I had 215 pageviews today. I had 145 pageviews yesterday. But between all these views, even though I begged any one of those viewers to leave a positive comment for any one of my novels they may have liked, the only response was a single negative comment.
I can only conclude that I am universally disliked by every single reader of this blog. That I am completely and totally alone. That, even though I am writing in a public forum, this is essentially a diary, because I'm the only one who actually cares about anything I am saying.
I don't understand why so many people are viewing this blog every day if every single one of them dislikes me, but the reality of the situation cannot be made any clearer. I can't get even one word of approval, of affirmation, from anyone in the world.
I'm almost done re-reading 100 Waifus for the sixth time now, which proved useful because I caught a few more proofreading errors needing correction. It is most definitely my favorite book ever written, by anyone, and yet nothing. The pageviews for this book started at less than half what I received for my other books, and then it just dwindled from there. The latest, Part 6 of the book received a pitiful 9 pageviews in all. The book I've poured all my heart and soul into and love most in the world is universally reviled.
This blog is named 'The Road Less Traveled,' and boy is that apt. I've managed to become its sole and only traveler.
Perhaps all the pageviews are bots. Perhaps there aren't any actual readers, just weird phantom programs that click on this blog and then float away again, for strange inscrutable purposes. That would explain how I could receive so many views and none of them supportive. I don't know why bots would be viewing random blogs, but it makes more sense than the alternative -- that hundreds of people who hate me like to keep track of what I'm saying every day just to mock me in their heads as they go about the rest of their day. But if there were any real people, they would have had the decency to respond to my pleas. There would have been more pageviews of 100 Waifus Part 6 than 9.
Very well, so this is my diary, and I am this blog's only reader, the only person who approves of myself in the world. I'll keep writing anyway, because I love to write, and it's nice having a centralized place to consolidate my thinking and my data. I still have one reader, my future self, who can look back fondly on what I've said before. A future self is all I need.
For the weird bots who click on my blog for God knows what purpose, the haters who apparently read this to mock me in their heads as a sort of jolly sport, like bear-baiting, and the lazy readers who might actually support what I have to say but won't even bother to leave one comment saying so on any single novel even when I ask for the mildest of favors -- screw you. This diary can and will go on without you. And yes, 'In Another World With 100 Waifus' is the greatest book ever written, and I the greatest writer ever for having written it. There's no way I could have reread it six times in four months if that weren't the case. Objectively, it would simply be impossible to pretend to like something this much. You can't pretend to be interested in a story six times in a row. Only genuine satisfaction, only genuine compelling interest, could possibly produce a result like this.
So screw you and your 9 pageviews and 0 comments. I know my own worth. If nothing else, God will appreciate me.
4 comments:
Good job we believe in you
Nah, your okay. Just found your blog. I like what I see. If you want to talk about alone, I'm alone, have been for years and i really kind of like this way. No family, no real friends except when they need or want me to do something for them. My dogs are better friends than all the people I know!
Eire Rider
You know full well that you are not universally disliked. We've talked and we actually respect each other. Have you considered that people who like you are busy and can't read your blog every day?
It's kind of you all to say these things, but none of them address my actual point -- even now nobody has said one positive thing about any of my books, which represent more words, more effort, and more of my soul than all my political posts combined. Between twelve separate books you'd think one person would like one of them. I wanted to be recognized as an artist and a human being, not just as a pontificator. It was a small selfish desire that unfortunately could not come to fruition. Oh well.
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