The Unsalvageability of Star Wars:

I'm a huge fan of Star Wars. I must have watched the 4-6 movies thirty times a piece, and the 1-3 movies maybe ten times a piece. So when I heard that they were all six coming out on blu-ray for the first time with all sorts of extras, I immediately placed my order.

Having re-watched the series yet again, however, I couldn't believe how bad it was. Contrary to my childhood memories, the series sucks in almost every important way. Compared to basically any anime series in the top 100, its flaws are just enormous.

I will put in a few good words for Star Wars. The visuals are gorgeous (when it isn't corny CG effects that look horribly fake), the music is fantastic, and the acting is good. Harrison Ford as Han Solo was really fun and memorable. Natalie Portman was gorgeous as Padame, especially in the first two movies. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Emperor, Darth Vader (4-6 version) were all really good. Obi-wan 1-3, Qui-Gon Jin, and Anakin 2-3 were also okay. Especially Anakin in Revenge of the Sith when he got to just be an evil badass.

My objections aren't to obscure things like the acting, cinematography, soundtrack, visual effects or whatever. The production value of Star Wars is extremely high. The problem is more basic. The movies themselves don't follow the basic laws of good storytelling.

Basic Law #1: Don't give annoying, ugly, stupid characters huge segments of screen time. What on Earth were they thinking about when they invented Jar Jar Binks? And yet, are the droids any better? The wookies? The ewoks? The other gungans? No matter where you turned huge amounts of screen-time was being gobbled up by sub-sentient primitive retards.

Basic Law #2: On second though, don't give annoying, ugly, stupid characters any time at all. Why did I have to watch that stupid frog boss of the gungans go blu-blu-blu-blu-blu slobbering with his fat open mouth in front of the camera? Was I condemned to hell without my knowledge? Or how about the Return of the Jedi 2011 blu-ray version where this awful CG hairy beast screams right in front of the camera alongside this ugly pink blob of a terrible CG alien singer in this cacophony from hell called a song? Why am I being subjected to these torments? Why must I endure even a single second of something being ugly or stupid in front of me? Yoda in Empire Strikes Back also belongs to this group. He acts like a complete idiot in front of Luke, stealing his stuff and throwing it carelessly about the camp, and then expects Luke to show 'patience' when I would have just blasted a hole through his idiotic head about 30 seconds into his 'I'm a primitive native idiot alien' performance.

Basic Law #3: The enemy should never spare the good guy in any situation. There are no excuses. Any excuses are patently offensive and absurd. The title is "Star Wars" not "Star Peace" or "Star Hostage Crisis" or "Star Prisoners." The Empire is supposedly at war with the Rebel Alliance, or previously, we were in the middle of the Clone Wars. But throughout 1-6 the good guys were continuously spared by their enemies. How many times were the good guys taken prisoner instead of killed like they should have been? How many times did they break free afterwards? I hate it every time. The cumulative viewing of it happening 5 or 10 times per movie is enough to drive you insane.

How many times was Padame taken prisoner? At the very beginning of the movie on Naboo, she was taken prisoner instead of killed, in order to sign a 'treaty.' As though a treaty signed under duress has any legal validity. She was freed by the two jedi. Okay, fine. Later she goes back to Naboo, which has inexplicably lifted its blockade of like 100 battleships down to just 1 droid control ship that sits fragilely vulnerable in the sky. There she storms the palace trying to capture the viceroy of the Trade Federation. But she is eventually captured by a bunch of droidekars. Seconds later, inexplicably, all said droidekars have left and there is only a tiny, weak guard of droid robots that are easily overpowered by Padame, who then captures the viceroy in turn. Why did they capture Padame? Why didn't they kill her? If they did want to keep her prisoner, why did they leave such a scanty guard when seconds before they had rolled out an army of 10 invincible droidekars? Where did they go???????

So ends movie 1. In movie 2 she's captured again, this time on the insect planet of Genoisis. Instead of being killed, they throw her into an arena to be eaten alive by wild beasts. But she somehow gets free of this evil execution platform, only to be surrounded by battle droids and -- TAKEN PRISONER AGAIN. But wait, Dookoo decides to kill all his prisoners after all, but then a clone army rescues all the jedi + Padame from certain doom.

Prisoner Padame count: 4.

Let's compare her to Princess Leiah. How many times was Leiah taken prisoner? The original time, in movie 4, at the beginning of the movie. She's held prisoner in the hopes of interrogating her. Fine, whatever. Then she's freed by Luke Skywalker. In the next movie, however, she's captured again in Cloud City. There's a song and dance until it's eventually decided that she will be 'taken to Vader's ship.' At this point Lando rebels and frees her from the stormtroopers. You would think they would have learned from their previous mistake when Leiah got free last time because they didn't execute her, but no. But never mind that, it gets better! In movie 6, Return of the Jedi, Leiah is taken prisoner 5 more times! She decides to join a commando raid on the forest moon of Endor. The first time she was in a speederbike duel and a scout trooper, instead of shooting her like he should have, told her 'freeze, drop your weapon.' She was then rescued by an ewok and then mercilessly killed the two scout troopers who had mercifully spared her. Why did they spare her? Who knows? Are they under strict orders to never actually kill any member of the rebel alliance? Then the ewoks took her prisoner as well, not allowing her freedom of motion when she saw the ewoks set to kill her friends. After being freed from the ewoks, she joined the attack on the shield generator, where 'an entire legion of the Empire's best troops' awaited her. Unfortunately, these troops were also under strict orders to not kill any members of the alliance. Instead of mowing down their opponents in a firefight, they took them all prisoner instead. Why? There's just no telling. But as a result, they were then quickly freed by the ewoks and got to rejoin the fight. They then started killing stormtroopers left and right in an all out battle, but STILL, STILL the storm troopers took her prisoner one more time. Instead of shooting the commandos dead when they had a chance in the middle of an all-out battle, they again told them to 'drop their weapons' and 'put their hands up.' Leiah, being spared, then had the time to shoot them both dead without a hint of mercy on her part.

That's right, Leiah mercilessly kept killing the people who kept trying to mercifully hold her prisoner, who always had their guns trained on her first, who were always in a winning position where they could have killed her, but always decided not to. She also mercilessly killed Jabba the Hut who had previously spared her and taken her prisoner as a dancing girl (though why jabba the hutt was sexually interested in a female not of his species is never explained) In this way Princess Leiah was taken prisoner a record 5 times in Return of the Jedi.

It isn't just the girls who are taken prisoner instead of killed. Even though it was absurd to think Luke could be 'turned' to the Dark Side against his will, he was taken prisoner in Return of the Jedi instead of executed immediately. Because of that, he was able to defeat Darth Vader, kill the Emperor, etc. Obi-wan was taken prisoner in movie 2, but wasn't executed immediately, so he was eventually freed. Anakin as well was taken prisoner in movie 2, and was eventually freed. Multiple times in movie 3, Anakin and Obi-wan had droids point guns at them and say "drop your weapons" or "freeze" or the like. Every single time if the droids had simply shot their defenseless opponents in the back, our heroes would have lost and died. But because they hesitated, every single time Anakin and Obi-wan were able to kill said battle droids and free themselves once more. Han Solo was also taken captive at Cloud City, but was randomly encased in carbonite, alive, both for that movie and the next movie, when Jabba had previously said he wanted him dead. Then Luke, Han, and Chewie, instead of being killed immediately by Jabba, were given this ridiculously complicated execution via 'sarlacc pit,' that of course went all wrong as they fought themselves free of the situation.

Han and Leiah were even in a way taken prisoner by a giant space worm that they had unintentionally flown into in movie 5. If the space worm had simply closed its mouth it could have eaten them for sure, but apparently it was too stupid to realize this, so they flew free after all.

Who can stand this nonsense? Even Schmi Skywalker was taken prisoner by 'Sand People.' Even Luke was taken prisoner by an abominable snowman! Yes, even wild animals take prisoners instead of kill their prey, even when their goal is to eat them!!!! Is Star Wars this strange galaxy where all evil-hearted men are simply compelled by an overwhelming desire to take good people prisoner and can't help themselves? Is it like eating or sleeping, prisoner-taking is just built into their genes?

Everyone in the Star Wars crew should have died ten times over by the end of the two trilogies. In both cases the Empire or the Trade Federation should have easily won, but threw their victory away in the most contrived of ridiculous fashions.

Basic Rule #4: Explain what the Hell is going on and why. There is no explanation of the setting in Star Wars. We are never given any clue as to what is actually going on and why. There's a Rebel Alliance fighting for 'freedom' against the Empire. But what does that mean? The Emperor was duly elected by the Senate and the constitution was duly amended by said Senate to give him permanent rule. He was never undemocratic at any point. It was the Jedi Council that was undemocratic, by trying to assassinate Palpatine instead of going through the courts/senate impeachment process and assume martial law themselves. The Jedi Council was never democratic, it had this strange shadow government control of the Old Republic and didn't elect its members, but simply appointed them on the basis of strange subjective criteria. Jedi could do whatever they wanted, but the people had no power over them or checks on their authority. If freedom = democracy, everyone should have supported the Empire. The fact that 'queen' Amidalah and 'princess' Leiah existed, doesn't show a very democratic streak in these 'anti-imperial' 'freedom fighters' anyway.

If freedom equals human rights, then how am I to judge if the Alliance or the Empire was more free? I never once saw what daily life in the Empire looked like. Nor did I ever once see what daily life among the Old Republic was. Nor did I ever once get to see what daily life among the Rebel Alliance was. Since I am given no knowledge whatsoever of the human rights, the bill or rights, or the constitutions of the two forces that were competing for power, how can I judge which was more free? Am I supposed to condemn the Empire for having a more disciplined and better uniformed military than the guerrilla fighters of the Rebellion? That's absurd. Militaries are inherently 'non-free.' That says nothing about how free or non-free the normal imperial civilian was in his daily life. Am I supposed to surmise that the Empire didn't give its citizenry human rights because it blew up the entire planet of Alderaan for siding with the Rebellion? But how is that any different from 'free' America nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki or 'free' Britain firebombing Hamburg or Dresden? The Empire and the Rebel Alliance were at war. Civilians are routinely targeted in war, by both 'free' and 'despotic' nations. If you side with the Rebellion you can expect to be a legitimate target in war. The German and Japanese women and children were targeted and killed by our soldiers. I don't hear any complaints about that. Generally speaking, even fewer human rights are granted to rebels than foreign nations at war. People generally consider terrorist non-state guerrillas to be the worst sort of scum, deserving of no legal protections. The Empire was the legitimate government of the galaxy, the Rebel Alliance was just a random collection of malcontents who didn't like how the status quo was. Typically, when suppressing a rebellion, no one blinks an eye at whatever extreme measures are used.

No one can point to a single reason why the Empire was evil or the Old/New Republic was good. We have no data on this vital question. We do not have economic data about GDP, we don't have test scores showing rising or falling education levels, we don't hear anything about crime rates, tax rates, or deficits. We don't know a single damn thing about how happy, respectively, people are under the three different governments portrayed in the movies. We just have to take the Jedi's words on everything. But the Jedi are full of crap and can't be trusted.

Which leads me to:

Basic Rule #5: Don't create a morality by assertion. Don't just say crap without any debate, without anyone questioning whether it's true or not, and think you can get away with it. Yoda makes one of the most offensive speeches in human history when he tells Anakin, who is concerned about his wife dying in childbirth, that he should rejoice when people die and are 'transformed into the Force,' and that love was a grave sin because that just meant 'fear of loss' which is the Dark Side of the force. This hypocrite, despite his professed love of Death and preference for the afterlife over this life, stays alive himself for over 800 years, and then even cheats death again by reappearing as a spirit! It must be nice to have one solution for everyone else, and another for yourself! This hypocrite also didn't devote his life to killing as many people as possible. If, after all, everyone is better off after being 'transformed into the force,' why didn't Yoda hurry along this blessing by slaughtering everyone in the galaxy? People make a big deal out of Anakin killing 'younglings,' (who, after all, were armed and fought him with lightsabers, clearly siding with the treacherous coup-jedi who had attempted to assassinate the legitimate Chancellor of the Republic hours earlier), but why should they care since they are supposed to rejoice when children are slaughtered because then they transform into the force? Wasn't he just giving them the blessing of the afterlife like Yoda had told him was the most wonderful thing in the world seconds ago in the movie?

The jedi are avowed worshipers of Death who rejoice in the death of women in childbirth. They are, therefore, some of the most evil people to ever live. However, they paint themselves as 'selfless' heroes who everyone should look up to and obey. They talk about how the light side is only for 'defense,' not 'aggression,' but they launch a coup and attempt to assassinate the legitimate Chancellor of the republic, who fights only to defend himself when attacked. Likewise, Luke Skywalker twice attacks without being attacked in Return of the Jedi. He barges in to Jaba the Hutt's palace and attempts to assassinate him. A bit later in the movie, he tries to assassinate the Emperor who had previous to then not raised a single hand against him. how does this compute? Why can Luke just randomly attack people and not join the Dark Side, but everyone starts nitpicking whatever Anakin does as 'aggression'? Yoda tried to assassinate the Emperor even though the Emperor wasn't paying him any mind in movie 3, how was that 'self defense'? Wasn't that just straight out aggression on Yoda's part?

The jedi constantly talk about staying calm and acting rationally, but their hyper-paranoia concerning the dark side isn't calm or rational. What difference does it make if you shoot lightning yourself or reflect someone else's shot lightning back at them? That's the difference between good and evil? Seriously? What, exactly, is wrong with using the Dark Side of the force?????? How does using certain magic spells, no matter what cause they advance, inherently evil? And is it really true that nothing good ever comes out of fear, anger, or hatred? Doesn't anger give us focus and make us stronger? Doesn't fear give us strength and clarity in order to survive dangerous situations? Do people with adrenaline rushes necessarily turn to evil? Or do they, say, save their child's life via moving a car out of the way? Those people were angry and afraid, but they used those emotions for good, not evil.

The jedi code that forbids marriage and children is part of their cult of death. Jedi powers obviously are genetic, or else Luke and Leiah wouldn't have also been jedi. So by refusing to let jedi mate, they are dysgenically ensuring the wiping out of the ability to use the force in mankind (and alienkind.) What kind of idiotic religious order demands celibacy such that they extinct themselves and jedi cease being born anywhere? Why shouldn't jedi try to have as many offspring as possible so that everyone will have the convenience of the force? Couldn't we all use some telepathy and telekinesis in our lives?

The jedi are despicable in every way. Yoda says to Luke that he should just abandon his friends and continue training for the sake of the 'cause.' But what is Luke's cause? What does he care about overturning the empire? Didn't he always do everything for the sake of his family and friends? Luke was counseled by the heartless jedi to lose everything so that he could be a good soldier who sacrificed everything for a meaningless abstraction. A mere change in government that makes no overall difference in the quality of his life. This is how jedi think. But humans think much differently. Instead of condemning Luke for going to save his friends at Cloud City, the audience was cheering his decision. Only the jedi disagreed with his priorities. Real people with hearts think differently.

What kind of crap is a proverb like 'Do, or do not, there is no try?' Of course there is a 'try.' Football teams don't go out having decided already whether they will 'win' or 'lose.' That's called a fixed match, and it's illegal. Football teams all 'try' to beat each other. That's the best they can do. Because matches are not predetermined. In fact, nothing is predetermined in this world. All people can do is try their best, it's absurd to demand more. To say either 'win with certainty or don't bother at all' wouldn't lead to good results. Everyone would just wholesale abandon every task -- because after all how can you be certain about anything in life? We try, but we're never sure we'll succeed. According to Yoda 'that is why we fail.' What utter bullshit. I think it's yoda who fails for spouting crap.

Jedi don't distinguish between anger against injustice and hatred of evil, and anger and hate without any just cause. Even though anger and hatred can motivate people to overturn evil and fix the problems in this world, they condemn it wholesale, with no exceptions. It's all part of the 'dark side.' What an absurd philosophy.

What was with Obi-wan's statement: "Only the Sith deal in absolutes." You've got to be kidding me!! So Jedi are relativists, and only evil dark side force wielders believe in absolute truth, a set Good and Evil, 2+2=4, logic, or any other absolute in this world. Why would anyone side with jedi hippy relativists, which is another term for nihilists, who reject all absolutes in life? If everything is relative, then even that statement is relative, ie, there must be some absolutes for the statement everything is relative to be absolutely true. The very statement is therefore a contradiction, a paradox. Jedi are spouting ridiculous paradoxes in order to condemn their opponents. Sorry if I believe 2+2=4 absolutely, without any exceptions, every time. I guess that makes me a Sith Lord.

Whenever the Jedi open their mouths to say something vaguely wise you just want to stuff a sock down it and tell them to shut up. It's never wise. It's always atrocious. And it makes you perforce side with the Empire, no matter what they do, because at least they don't spout off obviously false things like the Jedi constantly do. The rallying cry of the Emperor was simple: "Anyone but the Jedi!" "Empire 2012" could have run that as their election slogan and won in an overwhelming landslide.

Basic Rule #6: Don't treat deadbeat dads like they're important. Why the hell does Luke care that Anakin is his father? He never met his biological Father all his life. What does it matter who he is? His biological father didn't raise him. His biological father never loved him or cared for him. His biological father is trying to kill him or enslave him. So why does he go on and on about how important it is that Anakin is his father? It's stupid. It makes no sense. Family ties aren't biological, they're formed by love and companionship. If you're a deadbeat dad who never shows up to raise his child and never shows any affection for said child, news flash, you no longer qualify for the term 'Dad.' You aren't related to your children in any way. They aren't your children, period. What is Luke getting so emo about? Why doesn't he just brush aside that detail by saying, "Well, thanks for the force-power genes, Daddy-O, but aside from that I don't really give a damn. This changes nothing between us." That's what any normal, sane individual would do upon hearing the news. But instead it warps him into this giant crusade to 'save' his father in Return of the Jedi, which normally would have just gotten him killed, except for the equally insane 'always-take-people-prisoner Empire' he was fighting.

Basic Rule #7: Romances should be between people who actually like each other. The romances in Star Wars are awful. Does the west have any idea whatsoever what love even looks like? Why did Anakin fall for a girl who didn't share his political or moral views? Isn't that important? If you can't agree with someone about things of extreme philosophical importance, you'll never get along for your entire lives over every single issue. Of course Anakin and Padame would be torn apart by their philosophical differences. It was inherent from the beginning. Anakin clearly said he wanted a dictator in movie 2, and Padame clearly said she was for democracy. What were they thinking by marrying? They were simply carried away by lust. I can't imagine anything else that they would like about each other. Couples should always agree about important things. It is a recipe for disaster when you have different religions or politics and try to become a couple.

Why was Anakin cast as younger than Padame? That's stupid. Girls don't fall for younger guys. It would never happen. Guys prefer younger girls who actually admire them and agree with them, not disrespectful 'you'll always be little Ani to me' and 'don't look at me that way, you're making me uncomfortable' bitches like Padame was in movie 2.

The 1-3 romance was atrocious. It was unbelievable. Anakin should have married a nice, young, imperialist lass who he met during his duties as a jedi or as a sith. He should have struck up a conversation with a girl who was pro-palpatine, like he was, and talked about how nice it would be to become Emperor and Empress together. Then he could have ruled with her and had kids with her who weren't stolen from him and created a nice Sith dynasty. His insistence on pursuing a girl he had nothing in common with was his undoing. Sheer madness. As the right hand man of the Emperor and the strongest jedi of all time, he surely had the 'cred' to get any woman he wanted. So why didn't he, with all his fame and money and power, choose a girl who'd actually love him and stay with him?

As for 4-6, the Han Solo - Leiah Organa pair is awful. They do nothing but insult each other in movie 4. How often do people who insult each other non-stop become couples? In movie 5, Han Solo keeps hitting on Leiah (which is sexual harassment/sexual assault these days, and extremely rude in any era), even though Leiah continuously rejects him. She calls him all sorts of names and says she has zero interest in him, she's more interested in wookies, but he ignores it all and practically rapes her. Then, inexplicably, it turns out Leiah liked him after all. What is this, stockholm syndrome? After you're sexually assaulted enough, your feelings for the boy changes? What kind of message is this sending to girls and boys around the world? "no means yes." Great! Let's teach this to all the kids! Who's worse between the two, Leiah who continuously snipes at Han "You do have your moments, not many, but you do have them." Do you really need to insult a guy after he personally escapes from an entire fleet of star destroyers after flying through an asteroid belt that no other pilot was able to survive? Is that not enough to not be given a cheap dig out of the blue? Or Han for kissing Leiah without permission while she's calling him a scoundrel and telling him to 'stop that?'

These romances suck. Why don't they go watch some Key anime and try again? The west apparently has no idea what love really looks like. But with a jedi order inherently opposed to romantic love as 'the dark side of the force' = 'fear of loss' and demands celibacy to 'stay in the light,' I guess you could expect results like these.

Basic Law #8: Stop winning fights with luck. There is nothing admirable or inspirational about good guys winning battles due to good luck. That's just a deus ex machina. It's completely deflating. You just sit there wondering why they ended up so lucky and resenting the movie for cheating. It was impossible, over and over again, for the heroes to be so lucky. How did a single A-wing bring down a victory-class Star Destroyer by ramming into the unprotected bridge, which was completely exposed to the slightest scratch? How badly designed are these ships? Vulnerable spots like that should have redundant backups. You should not be able to destroy an entire victory class star destroyer, population 1 million or whatever, by hitting a postage-stamp sized room with an explosion. In other cases, R2-D2 somehow luckily defeated 2 battle droids who were designed for combat. One time Jar-Jar fought an entire battle with luck alone. He would hop around, juggle balls, fall off trucks, and inadvertently destroyed massive numbers of enemy droids and droid tanks. It was insane. It was like he was the greatest warrior of all time practicing drunken boxing. But we are to believe that all of these events could have transpired by luck. Anakin in movie 1 destroyed the entire droid control battleship (which was inexplicably left alone to guard naboo when originally it had dozens of friends in space) via luck, thus winning the battle of Naboo. If the good guys aren't saved by being taken prisoner, they're saved by luck. Their luck never fails them no matter how grim the situation.

It may not have failed them, but it certainly failed to impress this viewer.

Basic Rule #9: Non-stop action does not make your story interesting. It was rare for five minutes to pass in Star Wars without someone facing a near death experience. At no time could you ever simply sit down and have a peaceful conversation about daily life. Luke is immediately attacked by a snowman on Hoth. When he lands on Dagobah, a swamp beast immediately attacks Artoo. When they fall in the trash compactor, they have mere seconds before a tentacled monster drowns Luke. Seconds later the trash starts compacting, threatening to crush them all. There is NO TIME FOR ANYTHING. The hectic action is non stop. The moment they're done shooting storm troopers and fighting Tie fighters in a new hope, they have to go right back to blow up the death star with 12 whole x-wings and y-wings. (Yeah, that sounds likely to work.) If you got out a stopwatch and tried to find five minutes without some weapon being used anywhere in any of the 6 movies, I don't think you could reach 10 minutes.

In movies 1-3, there's always another evil jedi to lightsaber duel, or a droid to shoot/stab. It doesn't stop. It simply never gives it a rest. In return of the jedi perhaps the most peaceful moment in the movie is when C3P0 narrates their previous battles with the Empire to the ewoks in their tent. In Empire the Falcon is hunted from the beginning of the movie to the very end. There is simply no time whatsoever they aren't under fire while their 'hyperdrive is malfunctioning.' Even during Luke's supposedly peaceful training he ends up having a sword fight with a phantom Darth Vader. Apparently the movie makers decided that one scene in the six movies didn't have enough action and needed more. Even when the jedi are simply traveling from the gungan city to the naboo city, they end up having to escape ravenous giant fish. I can't stand this breakneck pace. If the world is really this dangerous, everyone would die by age 5, which the jedi would rejoice about, because then they'd get to 'transform into the force.'

A story without any peaceful living doesn't have any characters. Most people operate in one manner when under stress, when called to action, and another when relaxed and carefree. We will never know the other side of any character in star wars. They are continuously at war. I know nothing about any of these people except how good they are with blasters and lightsabers. Actually, the most peaceful scenes can be found in the Empire, when people are generally just talking to each other about tactics or orders. They tend to be in safe, clean environments, not attacked by snowbeasts and swampbeasts, but unfortunately violence even creeps into their lives as Darth Vader is constantly choking someone or other. Just a thought -- why didn't Darth Vader simply choke his Jedi opponents to death too? Why even bother with a sword? Or lightning? Choking seems to actually work.

I've never seen such a hectic panoply of scenes without any sensible transition. The non-stop action leaves you with a headache, but it doesn't leave you with any clear sense of what happened and why. You can barely understand anything except 'bam' 'whap,' 'pow' like an old batman comic.

In anime, fighting has careful analysis by all parties, who explain the method and meaning behind their moves and why they are fighting philosophically. Everyone's character is fully explained and all of their actions are carefully analyzed. There is no explanation or analysis in Star Wars. It's just wall to wall mindless action. The difference between fighting series like Naruto or Dragon Ball and Star Wars are enormous. In Star Wars, there's always a fight ongoing, which is also true of Naruto. But in Naruto there are flashbacks where people's characters are delved into as children. In Naruto people have strategies and plans behind their attacks and aren't just rushing forward mindlessly. In Naruto everything makes sense and the author takes his time. In Star Wars nothing makes sense and you always feel rushed. Who can stomach such nonsense?

When you realize that Star Wars is the 'best of the West.' IE, we simply can't produce anything better artistically, that these are the most famous, enduring, and popular movies Hollywood's ever made, you realize that not only Star Wars, but Western Culture is completely unsalvageable.