Ace Attorney: The story is too simplistic and ridiculous to take seriously. No mystery could realistically be solved in so short a time and in such a haphazard manner. This is just an avenue for injustice, which is hardly a laughing matter. Fail.
Mayoiga: This story has a lot of separate threads. There's a Danganronpa aspect which is of course bad. There's also an interesting portrait to a large number of people which is good. Then there's some sort of survival horror aspect which could go either way. This story could easily blossom or flame out in a short amount of time, but for now it has potential and that's all it takes for a first episode. Pass.
Pan de Peace: A short anime that tried to cram too much dialogue into a short amount of time, creating a traffic pileup and a complete mess of a story. Koufuukuu Graffiti or Sakura Trick, pick one. Fail.
Endride: A completely bland character falls into a completely bland setting and carries out completely bland action sequences for no discernible reason. Fail.
Boku no Hero Academia: A very generic plot and setting clearly intended to mirror the success of One Piece and Naruto. The first episode wasn't horrible, and the hype for this show is huge, so I'll keep with it in the attempt to see its 'true value.' Pass.
Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu: Another story where an otaku is transported into an alternate fantasy world. Except this one comes with a twist -- our hero somehow has the UQ Holder time travel ability of Kirie, so whenever he dies he resets at an apple stand. This is helpful, since he manages to die twice in just the first episode. A pretty exciting start to things, and with White Fox doing the animation it of course looks great too. Let's see if it can surpass its most recent rival, Konosuba, though. I'd say so far Konosuba has the better premise and cast of characters. Pass.
Bakuon: This is a funny and cute show. However, its focus on motorcycles is totally uninteresting to me. It tries to make up for that through generalized ecchi fan service, but that just seems out of place and disconcerting when paired with a girl's motorcycle club. Without even any guy in the picture who could be focusing on breasts, the camera always zooming in on them has zero excuse left for its naked pandering. The girls aren't even that pretty to begin with, so the effect isn't as positive as you'd expect, either. Fail.
Seisen Cerberus: Terrible in every way imaginable. The main character is this cocky idiot punk. He favors thieves and antagonizes the law. There's feminist stereotype breaking nonsense seemingly randomly inserted into the middle of the story for no reason. The world is totally generic and uninteresting. How the hell did this anime even get made? It's so utterly bad that I'm surprised the people making it all didn't commit seppuku in shame before it was released. Fail.
Hundred: A generic ripoff of Infinite Stratos, Muhai Bahamut, Rakudai Kishii, Asterisk War, etc, etc. There was no point to this story ever being written, since it's just plagiarism through and through. Fail.
Joker Game: This show is overly focused on looking and being cool. Ignoring the chuunibyou aspect though, it's a pretty solidly put together show. The visuals are great. The plot is fluid and not overly rushed. I like the setting and time period. We'll just have to see how things go. Pass.
Sousei no Onmyouji: This show is sort of like Shakugan no Shana except without the subtlety and intelligence of the original's story telling. Since everyone loves Shakugan this isn't such a bad idea, just don't expect too much and it should be a fun paranormal action ride. Pass.
Onigiri: Too short to make any sense or say anything of use. Fail.
Bungou Stray Dogs: The random transitions between good and bad art is really discombobulating. In addition, the characters aren't heroic enough to be worthy of anyone's attention. I could go on and on but what's the point? It's just a terrible series. Fail.
Unhappy: These girls endure various physical and mental injuries as a form of humor that codifies the entirety of the comedy. This is all we'll get for the rest of the show. Moe suffering. It's a horrible combination that could only work for sadists. Fail.
Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta: The first genuinely good new series of the spring season. If every episode were this funny it would be as good as (or better than?) Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. However, it feels like they played all the cards in their hand already, and the future of the series is in grave peril of irrelevancy. Kotoura-san had the same problem. A fantastic first episode followed by total garbage in all subsequent outings. I won't be able to judge this show's true quality until it's halfway through or so. Then I'll see whether the atmosphere can stay this funny and insightful about the MMO lifestyle throughout. Pass.
Koutestujou no Kabaneri: Move aside, Netoge no Yome. The best series of the spring has arrived. Made by the animators of Shingeki no Kyojin, a complete clone of Shingeki no Kyojin has arrived. Not a bad idea, given that Shingeki was awesome. And just as Wheel of Time was better than Lord of the Rings, a clone of Shingeki could end up actually surpassing Shingeki. You could not ask for a more solid beginning to an epic storyline as this one. The art is outlandishly beautiful, in a really distinct way. The music is compelling and the animation is adrenaline pumping. Anyone who sees this show will be blown away, or simply explode into a thousand fragments, because their eyes just couldn't take the sheer amount of awesome that pours forth from the screen. Pass.
Like usual, not all the spring series could be previewed in a single week. Mayoiga is about to air its second episode before many shows will air their first. As such, my first impressions post will have to end here. The second part will cover the remaining series (or even a third part if necessary). Leaving off on Kabaneri is an optimistic ending. Mumei, the heroine, is already in my beautiful anime girls picture gallery. I suspect the series will shortly be in my great anime rankings as well.