Maybe the best way to advertise this book is to let the waifus speak in their own words. Though dialogue often isn't the best line in a book, it's still a good indicator of quality. If I rounded up the best lines of dialogue from each and every waifu, would that be persuasive to the fence sitters that this really is something special?
Cute-sama (Amsynth):
Cute smiled to herself just thinking how much she loved him, mulling over how to explain herself. "Christopher values things correctly. He disdains the disdainful and honors the honorable. His judgment is supreme. Even when I think of something as no big deal, when I investigate his thinking, his appraisal, I realize that he was right and I was wrong. He's taught me the beauty and wonder and greatness of so many things, that I would've overlooked as pebbles on the road. Kagome, you are one of those things. You and all the other wives, all the other stories you came from, he saw the value in them that I could not, not until I learned them from him. And for that he has my eternal gratitude. I may have omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence and omnibenevolence, but his eye for the true value of things is more divine than mine."
Cure Dream (Nozomi Yumehara) from Yes Pretty Cure 5 (CV: Yuko Sanpei) (Age 14-15):
"The principal felt there were extenuating circumstances seeing as how they were all properly married." Cure Dream said with fists on her hips. "Should we have instead reported the statutory rapist to the authorities?"
Cure Lemonade (Urara Kasugano) from Yes Pretty Cure 5 (CV: Mariya Ise) (Age 13-14):
"Fuck me to pieces, Senpai. I don't care anymore. I want you so much. I love you so much. Cum inside me and give me your children." Urara sobbed, pushing her butt back into my groin seekingly.
Cure White (Honoka Yukishiro) from Futari wa Pretty Cure (CV: Yukana Nogami) (Age 14-15):
"Pretty Cure Marble Screw!" Honoka shouted, gripping my hands tight like we always had, only this time with my penis inside her.
Cure Egret (Mai Mishou) from Futari wa Pretty Cure Splash Star (CV: Atsuko Enomoto) (Age 13-14):
"Do you believe in fate?" Mai's purple eyes and purple hair spread out around her and welcomed me in.
Cure Flora (Haruka Haruno) from Go! Princess Pretty Cure (CV: Yu Shimamura) (Age 13):
"I'm betting everything on you. I'm putting all my faith in your stupid VR game. I put my life, my fate, into your hands. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Haruka said gently, and put her hand over mine.
Cure Magical (Riko Izayoi) from Mahoutsukai Pretty Cure (CV: Yui Horie) (Age 13-14):
"I love you too." Riko blushed, her words completely drowned out by the crowd's noise, but her eyes glimmered and danced as they looked into mine, so I knew how she felt even without the words.
Asuna Yuuki from Sword Art Online (CV: Haruka Tomatsu) (Age 15-18):
"Why do I have the sinking feeling that not only can you not pull off a Starburst Stream, you're going to be completely useless at everything?" Asuna asked me with her chestnut colored eyes narrowing.
Silica (Keiko Ayano) from Sword Art Online (CV: Rina Hidaka) (Age 12-15):
Pina perched on Silica's shoulder as she fed it a small brownie. "I want to play with Christopher, if you two wouldn't mind." She said bashfully.
Leafa (Suguha Kirigaya) from Sword Art Online (CV: Ayana Taketatsu) (Age 15-16):
"Could you call me 'Sugu' again?" She begged almost inaudibly while looking down at her lap.
Rin Natsume from Little Busters! (CV: Tomoe Tamiyasu) (Age 16-17):
"Itai, itai-na! Lenin, no claws! No claws, Lenin! Not now. Kora. Dame, Lenin, okotteru!" Suddenly she was tackling her cat, her body emerging from the sea of stripes like a whale piercing the water, and started tickling his belly.
Haruka Saigusa from Little Busters! (CV: Keiko Suzuki) (Age 16-17):
"You know, if you'd asked, I could have dressed up differently and wore my hair in different styles." Haruka piled on. "You didn't actually have to marry 101 girls to get these various looks."
Kudryavka Noumi/Strugatskaya from Little Busters! (CV: Naomi Wakabayashi) (Age 15-16):
"Wafu, I fell in love with Christopher at first sight!" Kudryavka came to Christopher's defense.
Azusa Nakano from K-On! (CV: Ayana Taketatsu) (Age 15-17):
"Has anyone else realized what this means?" Azusa asked in breathless amazement. "Out of every possible system, every possible future, Christopher chose the best one, for all of us. This really is paradise, so much so that God came to our heaven instead of us to Hers. And he was the only one with the wisdom to create it. Haven't we been underestimating him?"
Yui Hirasawa from K-On! (CV: Aki Toyosaki) (Age 15-18):
"There comes a point where you wonder if hearing Schala's theme for the 3,001st time really has any use." Yui continued.
Kagome Higurashi from Inuyasha (CV: Satsuki Yukino) (Age 15-18):
"OSUWARI!" Kagome shouted.
Aoba Suzukaze from New Game (CV: Yuki Takada) (Age 18-20):
"But really, couldn't we have at least talked first? Couldn't you have asked me in the midst of candles and roses or something? What is that -- incidentally, let's have sex. . ." Aoba started muttering.
Teletha Testarossa from Full Metal Panic! (CV: Yukana Nogami) (Age 16):
"That's why, when Chiwa was circulating that silly petition, I couldn't sign it. I can't ask anything more of you, not when you already granted my dearest wish. . .I haven't been abandoned. You're here with me today, and tomorrow, and next year, and every year. Just like I dreamed. That's all I ever wanted. Juubun." Tessa continued opening her heart up to me via the power of extreme drunkenness with her eyes closed.
Kaname Chidori from Full Metal Panic! (CV: Satsuki Yukino) (Age 16):
"The Mayor has spoken." Kaname saluted me. "I shall now overturn all common sense."
Mira Yurizaki from Dimension W (CV: Reina Ueda) (Age 2):
"Dimension W depletion destroys the world. And every time I leave my body I may not come back. But it would take a lot more usage of Dimension W to deplete it, and my life is well worth this invention. Virtual reality is more important than me. Plus, as you can see, I did it perfectly and came back fine." Mira flexed her arm in a sign of full strength. "I'm not just the tonkatsu you always say I am. In a pinch I can come through."
Rose from Tales of Zestiria (CV: Mikako Komatsu) (Age 17):
"It's the same in principle, but I don't think it always has to be to that degree. All we really want from men is that they be our rocks. They should keep us grounded, anchor us down, stand firm against outside pressure, withstand emotional stresses and carry our weight when we're feeling overwhelmed. In Zestiria I appreciated your strength, but before then, independent to that, you were already what I wanted in a man. A guy who dealt with others freely and fairly, not worried about looking good to others, confident in himself and in his ability to navigate and enjoy life. You never met a challenge you weren't willing to take head on, you never shirked a responsibility once it had fallen to you, you were centered. You were zen. And I know only the brainwashing makes me respect that in you, but that's how my heart feels. Your strength started from the core and only at the end did it reach the dragon slaying tip. Your soul was strong enough to be the chosen one granted the strength of the spirits to fulfill the ancient prophecies. We aren't stupid. We aren't blind. Even if there aren't any dragons or demons around, if you show that strength of spirit to us we'll always, 100% swoon. Just like I did for you then -- and just like I do for you now. The man who can post his very own Ten Commandments and promise to throw anyone off a cliff who doesn't like it -- even his own wives or children -- that's a rock I can tie myself to and never worry if my footing will crumble. I feel safe with you, I feel safe trusting the things important to me to you, and most of all I feel stronger at your side. And again, it isn't the strength to slay a dragon we women need. We mostly have that and we don't need it here. We need the strength to master ourselves, our flightiness, our constantly flickering emotions, our contradictory desires pulling us every which way -- we are like water. Without men to guide our course, we just gush everywhere and spread out into a formless ooze. We need you to stand firm, stand tall, and stand for what is right. All men, ideally, are women's shepherds." Rose finished.
Elize Lutus from Tales of Xillia (CV: Yuki Horinaka) (Age 12-13):
"Then, okay. But be gentle, Chris. And if it starts growing, if it starts growing right in the middle, pull it out immediately. Don't wait until you cum. Just pull it out okay?" Elize ordered.
Leia Rolando from Tales of Xillia (CV: Saori Hayami) (Age 15-16):
"I'm telling you these things for your own good." Leia planted a staff onto the floor. "If it's a wild beast, I'll go hunt it down. And if it was a wild wife, I'll hunt her down too. And if you became a wolf and tried to gobble her up and this was just the natural result then I'll hunt you down right here!"
Sophie from Tales of Graces (CV: Kana Hanazawa) (Age 13):
"You have nothing to fear. As a robot who would do back flips for you on command while you were still just a toddler, betrayal isn't a possibility." Sophie kissed me reassuringly.
Cheria Barnes from Tales of Graces (CV: Shiho Kawaragi) (Age 18):
"You really enjoy seeing me wet, don't you?" Cheria glared at me with suspiciously slitted yellow eyes, hands on her hips.
Rydia from Final Fantasy 4 (CV: Noriko Shitaya) (Age 17):
"You're doing fine. Don't mind me." Rydia looked back over the sea and listened to the crash of her serpent's absolute power. "About three fourths of us can kill you with just a look, so if we really held it against you, bringing us all into this world and giving us a place to exist, a table and clothes and laughter and song and brightness and good cheer, you would know."
Rosa Joanna Farrell from Final Fantasy 4 (CV: Yuuko Kaida) (Age 19):
"Rosa was my destined partner from the beginning. Blonde haired and blue-eyed, with a perfect figure, she's the physical ideal. Always supporting me like a proper wife and following my lead into exile from her homeland, kissing me any excuse she got, and ultimately marrying me before we even got here, she's the romantic ideal. Willful and courageous, stoically withstanding lethal diseases and frightful kidnappings, all while tenderly caring for those around her, she's the moral ideal. Defeating enemies left and right via her crafty selection of the perfect arrow for the job while also being the most skilled white mage in the world, she's the mental ideal. If Rosa doesn't qualify as a lover, who would?" I gushed.
Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy 7 (CV: Ayumi Ito) (Age 20):
"You're right. You're pretty tough! How about we give it a go? I've taken down a God before with the help of two others, so a demigod is probably the perfect rival!" Tifa started punching the air back and forth excitedly.
Aerith Gainsborough from Final Fantasy 7 (CV: Maaya Sakamoto) (Age 22):
"I do too. Tifa's here with me. And all the others make the world so much more lively. I greet everyone as they come in to the tavern and wave them goodbye when they leave, and I get to see their happy faces every day. They always have a kind word for me. It's better with 100. You may have 100 sexual partners, but the rest of us have 100 friends." Aerith agreed.
Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy 8 (CV: Kana Hanazawa) (Age 17):
"As for Rinoa, I fell for her in two parts. First when she took me out to the dance floor, the epitome of grace and good cheer. Second when she floated into my lap during reentry, the epitome of fawning dependency. She showed me so many faces, but most of all she put her faith in me from start to finish. I'd go to the ends of the Earth, in fact I went beyond the ends of the Earth, to answer those expectations." I explained.
Yuna from Final Fantasy 10 (CV: Mayuko Aoki) (Age 17-19):
"I waited three years for him to rise from the dead wearing all sorts of scandalous costumes." Yuna grabbed my other arm.
MOMO Mizrahi from Xenosaga (CV: Rumi Shishido) (Age 12):
"What would we want that for? Its only purpose would be to assassinate the Mayor, i.e., you, which as your widow I am definitely hantai." MOMO said.
Aruruu from Utawarerumono (CV: Miyuki Sawashiro) (Age 9-27):
Aruruu tilted her head and looked at me quizzically. Apparently she had never once in her life thought how to please her older sister. Even if she had, she'd never manage to speak in enough words to explain it to me. I should have known better than to ask her. These two!
Eruruu from Utawarerumono (CV: Ryoka Yuzuki) (Age 17-35):
"I figure that if you love me, you'll come to me." Eruruu remorselessly replied.
Nekone from Utawarerumono (CV: Inori Minase) (Age 12-13):
"Mattaku-desu." Nekone agreed tartly. "Anii-sama asked me to support you as his dying wish, but isn't it a little unfair to rope me in for eternity?"
Kuon from Utawarerumono (CV: Risa Taneda) (Age 16-17):
"Whenever I wish for things, God punishes me by granting some twisted mockery of the wish to hurt me with, so why do you always get exactly what you want?" Kuon frowned bitterly.
Nayuki Minase from Kanon (CV: Mariko Koda) (Age 17):
"Wait, dates are on the line?" Nayuki panicked. "Look, Christopher, big wet breasts!" She held them up and pushed them together in a proud display to the video camera, which was indeed tempted into turning like a dog to a frisbee.
Nagisa Furukawa from Clannad (CV: Mai Nakahara) (Age 19-21):
"I properly contributed an X chromosome." Nagisa said tiredly, leaning back into her pillow.
Misuzu Kamio from Air (CV: Tomoko Kawakami) (Age 16-17):
"Nope, I've been waiting to try these out!" Misuzu flexed her birdmaiden pure-white wings happily. "I never thought the day would come, but this time it looks like the curse is totally lifted."
Kotori Kanbe from Rewrite (CV: Chiwa Saito) (Age 16-17):
"I don't have any special skills so please let me off with this." Kotori asked as she knelt down to suck my dick, carefully holding her long hair behind her ear.
Wendy Marvel from Fairy Tail (CV: Satomi Sato) (Age 12-14):
"You're mistaken about one more thing, Christopher." Wendy patiently sighed and held firm our staring contest. "You've been just as nice as me, from the very beginning. From the year you gave us our personal space, to the honoring of our wishes when we said we were tired of that. To apologizing to Cure Flora for bleeding in front of her. To how gently you guided us through our first times. To the endless endurance it must have taken to get us all pregnant in a couple years. To the amount of care you put into arranging the hospital so that none of us would die. To the number of children you keep gifting us with every ten years so we'll never be alone. To every time you've cuddled us asleep at night, to every time you convinced a waifu not to stay left behind and join the ever growing circle of life, to every lesson you gave at school, to every law you passed in order to protect us, to how you burst in to tears just thinking about how much you loved us and couldn't thank us enough, you've been nice from the very beginning. And this is only my guess, but I bet you were nice to everyone on Earth too. Even though you hated the whole world and everyone in it. Even though you were just a virgin who couldn't drive. Were you taking it out on anyone? Were you perhaps kicking a puppy every night like a proper fascist?"
I laughed and shook my head.
"No, no doubt, it was you that was getting kicked every night, just for believing the truth. Just for knowing where Earth was headed, which we now know exactly where. Just for knowing a little bit sooner than anyone else, and wanting to save the world -- saving the world qualifies as mean now?! Who says a fascist can't be nice?" Wendy let a little anger animate her voice. "If anyone says Christopher isn't the nicest boy in the world, I'll deck them."
Sherria Blendy from Fairy Tail (CV: Yuka Iguchi) (Age 15-17):
"No, I mean, you're a God and I'm a God Slayer, so I was worried if we touched you might dissolve or something. . ." Sherria blushed nervously.
Lucy Heartfilia from Fairy Tail (CV: Aya Hirano) (Age 17-19):
"Star dress: Leo Form!" Lucy called out dramatically as I watched appreciatively from the couch. The first treat was a black evening gown type. "Virgo Form!" Now she was a French miniskirt maid with white thigh high stockings. "Taurus Form!" A bikini cowgirl with one-sleeved pants emerged. "Sagittarius Form!" A sexy wood elf archer outfit came next. "Aries Form!" Fluffy garments suitable for underwear blessed me next. "Gemini Form!" A circus clown. "Scorpio Form!" Something like motorcycle riding gear, skin tight with a v-back exposure followed. "Cancer Form!" A beautiful wide sleeved Chinese martial arts style dress appeared. "Capricorn Form!" A dominatrix? "Aquarius Form!" A beautiful bikini pareo combo suited to a water spirit made the perfect finale.
Mavis Vermillion from Fairy Tail (CV: Mamiko Noto) (Age 13):
"Perfect memory to go along with eternal life." Mavis Vermillion summarized. "I've always been immortal, but most of my life was a struggle to forget as much as I could. I don't think you were any better, husband, in the centuries you lived your mind only became more and more erratic. To the point that I had to kill you myself. It really would be better if history didn't repeat itself."
Levy McGarden from Fairy Tail (CV: Mariya Ise) (Age 17-19):
“We’ve both struggled with our competition, we’ve both felt insecure, and we’ve both tried twice as hard just to keep up with our friends and enemies. It’s our mutual secret that we don’t really belong here, but because we forgive each other our shortcomings, we do have one last place to belong – together.” Levy placed her dainty hand over mine and gave me a confidential smile.
Juvia Locksor from Fairy Tail (CV: Mai Nakahara) (Age 17-19):
"Not at all. Christopher-sama has always ignored me, neglected me, and avoided me. Compared to the times you nearly killed me in battle, tossed my hand-woven scarf onto the ground and abandoned me to join an evil cult, this is nothing!" Juvia said with hearts in her eyes.
Lisanna Strauss from Fairy Tail (CV: Harumi Sakurai) (Age 17-19):
"Flattery will get you nowhere. I'm already head over heels for you. I'm already eternally grateful to you. I'll already do anything for you. The gap between what I thought my future had in store -- death on some distant battlefield a forgotten childless virgin -- and what you gave me here instead, is the widest gap in the universe. For that, I'm yours forever." Lisanna swore.
Mirajane Strauss from Fairy Tail (CV: Ryoko Ono) (Age 19-21):
"I want to thank you for something else. Thank you for Lucy," Mirajane kissed me on the lips. "For Wendy," Mirajane kissed me again, "For Levy," Mirajane kissed me again, "For Juvia," Mirajane kissed me again, "For Mavis," Mirajane kissed me again, "And even I guess for Sherria," Mirajane kissed me again. "I always felt like our guild's mother, so it's nice to have so many Fairy Tail mages together. It's a home away from home, just with a lot less violence. You must have loved us very much, to take up so many valuable harem slots all together."
Makina Irisu from Grisaia (CV: Tomoe Tamiyasu) (Age 15):
"Besides, Makina already cries out "Oh, papa, papa, there, there there," in bed so I get all the daughter play I could ever need."
Nanoha Takamachi from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha (CV: Yukari Tamura) (Age 9-25):
"No. There were plenty of great guys around me. Why would none of them appeal to me in the least? The same for girls -- why didn't I at least try and confess my feelings to Fate, or Hayate, or Arisa or anyone? If I really did love them like that, with all the courage I showed, all those death defying battles, was I really too cowardly to try to find love in my life? I don't buy it. Nanoha Takamachi is asexual. She wasn't waiting for the right guy or gal. She just wanted none of it. She wanted nothing to do with it. Modified Nanoha Takamachi, the girl Cute-sama gifted you with, is heterosexual. Cute-sama made sure we could be lovers when she created me out of thin air. She wasn't obligated to transpose my every characteristic exactly if it would've made fulfilling her promise to you impossible, I never existed in the first place so she didn't change my free will by making me this way, so she made me as similar to the fun loving, sociable, motherly, brave warrior as she could and edited the rest -- I might add for the better. As someone who let love, marriage, and children other than Vivio pass her all by, now that I see what I could have possessed if I'd only reached out my hand, I could kick myself."
Fate Testarossa from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha (CV: Nana Mizuki) (Age 9-25):
"I think at the moment in my childhood I associated 'being loved' with 'getting brutally whipped to the point of near death on a regular basis,' I turned off that entire section of my emotions. I found it hard to connect to anyone after that, and even when I did, I would always keep them at arms' length. My missions took me afield and afar from everyone I knew, I barely interacted with my own two adopted children. I felt safer alone and unloved. Sex is the ultimate act of vulnerability, and I never wanted to feel that way again. Lesbian, bi, straight, it doesn't matter, I wasn't ready to feel vulnerable around anyone." Fate confessed.
Sakura Haruno from Naruto (CV: Chie Nakamura) (Age 12-36):
"Even as one in a hundred, I'm pretty sure I'm receiving 100 times as much attention from you as I'm used to." Sakura Haruno smiled, and then a blush of true happiness at the realization traveled up her entire face. "I don't even remember if we've ever been on a date before."
Rin Nohara from Naruto (CV: Haruhi Nanao) (Age 9-11):
"My life really was rotten, you know? Of all the luck, not only did the boy I confess to reject me, then you went and stabbed me through the heart! Is that really called for?" Rin Nohara pouted with both her cheeks puffed out.
Chtolly Nota Seniorious from Suka Suka (CV: Azusa Tadokoro) (Age 15):
"You always worried too much." Chtolly gave me a look of infinite tenderness. "But it's okay. I'm right here. I'll always be here for you. Until the end of time."
Sagiri Izumi from Eromanga Sensei (CV: Akane Fujita) (Age 13):
"Matasetene. Nii-san, mou ii-yo." Sagiri took my hands and guided them up her body until they were cupped around each of her breasts over her pajamas. She turned her head to look up at me and I lowered mine to kiss her on the lips.
"Nii-san, daisuki." Sagiri whispered as we melted into one.
Elf Yamada (Emily Granger) from Eromanga Sensei (CV: Minami Takahashi) (Age 14):
My date with Emily was in the underutilized music room of the mansion, where she had promised to wow me with her overwhelming piano skills. Opening the door, I was overwhelmed for a different reason and promptly closed it again.
"No, wait, I wasn't trying to seduce you, I always play this way!" Elf wailed in anguish through the door. "Are you saying the date's over already?!"
Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War (CV: Yumi Touma) (Age 175):
Deedlit smiled to herself, and then shook her head, dispelling ancient memories. "Christopher, you could not be more like Parn if you tried. To me this is exactly what I expected from you. How many times did I try to catch your attention, to attract your eye, as you chased after everything else under the sun? Dragons, sword instructors, knighthood, princesses, sages, sorcerers, even goblins. The one thing you never looked at or paid any attention to was me. And that's the Christopher I fell in love with and would do anything for."
Kobato Hasegawa from Haganai (CV: Kana Hanazawa) (Age 13-14):
"Ungyaaah!" Kobato suddenly shouted, her face turning towards the sky. "An-chan! An-chan wo mou!" She accentuated her anger by stomping on the floor. "An-chan wa nande sugu imouto bakari tsukuru baka dare?!"
Sora Takanashi from PapaKiki (CV: Sumire Uesaka) (Age 14):
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are." Sora's choir-trained voice sang the song most precious to us in the entire world.
Miu Takanashi from PapaKiki (CV: Eri Kitamura) (Age 10):
"Oji-san, I'll let you hold Sora and me on one knee a piece if you look our way." Miu teased.
Sakura Kinomoto from Card Captor Sakura (CV: Sakura Tange) (Age 10-13):
"I feel like I could spend my whole life trying to repay you for all you've done for me and never do enough, so keep relying on me as much as you want." Sakura smiled and held me back, though her blush was deepening by the second.
Lafiel Abriel from Crest of the Stars (CV: Ayako Kawasumi) (Age 15-26):
"I have a long lifespan, and I've already been through several long distance relationships with you so I've learned patience. I've been grounded on this planet for 80 years even though my natural home is up in the stars, piloting a spaceship, but I figure there's important things to do here as well, like cultivating the planet to support an advanced civilization. Originally I was always supposed to terraform a barren planet into a proud member of the Abh empire, so now's as good a time to fulfill that duty as any." Lafiel explained her equanimity.
Myusel Foaran from Outbreak Company (CV: Suzuko Mimori) (Age 16):
When we woke up and had freshened up in the middle of the night, Myusel had already set out meals for both of us waiting on the table with little messages on flags, "Goshujin-sama, I request similar service," was on my flag. On hers was "Thank you for lightening our load, from everyone." Kaname giggled at the message meant for me and smiled at the message meant for her.
Sara Rukawa/Chrysalis from Da Capo (CV: Chiyo Ousaki) (Age 14):
"Cute-sama is always monitoring our thoughts, and we're all here, not Opium Den or Thugville. Nor Sheol nor Anarchy Park. Not even The People's Republic or Modernity." Sara stood up and met the eyes of her fellow wives. "We all know Christopher is right. We can't give the galaxy over to people who will turn it into another tragedy like Earth's writ large. I for one would like to become Galactic Empress and stand at his side as we rule over all space and time. I was born into a distinguished family. This is my chance to show my caliber, to preserve that heritage and history of success. I want my children to be born into a distinguished family too. We can't be the failed experiment in this game of Civilization. We can't let the people who hate us overtake us. There's no future for us short of victory. Let space ring with the name of Chrysalis!"
Nemu Asakura from Da Capo (CV: Sakura Nogawa) (Age 14):
"Maybe if it's once or twice, but Nii-san!" Nemu angrily brought her eyes up to my level, the bell on her neck ringing from the sudden jerk. "When it's every single time! When there's nothing kind inbetween!"
"I guess sex doesn't count." I proffered hopefully.
"Isn't that me showing my love for you? A beautiful girl like me, letting you do whatever you please with me, of course any boy would jump for it. Do you take me for a fool?" Nemu asked angrily.
Yume Asakura from Da Capo (CV: Hijiri Kinomi) (Age 14):
"Cute-sama was instructed to put people plotting violation of the Ten Commandments into cold sleep only after a full year of continuous mental rebellion. They only came to this decision in the past month, so her hands are tied. Besides, she's a strict non-interventionist when it comes to mankind's sins." Yume sighed bitterly. Due to Cute's fastidiousness, Yume's prophetic dreams were Nii-sama's first and only line of defense. Her lover had already died on her once, until the power of her love had overcome the laws of magic and forced reality to give him back to her. She would be damned if some pissant kids took him away from her again. Christopher was back from the dead, back from even being erased from all memory of ever existing, so that they could be together again. She would never, ever let him go.
Himeno Katsuragi from Da Capo (CV: Mikoi Sasaki) (Age 14):
"Aren't you the least interested in sex with me?" Himeno Katsuragi asked at breakfast in front of a huge crowd. "Before we were doing it like bunnies!" She complained.
Sakura Yoshino from Da Capo (CV: Hitomi) (Age 14):
"Ahh, Onii-chan, did you just call us things?" Sakura's left cheek went out in a cute pout.
Aisia from Da Capo (CV: Ui Miyazaki) (Age 14):
"The same for you, Master. If you're ever feeling down, come see me and I'll use my magic to cheer you up again. I'm a mage just like Sakura Yoshino, so I've been trained in how to keep the right state of mind to match my immortality. I'll never tire and never fade. I'll stick with you to the very end." Aisia puffed out her chest reassuringly.
Koko Tsukishima from Da Capo (CV: Nanjou Yoshino) (Age 14):
"But I'm sure there are many more deserving wives than me. . ." Koko fretted.
Yukino Ouhama from Osananajimi wa Daitouryou (CV: Nanjou Yoshino) (Age 16):
"Should I restrict entertainment from Earth to only the things that don't mention any of you? To avoid paradoxes or people having mental breakdowns because they aren't 'real' or something. . ." I asked for her advice.
"No way! And lose out on all the best stories mankind made, the ones good enough to sway your heart? Do you really intend to monopolize all our back stories? None of us are so weak that we would break down over having an official biography. Do nonfiction people spontaneously explode in paradoxes when historians mention their deeds?" Yukino asked pointedly.
Sayaka Mayuzumi from Majikoi (CV: Yuka Inokuchi) (Age 14):
"Just once, just with me!" Sayaka batted her eyes and bit her lower lip.
"Will the law enforcement escort the anal fanatic from the room?" I finally ordered.
"The night you've always dreamed of. Once in a 1,000 years. You know you want to, Chris, Chris, I'll be waiting, we'll keep it secret, when it's my turn--" Sayaka kept shouting all the way until she was out the door.
Isara Aomi from Koichoco (CV: Mai Kadowaki) (Age 15):
"Even if we have clothes, we still don't have changes of sheets, pillow cases and blankets. There are no towels in the bathrooms, and we live near the beach but no one has a swimsuit." Isara detailed.
Yoru Kazato from Kono Oozora ni, Tsubasa wo Hirogete (CV: Hatsumi Takada) (Age 15):
"Don't cry you fool. This is the road you chose, so follow it to the end. We're in this together for the next 1,000 years. Don't wimp out on me now." Yoru hissed.
Asa Kazato from Kono Oozora ni, Tsubasa wo Hirogete (CV: Ai Fukada) (Age 15):
"I'm here, with you, and I'm throwing everything in my heart at you." Asa said from the front of the cockpit. "This is already everything I can give you. This sky, my ability to read the atmosphere and explain it to you, our twincest at night, and looking as beautiful as I can for you during the day, in case you even happen to see me. You have my womb and as many children as you want from me too. But Christopher, we're only receiving 1/100th of what you've got. 1/100th of your heart, if we're lucky, if we aren't being ignored, if we aren't one of the losers of the competition. Maybe, if we're unlucky, it's only 1/1,000th of your heart, or 1/10,000th. If we don't make an impression on you, who knows how low it could go? And do you really think, after hearing this, that we aren't in a desperate, life and death, competition, every single day?"
Sae Nakata from Amagami SS (CV: Hiromi Konno) (Age 16-17):
"Because God wore my personally tailored wedding dress in front of everyone in Paradise, with her inner light shining through the filmy white, now every girl in the world wants to look like that on their wedding day, so the orders for Sae Nakata brand dresses never stop." Sae looked embarrassed at her own success.
Reina Ryuugu from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (CV: Mai Nakahara) (Age 15):
"If what you say is true, if the Record card proves your prophecy. . .death isn't good enough for these ingrates. Who the hell are they? Great-grandchildren? Great-great-grandchildren? I don't even know their faces and they dare to kill the best man who's ever lived? The last hope of mankind? I'll dissect them myself." Reina swore.
Sailor Moon (Usagi Tsukino) from Sailor Moon (CV: Kotono Mitsuishi) (Age 14-21):
"Fine. I'll give you the greatest dressup show you've ever seen. After you've seen me from 702 different angles, you won't even need any other wives. I'll fulfill all your wildest dreams with my beauty alone, so watch carefully. I'm only doing this once, okay!" Sailor Moon pouted like a perfect tsundere.
Shana from Shakugan no Shana (CV: Rie Kugimiya) (Age 13):
"I'll wear it when I feel like." Shana stood on her tiptoes and kissed me again, just as long as the first time. Then she dropped back down flat on her feet like a gymnast's landing in a perfectly coordinated thump. "I feel stupid, letting a baby get to me. Just you wait, Christopher, once I'm done raising Yuji he'll be the best mannered kid in the village. And I'll tell him, 'that's your father, the Mayor. He was chosen by God to rule the world, and he chose me to be his wife.'"
Mikan Yuuki from To Love ru (CV: Kana Hanazawa) (Age 11-12):
"We were destined to be together. Looking at it objectively, our relationship was always the best, out of every girl I knew. It was always you." I reaffirmed my love.
"We really were, weren't we?" Mikan squirmed happily against me, placing her hands over mine which were over her nipples approvingly. "We lived together before the crazies arrived, while they stayed, and now after they're all gone. We've always lived together since the day I was born. I don't know any life outside of life with you. I don't want to know any life outside of life with you. I just want to love you forever and ever. Now that Nii-san is finally being sunao with his feelings for me, I can be sunao with my feelings for you. I was your imouto, but I wanted you inside of me. I want you inside of me now. And I'll always want you inside of me, even a thousand years from now. I'm yours forever."
Yuuhi Katagiri from Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka (CV: Rie Kugimiya) (Age 16):
"Just come over and sit with me then." Yuuhi begged. "You never look my way. It's always 'I love you I love you' and then 'go to your room, I'm busy.'"
Kobeni Yonomori from Mikakunin de Shinkoukei (CV: Haruka Terui) (Age 16):
"I'm tired of my lover having near death experiences. . ." Kobeni replied helplessly. "I just want a quiet life where the only important decision is what to cook for dinner today."
Illyasviel von Einzbern from Fate/Etc. (CV: Mai Kadowaki) (Age 10-11):
"Homunculus bodies rock!" Illya clenched her fists victoriously. "Before I knew it, I'd already adjusted to you. Your cock's trained my pussy into its ideal shape, Onii-chan."
Rin Tohsaka from Fate/Etc. (CV: Kana Ueda) (Age 19):
"Well, luckily the point of the Holy Grail War was for a quality mage like me to reach the root of the Akashic Records and come to understand all things. And Illyasviel, the real live grail, is just a few blocks away. So if you let me do the ritual and turn Illya into a vessel, I could probably fill you in from there." Rin looked at me hopefully.
Orihime Inoue from Bleach (CV: Yuki Matsuoka) (Age 15-17):
"So are all the dates with the other girls in the nude?" Orihime started worrying that she had overdressed.
"No, that's most definitely an Elf only exception." I almost wanted to say otherwise.
"Because as your wife you know all you have to do is ask. . ." Orihime lowered her voice to a whisper due to being in public.
Nico Yazawa from Love Live! (CV: Sora Tokui) (Age 17):
"I know. You're saying even Wendy can't encompass all that is good in this world, and that's where people like me fill in the gaps. She's overly honest and obedient and kind, and I'm overly dishonest and disobedient and manipulative. So Wendy and I will never overlap. You can love each of us for completely different reasons." Nico said.
Chiwa Harusaki from Oreshura (CV: Chinatsu Akasaki) (Age 15):
"I want to go on romantic dates with Christopher too. I want him to be interested in my life, what I'm thinking about, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling -- and I want to know all those things about him too! Isn't it the same for all of you?" Chiwa raised her fist passionately.
Sakura Mamiya from Kyoukai no Rinne (CV: Marina Inoue) (Age 15):
"I love you Christopher." And then she lifted my chin off the desk with her fingers and kissed me on the lips. "I'm sorry my tone of voice doesn't convey anything. But surely our nights together can give you some clues." Sakura Mamiya gave me a troubled look.
Mumei (Hozumi) from Koutetsujou no Kabaneri (CV: Sayaka Senbongi) (Age 12):
"Are you trying to create friction between your waifus?" Mumei glared death at me.
Mylene Flare Jenius from Macross 7 (CV: Tomo Sakurai) (Age 14-15):
Mylene stuck out her tongue and said, "The Basara I know was more of a free spirit."
Lyria from Granblue Fantasy the Animation (CV: Nao Toyama) (Age 16):
"I thought it might be copyright infringement, since someone had already summoned Bahamut. . ." Lyria looked sideways and put her two index fingers together in an unstable shifting triangle.
Kokona Aoba from Yama no Susume (CV: Yui Ogura) (Age 13-15):
"You know, Christopher. A lot of girls back home like you. And that's always attractive in a man. We get to thinking that 99 wives can't all be wrong. Plus you're a natural born leader. You tell us what to do and always expect we'll snap up and do it. It's good to feel like we can trust everything to you and things will work out. I'm very thankful to you for interceding with Cute-sama and giving us the spark of existence. And together, we've made Eden a really good place to live. So why exactly are you trying to seduce me by announcing, out of the blue, that you're a racist and you could make me racist too, if I just stick around you long enough?" Kokona asked exasperatedly.
Menma (Meiko Honma) from Anohana (CV: Ai Kayano) (Age 15):
"I should thank the hospital crew again for saving me. They let my childhood dream come true. I said I loved you in the 'I want to marry you' way, but then I just floated off to heaven. Here on Eden though, I got to marry you after all. And now we even have seven children." Menma turned over to stare into my face with a smile of blissed fulfillment.
Ai Hinatsuru from Ryuuou no Oshigoto! (CV: Rina Hidaka) (Age 9-11):
"Even if you don't know shogi, Shishou can still train Ai in various things!" Ai beamed innocently at the camera.
Nadeko Sengoku from Bakemonogatari (CV: Kana Hanazawa) (Age 13-15):
Nadeko smiled happily to hear acceptance from the lips that had rejected her so many times. "I have no reason to become an evil deity here, in this world you answered my pleas, except that you enjoy all my different forms, so I do like to flirt with you as the full variety. With my drawing talent I could even flirt with you as all the Nadeko's at once, though they might be a little one dimensional -- or should I say two dimensional -- though of course they are three dimensional."
Kirino Kousaka from Oreimo (CV: Ayana Taketatsu) (Age 14):
Kirino's only reply was to sob into the carpet, still not lifting her head. "I know I blew it. I blew it. We had the greatest love ever and I blew it. I chickened out. No one could have stopped us. It isn't illegal for siblings to live together or have sex together. It doesn't matter in the least whether there was an official piece of paper declaring us married or not. My royalties were already enough to support us for life even if, somehow, the secret got out and we were blackballed by employers. There was absolutely nothing in our way. All I had to do was take your outstretched hand and we could have lived happily ever after. I know. I knew it then too. But when I thought of Father's angry face, at the idea of him shouting at us for being degenerates, of him banishing us from his world, I panicked. I panicked, and I betrayed you. I betrayed us. I betrayed my own heart and I ran away. Even though you gave up everyone else in your life for me, I couldn't stand up to one old man shouting and threw it all away. I threw your heart away and I'm so very sorry. Please, please, forgive me. I'll never betray you again. So love me like you used to, won't you? Give me another chance. I'll be your incomprehensibly cute little sister, and we both know little sisters are already the cutest possible, so I'll. . .I'll even be cuter than Cute-sama. . .just give me one more chance."
Mikoto Misaka from Index/Railgun (CV: Rina Satou) (Age 14):
"I wouldn't normally do this, you know!" Mikoto tossed her head, trying to deny this personal reality. "You only earned this sight by saving the world fifty times or so, being hospitalized thirty times and saving my life once or twice! After this we're even!"
Louise Francoise Le Blanc de la Valliere from Zero no Tsukaima (CV: Rie Kugimiya) (Age 16-17):
"At first I thought my rival was Henrietta, then you cheated on me with Tiffania, but now it's ONE HUNDRED GIRLS." Louise brandished her whip and started hitting me. "ONE HUNDRED! NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, ONE HUNDRED TIMES! JUST HOW FAR DO YOU INTEND TO HUMILIATE ME?"
Wakaba Tsukishima/Akane Takigawa from Cross Game (CV: Akemi Kanda) (Age 11-17):
Akane put a hand on my arm and kissed my cheek as I tried to pass by. "Arigatou. For bringing Wakaba back to life, for bringing me into existence, and for bringing Kou and all three of my sisters back to my side as the four best children in the world. I don't know about all these spacefarers wanting to flee the system, but you've given me paradise. The four leaf clover represents happiness and good fortune. And Christopher. . ." Akane let out a little sob as her emotions overwhelmed her, "you are my four leaf clover."
Iris Freyja from Juuou Mujin no Fafnir (CV: Rina Hidaka) (Age 16):
"Peeping on me nude at the beach, and now in the hot spring, somehow, this is really nostalgic." Iris blushed, swaying shyly back and forth in front of the camera.
"Ah, Iris! Iris!" I exclaimed, not knowing how to express my feelings any better, my video camera tracing up and down her luscious fully exposed body.
"Remember I'm an otaku too, so date night with me is always as simple and easy as turning on the tv!" Iris used her appeal time in front of the camera to devastating effect, holding up her index finger and smiling brightly.
Mitsuki Mononobe from Juuou Mujin no Fafnir (CV: Manami Numakura) (Age 16):
Mitsuki gave a commanding clap, seeing where this was going. "Alright everyone, line up, pose, and give a personalized message. The sooner this is done the sooner we can go to sleep."
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