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Thursday, February 23, 2017

Mai Ten Waifus:

After reading so many visual novels, an obvious question becomes prominent to any man:  Who should be 'mai waifu'?

Well, just one fantasy wife seems a little paltry, especially in the world of visual novels where harems are regular occurrences, so a better question is what would my ideal family environment be like?  I think it would include ten of my favorite conquests across the various series, all living together under the same roof, because I feel like ten is around the upper limit to where you can interact with everyone daily and not lose track of people or limit their ability to speak/see/be around you.  If you keep adding in more wives, it'll only detract from the time you want to spend with your favorites, so there's a diminishing marginal return to having more and more women in the home.

All the remaining conquests I've accumulated over playing many games can just be mistresses I visit for the sake of sexual novelty/emotion-free fun once in a blue moon.  But these ten wives I'd like to keep around me all the time, because they're just so homey and pleasant to be around.  All ten are equal, there's no rankings between them, I'll love them all equally, and all their kids too!

Nemu, Yume, Himeno and Sakura from Da Capo.

Koharu from Imouto Paradise.

Yukino from Osananajimi wa Daitouryou.

Sayaka from Majikoi.

Isara from Koichoco.

Yoru and Asa from Kono Oozora ni, Tsubasa wo Hirogete.

Variety is the spice of life, so all types of girls are represented here.  Sakura is blonde, Sayaka has black hair, Isara has gray hair, Yukino has orange hair, while the remainder have normal, pleasant shades of brown.  Yukino probably has the biggest breasts, but they're still medium, like most of the girls here.  Sakura, Koharu, Yoru and Asa are on the smaller side.  Big breasts can be pretty, but it's an uphill climb and it's just not enough to get into a top ten list.

Koharu likes sports and the outdoors, while Yukino is an avid otaku.  Isara will be great for housework, Asa for brightening up the mood and Yoru for intellectual conversations.  Sakura's innocence, sense of humor, charm and devotion can't be matched, while the more realistic and prickly girls like Yume and Himeno will add spice and keep me on my toes.  No one likes a one dimensional rut of a relationship, and these girls' tsun-tsun moments will be welcome in the face of so much overwhelming love coming from ten different directions all the time.

Sayaka is as perverted as me so I can safely bare that side of my persona around her and always at least rely on her at night.  With this, all my bases are covered!  It's amazing what ten women can do where one could never manage.

Disclaimer:  I avoided any dalliances with heroines from key novels because they're all so tragic, and I'd like a normal cheerful easygoing life without any drama.  The same can be said of any of the girls from Grisaia.  Da Capo fills such a large portion of the whole because if you love any one of the Nemu/Yume/Himeno girls you have to love them all, they're all so similar to each other, there's just no way you can possibly turn even one of them away without being a hypocrite, so you just have to accept them all with open arms.  (As it's impossible not to love Nemu, Yume, or Himeno, rejecting all three together is also absolutely out of the question.)

Disclaimer 2:  This is all just in good fun, I have not actually lost track of the barrier between games and reality.  It's just a what-if the world were as convenient as a dream come true thought experiment.

Disclaimer 3:  This list is comprised of only girls I've fairly conquered in visual novel playthroughs, if it included characters from anime/manga/light novels, it would look very different, but those girls don't belong to me in the first place so the list wouldn't even make sense.

Meanwhile, I've finished 2/3 of Majikoi A-1, just Benkei's route is left.  I've also nearly finished Tales of Berseria.  The game is wayyyyy too long, (already approaching 90 hours. . .)  but I admit it has a really good central story when the game makers actually deign to progress the plot.

The latest Naruto episode was really good.  Let's hope Bolt maintains this level of quality.  If so, I might have to bump Naruto back up again. . .

The next volume of Akame ga Kill! Zero comes out in English March 21st.  Circle the date and ready your wallets, folks, Akame isn't a series that can safely be missed/ignored.  Interestingly, Akame ga Kill! has sold 3.3 million copies around the world, while Akatsuki no Yona has sold 4 million.  Two of my favorite manga both seem to be in only the 'middling' level of success.  (One Piece, in contrast, has sold 400+ million volumes so far) Which implies that in a world of 7 billion plus people, only around one million have any good taste at all in art.  It just goes to show that the universe needs a population of trillions, if any decent nation of properly filtered otakus is going to emerge.

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