Recently, an article ran on google news asking, 'where are all the men?'
It detailed the frustrations of a bunch of 30-somethings who had their lives totally together -- a fancy degree, a high income, a prestigious, comfortably air conditioned job, a large circle of friends, and an attractive fit body. And after they had acquired all of these things they thought to add an extra accessory to their collection, a husband and children as well. But the moment they looked out the window, they found to their dismay that men did not have their acts together. That any who did happen to have their acts together were already attached to some other lucky girl who had struck first, and as for the rest, they were all beneath contempt.
Startlingly, only 6% of men have a 'white-collar' job based off of a fancy degree earning a high income. That's a pretty small number to service all the women in the country, and so long as we stick to monogamous marriage, the math simply doesn't add up. A gigantic number of men drop out of high school and turn to lives of crime or just drudgery as their personality sees fit. Another enormous portion drops out of college, finding the rote memorization of pure nonsense to be unlivable torture. A third segment graduates from college, but then doesn't go on to graduate school or some sort of heavy-workload job that would generate a truly successful career. In fact, they live the exact same as the high school dropouts who skipped college in the first place. Apparently these graduates never saw the point in applying themselves even though they had the necessary talent and attitude to succeed.
What went wrong?
First, I will explain what isn't the problem -- the problem isn't that men are naturally just stupid or lazy. In fact, men are smarter than women on average according to all IQ tests across hundreds of years. They are also willing to work harder than women, and are far more likely to take grueling work loads of far more dangerous or exhausting work than the part time labor that women prefer. So it isn't that men are lazy either. The problem is the education system. Rather than relying on natural merit to assign people to jobs they would be good at and enjoy, we have created an artificial barrier to entry that unreasonably favors women.
It starts all the way back in primary school, where boys are medicated to be able to sit around in classrooms all day when they want to be left free to run around and play. Girls don't have to take drugs in order to sit in a classroom, because this is their idea of fun in the first place. Why is school designed to be so hellish for boys that you have to put them on drugs in order for them to endure it, while for girls it fits like a glove? Isn't that blatant discrimination in favor of girls?
It then extends forwards to middle school. Women develop faster than men both physically and mentally, they are more fully adult by age 14 than men are at that exact same age. However, we lump them together into the same classrooms and expect equal results from them anyway. Treating unequal people equally is as absurd as demanding women compete with men in fields like weightlifting or soccer. Why should men have to compete with women in the classroom when neuroscience has taught us that the male and female brain are polar opposites at this point in the development cycle? To make matters worse, by integrating the sexes, these young boys are surrounded by the stuff of their dreams, endless nubile girls none of whom they could ever hope to get for themselves, because they're still physically and mentally undeveloped and thus totally unattractive to the opposite sex. This distraction trumps anything the teacher could do to get them to focus on the schoolwork and study.
Then we enter high school. Thankfully, men at this point have matured enough, biologically, to both sit still in a classroom and to understand quickly and efficiently the lessons being imparted. Finally boys can keep up with the girls scholastically, and even outperform them. But what reward do men get out of this? Even if they are intelligent enough to learn the lessons and ace the tests, they will still get worse grades than their female counterparts, who religiously do all their homework, study endless hours for tests, and put in endless extra effort for extra credit, while constantly lobbying the teacher with flattery and tears to give them better grades even when the results are already in. The entire system is skewed to reward women over men, even when strict merit, did you learn the material, favors men over women. Why does homework even exist as a graded portion of your final score? If you can pass the test, how are you in any way inferior to the girl who did all her homework but still got a worse grade than you when it came to showing applied knowledge? Furthermore, so much of high school is about saying the politically right thing in essays that the whole testing apparatus is bogus. If a boy in an essay says the American Indians had it coming and Jamestown was in the right, do you really think the grader, no doubt a woman, will give him an A? Even if it has tons of evidence and is rigorously logical in every sentence? Men hate lies, while women love them. This is one of the most critical divides between the sexes, and documented over thousands of years. Women wear lies like an extra suit of protective clothing, never allowing anyone to know what they really think or feel. But men just want to tell the truth and kill anyone who disagrees with them, problem solved. When you are graded by women who want you to lie on every single English and History essay, what chance does a boy have?
To add insult to injury, if you really are one of those boys who takes all AP courses and studies every day, doing all of his homework and religiously kissing up to the teacher's own views, you still aren't attractive to girls. There is no reward for your activities at all. You are likely to be bullied by other boys for being a nerd, and sniffed at by girls for not showing alpha dominance via physical ability, muscles, posture, and speech. Boys are told that if they do all these torturous activities, someday, ten years from now, they'll be making $100,000 a year instead of $10,000 a year. But who could possibly delay gratification that long for such a nebulous, uncertain future reward? All they see is that right now, all around them, they're worse off for studying hard and getting good grades than all the boys with girlfriends who just go to parties and get drunk on the weekends. High school boys are desperate for girls, who all around them are stunningly beautiful, with a teenage fervor that body metabolisms would keel over dead if experienced in adulthood. Are they in a position to heed this kind of advice?
And then the finishing blow comes: College. College is a woman's playground. General education requirements mean that men are forced to endure endless nonsense, like courses on diversity and tolerance, science courses on the evil of global warming, and English courses that show how evil white men have been over the last five centuries, with every single story written from the viewpoint of an oppressed woman, gay, or person of color. Yet again, trivial things like attendance and homework are valued above "Did you learn the material and can you pass the test?" But boys find this problem even more difficult because there are no longer laws or parents forcing them to attend or do the homework. The already natural chasm between boys' and girls' willingness to do utterly worthless things is further multiplied by the fact that no one is pressuring them to do it anymore. If somehow a boy survives the general education portion of college, they must then choose one of two roads -- if they major in the liberal arts, they will be a distinct minority, and all of their professors will be hyper liberals, and all of their courses will be endless liberalism that, yet again, teaches nothing but how evil white men have been for the last five hundred years. Every single old writer or poet will be 'deconstructed' to show how the prejudices of that age influenced what was written, things we have now become too enlightened to believe anymore (or else!). If this constant garbage isn't enough to convince a man to give up, perhaps he can graduate from college, but will he really be interested in going to grad school and repeating his mistake all over again?
The other choice a man has is to enter a rigorous discipline of mathematics, science, statistics, economics, engineering, pre-law, pre-med, etc. These college courses are the real deal and only exceptionally intelligent, exceptionally hard working people can pass them even when they devote absolutely every single hour of their lives to passing these courses. These courses are so stressful and so demanding that any boy taking them, no matter how intelligent, can kiss his social life goodbye. Instead of chatting up a storm with a bunch of girl friends about the evils of the white male patriarchy, like you could do in an anthropology course, they are sitting in their apartment trying to shut off all the noise of the world so they can beat their head endlessly against crazy formulas that don't use a single letter in the English language anymore. Yet again, you are forcing the boys who want to succeed to forgo any enjoyment in their lives or any chance to have a girlfriend. Quite simply, these boys are too busy to meet girls and even if they did, they wouldn't conform to the right stereotypes to be attractive. They aren't athletes, they don't have an extroverted personality, they don't have a large admiring peer group to show that they're alphas, they don't give off vibes of masculine confidence that every girl in the room belongs to them, etc. In fact they will tend to be quiet, not drink, and find everything and everyone in the conversation boring, and probably still be thinking over how to solve the latest math or chemistry question waiting for them at home, while wondering what the hell they are doing here in the first place with people who share absolutely nothing in common with them. If said boy wanted to strike up a conversation with a girl, he could talk about the problems of combining nitrogen with sulfur, but would she really be interested? Or maybe he could bring up number theory and matrices. That would work real well.
The only reward for people with these majors is yet again, a long term benefit of making a high income at a prestigious job somewhere far, far down the road. These college majors very rarely stop at a bachelor's degree. Very rarely is a bachelor's degree in mathematics or physics in any way useful. So they must continue on this grueling road, without a girlfriend and with very few friends, with practically no hobbies or free time, for year after year after year, through grad school, and even through Med School, Law School, or some other post doctoral program. Another huge segment of boys who chose this course will be ground down to a pulp and give up halfway. Or they will fall too deeply into debt and not be able to afford the ever-mounting student loans and bills that add up as they still haven't gotten a paying job yet.
The worst of it is, if they were simply allowed to apprentice themselves at 16 to a real lawyer or doctor or whatever, they could have mastered the job in a few years and become just as quality a professional as the professionals who do the jobs today. But we instead created this college system which requires people be dramatically overqualified in fields that have zero application to the job, while still having zero job skills that would actually make them qualified to do the job they get a degree for. So these boys are working their tails off to achieve something far harder than the actual job itself (Everyone agrees college is more stressful than the real life workforce), while not earning a penny but in fact losing hundreds of thousands of dollars, while still not learning anything relevant to the job they will be doing in the future.
The vast majority of boys are discouraged, ground down, and drop out somewhere along this path. But for the chosen few, the 6%, they will get a high paying job and find that their marriage prospects are quite rosy. They will find a good girl, one of the oodles of 30-somethings with fairy tale lives of easy success, and they will even have their pick of the crop so they'll find someone with a virtuous personality too. But what about the remaining 94%? Who can they find?
While girls take the easy path through college, learning pure fluff, they still exit the other side with high job prospects. This is because there is a great demand for workers with social communication skills, team-building, and attractive bodies to showcase products and brands with. If the nurse or flight attendant is pretty, this will make the customer happier than if he were some gruff fat boy who doesn't like speaking to strangers. There is virtually no job that wouldn't benefit from a girl's atmosphere, just by being feminine, whether it's customer relations, sales, marketing, secretary work or anything else. Since the primary consumer in the world is women, women will be the best at relating to them and selling the product to them, so they have a built-in workplace advantage of having the appropriate mindset to succeed.
So it turns out that while women, without particularly any merit, whether as hard workers or intelligent brains, are set for life via the education and job system of modernity, men need to reach heroic, Oddyssean levels of courage and persistence to reach the same plateau. Obviously, if boys and girls are being put through two different wringers, the results will be unequal.
Even if artificially boys and girls are enduring the exact same set of requirements, because boys and girls are biologically different the level of difficulty in the tasks presented above are orders of magnitude different. Just as if you asked a girl to do 100 pushups or pullups, and then said 'what's the big deal I'm asking the same of the boys in the classroom?', asking men to write essays on why white men are evil or to sit through classrooms learning about the dative tense of a foreign language is insane torture while for girls it's genuinely fun. Boys will only put effort into things they see are relevant. They are narrow minded, not multi-taskers, and they care very deeply about where they direct their mind and how they spend their time. If the course being studied does not interest them they cannot feign interest no matter how hard they try. While women are careful observers of the world and like to know something about everything and everyone, men like to concentrate on one single thing and do it extremely well, pushing away everything else as a distraction.
The results of male thinking speaks for itself -- these are the people who deliver every single major invention, every single scientific discovery, every single mega-billion dollar business founder, and every single philosophical or religious breakthrough in world history. If you want to be great at something, you cannot think like a girl. Men have evolved to fulfill this role. Our brains are wired to fulfill this role. If you ask us to think like a girl, of course we'll fail. And school demands this of boys, every day for thirty long years. If instead school let us focus on a field of study we were actually interested in, we would deliver in spades. And then, if school allowed us to actually participate in the field we were interested in, as a hands-on laboring apprentice, we would flourish even more than if we just read about it abstractly. If we were not surrounded by girls with distractingly good looks, and harridan teachers who show blatant favoritism towards the girls in the classroom, we would flourish even more. But who would want that?
The education system, the employment system, everything is geared so that girls turn out with better results. Whenever girls do worse in any part of the education or employment system, the media and politicians cry out in distress, demanding change. But when men dramatically underperform women in school, college admissions, earnings, etc, this is taken as a healthy and enlightened result that we should all be striving for. The worse boys suffer, the better, to make up for all those centuries of oppression. Besides, since men are still the best chess masters in the world, we must continue to cripple boys even further until they get with the program. In the interest of equality, men must be driven into absolute despair and complete failure in every field. Only then will the revolution be complete.
So long as women continue to be straight (and really, is there any reason for this antiquated practice anymore, now that there are sperm donors and cloning devices?), their wish for a 'good man' to settle down with is at odds with their decades long program to grind down and destroy all the men in their midst. The only men who survive their system are people the Army Rangers or Delta Force would be proud of. That level of capability is reserved for only a tiny few, and there's simply no way the rest of us can match them. You cannot ask more of men than they are naturally, biologically capable of giving.
I would say 9/10 of good men never got through all the hoops of college and grad school and high level employment because they stumbled somewhere along the grueling way. These men are smarter than most women, sophisticated, virtuous, interested in all sorts of things, creative, funny, and confident. They have anything a girl could ask in terms of inner nature -- but they don't have a college degree or a high paying job. They will be working in some field that does not engage their capacity fully or bring out their inner potential. The only way you will learn to admire them is if you get to know them personally, rather than just by looking at objective measures, which will all underestimate their worth. If these 30 something women want to get hitched, they're going to have to actually get to know the opposite sex, instead of just sit on a podium and make demands.
But there are two additional factors that make the situation even more hopeless. You see, most men are embittered against women. They have been stomped on so hard and so long by women who constantly spurned, insulted, and betrayed them, and by a society which so relentlessly ridiculed and marginalized them, that they've simply lost interest in women as a group. They might be willing to have sex with you, but they'll never, ever, agree to a relationship. The arrogance of women who have never achieved anything of significance in their lives is breathtaking. The condescension they give out towards men is insulting. Men know that they are actually far smarter, more productive, and more virtuous than the girls who are sneering at them, and they will sneer right back at women, all the way until they're old, fat, and ugly, while the men are still youthful in appearance and a good catch. Women have lost the ability to appeal to men by being so disloyal, so judgmental, and so competitive that they have lost track of what it means to even be a woman or how to satisfy a man. They simply aren't that attractive to men anymore, and the older they get, the worse they become.
Secondly, men respond to women and children by transforming themselves into the type of people they need to be. Like I said previously, men cannot focus on something unless they see that it is directly relevant to their lives or self interest. They are not interested in classifying butterflies or reading poetry. One of the things they do not find relevant, therefore, so long as they are single, is making a lot of money or getting a secure job. Men are fine with 'roughing it,' and making do with less. They are not status conscious, so the judgment of society can't compel them to do anything. They don't care what other people's opinions are of them, because they are satisfied with themselves and drive off an internal engine. The usual carrots and sticks that compel women to achieve do not work for men. For a woman, they must appear successful to win the approval of their friends and family. They are inwardly insecure and need outward proofs of their self-worth to validate themselves. Lastly, they love expensive things and surrounding themselves with all sorts of trinkets. Their taste in housing, clothes, jewelry, cars, etc all means they must earn endless amounts of money so that they can consume endlessly in endless shopping sprees. Men don't care about any of these things, and therefore don't need any money to buy them.
There is only one thing men will work for, and that is their wife and children. They don't do it for status, they don't do it for approval, and they don't do it for disposable income. They do it out of love for people who matter more to them than life itself. All of their personal feelings, all of their unwillingness to endure college or the office, flies out the window if a woman or a child is depending on them. If a woman is waiting for them back home, ready to thank them for a hard day's work, or a child reveres them as a conquering hero because he's a policeman or a postman, men will gird their loins and march out the door, ready to take on the King of Hell itself.
Men will do anything for the people they love. Their self-sacrifice is another part of their wired in programming. We were built to serve women and children to the last extreme. But what happens if women spurn them their whole lives long, and they don't have any children?
Since no one needs them, they never try in the first place. Since no one is depending on them, they never become dependable. Cause and effect has been reversed. Women demand men become 'ideal' in order to merit marriage and children. Men don't bother becoming 'ideal' until they have a wife and children. This is like an immovable object colliding with an unstoppable force. Something has to give here, and if women want to marry, if they want to find all the 'good men,' they're going to have to be the ones. The current system, which has lasted some thirty years of endless education and endless dating, of endless breakups and endless divorces, has shown definitively that men aren't interested in the game anymore, and have en masse quit the game of life. If you want to turn them back into the high quality catches you always dreamed about, you will have to love them first, accept them first, embrace them first, have children with them first, be devoted and loyal and compassionate to them first, and only then expect results, and your reward.
Good men are born from good women. They do not exist in isolation. They are like magnetic monopoles, pure myths, that science simply cannot replicate. If good women want to find a good man, take a guy off the street, and then make him want to be good. And no, nagging, tongue lashings, and upturned noses aren't going to cut it. You don't attract bees with vinegar.
Men need women more than women need men. Men are very specialized units, that are designed to excel at very specific things. Women are all rounders, who are mediocre at everything. As a result, women are emotionally balanced and excellent at getting by in life, while men are unbalanced and incapable of living alone. Endless studies have shown that men live some twenty years longer on average by being married -- that's how incompetent we are without women at our sides. Therefore, it's silly to judge men by how they live and act the day you meet them at the single's bar. The only time men really start to shine is once they're already married and have people A) looking after them in the little things and B) depending on them in the big things. This is what maximizes a male's potential. He can devote himself fully to something he is interested and focused on, because all the distractions are dealt with by the woman. And he feels that his work and life is relevant because it's taking care of the people he loves, and making them happy, which is the best feeling in the world. Just as lions don't look very cool in cages, men don't look very cool when they're single. But put them in the right environment, and they will become kings. It's women who can create these environments, not men, and thus it falls to women whether they wish to have cool guys in the world again, or just leave things at the disastrous status quo. I'll be fascinated to see what decision women as a group make from here on.