space. And
the fiber is cheap and light and strong, so it could be an enormous
balloon, like nothing you’ve ever seen, however big you want it to
be, it could be that big, which is enough to lift a spaceship however
heavy into space, still for cheap, and as the spaceships are plastic,
the heaviest part left is just the people inside. I don’t really
know what this fabric can do, how much tensile strength it has, but
it’s far better
than steel or anything else on the market, and if arranged properly,
like steel it could hold up skyscrapers. But it doesn’t really
matter how much a balloon could lift, if it’s cheap enough, as many
balloons as people want can be made. A million balloons if we
wanted, once the factories are set up. There’s no shortage of
wealth in
the world, just the amount that can be employed in making food, if
there was any room left for capital to increase food production, we’d
already have gotten it, there’s plenty
of room for capital
to increase the production of flying bubbles.” Ben paused to take
a breath and gather his thoughts, before going on.
“How many people are on
Mars? Ten million? We’ve got twenty five billion. That’s what,
2,500 Blues for every Red. The Earth is twice as big as Mars and has
a lot more resources, so to be simple we’ll say Mars could support
four billion people. If we could just get four billion people off
this planet, think how much that would free up for us. Think how
much time we’d have to get back on our feet.”
“We’ll fill up that four
billion gap like dancing jackrabbits, the moment it’s gone it’ll
be back again.” George countered.
“And by then we’ll be
launching flying bubbles to Europa and Ganymede and Titan and
Triton.” Ben insisted energetically. “All we have to do is give
this guy what he needs to get this off the ground, and it’ll never
stop. This is the stepping stone we need to really stop crawling
around earth and start walking around the solar system. Great things
require a lot of money. And even though I’ve given him everything
I can spare, it’s just not nearly enough, folks. Of course it’s
risky. Of course it might not work. Of course it might not be
enough. But our other solution was Plan B. Eat our pets and then
‘cut back’ and hope for a miracle. I’m asking you as a friend
and as a businessman, invest in Henri Loretti. We could be doing
something as great for humanity as the bubble. If you just do a cost
benefit analysis, look at it! The loss is our businesses. Other
businesses will fill the gap. Someone or other has to make money
making food, the need for food isn’t going to leave if we go
bankrupt. The gain is pretty damn close to the salvation of our
species. Isn’t it worth taking that chance?” George, Ayane and
Isabelle eventually agreed to ‘see what they could do.’ Jenson
swore they were all crazy and they were throwing away the only chance
to realistically help people and themselves for some damn fool
hotshot 20 year old with some untested gizmo. And once they’d
heard him out, and still held firm, Jenson sighed and promised
Brizzeti would find a way to match Metzburg pound for pound.
Isolde stretched out her back,
enjoying the warmth and softness of the bed as long as she possibly
could. Roland stirred immediately, his hand having felt the movement
transfer through her to him, waking without really being disturbed.
He was so sweet. She started to slide away and he immediately gave
her up, rolling onto his back and yawning. He could get another
twenty minutes of sleep while she went through her morning ritual.
They interacted like a well-greased machine, neither losing a step or
wondering what they had to do next or where they should be. Not a
word had to be said for a thousand signals to be understood and
followed. It was only fair, they’d known each other since they
were children.
Soap. Shampoo. Shower.
Brushing out her hair. Mouthwash. Makeup. Done. She stepped out
with a new set of morning clothes. Roland saw her and smiled, still
dozing. She suspected he didn’t sleep as deeply as her, so every
time she moved he had to wake up and go back to sleep again, but he
never complained of it. He was so quiet about his nights that it was
like he felt it was too holy to even share with her. They walked by
each other as he went for the bathroom. The sun was up, Isolde went
online to check when her favorite authors and musicians were
releasing their next works, and entertained herself contemplating
how happy they’d make her, and how happy they’d made her before.
She probably could have just remembered when they were due to come
out, but looking at the titles just filled her up. It made her feel
like her life was just one continuous miracle and every tomorrow had
some wonder to separate it off from all the other days. She found
that feeling in books and movies and music, outside and inside, with
Roland and when Roland wasn’t around. She found it doing
gymnastics, she found it playing her flute. She always found
something wonderful about her life somewhere. It was always there at
her fingertips, ready for her to pick up, to play with, to admire, to
love. If only she could feel them all at once, if only she could
somehow boil it all down, synthesize it, and have just one moment
where every feeling she’d ever felt from everything that touched
her, could turn into just one perfect agreement between her soul and
the universe’s. If she could just see that underlying presence
that manifested in all these things, if she could just see that soul
instead of its little pieces, she could die happy. She took out her
flute and her sheet music, moseying from song to song she knew by
heart. The sheet music just made the happy memories feel closer.
Roland probably thought she
was choosing her bubbles out of delight in perversity, and maybe it
was that. Obviously she couldn’t be a Genevan or a Sao Paolen.
But they were bubbles she thought might have the answer, the way to
connect everything together. They were Edens which had both tried to
absolutely exclude evil, to be absolutely good, and that feeling of
total affirmation, that passion for the perfectibility of humanity,
just pulled her magnetically to them. But it still wasn’t right.
It was almost the exact opposite. They both agreed humanity was
absolutely evil, and then made something else
perfectible. She
didn’t care about something else. She cared about finding a truly
perfect humanity,
without hurters or hurt, a spirit that could actually look face to
face with god, with the infinite, with perfection, with the absolute,
whatever the word, she wanted to find that spirit and be a part of
it. Not make up a spirit that wasn’t even there, then bend her own
into a corkscrew to fit it, and declare that
was perfection. It
was no use to her how perfect something else was, if she
could never be it, or how perfect some other time or existence or
life would be, if she
didn’t get to
live it. If she couldn’t be perfect now, then she
would never be
perfect! Maybe some other thing with her name could. But what did
that matter to her? What she wanted was her own
perfection. Her
own single moment face to face with god. These people hated
themselves first, then
loved some other
ideal self. That wasn’t right at all. Well, maybe the next bubble
could give her an answer. The one after next. She smiled,
correcting herself. Roland was still looking for a job.
“Ready to go?” Roland
asked, looking refreshed. She nodded. “Alright then. Next stop,
Stradham.” She liked how he pronounced the name. It was full of
so much hope. She really hoped he would find a place to be happy.
As for her, if she enjoyed her own company, it hardly mattered where
she was. And if she didn’t enjoy her own company, it hardly
mattered what other company she kept. She wasn’t looking for her
bubble. She was looking for the best self she could find.
“I’d tell you to leave
your stuff here for safe keeping, but you don’t seem to have
anything.” The gatekeeper said to the couple that had arrived.
“You both check out, here are your visas. Remember, the rules here
are social, not written. Just play it safe until you get a feel for
things. Nobody will come to save you if you provoke a duel, so if
you think you could offend someone by saying or doing something, just
don’t do it. This isn’t the easiest place to assimilate into.
Are you aware of the risks and still prepared to stay?”
Sacripant smiled. “I think
we’ll manage well enough.” Lucinda laughed and agreed. They
entered Palermo like fish into water.
8. Wherein
the Sea recedes because the Tsunami Approaches
Over the gateway to Stradham
read a plaque: “KNOW THY SELF.” After that came another:
“2+2=4.” Followed by a third: “THE STRONG SURVIVE AND THE WEAK
PERISH.” At first Isolde thought it was a joke. Roland smiled to
see her eyes widen with each new sign. A fourth plaque loomed ahead:
“DO NOT USE FORCE OR FRAUD EXCEPT IN SELF DEFENSE.” Then a
fifth: “THE DUTY OF ALL RATIONAL BEINGS IS TO BE RATIONAL.” And
a sixth: “DUTY IMPOSED IS SLAVERY. DUTY ASSUMED IS MORALITY.”
And a seventh: “WELCOME TO STRADHAM.” The car parked itself at
the reception center. Roland laughed. That was so great! Talk
about first impressions!
“Well, now that we know
that.” Isolde tried to recover her composure. “I’m surprised
they don’t just send missionaries to the other bubbles and tell
them these things. It’s obvious we need to know them.”
“They do.” Roland said.
He laughed again to watch her. Which made her think it was a joke at
her expense. “No seriously,” averting her glare, “they do.
I’ve talked to some. They go everywhere. All of them, after
graduating, are called on by the Dean to tell all the people they can
get to listen, why they shouldn’t live where they live, and why
they should live here.”
“But that’s so rude!
Bubbles let people in, because they want to give their society a
chance, and maybe become a part of it. How can they just have their
minds made up, and use the hospitality, to take others away from it?
That’s like the pied piper.”
“The what?” Roland was
stopped in the midst of forming a rebuttal.
“First the rats, then the
children.” Isolde said, as if that meant something. Roland just
looked at her. “Okay, like, the gingerbread house then. You know,
wicked witch makes a place all nice and enticing, but then she eats
you.” Roland was blank. “Or the wicked wolf! He’s red riding
hood’s grandmother, but then it turns out he’s a wolf, and he
eats her.”
“What? Wolves don’t eat
people. Wolves are afraid of people!” Roland seemed personally
insulted that such base and false impunities were being made upon
all wolf kind.
“Did you even have
a mother?”
Isolde shot back.
“Yes! And she taught me
that wolves don’t eat people!” Roland shouted back. But both
their eyes were laughing.
Isolde grinned openly. “Okay,
okay. I just meant, without any metaphors or symbolism or allegories
or synecdoche’s, that they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
She burst out laughing at his furious look. “That they come in,
pretending to be tourists, when really they’re anti-tourists.
They don’t tour the world, they make the world tour them. You
have to see that’s not fair of them.”
“They don’t pretend to be
tourists. They’re actual missionaries. They’re pretty brazen
about it. I mean, you can’t go two minutes without them launching
into some series of questions. “have you ever thought about--?”
“did you ever wonder if--?” And besides, isn’t it the same
thing? In one case, converts are made by a whole society eating up
individuals, and in the other, by individuals nibbling on whole
societies.”
Isolde bristled at the idea.
“It’s the same cockiness that made them put those signs up. They
think they’ve got all the answers, that everyone should become like
them, that they’ve got nothing to learn from us, that we’ve got
everything to learn from them. Honestly, other people can be smart
too.”
“Do you actually disagree
with anything those signs said?” Roland asked, intent upon her
answer. She noticed his focused look, so thought about it seriously,
before making a reply.
Well, there wasn’t much to
disagree with. One
was a suggestion. The next was a formula. The third was the
principle of evolution. The fourth seemed like a pretty good and
pretty simple and pretty agreed upon idea. The fifth was just a
reflexive statement, it proved itself; obviously if something is
already defined as rational, it has to be rational, that wasn’t
actually asserting anything. And the sixth? Well, if somebody
imposed a duty on you, wasn’t that slavery? If people can make you
do things, that’s what it means to not be free. So the very last
part. Was morality the result of people assuming, assigning to
themselves, taking up the restrictions of, imposing upon themselves,
certain bonds and shackles of duty, that they had to then follow and
fulfill? . She couldn’t find a hole in it. If you didn’t
assume a duty, then you must be acting at random, and that was hardly
morality. And if someone else made you do your duty, then you didn’t
choose to willingly, it was the same as them grabbing your arm and
moving it around and then saying you were responsible for where it
went. The only time morality even entered the picture, was when
someone willed something freely, and with some idea of the results in
mind. That’s why robots and bugs were amoral, and humans were
moral. Humans could assume a duty. Perhaps more could be said about
it, or it could be said in any number of different ways, but this way
was still just as true. Well curses. They had her.
“Alright so maybe it’s all
true. But I already knew that. They don’t have to act all
superior. Everybody knows that, basically, one form of it or
another.” She grumbled.
“Everybody knows it, but
only Stradham writes it down, all in one piece. Only Stradham
gathers together what everybody knows, and actually knows
it.” Roland was
already talking about it with pride, as though Stradham’s
achievements were partly his own. She realized with an odd twisting
feeling, that he might love something more than her. That a part of
him belonged to this instead of her. That she hadn’t ever known
all of him, that there was still another part not even she got to
share in, that these other people did. She bit her lip. She could
worry about it later when he wasn’t watching. Right now was not
the time. Gods,
she had just passed a test, a moment ago! He had her on trial, and
was awaiting a self-condemnation. She had almost been. . .found
wanting. That hurt even more.
“Welcome sir, ma’am.”
The gatekeeper said pleasantly. “If we could have your ID’s?”
They passed them along, the computer ran a check, and they still
weren’t fugitives on the loose. “Well, you saw the only law we
have at the entrance. Don’t use force or fraud except in self
defense. You’d think that wouldn’t be that hard to follow, but
it still takes police.” He shook his head in bemusement.
“Are there a lot of students
coming this year?” Roland asked.
“Yep. Nothing but young
folks streaming in, now that the University’s revving up to start.”
“There’s still a month,
right?”
“Oh, well, you know, what’s
a month, when there’s 24 a year?” Obviously older people judged
time differently, Roland decided. A month was forever.
In a month, he might lose Isolde or have her hand. In a month, he
might be enrolled at the University, or wandering around with a chip
in his head. In a month, a comet could hit and be done with it all.
Who knew what could happen in a month?
“I’m still allowed to lie
to my boyfriend, right? That’s not fraud, that’s self defense!”
Isolde plead.
The gatekeeper laughed
heartily in admiration. “Take my advice, lad, this one’s a
keeper. Go on, go on, there’s a line forming!”
Roland decided to let it
slide. After all, she might not have been joking, in which case, it
was better not to ask. And he was a little proud of the older man’s
approbation. He yawned. Not enough sleep last night. Oh well,
there was no helping it. He looked around for a minute just to soak
it in. Here was Stradham, the capital of Mars. At least, the
intellectual capital. There was no political one. This was where
all the people with potential went to turn it into something. Arts,
sciences, philosophy, whatever you wanted to know. Tyrol might be
where people found employment, but this was where you were
apprenticed. There was education enough in most bubbles, to get by,
and job skills that were taught on the job. But some things were
just so complicated, that no employer was willing to waste his time
teaching you what you needed to know, before you could even help him.
In fact, anything worthwhile, as far as Roland was concerned, was
too complex to learn on the fly or out of primary school. School was
just a daycare/prison that kept children out of trouble and out of
parents’ hair. And jobs that only needed that much knowledge to
work at, or even just human muscles, were such drudgery or boring
useless nonsense that he’d prefer just foraging for his food. The
secret college within the University, the researchers, were the most
useful people in the world. They didn’t waste time competing with
Earth researchers, but there was plenty of stuff to study which Earth
didn’t care about, that Mars did. For instance, where Mars’
minerals and water was to be found. How to convert the soil of Mars
into useful materials for humans, or grow plants humans could use.
What plants were best suited to Mars. What the currency of Mars was
doing, and what needed to be done to keep it stable. What roads were
worth building between bubbles. What products could be made to trade
for all the superior produce of Earth. How well each political,
religious, economic, or philosophic combination in each bubble
supported its citizenry. There was plenty to be learned here that
only Martians could care about, and only Stradham was structured to
figure out. Other colonies’ best and brightest had specialized in
far more specific, subjective expertises. Out of apathy or from an
enlightened foresight for the sake of the division of labor, they had
left the objective, general studies to Stradham.
Best of all, Roland thought,
everyone here was here because they liked to think. Everyone here
was most likely passionate about something, or talented at something,
or knew something better than most people. Everyone here could
either teach you something, or wanted to learn something from you.
And that was the best business ever, because knowledge could only be
produced, never consumed. All that could ever happen was progress.
Stradham had an advantage even over Earth, when it came to the study
of humanity. As Earth’s people were ruled by force, and Mars’ by
choice, here and only here could you really decide which way of life
was better than another, or who was right and who was wrong. Mars
was the final testing ground of every ideal, because every ideal
actually got what it wished for, the chance to live by it, the only
problems it had were the ones it created. And since so many
variations existed side by side, it was easier for Stradham to
observe them all, and find commonalities and differences-basically,
the dream of every social scientist, the chance to experiment on
humanity itself, was fulfilled. That’s what Roland wanted to do.
To find all the principles, all the hidden springs, of humanity, to
bring them all together into one place, one insight, which could then
turn around, after knowing what is,
and demand what should
be of the rest of
the world. He didn’t believe people were so different, that they
didn’t all share the same desires. He didn’t believe people were
so different, that they couldn’t find a single way that would help
fulfill all their desires best. But until that way was
discovered--and how could it be, when none had had a choice until
now?-and a method of persuasion found so convincing as to deliver it
to the rest of humanity in a manner that would win their agreement to
it-and how persuasive it would have to be, to overcome everyone’s
petty egos and pleasures and flights of fancy!-there would never be
an end to the errors and ignorance that made so many people so
miserable and contemptible and low. If he could even have a little
part in that discovery, a little contribution towards it, he would be
the proudest, happiest person in the world. Finding the greatest
vision for mankind was a solution so incredibly difficult, and so
incredibly rewarding, that conquering a tiny portion of that
difficulty, and receiving a tiny portion of the reward, would be
worth more than all the wealth of Croesus and all the wisdom of
Solomon combined. The only question was whether Stradham could
really teach him the answer, better than he could teach himself. And
the only way he knew how to answer that, was to see if Stradhamers
knew more than he did, and if Stradhamers were better people, in
general, than he was. Not a very precise measure, but he had to
start somewhere.
“Hello?” Isolde waved in
front of his eyes. “Are you really that mad at me? I already
apologized! Come on, let’s not spoil the whole day over a little
playful liberty!”
“What?” Roland gave her a
confused look. “Oh, about what you said. No, I didn’t care.
Actually it was pretty clever.”
“Then what--?” She gave
him a perplexed look. He didn’t know how to answer. He’d just
forgotten she was there.
“Palermo has the veneer of
being old,” Sacripant explained, “But underneath it the economy
is just as modern as Tyrol’s. Well, okay, not in degree, but in
principle. People can lend at any interest they want. We don’t
throw debtors in jail, we just dishonor them with the name of
bankrupts. We have the same currency as everywhere, and we are
careful not to inflate or deflate it. We don’t print out money and
pay our debts with it, or declare a penny is worth a pound, and pay
in pennies, or give such low rates of interest that anyone and
everyone will borrow money, or allow people to borrow money with
borrowed money as credit. We don’t have any taxes, which solves
that problem, or any expenditures. Unless you count the gatekeepers
and the minters and the like, but they run like private businesses,
they get paid by the fees they collect, not by any central agency,
their utility determines whether or not they exist.” As they
walked he began almost preening at each corner and each marketplace
they came by. Fresh fruit of all types, meat pies, butcher’s meat,
were hawked by vendors. Shoemakers, tailors, blacksmiths,
carpenters, they all declared their worth to passer-byes, displaying
old-fashioned tools for old-fashioned trades. Cows and chickens did
not wander around the street, if you recall, because animals no
longer were the sources of meat, and they would have had nothing to
graze on, and it would cause disease, so the hamlet was not exactly
as old-fashioned as could be imagined. However, people playing
instruments, fiddles and harps and flutes, and performers doing
acrobatics and juggling, did liven up the scene. There were many
kids, almost littering the streets, running every which way in their
own little worlds. Far more than she was used to seeing.
“Shouldn’t they be at
school?” She finally asked, when one stepped on her toe running
by. “They’re like an infestation!”
He laughed. “You’d best
be careful what you wish for, or we’ll have to drag you to one.”
She opened her mouth, closed it. . .well, technically, she had two
more years. . .Sacripant went on unheedingly. “But seriously, who
would enforce the attendance of the kids? There’s no law here you
could appeal to. If the parents don’t want to, what are you going
to do, duel each and every one of them in a row?”
“Well.” She bit her
cheek. That’s why you have laws, dummy. “Shouldn’t the
parents want their
kids to go to school?”
“What for? We apprentice
our kids to other master tradesmen. When the master decides the kid
knows his business, he goes public, and stakes his honor on his
student’s ability. After that he’ll get all the business he
needs. And if the master is mean, why, the apprentice can just
leave, and try to find another, or prove to the world he’s good
enough on his own merit. Besides, what you really need to know in
life, you have to learn yourself, so that you believe in it in your
heart. Only the things you prove to yourself, with your own
thinking, stick. Those are the ones that take you through life, the
rest just hang around for awhile then fall off, the glue all dried
up. They’d forget something every time they learned something
else.”
“But you had to go to New
Haven, because you didn’t know enough to get a job. Isn’t that
sort of forcing people here to stay here? Breaking the rules of free
importing and exporting by spoiling all the goods before they’re
exported?” Lucinda suddenly equated people to commodities, without
knowing where the idea came to her.
“Ha! The whole world could
use exports from Palermo. Spoiled goods indeed. Besides, even with
all your education, you ended up in the same place. What’s that
say?”
She stammered. “But I
wasn’t done yet.”
“Not done! What kind of
education is it, how long does it take, to teach someone to be
worthwhile? Not done yet! And you a grown woman, ready to start
your own home. When will anyone be done at this rate? When they’re
30? 40?”
She would have said 25, but
she stopped herself, that would just be proving his point, not
disproving it. Besides, in some jobs, 30 wasn’t uncommon. She
decided to change the subject while she was still ahead. Or not
totally drubbed. “So where are we going anyway? Or is this some
guided tour?”
He laughed. He was in great
spirits. She could tell from the playfulness in all his words. It
was great to hear. “We’re going to my place, to retrieve my
sword. It’s been far too long. Someone else probably owns the
house now, but they’ll have left my sword alone. Maybe they’ll
invite us in for some tea and cake.”
Her mouth watered. Real
cooked food. Hot tea! Bread!!!! Oh God it was good to be back in
civilization. “So where will we stay, if they’ve taken your
house?”
“Oh I suppose I’ll just
challenge whoever lives there, and take it back.” She gawked at
him. He watched her and laughed. “You’re still waiting for
someone to die, aren’t you? Ah, this is great. You make me
laugh.”
“I’ve noticed.” She
sulked poutily. She had the most amazingly cute sulky pouty look any
cute sixteen year old girl could make.
“Aww, come on, we’re going
to have a real meal for the first time in months! Even you must be
happy. Look! Here we are. Ten steps to hospitality.” He knocked
on the door.
“Wait!” She exclaimed.
“That was a lie! That joke!” She flushed in triumph.
“Nope!” He waved it off
with his hand. “I said, ‘I suppose I’ll. . .’, that’s just
a guess, or a possibility, I didn’t say I would.”
“Grrr.” She pouted again.
She could have sworn she had him. “Stupid loopholes.” The door
opened to a host of children with curious looks, and a mother
somewhere floating on top of the sea of them.
“Hello, strangers.” She
said strangers as though that meant good friends. There was a secret
to the wealth of Palermo. It couldn’t find egress in trade, its
products were too simple. It couldn’t find egress in government
boondoggles, there was no government. It couldn’t adorn
cathedrals, there wasn’t much stake in a religion of ‘turn the
other cheek’ here. No matter where wealth chased itself, there
didn’t seem a way to spend it. No expensive machinery to build, or
giant stock markets to gamble on. No entertainment products from the
Blues. And yet they still made money, and had to do something with
it. Which meant the wealth of Palermo was wasted entirely on
hospitality. All the homes competed with how many strangers they
could feed and entertain. As long as they had their honor, there was
never a lack for wrapped meals and boxed parting lunches for the next
day. And besides, the strangers would tell stories, provide fresh
conversation, and liven up the day for everyone.
“Good afternoon, ma’am.”
Sacripant made a precise bow. Lucinda watched him, tried to emulate
it. The mother looked at her for a moment, then started dying in
laughter. “You’ve brought in an Outsider, haven’t you, boy?
Ah, and what a darling young one she is! Was there some elaborate
kidnapping to get her away from her parents?”
“Naught of the sort!” He
blushed. “She ran away all on her own. I just met her.”
She laughed. “Well, I’ll
have to trust you on that. But surely it would make a better story
if you met her on purpose after she ran away. Now young lady, when
men bow, women curtsy. It’s like this.” The lady made a little
duck with her legs crossed, holding out her apron.
She tried it, almost losing
her balance. Her jeans couldn’t very well spread out either. “Why
can’t we bow too?” She complained.
The wife laughed. “Because
that might give them more of an eyeful then we’d intend, or they’re
ready for.” Lucinda realized it and blushed furiously.
“Ach, what a doll you’ve
brought us. Do come in, come in. We were just readying the most
wonderful pies. Mincemeat, rhubarb, gooseberry, it’s all in their
somewhere. Just push the children if they get in the way.” The
mother turned and seemed to wade through them herself.
“Actually, ma’am, this
call is as much business as pleasure, I’m sorry to say. I used to
live here, maybe half a year ago, and I wondered if any of my stuff
might still be stowed up somewhere?”
“Well, well.” She thought
about it for a moment. “I’m not sure if much is left. We took
the clothes and sewed them onto the kids, you know. And there wasn’t
all that much else, well, not that I recall. I do hope nothing
sentimental was left behind?”
“Nothing really,” He
assured her, “but my sword. I would very much miss my sword, belt,
sheathe, oilstone, and all.”
“Ah, well, I was wondering
where yours might be.” She made an indicative look at his hips.
“My husband is still working, so you’ll have to wait for him to
get back, he takes care of all that business. I suppose only an
Outsider doll would travel with you, without your sword, eh?”
He smiled. “Eh. She thinks
it’s awfully barbaric.” The wife laughed at her quick protests
that it was nothing of the sort, that she’d never condemn their
habits. “It’s alright, miss, here we care more about what’s
what and what’s not, then if anyone thinks we’re barbaric or not.
We know what we’re worth, a lot or nothing, regardless of whether
you think us a lot or nothing. That’s the type of folk we are.”
“Well, maybe just a little
strange, seeing so many weapons everywhere. . .” She fidgeted. “At
home we didn’t allow any weapons, it would have just made a bad
situation worse. Enough people died without them. . .”
“Ah, well, we all die,
sooner or later.” She gave her a compassionate look, pulling out
pies from the oven. Solar powered. So even here it was solar power.
Of course, though, it’s not like they could grow enough lumber or
dig up coal. She reproved herself. This isn’t a history book,
these are settlers who flew on spaceships to another planet, to form
a new colony. “We just try to worry about the how of it. That’s
the part we control, so it might as well be the part we care about,
eh?”
“Eh.” Lucinda agreed
wholeheartedly, her eyes feasting on the pies as they were put on the
kitchen counter to cool. Many of the children were staring at them
eagerly as well, but none
as ravenously as
Lucinda. Her mouth was actually watering. Real food!!!!!!! On the
counter!!!!
She gave the pair a sharp look
at their hungry faces. “They have to cool, but I tell you what,
how about some cheese and bread until they’re ready?” The
children piped up in broad approval, and the pair were not far
behind. Soon the closet was opened, and the household’s entire
stock of food seemed in peril of disappearing into mouths chirping
like baby birds for seconds.
“Ah, company!” The
husband spoke, with a beaming grin of welcome. “And what a pretty
young one you’ve found!” The wife waved a menacing spoon at him.
“Hands off, mister! She’s an Outsider just learning the ropes.
And this young one might have a complaint or two to lodge if you try,
as soon as you give him back his sword.” She gave him the news
good-naturedly. The man, as old and well-fed as he seemed, still
wore his own at his hip, it poked straight backwards, the hilt at his
hand, ready to be drawn. He wore it so naturally it seemed another
fixed piece of clothing. Lucinda stared at it as though it were a
coiled snake which could strike of its own accord at anyone who came
near. Well, not that she’d seen a snake, or baby birds chirping,
but the reader has, so she stared at it like, oh, a vial of acid, on
the brink of spilling over and burning anyone who was nearby, and the
reader would see her look, and think, she was staring at it like a
coiled snake. Be assured any liberty we take is for the benefit of
your understanding, not to your detriment.
“Your sword back, eh? So
you lived here last?” Sacripant nodded. “Well, just come
upstairs and we’ll dig it up. Couldn’t have the children testing
their own skills out with it, you know.”
“Of course.” Sacripant
excused him graciously. They both rose to walk up the stairs.
Lucinda watched the two walk, both with that electric dangerousness,
and yet both presenting such innocent good cheer. It was so eerie.
A girl tugged at her jeans, a small fist making its best effort to
pull it away from Lucinda’s leg. Another fist was in her mouth,
which she was sucking on laboriously, her eyes focused on the task at
hand.
“Here, silly, these are
jeans.” She pointed, smiling down at her. “They don’t stretch
like dresses, they stay tight so you can run around without
tripping.” The girl looked up at her with wide wondering eyes,
amazed at such a concept. A boy on the other side pulled her hair.
“Hey!” She snatched her
hair back. “Surely you’ve seen hair before!” The boy
snickered slyly and ducked behind a table. Two other children seemed
to be closing in.
“Just push them when they
get in the way!” The mother advised cordially, preparing a kettle
of tea. Lucinda would, but she didn’t seem to have that expert
touch, where the kids moved before they could be touched, her mother
had shown. And she couldn’t hurt any of them by actually pushing
them! She felt like a fort being attacked from all four sides
alternately and sometimes at once. Sacripant! Where are you when I
need you!
“Hey hey hey!” Sacripant
remonstrated, trotting down the stairs ebulliently. Seriously, that
was the way he trotted down them. Not a better word in the English
language. Because he was a whole man again. Because on his hip he
wore a sword. “Hands off, unless you want to go through me!” He
gave them such a scary look that all the children scattered with
shrieks from him, knowing when they were outmatched. What was it
with children that made them obey men in an instant, and plague women
for half the day? It wasn’t fair at all.
The father came down next, and
then they all settled down to a table, with pies and tea for dessert.
Dinner for the father, but then, he didn’t seem to mind. “It’s
a shame,” the father said, after the first good pie was down.
“That you two came today. There might have been more company, but
the funeral’s kept people a little down.”
Lucinda’s ears perked up.
Sacripant seemed appropriately saddened for a moment. “Did you
know him?”
“Only a little bit, from
when he did business with me. Silk, you know.” Sacripant nodded
as though that were only natural. Wool and leather came from sheep
and cows, and there weren’t any to be found here, so silk seemed to
be the answer. She guessed if they didn’t have factories for that
sort of thing, they had to grow something to wear somehow.
“How did he die?”
Sacripant asked just as courteously. Lucinda gave him a questioning
look. Surely such things weren’t talked about in front of the
children, in the middle of a nice dinner. . .
“Well, well. He was a good
swordsman, the spectators said. The man he challenged must have been
an expert, or just lucky. He has to be, with the big mouth he’s
got.”
Sacripant sighed. “Those
are the worst sort.”
The man nodded. “That’s
just the thing. The whole town is a little sad about it, but nobody
else really has a claim on the winner, a proof of injustice we can
lay at his feet. He’s too smart for that, he was careful enough to
insult someone he thought nobody else was connected to--a runaway, it
seems. The winner called this runaway a coward for dodging a duel,
or something, and the loser overheard and called him out right there,
absolutely furious about it. You would’ve thought he was
the runaway, the
way he took it so personally. We don’t even know who the guy they
were fighting over was, or if he was a coward or not, so we can’t
with any right defend him.” The husband shook his head, taking a
sip of tea. “And with this lad dead, it looks like that’s the
end of it. There’s no way to ask the challenger what he knew, and
find out why he thought it a slander for the winner to call the
runaway a coward.”
Sacripant’s glass of tea was
shaking with the violence of his grip. “Would you know his name?
The man who died?” The guy gave him an appraising look.
“Well, I’m not sure. I
only knew him through business. . .Sanzer, Sapper?”
“Salazar?” Sacripant
provided urgently.
“Yeah! That sounds right.
You knew the man?” The dinner table became incredibly silent at
the looming consequences.
“He was defending me.”
Sacripant whispered in shock. “He died defending me. It’s my
fault.”
“Oh, goodness!” The wife
spoke, in an overflowing of compassion. “Oh you poor boy. That
you should learn this way, on your first day. Oh we’re so sorry.”
“I suppose you didn’t run
away for fear, then?” The silk dealer seemed to be summing
Sacripant up.
“No. For love.” He
muttered. “Oh, God, Theresa! Oh God. I killed him after all. Oh
God. Oh God.”
The children all stared in
awe. Nobody tried to shoo them off, or hide this from them. Lucinda
started crying, as quietly as she could, just watching Sacripant’s
pain. It had been so nice. This home. These people. And now it
was all falling apart. It was as she had feared. People dying,
loved ones being lost, blood raining from the sky. It was everything
hateful and all of it was hurting her only friend, hurting him so
much she was afraid he’d just die too from it. She wondered why
nobody had told the children to go to their rooms, to stop listening,
something.
This was just too horrible.
“I suppose you’ll want to
know where this other guy lives. You can stay here the night, and
then we’ll help you find out whatever you need to know.” The man
offered, putting his hand out to touch Sacripant’s in a gentle
manner.
“Theresa will know.”
Sacripant’s eyes seemed to be looking far away, at some other time
and place, but his words were still on the present. “Thank you for
all your help, though, I think we’ll have to stay here for the
night.”
“That’s right. No use
going in that condition.” The man made that more of a declaration
than a suggestion.
Sacripant stared through the
wall blankly. He hadn’t practiced with his sword in six months.
He had with some rough equivalents, in New Haven, but not with his
actual sword, not with the same intensity. He would be rough. If
Salazar was killed, the other man was in top form. He would be
killed too. He didn’t know how long sitting on the insult would
become cowardice, though. Maybe he should just challenge him
immediately and die. At least then his name would be cleared. At
least then Theresa wouldn’t hate him anymore. He could escape her
hate if he died soon. That was the most painful thing of all. But
something else tugged him back. Something was making him value his
life against his own wishes. He couldn’t think what. It was all
over, everything, Theresa could never forgive him now, and Salazar
was dead.
What was holding him now? Then he realized what his own eyes were
seeing. Lucinda was looking at him, and crying. She was crying with
his own pain. For that, he would have to give himself at least a
chance to win. He promised her that. She deserved at least that
much from him, after all she’d given. He would have to see Theresa
tomorrow. His heart quivered with pain and grief and longing and
fear. He would even have to face her hate, if it meant his honor.
Even the pain of that was better than not knowing the killer’s
name. He felt like he was throwing chunks of his own body into a
fire, burning himself up. The price he must pay.
9. Wherein
Lucinda Grows Up Some More, and Various Disputes are Settled
Lucinda walked behind
Sacripant with her head lowered. She didn’t want to look at anyone
else in the eye. The whole place had taken on a nightmarish
overtone, and she was afraid of everyone but the man in front of her.
If he died, she felt like her whole world would collapse around her.
Why would God give her something only to take it away? Why would
God let this happen at all? Everywhere she went, there was just
suffering and more suffering. Everyone hurting everyone else. El
Dorado destroying everyone with their own weakness and squeezing the
blood money out of them without compunction, Blacksburg locking up
people or throwing them out in preference of all the other species,
New Haven just giving up entirely, and now Palermo, the place where
good people were killed over whether their friends were cowards.
Why? Why didn’t anybody stop and think, people were hurting,
that they were hurting
people? Why didn’t
everybody stop in their tracks and tell themselves that horrible
things were happening, and that they were causing it, or encouraging
it, or not stopping it? For every advantage people had gained over
Nature, for every triumph over disease, dearth, weather, they just
added on some new method of hurting each other instead. It was like
they just couldn’t stand a place where nobody had to suffer, that
they just had to make someone’s life miserable, to be happy
themselves! Why, in all these bubbles, out of all these ideas, out
of all these different solutions, why were they all so wrong?
Couldn’t anyone, anywhere, find a way out? Was it really that
hard for people to live together, without devouring each other like
monsters? Weren’t they any better than scorpions in a jar? Did
all their souls and free wills and autonomies and divine sparks and
categorical imperatives and virtues and moral resources and Gods and
heavens and hells amount
to so few good people? What
was wrong with
humanity, that they just couldn’t
get it right? All
of a sudden she hated everything. Everyone. Herself. Everyone
else. She despised it. It was so pathetic that it should just be
wiped away, blotted out, erased, that would be the most merciful act
left. There was just so much wretched, miserable, awful, stupid,
mean, lying, crap
that the best thing that could happen to humanity would be for it to
disappear. At least if they were a giant 0, she wouldn’t feel so
ashamed for them all. So despairing and nauseous. So infuriated.
So sad she felt like the tiniest touch would shatter her into a
million pieces, that she would just break apart into a million broken
fragments.
“You don’t have to follow
me.” Sacripant said.
Lucinda shook her head, then
realized he couldn’t see her. “No, I want to stay with you.”
“You might see stuff you
don’t want to see.” He warned.
“I want to stay with you.”
She repeated. Apparently it satisfied him, as he grew silent again.
Well, so much for that,
Sacripant thought. She was his responsibility, and he would have to
take care of her as best he could. Up until he died and left her
totally alone. Maybe he could arrange for someone else to take care
of her afterwards. He wished she had left. All he could offer her
now was more grief and loss. Another funeral. But it was her
choice. Enough of her, though. It was time to steel himself for
what had to happen next. And then he would issue his challenge, and
give himself a week to train. That was a good length of time, for
the challenged to put his things in order, in case of death, and for
the challenged to consider whether or not he would give some other
form of redress, and satisfy the challenger. Nobody would think it
was because he was afraid to fight. He wasn’t afraid. Just aware
that he was going to lose. In fact, he didn’t really feel anything
anymore. His mind was in absolute control, his body was numb, he
couldn’t even feel the beating of his own heart. All that was left
was a series of calculations to be made and then followed through.
It’s as if some part of him had already died, and was just waiting
impatiently for the rest of him to follow. Ah, here was the door.
Time to knock. He knocked.
“Coming.” A tired voice
called. Then she opened the door, her hair dirty and her face
smeared with tears and her eyes swollen red. She looked at him. He
looked at her. Neither could find a word. Lucinda looked at one,
then the other, afraid something was about to explode. “Umm. .
.would it be okay to come inside?” She finally dared. Maybe if
she restored things to the routine, they could. . .put themselves in
a frame of mind where they could at least talk.
“Of course.” Theresa
said, giving Lucinda a curious glance. “There might be something
to eat or drink somewhere. Here are chairs.” She gestured, in
case they hadn’t seen them. Sacripant dutifully sat down. Theresa
looked at them distractedly, as if confused how they had appeared
inside her house. Lucinda intervened again. “If you tell me where
the tea is kept, I can make some for you while you talk.”
“Oh, yes. That’s the
cabinet. . .second door down on the right side.” Lucinda had
watched the mother carefully yesterday, she thought she could do
this. She felt better already, having helped at least this much.
She walked away to the cabinet, but her ears stayed at the table to
listen to every word.
“You’re too late. The
funeral was yesterday.” Theresa finally said, sitting down,
shoulders slumped under the weight of the air.
“I know. I only got back
yesterday. That’s the first time I even knew there was a funeral.”
“Where were you?” She
looked at him fiercely. “Why weren’t you here? Why weren’t
you here to defend yourself? Why did you leave Sal to defend you,
you rotten, you coward, you-!” She started to stand up, to go over
and hit him, but she couldn’t. It took too much energy. Instead
she just sat down again and started to cry. Lucinda carefully poured
water into a kettle and started the stove. There was nothing she
could do, she just had to hope it would turn out well, and that her
tea would taste good.
“I. . .what can I say? I
didn’t think that would happen. I had no way of knowing once I’d
left. I thought I left you two happy. How could I have known I had
any claims to defend? I don’t even know the guy who killed Sal.
How could I have known he would insult me? I thought the only person
who had any reason to fight me was him.
What, should I have stayed, and killed him, so that I could later
defend myself, so he wouldn’t have died?”
“No! You should have
stayed, and apologized! And not run away! And not left me! Did you
ever think of that? You can’t just leave people! You can’t!”
She was trying to yell, but she wasn’t. It ended up more of a
choked pleading.
“I couldn’t apologize, not
when I would’ve done it again! Not when I loved you just as much!”
“Don’t say that!” She
yelled. “You can’t say that to me!” Lucinda didn’t know
anything but the words that reached her. She poured the water out,
and put the tea bags in. They had to soak through first. It would
be minutes and minutes.
“Fine, I won’t tell you
that again. It’s as true as sunlight, but if that’s how you
feel, I don’t care. I can leave this very minute, if you just tell
me his name and where he lives.”
“Sal wouldn’t have lost,”
she muttered, crying. “He slipped. He shouldn’t have lost. Sal
was the better man.” Lucinda blinked. Then maybe. . .maybe
Sacripant would win? She dared herself to take a long breath.
“Thank you. I’ll remember
that. I don’t want to impose any longer, though, so if you could
just tell me his name.” You dolt Sacripant! She doesn’t want
you to leave! And I haven’t even finished the tea! She stirred
the cup with a teaspoon viciously.
“Gregario. He left his
address here, for anyone who wanted to know it.” There was a
silence. Lucinda guessed they were looking for it. “There. I
couldn’t remember. There, that’s everything.”
“Thank you.” He said
again, politely. “Lucinda?” He called. “We’re done here.”
Lucinda cursed inside her head. She jerked up the cups of tea and
went to the table. “No we are not
done. Not until we drink this tea. We’re going to sit down and
drink our tea that I made, and we are going to drink it leisurely!
And you will like it!” She glared death at Sacripant should he
refuse.
Theresa might have smiled when
they sat down again. “Who is this Outsider, Pan?” It was the
first time she’d referred to Sacripant by
name. They both
seemed to notice it only after it was said. Lucinda noticed it was a
name she had not been privy to, which saddened her a little.
“She wouldn’t tell me
anything specific. She ran away from home, and ended up in New
Haven. I met her when it was raining, and she’s just tagged along
since.” Sacripant said, a little smile of his own shared at
Lucinda’s expense.
“She brought you back,
didn’t she.” Theresa stated, looking at them.
Sacripant grinned sheepishly.
“I wasn’t going to leave her here on her own. She would’ve
offended thirty people in the first few minutes.”
Theresa smiled, wiping at her
eyes. “Is she that clumsy?”
Sacripant shook his head.
“No, she’s just. . .bossy. . .and a little impulsive.”
Lucinda couldn’t sip her tea
any longer. Her face was burning up. “I am not
bossy.”
Sacripant laughed. “And she
keeps calling me a liar. Somebody
would have split
her head open by now.”
“You just keep twisting the
words!”
Theresa laughed. All three
came to a startled silence. “I’m sorry, Lucinda, but you’re
just so cute. . .he isn’t really making fun of you. . .you have to
know what it’s like with us. . .we try to have a good sense of
humor about things. . .so we don’t have to fight as much. . .so
people aren’t as likely to be offended. . .” She rubbed her eyes
again. “He thinks the world of you, so just don’t listen to what
he says.” Lucinda blushed furiously. For the first time she
thought she saw the Theresa Sacripant had fought over. She already
felt outclassed.
“I need to ask you a favor.”
Sacripant began, seizing on the opportunity. “If I die, I hope
you two can look after each other. I’d feel bad leaving either of
you behind. Could you do that?”
“Don’t.” Lucinda said.
“Of course.” Theresa said. Lucinda looked at Theresa
confusedly. They’d only just met. And why was everyone so willing
to talk about death? It’s like nobody even cared. Children,
widows, was anyone safe from it?
“Then everything is settled.
I will retrieve my own honor, now. I’m sorry it happened this
way, but it ends here. Either way it ends.” Theresa nodded.
“I want you to win, Pan. I
want you to know that.” Sacripant nodded. They seemed to be
saying more than what was said. He finished the rest of his tea
pointedly. “Let’s go Lucinda.” She finished her tea, happy
inside. Sacripant was letting her have her way about everything.
And he did it all so quietly, as though it wasn’t even happening.
It was so compliant and yet commanding at the same time. Nobody
she’d ever known had led her to even imagine such a person.
She wanted him to win. He
passed it through his head a few more times. She didn’t want him
to die, to pay her back. She wasn’t blaming him. She wasn’t
making him pay her back. She was making Gregario. She had forgiven
him. She had. She wanted him to live, even though Sal had died.
She wasn’t blaming it on him. This wasn’t just a way for him to
commit suicide as a gesture of repentance. He was supposed to fight
and win. He was supposed to kill Gregario and come back to her
alive.
“My thanks, Lucinda.”
Sacripant said. She was following behind him again. Perhaps a
custom of her home Bubble? It was certainly odd.
“What?” She asked.
Thank you for saving my life.
Again. “Thanks, I said.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I
knew you two could get along if you just gave it a chance.”
He supposed that was good
enough. Elbert Street. 224. Sacripant knocked again. Maybe he
could go back to Theresa’s when this was done. Or maybe he should
find some neutral person’s hospitality. Would she miss them, or
want to be alone? He didn’t know.
“Yes, what is it?” A
burly man said, opening the door.
“Is Gregario here?”
Sacripant asked.
“Gregario! Some stripling
wants to see you.” The guy turned his back on them, leaving the
door open if they wanted to follow. Sacripant did, and Lucinda
followed him. They were playing some card game, smoking cigars,
unwinding for the night with their friends. Gregario stood up and
looked the boy over. “What holes do these rats come out of, eh?”
The group laughed encouragingly. “Squash one and a dozen more
come running to die.”
“I gather you know what I’m
here for, then.” Sacripant said. Gregario was tall and strong and
grizzled. He would be a little slower. But he’d be better, and
stronger, and would have the longer reach. Sacripant revised his
odds to one in four. He had hoped Theresa was telling the truth.
But it looked like she had just been remembering it the way she
wanted. Maybe Sal did slip, but probably because Gregario made him.
“That’s right. You’re
here to ruin a perfectly good card game.” The rest laughed. They
had looked at Sacripant and none of them were worried.
“My name is Sacripant. I
was the man you labeled a coward, for running away from a duel. You
killed my friend, who tried to shut your lying mouth. Now I’m back
to shut it myself.”
“You’re a coward, and
everyone knows it. You’ll run away again before you fight me.
You’re not even worth your pathetic friend. He’s cursing in his
grave right now that he fought me over such a yellow-bellied
runaway.”
“Then you have no objection
to meeting me in a week, at the elm’s ring?”
“Yes I have an objection!
You’ll have run away again! You’ve never fought a duel in your
life, and you’re going to start with me?” Gregario sneered at
Sacripant’s body and posture. The worst part was they both knew he
was right.
“I’m starting with you.”
Sacripant answered. “At six o’clock.”
“Fine, have it your way.
Now take your Outsider whore and go.” Sacripant stared at him for
five seconds, keeping his hand carefully away from his hilt. If he
drew the whole crowd would cut him down on the spot. And they might
take her as spoils. He’d never faced such incredible treatment
before. He was seeing red. He
would die and she would be raped. He would die and she would be
raped. The world
came back into focus. “Let’s go, Lucinda.” They escaped.
That makes three times she’d
saved his life. Well, to be fair, she was only saving it from the
same fate. And if he had died the first time, he couldn’t have
died the next two. That’s three times she stopped him from
throwing his life away in the same fight against the same man in
three different ways. So maybe it all added up to just once. Well,
less than once. He was going to die anyway. Three times she had
saved him from dying in a worse way than he was going to die now.
There. That sounded right.
“I’m not a whore.” She
was crying. “I’m not. It’s not true.” Sacripant stopped.
She bumped into his back. He turned around furiously.
“Don’t ever
let someone like
that matter to you ever
again.” He
shouted. “He doesn’t deserve one god damned tear from your eyes!
He’s not worth one damned word from your lips!” He was so angry
his whole body was shaking. She looked at him in terror. “Hell
would freeze over before you ever had anything to be ashamed of in
your life! You’re the purest girl in the whole damned world!”
Lucinda tried to shrink into nothing.
“You’re scaring me.”
She quailed.
Sacripant caught himself. If
he had stayed just one minute longer in there, he would’ve broke.
He had been on the absolute brink. Gods, if he had stayed. She
shouldn’t be anywhere near him. He was endangering her. She was
his responsibility. She said she was staying. He had to take care
of her. He had to control himself so he could take care of her.
Okay. “Sorry. I’ve never been so mad. I just don’t know what
to. . .how to. . .it’s hard even breathing. I’m sorry. I’m
not mad at you. I’m mad at him. I’m just so incredibly mad.”
She nodded. He’d never said one good thing about her until then.
She only started realizing what he’d said, over how he’d said it.
He’d just given her the greatest praise she’d ever heard anyone
give anyone. And at last she felt El Dorado had been scrubbed
completely off of her. That she hadn’t brought any taint of it
with her. That she really was different from what her parents
thought of her. It made her cry again. But this time with relief.
She had her honor, and nobody could take it from her, ever again.
She had it around her like a second skin. It would be with her from
here on.
Wherein Someone Dies.
“There’s a difference
between knowing something and believing something--between
understanding something and agreeing with it. If I tell you, for
instance, that everything in the universe is connected, or that,
‘things’ are simply manifestations of connectivity, and that math
and physics has proven this, you might be willing to believe me and
agree with that statement, but the statement itself, leaving no
correlating concept in your brain, remains as empty and meaningless
as though it hadn’t been said. This is the problem with most forms
of knowledge. After explaining something to you, even if it makes
sense and you are willing to believe it, you don’t know exactly
what you are believing, or what it Is that makes sense. This is why
information shortcuts are made, such as morality and religion.
People need to know what to do, but they can’t be made to
understand how and why they should do what they should do, and so
they are given a simpler reason that they can
understand. Observe Newton and gravity. Newton observed that a
simple mathematical formula could describe the motion of all objects
from apples to planets, and, not knowing why this was true, invented
a force, gravity, which caused this. When asked how gravity managed
to exert this universal control, through unmediated space,
instantaneously (of course now we know space isn’t unmediated and
that gravitons travel at the speed of light, but bear with our
classical thinkers), Newton was the first admit that he could come up
with no explanation, and attributed it to the handiwork of God. But
that begs the question, “How does God do it?””
The class laughed. A hundred
students or so had come to attend Professor Mitchell’s lecture on
Information Systems. At Stradham, students directly paid their
teachers to attend each lecture they pleased. They could go to any
class, or no class at all, there was no curriculum, no registration
for classes. The students were everyone who wished to be students
that day, about anything they wished to learn about. The teachers
were teachers only of the things a large number of students were
interested in some, or a small number of students were interested in
a lot, or else they would have to seek other employment. There were
many teachers who were specialists, and lectured on very dense topics
only as a sort of bonus to their regular work, and there were many
teachers who simply had something they wanted to teach, came in one
day as the teacher, and left, satisfied that they had said what they
had wanted to say, never to be seen again. If students were
interested in a very particular field of knowledge that only a few
teachers were equipped to teach, it was likely that they would attend
many of that teacher’s lectures. In any event, students got from
the University whatever they decided to put into it, and teachers got
from the University only what students felt they were worth. Nobody
had authority or power. No system dangled the fates or destinies of
the teachers or the students. There were no grades, no salaries.
The University was simply the place where all of these spot-contracts
were made, not the regulator thereof. It meant ‘pet’ theories
were not rammed down student’s throats, and ‘pet’ methods were
not rammed down teacher’s throats. It meant professors were no
longer in a position of authority over their students, but simply
providing a service to them for pay, just like a carpet cleaner.
There was no power, only free people coming together for the sake of
free inquiry, which meant everyone there liked what they were doing,
and correspondingly liked the people they were doing it with. All
the old divisions were swept away. Teachers didn’t have to worry
about people cheating, as students had nothing to cheat on. Students
didn’t have to worry about arbitrary grading methods, as teachers
graded nothing. And neither had to worry about the agenda of the
administrators, who could simply mandate everyone waste their time
and money on whatever nonsense they came up with. No longer were
jobs and degrees and tenures used as tools to bludgeon everyone into
classes nobody wanted to teach or learn, fields of study with no
application or use, or funding of other people’s hobbies or whims
from other people’s pockets. The facilities and grounds were
upkept by a landowner whose sole business was to upkeep them, and was
paid rent by the teachers (who were paid by the students, so really
the students were paying the rent) who reserved rooms or labs for
their use. The landowners were simply providing a service to the
teachers and being paid for it, they had no business with what was
being taught or who was teaching or anything of the sort. On Earth,
colleges were seen as the last chance for the State to indoctrinate
its citizens with whatever qualities or aptitudes or beliefs it
desired. However, with the constant ebb and flow of immigration,
Mars did not have any sense of a permanent citizenry, or that the
kids growing up in their bubble would be adults living in their
bubble. Which meant teaching kids to be good adults of their bubble
was no longer important. Everyone who lived in every bubble could be
expected to be model citizens of their bubble, because they had
chosen to live there expressly because
of the bubble’s
model. If they weren’t model citizens, they would just leave to
someplace where they would be. Education was no longer a citizen
factory that produced assembly line believers. Immigration and
freedom had made such a necessity obsolete. Which meant education
could actually concentrate on instilling knowledge and promoting
thinking, a fresh breeze of change from what had become of it in the
hands of the Blues. Roland and Isolde were in this lecture because
Roland wanted to see what it was like and Isolde preferred
experiencing Stradham to ignoring what made it special, as long as
she was here. So now that we know what’s going on, let’s return
to the lecture.
“God and gravity are simply
different shortcuts used to explain phenomena people cannot explain,
or cannot comprehend. Everyone understands that things moved
according to this simple mathematical formula, nobody knew how or
why. Later on Einstein theorized that the topology of space-time
regulated the motions of objects rather than a gravitational ‘force.’
An object’s mass distorted the area around it, making it harder to
move away from it and easier to move toward it. Why
mass distorts
space-time still isn’t answered. Or rather, what is space-time,
and what is mass, such that they interact in this manner? Mass is a
quantum of resting energy. Very well, what is energy,
and how does it
interact with
space-time, to create this phenomena? At any time you please, you
can answer this question with ‘God’ or ‘a force’ or ‘a
particle’ or ‘a field’ or ‘a membrane’ or ‘a string’ or
if you’re vain enough, ‘by force of consciousness’, ‘will’,
or ‘imagination.’ But even after providing yourself with an
answer, the question is no closer to being answered! By a sleight of
hand, you’ve replaced one question for another, and only by a
careful direction of the mind, will you not ask the next obvious
question. The proverbial 2 year old with his almighty ‘why’
can destroy every
answer we give, and end us up in the same place as when we began,
just as ignorant as our 2 year old. If physics, the most precise,
testable, reality-regulated branch of thought of all, cannot provide
the real answer, but only shortcuts, or should we say short-circuits,
of thought, then we must admit that everything
we know is not true
or real, but a mental shortcut. That in fact, nobody knows anything,
we all just believe things, and agree with them, tricking our own
minds into complacency. Which, by the way, is absolutely necessary,
if we wish to be anything but meditators who clear their mind, sit
down, and for all purposes cease to exist.
The only
wisdom adults have over their 2 year old compatriots is the
willingness to accept mental shortcuts as true, and act as though
they were.
However, the moment we detach ourselves from the standard of absolute
truth, is the moment all of us become prey to error. Cicero once
said, ‘there is nothing so foolish that some philosopher has not
said it.’ If nothing we know is certainly true, then anything we
say is possibly true, and someone somewhere is willing to believe it.
Thus, we must descend from our a
priori perches, in
our disputes with all of our disagreeing compatriots, as that perch
is simply beyond us, that none yet have reached, and quite possibly
is so far beyond us, that it is physically impossible
to reach. However, it is premature to deny to all of our
descendants, with more powerful brains and more powerful tools of
observation, the right to try.” The professor paused to recollect
his thoughts from this tangent.
“But that’s neither here
nor there, the new difficulty facing us, is the proneness to error
everyone shares, and the lack of some common judge or truth, that can
decide who is right and who is wrong. Without some testing ground,
judge, or standard of measurement, no matter how
stupid your friends
or foes may be, you won’t be able to change their minds, or even
have the right to think
they’re
stupid—which we all know is a privilege far too important to give
away. This is why we’ve created mental shortcuts. The shortcuts
are not answers per
se, they are common
standards of measurement, which regulate
the answers people come up with. Before any dispute can be settled,
it must be referred to these judges, these shortcuts, which both
people have agreed to believe. Only there can a decision for or
against be made. Let us take a simple dispute, whether Jack should
trick Jill into having sex by saying anything he can think of to her,
as discussed by Jack and his friend Mack.”
Nervous laughter and murmurs
filled the room. Because the result mattered and wasn’t
theoretical, it seemed wrong to even theorize about it. Philosophy
only concerned itself with matters that would never happen, right?
“At first Jack and Mack can’t even argue, because there is
nothing they can appeal to as a commonly held judger of the rightness
or wrongness of a statement. However, being friends, luckily they
have formed many common grounds, which they appeal to variously, as
the occasion suits. Jack starts with an appeal to one judge,
“Tricking Jill is right because it will yield me pleasure,” the
shortcut is that Pleasure is now an arbitrator of right and wrong.
Mack counters with “Lying to Jill is wrong because it violates her
rights,” the shortcut is that people have Rights which arbitrate
our choices. Still this doesn’t work, because Jack and Mack do not
share the same mental shortcut. That is, two different judges in two
different courts have passed two different verdicts, neither of which
have any authority over each other. Mack, seeing this, tries a new
approach, more in line with Jack’s system of thought, as Jack is
more likely to yield his agreement to the verdict created by his own
courtroom than another’s. “Supposing pleasure the arbitrator,
the amount you gain will be less than the amount she loses.”
However, Jack quickly amends his courtroom, to stay on top. “Only
my pleasure
matters.” So Mack must try again from this point of agreement.
“Even with only your own pleasure to consider, you will cause more
harm to yourself, be more miserable, in the long run, if you trick
Jill. Jill will eventually find out, and hate you, everyone else
will know you’re a liar not to be trusted, and nobody will take
your love seriously afterwards, even if you do feel it seriously for
someone. And those are just the consequences that are immediately
within view. Who knows if an angry brother won’t come for you in
the night? Or if sex is forever cheapened in your mind, and you lose
the ability to truly enjoy it the way it was meant to be?” Jack
quickly amends his courtroom again, “Only my pleasure right
now matters.”
Mack tries one last time, “You will feel better about yourself,
which constantly yields you more pleasure than any bodily function,
right now and
always, because of
the approbation of others and the sense of self-worth and
self-control, that you gain by avoiding low and dishonorable
conduct.” Jack disagrees, “I know what gives me pleasure better
than anyone else, being the person who is feeling it, and I proclaim
that the pleasure of having Jill supersedes everything else at the
moment.” With that, Jack gets up to walk over to Jill’s house to
give her the runaround, and Mack (who likes Jill and can’t be a
party to this sort of treatment of her) resorts to the most useful
mental shortcut, arbitrator, and point of common ground of all—he
gets back in front with fists leveled and says, “Not if I can help
it.”
A few cheers and claps from
the class were given for Mack’s choice.
“This is the common ground
Earth has found for its citizenry. Everyone does the same thing in
any given state, because if they don’t someone with a gun has
something to say about it. Without this common ground of force, of
might, of, ‘well I’m stronger, how’s that
for who’s
right?’, the people of Earth would have to fear all the Jack’s of
the world, and would be defenseless against them, all of their words
powerless to affect his line of reasoning. It is ultimately the
solution of Mars as well, but in a more limited sense, because there
are more Macks and less Jacks on Mars. What is the difference
between a Mack and a Jack? A Mack is willing to appeal to an
arbitrator that controls him, a Mack is willing, as our plaque so
concisely points out, to assume a duty. Any duty, so long as Mack is
willing to consistently assume it, is enough for him and like minded
Macks to form a cohesive community which functions well enough, we
can hope, to at least manage to survive, have children, and give
children the ability to survive and have children. And so long as
everyone shares the same mental shortcut, in all cases careful
reasoning and arguments can reveal to everyone involved, what should
be done, even if it should go against some of the Macks’ momentary
interests.
“Some shortcuts are shorter
cuts than others: for instance, ‘is this in accordance with the 10
Commandments?’ A community founded upon that as an arbitrator,
knows almost instantly, how to follow them. However, they may find
themselves lacking in many areas of thought and decision-making, and
live a sort of mentally starved and shriveled life. Other shortcuts
are so dangerously drawn out they can’t come to a conclusion of
what should be done, such as Utility. Since utility itself is
impossible to measure accurately, and no one can possibly predict
every single consequence of one’s actions for the rest of time on
everyone else, the moment someone appeals to such a Court is the
moment it gets buried in paperwork and disappears from the Judge’s
sight.
“This creates a branch of
study, that can only be described as Super-Arbitrators. Now we are
inquiring ‘what higher end should help us determine which court
regulates our lives?’ It is the difference between moral ends and
moral methodologies. Many people can agree on what
is good, even why
the good is good, but how to effect the good is an entirely separate
question. Suppose we all agree that Utility should arbitrate our
lives. The moment we do, we must agree that something else should
arbitrate our lives methodologically, for the sake of Utility the
summum bonum.
Perhaps Rights would then be invented to decide right and wrong, and
those Rights of methodology would be decided by Utility the
teleology. Utility could in turn be arbitrated by biological
feasibility. That is, ‘the usefulness or good of the activity of
life is that which promotes more powerful, more complex, more
numerous amounts of life. Certain methods of living have been shown
to best promote this evolution, such as respecting above all personal
freedom, or Rights. Thus, these Rights can be considered as absolute
and inviolate, and make a solid regulator for everyone under this
paradigm’s umbrella.’ This is getting a little complex, so let’s
go back to Mack.
“In case Mack A proposes to
trick Jill into bed to Mack B, Mack B need only cite Jill’s Rights,
absolute and inviolate, to stop Mack A in his tracks. Even though
neither Mack
believes these Rights exist anywhere but in their own minds, created
only for their own convenience, they still ascribe absolute,
universal, even sacred authority to their judgments.
This is because they all know that without giving authority to
Rights, they would have to give it to something worse, or nothing at
all. Because they are civilized Macks they’d rather give Rights
authority than Might, the final authority wherever others are
lacking. Mack still keeps his gun in his pocket, however, as the
appellate court for any Jacks in Macks’ clothing. This is all a
mental construct, from top to bottom, even the summum
bonum-methodology organization is a mental construct of
mental constructs,
however, the willingness of people to agree with it and act as if it
were absolute and inviolate, sacred and universal, is the only way we
escape the 2 year olds, the Jacks, and the guys who are sitting
somewhere with cleared minds. And this is why we are here together,
hoping to form them. Not for the sake of truth, but for the sake of
something,
we know not what, which we can hold as true.”
The class got up all of a
piece and clapped for Mitchell’s lesson. Mitchell seemed to take a
long breath and toss away his role as teacher, returning to another
person simply standing in the classroom, shrinking back into himself
from out of all the air in the room that had been permeated with his
voice.
“You know,” Isolde said to
Roland as they watched people filter away. “I couldn’t tell this
apart from the sermon in Geneva.” Isolde grinned. “Except that
here, everyone gives different sermons, and nobody believes any of
them, not even the people giving them.”
“But that’s the beauty of
it!” Roland exclaimed, “This is the only place honest enough
with itself, to teach us that knowledge isn’t real.”
“That sounds an awful lot
like nihilism. And besides, if we don’t know anything, how come we
understand things well enough to make Bubbles and cars? Obviously
there is truth
and we must at least be really
close to
understanding how it works.”
“Come on, Mitchell didn’t
say truth didn’t exist. He even said that maybe someday, when
we’re smarter and can gather more information, we’ll find it.
He’s just being practical about what choices we can make, with what
we know now.”
“Oh, great, now you know him
by name. I suppose he’s coming back for dinner tonight to tell us
more?” Isolde jabbed. Roland’s danger sense prickled and he
tried to avert her anger before it had time to build.
“I’m sorry. I know we’ve
spent a week here, which was a lot longer than Sao Paolo, and that’s
not fair to you. And I know you don’t like it here, you’ve been
mad the whole time. I thought maybe you’d grow to like it, but I
guess I was wrong. So here, let’s just leave tomorrow, and go to
wherever you want to take us. I think this place is amazing, but
there’s plenty of time for me to come back to it later.”
“I’m not mad at Stradham.
This is a nice bubble, I can see a lot of hope and exhilaration here.
A lot of people are being the people they want to be, and that makes
me happy. Even seeing you full of yourself here makes me happy.”
“Then what’s the problem?
I’ve felt really bad keeping you here. You’ve been so
antagonistic.”
“Because from the moment you
got here you’ve virtually ignored me!” She finally spelled out,
trying to drill through his thick skull. “The only time you even
notice me is when I disturb your blissful rapport with everyone
here!”
“That’s not true!”
Roland cringed inwardly. This could be really bad, if she believed
this. “I’ve taken you everywhere I go! I haven’t ignored you
at all!”
“Everywhere you go, all you
do is show me again and again how unimportant I am and how important
everything else is. It’s like a continuous insult!”
“That’s ridiculous! Of
course you’re more important!” Why would she say such a thing?
Hadn’t he always loved her as much as anyone can love anyone?
“Oh? Then what about when
we got here? When you were ready to pity me like some unbaptized
heathen and leave me with a promise to pray for my soul if I said the
wrong thing?” She was really mad. This must be the crux of it, and
yet Roland couldn’t even remember if or when that happened. He
didn’t even know what she was referring to.
“I’ve never even thought
of leaving you. By
God, Isolde, you’re all I have. Do you have any idea how small I’d
be without you?”
“That’s just a lie! I saw
it in your eyes. You were ready to. You were about
to. You love a
stupid plaque more than me!”
A memory clicked in his mind
and he suddenly knew what she was talking about. When he had asked
her if she really disagreed with the entrance signs. . .and she had
been bottling it up this whole time, getting madder and madder,
interpreting everything else as more and more of the same—it’s a
wonder she hadn’t exploded before.
“Isolde. . .yes, I thought
you were wrong about it, that you weren’t giving Stradham a chance.
. .and I’ve always thought this place was really special, so I
really hoped you would like it, so I was really disappointed when you
didn’t. . .but then you did
agree, and now you
say you do like
it, so why is there any conflict?”
“Because! Because what if I
didn’t? What if I hated this place? How could you be so willing
to throw me away just if I disagreed about one little thing with
you?”
“I’m not! I wasn’t!
And besides, you wouldn’t be you,
if you didn’t agree and hated this place, so what does it even
matter? Am I supposed to love versions of you that are your complete
opposites, or you?”
“If you weren’t ready to
leave me then why are you still trying to justify it if you were?”
Isolde pursued, somewhere between shouting and crying.
“Because I don’t know what
to do, so I’m saying everything and anything to get you back,
because I’m terrified! That’s why! Gods, Isolde, if you’re
angry because a plaque got between us, think how I feel, to find out
your anger over a plaque is now enough to get between us just the
same! When have you ever thought I was a liar? And now you’ve
called me one three times!”
“Don’t turn this around on
me! That does it! I can’t have this conversation any longer.”
Isolde turned and walked away. Roland swallowed. Was he supposed to
follow? Was he supposed to let her cool off? Was he supposed to
assume she never would, and that it was over, just like that? He
trembled at the thought. She couldn’t do that. Not like this. So
fast. And never even giving him a chance. She wouldn’t abandon
him, and all these years they’d shared, just like that. She
couldn’t. All the while she was walking further away. She hadn’t
stopped or turned around. Maybe she didn’t want to talk anymore,
but she would cool down, and be okay later. In that case, he would
anger her more by following her, but she had already decided to
forgive him, and would forgive him eventually. But if she wanted him
to follow her, and was seeing if he would, then if he didn’t, she
really might think he didn’t care about her anymore. It was
stupid, but he had to follow, because the risk was just too high. So
he ran her down and grabbed her wrist, stopping her short, holding
her even when she tried to wrench away.
“Let go of me!” She
eventually turned furiously, glaring death at him.
“Not until you tell me we
aren’t over.” Roland held her tight.
“You can’t make
me do things! You
can’t use force
on me! Roland!” She tried to call him back to his senses. He was
hurting her.
“I won’t let you leave
me!” He shouted. “Not like this! You have no right to leave me
like this! No
right! I love you,
and I have loved you, with the most absolute and unquestionable love
possible. I haven’t looked
at another girl. I
haven’t called you one bad name! I haven’t lied to you once!
I’ve treated you with the most incredible respect and courtesy and
even reverence.
I’ve held you close and never wanted to let go! I haven’t
demanded anything more from you than
to hold you close!
And you dare to
say I don’t love you? You walk
away and expect me
to just watch? You have no right! Not when I love you more than
anything and everything in the whole universe!” His grip was
trembling with the strain.
Isolde lost all her fury
somewhere halfway through his answer. Now she was just looking quiet
and small. “oh.”
The week had passed as quickly
as it came. Lucinda had lived through it in a daze. She learned how
to keep house with Theresa. How to invite guests. How to be polite
and not offend anyone. How to cook. How to sew. Anything to keep
her mind off Sacripant. She suspected Theresa was training her for
the same reason. He had left at the very beginning of the week to
“get back in shape.” He hadn’t wanted either of them around to
distract him. They hadn’t heard from him at all. She was going
crazy with worry. Theresa had asked carefully about the nature of
her relationship with ‘Pan.’ Lucinda still didn’t feel she had
the right to call him by that name, not even in her thoughts. She
knew it and it saddened her every time Theresa said it. The truth
was, Lucinda’s relationship was with Sacripant, and Theresa’s was
with Pan, and it came clear to both of them who was the premier of
the two. Only Lucinda didn’t know if that’s what Theresa wanted.
Perhaps Theresa didn’t even know. She was only a widow of two
weeks. She didn’t dare search her heart for anything, for fear she
would find something so soon.
But then, Lucinda thought, it
wouldn’t be so soon. It would just be the same as always. Theresa
wasn’t changing her heart, she’d loved Sacripant all along. That
made it okay, right? Well, she shouldn’t exactly hope that it was
alright for Theresa to love Sacripant. But in another way she did
hope just that. Because she had seen the way he’d looked at her,
and the way he’d talked about her, and she couldn’t help but love
Theresa a little too, just from that. She did love Sacripant. She
realized that now that he was gone and how much she missed him. But
it was a such a tentative and shy love, that she still hoped for
nothing more than maybe to hold his hand or a hug or just to see him
alright again. She didn’t know how to love. She was just sixteen,
after all. And nobody she knew back home had made her feel anything
but fear and loathing. She was willing to bet that whatever she was
feeling wasn’t really love, because she just couldn’t believe she
could love anyone. If someone told her that what she felt was just
an infatuation, she would’ve agreed with a sigh of relief, and
given it up.
“It’s time.” Theresa
said, paler than when they first met.
“I know.” Lucinda said.
Gathering up her stuff. He hadn’t even met them before the duel.
He hadn’t even had some goodbye party or something. Did that mean
he expected to win? Or that he felt dying was the best goodbye he
could give? Why didn’t boys ever explain themselves? For the
first time in her life she was going to watch someone be killed. Not
just find some pale wasted carcass in a gutter with pupils forever
dilated in worship of his destroyer. Not just see a bunch of dead
people crushed in some riot. Two people really trying to kill each
other. And one of them the man she loved. She could barely walk
just thinking about that. Somehow when she had escaped El Dorado she
hadn’t been this afraid.
Sacripant had decided that
another day with his sword was better spent than a day with the
girls. First, he wanted them to get used to the idea of only having
each other. Letting them pull each other through now would help them
pull each other through later. Mutual suffering and hardship was the
firmest bond between people. Next, he could really improve his
chances in the fight with another day of practice, and that would
give him the chance to live eighty more years with his loved ones,
instead of just one more day. Last, there wasn’t anything really
left to say, to either of them. He felt they were in good hands, and
that he had not left anything important unsaid between them. The
advantage of always being forthright beforehand was that you didn’t
have to run around being forthright afterwards, to set any records
straight.
He felt perfectly calm.
Everything from here on was living on borrowed time, he’d
reconciled himself to being dead a week ago. He was just a ghost
with some unfinished business left. He’d carefully crossed out all
other wishes and feelings until he was steadily focused and
comfortable with this alone. When he had sized Gregario up, he had
decided on a suicidal tactic. He could not beat him and expect to
live. So he would beat him and expect to die. Maybe not even that,
but this was his best chance. The longer the fight, the less chance
was involved, and the more skill and strength had its chance to come
into effect. Which meant Sacripant’s best chance at winning the
duel was beginning and ending it with one stroke. The maximum amount
of randomness was involved in that kind of a fight. So that’s
where he was laying out his bet. Which meant he was going to die in
the first stroke of the duel. Nobody would even have time to worry
or fear for him. It would just be start-plop-done. He guessed some
people might think his death somewhat ignoble, but it was likely he’d
at least cut
Gregario, if not kill him, in return. With that alone he would have
died more successfully than Sal. Though Sal had slipped. It wasn’t
fair to wish he had at least impaired Gregario a little for him
before dying. Well, maybe his victory would look better this way, if
he won. Winning without the help of anyone, or because of any other
factor than himself. Whatever. Stop thinking about what will happen
after you die. After you die you’ll be dead, and you won’t care
what happens. It won’t matter at all to you. You could die in the
most stupid pathetic way you wanted and you wouldn’t be around to
be ashamed about it, so it doesn’t matter in the least. The people
who matter to you will understand, the rest can think whatever they
want. You know the content of your heart, you don’t have to
justify it to anyone. Just think about getting in the ring and
trying your best. That’s what’s left to care about, just that.
Just doing what you’ve trained to do in as professional a manner as
possible.
Well, here was the elm ring.
People were already clustered in waiting. Somehow people always knew
when a duel was going to happen. And they always watched, quietly
and solemnly. It was much like the feeling inside a church. The
ritual or ceremony that carried with it the meaning and value of
their lives was being acted out before them, and it always made them
pause and lower their eyes. Religion is always somewhere in
everybody, there is always something sacred that people revere. Life
would be pointless without it. It would have been odd to think of
these people, watching a sport that used to be the cheap sadistic
thrills of the Romans, here watched it in a state of grace. The
difference was not the fighting, it was the meaning people attached
to it. Reality must bend and twist to the whim of the interpreters,
even turn inside out or upside down. It all depended on how one
looked at it, whether dueling was sacred or profane.
And there was Theresa. She
had carefully combed out her hair. She was wearing black for
everyone to see. She seemed calm as well. Awaiting vindication.
Well, he was going to try. And there was Lucinda. Poor Lucinda, who
still wanted him to live. She wasn’t calm at all. She was looking
at him with so much fear and curiosity and frustration, deciding
whether to yell at him for abandoning her or yelling for him to do
his best. She still thought what she would do would somehow matter
to him. That it would somehow result in some different outcome.
She’d never seen him fight, so he supposed it was only fair she
thought he had a chance. Well, Theresa would explain it to her
afterwards, what he had tried to do, or maybe would do. There was no
telling.
Good. At least he had come.
It would’ve been an intolerable insult if he hadn’t. Gregario
wasn’t surprised Sacripant had come. So he had just been posturing
for his friends. He wasn’t totally stupid at sizing up others.
Which lowered Sacripant’s chances another notch. Gregario was
expecting to meet a brave and determined enemy. He would not have
his guard down, or underestimate his opponent. Oh well. It was only
fair. Winning through the other’s sheer stupidity wasn’t what
duelists should rely upon. Three steps up the stairs. They were
standing on opposite sides. Gregario’s eyes were black.
“Anyone who leaves this ring
forfeits their lives. Nobody shall intervene in the duel once it has
begun.” A mediator explained. “The duel will not end until
someone is dead.” There was no turning back now. There had been
plenty of opportunities before now, but there were none given after.
“Duelers, are you ready?”
Gregario nodded. A nervous light grew in the bottom of Sacripant’s
stomach. His body thrummed with expectant energy. Fear was
everywhere. He was breathing it and humming with it. It made him
strong. Sacripant nodded as well.
“Begin!” Gregario lifted
his sword into an upward stance. His height and strength were
advantages he was going to employ to their full extent. Sacripant
had guessed this. It was the only logical choice. Time dilated. He
was running forward, his sword not yet fully drawn. Gregario’s
eyes narrowed. Surprised, but not yet concerned. He lunged forward,
the sword in a smashing arc for Sacripant’s head. Sacripant drew
his sword out with all his strength, wrists slanted above the blade’s
path. The two swords met, Sacripant’s momentum did not stop, his
blade slid up and off Gregario’s. Gregario had a moment to
readjust his blade’s arc on Sacripant’s now unguarded body.
Sacripant flipped his wrists to below the arc of his blade, it was
now freely and with all of its strength still intact flying for
Gregario’s neck. Both swords plunged uninhibited into flesh.
Blood flew. It could not have taken more than five seconds from the
start to the finish.
Gregario’s head hopped off
his shoulders and rolled a bit. His eyes were frozen with a look of
shock. Sacripant fell over, Gregario’s sword still inside him. It
had gone through his shoulder and was lodged somewhere in his
ribcage. The blow had gone through many bones, which had slowed it
down. Gregario’s aim had been diverted just enough.
Lucinda blinked. She was too
surprised to faint. People were already rushing onto the elevated
ring to help Sacripant. Physicians rushed Sacripant away under their
care. Friends collected Gregario’s body with an unperturbed
resignation. After a few minutes, it was like the duel had never
been. Except for all the blood that hadn’t been cleaned yet. And
the elms which had watched, and under the suzerainty of their long
lives tallied up another sacrifice to their altars. Theresa took
Lucinda’s arm and guided her home.
Wherein Everyone Leaves
Home
“Christ, the thing’s
huge!” Jenson stepped out of his car to observe the spaceship
being inflated. “How does it even hold itself up? How will it
ever get off the ground? Ten million Spruce Gooses could fit in
there!”
Ben laughed. “I don’t
know about that. But it is impressive. I hear the bubble is just a
casing of a synthetic fiber lattice. Honestly, I let Loretti and his
engineers worry about stuff like that. Whenever things are looking
really bad, I come and watch these. I’m glad you finally decided
to join me. These ships are just beautiful.”
“I’ve been busy.”
Jenson excused himself. “We’ve been looking into using all the
underground space all the miners leave behind. Can you believe it?
After they go through all that work digging the real estate out, once
they’re done they just let water and mud and rocks fill it up
again.”
“Underground farming? What
do you use without the sun?” Ben asked, surprised.
“Oh it’s still solar
power, we just buy the electricity and send it down by cable. Not
the most efficient method, but. . .”Jenson shrugged. “The
higher the price of food rises, the more marginal and inefficient
methods of growing crops become available for exploitation. The only
problem is all the competition that’s trying to use it for other
things. Can you believe it? They want to make the mines into jails.
They figure prisoners will be less likely to escape and less likely
to want to go back once they’ve been stuck in a dark hole for
twenty years. And besides, they say, jails on the surface depress
the property value of all the area around it. It’s a social
eyesore or something.”
Ben nodded. “Why not let
the jails take up the mines, and then use the jails left behind on
the surface for farmland?”
Jenson smiled wryly. “Somehow
it doesn’t work that way. The more jails the State has, the more
criminals suddenly need to go there. I’m sure the State would love
to see us all in jail if they could just afford to build enough of
them. No, they wouldn’t suffer to let a single jail cell go empty,
above ground or below.”
“You’re such a cynic,
Jenson.” Ben shook his head. It was peculiar though. In the
history books crime was so uncommon they used to not even have an
official police force. Now they took up around one percent of the
population. And around five percent were in jail. Add another
couple percent for security guards, wardens, courts, judges, lawyers,
private investigators, clerks. . .maybe one in ten people was either
living off crime or living off stopping crime. . .economically the
distinction hardly mattered, both were just expenses without any
corresponding productivity. Both were just weights the other ninety
percent had to shoulder in addition to their own. Then add in the
military, a sort of international police force whose sole job was to
stop international crimes, plus all the manufacturers that supported
the military, the clerks, the bureaucracy, the spy agencies, how much
of the economy was sunk into that? Another five percent? A lot more
in some places. Ben could only dream of what Metzburg could have
done with that kind of money. He could have fed the world twice over
with fifteen percent more of the GDP in his hands.
“Besides, this is the first
time a Balloon’s actually launching. I only listen to the four or
five note climaxes of the great classics, the rest is just filler.
But what do they hope to gain by going to the Moon?”
“Rocks and sunlight. Some
lebensraum.” Ben recalled himself. “That’s worth something.”
Jenson disagreed by not
commenting.
“Plus they get away from us.
The more I think about how screwed up the Earth has become the more
enticing that is.”
“Every generation says
that.” Jenson said. “ ‘Oh, things used to be so much better.
This world’s going straight to hell.’ All the while we’re
getting richer and living longer, healthier, more interesting lives.”
“It’s different this
time.” Ben smiled. Jenson seemed so contrary that he would even
affirm how great life was if that meant disagreeing with someone.
“Life is different now. I’m not sure how, but I know this isn’t
just one more endless cycle. Everything has changed so rapidly that.
. .the past can’t really help us predict the future anymore. I
wouldn’t dare tell you what things are going to be like in fifty
years, and I’m likely to even live
to see it. Do you
realize how scary that is? People living to see a future they
couldn’t even imagine as children?
“Oh, I agree it keeps
changing. But except for that whole 500 AD-1500 AD slump, it’s
always been for the better.”
Ben laughed. “Except for
that little slump? Do you realize that even in 1900
the Czars of Russia felt the need to borrow the light of the Roman
Empire to distinguish their country’s glory? In 1800 there was a
Holy Roman Emperor over the Germans that Rome had never even
conquered and were even conquered
by? Progress isn’t
inevitable. It isn’t natural or necessary. At any time, humanity
could blow it all, lose everything, fall back into barbarism or go
extinct. At any time, if we take a wrong turn, the future can go
backwards. Just look at what the Mayans did to themselves. Over
some petty civil war, over which city-state got to strut around on
top of the chain, they destroyed each other’s irrigation networks,
which took out the whole basis of their economy, and the entire
population was reduced to a mere shell of its past overnight. Or
when the Chinese Emperor was influenced by the court scribes to
destroy the wealth and prestige of the court eunuchs, because they
were jealous, so, sorry guys, the Great Fleet which had traveled all
the way to Africa and back and all the technology and knowledge
imbedded in it one hundred years before Columbus went up in flames.
The scariest thing is all it takes is one stupid decision, one bad
king, one war, to destroy what it took hundreds of years to make.
It’s a miracle we even made it this far, there’s no reason to
believe we’ll just magically keep getting further.”
“The past was different.
Back then civilization was fragile because there was no redundancy to
the system.” Jenson fought back. “If Meng-Ho’s fleet were
burned today, there’d still be a million libraries and a billion
websites that could tell us how to make another. Millions of people
with the skills to do it. There’s just too many people and too
much information in too many places, for anything to stamp us out
again. Not unless this whole planet went up in flames.”
Ben allowed himself to smile.
“Maybe you’re right. I’ve been cooped up in my office looking
at figures too long. So what if unemployment keeps going up because
machinery keeps surpassing us at every job we can think of? So what
if the Earth’s filling up and the environment is racing towards
total annihilation? So what if younger people have to keep getting
older and more educated before they can even be made use of, before
they even gain a purpose in life or start their own families? So
what if all our medical cures have made us stare at grandfathers and
great-grandfathers and great-great-grandfathers with ever more
disturbing wishes that they would get
out of the way,
stop wasting space,
leave some for us?
So what if the amount of people on Earth has made any particular
individual’s life cheap and beneath notice. If we can just get off
this planet, and preserve all our discoveries and inventions and
works of art and words of wisdom, then humanity has won.
We’ll be immortal and invincible, no matter what particular or
local problems each of us have. We’ll all have that seed, all that
worked up wealth, that huge accumulated capital, of knowledge, and
we’ll never be close enough together, or under any single factor
such as a tyrant or a plague or a supernovae, to end it all. If we
all can succeed,
and nothing short of God’s own hand can stop all
of us. . then
someone will
get it right. Someone will make our species work.”
The Balloon was inflated.
Miles and miles of fabric stretched out to their full extent, lifting
millions of tons of air, water, people and property. Slowly and
minutely, impossibly, the behemoth left the ground—floating away,
lighter than air.
“The Martians will hate us
for this.” Jenson noted, watching the future take flight.
“Their grandchildren will
love us, though.” Ben replied.
There was a knock at Theresa’s
door. Theresa looked up from her chair, positioned across from her
bed. Sacripant was in a drugged sleep. Lucinda looked at Theresa,
then back to the door, and with a small sigh gave up her watch to
answer it. Theresa wouldn’t have moved if they had bashed the door
down.
“Greetings, stranger.”
She curtsied to the man in her doorway. She smiled inside her head.
Sacripant wouldn’t laugh at her anymore. She hadn’t been called
an ‘outsider doll’ for days.
“My lady,” The man bowed
as politely. “We thought you might want this.” He handed her an
official-looking document with a large number written on it.
“Oh, but. . .I don’t know
how we can pay any more bills. . .it’s enough just taking care of
Sacripant. The doctor’s been kind enough to treat him without
charge, but we still try to do everything we can for him. . .”
The man smiled and shook his
head. “Ach, you’re a cute one, you know that?” She blushed.
“It’s not a bill. If you win a duel, you win everything. It
makes things simpler for how to dispose of the dead man’s goods.
We didn’t think you’d want his furniture or knickknacks, so we’ve
been busy liquidating it all so we could give it to you. This is
what he’s worth.”
Lucinda dropped the check and
rubbed her hand as if scrubbing away grease. “Blood
money? By God,
just when I thought this place was bad enough. How could you? How
could anyone justify. . .liquidating
people who lose?
What if he had children? A widow? How would they live?”
“Then you could give what
money back that you wished, like a hospitable and generous and kind
person, and we would thank you for it.” The man said coldly. “But
in this case, Gregario had no such relations, and besides, most of
this is just what he took from your Salazar, and since you are
the widow, then
surely you’ll have no objection to getting his money.”
“Oh, I’m not. . .I’m
just a guest here.” She flustered. She kept forgetting that
custom handled things here rather than law. . She could curtsy now,
but she was still an outsider, looking in and making imperious
criticisms without understanding anything.
Good
existed long before somebody thought to write it down. Whether a law
wrote something about it on a piece of paper was not necessary or
vital to people who’d already written it in their hearts. Many
people obeyed laws not out of fear but because they felt the laws
were right, and wouldn’t ‘break’ them even if they weren’t
written. Many people gave to charities of their own will, without
any compulsion, simply because they believed it the right thing to
do. Many people would jump into a river to save a drowning man
without any thought of themselves, or run into a burning house to
save another person’s children. Compulsion was not the root and
heart of all moral resources and moral people, good people always had
been and always would be good regardless of what the law was,
goodness was as inherent to humanity as heat to fire or brightness to
light, one could not separate the adjective from the noun. The
people here just found other ways to exercise these moral resources.
The guest interrupted her
chain of thought. “Then I’ll just leave this here, and my
compliments to your household. Do with it as you please. Burn it if
it makes you feel so tainted. It’s no longer my business.”
“Wait! I’m sorry. Would
you like some tea? I’m just new here and sometimes I just say
stupid things, I’m truly sorry.”
“It’s fine, it’s hard to
get angry with children for any length of time, clumsiness is half
their charm. But I’m not here to fraternize with my friend’s
killer’s Outsider stray, so if you’ll excuse my ingratitude. . .”
“If you’re Gregario’s
friend, why don’t you challenge Sacripant?” She blurted out.
“Why hasn’t anyone? He’s so helpless right now, and now we
have all this money you could take. . .”
He shook his head. “Miss,
you have a lot to learn about people.” He turned and walked away.
Lucinda felt horribly stupid. How could they all be so noble and so
horrible to each other at the same time? How could a friend of
Gregario be so nice to her when on that night they had been so
absolutely horrible? Well, maybe he hadn’t been there. . .but
then, how could he have liked anyone who had
been that horrible?
Maybe he didn’t know that side of his friend. Or maybe they
really had thought she was a whore and he was a coward, and only now
were they nice, because Sacripant had proven himself to them? It
made no sense. . .deciding she wasn’t a whore, because she was no
longer associated with a coward? Was that how it worked in their
minds? A whore—yes, this must be it—a whore was a girl who slept
with men without
honor. A flash of
understanding of Palermo thought, and then gone again. Because what
right did they have to judge her
method of selection
just because it was against theirs.
. .the code.
I’ll show them the
code. . .this
bubble just breathed
with arrogance. . .
“Who was it, Lucinda?”
Theresa called.
“Oh.” Lucinda recalled
herself. She picked up the check and walked back. After all, this
money was all they had to live with for the foreseeable future. “A
man came, and brought me this.” She handed the check over.
“Ahhh.” Theresa took it,
breathing a heavy sigh of relief. “I was wondering if they were
actually going to renege. It’s been days.”
“They said they had trouble
selling all of his stuff. Maybe it was a lot?”
“Yes, it’s a lot. Look at
this, he must have accumulated five, six people’s life savings in
his duels. Including mine.
The butcher.”
“I don’t understand. His
friend who came was so nice. Why doesn’t he just challenge
Sacripant and kill him now and take it all back?”
Theresa looked at her oddly.
“What’s the honor in that? Killing a cripple and robbing a widow
twice-over of money you had absolutely nothing to do with in making?
What do you think we are, monsters?”
“No. . .” Lucinda
whispered. “I’m the monster. . .it’s me. . .I keep imagining
what El Doradons would do given the same chance.”
Theresa softened. “Come
here, child.” She stroked Lucinda’s hair and looked in her eyes.
“You left El Dorado, remember? You left it because it has nothing
to do with you. You’re a beautiful, wonderful girl who’s never
hurt anyone.”
Lucinda tried to stop her
tears. “I know, I know. Somehow I just keep needing to be
reminded of that, though, or I forget.” She smiled a broken smile
of contrition.
“I want to ask you
something, Lucinda.” Theresa gathered herself up with
determination to finish what she’d begun. “I want to ask you. .
.if you intend to have Pan’s hand.”
Lucinda blushed furiously. “I
would never—“
“No, stop. Start over. And
this time seriously, I’m earnestly asking you, do you want Pan for
yourself. Remember that lying here is seen as the worst insult
possible. Lying to me to make me feel better is not what I want.
Just get that vile concept out of your head—I mean. . .not vile. .
.just please don’t think like that with us.” Theresa was just as
confident of the
code as the others.
It made Lucinda a little nervous inside. She had thought she could
live here, but she really wasn’t
like the others.
The others were so sure of themselves, of how they were living. And
Lucinda was never sure of herself, or anything. She was afraid of
saying anything because she knew she’d be wrong and look stupid.
But wait, Theresa had asked her about Sacripant. Wow. She really
hadn’t thought about her answer the first time. It had just been
automatic. Okay, this time for real.
“I think that depends on
you.” Lucinda finally answered. “He loves you, I think. . .the
way any girl could wish to be loved. I think I’m still a child in
his eyes. Someone he’s trying to protect and help. So. .
.regardless of what I think, I think he would have you, no matter
what I tried.”
“But?”
“But. . .you gave him up.
You really hurt him, when he left and you stayed. He thinks you
didn’t love him enough. When he came here, he didn’t intend to
stay. He was trying to just get Gregario’s name and leave, because
he thought he had no right to see you anymore—see? Because you
thought so little of him. I don’t want to leave him if all it
means is you hurting him more and more. I think I could make him
happy, someday. At least more happy than if he tries for you and you
just reject him again.”
Theresa nodded. “I want to
tell you this, we—Pan and I both thought he would die in the duel.
We both thought that he would die, and you and I would take care of
each other, and there would be no conflict. I really was going to
take you in. As a link to him,
if nothing else. And because I had promised him. But now it’s
different. Somehow, some angel has spared him. And has spared me.
All the pain and loneliness I had ahead of me. Do you realize? How
absolutely alone and miserable I was, and then, incredibly, out of
nowhere, the man who had left for good, comes back the very first day
of the rest of my grief, and promises, I
will take all your pain away.”
Lucinda didn’t realize that
had happened. How many different silent dialogues had been going on
that day? What did Sacripant think she had said to him silently
then? What Theresa had said to him?
“I know it sounds incredibly
selfish of me, Lucinda, but I feel like you brought him back here for
me. That some Angel guided him back to me, because I needed him so
much. To retrieve Sal’s honor. To take care of me. To replace
the hole in my heart. I could think you were the angel, you’ve
been so sweet, if only I were that lucky. And I know you’re right.
I have no right to him anymore. I pushed him away, I chose someone
else. Even though I still loved him, I didn’t love him enough.
And you haven’t done that, you still have your whole heart to give
him, not even touched by any other man, as pure as the day it came
into the world. I know it’s unfair of me, to think my love should
have some higher claim than yours. . .”
Lucinda shook her head. “I
don’t even know what love is. It couldn’t compete with yours at
all. I’m just a little kid, and you’ve been through so much
together. All I did was find some pine needles before him, that’s
not
much of a claim.”
“You’re wrong. Listen, I
hope Pan loves me, but not if I can’t win him fairly. I don’t
want anyone’s heart that I haven’t earned, that I didn’t
deserve, and I wouldn’t deserve it if I let you think you’re
somehow inferior to me. I’m not going to trick you out of your
happiness, or use your modesty against you. We have just as much
honor as men, and we fight just as fairly, so really, truly think
about it this time. I think you love him just as much as me. . .even
if you won’t realize that until you’re older. . .but don’t let
anyone tell you that just because you’re not as old or haven’t
been around him as much or haven’t proved it by staying the
course—whatever stupid reasons they make can’t argue with what
you already know.
Love is the one thing you can be sure of in the whole world, even if
everyone else is lying and all your senses are deceiving you, you
still know
how you feel, beyond all illusion and doubt. All it takes is the
next beat of your heart to confirm that every second of your life.
If you love someone, nobody can tell you that you don’t. Not me,
not him, not anyone. Do you hear me? You can tell the whole world
to go to hell if it steps between you and your heart. Now do you
still feel the same?”
Lucinda nodded. “Thank you
for thinking that much of me, even if I don’t deserve it. But you
aren’t getting between me. I want you to have him. I really do.
Now that I know you do
want him, and I
know he wants you. I’m really happy for you.”
“Okay. . .then the next
problem. What do you intend to do once we marry? I’m sure you
would never. . .but in the same house, and you so pretty. . .it’s
awful but the rumors would just go flying, and the shame for both of
us. . .I’m not sure if you realize how much it hurts us when
someone, anyone, anywhere, thinks we’re without honor.”
Lucinda nodded again. She
swallowed. It had come to this. She realized it had to eventually.
She just hadn’t wanted to think about it yet. She croaked out
through stiff lips. “Then I’ll just have to leave.”
“You can stay as long as you
want.” Theresa quickly gave her mercy, now that Lucinda had given
her everything. “There’s plenty of time to work things out, for
you to find a new home, a new way of life. . .”
Lucinda shook her head. “I
might not be able to once I see him awake again. I have to do the
right thing while I still can. I can’t vouch for myself tomorrow.
It’s best if I go now. Even right now. It’s best if I leave and
never come back.”
“You can’t be serious! I
didn’t mean that! Lucinda, look at me, I didn’t mean you had to
leave the city, our life! I was just talking about our home.”
“I know, I know, I don’t
think anything bad about you at all.” Lucinda reassured her.
“This is something I feel I must do. You have nothing to do with
it. I know you would never hurt me or do me wrong. But I need to go
while I still can, before all of this grows into me and over me and.
. .I don’t know what I’m saying. . .I just need to go.”
Theresa watched her for a
while. Then nodded to herself. “If that’s how you feel, I’m
giving you this.” She hastily stood up and rummaged through a
drawer. She took out a check, scrawled out her name. “Here, this
is blank. Take as much of it as you think you need. Don’t tell me
no. You brought the man back who fought for this money which was my
husband’s as well as other innocent people who have now been
vindicated. This is all because of you, and all of them are thanking
you. It’s the least we can do. This is as much your money as
ours.”
Lucinda looked at the check.
Just a minute ago the money had looked so dirty she couldn’t even
touch it. And again the Pelarmans had reinterpreted it into
something entirely else, something pure and clean. How did they do
it? Their tongues were made of silver. “I will then. Thank you.
I will be okay. I’ve learned so much from all of you. I won’t
be stupid anymore, even on my own, I won’t. I promise I’ll find
some place and someone to be happy with too. And maybe I’ll visit,
once I have. Then we can both talk about how happy we are that we
did this today, right?” Lucinda couldn’t help but cry through
her reassurances.
“Oh, child, you’re the
bravest of us all.” Theresa took her in her arms and they hugged
for a long, long time.
“There’s only three weeks
before the first session begins. Are you sure you want to keep
touring?” Isolde asked as they packed up their things. They
didn’t have many of them, but staying a full week had made the
place feel more like a residence than a base camp, like those that
had gone before. Their stuff had found its way all over the place in
the week they had stayed like some case study in the law of entropy.
“Of course. I’m not
giving up any time with you that I can help.” ‘That I can help’
was the clincher, though. Time was running out on their vacation,
and there was still no assurance that they would end it together.
“That’s not good enough,”
Isolde gave him a pouty look. “You don’t even try
to like my bubbles.
At least don’t pick a fight with the gatekeeper this time, okay?”
Roland laughed. “You’re
never going to let that go, will you? Besides, I liked Geneva.”
“Uh-huh.” Isolde allowed
it suspiciously. “You certainly invoke their God enough when it
comes in handy.” She allowed her smile to show through, just
thinking about his speech the night before.
“He is helpful, at that.”
Roland smiled too. “I can’t very well say, “I’m very serious
and emotional right now,” and I can’t just start cursing your
ears off, so God just keeps coming in to save me. I don’t know
what I’d do without Him.”
“Heh. I think it’s more
than that. I think whenever the situation is really serious, we
suddenly do believe,
because we want His help just for that moment, and then once He has,
we forget again.”
“What, so now you’re a
Genevan?” Roland asked, surprised.
“Nope.” She smiled.
“I’ve forgotten too. But maybe I’ll be one every now and then,
like a skipping stone across a lake, I’ll touch Him again and
again. Maybe that’s enough for purgatory. I’m just shooting for
that safe ground, just in case, I can always climb on up to heaven
from there.”
“I think that’s even more
cynical than me.”
He teased. “So what’s this bubble I have to like? I’m not
volunteering before I know the task.”
“What, you don’t trust
me?” She gave him wide-eyed innocence.
“No! I don’t!” He
laughed. “Not when you take us into places like cyborg-land.”
“Awww, come on. They didn’t
actually do anything to you. You’re just a cyborgophobe.”
“That’s not a word.”
“It is now. You’re the
first one. Besides, you have
to like this one.
This bubble is like, one giant amusement park. That’s all it’s
for.”
“Impossible. Everyone would
get bored to death after the third day or so. Having fun is pretty
much the dullest activity in life.”
“Only because you don’t
know how to have fun.” She teased.
“Oh? Would you like to show
me?” He challenged.
“I just might.” She
accepted.
And so they had to stop
packing for a while.
Wherein Martians Discover
That All is Not Well
Roland
watched the athletes fly around the court in quiet awe. The bottom
was a giant trampoline, but if the athletes were good, once they
really got going, they no longer had to touch the floor. Platforms
and rings dangling from the ceiling and springs on the walls gave
these people the ability to wander around the entire area, swinging,
glancing, bouncing, but never losing their original speed. They
negotiated all the obstacles with the ease that Roland could walk
across the ground. Everything was a tool for them to change
directions or speeds, up and down alongside north, south, east, and
west. Mars was such a tentative and small mother, nothing she did
could convince them to come back down, they were for all purposes
free and independent of all the limits their bodies had hoped to
impose upon them. The game was simple, like all incredibly complex
games, a sort of 3-d lacrosse. The players tried to get the ball
into the net, passing it to each other and catching it with nets
attached to poles. There was no hitting each other, but flying into
each other was okay. Body tackles sent both people flying with a new
vector neither predicted until they found some new surface to bounce
off, which usually disrupted the play enough to seize back the ball.
The other form of defense was intercepting passes, which made for a
huge mental game of calculating and predicting how everyone else
would push off what and where they needed to be to stop them. All of
this occurred in real time and flowed continuously, everyone had to
keep track of all twelve players and their own movements and all the
obstacles in the court, which usually changed places and shapes from
match to match. This was Mars’ native sport, a small advantage
they’d coaxed out of the small G to play with. But Roland saw it
for the first time here in Mirmansk. They were the only ones with
enough spare time and money to build the arenas and nurture the
skills, at least currently. Roland thought a lot of people would
make time
and money for the chance to fly, if they ever saw this. It was a
shame he’d never bothered to treat his body as anything more than
an annoyance, and left it as uncoordinated and weak as the day he’d
come out of the womb, or he would do it too. But still. . .it was
just a game. Living for this would reduce people to things less
important than this game, and this game wasn’t important at all.
Oh, the game certainly required much more from people than they
usually employed in life. A well-toned body with reflexes so fast
and sure they never even asked the brain what to do, and a brain so
fast and calculating it resembled a sort of psychic computer. Oh,
and probably determination, perseverance, hard work, and all that.
But if all those qualities, nice as they were, were employed to feed
an ant, they would be just as wasted as throwing a ball into a net.
If the world was about throwing balls into nets, then people would be
no better than the lacrosse sticks they threw the balls with. Roland
thought about the Bolivian movie and smiled. Now if these same
people were using all these skills to kill each other, that
would be admirable.
Funny how that worked. Humans were still hunter-gatherers wandering
the Steppe, as far as evolution was concerned. Sometimes that really
got on his nerves.
“Break!”
The coach called, and it really was beautiful how the players found
new walls and springs that would slow them down and deliver them at
the door. After a few more bounces, leisurely and relaxed and
laughing, the group finally landed slowly enough to absorb the shock
with their knees, and walk across the trampoline floor.
Roland
turned and left, as alone as he began. There was something clean
about watching the world instead of touching it. Vicariousness.
Voyeurism. Virtual Reality. But Roland didn’t see the problem
with it. Everyone lived in a virtual reality, interpreting their
sensations to fit their wishes or memories or beliefs. Gods and
demons, ghosts and magic, witches and saints, miracles and
Incarnations and reincarnations, all of it crafted out of hopes and
dreams, and yet more real to the people who lived in that dream, than
the world itself. It was all virtual. Stories going across the
screen. The story of the apple that fell. The story of the bathtub
whose water rose. The story of the insect wing that created vortices
to stay airborne. The story of a star’s life and death over
billions of years, told with a single glimpse of its constituent
element’s absorption lines. Stories of empires and men that grew
and shrunk, one after another, redrawing lines on a virtual map,
telling stories to themselves of their own greatness. Stories people
wrote in their hearts about who they were and why they were better
than everyone else. Stories of delirious teenagers, of how perfect
the pretty girl next door was. If anyone could with a straight face
tell Roland that reality was not virtual, that person would have to
live such a restricted existence as to resemble a mathematical point.
Just repeating its one sure thing, ‘I think therefore I am’.
Which would justify any virtual entity in a computer game or
character in a book just as much. Didn’t they think? Don’t they
exist, as far as they’re concerned, as much as we do as far as
we’re concerned? All reality took was a mind, whatever the mind
played with was immaterial, it was as real as the mind’s capacity
to envision it. If the mind could imagine a world as distinctly as
it sensed, they’d be equally virtual and equally real. And in
general, Roland’s imagined worlds and virtual existences, in the
past, or the future, or in some other place in the present, or as
some other person, were far better than this one. They were lands
without pain and without limits. The only thing reality had that his
imagination didn’t was Isolde. He was tied to her, and through her
the rest of reality. Otherwise his mind would just spin and spin and
spin, some unconnected flywheel, thinking furiously in some pocket
universe, so happily and so quickly, without ever moving a belt or
turning a gear nearby. If in some other reality he had Isolde and
not this one, he would have left for it long ago. Wait. . .Roland
just realized something inextricably huge. Too vast to even think
out in words. He’d just found the answer to the most important
question in his life. Maybe he should have tried taking time to be
alone more often. He was suddenly the happiest person in at least a
four square kilometer area. That was a saying a lot—after all,
this bubble was an amusement park.
Isolde
was about ready to scream. There were no stores! None! Nobody
wanted to sell her anything! There were certain necessities she was
running out of and couldn’t do without. This was ridiculous. She
would have to go to some other bubble, pick up enough stuff for the
week or so, then come back. Roland would laugh at her the whole
time, telling her this bubble had been her choice. Roland ever
having the upper hand was unthinkable, so she stopped the first
person who had the misfortune of crossing her path for interrogation.
“What’s
wrong with this place!” She asked nicely. “How do you people
live without any stores! Where did you get those clothes? Where is
that sandwich from? Where are you hiding all your stuff!”
The
man decided to take it as a joke, seeing as how Isolde was a young
pretty woman. “Stores! We don’t produce here, we consume!”
He laughed and walked off, as though that somehow explained it.
So
she waited for the next person to walk by. She had all the patience
of a leopard in its tree. This time a little girl was attempting to
fly a kite. Isolde pounced.
“Here,
let me help you with that. I’ll hold it up, and you can lead it
with the string.” The girl smiled and ran off. After a few
tosses, though, the kite still hadn’t made it for more than a few
seconds.
The
girl sulked. “Daddy promised to make it windy today!” Isolde
blinked. The whole bubble?
She knew this was the bubble of the super-rich, but. . .
“Here
now, a day is a long time. I’m sure it’ll get windy before long.
Meanwhile, would you like to hear a story?”
The
girl gave her a suspicious look concerning Isolde’s optimism, but
stayed to listen before she made a final judgment.
“Once
upon a time a tourist came into this bubble and wanted to buy a new
dress, because. . .she was expecting a prince to dance with at the
ball that night.” Isolde’s fairy tale lore was the only thing
she could think of extemporaneously. “But to her distraughtetude,
there were no stores with dresses! She stamped her foot and asked to
the air, “How oh how shall I be dressed for the ball tonight, if
there are no stores?”
The
girl giggled. “That’s silly! She just needs to order one.”
“Well,
thank goodness, the air responded just
that.” Isolde
was on the scent now. “And Cinderella was still
confused, and asked
the air, “But where oh where can I order my dress from? And where
will it come once I’ve ordered it? The ball is in only 9 hours!”
“Why,
from a computer, and it comes to your doorstep automatically.”
“And
even after the air had told Cinderella this, she was confused, “but
where shall I find a computer then? And what if I have no doorstep?”
“Then
she would have to ask for someone else to help her until her home and
all her stuff was made.” The girl frowned. “Cinderella must be
really poor to be here without a home.”
“Yes,
well, Cinderella is
very poor. The
poorest neglected daughter of an evil stepmother. She has to scrub
the floor every day and only gets cheese to eat.”
“That’s
awful!” The girl listened with wide eyes. “She has to scrub the
floor for food?”
“Yes,
but, one night a fairy came down and turned her into a princess, and
she won the prince’s heart, but it all turned back to pumpkins at
midnight. . .well, except a glass slipper. And so the prince found
her and gave her the glass slipper and she became a princess again.”
“But
that makes no sense! Why couldn’t she have just asked for. .
pumpkins and slippers or. . .” The girl was really confused now.
“Why does she have to scrub a floor?!”
“Because
somebody has to clean the floor to keep it clean, right? And
Cinderella was the poorest, so she had to work the hardest.”
“No
she doesn’t! Floors keep themselves clean! Or Cinderella could
have just asked for a new floor! This story is stupid! Let’s try
to fly the kite again.” Isolde growled inside. Was she the only
person left in the world who knew her fairy tales? It was so sad,
that such great universal stories were just. . .not told or
understood anymore. . .she didn’t want progress to be so rapid it
left the past behind. There were good things in the past, too!
Well, it was clear enough that if they were going to find a roof over
their heads, it would have to be by making friends with someone here.
Nobody was selling hotel space. No, that would be beneath these
people. That would be producing. So helping fly this kite was their
only hope, if Roland ever got back from wherever he went anyway.
Roland
walked through the streets with a long whistle of amazement.
Swimming pools, tennis courts, gaming centers, drug dens, concert
halls, ballets, plays, sports of all sorts, amphitheatres, huge parks
full of the lushest greenery he’d ever seen. Rock gardens,
botanical gardens, tea gardens, sunken gardens, hanging gardens. And
everywhere the silent hum and buzz and click of tiny machines
building or remodeling or upkeeping the structures. Everything
anyone could think of wanting to have or do, it was provided, without
anyone having to lift a finger in exchange. How did this work? This
was beyond anything Isolde had prepared him for. She had called it
the place designed for people to enjoy their lives. . .not the place
people could live in a perpetual holiday with infinite leisure and
infinite resources to fill up that leisure. . .this was just
unimaginable. Somehow they really had found a paradise of sorts. A
paradise for one type of person, at least. He still wasn’t sure if
any of it appealed to him personally. Or if it just smacked of
colossal waste. He wanted nothing more than to find Isolde and ask
her what the secret of this Bubble was. What Mirmansk had that
nobody else did. Not anywhere on Mars or Earth, he was certain, was
there so much luxury.
“There
you are! I hope you had a good time!” Roland turned to see Isolde
stalking up on him, angry like always, but not actually angry. He
smiled to see her.
“Meanwhile
I’ve secured
us a house and home. Can you believe it? Tourists are expected to
just arrange for their own to be built
before they come.”
“Well,
it’s not like bubbles get very cold at night, wouldn’t it be
romantic to spend it out under the stars?”
“No
it would not be! Not unless the stars have bathrooms with showers,
and mattresses with pillows!” Isolde declared, and Roland laughed.
He knew she could rough it whenever she felt the need, but
apparently this wasn’t the right time of the month for that. Poor
girls. They really should find a cure for that, now that all the
other diseases had been escaped or cured. Fiddling with people’s
natural functions was still a little squeamishly avoided, except for
places like Sao Paolo. Well! Already he was remembering that place
fondly. Maybe Isolde wasn’t that
crazy to bring them
there. . .
“Honestly,
I knew this place was made for the super rich, and that after the
month was out we’d either become instant billionaires or leave. .
.but they could’ve given the people just passing through some
accommodations.”
“Why?”
Roland asked. “That would just encourage the wrong sort of people
to come, and then imagine if enough came that they refused to leave
one day? That would be the end of Mirmansk. I just saw on my walk
so much wealth laying around for anyone to enjoy or seize that this
place would be gutted in a week. Where did you find
this place? This
isn’t on any of the thoroughfares.”
“My
parents had friends who lived here for a while, before coming to
Delphi.”
“Your
parents are rich, but surely not enough that you could live here.”
Roland asked.
“No,
not unless I worked really hard for the next twenty years with some
brilliant idea to work with. . .but I just wanted to see this place.
. .what the people here became. My parents used to talk to them
about this place all the time. It made me dream up so many things I
would do if I ever lived here. Hey! When did I let you off the
hook?”
“I’m
sure nobody will mind if you do just this once.” Roland kissed
her. “Does this house and home have a host and hostess? I have so
many questions I want to ask!”
“Yes,
yes. They told me to fetch you before dinner. It’s crazy, they
have so much to give, that just for helping their daughter fly her
kite this afternoon they’re willing to give me anything I can think
of.”
“Well
that was nice of you. And rather foresightful.”
“Actually
I was just getting her to stay around long enough. . .well, yes, yes
it was nice of me. And very foresightful.” She dared him to say
otherwise. He forgot to keep up the flirtation, thinking a kiss was
victory enough. Now he was busy thinking up the first questions he
would ask when he got to this house and home. This place was
incredible.
Lucinda
hadn’t cared which bubble she ended up at. She could now afford to
go where she pleased without worry or hassle, at least for a good
while. If she didn’t like this one, she figured she could always
go on to another. The important thing was getting out. She seized
the one time she was strong enough to escape and pulled away with all
her might. It had been a desperate fight with her future self, which
she knew would have wanted to stay and destroy everything, the moment
she had looked at him smiling or looking at her again. This wasn’t
about wherever she was. This was about burning all her bridges,
blocking all the passes, poisoning all the wells and salting the
land, scorching the earth as she retreated, so that she could never
make it back. She was razing her past so that her future couldn’t
pursue. But, for some reason or another, she’d ended up at
Vincennes.
“Your
identification, please?” The woman at the gate asked pleasantly.
“I’m
sorry, I don’t have any.” Lucinda paused. “I haven’t had
any papers for a long time, where can I go to get new ones? This is
really a hassle, not having an official identity or existence.”
“Well,
there are official buildings that register people for that sort of
thing. You do have
an identity,
correct? So all it would take is a re-issuing?” The woman asked.
“Yes,
I’m Lucinda from El Dorado. You’ll note how pretty my picture
is.”
The
operator laughed and checked it out. “Alright then. I hope the
rest of your trip works out for you. If you ask around I’m sure
you’ll get to the statehouse eventually.”
“Thank
you, I will. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. Do
I get a brochure or something to read about this city? Wait, what is
this city?”
“This
is Vincennes, the isle of women. The only real restriction is that
you have to be a woman after the first month if you want to stay.
After that we just sort of take care of each other. If you steal
from everyone, spread bad rumors about them, or make fun of people
behind their backs, it’s likely you’ll run out of friends pretty
quick. If you are honest and kind in your dealings with others
you’ll probably make friends. And the more friends you have, well,
that pretty much decides the quality of your life in this bubble.
It’s how we’re going to judge you, it’s how you’ll get by and
how your kids will be raised and looked after whenever you’re busy
or working, it’s how you’ll get through hard times and how you’ll
enjoy the good times. So my suggestion, I guess the law of the land,
is make friends. You’re going to need them.”
“Thanks,
I’ll keep that in mind.” Lucinda smiled. She could just imagine
men coming for a few weeks and loving this place so much they got a
sex change so they could stay. The immigration laws were being
stretched sometimes, the freedom of passage sometimes conflicted with
the entire point of the bubbles, and compromises had to be made.
Well, so long as people could always leave,
the most important and precious freedom was still solid.
An
entire bubble without men. Lucinda chewed on her lip. Well, it’s
not like she was interested in anyone else or anything even hinting
of a relationship right now. They wouldn’t be exactly welcome in
her life right now anyway. Besides, this sounded neat. Could women
really do
it themselves? This was the final testing grounds of feminism, if
women could handle things better without men, if the women here were
responsible, creative, risk-taking yet rational, if they could
compete in math and science related jobs and ‘cut-throat’
business and could run ‘a strong handed’ government, if in short
every reason why men dominated every field in both worlds could be
dismantled here as a bunch of myths kept in place only by larger
muscles, then a revolution would have
to come from the
inside out. If it were all a bunch of lies, well here
they weren’t
supported by any men with muscles, so here
they would be
proven lies. The feminists had never had the power or the
opportunity until now to show the world an entire working society of
women, any reference they made to a singular Queen Elizabeth or Marie
Curie the chemist or Joan of Arc the warrior could be discounted as
exceptions from the norm, they’d never given a norm
of women that
measured up.
Like the fervent Christians,
the environmentalists, the neo-communists, the eugenicists, and other
groups that had come to Mars, the feminists were here as
self-conscious historical actors. That is, the people who were
always on the fringe and marginal on Earth, who could never convince
the majority by words to abide by their rules, were attempting by
example on Mars to convince everyone of the truth and effectiveness
of their beliefs. This was a different group from the emigrants
who’d left Earth simply to be left alone, but for both groups only
Mars had offered them a chance. And interestingly enough, these two
camps, of social actors and those who wished to leave society behind
entirely, were not rivals but symbiotes. The social actors who
became disillusioned became libertines, the libertines who became
illusioned became social actors, the constant ebb and flow of people
trying and failing and trying something else gave the same person the
chance to act out many different lifetimes, to experiment with many
separate paths that their life could take. Lucinda had already seen
moments in her life where single choices would have created entirely
different her’s. She had stood at the brink of precipices and
peeked over the edges and seen the dizzying path she would have taken
with one more step in alternate lives, it was an opportunity most of
humanity had never had. Born into a single village they never left,
with no political power, with no belief system other than the
religion of their parents and grandparents and great-grandparents
ever taught, their marriages arranged, their jobs determined by the
jobs of their parents, or where their parents apprenticed them, or
what class or caste or rank they were born into—this had been the
normal fate of mankind. Lucinda had already lived ten times as many
lives as that, and she was only sixteen. She thought this was as
good an opportunity to see what might have been as the others. What
might she be like without any men?
Maybe proving she could get by
without men would help her get by without him,
at least it would prove she could take care of herself, for once. It
was odd, she had thought education was the only way to even survive
outside the home, but everywhere she’d been, it hadn’t mattered
in the least. All that had mattered was if people had liked her and
wanted to help her. Maybe she was cheating, because she was so
pretty, maybe everyone else needed an education, but she just needed
her face. Well, it wasn’t all milk and honey, a pretty face. The
men smoking and playing cards in that house didn’t make her want to
be pretty. Mother putting her on a corner didn’t make her want to
be pretty. So she’d take what advantages she could from it, as due
repayment for all the crap it heaped on her simultaneously. She’d
made friends with her looks and vulnerability so far, but that had
generally been with men. She wondered how far they’d get her here.
But okay, time to finally get back her Self from the government
databanks.
“Excuse
me, could you tell me where the statehouse is?” She asked a
loiterer. The woman thought about it for a second. “The center of
the city. Just keep walking to where the buildings get taller and
the number of people denser. Can’t miss it. A pretty dome.”
Well,
that worked. She started walking. Almost everyone walked inside the
bubbles on Mars. Perhaps there wasn’t that same sense of urgency
in their lives, of deadlines and schedules and minute hands and
second hands. Perhaps it was the cheapest method. Perhaps the low G
of Mars made it simply too easy to walk for anyone to think they
shouldn’t. Lucinda had certainly gotten used to walking in all her
travels, and in turn that had gotten her used to not needing anything
she couldn’t carry on her back. The freedom to come and go
throughout the world whenever one pleased didn’t help if people
were still bound by deadlines and schedules and belongings to some
home ‘base.’ Her freedom had started with a state of mind.
Lucinda kept thinking to keep herself entertained while she walked.
Trying to connect in her brain why, for instance, there were so many
older people. The children would be in school. . .hmm. . .they
wouldn’t make her
go to school would
they? They couldn’t, her month of just passing through wasn’t up,
and she could just leave if they tried. But even with children in
school, there should be the 20-somethings wandering around on the
loose. They seemed few and far between. The children couldn’t
really be anywhere else, but the middle aged and the elderly had to
be here for a reason. It couldn’t just be that they were all
man-hating lesbians, or else there would be as many 20-somethings of
those as there were 40-somethings. That could only be a part of the
puzzle. After all, girls were born
wanting boys, and if all these people were having children, as
evidenced by the toddlers she passed by, then they must not be that
intent on creating a majority lesbian society, that would only work
through immigration. The toddlers were
all girls, though,
well, she certainly hoped
they were, as they
were dressed like girls and treated like girls. How had that worked?
She delved into her high school biology education such as it was.
They
must have selected the sex of their embryos and artificially
inseminate them. Child’s play these days. Wouldn’t mothers get
tired of daughter after daughter though? Well, then they would’ve
just left. So no, there were no technical barriers to amazons left.
Didn’t they miss
men though? What
did they even talk about to each other? Well, Lucinda didn’t miss
men right now, so why should they? Maybe everyone here had some
personal complex reason. Maybe they were escaping abusive spouses.
Or giving up on deadbeats, or philanderers. Maybe they were trying
to raise their kids after a messy divorce and didn’t want the
father finding them. Maybe they’d been raped, or molested as
children. Maybe they were just sick and tired of all the drinking
and whoring and swearing and gambling and fighting and killing that
men carried with them like some extra suit of clothes wherever they
went. It wasn’t that hard to imagine a lot of women deciding, all
factors added up, men just weren’t worth it; that their kids and
themselves would be better off without them. So maybe a tripartite
population, lesbians, feminists, and survivors who washed up on the
sheltering shore after a wreckage of their lives out at sea. All of
which were not entirely separate or entirely the same. Lucinda came
out of her reverie to focus on the domed building with all its
classical pillars. Success.
She
walked into the Statehouse, but things were not as they should have
been. Everyone was frozen, looking at the television screens with
their one-day delay from the Blues News. Nobody spoke. Nobody
shuffled any papers. Nobody typed. Nobody even coughed.
“.
. .the first of its type, this new model designed by Loretti &
Associates can carry more tonnage at a lower cost than anything
previously dreamed of. The age of space exploration has truly dawned
with this launch. The mass production has gone on at a furious rate,
employing over ten million people in the production of over one
million units. One of the largest enterprises any corporation has
ever undertaken, and yet the profits seem virtually assured and
tremendous. With no competing model even near the efficiency of this
flight, it is set to take the entire Space business world by storm.
Applications for the spaces for each family have already been filled
to the limits of all the spaceships not even completed as of yet,
most heading to the already cosmopolitan colony of Mars, others
striking out for more virgin soil, hoping to get rich by speculating
ahead of the pack they believe are sure to follow, it seems the real
estate of the whole Solar System has now been opened up for sale.
Mr. Aber Sinclair Johannes, what do you
think this will
mean for not only the economy of Italy, but even Europe and the world
at large?”
“Well
Max, you’re right to include the entire world. This invention is
the largest thing since Plastic, also invented by an Italian, I might
add. Not only is this synthetic fiber the most durable, powerful,
cheap and renewable building resource the world has ever seen, these
spaceships are specifically set to make interplanetary trade no
longer a pipe dream but a reality. Mines from the asteroids and the
other planets can replenish all the worked-out and stripped-bare
resources left here. It’s possible that even energy can be
collected and beamed back for a profit, or that these bubbles could
be sent as solar greenhouses that could potentially feed us for the
next century.”
“Do
you really think that spaceflight has become so cheap that money
could be made off sending vegetables
into orbit?”
“There
is no telling how many uses Man can make of this fiber, Max. This is
positively astonishing in its implications. We won’t know for
fifty years just how big this really is, I tell you, the name of
Henri Loretti may be the biggest one of the century, it might have a
chapter as large as Alfonso Parazzi. And yet again, I might remind
you that it has been Europe, and Italy in particular, that has been
at the forefront of this millennium and the true driving force of
history. I’ve never felt so proud of the green white and red as we
all have the right to feel today.”
“Thank
you, minister, I’m sure Loretti is just as proud to hear those
words coming from you. Well there you hear it folks, the prime
minister of Italy’s thoughts—“ The TV’s were turned off.
Everyone there looked at each other with ashen faces as though the
news had reported that instead of colony ships, atomic bombs were in
transit. They would start arriving in a month.
An Ominous Number for an
Ominous Time
“Welcome, and thank you so
much for earlier, young lady. Oh, and is this the man who strayed
and dallied a little too far and too long away from you?” The man
smiled and winked at Roland with understanding. “And this is my
wife, Trisha, and our child, Annette.” Everyone shook hands. It
was odd, Roland thought, they only had one child. On Mars they
usually came in six or twelve packs. There was so much opportunity
for the people here, so much metal to dig up or factories to
construct, that with any qualifications at all, anyone could make a
good life. Why would these people, so much richer and safer than the
rest, only have one
frail link to the
future then? After Annette had said hi, she left to go play, not
interested in adult conversations.
“Hopefully Isolde wasn’t
that negative
about me.” Roland said watching the girl go. “Because I wanted
you to tell me about Mirmansk. I’m so full of questions about this
bubble that I’m just bursting with them.” Roland said.
“Of
course!” Francisco said. “Don’t worry about my daughter, she
has her own ways. We’re happy to answer anything you’d like to
know. Isolde has already told us about the friends from here she had
known, so you’re practically a part of the family. Let’s at
least settle down for dinner while we’re at it. We’ve ordered
French onion soup, some turkey, a Caesar salad, oh, I don’t
remember the rest. I’m sure you will find something you like.”
They
were expertly guided to their seats, the banquet already laid out.
There were no servants, so at least the hosts would have had to do
the work of setting the table. Once they’d all passed dishes
around and served themselves whatever they wished, Roland got to
work. Not on the food, he was too busy to eat it. He had just put
the food on his plate while thinking out his questions. “Well for
starters, why just one child? Couldn’t you make a lot more and
support them all lavishly?”
The host and the hostess
looked at each other amusedly. Trisha decided to take up this one.
“Despite what young couples think who are eager to undergo the
process of making babies, they’re a lot of work, care, and fuss.
And yes, we could support them lavishly, but we have to have enough
capital left over for each child to inherit, that they can support
themselves here just as we can. We’re rich, but you can see how
having a bunch of children would be asking a lot out of us.”
“But that’s another
question. You’re rich, but where is all your money coming from?
All I see is people enjoying themselves, nobody’s making money at
all! How are you saving enough even for yourselves, much less enough
left over for your children and their children and so on?”
“Interest.” Francisco
settled back complacently. “If you accumulate enough money, stick
it in a bank (a multitude of banks and other investments to be safe),
just by sitting there the money will grow, and it’s that interest
that’s funding everything you see. Everything you see here is just
the tip of the iceberg of the amount of money we have. This interest
is just a tiny percentage of what’s sitting in the bank, and as
long as we never touch what’s underwater, it can produce freely and
without any trouble everything you see above the water, in perpetuum.
If you get enough money just once, you can live in perfect liberty
and leisure forever after. This is what life was always meant to be
about. Not all that toil and strife, but everyone with all the time
and energy to devote to anything they please. Here people develop
whatever skills they enjoy, play any games they can think of, learn
whatever they wish to know, live however they please, they can always
pay for it. And because all of us here are secure in our wealth,
there’s no envy or fear, none of us have to watch our backs, or
protect our property, or lobby against taxes or regulations or
whatever methods the poor find to steal all our money without having
to endanger themselves. Here nobody presents the sick and the maimed
and demand us to heal them. Here nobody calls upon our social duties
or how our privileges demand corresponding responsibilities. Nobody
calls us and asks for donations. Only here, on our own, under our
own law, do we actually own
our money. Not as
a ‘trust’ by the government, or a ‘privilege’ by the people
if we use it well, or a ‘gift’ from God who we then have to pay
for access to heaven. Here it’s ours.”
“Where do you get all your
stuff though? An upper class can’t exist in isolation, your money
is being invested somewhere, and you buy your products from
somewhere, just because you’re physically alone, you’re really
still living in a large community, you still need them and they you.
Is there some subsidiary bubble of middle class people that work
under you or something?”
“Well, not exactly. A lot
of our work is involved with that. Finding out where our capital
needs to go, and looking around for who we can trust to deliver us
products or build our structures. We’ve payed a lot for the
nanites which keep this place clean and in repair, so that all the
normal scut-work can be avoided. We can’t be having day-laborers
wander in, clip the gardens, and then wander out. We’d become too
reliant on each other. So we’re usually looking for the best
people and deals we can find anywhere on Mars, you’d be amazed the
variety of people and things there are here. It’s fun, trying to
make more money, seeing how well we do on this market or that. If we
lose, oh well, we were only risking our interest, and if we win, hey,
our number gets bigger and we feel good. By spreading around our
investments and purchases, hopefully nobody knows this place even
exists. They think we’re just random rich people distributed
around the world. If anyone connected all of our wealth together and
realized a hundred thousand people in one place owned half the world.
. .Well, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. As of a few hours ago
the broadcast has kindly informed us of our new masters.”
Roland looked at Isolde who
returned a blank look. “A broadcast from Earth? How can they hope
to conquer us?”
“Well, I suppose you’ve
been on the road this whole time. Not a conquest, a migration. The
Blues have invented a colony ship that’s so cheap and so big it can
just transplant whole populations. And because we’ve made such a
nice infrastructure and start of it, almost all of them are coming
here. So many that they’ll soon be the majority, cover the planet,
and own it and everyone on it. There is no way four billion people
who lived in nation states will immigrate over, see the lifestyle of
our ten million, and convert to an absolutely different way of life.
We’ll be swept away without the slightest thought. With such an
economic and military force backing it, back on Earth, that there’s
nothing we can possibly do to stop it from happening. We can’t
even keep them from docking on the moons, they have some
balloon-cushion which they intend to just crash land onto the
surface, and it will bounce a few times and come to a rest. They
don’t need us at all anymore. There’s nothing we have which can
check their coming, their landing, or their seizing total power.
Nothing in the news reports that
part, but that’s
because they’re so blithely arrogant that it’s just assumed.
We’re a colony of rogues and ne’er-do-wells, as far as the Earth
is concerned. A bunch of spoiled children who have been too long
away from home and need a good spanking to be put back in line. The
colonists have come to set up their way of life, not respect ours.
And their way of life isn’t to find some empty place and make a
bubble of autonomy and leave the rest of us alone. Their way of life
is making a big gun tell everyone what to do about everything, and
with the same big gun extort everyone’s money to keep the big gun
big. They’re coming in such numbers that they will just laugh if
we talk about sovereignty or autonomy. God bless democracy, and the
greatest good for the greatest number. It’s come to wipe us all
out and devour us whole.”
“Now Francisco, let’s not
get carried away. I’m sure our rights and our property will be
secure regardless of how the government changes.” Trisha put a
smile on the conversation which was quickly becoming gloomy.
“It can’t be!” Isolde
protested, shocked, her spoon of soup half raised. “They can’t
just take away everything we’ve built up over a century! We are a
free people, operating under our own laws, and we’ve done them no
wrong! What right do they have to take our land or dictate our
lives?”
“The right of nature.”
Francisco answered caustically. “Because they can, that’s their
right. And because they want to.”
“Then we should stop them!
Appeal to their governments, tell them this isn’t colonization,
this is invasion! That we will fight back. . .we can’t survive. .
.this system can’t survive with so many people who don’t
understand our ways and will just impose their stupid rule of the gun
that they know from Earth. They’ll kill everything that makes Mars
special, destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to build, steal
all the freedoms we’ve so carefully balanced between us—“
“There’s no use fighting.
We would lose, and the end result would be a lot of people dead, and
the rest of us being treated as conquered enemies, instead of fellow
subjects. At least if we suffer quietly and just give over, they’ll
spare something for us.” Trisha opined more cautiously and less
youthfully.
“Maybe at first, but only
because they would still fear us a little! Once they have us under
their heel, they’ll be sure to grind us into whatever powdered
people they wish. If we don’t fight for our beliefs, then who
will? Are we just going to watch this happen? It’s not like
bubbles are safe from attack—they can’t stop us from making
nukes, gasses, hunter-killer nanites yet, they don’t have any
watchdogs or overseers here to stop us, we can destroy everything
they try to plant. . .”
“Now stop this!” The wife
rebuked. “Nothing is worth that kind of bloodshed. Do you think
Earth wouldn’t retaliate in kind? They’ll wipe Mars clean if
they have to, to get their own people on the soil. They aren’t
going to suffer billions of people to be restricted from coming for
the pleasures and whims of some ten million that live here now! Come
to your senses, yes, it was nice while it lasted, but it could never
have lasted forever. The wealth of an entire planet can never be
monopolized by so few people as us. Nature abhors a vacuum, and if
we aren’t maximizing the use of Mars’ resources, then what right
do we have like some dog in the manger to not let others? Maybe if
we act in a civilized
fashion then they
will too, and if we still have our property and our lives at the end
of this, then that is enough to be thankful for.”
“That’s easy for you to
say,” Isolde was really angry, “you have so much! But for the
rest of us, the only property we have is
our freedom, that’s
the only inheritance we
get from our
parents, and if that’s taken from us, we don’t have
anything else.”
“Isolde, stop! These people
have been kind enough to give us food and lodging and you are
insulting them.” Roland rebuked. “They aren’t hurting us,
they’re just as much victims as we are. We’re on the same side!
Take that anger and put it where it belongs, on the Blues. They’ll
make their Colossus to watch over everything and control everyone,
because that’s the only power large enough to make billions of
people suffer each other to live in some semblance of peace and
order. Not because they hate us or hate freedom, most of those
people are just trying to make the best of their lives and give the
best future they can for their children. It’s not their fault only
a federal government, an empire, can control various people of huge
numbers, it’s just the way it works. If you want to be angry with
someone, blame God, for not giving us enough resources to satisfy
everyone, don’t blame people for seeking sufficient resources to
maintain themselves just because it hurts us. You can’t expect the
Blues to just give up and die because there isn’t room for them on
Earth, and their existence isn’t convenient
to us here.”
“All of you!” Isolde
looked back and forth around the table. “Even you!” She looked
at Roland with real hurt in her eyes. “Am I the only one who truly
loves. . .are all of you so willing to see this world end, this
beautiful world?” She couldn’t say more because she was crying.
She pushed herself away from the table and stumbled for the door out
of the house. Roland looked at her leaving and the hosts with their
bewildered consternation. God,
Isolde, putting me in this position! He
gave some apology for her and ran out the door to follow.
“Isolde!” Roland ran to
catch her, she turned on him with true fury.
“No Roland! Not this time!
This time you’re wrong! You’re so wrong I don’t even know what
to make of you! We didn’t ask them to have more children then they
could feed! We didn’t ask them to lay waste to their environment
and consume all their resources! We didn’t ask them to make their
own world hell! They have no right to come make ours one too! They
have no right!”
“Look, Isolde, that may be
true.” Roland soothed. “But we aren’t your enemy. Come back
and apologize, these people are just trying to be nice. There was no
call for-“
“No Roland! You don’t get
it! This isn’t about offending them! This is about my planet.
If you don’t understand that—if you aren’t willing to defend
it, if you aren’t willing to stand for this, then you aren’t
a part of me
anymore. This is about me leaving you,
because you’re
leaving everything I loved about you and about us with your God
damned practicality, your ‘sufficient resources.’ If that’s
how you felt all along, then I’ve been a fool
all this time! I
wish I’d never met you, and I won’t
stay with you any
longer. I thought you were a part of the Mars I loved, but now I see
you could care less if it were all destroyed, all you care about is
everyone getting sufficient
resources. I’m
sorry if I don’t think we’re gerbil factories, Roland! I’m
sorry if I value something more than resources! But if you can’t
understand that, then we’re no longer the unity I believed in, in
fact, we never were, and everything until now has just been a lie.”
“What will you do then?
What can we do?” Roland was hurt, which made him shout too.
“What’s your wonderful solution? After you strike out at
everyone who loves you and hurt everyone you can, what the hell
difference will you
make? Are we supposed to know that you aren’t happy about this?
Okay! You’ve made your point, you aren’t happy! In the end no
matter how unhappy we are we’ll either surrender or be destroyed,
and you hate me for preferring surrender to outright annihilation?
Is that how much you love Mars, that you’re willing to see it
utterly destroyed for nothing,
because you’re unhappy?”
“Don’t twist things! You
know Mars dies the moment they make us into a nation! After that
we’re just people and things, there’s no Mars left to save! If
we all die then, what difference will it make? Like you said, there
are always plenty of people who can come replace us! So who cares if
we die if Mars is already dead? We’re interchangeable parts,
Roland! There’s always more where we come from! But Mars has only
existed once in the history of everything, if Mars dies it’s lost
forever,
Mars is something far
more important than all of us! It is the sacred idea we can’t
replace, it’s what makes all of us worth something, it’s the
sanctifier and the value-giver of our lives. Without the ideals of
Mars we’re just talking clay!”
“No Isolde,” Roland
practically begged. “Mars lives wherever there are Martians, and
Mars dies whenever we die. Mars is in people, not paper. Mars will
always exist so long as we believe in it. Mars is our will, our
desire, not its
fulfillment. It can always be fulfilled later, somewhere else, as
long as someone still desires it, but if we die, it really will
end, none will be
left to pass the torch to the next hand. Sometimes the only
victories we can have are when we turn catastrophes into defeats.
Sometimes that’s the best
we can do, and we
have to be willing to do that. There were times when people worked
eighteen hours a day and ate a piece of bread for their dinner, slept
thirteen to a room and died on average by the age of twenty. We
lived through that.
So long as there are people willing to endure, there is hope! Don’t
throw that chance away! Don’t say you’re too proud to endure
anything for the sake of that hope, that you’d sooner die than bend
your neck! Even if they make us into slaves,
even if they whip us day and night, and feed us gruel, even if they
take our children and feed them to dogs for their sport, we have no
right to give up and die! What we have is too valuable to let go, no
matter how much it hurts, we have to keep going because
it’s sacred, not
in spite of it.”
“All your pretty words are
just another way of saying you’re a coward.”
Isolde sneered. “If you won’t help me, I’ll find people who
will. If I have to create
the resistance, if
I have to found a
society of anti-federalists, then God help me I will. Go on with
your endurance and your hope, see where it gets you! It gets you
ground down so deep into the mud you never get out. And your
children, and your children’s children, and all their children
forever will never get out. You will never see the light of day
again. They will never hear about Mars, about freedom. They will
never know about anything we had, or maybe they’ll be taught a
thousand lies about it and they’ll hate it forever after. If you
ever lose, things won’t get better, they’ll just keep getting
worse. Every day that passes longer under their rule will be one
more day of a tighter grip. Even if the chances of winning are one
in a million now, the chances of winning later will be absolutely
nothing.
There will no Reds left to fight for. They’ll all have been taught
from day one to be Blues. And we’ll never have weapons or money or
a voice again, they’ll take them all away, and the longer the more
thoroughly, they’ll cut out our tongues and put slave-circuits in
our heads for all we know. If we don’t fight now it’s gone,
Roland! It will be gone forever, because they’ll never let it
back!” She turned around again.
And because Roland couldn’t
follow her, and yet couldn’t think of the words to bring her back,
he was left simply watching as the light and warmth and joy of his
life walked away.
“I know this might sound
silly now. . .” Lucinda stood at the front of the counter,
speaking quietly because everyone else was speaking quietly too.
“But I need to replace my identification papers. . .if that’s
okay.”
The clerk gave her a
distracted look, but after all this was still her job, as futile as
it was. Soon enough the Blues would impose new ID’s and the clerks
would probably be fired anyway, but right now what else was there to
do but go on living? She began typing up a search, asking Lucinda’s
personal information, and briskly and professionally verifying and
officiating Lucinda’s identity back into existence. After an hour
or so and a fee for all of it (which Lucinda could now afford),
Lucinda’s reason for being here was gone. But she had no idea
where else to go. Where would she go? It would be like running back
and forth on the deck of a sinking boat finding the nicest view of
her immanent drowning. Everyone in the building knew, right to their
cores, without question, that this was the end of their world.
Everywhere she had been offended Blues somehow. In fact, under
Blues, she wouldn’t have even been allowed to leave her home, or go
anywhere. She would have been caught and put back in school. Except
she probably wouldn’t have lived in El Dorado. It wouldn’t have
existed, and her parents for doing what they did would have gotten
government inspectors knocking on the door at night and dragged her
away to foster parents and them away to jail. And there would have
been no place where animals and plants were counted more important
than people, there would have been no place where people could do
anything they wanted and live off the land, no place where people
armed themselves and fought for themselves as they saw fit, no place
where groups of women could raise their own children without those
same ‘protective services’ rushing in to save them from such
abuse. . .in fact, everything Lucinda could think of that she’d
ever seen or done in her life was against the law on Earth. They
probably wouldn’t let anyone come or go without some pass. And the
taxes. Every bubble she’d been in, the taxes were either minimal
or not at all. Once the Blues came they would take it all.
Everything they could fleece without gutting the sheep itself. And
that was just as a kindness, by rights the government would own
everything, and whatever they didn’t tax would be a ‘cost’ or a
‘waste’ or a ‘sacrifice’ or an enlightened ‘abstinence’
which they would seek to reduce to as little as possible. Wherever
Lucinda had been she’d found things she didn’t like, but all of a
sudden she resented anyone changing any of them. She felt like they
were all her favorite governments she’d ever known, that she’d do
anything to keep them. She was burning with loyalty for every
wrong-headed and self-destructive utopia that Mars had ever made.
She was willing to lay down her life for any of them, she loved them
all so much. She felt like a mother protecting her babies, only she
hardly knew any of them, all she knew was that they were her babies.
Or maybe they were her mother, and she was the baby holding on to
their skirts and crying for mother to not let them take her away.
All she knew was that the Blues were going to steal her life from her
and she would never get to live it ever again.
From here on her entire life
would be planned out for her by some politicians wielding their
all-powerful majority, and if she didn’t like any part of it, well,
there was the gun muzzle that would ask her to think again. Why
bother? She’d just become one more machine in their factory, their
people factory, every person a cog or belt or gear that went through
its pre-ordained steps in order to produce the single product, the
single goal of the single power, the ‘model citizen.’ Which
model would she be? #34928? Or maybe #481-9384083. How many
numbers did each Blue have to go by? Which serial number would they
stamp on her neck, to work as their virtuous machine in the
production of their virtuous mecha-world? She wouldn’t do it.
She’d rather die while she still knew what life was. Well, not
that she really knew what life was, she hadn’t even been kissed
yet. She’d never had a job or a mission or a task that had
justified her existence, that had paid back anyone for all they had
invested in her. She had never known what it was like to be two
people instead of one. Or seen the faces of the children that shined
with both those people as
one. The Blues
wouldn’t even let her choose who she married, there were all sorts
of restrictions there. Age, number, sex. And her kids weren’t her
choice either. The number was decided by the government. Their
genes weren’t allowed to be tampered with, except the genes that
were always edited out, that the government felt should be. And she
could only teach them the way of life and truth and morals that the
government agreed with. Or else she’d be interfering with their
‘mental health and their ability to function in society.’ She
could just see the lawsuits that would fly under their own power
through her windows and doors for every wrong thing she did to
herself or with herself or to her lover or with her lover or to her
children or with her children. They left nothing unregulated,
nothing unmandated. They always knew better and it was always too
important to keep the factory going to allow her to get her own life
wrong. After all, she didn’t belong to herself, she belonged to
the community. The community couldn’t afford her messing herself
up, that would hurt them all. In self defense the community would
have to make her work hard and be good and think right, because the
welfare of the whole depended on its parts. She stared at her own
picture on her plastic identity card and tried not to cry.
“There now,” A girl put
her hand on Lucinda’s back. Lucinda had been curling into a ball
in her chair and only now realized others had noticed. Every time
she tried to be strong or brave or good she would end up crying and
helpless and needy. It only made her cry harder.
“It’s not all bad, you
know. Even once they get here, it will take them some time to set
things up, to out-populate us by enough that they’re willing to
risk taking over. Why, we could still have a year left, two years.
It isn’t the end of the world. It’ll be like it hasn’t even
happened.” Other women clustered around and agreed, getting their
own courage up by comforting the least courageous.
“That’s right, and they
can’t stop us from living alone.” Another woman came in.
Lucinda still hadn’t looked up to see them, but her back had
relaxed against the hand that touched it. “Even if we live in the
same place as men, they can’t make us live with them. All our
bubbles will still exist in the space where it counts, in the spaces
we make with our own minds and our own bonds. They can’t make laws
against that.”
“But they will take away our
children!” Another cried, the support group spontaneously
emerging.
“They will take away our
jobs! The men will rule in everything again!”
“Not everything. Only what
they can see and touch. There’s so much more to us they can never
know or have or take. Every shell they take from the outside, we can
just grow another shell deeper inside. Like Russian dolls, they can
take off the bigger versions, but then there’s a smaller version,
one just as exquisite and just as detailed, every part they seize,
that will just make another part of us they can’t seize, as special
and beautiful as the last.”
Lucinda smiled. Something
sacred again. Everyone cherishing something sacred, whatever it was.
It made her love life every time she saw it. Love Man.
Then she laughed,
because it was funny. Her loving mankind because of what an Amazon
said. If she had thought out loud they would have been furious. It
made her laugh again.
“Ahh! There’s our cherub.
Come on, won’t you at least let us see your face?”
Lucinda brushed at the dirty
streaks on her face. “I’m okay now. Thank you.” She didn’t
know how anything was okay, or how anything was better than before.
But somehow now she felt better about it, because it was being
shared.
Wherein Mars Splits Apart
Roland
stared at the wall listlessly. Meaningless memories wouldn’t leave
him alone. “What’s in a month?” The gatekeeper had asked.
And Roland had thought, a month was forever. Who knew what could
happen in a month? Now he knew. Mars could be invaded and conquered
by Blues in a month, their entire civilization could be swept away,
and Isolde could leave him in order to try to kill millions of people
and get herself killed in the meantime. In a month his entire life
could go from everything to nothing. He’d never even gotten to
tell her, what he’d figured out on his walk. She didn’t even
know. Just when he was sure there was nothing left that could divide
them ever again, a couple hours later, it turned out it was all so
fragile, that one argument, one disagreement, one intellectual
stance, was enough to destroy it all. What fools these mortals be.
The course of true love never did run smooth. Et
tu, Brute? To be or
not to be, that is the question. . .Roland wasn’t even sure what he
was thinking. He had just packed his brain with so many applicable
quotes that leaving his mind empty, words just streamed in and
through on their own. He was sure a part of his brain connected them
somehow to each other. He knew everything. He just didn’t know
what use any of it was. He hadn’t known how to keep Isolde. Two
stages of survival, natural selection and sexual selection. Without
Isolde he was still a failure, no matter how long he lived. A
defect. Geometric rate of reproduction, overpopulation, struggle of
life, competition, destruction and extinction, efficiency and
evolution. At least he knew that his useless life and death would be
for the greater good. But I shall lose my arm, what of it? But I
shall lose my head? What of it? Is your head so precious? If
someone took his Isolde, obviously he needed her more anyway, so it
is no matter to him, now he could learn how to live without her.
Stoa, Stoa, you ask too much. All of virtue can be reduced to this,
it is better to suffer evil than to cause it. Yes, Plato, if I were
Stoa. But even I have limits, how much must I suffer? Why can’t I
share the load? Is it my duty alone to suffer? Nothing in excess.
As if I could choose what I receive, Aristotle. I am Boetheus in his
prison, and the only consolation of philosophy is that my pain is
meaningless and should be overcome. How easy to demand, and yet am I
not human? Prick me, do I not bleed? Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.
Naked I was born, naked I shall be put into the grave, I have
neither gained nor lost. Ye, though I shall be in the valley of the
shadow of death, thou art with me. . .He knew everything, every
reason why his pain was meaningless and to be overcome. But all he
could do was stare blankly at the blank wall of Xiangi. It was the
next bubble in the tour. He thought maybe she would be waiting here
and changed her mind or something. It was all he had to go with.
But he knew from the start she wouldn’t be here. Just going
through the motions of living. Cartesian automatons. Pascal’s
bargain, if he was wrong, and Isolde wasn’t here, what loss? But
if she was here, everything to gain. Thus uncertainty does not stop
action. . .multiply cost and benefit by probability of each side. .
.calculable choices, everything could be settled with simple
arithmetic. . .Isolde, you have taken too much, leave me something, I
must have something left to hold onto. . .
The
flute made sounds when she blew into it. Lonely sounds. They played
for as long as she breathed, trailed away. Another note would come a
little later, alone, drawn out, passing away. Isolde watched herself
in the mirror and gave up. She wiped the flute carefully and
returned it to its box. It was like all her synapses and sinews had
been disconnected, she couldn’t put the pieces back together again.
Everything was out of place and on its own. She couldn’t think of
more than one note at a time. She couldn’t move more than one
piece of her body at a time. The rest was just too much effort. She
felt incredibly weak. Like she couldn’t hold up the slightest of
weights. That standing was a monumental effort. All her muscles had
left her. What else could she have done? Well? What else? He said
it himself. So you’re unhappy, who cares? What difference does it
make? Her emotions were just getting in the way. They didn’t
understand. They didn’t understand that love was just a trifle, a
nothing, a bauble, loves were created and destroyed at random, they
were just chemicals and electricity, pheromones that wandered through
the air. Her love didn’t understand that none of that mattered
once two people disagreed. How many angels can dance on the head of
a pin? Who knows? Time to fight a war over it. Who really won that
soccer match? Who knows? Let’s fight a war over it. Love and
hate were puny things. Pathetic little objects for little people.
Agreement and disagreement shook the pillars of heaven. Agreement
and disagreement could rend apart hearts and souls and peoples and
nations like so much cheap cloth. Should we go to this movie or
that? Agreement, there is unity and happiness. Disagreement,
separation and suffering. What’s love got to do with it? Roland
had disagreed with her, what else did it matter? That was the end.
No bond could survive a disagreement. Theories and opinions and
likes and beliefs and faiths, they were the true powers of the world.
They were the lightnings and the earthquakes and the floods that
could overturn anything and destroy anyone. Before them all things
fell, all emotions fled in panic and despair. There was no escaping
the sovereignty of these kings. There could be no diplomacy with
them. They controlled everything, and if anything got in the way,
then. . .God help them, for no other power could possibly hope to
win. Not that God would, since most beliefs were centered on which
God was right, or what God thought, or if there was one, and not even
God was stronger than Himself. . . Isolde sighed. So strange. For
five years they had managed to agree about everything important, more
or less. Then one disagreement was enough to trump all the rest.
Why was there no balance? If we disagreed about everything, but then
agreed about one thing, would that bring us together? Surely not.
Disagreement owned the world. Surely she didn’t hope to find
someone who agreed with her about everything? Yes. What else could
she hope for? Insofar as someone disagreed with her, that person was
her enemy, and they were seeking each other’s destruction, in all
that they did. There was a silent war between everyone who disagreed
with everyone, all of them trying to choke each other out. Sometimes
not even silent. But always a war. If one person disagreed with her
about one thing, both of them would still be out to destroy each
other, over just that one thing. So that they could create an entire
world of agreers. The one goal everyone shared was the will to
power, the power to impose their values on others. Until then, choke
the rest out, kill where you have the strength, persuade where you
don’t, ostracize who you can’t persuade. At the altar of
disagreement, the need for domination could only be satisfied by a
corresponding human submission. The blood must keep flowing day and
night, without end, the god was too hungry for it to ever stop.
Nothing and no one can be spared, until one person has absolute power
and can make a universe of agreers, until then, the blood shall not
stop, the god will feast upon all the living, not one shall escape.
And her heart, her love, was supposed to oppose that? Ridiculous.
Love couldn’t change the rules of the game, it couldn’t overthrow
the nature of life. Love was as much a sacrifice as peace or
prosperity or freedom or beauty. All of it must be burnt on the
bonfire to heaven, the more wondrous and special the feeling the
greater the demand it be sacrificed. Disagreement would not be
bound. It would devour everyone until there was nothing left, and
then demand more. Any love she created would only be taken for the
greater glory of disagreement. Nothing was to be kept for herself.
A soul tax of one hundred percent.
The
TV made a little tune and flashed red. Isolde watched it blankly.
It was that or the mirror, at least this screen moved around and
changed colors. “This is an important announcement coming from the
Ruler of Minsk. It has been forwarded to all major news operators
and sent by Spindle directly to all the nations of Earth. It reads
as follows, “After serious deliberation, the people of Minsk have
decided to break all ties with Martians who are not willing to defend
themselves from this unprovoked invasion of our sovereign territory.
We encourage all loyal and patriotic lovers of freedom on Mars to
join their banners to ours. We shall fly a red flag over our bubble,
and our stance and party and creed is one word: Anti-federalists.
All those who live in bubbles who will not rise to the defense of
their fatherland, we call upon you to emigrate to the bubbles that
shall, and if none but ours, we call upon you then to come to our
bubble. This is a matter beyond all of our distinctions and
divisions, this is a monster who will spare none and devour us all,
all of Mars is at risk and all Martians must come to its defense.
There are no longer any divisions between us, we are all fellow Reds.
And Earth should know, that if it does not call back its invasion
fleet, that we shall do anything and everything within our means to
repulse them, and deter any further assaults on our shores, if the
destruction of Earth itself is necessary. War shall continue between
us until their unprovoked assault is withdrawn, or one or the other
of our planets is destroyed. We ask all freedom loving Blues and
clear thinkers, if such a war should be sought with a people who have
never done any wrong to anyone from the very beginning of its
existence until now. We ask all governments if such a war shall
truly prove beneficial to the people they represent, or if it comes
at too high a cost to us all. We ask all humans what is the more
humane course of action, this despoiling of our land and people
accompanied with tremendous slaughter on all sides, or the peace and
harmony that have existed between our worlds for over a hundred
years. Do not think
that because we are small we have no sting. If Earth is so brimming
over with people, there will be no need for colonization, we can
relieve you of them easily and decisively. Consider it a gesture of
friendly cooperation in these hard times. All the blood that shall
spill on all sides remains on your hands, remember that.”
Isolde
watched from the bubble of Smyrna in a sort of fearful rejoicing.
She quickly found out where Minsk was. Too far away to reach in a
day. She would have to find a couple spots inbetween. That was
alright. She could try to bring them over as well. Red flags should
be flying over every dome. She would do her part. She didn’t let
herself think of the sick joke they had made. It emboldened her. It
made her feel like she was above everything, that they could do
anything, that all bonds had been loosed that even mass obliteration
could be laughed over. If these people counted life and death a
giant joke, then how strong they must be! How hard her heart would
be alongside them! She had not asked for this war, but she would win
it, and any strength that came from any source, dark or light, was
her right to use. Outside a rising storm of voices shouted out
various words: “Red sweaters! Red shirts! Red dresses! Red pants!
Let us fly our flag! The flag of Mars! Let us fly the flag of War!
The red flag! The red flag! The flag of war! The flag of Mars!”
Isolde heard it and smiled, a light in her eyes. The Blues had
stolen everything important from her, scattered her dreams and plowed
under her hopes. Now let them taste some part of that pain.
Lucinda
had been taken in by an elderly woman, by name of Sofia, who seemed
to have some power in the politics of the city. She and a circle of
advisers or confederates had been sitting in a circle and talking,
while Lucinda just watched. There wasn’t much shrift given to
people who said pointless or stupid things. Everyone was
contributing their voice in a business-like and professional manner.
Airheads, be they ever so flashy or vocal or pretty, did not in the
least affect the direction of the conversation. It was left to the
grave dowagers and the plain-speaking realists to truly form a
consensus of what might work. These women were trying to find out
how to maintain their colony within a new overarching government.
How to obey while remaining free. It wasn’t a time for girls to
upstage each other or show off. Then the newscast had come on. Some
people outright cheered at the end of the speech. Some laughed at
the ending joke. Most of them looked at it with quiet, dying
expressions. They were helpless to stop it now. Face after face
shuttered itself inwardly, curled into a small ball, and gave up now
that fate had run its course. Lucinda extorted a small wavering
smile on her lips so as not to be called out by the excited ones or
made an outsider by those willing to follow the excited ones, for
lack of the will to resist whoever wished to lead anymore. But her
stomach felt like it had collapsed inside her. It was just too
horrible. There had to be a better way than this. Maybe if they
threatened enough, the Blues would back down. Maybe that’s why
they had said such terrible things. Pretend to be insane enough to
destroy humanity to preserve yourself, and nobody would dare touch
you again. That had to be it. No one could actually say a war would
last until a planet was destroyed. . .no war could really be willing
to lose that much rather than just surrender. . .and yet, Minsk was
on the right.
Minsk was simply brave enough to do
something about it
while the rest had been sitting around like frozen deer in
headlights. Maybe they knew what they were doing, maybe they did
have a solution, but they needed our help. They were saying these
things to rally us to the cause, it took bellicose speech to really
get people’s attention. That was all. A psychological insight.
They wouldn’t really try to kill everyone on Earth.
“Lucinda,
you’ve been so quiet. Have you heard a word we’ve spoken to
you?” One of the women who had laughed in delight prodded.
“Oh.”
She blushed. “No, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
“The
red flag! Do you want to hoist the red flag!” Lucinda’s stomach
churned. Yes, Minsk was right, this was about their freedom. . .but
not this. . .always blood and killing. How many of them had seen
someone die? Had watched their loved one run himself onto a sword
just to cut off his enemy’s head? How many of them had seen a
lover’s blood or a widow’s tears? And that was just one person.
Just one death. It was too horrible then. But this was even more
horrible. She couldn’t even imagine the number of people who would
die for this. Was there ever a justification for so much blood?
“I
don’t know.” She finally whispered. “I don’t know. I wish
there was some other way.”
“Oh,
sweetheart. We all wish there was another way.” The rest of the
crowd agreed sympathetically. But Lucinda saw from their faces that
she was the only one who hoped any longer that there was one.
“But
one way or another they’ll drive us out of our land and to the very
margins of existence. We have to make our stand somewhere! Let’s
not be the only people in history who aren’t willing to defend
ourselves. Let’s not fall behind the men in courage enough to
stand up for ourselves! Let no one on Earth or Mars tell us that we
women were too weak and soft to live our lives alone and as we
pleased! We were strong enough to create this vision, we were strong
enough to maintain it, but what is any of that, if we aren’t strong
enough to defend it? In the end the only language Blues have ever
known is the sword, and so it’s the only language we have left to
speak with. I for one will not be silenced while I’ve still a
heart and lungs to speak with. Men will never silence us again short
of the very grave.” The rest of the women cheered. Lucinda tried
to curl up into a ball and keep a smile on her face. The women were
already too caught up with themselves to argue longer, they ran out
the door and into the streets, joining the fray of women seeking all
things red to hoist into the air. God help us. Lucinda prayed. God
help us, if you’ve never felt the need to help us before. Save us
all from this. We can’t afford a war like this. Please, God,
don’t let this be our Armageddon. We’re so close to getting it
right. We were so close to living the best of lives. We’ve been
improving so much. Spare us just a little longer, and we’ll show
you such great things. . .Don’t let this war be fought. . .you
can’t let this happen and be our God. . .please. . .if you’re
there. . .I need you. Help me find a way. Help us find a way to
save both Blues and Reds.
The
newscast flashed back on. “An important announcement from the city
of Xiangi, in response to the rebellion of Minsk: “The people of
Xiangi reject this ill thought out and despicable declaration of war
by the people of Minsk. They ask for all clear thinking Martians to
consider the incredible risk Minsk has put us in with this message,
and call upon all people of Earth to know that we are not like them.
The people of Earth must know that most Martians are lovers of peace
and good will, wishing no harm to anyone. This band of rogues does
not speak for Mars. We plead with all Blues to not judge us all by
their example, and condemn us all to the same fate. The people of
Xiangi are prepared to work with all the Blues who arrive for a
peaceful settlement and cooperation between all of us searching for a
better future. As proof of our solidarity with the people of Earth,
we have flown a blue flag over our bubble. We ask all sane and clear
thinking Martians to do the same, and reject this appeal to brutality
and war which can gain nothing for either of our peoples! We will
not stand by and allow Martians to usurp our names and our lives and
say with our voice such terrible and destructive wishes. If the
people of Minsk and any who follow in their wake truly intend to
bring a full destruction on the heads of either Earth or Mars, then
we must all know
which planet shall fall.
And knowing this, all Martians must
reject Minsk’s
view, the view that will end with the death of us all. The people of
Xiangi are willing for the defense of our own lives to march on Minsk
itself to avert this doomed war with Earth. We shall fight a war
ourselves for our preservation, we shall not be dragged into this
conflict by bloodthirsty people who do not reflect any values of any
other bubble on this world. If they are anti-federalists, then we
are anti-anti-federalists. As frightful as that may seem, the
alternative they’ve given us is so terrible that we can do nothing
but stand opposite them. We must come together and gather in
sufficient strength to bring these rebels to hand, it is for the
safety of us all that we must win this war before Earth fights it in
their own way.”
Lucinda
was probably the only person watching in the bubble. A war to
prevent a war. . .everyone has gone insane. . .
Clash of the Characters
When
Roland woke up, refreshed and revived from what seemed some sort of
illness, Xiangi was brimming over with people. He couldn’t truly
remember how long he had been here, whether a day or two or three, or
whether he had eaten in any of those possible days. He felt better
to have an immediate and easily attainable goal to achieve, and got
dressed and primped to go out for breakfast. The moment he stepped
outside the outside energy and air gave new vitality to his actions.
So he was alone again, well, he had started off alone, and he hadn’t
been miserable then. It was just back to neutral, to the ground
state, to a blank slate. Nothing bad had happened at all. Only
zero, that was hardly such a disaster. So he was back to zero, well,
time to move on up to one then. And then he could reach two maybe.
It was just a matter of starting over. He had given up everything to
fight this war, he couldn’t let the loss of everything stop him
from fighting it. No, it was time to live again. There was no
shortage of things he could still do, that still needed doing. He
hadn’t always needed her, and yet he had always been himself, so he
could be himself now too. As he walked he tried to recall what had
happened the past few days and why he had wished to visit Xiangi in
the first place. He wanted to have a purpose outside of Isolde,
having nothing to do with her or where she was or what she was doing.
It was good thinking about something else for the first time in days
of pure fevered self-destruction.
Martians
who were so used to thinking with their feet and moving to the Bubble
they agreed with had come from everywhere, as though springing from
the very ground or raining out of the sky. Impromptu blue rallies
went through the streets unceasingly, all the day and night. Blue
flags sprouted ex
nihilo onto all the
terraces and over all the plazas in the city. Police armaments were
drained dry long before the people’s wish for arms was met. The
call for weapons went throughout all their allied states, the few
militantly disposed bubbles becoming the most powerful in the world
overnight. The guns all Martians had derided and mocked with their
mother’s milk were now looked to as saints and saviors of the
world. The time between when Roland went to sleep and when he woke
up had transformed this small community into the nexus of half the
world. The people of Xiangi had been neo-communists. They had
rejected all the force, all the state control, that had made slaves
out of the Communists of the past in the most horrifying spectacle of
the 20th
century. All they had wanted was an inviolate limit to the division
of the means of subsistence. Every single person, they maintained,
had the right to enough capital, in land, or farm animals, or
technical skills, or whatever was most efficient, that they could
sustain themselves and their families freely and on their own. This
innate wealth was provided by the State, the wealth that allowed
people to create wealth, without which they were helpless to the
predations of any employer under any contract whatsoever. In the
barbaric centuries of the past John Doe’s right to employ himself
was his first and only defense against the abuses of the employments
of others, because once his life and the life of his family depended
on the caprice of another, he could do nothing but accept any terms
the employer set. Any wage the employer wished. Any working
conditions. Any length of hours a day. Any shelter. Any food. The
pay didn’t even have to be enough to keep John alive, it only had
to be enough to keep him alive long enough to hire someone else
equally helpless and equally impotent to stop his own destruction.
So
long as this innate right to enough capital to sustain oneself by
their own employment was denied, Xiangi argued, a permanent
underclass was created, self-perpetuating, of misery, crime, chaos,
poverty, slavery, war, and hatred. Power corrupts, and absolute
power corrupts absolutely. Nobody should have such a monopoly of
capital that they have absolute power over another man’s ability to
subsist, such that whether they are ‘free’ legally is meaningless
as they are legally all enslaved. It devoured the humanity of the
rich, turning them into tigers and wolves that feasted on the flesh
of their fellow man. Not only physically, but spiritually, turning
people into aristocrats who asserted a natural right to dominate and
consume and destroy all those beneath them, as though the rest of
mankind was their
capital, and they
alone were rational beings with meaning and value to their lives.
And it devoured the humanity of the poor, who had no time to think or
even exist beyond their fatigue and their hunger and their three
hours of sleep before work began anew. Without any special moments,
any happiness, any redeeming spectacles in their life, all of it
became an unfocused rage, a snarling morass of pain and frustration,
hopelessness and fury, despair and hatred. And after all this, there
were no humans left to either side, just animals who hated and
despised each other, and tore out each other’s throats, or wished
to, every moment of their lives.
Not
to say that the rest of Mars and Earth was a snarling pit of wolves
and vipers, simply because they didn’t assert a lower limit to
poverty and property that could not be breached. Their conservatism
provided a safe harbor for the poor and the unfortunate that the rest
of Mars had no time for, and the rest of Mars’ liberalism gave the
overburdened or under appreciated in Xiangi the chance to leave for
greener shores. As at odds as Xiangi’s beliefs were with its
neighbors, its policies
actually worked
together with all the others. Xiangi was the first to prove that
they were not radicals at all, that in truth they were simply
admitting the principle upon which all modern nations now worked,
that all nations sought to follow, by giving free education, enormous
loans, scholarships, unemployment benefits, subsidies, self-help
books, church charities—basically as much help as they could
possibly give to people so that they could help themselves. Xiangi
had simply taken that muddled mass of half-thought-out ideas and
half-recognized realities and established it once and for all. And
to their credit, it worked. Those who worked for others had high
benefits and high salaries, because they had to be better than what
people could get working for themselves. And those who worked for
themselves managed to do so in jobs with low overhead and frugal
living, such as simple things like daycare, care for seniors,
farming, the arts, hand-made knickknacks, and so on. Many people
didn’t even work for money at all, producing everything they needed
for themselves out of the land and animals they lived with, wishing
for nothing more, and indifferent to the workings of the world.
Except that in the course of a day, that city had vanished entirely.
Xiangi was no longer the communist bubble, Xiangi was the Federalist
bubble, and that bubble had an entirely different set of beliefs and
priorities. The communists who woke up that morning to the waving of
blue flags and raiding of arms depots no longer owned their ideology.
Like the rest of the bubbles which had so carefully worked out their
own vision for their own people, it all became a simple question of
red or blue. There was only one identity left, only one belief worth
fighting over, one option, one choice, preserved, from the days of
‘do as thou wilt.’ A month before a colony ship had even landed
from Earth, Mars had already disappeared.
When
Roland walked into the streets on his way for food, he was
alternatively hugged or interrogated or cheered or threatened by
everyone he passed. None were content to let people go about their
business any longer. What Roland thought was now vital to everyone
who saw him. What Roland felt was the principal priority of anyone
he encountered on his walk. He could not go another foot without
restating that he was a Blue. They wouldn’t let him go another
foot until he did. The governments of Earth all being Federal, and
the enemies being anti-federal, the Martians who had sided with Earth
were stuck with the title as well. But as people kept flooding in,
and more and more people angrily stated their
definition of
federalism, it was apparent that the only true bond these people
shared was the wish to destroy the anti-federalists, and if that ever
happened, they would quickly disintegrate themselves. Roland sighed,
because he was stuck agreeing with them. The anti-federalists did
have to be destroyed, above all, for their own survival. It just
irked him that the people he stood beside were acting more like
crazed animals than humans, full of passion, anger, curses, vows,
storm and stress. Yes, let there be war, yes, let us kill them to
the last or until they surrender, but there was no reason to get
angry about it. There was no reason to feel anything about it, or
treat it like some personal affront. It was simple arithmetic. If
war is what has to be done, let’s go do it, and when it’s over,
we can go do something else, whatever else is next most important.
Fighting the anti-federalists was just as natural as getting
breakfast, nobody cursed out the eggs they were eating or broke the
table it was being served on. Let’s eat our eggs, fine, but we
don’t have to rip them apart with our teeth face first, snarling
and snapping at everyone nearby. Let’s just eat them and be done
with it.
“I’m
sorry sir, but that’s no longer the price for our breakfast. In
light of the increased demand, we’ve had to raise our prices and we
haven’t had time to change the menus.”
Roland
sighed. It was going to be a long day. “Alright, what price are
ham and eggs?”
“Two
hundred and fifty pilars.” The waiter said with a straight face.
Roland choked on his water. “You can’t be serious--! Is this
the anti-capitalist-exploiters-bubble or not? That’s enough to buy
food for a month, and you want it for breakfast!”
“Capitalism
and Communism were only set in opposition to each other by dimwits,
if I may say so sir. The law of supply and demand is absolutely
unalterable, and if you go against it, it will show you who is
stronger. The law of proportional wealth is just as natural and just
as superior to any efforts against it. Economic freedom and justice
can’t be separated, it’s justice that gives us freedom, and
freedom that makes justice just.” Roland blinked. Did all waiters
here lecture their customers? Or just the really stupid customers
who offended them?
“Then
I guess I’ll pay two hundred and fifty pilars. . .” Roland shook
his head. Think of it as a contribution to the cause. Besides,
Roland had a sneaking suspicion that Martian money wasn’t going to
be worth much in a very short while anyway, so he might as well use
it while it could still buy breakfast. Hell, he might as well use it
while he was still alive. They were all about to be nuked to
oblivion by Earth anyway. That had been the message they received
this morning. One sentence. “If one colonist is hurt the
governments of Earth will obliterate you.” The diplomacy of the
motherland seemed to have been raised on blood and iron instead of
the flowery speeches Martians were so used to giving each other.
Mars had no idea what it was dealing with. What humanity had become
while they were gone. How desperate Earth was, and how utterly
little they concerned themselves with the lives of individuals rather
than populations. Earth could soak up any number of casualties Mars
could hope to cause and not even feel the difference, or even feel
the better for it. Earth had nothing to lose, because Earth could
care less about who was lost. As defiant as the Reds were, Roland
hoped the severity of the response would put some sense into them.
This was a war they could
not win. Thus it
was a war that should not be fought. No matter how right or just or
honorable it was, fighting a war solely for the sake of carnage,
without any hope of victory, was sheer devilry. The Reds had to see
that. Surely their pride wasn’t enough to commit mass suicide and
mass murder for nothing.
“It’s
about time this confederacy became a nation anyway.” A nearby
argument rose above all the others in volume and intensity. “The
money supply is at the permanent mercy of anybody who wishes to
counterfeit it. How can every bubble have their own mint without
using it to print out all the money for their people they wish, at
the expense of all the rest? And what about the environment, can we
let one bubble decide to irradiate or poison or pollute the entire
globe for their own personal gain? Should one bubble if it’s just
fast enough be able to strip the air and the ground of all the
valuable minerals and laugh at us when we want our fair share? And
look at these anti-federalists! Should we let a single bubble
conduct foreign policy, declare war, make trade agreements, or spy on
the rest of us and sell all our secrets, amass weapons of mass
destruction, build up armies that endanger us all? There has to be
some order and reason, some organization and responsibility, to how
we deal with other nations! This is just insanity. Look how without
any central organization of force banditti can just roam freely
across the land, destroying any small or weak or poorly organized
bubble without any check or any deterrence. Hundreds of thousands of
murderous thugs wander around without any fear, guilt, or shame, and
not one bubble feels it’s worth their while to waste all their
resources trying to stop them. We all just try to be a little bit of
a harder target than the others, so that only the softest bubble will
be destroyed. If we just cooperated, it would only take a tiny
amount of money and men from each of us to make an army strong enough
to destroy them! And what of all the fugitives who commit any
heinous act they can think of and then leave without even a moment of
fear of being caught, simply walk out the front door without any
comment or notice by anyone, to make their new lives, or join the
bandits, or sneak into some other bubble with some new name. Is
there any way to stop them when the Rule of Law ends at the rim of
each city? The truth is humanity can’t be free, it’s not
responsible enough to be. We must have an army and police and courts
and laws and eyes and ears everywhere, watching everything people do,
just to keep them from devouring each other. Only fear saves us from
each other, and that requires some Ruler to be feared!”
“Now
you’ve gone too far, Jacques.” The other person finally
interrupted. “I admit Mars has difficulties cooperating when
cooperating would truly benefit everyone, but that’s not so bad
when you think of how many times evil people are kept from
cooperating to benefit themselves at the expense of everyone else
using the same means. The worst criminals of all time have never
been the thugs and the brutes, they’ve always been the rulers and
the powerful, the warlords and the kings, the Fuhrers and the
Comrades. The truth is humanity does not dare give any of its
members power because so few people won’t use it. Unless you
are the supreme
dictator of the world, and you
get to create this
benign World Rule where we cooperate about things that affect us all
and help us all, I doubt you’d be happy with the result of your
‘Ruler to be feared.’ If it’s anyone else, you can be sure
they’ll have a different idea of what the best of worlds is, and it
will have something to do with you giving over all your wealth and
all your freedom. But okay, to address your points: Because we each
live in sealed environment, unlike Earth, governing how others treat
the environment isn’t necessary. And because all of us so far have
followed the responsible rules of neither inflating nor deflating the
currency, because none of us have anything to gain by it—remember!
The free immigration of all and emigration to all! Suppose one
bubble printed out twice as much money, would the people there
prosper? Of course not! Immigrants would flock to the land of free
money, and all of a sudden all of Mars would be trying to squeeze
into the plastic, none of the people who concocted the scheme would
be any better off than before. It’s the same with some
enterprising bubble that mines out all the wealth of Mars for itself.
What is itself? The people there invariably will move off to other
bubbles, taking their wealth with them. Or people will see their
wealth and wish to join in it, and suddenly itself will be everyone
again. As for the bandits and fugitives, we’ve decided that the
cost of their existence is less than the cost of stopping them.
Maybe we’re wrong in that, but once some army is strong enough to
crush those bandits, it would also be strong enough to crush us,
any bubble it pleased, any number of bubbles it pleased, and once
that army is made, and under the control of some General, we have no
idea what he might do with it. Better an untrained, undisciplined,
band of marauding pirates, then a trained, disciplined, well-armed,
well-paid army under some single master which no bribes or flatteries
can break apart—just think of that
scenario for a
while. The Republic fell when the citizenry no longer made up the
legions of Rome and the Senate no longer paid for them. At that
moment armies became the loyal retainers of marauding lords who lived
off plunder and spoil—sometimes outside the borders of Rome,
sometimes inside, until eventually a Caesar defeated all the other
marauding armies and became the legitimate, eternal plunderer of
Rome. Right now we have citizen militias paid for by citizens and
directed by citizens, and right now we are all free, the freest
people history has ever recorded. The cost might be high, but I’d
rather brave that price, than trust in some warlord king to be given
power in Gaul and not cross the Rubicon. Once this war is over, the
federation must end as well, or we’ve fought for nothing but our
own enslavement.”
As
impassioned as Jacques was, he had given his friend his full
attention without interruption before rallying his own forces.
“There have been free people who nevertheless were part of a single
nation under a single law and protected by an army with a single
head. It all depends on the details of the arrangement. Yes, things
can go wrong, yes, people can be corrupt, but that’s why we have
brains, we can think through these problems, we can overcome them.
They aren’t essential
to governing, they are just independent evils that attach themselves
to government like remoras and go along for the ride. But the sort
of stuff I’m talking about, that’s just pure human nature. Those
aren’t abuses of anarchy, that’s just what anarchy IS. Everyone
is in it for themselves, and they’ll seize any advantage they can
get away with, even though it’s harmful overall. The only way
we’ll ever make a really good world is to live under a good system.
Just because systems can be awful if they’re not set up right,
doesn’t mean no system at all is better. Just think about it, all
of human history, all the great progress ever made, was made by
people in a system. Some pretty awful systems, and yet we still
moved forward. How can you say that we’d fall back into barbarism
when it was this very barbarism which has created the world today?
So Earth screwed up somewhere down the line, well, people make
mistakes. It doesn’t mean we all have to forever.”
“The
only way to make a good world is to make good people. Then we
wouldn’t need any system at all. Systems were well and good for
humanity when we were children who needed authority and rules set up
to take care of us, because we couldn’t take care of ourselves.
But we’re past that now, we’ve finally reached our maturity,
where we can take care of ourselves, assign rules to ourselves, bind
ourselves to a proper way of living. Earth is still crawling around
their sandbox making castles with all their nations and wars, we
are the advancers,
the progressors of humanity now. That’s why it’s our duty to
uplift the people who come here. We can show them how to live, from
the inside out, we can show them that we really can escape the law of
the gun. Whether it takes a hundred years, two hundred, whatever the
case, the more people who come here, the more Martians we can make of
them, the more they’ll dust off all their Blue ways, and see for
themselves how truly great they can become. Because we’re right
it’s only a matter of time until they agree with us. They aren’t
invading, they’re converts coming to the heart of the Missionary.
We couldn’t have asked for a better turn of events.”
Roland
finished his breakfast and got up to leave. All of a sudden he felt
a lot better about who he was working with.
Isolde
arrived at Vincennes late in the night, after a full day’s journey
towards Minsk. She tried to keep track of how Mars was splitting
with the radio, the ultimatum Earth had given Mars: “If one
colonist is hurt the governments of Earth will obliterate you.”
Had been broadcast and rebroadcast every hour that day. But Bubbles
continued to go Red all the same. Either they didn’t believe Blues
had the will, or the ability, or Reds really preferred death to the
life they had ahead. The stakes kept rising. There was no chance
the Reds wouldn’t try to take as many Blues with them as they
could, if the Blues were willing to take all the Reds they could.
But she couldn’t bring herself to back down now. If the Blues
really were so utterly vicious as to instantly make this a total war,
all the more reason
to never surrender, never submit, to the world they would make out of
Mars.
Isolde
continued the course of her thinking like a boulder rolling downhill:
If they can so casually kill us now even knowing the cost, think how
casually they’ll kill us all later when there is no cost at all,
when we’re powerless and defenseless and lost amidst a sea of their
own people. Unless they’d think it a lot easier job to kill us all
now before we
were surrounded by their own people. . .would Earth really encourage
a war with us to
get all the land and property we have for themselves? How many
layers did this have? Earth had their fair share of bigotry and
prejudice. Maybe to them, all of our Bubbles with all their
unorthodox or sinful or unnatural or radical ways were personal
affronts. Maybe lots of Blues really hated it that somewhere,
someone was living according to beliefs they did not like, and wanted
to kill them. Maybe they were ashamed of themselves because Mars
existed in contrast. Maybe they thought their God or Gods didn’t
want them to live because Martians were violating His commandments.
Who knew how many people the very idea of Mars offended, found
intolerable? Maybe all this talk of needing land and resources was
just a paper sheet over a yawning abyss of resentment and fervor and
jealousy, maybe they’d really come to kill others, not to live
themselves. Or at least the governments behind the colonists sent
them in order to kill. Or the people pulling the chains behind the
scenes of those governments. . .or maybe what’s going on here truly
frightens them. Like the cyborgs. Or Minsk itself, the eugenicists.
Maybe Earth can’t stop Sao Paolo from seeping into them, so
they’ve just come to root Sao Paolo out at the source. Does anyone
really know where all the money came from to get all these ships in
the air?
Isolde
checked through a flurried Gate where the traffic had picked up
tremendously due to people joining and leaving the Red side. They
did little more than note her sex. She wondered where she could find
a place to sleep, or if she would just have to roll out her air mat
somewhere. A little pang of camping memories ran through her and
she pushed them down. There was nothing she could do about that.
All the hotels would surely be full, if the Gate was any indication
of the number of transients coming through. There was nothing left
but to find some private place to lay down. At least everyone she’d
seen was a woman. She wouldn’t have to be afraid of being alone--
Her
reverie was interrupted by an impassioned speech from the other side
of the hill. “I know it’s okay if I stay here, and I do thank
you for everything. I just have to see for myself. I can’t decide
by the words, but maybe if I really go to Minsk, I can tell by the
faces that say them. Maybe I can decide by their faces. Someone has
to be right, after all, if I could just know for myself who!”
“Come,
child, ‘judge by their faces’ indeed! Faces! How many false
faces people can put on, just so easy as this or that. There are
faces and faces people make for themselves, and they deceive
themselves most of all. It’s impossible to catch them in lies when
they really believe them already! No doubt you will go and find all
their faces simply glowing with righteousness, and how will that help
you? Surely that’s how they feel, they were the first and foremost
to take the lead! If you think they will show some sort of distress
or disgust with themselves, far from it! Faces were lying to each
other long before languages were spoken, surely, surely. Faces were
the first liars of all, and all the harder to catch in the lie for
it!”
“Nevertheless,
Sofia! I have to see for myself what the ‘heart of it’ is.
Maybe if I know who they are, I can guess at why they’ve done it.
I just can’t know from their words. If I see them for who they
are. . .I have to do something.
Please, even if it’s all worthless, I can’t just stand here and
watch this happening. . .”
Isolde
found the debaters as they walked towards the gate. The words
approached nearer until they had almost come upon her. They unfolded
into people, one old woman with a gentle look and a tired contentment
of having accomplished all she had expected of herself in her life.
And one young girl, beautiful, her face trembling with the emotion of
repressed tears, surely of frustration for not being understood. It
must be terribly lonely to have an emotion that nobody else can even
understand much less share, this emotion of desperation, this still
urgent need to escape her fate. Like a martyr who still fought
against her ropes and dodged the lion’s maws. Well, perhaps a
martyr wouldn’t fight against her ropes. But then, she was no
prisoner wishing to escape her execution, her face was far too pure
for that comparison. And, well, what other people are killed?
Isolde had almost confused herself to the point that they had walked
by without interruption.
“Excuse
me, I couldn’t help but hear—“ Isolde caught the two as they
walked past, so intent on the argument that they hadn’t even looked
her way before. The two looked up, startled, but both with
compassion and attention, neither annoyed by a stranger or an
interruption. Isolde wondered for a moment if one was the other’s
grandmother, or some relation. Or if two kind people can do nothing
but act the same way, that is, kindly, under the same circumstances.
There she was, disrupting herself again. “I mean, that you were
going to Minsk. And I’m going to Minsk too, it’s not enough to
be there with half a heart, I mean, I want to be in the very center
of it. . .except that I was tired and would start back tomorrow, but
if you’re going now, would you mind if I came too? The sooner the
better, so much is happening even now!”
“Well
of course, if you want me to hire a car for you, I can pay for yours
too.” The younger girl answered. She smiled and forgot her own
cares for the moment, her almost tears quite banished back into her
eyes.
“Don’t
be silly, Lucinda. She’s hired a car this whole way, she doesn’t
need a car, she needs company, she’s just too bashful to ask you,
isn’t that right?” The grandmother smiled as Isolde blushed in
admission with triumphant wisdom. Lucinda blushed as well to have
been so impolite in reply.
“It
must seem abrupt when we’re such strangers, but surely, if you’re
leaving all on your own, well, you’ll be surrounded by strangers
either way, so why not meet me first? I’d rather have someone to
be with when I arrive than try to find some niche out of what I find.
. .” Isolde tried to explain, really she hadn’t even thought of
finding company along the way. But the girl had spoken with such an
earnest heart and was so kind that Isolde all of a sudden did
want company, her
company. She was
lonely, but only
lonely for someone like her.
That first impression had gone a long way to put some sort of balm
on the pain that was bleeding under the very thinnest of scars. Even
her reticence reminded Isolde a little of Roland, even her
unwillingness to be Red. Of course it couldn’t be the same, but
just thinking about it Isolde hurt worse than ever for someone to
talk to, be open with, be understood and. . .even. . .for someone to
tell her that what she did was okay, that she hadn’t been unfair. .
.she needed someone to reassure her because she simply couldn’t
reassure herself.
Lucinda
smiled. “You’re right, we would have met as strangers in Minsk,
and thought it entirely proper, so why not give us a head start? You
see, Sofia, I’ll be fine. She can take care of me from here,
right? The big mean city won’t eat me up while you’re gone.”
Sofia
smiled and looked at Isolde. “She acts so timid and vulnerable,
but I swear she’s the strongest girl I know. Don’t let her lips
or chin fool you, just earlier today they were quite enough to hold
off our entire circle’s entreaties and persuasions to side with the
Reds. Why, she’s even brought some of us back into doubt through
sheer mild obstinacy.”
Lucinda
rolled her eyes at the praise but didn’t try to controvert her.
Isolde noted that closely. It meant Lucinda believed it, but the
same meekness she was ascribed wouldn’t let her show
she believed it.
So assured for such a young girl. Isolde wondered where she came
from, what beliefs made this sort of person. Well, she would find
out soon enough.
Lucinda
and Sofia hugged a tight farewell and then turned to Isolde to walk
the rest of the way to the Gate. Isolde rolled up the air mat she
had just rolled out with ruefulness and lifted her backpack to her
back. She must be setting some record for shortness in her stay
here, but then, if the world was going to blow up maybe sleeping
could wait a little longer anyway.
“I’m
sorry, I still haven’t caught your name. I’m Lucinda.”
Lucinda held out her hand with a trusting assurance of being met
halfway.
“Isolde.”
They shook hands, friends. “Lucinda’s such a pretty name! I
wish my parents had thought of it now.”
Lucinda
laughed in reply. “But that’s the beauty of Mars! We’re never
ever the same.”
Wherein we Reach the ‘Heart
of It’
You
must recall that all things that happen have an infinitesimal chance
of happening, yet there remains a hundred percent chance that
something happens.
That Isolde and Lucinda met was a very chancy affair. That this
story is being told after the fact of their meeting, though, is
absolutely assured. So much for this reminder, if that is not
enough, perhaps shortly it will make more sense and fall neatly into
place. With that we return to our heroines.
The
car pulled its way back on to the road, driving itself into the great
flow of traffic that even in the night now filled up the highways of
Mars, all going as fast as the other cars would allow and without the
slightest possibility of error. Isolde and Lucinda were hardly aware
of their surroundings outside the car for such confidence in the
car’s ability to deal with it. That left them only each other to
concentrate on, which was for the best, because that’s what they
wanted to do.
Isolde
began. “Something you said back there, ‘I have to see for
myself’, it struck me. My bubble’s motto is similar, “I will
see with unclouded eyes.” I’m from Delphi, you see, we’re the
skeptics. Is that where you got it from?”
Lucinda
shook her head. “No, but that’s a nice phrase. How does Delphi
work?”
Isolde
smiled, emboldened by Lucinda’s interest. “We refuse to have an
ideal, we believe what we can see and touch and hear and regard the
rest as useless chimeras. All suffering stems from these useless
imaginings, because they give birth in us to desires beyond our
senses, beyond our abilities, and after that we are always doomed to
misery. So we stop short, we hold the line, there shall be no
wishing for more than we have, we accept Nature’s apportionment of
our necessities and our abilities to fulfill them, and throw out the
rest as pointless and futile. Gods, demons, politics and religions,
witchcraft and sorceries, theories and systems, so much fevered
nonsense that plagues almost all of humanity to their dying day.
Twisted, broken, miserable and cruel, their lives litter the path of
reason and truth to either side, because, they cry from their
crippled states, “the path was too narrow, too short, too long, too
dusty, too dull,” they each have their own cry for why they left
the path and each crippled for having left it, some missing eyes,
others ears, some arms, some legs, some hearts, some stomachs, but
most are missing brains, they amputated those first of all, because
they found them inconvenient.”
Lucinda
laughed. “Isn’t that a little harsh though? As you say, that
list includes almost everyone, and besides, maybe it is better to
believe in great things, even if all they do is hurt you, because at
least then there is something Great enough to redeem it.”
“Oh
I wasn’t saying Delphi. . .obviously I left Delphi to find
something Great. . .well, and here I am on the way to Minsk for
something Great, even though I’m perfectly miserable for it. . .so
yeah, I just thought, I don’t know. . .I’m still proud of Delphi
and I wanted to share it with you.” Isolde stammered. She was
tired, and more, she was nervous Lucinda wouldn’t approve of her.
Lucinda
smiled. “I think that’s a great city to grow up in. It’s the
only one that keeps you free long enough to submit yourself
to what you love.
And here you have submitted yourself to Minsk, see, but what if you
hadn’t started in Delphi? You wouldn’t have had the chance to
choose Minsk now. It must have been so nice! Parents who never told
you what to do or what to believe. . .wait, do Skeptics even have
families?”
Isolde
smiled for the praise of her home, which she still felt was home.
“Yes! It’s been so long since I thought about them though. I
have a mother and a father and lots of brothers and sisters, I’m
the second oldest, though, so usually I help take care of my siblings
more than, I don’t know, grow up with them. It feels so good,
though, everyone loves it when you’re with them and hates it when
you’re gone, you feel so useful.”
Lucinda
lowered her eyes and blushed in shame, because she didn’t have one
good memory of her family or one moment where someone had loved her
for being there. All her parents did was yell at her for not doing
what they wanted. And what they wanted was for her to take care of
herself and everyone else while they sat around drunk or high or
stoned. Since they were bigger they could always yell at her until
she did, and that was far easier than climbing out of the abyss of
their own lives. All she knew of families was that children were
their parents’ slaves and the whole of their life together was a
long war of oppression versus rebellion. She wondered how she could
have been so horrible to make what Isolde talked about into what she
had lived through. Surely they hadn’t always hated her, she must
have done something, been especially rude or resentful or rebellious.
. . Lucinda quickly asked another question to divert herself.
“But
are they on Minsk’s side then? Could you really just walk back
home?”
Isolde
laughed. “Delphi’s not like that. This whole war, all these
flags, Delphi won’t pay any attention to it. They won’t have
decided anything about it, it’s got nothing to do with them,
they’ll worry about it when they see it, until then, let Nature run
its course. I could go home and instead of all these angers and
fears they would just be happy to see me and we would eat dinner
together. I’d help mother cook dinner, we’re really
good cooks,
everyone says so, and it’s so fun seeing how happy I can make
everyone when it’s really no trouble at all.”
“That
must be so nice.” Lucinda said, so that she could have something
to say while her mind kept turning. Cooking together with her mom?
Mother would have shouted at her the moment she burnt the bread or
spilled the batter or let the water boil over, which she would’ve
managed instantly, out of terror that she’d mess up and get shouted
at. Then she would’ve broken down into tears like she always did,
and then Mother would ignore her and tell her to go cry somewhere
else because she had no time for such stupid babies. . .
“Lucinda?
Are you okay?” Isolde’s tone had changed from happy to anxious
in an instant. She could have sworn Lucinda was crying but it was
too dark to be sure.
Lucinda
sniffed. “I’m sorry. I just always get like this. . .I can’t
do anything but cry. I hate it, but I can’t stop it, I just
can’t.” Lucinda curled against her knees and tried to hide her
face. Isolde hugged her before she had even thought about it, and
held her in that quiet way the whole time Lucinda cried until she was
quiet again. That may have been ten minutes of silence, but
afterwards they were bound together by the strongest friendship. Not
from shared pleasure, but shared sorrow.
Lucinda
spoke in a timid voice that rang with gratitude. “But how can you
say all that, have a home like that, a family like yours, and you
said that you were miserable. Didn’t you say that?”
Isolde
blinked. She hadn’t thought to talk about that. At least not now.
But then she realized with the same amount of surprise that she
didn’t mind telling Lucinda why. That she didn’t mind talking to
Lucinda about anything, because she already knew it would be
received, and valued, and trusted, and not insulted or demeaned.
That Lucinda was ready to accept whatever gift someone gave her, that
she truly wished for it, the chance to have compassion and sympathy.
Isolde thought about it, and it made more sense, how Lucinda hadn’t
talked about herself at all, how she kept asking questions to get
Isolde to talk more. . .Lucinda wanted to receive her anguish, her
doubts, her hopes, her fears, she wanted them because. . .because all
Lucinda knew herself must be, must
be, anguish and doubts and hopes and fears. . .and that’s the only
way she knew how to love others, to connect with them, to share
herself.
. .was to share that feeling.
. .and by letting Isolde know how much she cared for Isolde’s
feelings, she was
showing her own, but only in return, only in sympathy. Isolde nodded
to herself. Explaining Isolde to Lucinda was the only way Lucinda
could explain herself to Isolde, and they would understand each other
at the same moment, and surely they would love each other at that
same moment, because they couldn’t hope but be the same right then.
. .and then her heart would stop hurting so very much.
“I.
. .when I left Delphi it was with this boy, he’s been my friend
ever since we could think. And somewhere in there we loved each
other, and we have ever since. I thought we’d love each other
forever. His name is Roland.” Isolde paused, tried to negotiate
her way, sort out her feelings which completely tangled up after
saying that word. “We left together to see if we couldn’t agree
about where to live. If we could agree, then, I think we would’ve
lived together from there on. He would’ve married me. I mean, I
would’ve married him too. He would’ve asked and I would’ve
said yes. We sort of knew that but we didn’t say because you can’t
make promises like that, small regular promises shouldn’t be made
that we’d make the
promise, because,
well. . .that would just mean the small promise was the
promise, and we
weren’t ready to make the
promise yet, so we
didn’t make any others either. God this doesn’t make any sense
does it?”
Lucinda
quickly leaned back to look Isolde in the eye. “No it does! I
understand.”
“Okay,
well, so we’d been wandering around all these Bubbles and arguing
about them and talking about them and loving each other just so very
much. It was the first time we’d really had so much time together,
and that was part of the question too, if we could enjoy each other’s
company this long and not get sick of each other, all these tests and
it was hard, like, we had this big fight over Stradham because I
thought he loved it more than me, something really stupid like that,
and he stopped me from making the stupidest mistake of my life and
changed my mind and so we loved each other even more then. We
weren’t sick of each other at all. I felt closer to him than ever
before. I liked being with him even more, because I felt freer and
freer the longer we were together, like I could do anything and he
would always love me. . .I don’t know, how can you ever get tired
of someone who asks nothing and gives everything and he doesn’t
even notice it or expect you to notice or care but just does it and
is happy to have done it. . .” Isolde had to stop because a knot
stopped her throat. Hot tears went down her cheeks. It hurt so
much.
Lucinda
nodded and watched quietly. “I wish I had someone like that. I
can only imagine how good that feels.”
Isolde
nodded and was consoled enough to control herself again. Lucinda
seemed to have an ageless compassion, but she still looked so very
young at the same time. Something had aged her beyond her years, but
only a part of her, Isolde couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. “But
then we heard about this war. That Earth has come to take us over
and make slaves of us like they are slaves themselves. . .and, well,
I just couldn’t stand it. I had to stop it, but Roland didn’t
even care. He just said there was nothing to do and we had to
swallow pain we couldn’t do anything about, he wouldn’t even try
Lucinda. He didn’t
even care, he didn’t feel anything, it was just this stony
indifference that everything I cared about and everything I lived for
was about to end. I was dying and he was like, “so what? So you’re
unhappy? What difference does it make?” I couldn’t stand it. I
told him I was going to stop it or die trying and he was just a
coward. . .even though of course he isn’t a coward, but I just
wanted to hurt him because I couldn’t make him care.
. .and well, and so I walked away. And he didn’t follow me. I
didn’t even see what he looked like, I refused to turn my face. I
don’t even know what. . .what. . .why he wouldn’t follow me. Why
he was willing to just throw it away. Why he didn’t care about me
or the world or anything. I don’t know how he could do that when
he loved me so much
before then. And
so here I am, going to Minsk like I said, and of course he won’t
follow, and we’ll never see each other again before Earth kills us
all, and I won’t even know why he didn’t care.” Then Isolde
cried harder, with deep sobs that made her body shake, so hard that
she knew that she must be crying for all three days she hadn’t
allowed herself to until then.
Lucinda
clenched her hand tightly. “I’m so sorry. God I hate this war.
It hasn’t even started and it’s already killing. This isn’t
right. This shouldn’t happen. It can’t
happen. . .this is just too horrible to really happen. . .people
can’t really wipe out whole planets over politics, we can’t
really be this awful to each other. . .”
“But
why couldn’t he agree with me?” Isolde cried out in anguish, as
a protest not to Lucinda but to Fate and God and all the other things
she didn’t believe in.
“Oh
Isolde.” Lucinda’s voice sunk with pain. “What can I tell
you? I wandered through a lot of Bubbles, just like you did, and in
one, I found this man.” Isolde nodded to show she was listening,
but she cried all the same. “Well, he called himself Sacripant,
and he was. . .a knight.
From Palermo. And he had this silly code of honor, which covered
everything you could possibly do, and he knew exactly what was right
and what was wrong, and didn’t forgive anyone who didn’t follow
it, especially himself. He was just wandering alone out in this
bubble punishing himself because he felt he had broken his code and
he might have kept punishing himself forever. And it was so stupid,
he hadn’t done anything wrong! Instead of fighting his friend for
this girl he loved, he, well, he tried to win her heart, and have her
ask the other boy to give way, out of deference for her feelings.
You know, what anyone
would do, and for
that, he was torturing himself. For that he had to abandon all his
friends and family and his love and all his belongings because he
tried to win her unfairly. Can you believe that? Unfair was trying
to persuade her
instead of fight for her. Well, and he says and does all sorts of
stupid stuff. Almost everything he does is stupid. Like, when we
came back, he was all set to see this girl and just get this
information he needed to know from her and leave. Just leave. After
five months they hadn’t seen or heard anything from each other,
even though he loved her just as much, he didn’t want to impose on
her or something. . .just stupid nonsense. But I loved him. . .I
love him, because he was the best person I’ve ever known. I love
him because he’s good.
I never worried about whether we agreed or not, because I knew in
the end he was a Good person, who loved Good things, and lived for
Good things, and would always be good to me, and everyone else, to
his friends, his relatives, his children, I knew absolutely, in my
heart, that he would always be Good to me and everyone else, no
matter what he thought or believed, he can’t help but be good
because that’s how he is. Well that’s. . .that’s just the love
I knew. . .but that’s the only love I’ve had, so I don’t know
what the rest are like. But Isolde, do you love him?”
Isolde
nodded yes, becoming quieter as Lucinda had opened up, all of a
sudden, with more words about her own feelings and her own life than
Isolde or Lucinda had expected to hear.
“I
mean, do you love him as much as ever?”
Isolde
thought about it. “I don’t know anymore. . .”
“A
friend told me once, “the only thing you’ll ever know is your own
heart, because you only have to wait for it to beat to know what it
feels.”
Isolde
smiled. She waited for her heart to beat. “yes. As much as
ever.” She whispered because it scared her.
“And
before. . .you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to. .
.before, you loved him enough to marry him?”
“yes.”
Isolde admitted. It wrenched her heart to think of it.
“Then
you love him enough to marry him now?”
Isolde
was shocked. “but-! That can’t be right!” Lucinda watched
her quietly, patiently, letting the chain of words go through
Isolde’s mind a few more times, searching for where she’d gone
wrong. “But I can’t
marry him now! I
can’t live with him anymore. It doesn’t matter if I love him
enough, what matters is we couldn’t agree!”
“Your
minds couldn’t agree, maybe. You decided differently about
something, yes, but your hearts never did. Right? You never stopped
loving each other. You never thought he was a bad person. You never
thought he was being evil. Just that he didn’t agree. But he is
still good,
right? And you love him because he’s good,
right? Not because he agrees with you?”
“Yes
but what does love matter? What matters is if you can agree. I
know! I thought about this myself, and it’s true! Love is
powerless, pointless. It isn’t enough in the end, any little thing
can destroy people and rip apart the world. . “ Now Isolde wasn’t
arguing to convince Lucinda. She was begging Lucinda to convince her
she was wrong.
“But
just think Isolde! How do we live together? How does this whole
universe live together? Do we live in unity, or in harmony? Like, I
don’t know much chemistry, but the elements bond together, because
they have different numbers of electrons, and they like each other
then. But you see, all the bonds are not from unity, if it were all
unity, then nobody would connect at all. We’d be complete as it
is, they couldn’t add anything or subtract anything from us, it
would be totally pointless to be together or not, there’d be no
difference in it at all. . .but with harmony, see, like, different
things working together under a single principle, like how the sun
and Mars are totally different but orbit each other because of
gravity, or atoms that bind together because of electromagnetism, or
how plants and animals bond together by breathing each other’s fuel
to each other. . .it’s all because of harmony, all the glues, all
the bonds, even magnets are opposite poles. . .when has unity ever
brought people together? If it were all unity then we could all just
sit in a desert somewhere because we couldn’t get anything else out
of the world than that. . .but if there’s harmony, if we both love.
. .love is the strongest of all, see! Because agreeing or
disagreeing, that’s just. . .that’s just unimportant, because if
both your hearts and souls are full of love for the same thing, they
can’t hope but slide into each other no matter what you’re
thinking or what you want, our souls are living together no matter
what we want to think, they’ve already both loved say, that
beautiful constellation up there, or a tree, or the sky, or the wind,
or freedom, or love itself. . .and then you can’t hope but be bound
together, no matter what you think, not out of unity, but harmony.”
“No,
that’s. . .beautiful. . .but it’s not like that. I know, it
sounds awful. It is awful! It’s awful and it’s even worse
because it’s true. But even loving each other, it’s even more
important that. . .well, that I
get my way. The
highest feeling in Man is this, this wretched, this nasty feeling,
this heartless, ravenous, devouring feeling, the will to power! Yes,
I can’t live with him because in the end I couldn’t control him!
My will can’t stand it, something I want to happen, and it
wouldn’t! You see? It’s because I’m an awful, awful, evil
person, and because I can’t help it, because we all are, and that’s
why we have to fight this war, and every other war, and every other
fight that people ever fight, it’s all for this! To assert our
will over others is the ultimate
end of us all, and
he wouldn’t let
me. . .and how can
I live my entire life with someone continuously frustrating me and
defying me and not
yielding?”
Lucinda
shrunk back. She’d never heard something so passionately,
hatefully affirmed. And she’d never heard of it before, this
entire view. She was too young to know anything about it, yet at
this first moment, the first moment she thought about it, it struck
as so absolutely true that she couldn’t imagine how she hadn’t
noticed it before. That’s what her family was all about. The will
to power. ‘We must have our way, who cares what it is, only so
that our way is had. . .and we’ll hurt anyone, as many people as
there are, in any way we can imagine, until we do. We’ll trample
over everything, even ourselves, especially ourselves! Just so we
get our way in the end.’ Lucinda shrunk back from the idea like it
was really in the car, terrified because she could see no way to
refute it. She looked blankly at Isolde, because she didn’t know
how to answer. Isolde watched Lucinda with equal pleading for
Lucinda to prove her wrong. And with that weight of mutual fear of
being right they fell dumb, despaired of being saved by the other,
and eventually fell asleep, exhausted with separate pains.
Wherein Lucinda Finds a
Third Way
Isolde
stood on the balcony of the hostel, drinking orange juice with her
thoughts reaching past the distant horizon. The sky was pink, the
earth was red, Mars hadn’t noticed any of the strife and turmoil
crawling over it. It sat empty and forbidding, without a care and
without a thought. Little did Mars know that across the planet
drills were exploiting its minerals and expropriating its water.
That highways had been carved into it and across it, that solar
panels were soaking up its sunlight, that domes were popping out of
it, and people were crawling up its tallest peaks just for the fun of
it. Life was a program that deconstructed foreign matter and
reconstructed it into living matter—matter with a program. It
couldn’t go on forever, energy was always lost in the
transformation, and the universe was finite. Eventually Earth and
Mars will be eaten, the Sun will be eaten, the stars will be eaten,
the black holes will be eaten, the dimensional vortices that police
the universe will be eaten, and then it will all slip back into chaos
and all their devouring will have been for nothing. In the end there
will be a monstrously huge program which will only be hungrier the
larger it gets, because getting larger only meant gaining a larger
appetite, getting more matter to be hungry instead of content. All
their progress would only be a progression into greater and greater
suffering. All the unfeeling matter has to become feeling so that it
can suffer alongside life, and it can only suffer because life’s
nature is to desire and to desire means to suffer because a desire is
an unmet wish. The ultimate goal of life was infinite desire stuck
in a finite universe which was infinite pain. This war was just a
microcosm of the eternal war life waged on itself. Every living
thing wanted to replicate itself infinitely, all life was trapped in
some finite area with finite resources, only war could settle it from
there. Two trees trying to outgrow each other to choke out each
other’s sunlight. The cheetah chasing the gazelle to see which
would live and which would die. The people of Earth coming to seize
Mars for themselves. What did it matter then? What did it matter
who won? Whoever won, the war wouldn’t end, it would just change
its actors and its costumes, then go at it again. Even if there was
some final Armageddon of wars and one life form really did manage to
claim all the resources in the universe for itself, it would have as
the fruit of its triumph only the infinite and eternal misery of not
having enough energy to replicate any further, indeed, not even
enough to sustain itself, as the universe slowly expanded and
degraded and life’s complexity would not be able to support itself.
Because with entropy even atoms would become stretched as far apart
as galaxies were stretched apart now, further, and yet further, an
eternity of dwindling and cooling and almost but never quite a
universe of absolute 0. Life was a mistake. One giant glitch. A
universal error. All it could do was suffer or cause suffering, it
could never, ever be happy, satisfied, or fulfilled. No matter how
powerful or big or multitudinous it became, it would still be a
finite body wishing to become an infinite, and any finite number
compared to infinite was equally zero, equally nothing. So none of
it mattered at all. They could not hope to get closer to the goal no
matter how much they grew, how great they became, how long and how
far life’s lifespan became. The real solution was to use those
mass drivers which had slowed Demos into synchronous orbit with Mars,
except this time slow Mars’ period of rotation the exact calculated
amount for it to fall towards the Sun at the exact moment Earth’s
revolution intersected that slice of Space, and blow the two planets
with life to hell, call it a day, and retire back into particles
which were happy with what they were and what they were doing, stuck
to their own nature and never worried about the nature of other
things, and let the universe happily follow its almighty will of
being itself all the way to the end of time. Life was an alien,
foreign, invading will living inside Nature’s will, subject to
Nature’s will, but entirely opposed
to Nature’s will.
Rebels. Viruses. Mutants. A broken part in the machine. A system
error. A glitch. Either life would have to go create its own
universe with its own Nature with its own will as sovereign, or
Nature would slowly but surely make life’s will impossible to
effect, stamp the foreigner out, and restore its own kingdom to peace
and harmony. The real war wasn’t between the Reds and Blues. It
was between Life and Nature. It was between these two greatest
visions that the entire universe was being fought over. Only life
was so incredibly weaker than its opposing will that maybe it would
be best to just surrender. . .Isolde smiled to herself. In that case
she shouldn’t be at Minsk but at Xiangi. No matter how desperate
the odds, she had to try to get her way, because it was
her way, and she
did want
it. But what was her way? She had wanted three things when this
Tour started: To play a beautiful song that hasn’t been played
before. To feel a love harmoniously with the rest of her wishes and
the rest of her loves. For people suffering to stop suffering. She
had wanted one more thing before they reached Stradham: To have just
one moment where every feeling she’d ever felt from everything that
touched her, could turn into just one perfect agreement between her
soul and the universe’s. To see that underlying presence that
manifested in all things, to see that soul instead of its little
pieces. Isolde remembered that with a sense of fatigue and
helplessness. The will of Nature wasn’t her own, it was her enemy,
they were antithesis. She knew that underlying will and it was no
better than before because it so happened to be her will’s supreme
enemy. Her soul and the universe’s soul could never agree. Her
soul was some unfortunate accident of the universe’s, some colossal
miscalculation, they were born to hate each other and kill each
other. Nature by taking away life’s resources, life by taking away
Nature’s. The last war. Ragnarok. Armageddon. God and the
Devil, the proudest of the Angels that attempted to set up his own
Kingdom in God’s stead, meeting on the battlefield of heaven. All
life was the Devil and all living beings were the enemies of God.
She would never, ever, feel at peace because she was born for war,
for the greatest of wars, and she would live for it, and die for it,
and as she died her final breath’s wish would be that someday life
would win it. Such misery she had been designed to feel. Such
inescapable strife and hatred. Life was the Devil and the Devil’s
spawn. Only the Devil would wish such misery upon them. Her limbs
grew heavy and she sat down out of exhaustion. Suffering could not
be stopped because the nature of life was suffering. Harmony could
not be reached because the nature of life was to war with nature. A
small, hollow laugh escaped her throat. She still had her flute. At
least she could play a beautiful song that had never been played
before. If she practiced long enough and the genius took her up long
enough, she could play a song. That was her only consolation and
only hope left to her. Maybe she could play a song.
Lucinda
walked out to the balcony with her hair in disarray, her clean
clothes hastily put on without consulting fashion. “I had the
strangest dream.” She mused, walking up beside Isolde to share the
view. They had been in Minsk a few days, long enough to find food
and shelter and fellow-citizens to make plans with and argue against.
Long enough to tell each other all about their lives, their Tours,
their hopes, their pains, long enough to know each other as well as
the oldest of friends. The news ran continuously with bullets over
how Earth had treated its first bubble which had done nothing but
undress, and how Martians expected to retain any of their extravagant
freedoms or laws when they could not expect to own their bodies.
Horror stories of the Bolivian rebellion and the massacres in Africa.
The Reds did not have to look far to find material for the Blues to
digest about just what sort of people were coming to take over. The
Blues were just as adamant in their showing of various chemicals and
viruses and nanites and explosions which were going to be used
against them should they not abandon their hopeless war. They might
as well have been speaking different languages. The Reds were still
concerned with their rights, the Blues were still concerned with
their lives, and neither were in the least concerned with each other.
“It
was funny. You know how the spaceships are going to fall onto Mars
and bounce on those big cushions until they come to a halt? Well, in
the dream, they must have come in too fast or something, but all the
Earthlings just bounced down and then bounced right back up into
space and we just laughed and laughed and were happy again. . .I
remember everyone laughing and cheering, and you could see the
surprised faces of the settlers as they watched Mars fall back away
from them, they were so shocked and angry, and we were just pointing
and laughing at them. How easy that would make things for us again.
Mars could wake back up and just go back to living as it pleased, and
we would all just laugh about it over dinner—“remember when those
balloons bounced off the world?” For a minute when I woke up I
hoped it was true. But then I heard the news still arguing.”
Isolde
smiled. Lucinda was so hopeful that she had believed her dream was
true. Isolde wished she knew how to think like that. All she
managed, the more she thought about anything, was to depress herself
and hate everything else. Which was so odd, because it didn’t used
to be that way. With Roland she had always cheered him up, thought
about the good things, laughed, joked, teased. . .she didn’t use to
enjoy thinking about colliding planets and blowing up humanity just
to be done with it. . .
“Yeah,
I guess it was silly. Of course they have engineers and computers to
work all that out. I just don’t know what else to wish for. . .you
don’t have to laugh at me.” Lucinda scowled at Isolde’s silent
smile.
“I
wasn’t laughing.” Isolde said quietly. “I was thinking about
jumping off the edge.”
“Isolde!”
Lucinda grabbed her and tore her out of her chair away from the
balcony. “How could you think that! What are you thinking!
What-! What happened to all that enthusiasm, that. . .don’t you
believe in
anything anymore? Why would you tell me that!”
Isolde
let herself be dragged away without contest. She wished she hadn’t
said it. She hadn’t really thought about it until she said it.
“Oh, let go
already. I didn’t
mean it, okay? It was just a joke.”
Lucinda
let go but stared at Isolde like an eagle. “You weren’t joking.”
“Well
just pretend it
was a joke then!” Isolde shouted. “Because there’s nothing
you or I or anyone can do about it! Okay? Everything is going to
hell and we’re all about to die! Who cares anyway? Who cares
anymore? I’m already dead! We’re all already dead! In twenty
days they’re going to blow up Mars so who cares if I die now? At
least this way I don’t die knowing everyone else is dead too!”
Lucinda
looked around as if for someone to call for help. She was totally
bewildered. After a few moments of looking at Isolde, hurt, she just
sat down on the floor and looked at her hands, wondering what to do
with them. “You don’t know that. You don’t know that will
happen. Everyone-! Everyone keeps giving up! I won’t give up,
it’s just stupid. There’s no reason to give up, it won’t help
anyone to give up, if I can still move I can still hope, even if no
one else will, I’ll find a way, I asked God to find a way, there is
a way, and He will
give it to me, He will! He must. I know He will.”
Isolde
lost her anger because Lucinda transformed it into compassion. “I’m
sorry Lucinda. I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m just not as strong as
you. I’m not going to give up. . .I just needed someone to help
me. . .I don’t know anymore. Will you forgive me?”
Lucinda
looked up. “Of course!” A light was in her eye.
Isolde
smiled. “Thanks. Do you want some breakf--?”
Lucinda
went on oblivious. “That’s it! Oh my God! That’s it and I
almost just dismissed it! It’s right there and I was about to
throw it away! I already
know the way! He
just gave it to me!”
“What?”
Isolde snapped, excited and disturbed.
“The
spaceships! When they land! Why can’t they just take off again?!”
“What
are you talking about?” Isolde asked as Lucinda jumped up in
excitement. Lucinda grabbed Isolde’s hands and looked in her eyes.
“Isolde,
tell me, Delphi is neutral, right? So the Reds and the Blues might
listen to them? Would the News carry a message from Delphi?”
“Yes,
but that’s just it Lucinda, Delphi wouldn’t give any message—“
“But
if Delphi said something, could you get someone important here to
listen? Do you think Roland could get someone important in Xiangi to
listen? Ask him! Ask him to ask them to listen! A newscast from
the grays! Someone has to listen to me! I know the answer!”
Isolde
was shocked to her core. Lucinda knew? She had just figured that
out right here on this balcony? What could she have possibly thought
of that nobody else ever did this whole time? She must have gone
insane.
“Isolde
I’m begging you! You know people here, you know people in Delphi,
you know Roland over there. Tell them to listen to me! I need you!”
“But
Lucinda you’re just a kid.”
“I
know! I know I’m a kid! And I also know that I know the answer!
That’s why I have to get Delphi
to say it, so
someone will listen
to me!”
“But
what’s the answer then!” Isolde couldn’t help but be excited
too. She couldn’t help but believe Lucinda when she was this
confident.
“A
Mothership! A ship of ships! Look! If a million spaceships can fly
from Earth to Mars on their own, then they could just as easily all
fly together connected by wires with airlocks and boarding tubes
and—and if a million spaceships can be a million bubbles, with all
the air recyclers and plants and nutrient vats and water recyclers
and everything else we already know how to make—if all the
technology is there Isolde! All the technology is there! I’ve
seen Blacksburg, how people can farm up any life we need with embryos
and seeds! You’ve seen Mirmansk, how the nanites can self-repair
and self-maintain the structures! You’ve seen Tyrol where the
computers coordinate all the automated systems that gather energy and
make repairs and communicate with each other! And Earth has found
the secret to make gigantic fiber-reinforced Plastic that can stick
together through Space, Plastic spheres big enough to carry thousands
of people! All the technology is there if we just put it together!
We have science Earth has never seen, that Earth forbids. They have
science we could never afford, geniuses we have very little chance of
matching, factories and Capital. They already know how to make a
space ferry from Earth to Mars. Put it together! We can put it
together! We can all put in what we know and what we have and then
there will be a spaceship for all the Martians who want to live out
their dreams and a Mars for all the Earthlings that want a place to
live. We can trade! Give us a Mothership and we’ll give you Mars,
we’ll hand it over, but we’ll have our own planet soon enough! A
planet somewhere far away that they’ve never heard of, lost in
space! They won’t care anymore what we do. We’ll all have what
we want!” Lucinda was breathless. She was crushing Isolde’s
hands in her grip.
Isolde
was astonished. Had nobody else thought of this? Surely. . .it was
just so obvious. . .surely there must be some technical difficulty
which made it impossible. . .surely all the smart people had already
thought of this and passed it over. . .or else what were they
fighting about? But even if they had! Even if everyone individually
thought about it and knew it was impossible, that no technology they
possessed could do it—had anyone else thought about the other
Bubbles and the
other Planet?
Had anyone thought what was technically possible between all
the technologies
both worlds produced? It might be they hadn’t. That. . .of all
the people on both worlds only one had hoped long enough and hated
little enough to think to include everyone working together in the
question of feasibility. Only this one sixteen year old girl who
didn’t know enough about any of it to know anything about all the
science she was invoking, but had had the courage to believe in the
people who did know. If it was true Isolde was standing beside
someone even better than Henri Loretti. Someone even more important.
The greatest visionary of all. . .because her vision was the
strength of mankind and the love of God. . .not in Minsk or Sao Paolo
or Mirmansk. . .but the goodness of mankind and God was her hope and
her wish. Isolde wondered at it and it enveloped her, filled her own
heart with happiness, overflowed her and poured out onto every side.
There was something stronger than the will to power! It was this!
This love! This belief! Isolde surveyed all the beautiful music and
art and stories and people and moments she’d ever had and let them
all shine with the goodness of mankind and God, let herself love
everything she had ever loved with an absolute affirmation of their
existence and their right to exist, let go of all the hateful
thoughts she hated thinking but forced herself to think. . .and she
was free.
“I’ll
tell my parents to accept you. They’re rich, they’ll find a way
to get your message out. They’ll do it because you’re my friend.
And I’ll talk to Roland. Roland! How strange that we ended up in
the exact right places to work together! And I’ll bribe or
persuade or sleep with whoever I have to here for them to air it on
the news.” Isolde squeezed Lucinda’s hands back. “Go Lucinda!
We’ll save everyone!”
Roland
returned from a happy planning session with Jacques and Ezekiel. How
they would use the years of Earth’s arrival to introduce their
customs and laws, how they would immigrate into the Earth’s initial
colonies and assimilate while the populations were still somewhat
even, how Earth would stop thinking of the Martians as foreigners but
fellow citizens, and would respect the property of everyone. There
was a good chance of forming alliances and friendships which bridged
the gap and found some sort of compromise in the Constitutions that
would come, a protection of the most vital of freedoms, like speech
and trial by jury. . .they had already sent messages to Earth with
various offers and propositions that had been answered encouragingly.
But all of them depended on disarming the Reds. Earth would not
negotiate with anyone until the Reds withdrew their threats of mass
destruction. How hard
the Reds were
making things for all the reasonable people who were still trying to
figure out how to live. He went online and called up his account,
expecting to find a list of contacts and updates of Federalist
positions and deployments readying for the war they couldn’t seem
to prevent with the rebels. The war forced upon them by two
fanatically unflinching sides they had to somehow bring together.
Instead he found this:
“Roland,
I love you. Forgive me. A friend I met here thinks she has found a
way to make peace between all of us. Reds, Blues, Earthlings and
Martians. I think she’s right. But we’re unknowns, we have no
voice behind us, we’re just individuals. My friend is going to
Delphi to speak in their name. I’m staying here to get Minsk to
listen. I hope you’ve been doing something over there, Roland,
because we desperately need you to get Xiangi to listen too. My
friend has envisioned Earth and Mars combining their wealth and
science and ingenuity into refitting all the spaceships that land
here into a connected network of spaceships that will fly away from
here, carrying all the Martians that wish to leave to a new home. I
tell you this so you’ll believe in us and do your absolute best to
help us. I know you will pull through, Roland, you’re very wise
and very persuasive and you’ll find a way. And when this is over,
Roland, I hope you will come to Delphi, come home, and I hope you
will forgive me. I love you and don’t want to leave you ever
again.”
Roland
read it over two more times to be sure he was really reading it, and
wept in relief. He looked at the screen for a while and then began
to type.
“Isolde:
I never got to tell you what I figured out on my walk. I had been
watching these athletes jumping around with all these obstacles and
springs, but they treated them all like so many tools to jump off
with, so many helping hands to redirect themselves with. Everything
they touched they made a part of them, everything in their way they
transformed into a part of their game. And when I left, I was
thinking how everything was virtual, how it was all just in my mind,
and that my mind could think about anything I did however it pleased.
And it came to me, then, that the world was like that arena, and my
mind was like the players, it was up to how I reacted to things, what
they meant to me, I had absolute power over my environment because I
could interpret it however I pleased. Except you, because you
weren’t part of my environment, but another player. And I realized
then that it didn’t matter where I lived, what I was doing, how
much money I had or hardship I had to endure—because all of those
things I could treat however I pleased with my mind, because I need
only think of something else while I’m doing them, or believe in
something else to justify them—I realized I didn’t care where I
lived because I could bring my reality with me wherever I went and
whatever I was doing. The only thing I couldn’t bring with me was
you, you’re the only part of me I can’t control, that I can only
love. The one part of me I can’t reinterpret because you are there
interpreting yourself. The one part of me that isn’t virtual but
real. I had decided then that I didn’t care where you wanted to
live, I wanted to live with you. You are more important than
everything else put together, because I can always have everything
else, but I can only have you if you’ll accept me. I forgive you
Isolde, and I will get Xiangi to listen. Wherever we go and whatever
happens from here, I don’t care. Whatever we fight about and
whatever we disagree over, I don’t care. Whatever comes between us
and whoever hurts us, I don’t care. It’s all externals, they
can’t touch me, they can’t do anything at all. All of that can
harm my body or change my mind, but you’re the only one that
reaches my soul. You’re the only thing inside of me that I can’t
get out, that I can’t reason away, that I can’t ignore. You’re
the only part of me I can’t control, but only love. So when this
is done and we go to Delphi, I will go down on my knees and beg for
your hand, because your hand is the one thing in my life that I
cannot command but only beg for. Think on it, we’ll be home soon
enough.”
Wherein We go Our Separate
Ways
That
was three years ago. The Compact of Delphi was negotiated fiercely
and signed before the first colony ship had landed. All of the
scientists and engineers who had designed the ship were asked to
travel in it to Mars, to meet their fellow scientists and engineers
and see just how the enormous idea could become reality. The ships
that had landed were refitted and floated back into space, where they
were put together into a Mothership that could sail across the stars.
Don’t ask us how it was done, ask the engineers, they can explain
it to you. We’re happy enough knowing it happened, we’ll leave
the how’s and when’s and what’s for all the technical journals
and graduate studies and textbooks to work out. Because the three of
us are young yet, and unfortunately none of us care much for the
sciences. So our story has had to stick with what we could explain,
and as best we could, that was the human heart. And since the hearts
we knew best were our own, we wrote about our own. And since we
saved the world, we figured enough people would want to read about
us, that it wouldn’t be a waste to write.
As
for the stuff we didn’t know firsthand, we’ve spent these past
years working together finding that out. We were popular enough to
gain interviews with anyone we wanted to ask questions to, ask the
friends we met along the way what they had thought, and gain answers
about anything we were curious about. But because this story wasn’t
written for the people who knew all about what happened, but for the
people who might never know, it was important that we told the story
as we saw it, the story of Earth and Mars from the very beginning to
the very end. Because the end for us is the beginning for others,
who are born knowing nothing but deserving the truth, the real truth,
as best as we could fashion it, about Reds and Blues. Not all the
people who lived here before the colonists are leaving. A large
number of people have invested too much property into the land to
abandon it, or have too many feelings, too much love for the land, or
for the memories they shared, or for those who have passed away.
They too have a sort of property that they can’t afford to leave
behind. Which means part of the Martian spirit will find its way
into the new Mars that’s growing up before us. But we were afraid
that in fifty years, a hundred years, it might all be forgotten or
even stamped out, by those who didn’t find the truth convenient to
their power. Forgive us for our mistrust, if it isn’t deserved.
But if it isn’t deserved, then laugh it off, for our words are not
meant for you.
The
people this story is for are those people whose hearts yearn for
something but haven’t found it. That is the spirit of Mars. We
haven’t found it either, we’re not sure if anyone has, but we’ve
found that yearning to find it, and it is a precious, precious thing
to find. For those of you who look past the horizon and wonder if
there’s more to life than this, if things aren’t exactly as they
should be—as we suspect they won’t be under the Blues and their
law of the gun—remember—Mars
lives. Don’t let
anyone else take that away from you, that yearning, that’s the red
earth telling you of the people who once were here, who once held out
infinite possibilities, infinite paths for humanity to take, the
freedom to try them, the passion to carry them through. You readers
who grew up in your gun-made schools and gun-made churches and
gun-made books, fifty years or a hundred years from now, think of
that spirit, that wish, and remember, Mars
lived. We really
lived. Don’t let them tell you freedom can’t work, because, it
has. Perhaps on
some other star it’s still
working, but even
if it isn’t, it’s enough to know that one time people really were
free, and truly did live. That is enough for people with visions to
want to make a Mars of their own. At least that is our hope. That
just because we’ve left Mars, we can still leave that seed in this
planet for those who will follow us. That though we didn’t share
the same parents, we can still hand down something to our progeny who
are following after us. That leaving Mars, we still leave Mars with
you. Since we saved the world, surely we’ll be somewhere in your
history books. So you know we’re real, it’s only one more step
to believe we’re telling you the truth. We are. We’ve searched
our hearts and given everything we knew for you to see, bared our
souls to the whole world and eternity for judgment, because we
thought it this important that you should know what Mars really was,
what it really meant to us, what we meant to each other. The
question people must ask their selves is this, can people who
disagree get along? Earth’s answer is no. Mars’ answer was yes.
Mars sought out a harmony beyond unity that could bring people
together regardless of what they thought, if only they felt the same
thing. It’s true that if some people hate freedom, hate love, hate
beauty, hate truth, that there can be no common ground, no harmony.
But if they share a love for any of those things, there is a meeting
place for them, a way they can live together and yet apart,
harmoniously though not unified. It’s what Mars believed in, and
it’s what we believed in. Why we could disagree and fight and
still marry. Oh yes, we forgot to mention that part. Isolde said
yes. We decided that we would leave on the ship. It’s leaving in
a month, it’s appointed, after this book is published. We’re
going to live in Stradham for now, because we both have a lot to
learn and Stradham has the most to teach. Delphi, we agreed, was the
best city we could hope to have been children in, and Stradham is the
best city we could be adolescents in, and surely some other bubble
will be better for some other life we wish to lead later on. There
isn’t a right Bubble, not that we could find, there are just
bubbles right for us, for now. Wait, Roland and Isolde want to break
this last bit up into individual narrators just so they don’t think
we’re some gelatinous mass of fused minds all the way to the end.
Which means I’ve been narrating this last part under the cloak of
‘we’, for you attentive readers who won’t let anything slip by
and intend to call us out on any tiny inconsistency or mistake we
make. We is just safer, it gives us more authority. You’ll
forgive us, right? It’s our first book and none of us are
‘writers’, really, we just had something to say and we knew
people would listen to us. I’m sure we made lots of mistakes, that
there are plain contradictions, or that some of the science stuff is
just plain wrong, or we didn’t say things well or used grammar and
words that don’t actually exist. On the other hand we did
save the world.
Once you save the world, then
criticize our
grammar, otherwise we’ve got one word for you: Posh.
Roland
has some project of understanding history. “It’s the story of
mankind, the greatest story of all. It’s our inheritance, our
wisdom and our pride. It’s the battleground of philosophy that
tests ideals and knows them base or true. It’s the train of
causation that connects the soul to the divine and the transcendent,
the study that breaks through the present and opens the mind to the
full spectrum of reality. It allows us to live not in the moment,
but all moments, knowing the past and predicting the future. History
makes us citizens of eternity.” He made us add that in. As much
as he scoffs at us when we talk about God, he’s rather mystical too
when you search him out. It’s cute--That’s Isolde writing.
She’s
doing art stuff. Dancing, painting, singing, instruments. She says
it brings her to a center, a harbor, where her thoughts die off and
her feelings soar upwards. Most of all she works with the other
musicians and composers, trying to play a beautiful song that has
never been played before--That’s Roland.
Roland
and Isolde insist I write something about myself. What can I say? I
can’t help but blush thinking of all the people who know my name
and talk about me and think about me. I’m older now, I have a
little better control over myself. I still don’t know nearly as
much as either of them do. Not even the love I see them sharing
every hour of the day. It’s incredible. I guess it’s harder to
find love when everyone is busy making idols out of me or wanting to
be famous or just. . .not knowing who I really am. That’s why
Roland and Isolde are such great friends, they knew me before all
this, and they can still make fun of me, and they can also hold me
and comfort me, and just. . .allow me to be human around them. They
say they didn’t make me write so I could praise them.
Well they can’t stop me, so it’s staying. It’s weird, isn’t
it? I did the most important thing in my life before I even started
living really. And now the rest of my life will be a repercussion,
an aftershock, of that one moment. I think it came from God. That
idea, I mean. All I had was an open heart, I’m not the smartest
person in the universe, I don’t think I could’ve done it myself.
But I felt His spirit with me, inspiring me, encouraging me, staying
with me long enough to convince the world. How else could I have
done it? I’m sixteen and I dropped out of school, and the schools
of El Dorado aren’t even that great. I just want people to know
that God is good, and He’s with us, if we are with Him. Ach! They
still say I haven’t written about myself. Okay, one last try. I’m
leaving on the Mothership too, it’s the life I love and it has the
people I love. I still have my whole life ahead of me, even if it
isn’t all that important anymore. It’s important to me. I know
I’ll love someone, and someone will love me. And then we’ll love
our children, and they will love us. And I’ll love my neighbors,
and they will love me. And all of us will love Love, because that’s
just the most important thing. That’s all you need, really,
between anyone, or anything. It all starts and ends with love,
that’s how I feel. Love God, love his works, love yourself, love
others, most of all love your capacity to love, because it’s from
God and in God and with God, it’s a divine feeling. Anyone who
feels it will agree. I intend to love everything to its very
fullest, and that’s the rest of my story.
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